Making a Difference in Mental Health with Chad Dunlap
Episode 9917th August 2023 • Construction Disruption • Isaiah Industries
00:00:00 01:02:11

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“I want to be known, so when people look back on what I’ve done, I’ve been there when they needed it the most. And that is why we’re here. We’re here to make a difference in other people’s lives.”

Chad Dunlap, Public Speaker at Upshift with Chad, Business Development Manager with Frost Roofing

Suicide is a dire problem in today’s society, especially in construction. Mental health often goes undiscussed, and issues go untreated as we seek to ‘fix things’ ourselves. Chad Dunlap’s best friend committed suicide, and now Chad has made it his mission to help bring awareness to this growing issue.

Through his organization Upshift with Chad, he’s been able to reach schools, police departments, businesses, and audiences of varying ages on the importance of addressing mental health. Although it can be a taboo subject, Chad spreads a message of understanding and openness, encouraging people to open up and take these issues seriously.

Topics discussed in this interview:

- Chad’s responsibilities at Frost Roofing

- Frost Roofing’s collaborations with Isaiah Industries

- Chad’s life story and an inciting incident that changed his life

- How did Chad react to losing his best friend?

- Fostering a conversation on mental health

- Tough guys need help too

- Public speaking through Upshift with Chad

- Self-talk’s powerful effects

- Who is this message for?

- Giving back to those in need

- Employee resources to know about

- Rapid fire questions


Reach out to Chad at upshiftwithchad@gmail.com or give him a call at 419-204-0921. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help.


This episode of Construction Disruption is sponsored by TrueLook, the easiest way to view, secure, and document your jobsite. Get your free, no obligation quote at TrueLook.com.


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This episode was produced by Isaiah Industries, Inc.



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Transcripts

Todd Miller:

:

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Todd Miller:

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Ryan Bell:

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Intro/Outro:

:

Welcome to the Construction Disruption podcast, where we uncover the future of design, building, and remodeling.

Todd Miller:

:

I'm Todd Miller of Isaiah Industries, a manufacturer of specialty metal roofing and other building materials. Today, my co-host is Ryan Bell. Ryan, how are you today?

Ryan Bell:

:

Hey, good morning, Todd. I'm doing great. How are you?

Todd Miller:

:

Doing well also, here on a Friday as we're recording, so.

Ryan Bell:

:

It's been a short week because this is the 4th of July week where we celebrated the 4th of July. And I actually have a 4th of July/patriotic joke to share really quick before we start. Do you know why there's no knock knock jokes about America?

Todd Miller:

:

I do not know why there are no knock knock jokes about America.

Ryan Bell:

:

Because freedom rings.

Todd Miller:

:

Freedom rings. That's pretty awesome, I like that.

Ryan Bell:

:

Yeah.

Speaker:

:

That's a good one.

Ryan Bell:

:

That's all I have for today.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, it's a good start. Well, thank you. So let's just dive right in. I think we have a very special episode scheduled today here on Construction Disruption. You know, most episodes we're talking about and looking ahead at disruptive technologies, products, practices in construction and also in design. But today, we're taking a little bit different approach to this idea of what disruption is. And instead we're talking about something that really impacts our industry at what appears to be a rather inordinate rate. Very serious subject today. So there was a study done a few years ago that looked at what industries had people in them who committed suicide the most often based upon the industry that they worked in. And the interesting thing was, and this particular study, and it was done about, I think 2016 in this particular study for men, the number one industry folks were coming from who took their own lives was the construction industry. And for me, I think for anyone in our industry, that is certainly a very sobering thought. And today we're going to talk with someone about this subject. And this is a person who is actually in the roofing industry. So I hope that everyone will listen closely, you know, perhaps through this and through our discussion of this, you will even learn what to say and do should you find yourself or someone else close to you at that point of desperation at some point. And you know, what do you do? I had kind of a personal experience with that a few years ago, and it's tough. So our guest today is Chad Dunlap. Chad is business development manager for Frost Roofing based in Wapakoneta, Ohio. He's been there since 2012, and he is also the founder of Upshift with Chad, which is a coaching business he started in 2018. Chad uses Upshift as a platform to talk about mental health awareness with a special focus also on suicide prevention. Chad really has a very personal story about how he got to where he is today. And we're going to be asking him to share that story as well. So, Chad, welcome to Construction Disruption. It's a pleasure to have you here today.

Chad Dunlap:

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Pleasure to be here. And thank you for having me.

Todd Miller:

:

Thank you. Again, serious topic here, and we appreciate your willingness to share, you know, what's been built into your life and in hopes of helping others. So let's kind of start out before we delve into the real heavy stuff. Let's start out kind of on this construction-specific end of things. Can you tell us a little bit about Frost Roofing and what you do there?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Okay. Well, business development manager. So my job typically is just to create relationships, get people to, like, trust, and believe in who I am, and then, you know, when the time comes that they need roofing or they have issues, they know who to call. You know, I'm definitely not the guy who knows every detail about a roof. I matter of fact, when I first started here, I felt that I had to know everything. Owner brought an entire box over, dumped a bunch of stuff on my desk and said, "There, figure it out." I said, "I can't." He goes, "Exactly. It's not what you're here for." So my goal is to get people to, like, trust and believe in me. And when the time comes that they have a roofing issue, fantastic. And I bring in the guy who actually knows what we're talking about when it comes to roofing. Frost Roofing has been in business since 1928. We're actually a fourth-generation company. J.J. Smithey is the current owner, a great guy, great friend. It actually allows me the opportunity to work for him and also run my company Upshift. So I'm highly blessed to have him in my life.

Todd Miller:

:

Very cool. And you folks are a sizable organization, I mean you're not located that far from us. So I've been aware of you for years and in fact, we have been blessed to work with you as a supplier on a couple of projects over the years. You folks do a lot of commercial work, as I recall. Do you also do residential?

Chad Dunlap:

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Residential, we got out of residential in 2014.

Todd Miller:

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Okay.

Chad Dunlap:

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We specialize in commercial-industrial. It just got to the point where you were professional quoters. You know, everybody's using your number against someone else. I mean, everybody with a truck can be a roofer nowadays. That's not what we're about. We're about taking care of the customer and doing what's right for them. But it just, we're trying to use our employees the best we possibly can and just focus on on commercial-industrial.

