Dr. Alison Miller is my guest today on The Courage of a Leader podcast. You’ll really enjoy Alison’s practical, compassionate, caring, and brilliantly resourceful guidance for getting things done.

And, Alison knows what she’s talking about! She has built 3 businesses from the ground up, and put her on guidance to the test and into practice every day.

About the Guest:

Alison Miller is a clinical psychology PhD and entrepreneur who has built three successful businesses from the ground up, most notably The Dissertation Coach. Founded in 2000, The Dissertation Coach has helped thousands of graduate students finish their doctoral dissertations and master's theses.

Alison is also the author of Finish Your Dissertation Once and For All: How to Overcome Psychological Barriers, Get Results, and Move on with Your Life, published in 2009 by the American Psychological Association. She is a founding member and global Partner of Tiara International, a company dedicated to meaningful women’s leadership and transformation. Her latest business endeavor, The Academic Writers’ Space (TAWS) is an online coworking community designed for academics to get real work done in a supportive, kind, and nurturing environment.

When she’s not running her multiple businesses and following her passion of helping others succeed, Alison is enjoying life with her husband, two children, and dogs in California.

https://www.thedissertationcoach.com/

https://www.tiaraleadership.com/

https://theacademicwritersspace.com/

About the Host:

Amy L. Riley is an internationally renowned speaker, author and consultant. She has over 2 decades of experience developing leaders at all levels. Her clients include Cisco Systems, Deloitte and Barclays.

As a trusted leadership coach and consultant, Amy has worked with hundreds of leaders one-on-one, and thousands more as part of a group, to fully step into their leadership, create amazing teams and achieve extraordinary results. 

Amy’s most popular keynote speeches are:

The Courage of a Leader: The Power of a Leadership Legacy

The Courage of a Leader: Create a Competitive Advantage with Sustainable, Results-Producing Cross-System Collaboration

The Courage of a Leader: Accelerate Trust with Your Team, Customers and Community

The Courage of a Leader: How to Build a Happy and Successful Hybrid Team

Her new book is a #1 international best-seller and is entitled, The Courage of a Leader: How to Inspire, Engage and Get Extraordinary Results.

www.courageofaleader.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyshoopriley/

Link mentioned in the podcast

The Inspire Your Team assessment (the courage assessment): https://courageofaleader.com/inspireyourteam/

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Teaser for next episode

Tune in next for “The Impact of the 3Ws: Conversations that Guarantee Meaning, Productivity and Legacy” with Dan Meek. Conversations are the vehicle through which we get things done, build relationships and navigate our world. They are critically important, and we can make our conversations more meaningful and impactful. Dan talks to us about how!

Dan is the Chief Executive Officer at LIW - A global leadership consultancy on a mission to democratize leadership by helping people and organizations to build and be a part of awesome teams.

Dr. Allison Miller is my guest today. I'm glad you're here to listen because you'll really enjoy Allison's practical, compassionate, caring and brilliantly resourceful guidance for getting things done. And Allison knows what she's talking about. She has built three businesses from the ground up, and puts her own guidance to the test and into practice every day.

Welcome to the Courage of a Leader podcast. This is where you hear real life stories of top leaders achieving extraordinary results. And you get practical advice and techniques, you can immediately apply for your own success. This is where you will get inspired. And take bold, courageous action. I'm so glad you can join us. I'm your host, Amy Riley. Now, are you ready to step into the full power of your leadership and achieve the results you care about most? Let's ignite the courage of a leader.

Allison, we all know that since the pandemic has happened, a lot of workers now have more choice as to where they're we're where they will work. How we work has shifted. And it's invited many of us to think more intentionally about how do I work? Where do I work? Maybe even when do I work? And how does that feel for me? And how does that work with the holistic view of everything that I have in my life? So I'm super excited to be talking today about how does one work in a way that works for them. I want to start off by asking you when you're supporting someone to work in a way that works for them. What are all the considerations? What might that encompass? Yeah, well,

