On today’s episode Tanisha and I shared our personal experiences with childhood trauma and how we overcame it through vulnerability and sharing our stories. We emphasized the importance of seeking help and support to overcome trauma and delved into topics like manifesting and personal growth. Tanisha opened up about surviving childhood trauma, including a near-fatal accident and sexual assault, and how she coped using mental strategies. We also discussed the significance of self-love and acceptance in breaking free from toxic relationships and recognizing how unaddressed trauma can influence behavior. Our conversation highlights the value of near-death experiences in gaining a new appreciation for life and the importance of forgiveness and taking control of one's life.

About Tanisha Adams:

I am the creator of the podcast "Healthy Mindset Miracles," where I share insights and strategies for maintaining a positive and balanced mindset. My passion for personal development extends into my writing.  am currently working on my first book, "Path of Choices: Everything in Life is a Choice," based on a true story of my life.

This work draws from my personal experiences to highlight the significance of the decisions we make and their impact on our lives.

In addition to my work in personal development, I manage EverGreat Travel, where I strive to create unforgettable travel experiences for our clients. My expertise in administration and my ability to adapt to new environments have been pivotal in the agency's success.

With a background that blends entrepreneurial spirit and commitment to personal growth, I am always seeking new opportunities to expand my skills and make a positive impact.

Find Tanisha at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healthy-mindset-miracles/id1714562551

https://www.facebook.com/tanisha.adamsii

https://www.facebook.com/HealthyMindsetMiracles

CONNECT WITH SHANNAN MONDOR:

Website: shannankym.com

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fulfillment-in-faith/id1653165886

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannankym

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannanmondor

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shannanmondor

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SHANNANKYM

Book: https://www.amazon.ca/How-Hell-Did-Get-Here/dp/0228871220

Email: shannan@shannankym.com

When you have faith in yourself you will have fulfilment in all areas of your life!

See you next week and blessing to all!!! 

Hello everybody. My name is Shannan Mondor, and I am the host of my podcast fulfillment in faith today. My guest is Tanisha. Adams, welcome, Tanisha, how are you?

Hi, Shannan. Thank you so much. I'm doing great. How are you?

I am absolutely fantastic. Oh. I'm really good because I'm getting to the end of my children's school year. So how can I not be happy and thankful about that, and maybe not have so many early mornings throughout the week, for sure? But life's good. Life's good.

Extra sleep is always best. I

know, I know I like to I if I could sleep in every day, I would and go to bed every early every night like I love my sleep. It's it's almost pathetic. But you know, that's who I am.

I know I know the same way.

So what we're gonna do, Tanisha, is I want you to tell the audience members a little bit about yourself, where you're from, and then from there, you can get right into your story, sure.

So, so a little bit about myself. I'm from Florida, Central Florida. I was born in St Petersburg, Florida, and lived most of my life in Central Florida, and then I traveled a few places. Was in Alabama for a little bit when I was younger, and Illinois, but mostly, most of my life was in Florida. Today, I actually live in Alabama now. So I really like it, the rural areas. It's fun. And so it's just, you know, I am a mother of why birth three children. Mine are 2826 and 18. But I also just married an amazing man seven years ago, and he had six. So the between the two of us, we have nine children and one grandbaby.

And it throws me away. Tanisha, when you say that you have a 28 year old, because you don't look over 30 years old. Thank you. No, seriously, it just blows me away. Yeah, you, you're young looking.

I was very young when I had my first child. But no, we'll, we'll get into that story later on. But yeah, she, she was my first baby, and then I, I'd had my second one two years later. And then I waited about 10 years before, eight years before I had my next one. But they all my girls are amazing women, and I am just thrilled to be their mother. And what's so funny you say that because every time I'm out in public with them, people always say, Oh, is that your sister? My girls are like, No, that's my mother.

Ego. Fun, yeah,

it does. I just gotten used to it, and my I just smile, and I'm like, No, those are my babies. They came from me. Beautiful,

beautiful. Yeah.