Todd Miller:

:

Very cool. Well, you folks have a great reputation. I know we have worked with you on gosh, I think maybe a Dairy Queen or two and maybe, maybe even a Happy Days restaurant.

Chad Dunlap:

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I'd say that's correct.

Todd Miller:

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Also, one of my favorite buildings around here, the town hall in Bluffton, Ohio, was a project we had worked on a few years ago as well.

Chad Dunlap:

:

Absolutely.

Todd Miller:

:

Good stuff. Well, again, thank you so much for joining us. So a couple of years ago, Chad, you were on the National Roofing Contractors Association Stories of an Extraordinary Industry podcast, and you shared a difficult personal story of your childhood and youth. It's a very personal, emotional story, but it's also the story that got you to where you are today, helping others with your life and Upshift with Chad. Can you share that story of what you went through as a child and youth with us?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Absolutely. And we'll go back. Let's go back to being four years old. I guess, you know, when I speak, I tell my entire story. And I do that simply because if you know where I've been, then you can understand that, that you can get through this. So at four years old, my family was... Actually my grandmother had been through a very abusive relationship with my my grandfather, and she wound up breaking free from that and was single for for a number of years and met an individual who we were so excited to go meet. So it's a December 8th, kind of a rainy, hazy, foggy evening. We're on our way from West Milton, Ohio, to St Mary's, Ohio, and a lady runs a stop sign. We're told that she was on her way to the airport to pick up her son, who was in the Air Force. She ran a stop sign, hit our car, and they believe she hit our car around 60 miles an hour. The things I'm going to tell you about the accident here, this is what I've been told. It's not that I could remember any of this, but I'm told that I was most likely sitting on my mother's lap. And upon impact, my mother and I were both thrown from the car. I am told that we both went through the windshield. She wound up landing in a ditch and I was in the middle of the road. With me hitting the middle of the road, the car started to flip, crushed me in the middle of the road. When paramedics arrived, and this is all, you know what I've been told. But paramedics arrive and they can obviously see me in the middle of the road. My mother is in a ditch. She still alive. The paramedics were trying to talk to her and she said she had two sons and obviously they knew where I was. My brother Todd was still still in the car. Matter of fact, my stepfather, who was driving the vehicle, was already deceased. And they're looking at him and they hear somebody coughing and they're looking. And we know that voice isn't coming from this guy. They wound up lifting him off and finding my brother in the backseat. I don't know if you are too familiar with a 1974 Duster, but the Plymouth Dusters, the rear seat. If you were going to a drive-in theater, you can pack about sixteen people in the back. And that's where they found Todd. Todd was, Todd really wasn't injured. He was asleep in the backseat. He got beat around a lot between the front and rear seats. But my stepfather landing on top of him, kind of shielded what happened to Todd. They wound up taking my mother to Piqua Hospital. She survived for an hour and a half and passed away from internal injuries and head trauma. Now, they took me to Dayton Children's Hospital. When my family got there, they told my family that I was not going to live through the night, but they were going to make me comfortable and allow me to die.

Todd Miller:

:

Wow.

Chad Dunlap:

:

A few hours passed. The doctor came in and said, "Well, he's still alive." I'm told that my left leg was broken so many places that when I tried to move it, it would flop around like a slinky on the bed. But I was coming in and out of a coma. And the doctor came in and said, "You know, he's still alive. We're going to start setting bones and we'll see what happens. But there's a good chance that he'll never wake up from this coma." The car crushed everything on me. And, you know, six days passed. The doctors came in and said, "He's awake. We have no idea how smart he's ever going to be, but he's awake." I had fluids of every color, they said, coming out of my ear. It was brain fluid from what I'm being told. Again, I hope that there's still enough in there to get me to at least 80. But, you know, I'm thankful for today. Six weeks later, I wound up walking out of that hospital on crutches, really having no idea what life had in store for my brother and I. The decision was made that we were going to go live with my father and my stepmother. Now, my stepmother never wanted kids. There were things that she seen and experienced in her childhood. She she knew she wasn't fit to be a mother. Congratulations, you're now the mother of five and a seven year old. While the abuse was pretty minimal when I was little, it didn't take a whole lot to control a five and seven year old. However, as I grew and became stronger, so of that level of intensity of abuse, it got to the point where my brother would always be in his room and would hear me screaming in my room at night and thinking that it's his job as the older brother to protect me. And it went on like this for a number of years and Todd made the decision. When I refer to Todd here, referring back to my brother, that's my brother's name, few years older than I am. He thought that if he moved into our room that he could protect me from what was happening. And it actually became the opposite effect happening there. That his screaming, begging her to stop became more of a cheering section in her mind for what she was doing. To me, it stayed like this for for a number of years. We actually would create our own security system in our room. I would take a glass and I would set it on top of my door ledge. I would crack my door ever so slightly. Set a glass up there. Then scoot a wooden rocking chair over in front of the doors that when she would come in, that rocking chair would have a glass hit it and make enough noise that I could wake up and try to cover up my upper body. You know, the areas that she chose to hit. Life went on like this for a number of years. My brother wound up turning 18 and moved out of the house. He received my parents life insurance money and had moved out. And I knew at that point that I had to make some decisions. I knew that if I stayed in that house, some bad things were probably going to take place in my life. Wouldn't be any sort of normalcy probably for the rest of my life. So I made the decision at that point to move out. I mean, I was 15 and a half. Life wasn't always horrible, don't get me wrong. I mean, living on your own at 15 and a half, 16 years of age. There were lots of cool aspects of it, but not knowing where you're going to sleep at night was challenging. I had lots of friends whose parents said, Chad, you can you can stay here with us for a couple of days. Our couch is available, which I'm so grateful for those people. But the bottom line, there was no place for home. There was no normalcy. And I wound up dating a young lady whose mother said, Chad, you're not sleeping in my car. You're not sleeping on my porch. You can sleep on our couch. And I wound up living there with them in Bluffton, Ohio, until I turned 18. Now, when I turned 18, life became really cool. I had an attorney, met my dad at the attorney's office walk in. They hand me a check for just under $100,000, and I thought I was going to be rich for the rest of my life. You know, as a junior in high school, somebody handed me a check like that. I thought, Man, I'm set. That was December 28. February of the following year, I received a phone call from my best friend Seth Reese, and we talked about a lot of things that day. I talked about how he was dating a young lady. I said, "That's so great." And he said, "Well, not really, Chad. She wound up getting back with her ex-boyfriend and I'm sitting on my couch. Got my cordless phone in my hand, got the antenna about six feet in the air", and he changed the subject. And he says, "Chad, I'm thinking about taking my own life. Matter of fact, I'm going to take my own life today." And I didn't believe it at first. Right, I mean, we said lots of dumb things at 18. I'm 48, I still say a lot of dumb things. But as he continued to talk, I started picking up on some things. He told me that his grandmother would is in heaven waiting on him and that he'd done everything he wanted to do here. It was time for him to move on. At that point I looked at my girlfriend and said, "Hey, put my shoes on. We're going to have to go." And we talked for a little while longer. He told me that he loved me and he hung up the phone. Now, my first reaction was, was to call 911, right? I mean, the phone's in your hand, but two thoughts started creeping in. One, what if I get him in trouble? My brain's already visualizing the police walking him out in handcuffs because I called 911. Or two, what if he gets mad at me? I don't want my buddy to be mad at me. He is my best friend, he's my brother.