I think there's fundamentally two main considerations that are connected to what I even mean when I say work in a way that works. Because ultimately, working in a way that works can only be defined by each unique individual from inside of them. It's not something that I can say and map on to someone. But there are kind of two main guidelines, two main considerations and is one is the way that I'm working, producing the kinds of results that I want Am I able to reasonably reliably follow through on what I said I was going to do and move my attention, my energy, my effort in directions, that make a difference that serve a purpose that create outcomes that are satisfactory for me in terms of my ability to actually take action, and, and have results that I want. So that works because you're able to reliably produce results. And I think this time of pandemic is really interesting, because for so many people all of a sudden, the intensity of their lives of you know, commuting and going out to dinner and having all these appointments and running around. When all of a sudden we came home. What many of us recognized is you know what, that wasn't working for me. But until it got quiet, it's like we've been walking around like a snow globe constantly in a snow like a snow globe, it was always shaken. And the pandemic forced us all to stop in this when the snow starts to settle people's minds and sort of hearts and bodies started going, Oh, this feels better. And so the other part of working in a way that works is really about working in a way that is actually sustainable. Human being whatever that means for each unique individual, working in a way that is honoring of the fact that you're not a robot, you're not a machine. You are a human being who has very real, physical, emotional, psychological, relational, and spiritual needs. And it's really easy to work in ways that are more driven by stress and overwhelm. Hurry up. Let's get it done. Panem here, where we use a lot of our protective strategies to try to get through the day. Yeah, no, it's not very satisfying and it it doesn't really work in the long run. So I'm talking about the consideration of both producing results but also working in a way that is honoring of the human In doing the work, so that it is actually sustainable for people over time.

This is a great and powerful framing of this. Allison, I love that we're working in a way that reliably produces results, right? It's creating that momentum in thought and action, and result. And yeah, the pandemic, I love your analogy of the snow globe. Right? It, we realized we were making so many assumptions about how it had to be. And now we can look at what allows us to thrive rather than just survive and get through that day and get through that commute. So yeah, what reliably produces results? And what is sustainable for you as a human being. And you said something else that was really critical. This is for each of us to define for us. Love it. So how do we make sure that we're working in a way that reliably produces results and is sustainable for us as a human being?

Well, I think one really good guideline to look for is how is the quality of my life? Right? You know, how am I How am I? How am I in relationship to my work, or the ways that I'm engaging with my work, supporting me to show up and be present and do what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it, a decent amount of the time, are the ways that I'm working. kind to the human that's doing the work. Let me give you an example. I have a lot of meetings. And so whenever I have meetings planned, you will also see in my planner, separate time set aside to plan for the meeting. Nice. Because when I show up to the meeting, and I've really thought about what's the purpose of the meeting, particularly if I'm if I'm the leader of the meeting, or in contributing to the meeting, in a position where I am the leader of the meeting, what is the agenda? How do I want people to feel at this meeting? Where do I want to source myself from that preparation work that I do separate from the actual meeting greatly increases the odds that the meeting is going to be successful and help produce outcomes and move in directions? Have me and others move in directions and take actions that make a difference? I'm also connecting with myself, and how do I want to show up and be with people in a way that is supportive of them in their nervous systems and their well being and their quality of life. And my own. If I have projects to work on, that require finding things to do them, I have learned that it's very unkind, to expect myself to find things in order to do things. So this is an example of learning how to work in a way that works. I'm when I do very careful planning, and I invest a lot of time in planning. This is another core aspect of working in a way that works for people who have a lot going on, we actually need more time, we could talk about that later on the podcast building infrastructure. But a key piece of that infrastructure for me is recognizing when I'm going to be working on a project that requires me to have physical and digital items to do it. So get those things out in a folder setup on my computer ahead of time. So that it's like I'm parking the car on a bit of a downhill slope. It's called Environmental alignment, where I'm aligning my physical and digital environment to make it easier for the person who shows up later to do the work to just get going rather than having to figure out where everything is. I even will sometimes write down an opening task, what's the opening task to do? Warm up activity, which can help me enter when I feel resistant to doing anything I said I was going to do previously in the plan.

