In this episode, we’re talking about donor sperm and treatment abroad. We have discussed donor conception on the podcast before and refer throughout the episode to previous chats we’re had as we’ve spoken to egg donors, as well as organizations that help match you with donors both in the UK and abroad and we’ve heard your stories about having treatment abroad with a donor egg or sperm, for a multitude of reasons.
The idea of using a donor to make your baby can take a lot of time to get your head around and it's so important to get support and there are brilliant organizations to guide you. We’ve chatted with the Donor Conception Network who have been around for a long time, working on the narrative about how we talk about this with our loved ones.
More recently, the brilliant Becky Kearns who is @defiingmum on Instagram has launched her Paths to Parents hub which is to support people looking at donor conception and Becky is working tirelessly to provide webinars and an amazing support network to help answer the many questions that come with donor conception.
Our first guest is JR Silver who has created a wonderful children's book called Sharing Seeds.
JR was diagnosed with the BRCA1 and sadly lost his sister to breast cancer 9 months later. The family had realized there was a line of females that had passed away young
Sister died 9 months later. It was when he went to find out about PGD testing to see whether they could take sperm and have it analyzed to see if they would only put forward healthy sperm
What is Non‐obstructive azoospermia (NOA)
Ended up having fertility tests - he found out that he had zero sperm which is defined as Non‐obstructive azoospermia (NOA) Definition - no sperm in the ejaculate due to failure of spermatogenesis and is the most severe form of male infertility. The etiology of NOA is either intrinsic testicular impairment or inadequate gonadotropin production.
JR went on to have more tests to confirm the condition and then went on to see a Urologist and had two operations to try and retrieve sperm over the coming year. He and his wife had a strong support network and also gained more support and also funding from the Jewish infertility charity Chana
Chana is close to my heart as they also supported me in the early stages of our decision to donate our frozen embryo You can learn more about them
What’s it like choosing a sperm donor for a guy and what advice do you have for other men?
JR explained how he was on a light dose of anti-depressants felt that might have taken the edge off the choosing a sperm donor. Once the pair had got their head around it, they found it quite good fun.
JR talked about how his wife didn’t want to see pictures, but it was one of his requirements. The pair are fair in the background and they wanted someone close to his aesthetic and he said that enabled them to pick the donors based on the pictures available. The donor was from Canada and the US from Xytex
JR says to be wary of all the advice offered and encourages Men to work with their partner and look at if they can deal with the setbacks of how it feels, see it as a joint project.
How do you talk about using a sperm donor - with your friends and family?
This is such an important conversation and once we’ve also discussed on the podcast with Jana Rupnow...
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