Todd Miller:

:

Sure.

Chad Dunlap:

:

So in that moment, I made the decision that I was going to get there and I was going to fix this. That's what we do, right? We fix things. People call us with a problem, I don't go get somebody else to do it. We fix things because we feel that is our responsibility. One of the things I want you to take away from this is it's not your responsibility to fix everyone's problems. It's your responsibility to be able to say, "Hey, you know what? I'm not the guy, but I know someone who can, right?" It's not our job to fix everyone's problems. We as individuals feel that if somebody comes to us with a problem, it's our job to fix it. That's not the case. We'll touch on that here in a little bit. I went out to my Mustang GT that I had just gotten back from the speed shop, hopped in it. I lived in Ada, Ohio, and Seth lived in Wapakoneta, where I currently reside. And I drove as fast as I possibly could towards 1013 Court Street and that entire drive, I had plans of what I was going to do when I got there. I'm gonna shake this guy. I'm able to slap him around a bit to talk some sense into him, right. I'm going to fix this. That entire drive, I had those plans and when I came flying up into his driveway, everything changed. I look up and Seth had taped newspapers around the windows to the garage door so you couldn't see in and see what he was planning. Now, everything kind of goes to slow motion in my mind. And even on that day, it seemed like it took me an eternity, you know, to run towards his front door. He told me that he was going to leave the key under the mat. I don't recall grabbing the key. I don't recall opening the door. The next thing I remember, I'm running through his living room and two things that my brain took in in milliseconds. Donoghue show on the left side, and a cigar still burning in the ashtray on my right. And Seth told me on the phone call that he was smoking his last cigar. I'm no cigar connoisseur, definitely wasn't at 18. But I used to be the guy who was strong enough at the age of 12 at Auglaize County Fair here in Ohio that I could ring the bell. You had a little bell right? Then you had a gigantic bell. And if you could ring the big bell back in the eighties, that guy would offer you either that candy cigar or that Swisher Sweet. Guess which one Chad took every time? Try to puff on that cigar coughing my lungs out. But I knew that if I quit puffing on that cigar, that it would burn out pretty quick. So I'm thinking to myself, cigars still burning. I made it here in time, I can fix this. And I ran into his dining room and turned around the corner. It was probably a 15-foot span from from that dining room to that door in the kitchen. Seemed like an eternity. I'm running towards it, and it looks like that door just keeps running away from me. I get to the door.,There's an envelope taped to it. I ripped the door open and I run in the garage and Seth is right in front of me. And I grab him and I'm holding him. I pick him up and I'm holding him. And if I could describe to you the energy. It's like a volcano. Fear, guilt, pity, rage, anger. If you could smash all those energies together. I felt like that was just erupting out of me. And I'm holding him, and I'm screaming. And I look back in the doorway and my girlfriend had followed me into the house, and she standing there in the doorway. And she just nuts into that doorway. And I think that I came back out of whatever weird trance that my brain had put me in in that moment. And I look at Seth and I realize he's no longer with me while I release him. I scoop up my girlfriend. I carry her into the living room. I set her on the couch, and I look for the phone, and I call 911. Something that I should have done 20 minutes earlier. First question they ask, What's the address? I'm sure that you both have friends, that you just know where the house is, right? Yellow house on the corner by the alley. I have no idea what the house number is. I run out the front door. I'm looking around. I run out to the mailbox and I look back at the front door and I see 1013. I think I'm at 1013 Court Street. And I hung up the phone. I wanted to start trying to console my girlfriend. I look on the coffee table in front of me, there's a note. Chad, Mom, and a phone number. Call my mom. There's nothing out there that prepares you to make that phone call.

Todd Miller:

:

Wow.

Chad Dunlap:

:

I call you after the phone. I said, "Mom, this is Chad. Seth's done something. You need to come home." She said, "Who is this?" I said, "Mom, you need to come home." And I'm gonna hit pause for a moment. Three weeks prior to this stuff, Seth went to his mom and said, "Mom, I feel like I want to take my own life." And she did what every loving mother would do. She took him straight to the hospital. I can remember going and visiting him in the hospital. In this particular floor, they had a smoke room. You could smoke cigarettes in the hospital. I thought this was the coolest hospital ever. I wanted to room there. I'm sitting in the smoke room, smoking cigarettes with Seth and the room is full of people. And I look at Seth and he says, "Chad, there's nothing wrong with me. These people, these people are messed up. There's nothing wrong with me." And, you know, in that moment I agreed with it. One of the things that I look back on in that situation and I wish I would have just said, Seth, you're here for a reason. Let's use the tools that we have available to us here to get the help that you need so we can really live this gift that we call life. But even in that moment, I was so worried about him being upset with me that I agreed with him and said, "Yeah, man. Let's just serve your time and get you out of here." Another thing that I hope people take away from this is sometimes we have to say things that people don't want to hear so that things can work out better for them. I would much rather someone say the things that I should have said and their friends be upset with them then for them to have to be their pallbearer. I assure you I would much rather Seth be angry with me today, then for me to have to carry on like I did. Unpause. I look out the front door. Paramedics and police are arriving. They're looking at the situation, how Seth had taken his own life was suspicious looking. I don't really want to go into how he did it. There's no need. He was gone. And I see a little blue Honda CRV come flying up in the front yard. I said, his mother's here, please shut the door. They didn't. The next thing I recall in that home and the last thing that I recall in that home that day is hearing her scream. Every time I tell the story, I can hear Molly scream. It breaks my heart. But my goal with Upshift is is to keep another best friend from having to find that, a mother ffrom having to experience that. That's why I do what I do.