So what more do you want to know? I mean, there's so much I can tell you about me. You

know what all you gotta do now is go right into your story, because you have got an incredible story that I want you to share with everybody, because a lot of people are going to be relating with what you're saying, and they're going to be learning, and that's the whole reason for this podcast, is to let them know that they are not the only one. You have gone through a lot. I've gone through a lot, and that we're here to do is we're here to help people definitely within So, yeah, go for it. Well, I

think the one of the reasons why you and I connected so well is because both of us had childhood trauma, yeah, and we your story is a bit different from my story, but they're both still traumatic stories, and we both have been able to have victory over them. And so I want to say thank you so much, Shannan, for coming on to my podcast that you did and sharing your story, because it's been very compelling and inspiring to me as well. And so if I cry a little right now, that's okay.

I've cried in many podcasts. I have cried on almost every single interview that I've ever done. But no, that is what we need to let people know, is if you can show your vulnerability, that is the greatest barrier, and that is your ticket to freedom,

absolutely and such a strong superpower, and that is something that you have actually inspired me and showed me that it's okay to tell my story. It's been really hard for me to share my story, but your encouragement and the things that you've taught me has taught me that it's okay. So when I was a young girl, at the age of four years old, you would thought that I was dealt a really wrong hand in life, because at four years old, we lived in Winter Haven Florida, and it was really cold that morning, and my mother, we didn't have any means of heat in our home. The only thing that we had was an oven that we could turn on the oven, open the oven door, and let it heat the home. And my mother had had a chair next to the oven, and she was making a bottle for my sister at the time, she was really young. She's like a year old, and she had just got done making. Hamburger on the stove. Well, I told my mother I was cold, and she told me to sit next to the oven to get warm. And instead of sitting next to it, I sat on the oven door, and the entire oven fell over top of me and and burned the whole left side of my body. And so you can imagine, at four years old, having a flannel on, which was my step bags flannel at the time, so that he panicked, and he just ripped that flannel off of me and it and it scarred the whole left side of my body. And then I was airlifted from Tampa to Cincinnati, Ohio, where the Shriners took care of me, and they had put plaster on my body, plastered me. And it's so crazy, because even though I was four years old and I'm 45 now, I still remember this as if it was yesterday. But I remember that the coldness of the plaster and the smell of the the hospital, and, you know, I just remember all of that, which is crazy, but I guess when you go through so much trauma, there's two things, two reactions you have. You can either remember it in detail, or you completely put it out of your mind and forget about it. And so I always have remembered everything that's ever happened to me. And I think there's, I mean, we'll get into the reasons why I feel like I have but then, as I got older about we had moved from Florida to Alabama, a northern town in Alabama. It's called Estill fork. It was a very small town. It wasn't even on the map. You know, back the day when they had paper maps, even had that town on the map. But from the ages of six to eight years old. We were there, and we lived in a a little shack. We didn't even have running water, and it was just so many things that we, you would thought that we were Amish because we had no running water, no bathroom. We had an outhouse in the back, and we had to pump her well water. You know, that's, that's just the way we lived, and my mom had to go to work, and she had this babysitter, and her babysitter had a daughter about same age as me, and she was became my best friend, but she also had three sons and a cousin that came over there often, and unfortunately, those four guys every single day for two years of my life had sexually assaulted me, and it started with one of them just trying to convince me it was okay to look at dirty magazines or to just like touch Me in places or touch them and and they told me that if I ever told anybody, that they would do it to my sister. So to protect my sister, I never told anybody, and I held that in my mom never knew. She didn't even know until I got older as an adult, what had happened, and because I had never wanted my mom to feel guilty for somebody else's actions, you know, because as far as she knew, she was, you know, my best friend was there, and I was happy, and I never showed any Signs of of trauma, because I as even as a young child, I knew how to handle mentally of clocking out, if that makes any sense, so I would clock out during those moments, and then come when I would when they were over, I would come back to reality, and nothing ever happened.

Can I ask Sure? Did they ever sexually assault your sister? Because no said to you, they could have said to her,