Nice. Alison, I want to underscore repeat the inquiries that we can ask ourselves, you know, to know that to know and to find our best ways to operate in a way that really works for us. Are we showing up present, right and we're able to be present with the people that we're meeting with and talking through talking with and being with throughout the day? Are we meeting our commitments, predictably reliably most of the time? Are we operating in ways that are kind to ourselves? A to those around us as well? And are we producing outcomes? Right is the activity driving towards what we want to create in the world? And I'm seeing as we are in these inquiries, it's going to raise our self awareness. Because as you were giving your example of scheduling time making sure there's space to prep in the ways that you want to write, that's a great self awareness that you have about what's going to work for you in prepping and finding and gathering what you need. I mean, that sounds like that allows you to show up and be present. That's kind to yourself. So right, it's going to help produce outcomes.

And my attention can't be everywhere. And there we have a chronic illusion as human beings that we can multitask much more effectively than we actually can. Mm hmm. Yeah. And that whatever we're trying to accomplish whatever outcomes we're trying to produce whatever, humans we're interacting with the people and the work in a sense, what they want from us is they want us they want a more unified version of us, not a version where our attention is divided over a large surface area, because then our potency, our presence is diluted.

Yes, yes. Terrific. Allison, let me tell listeners more about you. Allison Miller is a clinical psychology PhD and entrepreneur who has built three successful businesses from the ground up, most notably the dissertation coach. Founded in 2000, the dissertation coach has helped 1000s of graduate students finish their doctoral dissertations and master's thesis. Allison is the author of finish your dissertation once and for all, how to overcome psychological barriers, get results and move on with your life love that title, published back in 2009 by the American Psycho Psychological Association. She's a founding member and global partner of Tierra International, which means Allison is a business partner of mine, because the courage of a leader and to our international partner orphan and Tierra is a company dedicated to meaningful women's leadership and transformation. Her latest business endeavor, the academic writers space, is an online co working community designed for academics, to get real work done in a supportive, kind, and nurturing environment. Thank you for being here for this conversation. Allison, I love this, we're talking about how to be more effective, be more efficient, and enjoy the process.

And it's not easy, because a lot of what we're tasked with doing is hard, we often are asked to do things that we have to be asked to do things that we don't know how to do and do them anyway. And there. It's so easy, you know, text messages, social media, email, voicemails, endless things to do with where the to do list seems to sometimes grow rather than shrink in a given day. And I think that this time of, you know, coming through this pandemic, first of all, was a time it was very, very hard on our executive functioning skills, you know, our ability to really manage our own resources and manage our attention and, and work in a way that was effective, I think, was actually harmed by the pandemic, and we're in recovery mode. We are wanting, I think so many of us are really longing to have our work have meaning for us to feel that we know how to navigate through all the different things that we that we do. And we're not really ever taught that, you know, we don't college or in grad school or even in work environments, we're often not given enough support around how do I work in a way that really works for me as a unique individual living in a unique context? And what does that even mean for me, you know, I would encourage all the listeners to think about and to journal about what is working in a way that work that works for me, no.

And in Alison, would you say, that's a good, you mentioned infrastructure. And you also talked about all of these different platforms and technologies that are now creating sorts of inboxes. For us, I remember when I felt like I had one inbox, right one email inbox, and now I have multiple, multiple, multiple ways that to dues, tasks, ideas, projects, opportunities can come my way. Is that where is that where we start to start looking at like, what's working?