Todd Miller:

:

That is a powerful story. Yeah, I guess I'm curious. I mean, I can't imagine the trauma and going through that as a young man. And I mean, how did you get through that? How did that play out for you?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Took me a long time, became a drug addict. Kid that from everyone that knew me and loved me. My nightmares were horrible. How Seth had done it. He had covered his face so I didn't have to see his face. And in my dreams, I would always lift that bandana up and it would be my dad, my brother, my girlfriend, Everyone that was still close to me and here would be underneath that bandana. So I made the decision that if this happens when I sleep, I just don't need to sleep anymore. And I became heavily addicted to cocaine. I would stay awake for days on end, and then when I would crash, I would crash so hard that there would be no dreaming because my body was just completely exhausted. I wound up burning through all of my my mother's and stepfather's money that I had inherited from their passing. I wound up being completely broke, living out of the trunk of my car. I had a Honda Accord that the seat would lay down and I would drive into a hotel parking lots, lay my seat down and sleep with my head in the trunk. So as far as, you know, had headlights and lights flashing and I wouldn't see any of that. I hit a rock bottom for a number of years and wound up meeting my wife. 27 years, she's put up with me. She's the saint here. People say, "Man, what does it take?" Well, you have to find a nanny, first of all. And I've been blessed with her. She's put up with so many things. You know, I've been addicted to painkillers three times, even since I broke the addiction of of cocaine. I can tell you that you never really beat addiction. You just change what you're addicted to. And I found channels and things to become more addicted to. And weightlifting is one of those things for me. I go to the gym seven days a week. I've been blessed with an enormous amount of energy. Some people call it a curse, I call it a blessing. I have an enormous amount of energy, and if I don't put that energy in a positive place, my auto default is always negative. So I know what works best for me is to go to the gym. I talk to myself a lot when I'm there and when I'm pushing myself physically, it allows you to dig deeper into yourself mentally. I've also seen therapists over the years. Don't get me wrong, I believe that people need to talk. We've taken the art of talking away with our youth and even our adults now that everything's texting over the instant messages. And I always ask people, Were you born with a phone in your hand? And they're like, Well, what do you mean, Chad? And I said, "What form of communication did God provide you? What was it, a phone?" And they're like, No, and I see the light go off. And they're like, I never thought of it that way, that the gift that was given to us for communication is not just to be heard. It's to take the feelings and emotions that you're struggling with and get them out. There's so much power in our words, and we've taken that away from our youth and taught them that you don't really need to do this. And this is so important. One of the other goals of Upshift's presentation is to get people talking. Let's have a conversation. What we're doing here, people don't do anymore. I want to teach them, but let's let this be the number one. This can be number two, three or four, but let's have a conversation.

Todd Miller:

:

It's good stuff. You know, when you were going through some of your darkest times and I'm thinking, you know, as a young adult and you'd lost this friend and you ended up dealing and struggling with addiction. And then as great, you said your wife's name is Mandy, is that correct? Came into your life. So what did you need to hear from friends during that time when you were going through your own darkness?

Chad Dunlap:

:

That I would get through it and that I wasn't alone. I think that the key when somebody is in their darkest moments is they feel that they're the only one going through this. That nobody will understand, right? They don't want to burden someone, so they choose to not say anything. And let's look at the construction industry for a moment. These are typically the tough guys, right? I mean, it takes a different kind of guy to go up eleven stories high on a ladder. Even if you're tied off, hang off the edge of that roof to tie things off. These guys can be somewhat fearless. When we talk about fearless, typically you think tough guy, when you have that tough guy stigma, too, we see it as a weakness to ask for help. You know, and one of the things that I want to touch on is, is. I believe that it takes a much stronger person to raise your hand in front of everybody and say, Hey, I'm hurting. I need help. That's where your strength resides. Anybody can not say nothing and constantly just keep it. But if we want to live this gift to the fullest, we have to learn to heal. And healing comes through communication, through talking through your problems, admitting I'm hurting. You know, we talk a lot. We talk on veterans suicide, 22 a day. Everybody sees that everywhere. These are warriors, right? These guys have dealt with the worst of the worst. They come home to a civilian lifestyle and they're hurting. And if they raise their hand and say, I need help, somebody is going to view them as weak. That's not where weakness is. Strength is being able to say, you know what? No matter what anyone thinks of me, I'm going to raise my hand and ask for help. It takes a really strong person.

Todd Miller:

:

That's powerful stuff. So let's talk a little bit about Upshift with Chad and what you do through that. I think there's a couple of parts of it. I know you do public speaking and some of that is with schools. I'd love to hear about that. And then I believe you also do some, you know, one-on-one coaching type things with people. What what does that look like for you?

Chad Dunlap:

:

We'll touch more on my speaking. My coaching is very limited. Obviously, I'm a city counselor. I'm a business development manager for Frost. And plus I speak in schools and and do lots of safety training for for companies as well. But the speaking part, I go over my life story, we talk on a lot of statistics of of suicide. But people always think it's a suicide presentation, dark, you know, negative. That's not the case at all. We talk about my life story, again, just so people can relate, you know, if they're going through one of these things, I want them to understand, I went through it, too. And I promise you that if you do these things, we can get through it. You know, we then go through statistics. You know, the suicide is the 12th leading cause of death currently in the United States. You think 12th, man that's way up there, right? More people die from suicide than liver disease. More people die from suicide than Parkinson's disease. Let's look at the statistics. You're the age 10 to 34, guys, I want you to really think about this. 10 to 34, suicide is the number one killer, second only to car accidents. So if we were to say no one passes away from car accidents ever again. Suicide is the number one killer of the age group of 10 to 34.