no, they never did my I've talked to my sister about it, and as far as I know, she's never told me that they have Okay, and she's never showed any signs that anything ever happened to her. Okay, so, which is, which is good, yeah. So, but, yeah. So I still, I still remember all that I, you know, this is one of the things. When I was writing this in my book, and I was writing the details of things that happened in my book, it was probably one of the hardest chapters I'd ever written in my life, and it took me literally five hours to get through it. When I got done with the chapter, I got up and I just hugged my husband really tight, and I was like, that was hardest thing I'd ever done. And he said, but how do you feel right now? And I said, I feel free. I feel like I finally can let this secret that I've had all my life go and then I know it's going to heal somebody else. So it was, it was amazing to have that moment, and then, you know, just letting go those feelings and those pains. And so after we left that area, and I finally got away from them, we moved to another town in Alabama. Okay, and I started noticing, or I think back, and I think of the some of the behaviors that I had because of the trauma that I went through, and I had some really odd behaviors between in time that I was eight to 12 years old, of, you know, just sensational feelings in my private areas and things that I knew that was not right and I shouldn't be feeling that way, you know, things like that, and I remember not knowing how to handle them, and so I would act out a little bit when those things would happen, or I'd feel those feelings. I would act out and do things like color on my wall when I wasn't supposed to, you know, you know, just, just crazy things I'd get in trouble for all the time. But then we moved back to Florida, and at 12 years old, I was put into a middle school. It was 16th Street Middle School. It's not even there anymore. They've, closed it down. But I was 16th Street Middle School in St Petersburg, and this was written up in the newspaper. I was 12 years old, and I remember going to my next class because we were in I was in middle school then, and I told my teacher I had a really bad headache. And she said, Well, put your head down on the desk. And I said, Okay, so I put my head down, and my headaches just getting worse and worse, and I was feeling more and more sick. And so when the bell rang, instead of going to my next class, which happened to be Jim and we were going to be running that day, I went to the new nurses station, because they had just started a nursing pilot program in the school. That's when they started putting in nurses into the schools, and I went to the nurse's station. I said, I don't feel good. I have a headache. And so the first thing they always did was triage. They would take your temperature, take your blood pressure, you know, stuff like that. Well, the nurse takes the nurse's assistant, took my blood pressure, and then she shook her head crazy, and took it again. And then she said, Sit down and rest for a few minutes and thinking that something's wrong with her machine. So I sat there, and few minutes later, she took it again. She called the nurse, and then she called 911, and then she called my mom, because my blood pressure at 12 years old was 180 over 120 at 12 years old, and the hospital was only a mile down the road from the from the school. And so when my mom got there, I didn't know what was going on. I just knew the ambulance showed up. My mom showed up, and they're telling me that I have to go to the hospital immediately. And so I told them, I'm like, I don't want to go in the ambulance in front of all my friends. That's kind of embarrassing. So they let me ride with my mom. My mom gets me to the hospital. They were expecting me there at the door. They got me, and by the time I got to the hospital, my blood pressure, because of all the excitement, was 210 over 180 they said that if I had gone to gym that day, I would not be here today. So I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life has a purpose, because I shouldn't be here. There was too many things that happened to me as a young child that should have taken me out, and it didn't. So the source of that high blood pressure was my right kidney was malfunctioning and should have been functioning properly, and it was my left kidney was trying to overcompensate what my right kidney should have been doing. So two weeks later, they removed my right kidney. And so I have lived all my life with just one kidney, been perfectly fine ever since, and my fact my left kidney is perfectly healthy and I don't have any challenges. Now, they didn't know at the time what had caused that, but later on in life, I learned because of the trauma at four years old, when I had the burn accident that started to deteriorate and then dehydrate my right kidney. So that's what happened. And so throughout the time of you know all of this trauma from four years old, six to eight years old to 12 years old, I just became like a shell of a person like as my teenage years. I was so desperate for attention, for love, for affection, somebody to tell me that I was okay, that nothing was wrong with me that I started to look for, look for that in the wrong areas as a teenage girl, and there's some pretty crazy things that I did, like sneaking out of my house and running away and, you know, stuff that I should have never done, but through those things, I've learned my strength. Now that I look back on it, and I feel like all of those affected my mindset, and they affected my relationships, and it wasn't until about, I would say, nine years ago. So when I started changing my mindset, I was just coming out of an eight year very toxic marriage where my husband, at the time, was an alcoholic and addicted to Adderall and just it was very toxic, toxic scenario and situation. And I knew at that point I needed to make a change. I needed to make a change in how I responded to relationships and how who I let in my life. And I started to go to church. I started to read Scripture more. I started to really trying to focus on who I am. What is it that I want? Where am I going? I remember one day when, when it all snapped, I was in my closet. I was crying so hard, like, so hard that I literally defecated on myself in my closet. And I got up and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. And I'm like, How can I get to this point? How can I just cry myself to where I just my whole body just, like, loses control. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I have to make a change. And so that's when I started seeking out mentorship, and I started seeking out the strength in books, and looking for, where do I want some where do I want to be in life? I

want to cut in there when you say that there's not one person that I have talked to, that I've interviewed, that they do not remember that pivotal moment when they've had that awakening to awareness.