Well, yeah, I think I think that one way to think of the same me is that working in a way that works one thing that it really does require is Two systems for tracking what's going on all the to dues and all the things, all the moving pieces, I think one thing that's happening to us is that we're overusing our brains to track. That's not wise, because we're not very good as human beings at being able to distinguish the difference between a thought of something that needs to be done that emerges into our consciousness, and an emergency task. And when we're relying on our brains to try to remember all the to dues, like all the plates are spinning in our mind, when something emerges into our consciousness, it often triggers a sense of, ah, I don't want to forget to do that. And so with me, you know what I'll just do, I'll just do it right now. And that's not wise, because we were doing something else. And we're not really prepared to do the other thing. And the not having an infrastructure, which I'll describe what I mean by that, yeah, leaves us really vulnerable to our reactive stressed out, overworked, under slept. That kind of functioning, maybe not functioning as well as you'd like it to be like that version of us can start to take over and dictate how we approach our work. And then we're not really in charge of ourselves anymore. In many ways, working in a way that works for me is really about self governance. Nice, clean a sovereign being who is like, Wait, how do I want to consciously design, how I go through my day, how I work? What is the one thing is what is the infrastructure that I need? And I'll describe it kind of briefly, I mean, look for hours about this, but the way that I teach infrastructure is kind of like, it's sort of like five steps. Okay, the fifth step recently, step number one is a life inventory. So a little bit like what I can't remember that maybe David Allen from getting things done, he calls it a mind sweep. Yeah, it's where you document across all the different domains of your life, right household, maybe children, different projects that you have, like me, you'd have your podcast, but you also have your coaching and you have your leadership development work and work that you might do specifically with tiara, you have all these different domains, right? You have managing kids in schools and signing papers and checks for, you know, whatever donations, there's so many pieces in our lives. What's for dinner? Yeah, oh, the car needs an oil change. Has anyone picked up the stuff from the lawn? You know, from the laundry? You know, oh, the fridge is on the fritz? Did he pay the mortgage, what's going on with my mom, or who have millions of moving pieces. And so when we can kind of get that out of our heads onto paper in domains, it can be very helpful for us to ongoingly track the different moving pieces. And then during the week, we remind ourselves, when we notice ourselves doing excess of external tracking in our minds to say, I'm working with a life inventory. Now, I'm going to reclaim my attention and energy from thinking about that. We can keep a parking lot where we document things that come into our mind and then let them go. That life inventory, the second step is to look at the upcoming week. And to clarify your priorities. This is where you're saying out of the totality of the life inventory. What am I using to move to the foreground for the next seven days? Now, it could be a different length of time. But for most people, a general rule of about seven days is enough. What am I choosing to do and of course, in the in that life inventory, it might be helpful to rough in the states will be done by the end of February. This is by the end of the march. Okay, that's but then we're really choosing because we this is where we're saying to ourselves, what am I doing and what am I not doing? And so that when you find yourself doing things that are not on the priority list, you can check in with yourself. Is this now on the priority list? And I never moved it up? Or am I actually as my stress as my anxiety is my whatever, something that's not the most conscious part of me taken possession of me and actually just making decisions for me, the clarifying priorities is really connected to this. I am a sovereign being who is thoughtfully consciously choosing out of all the to dues that are possible. What am I declaring I'm gonna commit my energy, my attention, my focus my time to this week, so we've narrowed the field. Love it. And once you've clarified the priorities, step number three is to actually make a conscious plan. And a conscious conscious planning is essentially planning the day to day reality. And some people might feel a bit constrained by this. So do this in a way that serves you. When you're someone like me, who has an enormous amount going on right now. Yeah, I have to really plan out the flow of the entire day. So I kind of went out the week and I start filling it in more because no new appointments new Things come up. But I've created vision for aware of some of these projects that aren't client facing that don't that when they don't involve another person, it's really easy to put them off. Yes. Where when am I doing these projects? And where am I really saying I'm going to protect time for these. So I'm thinking through a plane up sorry, not a plane, a plan that honors the reality of being a human being that I, I often say this is about planning, firmly grounded in reality, honoring yourself as a human that planning that's in a way that's sustainable for you. Because what a lot of times what we do when we're planning and we're anxious about how we're going to get everything done, is we start to plan for the cartoon version of ourselves, or the version of ourselves where it would Yeah, like, theoretically, could you follow this plan? Theoretically, like, reality of you didn't sleep? Well, last night, you had an argument with your spouse, and it's still in your body? You're a little under the weather, something, something happened that requires emergency attention that really does you do need to turn your attention that you hadn't planned on? had a bout of procrastination? Who knows? Because stressing news? Yeah, yeah, the version of us who's showing up to execute that plan is rarely the version we imagined. We tend to plan for that more heroic version of ourselves. This Is Us being more boots on the ground and reality. And so for example, if you're, you know, you've got a meeting, that's kind of intense for you on a Wednesday afternoon, think about what you're you might give yourself some space afterwards, I plan to half an hour after this podcast, to just kind of let myself you know, see what's going on and get oriented to the rest of the day. I see as opposed to jamming right into the next thing. But that's not always possible. I often back to back, when I plan time, like recurring appointments. Because by the way, I want to say something email, yeah, mail work. And what a lot of us are doing is we're pretending like emails, this thing that you just do in the cracks of the day, and we don't set aside any time for it. It's really, really stressful for humans to not have time set aside to deal with email, especially if you have a high email load. Plan is giving me sort of a vision of, I'm going to get up, I'm going to work out I mean, I write down everything, I'm taking a shower, I write down, if I have a goal around like, I want to drink lemon water, whatever that is, right, I want to really I want to, I want to be at my desk by 9am. So what needs to happen before then, planning time to step out and reset, I have learned is essential, because when I just go from one thing to the next and don't catch my breath, my nervous system, a more dysregulated version of my nervous system starts to take charge of me and I become a poor boundary holder, and a poor decision maker. Yeah, just want to get a bunch of little quick emails done as quickly as possible, which is and that actually further agitates my system. And the actual projects I want to work on and move forward aren't getting a regulated version of me, they're getting in this regular version of me.