Todd Miller:

:

Is that men? Is that men and women or just men? I'm curious.

Chad Dunlap:

:

That is across the board.

Todd Miller:

:

Wow.

Chad Dunlap:

:

That is across the board. You know, obviously, I touched on veterans that we kind of talk about signs and symptoms. You know, how to be supportive. How do you manage those thoughts, you know? We talk on those subjects, you know, first and foremost, recognizing something's off. And that's not just with somebody else being observed around you. We have to do those same checks with ourselves. I talk on self-talk. You know, I always ask, you know, who in here has been in a relationship at some point in your life? You know, everybody raises their hand. And I say, let me ask you a question. If you spoke to your significant other the way that you speak to yourself, how long were you in that relationship? You know and everybody starts thinking, we broke up last week, right? I mean, how we talk to ourselves is so important. You know, and one of the questions I ask in schools and companies is who has that one best friend that they tell everything to? Everybody raises their hands or elbows the person beside them. And then I ask, Do you really tell them everything? And you see their eyes. Oh, no. There's certain things I don't tell anyone, right? There's certain things that I only keep with myself. And saying that means you're your own best friend. How do you talk to that person? Self-talk is so important. You know, we talk on the help line, which I think everyone should have available to them, 988. Consultant or family doctor. You know, the day that Seth took his own life, they took me to my family doctor. I had no real family around for them to take me to. They took me to my family doctor. She helped me put a plan together and and put me on medication and helped talk me through that situation. My family doctor saved my life that day. You know, we talk on seeing a therapist. And one of the things that I have in my presentations is write it down. Everybody's like, "What do you mean by write it down?" Two things happen to you when you write down what you're going through when you're going through it. For one, you're journaling, right? Journaling is a good thing, but when you go talk to your therapist, you have a whole list of things we need to talk about when I get there. And you sit down and deer in the headlights. I forgot everything that I was going to talk to you about. But if we write down what we're going through, when we're going through it, when I sit down and talk to my therapist, that's no longer an interrogation. We know what we need to talk about. We could use utilize that entire hour of time talking about what it is that I've been going through. So there's again, many things that we touch on, and I'll touch on a couple of other things, and I apologize for rambling on here, but I have some exercises that I that I take people through. I've already talked to them on the self-talk. I speak on forgiveness and you know, everybody says all you do, you learn to forgive your stepmother. And absolutely I did. Not just for her, but for myself. You know, one of her favorite phrases to me as a child was, You're worthless, you'll never amount to anything. You should have died in that wreck with your mother. And that's just a form of control. But I used that phrase all the way through my twenties, thinking that was pushing me to be successful. You know, any time that I got any sort of a raise, I'd be like, "Hey, $0.50 more an hour." I made sure she knew about it. I didn't really realize that she still had complete control. I was still giving her complete control until I learned to forgive her. I can finally set myself free from the bondage that they put in many years ago as a child. But the real forgiveness that I'm speaking on here is, and I asked who's been in a relationship where some negative things have been said to you. Everybody raises your hands. And then I ask, how many of you have been able to break free from that, but still continue to tell yourselves all the things that were said to you in that relationship? Everybody raises their hand. Let me ask you a question, if that's taking place. Who is the abuser at that point? I am. I'm the one still continued to tell myself of things. So the forgiveness that I'm talking on is forgiving myself and learning to unconditionally love who I am. That's a tough task. That's a tough task for all of us. We love everyone else unconditionally, but when we think about unconditionally loving ourselves, we see about 47 different hurdles of why we're not worthy. I want you to start treating yourself as if you are your own best friend. Seeing those flaws gets you nowhere in life. Noticing how precious of a gift that you are, It's really what matters. We talk about being self-centered. I ask people what comes to mind when you hear the term self-centered. Everybody says the same words, egotistical, arrogant, cocky, pompous. Let's break it into two words. Self and center. Aren't we always told to love ourselves? We need to become a little more self-centered. We need to become a little more centered. But when we put those words together, it's a bad thing. I tell people you need to become a little more self-centered. Start learning to love yourself unconditionally, realizing that you matter. And when we start realizing that we are one of the most important people in our own life, everything starts to change. We start treating ourself as if we truly matter. It's funny that one of the things that I ask is, what's the most important moment in your life? You know, a lot of the high school kids are like, it'll be the day that I graduate get out of this place, you know? You know, when I graduated college or when I got this job. Everybody starts thinking of a time in the past. But the most important moment in your life is the one that you have complete control over. Which would be what? This very moment. This is the most important moment in your life because this is what you have control over. If we decide to make change, when should we make it? Next week? Next month? Next year? No, now. There is no better time to make the change that your life deserves than right now. I can ramble on forever for you guys, but I'm sure there's some other things that you want to talk about. I can talk about this gift called life for the next four or five days, if you'd like.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, I have to imagine that message you go out with is pretty impactful. So, it is schools a lot of times that you're speaking to, is that correct? Is this high school level or?

Chad Dunlap:

:

I would say the age group that this impacts most would be from eighth grade to eighty years old. And people say, "That's a large swath of people." I just recently spoke to a sheriff's department, and I had retired deputies there, retired detectives there, and those were the ones that reached out to me and said, "Wow, you know, it's really tough to get an entire group of law enforcement officers to pay attention, to be quiet". He said, "You're one of the people that I've actually seen do that." There really is no age when we start talking about my life experiences. I don't think seventh grade and down can really relate. Again, you have to be relatable for them to understand and take ownership of what you're speaking about. I ask a lot of questions through this. Obviously, the computer makes it tougher for us to have interaction. But I ask a lot of questions because when they start answering your questions, they start taking ownership. They feel like they're part of the presentation and they remember, you know, I've been to lots of speakers in my life. And if you asked me three days later, "Hey, what'd they talk about?" "Great question, let me look it back up." When you leave my presentation, there's a couple of things that I really hope that you take away from that that I hear back often of. And this is what really stuck with me. I've had people, I just recently spoke in. Where was it? My brain just went blank. But when I spoke, there was a gentleman there that was his fifth time of watching my presentation. He says, "Chad, every time that I see you speak." Georgetown, Ohio. Let's go back to that. "But every time that I see you speak, I take something different away from this presentation." And I think that that that's what matters to me. I mean, that if you have to come back and get something different five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten times, I'm on board with that because when I speak this, you would be amazed how much did I learn about myself by interacting and hearing what other people have to say? I learned so much from my audience and I love that I'm not the guy sitting on top of the hill telling everybody how things need to be done. I'm speaking from the battlefield. I'm right there with you. And I'm learning how to live this gift every day.