I had Gary 100% it's like a switch chains, it turns off and flips out. Yep, they know

right down to the second, and that moment was, and that all in itself, I'm gonna cry.

They know the feeling powerful thing that you will ever go through. Yep, it was, it really, really was like I can still feel that feeling that I felt that very day. I can still feel the the switch in my brain, how my heart felt. I feel every bit of it, it's it's exhilarating and it's scary at the same time,

yeah, and that's what makes you want to push forward even more. Mm, hmm, yeah,

I totally agree. So

what? What took place after that? Tanisha,

so I, I decided to make the change. I ended up getting a divorce, and shortly after that, I had met with my now husband, and I really feel like he was the the like, the gift that says, hey, you woke up now I'm going to bring somebody who really is going to give you love and joy in your life. And it wasn't easy, because we went through some challenging situations in the beginning of our relationship, because I brought a lot of that toxicity with me into the new relationship, and I had to learn to release it, but together, we learned how to release it together. And that is one of the biggest blessings I could say that I have in my life, is my my marriage today,

that's absolutely beautiful, and it's so funny when you had said that you had brought toxicity from one relationship into the next, but, you know, I hope that you are soft at yourself looking at that, because that was your normal for soulmate. That's what a lot of people need to understand is, you know, like, say, for example, for me, you know, like being in an abusive and addictive environment, that was my normal. So when I wasn't in it, I brought I wanted that I would create, that I created the chaos within my life for years, because that's what I was used to like, you know? Another simple example, we all have that one friend, or we all know that one person, no matter where they go, there's chaos, right? Or they create chaos. That's because that's their normal. They like that. They're used to that, right? And then, and that's, it's the same scenario. Mm, hmm. I

just those people that have that that create that chaos, or live in that chaos, and okay with it. I pray for them, because I feel like deep down inside, they really aren't that okay with it, but they don't know any different. That's exactly what they don't know, what they don't know.

Yeah, and they won't know the difference until they're actually totally step out of that environment, totally and completely. And they look at, they look at their life, at a totally different respect, a perspective which is also their awakening to awareness. So they're not there. They're not wearing

Right, exactly.

So looking back at your journey, we always, always, there's so many learning lessons, always good or bad. Through our experiences, but there's always one pivotal, one learning lesson that really stands out. What is it for you,

the choices that I make in life that was the biggest thing. There's a lot of choices that I made as a teenager, choices that I made as an adult. I feel like those choices are simple things like, how did I think about myself? Did I choose to think negative in myself? And there was times I did. I'm ugly, I'm fat. Nobody loves me. Nobody's ever cared about me. I've got this burn, you know, How is anybody ever going to look at me as a beautiful woman when I'm scarred, you know, how? How am I ever going to find anybody so I'll accept anything I get, because this is how I think of myself. So that was a choice. I chose to think that way about myself, and I've learned that those choices is what directed my path, and so now I choose differently. Now I look at myself and give myself affirmations. I am beautiful. I am beautifully made. The scar that they have that makes me who I am, that is solely what I was gifted with. I have stretch marks from having my kids. Those were a gift to me. Those are beautiful now I can wear a bikini, and I don't think twice about walking on a bathing suits. People seeing my scar, seeing my stretch marks, I don't it's if they what they think of me is none of my business. It's what I think of me, and that's my choice. And so I feel like I finally got my choices back to choose who I allow around my life that influences me, who I where I'm headed in my future, and who I think I am and what I think of myself as, along with my family.

One thing you know, going through that whole process, we do go through the state of being a victim. I was a victim for I looked at myself as a victim for, oh gosh, years and years. Finally it got to a point where it's like, no, I'm not there anymore. I have to stand up and I have to start to take responsibility for the actions that I did, too, right? And you know that's all a part of the healing, which is all a part of forgiveness and everything too, right? Now, when you talk about your story, you went to the aspect of the victimhood as well, too. And there are a lot of listeners out there that have grown up in an environment just like yours or just like mine, and they're still in that state of victimhood, right? That's just, that's just a natural thing for us, because we can't see past that, right? What advice would you give these individuals in regards to that area or another area that you might be able to help them with.