Allison, you're giving us so many great concrete examples of what could be in step three, the conscious plan is this also where we would create time for unexpected things that come up? I know a lot of us have jobs have work to do, where we can plan and be proactive, and, you know, say know how 70% of our days are going to go. But then there's stuff that comes up from clients from co workers, right that were that were not expecting? Yeah, yeah. All of a sudden, something gets dropped in. Are we are we putting that in our conscious plan?

i If especially if you're someone where that's likely to happen, it is a good idea to have sort of some catch up time or yeah, just have more breathing room where there's space for you to deal with things. I mean, it's it is challenging, you know, yeah. When you first make your plan and it's all clean and pristine, and you haven't it hasn't actually unfolded in reality yet. It's like, it's like this beautiful clean snow.

Yeah,

you feel optimistic. I've got it. Yeah. You know what happens when you live somewhere where it snows in the coming days? Dogs walk through it and pee all over it. People stomp on and it gets all slushy and black and gray and icy and it's yucky, right? Yes. So that's what happens. We make this beautiful, pristine plan and then we get an email and a dog just peed on our plan and does not imagine which I'm going to come back to actually Amy with step number five in this. So one now this is a key piece once you figured out the plan for the week. Yeah. And I think it is a good idea to build in some time for, you know, like, just that extra time in case things spill over.

Well, yeah. And I've told people like, you know, is the thing that get dropped? That gets dropped in gonna happen exactly when you've scheduled time for dropping? Probably not. But then you've got some time to work with, right? And then making some adjustments isn't as daunting.

Yeah. And be thoughtful about what's the human going into that meeting going to need, you know what you can walk out 15 minutes before, can you shut down your email? Once you have that plan, and this is a really critical step, step number four, and I learned this from a great book called willpower doesn't work, can't remember the environmental alignment. So environmental alignment is about curating your physical and digital environment. So that what you need to do, what you plan to do, is readily available. And the reason environmental alignment is so powerful important is because our environments have a profound impact on our behavior, yet, we're not very good at perceiving, we don't we don't realize how powerful it is. So here's an example of environmental alignment. Sometimes I go through a season of life where I could just feel like my body, I wouldn't be served if I lose a certain kind of smoothie that I make. Okay, I struggle to get myself to do it consistently. So this is what I've been doing lately. And it really helps. I have these pretty decent sized Tupperware as I have a whole bunch of them. Yep, for three days at a time, I will put all the fruits and vegetables into the Tupperware that are going to go into the smoothie. And I have frozen stuff that's in the freezer that I just pull out, right, it's ready to dump. I look at my to do list and I say do I have what I need? Do I know the passwords for that file? Or that program? Where are the documents? Do I have a version control problem? What where and I have an electronic labeler. And I have folders, I really try to keep all these different domains in different folders. So today, I'm going to go to a coffee shop and work on a project need for that is in the folder. And yesterday, I took a look at it to remind myself of what am I working on? And I'll have to find it. And next thing I know it's half an hour after I said I was going to be at the coffee shop. Because I was trying to find it right. Yeah. So. So that environmental alignment, what it's doing is it's, it's in a way, it's almost like we're starting the behavior a little bit, right, I already started the act of making that smoothie, it's in my fridge. And just that kind of it's almost like a I close out the night by looking at or close that my day, I should say, by looking at what I'm doing tomorrow. And then every so the fifth step is every 24 hours, I would do kind of I call this process by the way, a reset. Okay. All five steps. The fifth step is really doing the mini reset. This is where we and we say okay, how did today go? What is leftover from the day? Where is that going to now get planned. And we're we're tweaking and reconfiguring our plan based on how we intersected with the reality, which is what you were talking about right now the reality isn't what we always expect. So now we intersected with it. And now we were planning on going like this, but now we've got to change a little bit. So we're modifying the plan, and then doing a little quick environmental alignment of do I have everything I need? I'm gonna need tomorrow, how can I make this physical and digital environment ripe for me to come in and engage? You know, and when you do that every 24 hours, it's it's I honestly think that this process of the entire process, actually, of setting this infrastructure is profoundly kind to the future. You're the future human who's going to show up and be tasked with executing upon this plan. Because the version of you who shows up might not be in the best mood.