Todd Miller:

:

You know, one of the things that I've heard over the years, and I don't know enough to know whether this is true or not, Chad, but one of the things I've heard over the years is that, you know, the United States really kind of... Okay, I'll use the word I hate, but really kind of sucks at mental health care and is not particularly good at it. Do you think that's true? And, you know, you've touched on it, you know, even saying that, you know, we have this attitude that we can fix this and we can do this and we don't need any help. And I'm showing weakness if I look for help. I mean, if I look for help. Do you think that that's sort of this American, hmm, what I want to say thing that's bred into us that drives that? Or I'm just, would love to hear you talk a little bit about that.

Chad Dunlap:

:

So I'm on the board of Mental Health Recovery Services for Allen, Auglaize, and Harlan County. For me to say that what we're offering out there sucks. Please don't take it that, no, there's there's lots of different opportunities to get help.

Todd Miller:

:

Mm hmm.

Chad Dunlap:

:

We have conditioned, we've been conditioned over over generations, though, that, again, that that it's a weakness or people don't know the avenues and are afraid. Let's let's say I'm at work, right. Let's say I'm at work and I'm struggling. But I'm afraid that if I say something to my employer that they'll fire me. I'm struggling and I don't know what to say or who to approach. We need to do away with the stigma. That fear should be part of speaking about your mental health. No employer should, you should never be fearful of losing your job by going to your employer and saying, Hey, I'm struggling.

Todd Miller:

:

Amen.

Chad Dunlap:

:

There are lots of avenues that lots of employers are offering out there that sometimes can offer five, six, seven, up to ten, I believe, visits with a therapist. That is no cost to the employee. The key is just speaking up. You said our government. I can also say that if somebody has an experience, this is hard to relate. And I believe that there really is very few people out there now that aren't impacted in some way by suicide. I don't like using the term committing suicide. I think that when you say committing suicide, somebody is making a commitment. And when you make a commitment, you always feel like you have to follow through when you're thinking about that thought process. I want someone to understand that when suicide is on their mind, they can back out at any time. It's never a commitment, something that you've committed yourself to, that you have to follow through with. No, you can back out if you're struggling with these thoughts. Talk to someone. It's a commitment that we can back out of at any point.

Todd Miller:

:

You know, there's to me, I see a lot of hope in what you just said. I mean, you're saying, "Hey, the resources are out there, but we have to have the strength to step into them and be willing to talk about that."

Chad Dunlap:

:

And I apologize if the EAP plans that employers. If you're going to go talk to your employer, the Employee Assistance Program is is what the majority of our employers have out there. And I think that employers need to start speaking up. You annually go over your rates. Hey, I've not had a meeting with an employer annually that says, "hey, our rates are going down with insurance." We always have to be with someone whose insurance rates are going up, dental is going up, everything's going up. But by the way, guys, before we leave you, let me tell you about the employee assistance program that we have. That needs to be implemented into every employer's annually, bi-annually, quarterly. Hey, guys, just don't forget that we have this EAP program. It's completely confidential. We don't know what you're talking about, but it's something that we want to implement and offer to you. If you're struggling, we'll give you six free visits and then you can decide. Again, let's look at the organization. I'm with the Mental Health and Recovery Services. I've had people reach out to me and say, "Chad, I need to see a therapist, but I don't have the money." And that allows me the opportunity to call my executive director and say, "Hey, I've got someone here that's struggling. They need to talk to someone and they don't have money." Nine out of ten times. You know what? With my experience, it's ten out of ten times. We have found a way to get those people the help that they need. Again, it needs to be spoken about with that stigma completely out of it. I always use the analogy that, you know, if you roll your ankle or break your leg, you don't try to hide that. You know. Hey, I need to go see the doctor. Right, I'm emotionally broken. I ask in the presentation that. How many people believe that an emotional breakdown is so much harder to heal than a physical break? Not break, but like I wear a cast for six weeks, go get the cast sawed off. I do some stretches and I'm good. I've know people who have suffered from emotional breaks for their entire lives. That's not what this gift is about. This gift is about healing and living to the fullest every day.

Todd Miller:

:

You know, I hope that in our audience out there, there are employers out there who really take to heart what you're saying. I mean, one of the things I often think about I mean, most of us who are, you know, in 40 hours a week jobs or more, we spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our spouse. Certainly more time than we do with any, you know, non-spouse friends that we have. And yet, you know, we don't talk about mental health at work and with our coworkers and our team members and so forth. So I think you got some great advice there. You know, one of the things that strikes about me and it used to be it's obvious you're a high-energy guy. You admitted to that, I love it. But, you know, you're filling a lot of roles. I mean, you know, you got your work with Frost Roofing and you've got Upshift with Chad. You're on the Mental Health and Recovery Services Board. You're a city councilman. Why is that important to you to be out there serving others and serving your community? Oh, and I have to, I'll give you the opportunity. You gotta share what Wapak is famous for, too, okay?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Okay, absolutely. Well, get that right out of the way here, right off the bat. Neil Armstrong, first man to walk on the moon. His childhood home was actually about three blocks from where I'm currently located. We have the Neil Armstrong Museum here. Wapakoneta is a thriving, growing community, a growing city. I love living here. I think that there's something for everyone here in Wapakoneta. If you're ever in town, by all means, look me up and I'll give you that little inside tour of the people and show you how blessed we are to live here. Yeah, well, Wapakoneta is a great place. We were going somewhere else there, Todd and my brain completely missed it.

