We all perceive life differently. 

We all feel different emotions.

We all have different reactions to specific situations.

Take a moment and observe yourself and the people around you. 

Can you make space for others authentic expression. Can you listen without judging or projecting your experiences onto them?

How about the people around you. Can they hold space for you and your feelings ?

Are you feeling pathetic for how you feel at times?

Do you suppress strong emotions because you know you will not made feel validated but ridiculed and rejected?

Let’s dive into this very fascinating topic.

Reflect, observe, be aware , feel empowered to be authentic. 

With much respect for you and your journey 

Your coach 

Aurora

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your coach Aurora, i'm there to support

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you, if you feel you need a one on one session, you need to pour

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your heart out you need somebody to be accountable to, I'm there

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for you. And today I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you.

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And to talk about a validation, a feeling validated, you express

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something, a feeling, or you put it into words.

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And the person who's standing in front of you, this sharing the

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space with you just listens and hold space.

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They let you fully express

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how you feel inside,

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they listen to your thoughts.

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And, yeah, holding space is the big thing here.

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And

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to do this, it takes a lot of courage because at times,

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emotional reactions can be very strong. And you can really

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relate to why the person is suffering or feeling pain.

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But to remain calm, and to hold that space

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is so incredibly

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nurturing and healing.

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You are trustworthy. When you're able to hold space for the other

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person, you create a strong bond with that person.

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And the fun thing is that you don't even have to be close to

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that person that much you don't have to be in an intimate

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relationship or related like blood related can be a stranger.

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If you just hear him or her out.

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It has such a powerful healing effect on people.

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Needless to say that if you master holding space for another

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in an intimate relationship,

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if you can do that for your siblings, for your parents, for

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your children,

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you have the key

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to a very strong and

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content and deep, nourishing relationship.

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Now this is the ideal.

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And we don't grow up in ideal circumstances.

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I don't know about your experience, really. And I would

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love I'm burning to know what your experience is or was in the

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past. So please never hold back. Connect with me on Facebook,

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Aurora Eggert or Aurora Eggert coaching and share with me what

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your experiences are around this topic.

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We grew up in families where Yeah, people are busy to provide

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and have their own little problems or big problems. And

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then you come into the picture and

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have an emotional reaction to something that nobody really can

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relate to.

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And they don't know maybe you have been suffering for a long

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time. Maybe you've gone through stuff that you didn't really

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share with them. And now something happens that you react

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to very strongly

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and most of the time, yeah, people go through their own

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experience when they see somebody else suffering and they

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just think okay, well.

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This is not how I would have reacted like this is a little

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bit dramatic. This is a little bit too much.

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This is not how I would have reacted.

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So they operate only from their point of view

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and make you feel pathetic. And if there is several people

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around you in that moment, it's

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People make you feel pathetic about how you feel about how you

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react, you can very quickly

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excuse me,

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make the conclusion that you are indeed pathetic. And that you

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have to toughen up. And that you feelings, the way you perceive

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things and situations are not valid.

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Now, let that sit for a moment, if a little kid

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b be

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be the kid, six years old,

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the brain is still forming, the child is still

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making up what this world can be like and, you know, soaking

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everything up like a little sponge.

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That child will learn that his or her feelings are not valid.

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Now, what happens next?

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Next time, you have these feelings coming up, you suppress

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them.

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Because they're not valid, right? That's what you've

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learned. The reaction that we you will receive from the

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outside

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is going to be

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painful, and people are gonna reject you. So what smart to do

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here is to react, how you think the people around you would

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react. And then you don't stir anything up. You suppress

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everything that is coming up inside of you. You don't let it

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out.

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And you move on.

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Sorry, you move on.

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Toughen up.

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Fast forward 30 years, almost, she's fine fighting depression,

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or he has suicidal thoughts.

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Where's that coming from? On must be the video games are must

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be the friends that he's hanging out with?

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It must be the breakup that she went through a couple months

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back? No, no, no, no, no, that's not the case. The case is that

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you've learned that your emotions are not valid as

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expressing yourself is not

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worth the effort.

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So suppress. And those feelings are not dissolving. They are

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stuck in your system, in your nervous system, in your tissues

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of your body.

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Sickness is going to arise mental illness is going to arise

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when we are not free to express how we feel.

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So this episode is meant as a huge kick in the bum to you.

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If you ever think of suppressing how you feel, again, I want you

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to know that it has severe consequences, to not show or

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express yourself when you have strong feelings coming up. Now

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don't get me wrong. Sometimes it is aggression. Sometimes it is

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violence that come up. And we don't want to use that against

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other people. We want to find words, we found want to find a

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way to express these feelings in a way that it is authentic, but

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also in a way that people can listen. If they really care

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about you. And you're not harming anybody or yourself.

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Right. Sometimes the feelings are so strong, that we want to

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destroy that we want to harm that we want to be violent.

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But that is a point where you have to find someone to talk to

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and dig deeper. That is not what we want to bring out. That is

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not what we want to

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express violence, but we want to express it in a way that it is

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more digestible for other people. Right.

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How validated Do you feel

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by the people that you surround yourself with,

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to feel like you can be yourself and express yourself and cry

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when something is sad for you. Be angry when something is

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upsetting for you laugh out loud when something is funny, or have

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you learned that it is not okay.

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And another thing to mention here is that maybe you've been

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surrounded

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by people in the past that didn't allow it that punished

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you for expressing yourself. And now you are with a new Wolfpack.

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But you're still suppressing your feelings. Because this is

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what you've learned, then this episode is here for you. And I'm

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there for you as a coach to help you and dig these feelings again

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and to be more you

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to be fearlessly you.

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And the people around you, who love you who truly cherish you

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will be so Okay, will be so grateful, will be so

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appreciative to see what's going on inside of you. Because this

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is the beauty of each human being. This is the beauty of

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humanity, that we are all so different, that we perceive all

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so different, that we have emotions and reactions that are

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very different to others. And that is okay.

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We need to not only learn to express ourselves more

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authentically, but also watch ourselves

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how we react to others. Can we hold space for another? When we

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feel like Oh man, that's this dramatic. Oh man, this is not

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really as sad as this person makes it out to be? Yes, it is.

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It is valid. And be curious. Ask questions. And you will see how

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it opens up that person and how you can deeply connect to that

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person.

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I'm gonna let you go for now and I'm very excited to connect with

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you and be there for you again on Thursday.

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take really good care of yourself. You are so loved. You

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are so appreciated. You are so needed on this beautiful planet

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Earth and selling my love out to you. Until next time, bye bye