I love how you talk about alignment, Allison and I know your selection of that word is really intentional. And you're like we're either moving towards or out of alignment. Right? So it's a constant inquiry. What do I need? What's going to work? Right? Is the chair going to be comfortable? Right or I know you're sitting on the floor right now.

Right in my meditation cushion. Yeah, right. We meditate regularly but I do own a cushion.

Right and you knew that was going to work well for you in did in recording this podcast episode, but it's but it's kind. It's a kind way of thinking about how am I prepping and preparing and moving through my day. Am I moving too? towards or away from alignment, and then constantly looking at what's working. Because I know I have gotten some things about my infrastructure set in ways that felt like they worked really well. But then a different kind of project was thrown in or, you know, my parents needed more support or something shifted. And then I gotta read look at what's working. So this idea that it's a, it's a constant inquiry and a constant resets.

It is, it's dynamic. And it's a lot like balance, we don't arrive somewhere. We're always having to work with the unfolding reality of our lives. And I think that's a big part of what working in a way that working is about me, I want to make sure that I talk about compatibility. So we have space for that.

Yes. Yeah, let's do. Let me let me recap the five steps so that listeners are tracking. It's the life inventory, you might capture that by domains, you might capture that in some kind of, you know, loose timeframes. And then what are the priorities? Often for folks, that's the for the week, that could be a starting point duration, then it's your conscious plan. Then it's environmental alignment. And then mini reset, and I'm hearing the recommendation is for that daily, right, start with start with that cadence.

Your day off, you don't need you don't have to do that can be really helpful. Yeah, terrific. Okay. Compatibility, compatibility. So this is something that's a, I think, a really important reframe. That can make a big difference. So what is happening in reality is that we have intentions, we have a plan, we have goals, whatever for the day. Yeah. And then there's a version of us that shows up to perform. Yep. And most of us have kind of a continuum of versions of ourselves that show up. Yes, sometimes we might show up where we're, like ready to go, we're motivated, we're engaged. We're, for some, for reasons that we might not even fully know, we're our ability to concentrate and focus and take action is pretty good. Yep. Sometimes we show up. And it's like, we're like walking through molasses. So we feel like we're in quicksand. And there's so much resistance, or we sometimes we're so overwhelmed by how much we have to do. And this system is regulated in a way where it's hard to settle down and be embodied in a way where you really can work effectively. It's really a this is a spectrum. It's not binary, okay, we're either kind of compatible, like moving in the direction anyway, we're like, compatible with doing what we said we're going to do. And following our plan, we're compatible with working in a way that works, or we're not. And every human being is going to fluctuate in the level of compatibility. Right? That they have. So like, sometimes, if I've gotten a received a provocative email that has activated my nervous system, truth is when I'm in that state, I am not compatible with responding wisely. Okay, yep. So being able to recognize that as we move through our day, we are moving in and out of compatibility with with almost anything, by the way, for example, there are times where we are not compatible with Rails relating to other human beings effectively. And being able to know that being able to say to a partner, for example, you know, I need I need 10 minutes, I really want to just kind of settle my system, my system down, like if the snowglobe has been shaken, it's time to do something that's delicate, or really requires a lot of thought, yeah, that's good to know. Oh, I'm not actually that compatible with doing this. There's a couple things I want to say about that. One is that when we are struggling to work in a way that works, it's very easy for a negative internal dialogue to get activated. You know, the inner critic will move to the ground and start being like, what's wrong with you? Why are you so lazy? To be able to do this, like we start being critical of ourselves and frustrated with ourselves?