Todd Miller:

:

Oh, I was just asking, You know what, what makes you feel that need to serve like that and serve others?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Yeah, well, you know, I think back to a doctor telling my family that I wasn't going to live through the night. And here I am. And I've been blessed enough to be here. And when I was originally asked to be on city council, I was approached and I thought, Wow, what a way for me to be able to to give back. You don't go into a role like that for the money. You know, the money is very minimal. But you have the opportunity to help someone when they need it to be able to see when somebody says, "Hey, Chad, I need this." I said, "Fantastic. What do I need to do to make this happen?" I'm not the guy who understands politics top to bottom. Matter of fact, I'm probably the least political person on our council board. But that being said, I'm the guy that if you call me with an issue, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of it and resolve it for you just to have the opportunity to help people. I've been blessed by many people giving me a hand up in life and not a handout. I've never had anything handed to me, but I've been given opportunity. And I think that that is the gift in life is the opportunity.

Todd Miller:

:

Good stuff. Thank you so much, this has been a great time together. This has been a powerful story and I know that there are people in our audience that this is going to help. Is there anything we haven't covered yet today that you would like to share with our audience?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Realistically? No, I think we covered most of the bases. My only request would be, you know, tell everyone. My key audience would be every school, every employer. What do I need to do to make that happen? What do I need to do to get this message in front of your people? You know, your students, eighth grade through twelfth grade, your colleges. I've spoken at different colleges, and that's an age group, where let's touch on one of the things here when we were kids. I don't mean to keep bouncing over, but this is pretty powerful. When we were kids, we were always told, you're living the greatest years of your life right now. You better enjoy it. That's what we were always told. And I think that that has just become a common phrase that I was told. That's so I'm going to speak to these kids and tell them that we didn't have social media as kids. When I compared myself to like four other people on my block that had a cooler bike than I had. Our youth can now get on social media and compare themselves to millions of other people that they'll never meet. I heard John Maxwell say one time that comparison is the thief of all joy. And that is so true. If you're constantly living your life, comparing yourself to everyone else, you're never going to truly reach the destiny that you were designed and put here to do. Never going to reach those people. There'll be a certain amount of people in this world that Ryan's going to be able to talk to, Todd's going to be able to talk to that just aren't going to listen to Chad. I'm either too high energy or my nose is too big or something about me will keep them from feeling like they can open up to me. And those are my people. If I'm constantly living my life trying to be someone else, I'm never going to reach those that I'm looking to reach.

Todd Miller:

:

This has been very moving, very, very interesting, and I love that, comparison is the thief of all joy. I'm going to be thinking about that all day.

Chad Dunlap:

:

But yes, my website upshiftwithchad.com. My cell phone number, I'm everywhere. So 419-204-0921. Please feel free to reach out to me. People always ask me, Chad, what's your fee? And I have a general fee, but I always want to have a conversation first. Because I feel that the message is far too important to put a price tag on it and someone say, I just can't afford that. I don't know how you can afford to not have this presentation. My goal is to never say no. Have I said no? Minimally. There's just been certain things that I can't put myself in a situation where I can't afford it. Yeah, but my goal is to never say no, because I believe that the message is far too important.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, switching to a little bit lighter subject. So one of the things that we often do or we always do here on Construction Disruption is what we call our rapid fire questions. So this is a little bit lighter topic than what we've been covering.

Chad Dunlap:

:

Alright.

Todd Miller:

:

So what this is, Chad, is that seven questions we would ask you. Some may be serious, some may be silly. All you have to do is give a response. Gotta ask, are you up to the challenge of rapid fire?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Okay. I was gonna say I haven't studied, so let's do this.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, it's painless and no studying is required, so we'll alternate asking questions. You want to ask the first one, Ryan?

Ryan Bell:

:

Sure, I would be glad to. Before I start, just thank you, Chad, for I haven't had much to say to contribute, but you've given me a lot to think about. And I thank you for sharing this story. You know, it's touching. I have a friend that took his life a little over a year ago. He was in the construction industry. And so when I first heard your podcast on the one Todd mentioned at the beginning, I was very touched by it. So just thank you for everything you're doing this. I just wanted to get that in before we go into this. Okay. Question number one, can you think of any product you've purchased recently that has been a disruptor or game changer for you? Sort of like a "where have you been all my life" moment?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Okay, so let me think, here. Protein bars. I've been in multiple different weight loss challenges or transformation challenges and fit crunch. If you've not had t,. I tell everybody the gym that I work out now offers fit crunch bars. I eat two for breakfast, two for lunch, and then really whatever I want for supper. I, I typically ride a road bike for an hour, burn about 1200 calories so I can pretty much make supper whenever I want. But fit crunch bars, they got multiple flavors. Peanut butter and jelly is my favorite, but they've got peanut butter, they've got mint chocolate chip. Yeah, fit crunch bars, absolutely. Check them out.

Ryan Bell:

:

Are they available in the grocery store?

Chad Dunlap:

:

They are available at Sam's Club. They're available at Walmart. They're available on Amazon. Don't buy them off, don't want to Amazon to hunt me down. But typically on Amazon, they're a lot more money. I'd go to Sam's Club and buy 18 of them for like $23. And that's the direction I would go, yes.

Todd Miller:

:

Shout out to fit crunch, Good deal. Okay. Well, this may be this next question may be something you can't relate to. I don't know. Do you prefer the top half or bottom half of a bagel?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Ooh top half.

Todd Miller:

:

Okay.

Chad Dunlap:

:

There's more area that can get crunchy.

Todd Miller:

:

There you go. That's what I like, too.

Chad Dunlap:

:

I'll smother the inside with butter, but the top half has to be really crunchy for me.

Todd Miller:

:

So you talk about all this fitness and then we talk about bagels and actually my next questions, not the best either, but let's go for it then.

Ryan Bell:

:

The next question is what's your favorite fast food meal or restaurant?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Fast food meal. See, I don't do this very often.

Todd Miller:

:

That's what I figured.

