On today’s episode of Doing Divorce Different, I have Divorce Goddess, Tosh Brittan joining me. Tosh is such a bright light and I really enjoyed my conversation with her learning about what led her down the path of divorce coaching and her advice on choosing yourself. Tosh discusses how to create a choice of empowerment during divorce by being your own lighthouse. She talks about how cold plunging has helped her build her resilience, and finally what it’s like to be an empty nester. Tosh shares so many amazing nuggets during this episode, so make sure to tune in!
In this episode:
[2:14] What led Tosh down her path of work? [6:10] Did Tosh’s ex spouse want to go through their divorce the same way she did? [8:16] How to create a choice of empowerment in your divorce. [15:16] What about when you are going through divorce with a narcissist or abuser? [18:33] Tosh discusses her cold plunges and how they’ve helped her build resilience. [25:32] How has Tosh dealt with being an empty-nester? [31:48] Why is writing out your feelings so purposeful and why does it work?
Key Takeaways:
You have a choice, you can be in your lighthouse, be in power, do the work on yourself, or you can be a person who gets drawn down and gets lost in the mess and drama. You get to choose where you are coming from regardless of where your ex-spouse is coming from. Kindness is clever because you are taking ownership. Change the mindset from kindness being weak to being something you own. Be a better person. Your actions will speak and you’ll feel better about yourself, rather than stooping to their level of negativity. When becoming an empty-nester, explore who you are, what do you like about yourself? Self care is so important. There are four things that you can do if you are feeling lonely that will make you feel better.
Quotes:
“If you come from an authentic, honest, kind, place with yourself your operating at a really high vibration, authenticity is the highest vibration we can offer and operate from, and what we can do is be there for ourselves. And what I realized is when I didn't look after myself I got myself into a bit of a state.” - Tosh Brittan
Guest Bio:
Tosh Brittan has been a thought changer around divorce since 2014. Believing in a more integrated approach to this difficult, painful, and challenging life event.
As a divorce coach, MBSR mindfulness teacher and Reiki master teacher Tosh’s client work focuses on emotional and mental well-being and she has created her unique divorce coaching brand - Kindness for Conflict®.
Her blog began in 2014 at her kitchen table, to emotionally and mentally support others going through divorce. In 2019 she started the Divorce Goddess podcast (which ranked #41 in the US and #16 UK Relationship charts).
The @divorcegoddess Instagram page is a testament to others seeking a kinder approach to divorce, with many positive, inspiring messages sent from followers worldwide.
Her book Kindness for Conflict is out January 2023 and she co-authored #1 Amazon Best Seller Category Personal Health Mindfulness for Challenging Times with Shamash Alidina and Ceremonies - The Art of Ritual Living with Holistic Fashionista and is a columnist for Expert Magazine.
Tosh loves cold water swimming and often takes a client for their first dip experience! Loves dancing (ex-clubber at heart) and is an empty nester Mum of two young amazing adults. She lives near the South Downs, Hampshire.
Resources:
The Divorce Goddess Resources
Kindness for Conflict by Tosh Brittan
Lesa Koski Website
Lesa’s Online Courses
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