Why can't you stick to the plan today?

Yeah, exactly. So we started get kind of caught in this, this sense of like, something's wrong with me this compatibility is pointing to internal. Yeah, right. Hold on a minute. I here's the plan. I said I was going to do this. But wait a minute, what version of me is here? How do I find myself? What am I and it's a process of really dropping our eyes inside ourselves to be able to observe the quality of thinking, the emotional landscape, the pattern of sensation moving through the body, and other patterns of behavior. Your that tend to unfold out of certain emotional and cognitive and sort of physiological state. So for example, procrastination and avoidance, when we're in certain states, the behavior of avoidance is much more likely than if I was in a more say, calm or serene, or more regulated or more focused state. So I think we can let go of this idea of, of whether I'm adequate or not. Forget that. Yeah. Okay. Really about let me track myself inside and see, what's the weather in here? Like, yes, this version of me compatible with that I said I was going to do if it isn't, it's not compatible. This is actually good news that you know, this, it's not a problem. It's, it's an opportunity to say, either, do I? Is there something that I can do to support this version of me? Do I need to cry? Yeah, do I need to have a call with somebody? Do I need to get up and go outside and get fresh air? I could do some environmental alignment and get everything I need to do it. But I'm not going to do the thing yet. You know what, I think I could just brainstorm some key points. That's what I feel like I can do right now. Great. So now you've taken action, you get to have the experience of like, Oh, I am doing something. And that can start to increase the compatibility? Ah, so far, it may not. Yeah. But I think the bottom line is, if we working in a way that works requires awareness, awareness of what what it what is it that I need to do, we have to attract that and have some kind of system other than using our brains to track and then being able to track ourselves? Where am I in this time, space reality? What's going on with me? And if I look at the work and the version of me who's here, I can continually evaluate, oh, I'm just not compatible. No wonder why this isn't going? Well, because it's a compatibility issue. Not an adequacy issue.

I love that framing Allison, it's another kind and humane framing. It's not that I suck today, or I'm doing badly, right, I'm not compatible with the plan that I put together. And I also as you were talking, I could see for myself, it would take me out of the all or nothing thinking, right? I either have got to follow this plan that I created for the day, or it's all out the window. Yeah, and I love your final underscore of the awareness, and just how important it can be to check in with ourselves multiple times a day. How am I doing? How's the alignment? How's the compatibility? What do I need right now?

Yeah, then you in a way, you become your own guide, your own teacher, your own parent, who's helping yourself really lead. And this takes a lot of courage, it really does to to begin to listen to yourself in this way. And Honor, this is a self honoring way of working, where we can be in an inquiry ongoingly about like, well, what, what is the current version of me? Who's here compatible with? How do I move myself forward into that, and when you when you are in this inquiry, you start to observe and notice all kinds of things that you've been doing, in some cases, in my case, for decades, yeah, that are like, well, that is not efficient. Our bodies are giving us so much information about whether we are working in a way that's working. And it's hard to hear when we're willing to stipulate it and racing and multitasking and doing a million things. And the beautiful thing about this is that this path, this this path that I'm describing of, of engaging with work, it's really a spiritual path. It's a path to waking up and being more present, being kinder, being more loving, being more compassionate, and softening inside yourself and realizing that harder and faster are actually not effective, softer and slower. You actually ended up being much more efficient and working much more effectively. You know, it's like getting into a sailboat instead of a speedboat.

And we've been talking about work, but of course, this applies to all realms of our life. So much practical guidance you've given us today, Allison, in a way to think about this differently, and how we can work in a way that really works for us as a human being. Thank you so much for the time today.

Oh, you're so welcome. I just want everyone who's listening to know it is your birthright. It's your birthright to be able to work in a way that really works for you.

Lovely, thank you, Alison.