Chad Dunlap:

:

But if I were doing this, it's probably going to be McDonald's breakfast, right? I mean, I love that sausage. You know sometimes I'll just go in and get a Sausage McMuffin or a Sausage McMuffin with egg. I'll ask you to put two eggs and three eggs, make it about six inches tall with about four eggs in there for the protein. But yeah, McDonald's breakfast is probably it for me.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, that's a good one. I have to say that. So my answer to that would would have to be a Kewpee hamburger and chili.

Chad Dunlap:

:

Oh, yeah, that's pretty good, too.

Todd Miller:

:

I haven't lived up there for years. Okay, next question. What is your preference, summer or winter?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Summer, summer. In the winter, my body aches. Every bone that's been broken in this body aches so much when it gets cold. And that's true. I've learned that if people says you, why do you push yourself so hard? I'm going to hurt either way. I might as well hurt from going to the gym because if I sit too long ever, they want to freeze up on me. So I have to stay moving.So the summer is definitely a lot more pleasant for this body than winter is.

Todd Miller:

:

Wow.

Ryan Bell:

:

Side question, why do you live in Ohio still?

Chad Dunlap:

:

I have a wife, two beautiful children. My son is employed at Wright Pat Air Force base. My daughter just moved to Indianapolis, so they're close. I'm a grandpa and my grandson turns three here in the next couple of days. I never thought that I would live this long. Never in a million years If you'd ever ask me. If I lived to be 48, I would say, no. I'm so glad that I've lived. I am living in the greatest years of my life. This kind of circles back to what we were telling our youth that, you know, that they're living in the greatest years. That is such a lie that we tell them. It's tough for them because they've got the comparisons and they've got the pressures of college and the pressures of trying to become somebody. Stick it out, it's worth it. I'm living in the greatest years of my life right now. So, yeah, I love it.

Todd Miller:

:

You know, I, I have to add, throw in one thing here, Ryan. We'll get back to the next question.

Ryan Bell:

:

Okay.

Todd Miller:

:

Most of us don't remember anything about our commencement speeches at any of our graduations. But I remember one, my college graduation, professor Mary Ann Sullivan, one of my favorites. She passed away a couple of years ago, but. My graduation from college was back during the years of Bruce Springsteen's what was it Glory Days song? And she's like, You know, that's such a fallacy. You don't want to live your life where you're looking back and saying, Those were my glory days. You always want to be driving forward and have every day be the best day ever. So good stuff.

Ryan Bell:

:

Would you rather watch nothing but Hallmark Christmas movies or nothing but horror movies?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Oh, I mean, there's got to be some action in the horror movie. I'm all about action, right? So that horror movie, something has to be happened where somebody is running, sprinting or causing my adrenaline to be up a little because Hallmark, I'm typically going to fall asleep. My wife, she watches lots of HGTV and I have to find myself doing something different because I don't sit still well. Sitting is not my forte.

Todd Miller:

:

Sounds good. Next question. This is one of our favorites here on the show. If you had to eat a crayon, Chad, what color crayon would you choose to eat?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Oh, red, I love apples. Absolutely, I've eaten a red crayon before.

Todd Miller:

:

Oh, no. That's the first time someone's said that.

Chad Dunlap:

:

I've eaten all of them, actually.

Todd Miller:

:

Did it taste like apple?

Chad Dunlap:

:

No, it does not. It's a lot different. It's stuck in your teeth for days. I know that. But I'm going to get pretty desperate guys, they look pretty fantastic after a while.

Todd Miller:

:

Oh, my.

Ryan Bell:

:

Okay, final question. This one's a little more serious. What would you most like to be remembered for?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Making an impact in somebody else's life. We're born for other people. You know, if I wasn't meant to make an impact in someone else's life, God would have put us each on our own island. I want to be known when people look back on what I've done is, I've been there when they needed it the most. And that is why we're here. We're here to make a difference in other people's lives. That's my blessing. My blessing isn't what I have. It isn't what I'm doing. It's what we are doing together.

Todd Miller:

:

Well, Chad, thank you again so much for sharing.

Chad Dunlap:

:

It's been a lot of fun.

Todd Miller:

:

Will be a great episode. Yeah, it has been a lot of fun, too. But thank you. You share some very personal stuff and I'm sure that every time you share it, it's reliving it a little bit, too. But you know that God's given you that for a reason and you're go out there and share and help others. So, yeah, you already mentioned a little bit, but share with us again. And we'll also put it in the show notes for folks who do want to get in touch with you. How can they most easily do that?

Chad Dunlap:

:

Okay, upshiftwithchad.com on the Internet. You can reach me through, there's a portal there that you can email me, upshiftwithchad@gmail.com. I'm working on a different one as far as just. And but upsetwithchad#gmail.com is the one that you can currently reach me on. Cell phone number, I mean, my phone never leaves my side. And that's because if somebody needs to call me, my wife says, hey, Chad, can you shut it off? You know, because it might be the time somebody needs to talk, 419-204-0921. I'm available, give me a call. Let's make an appointment and see what we can do for somebody.

Todd Miller:

:

That's good stuff. And everyone always says, Hey, I'm available, contact me. You're one guy that I know really means that. So that's good stuff. So I have to share real quick, as you were talking about Upshift with Chad. So my son went to college at a place, Cedarville University, but their dining hall for students was called Chuck's because a guy by the name of Chuck had run it for years. So Chuck's actually had two levels of dining, the lower main level, and it had a second level, which you can well imagine was referred to everybody as UpChuck's. Anyway, but Upshift with Chad, awesome. So thank you everyone for tuning into this very special episode of Construction Disruption with Chad Dunlap of Frost Roofing and Upshift with Chad. Please watch for future episodes of our podcast. We always have great guests. Don't forget to leave a review, please for us. Until the next time we're together, though, keep on reaching out, keep on helping each other, keep on communicating, keep on building those ties, because that's what we're here for, as Chad pointed out, is to help one another. Never forget to have a positive impact on everyone you encounter. Make them smile, encourage them, simple yet powerful things we can do to change the world. God bless and take care. This is Isaiah Industries signing off until the next episode of Construction Disruption.

Todd Miller:

:

Intro/Outro: This podcast is produced by Isaiah Industries, a manufacturer of specialty metal roofing and other building products.

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