First thing I would say is do not pass blame on yourself. And if I know it's hard, it's really, really hard, but it's the most freeing thing you could ever do is learn to forgive. Yeah, when you learn to forgive, and you learn to not only forgive those that may have hurt you now you don't, don't, you'll never forget, and it doesn't mean that you ever have to talk to them and be a part of their lives ever again. But when you forgive and you forgive yourself, you free yourself to be able to open up to new journeys in life that could give you the happiness that you're you're desiring and needing. I know for me when I realized I was no longer a victim of my circumstances, and I was no longer a victim of what happened to me, it was the most freeing moment, because I also realized that now I'm no longer going to allow others to victimize me, because I know what I'm worth now, yeah,

and that's the biggest thing, is, once You get out of that victim mode, that's where you start to take control of your life. Mm, hmm. A lot of people, absolutely. Why? Why? Why don't I have control? Why can't I go forward? Why can't I do this? Really look back at your state of mind. Are you a victim? Are you blaming others? Right, right, exactly. So, where are you now? Tanisha, in your journey, there's a lot going on for you. So I want everybody to know, and what she's about to say is all going to be in the podcast. Notes,

there is some amazing things going on. I got chill bumps because I'm super excited. So I, first of all, I'm going to say this. It is because of the inspiration and the love that Shannan, you shared with me and told me that my story was so important. I was I was so scared to write a book. I was so scared to put that out there. And if it wasn't for you, Shannan, I wouldn't have. This, this freeing feeling that I have today, and these amazing things that are going on with me. And so I want to say thank you so much for what you've done for me. And so I have started reading my book. It's called Path of choices. It is written in a third party version. It's not me telling people things in my life, it's me telling a story about a writer who talks about her life and talks about her past, and she talks about and then when she walks away from her desk, she goes and talks to her husband, and she tells her story about how her and her husband met. And so you got two different stories going on in this book. And it's, it's a beautiful story. I go back and I reread it so that I can edit it a little bit, and I'm like, wow, who wrote this? So I'm super excited about it, because it's given me that freedom and joy in my life. And so I should be done with the book and have it published by the end of September. And it's just, it's something I've I never thought that I could ever do, and with the passion and love that Shannan has shared with me, I now see that it is something that's it's needed, and I'm looking at this book as something that's going to heal others. It's a healing book, and I'm excited to to hear other people's story and how it's going to help change their life. The other thing is, is that I have a website called healthy mindset miracles, and in my website, you will have access to my podcast. And as of July 23 of this year, I'm starting a six week manifest manifestation course. That's something I've studied and done and have been able to master myself manifest some things in my life that have been incredible. So those that course is pretty exciting for me because of the way that I'm putting it together, there's going to be homework and worksheets for people to to start manifesting amazing things in their life and getting their mind into a healthy mindset so that they can grow and become stronger in the future. And so I'm super excited about that. And you know, just just I told Shannan before we started, I had one of the most amazing things happened to me. Right before we got on here to record, I'd gotten an email that I've been waiting for for two years I've been manifesting this happening, and it's finally got the email after two years of manifesting this, and I can't talk about it until the paperwork is done, but I'm so excited, and it's just it's a beautiful thing so and I cannot wait to hear other people's stories of how their life is going to change.

Oh, goodness. Well, this was quite a cheerful one for me. So this was absolutely beautiful having you on Tanisha. And I want to thank you for sharing your story, and I want to thank you for being on this podcast, and definitely for being a part of my journey. So thank you so much for everything. I

love you dearly, and thank you so much for having me on here and giving me this opportunity to share. One of these days, I'm going to give you the biggest hug when I see you in person. No, I might squeeze you a little.

Well, I hope to be making it down to Florida, especially in the I've got a big tour coming up in the fall, and I'm not quite sure where my I know I'm going to be down in New York and all in there. So maybe I will be in Florida. I know I'm going to be in Phoenix as well, too. So maybe that will be added to my tour. I'm not sure, but you will be the first one to know when I do make it to Florida. For sure, I

would be so elated, and I'm looking forward to it. Yes.

Thank you very much, and blessings to you, and blessings to all my audience members. And if you like this podcast, please share with your friends and write a review, and have a great day, everybody.