We don’t often talk about fun ways of improving behavior, but today’s episode will give you some strategies to do just that. I’m talking all about how to be a more playful parent so that you actually enjoy your kids more.
We also all want to feel connected and create joyful memories with our kids.
The moments we remember most are the ones that were emotionally charged. The memories aren’t about where you are or what you’re doing. They’re about how you FEEL.
How do you want to feel this summer? Do you want to feel joy? Delight? Do you want to create memories that are filled with laughter and positive emotions?
If so, you’re going to want to chase play and decide in advance that you want to feel more joy.
Playful Parenting
Good memories happen when we are enjoying our kids. when we stop trying to get things done and instead be in the moment and just sit and enjoy something with them.
Being playful doesn’t require that you crawl on the ground playing with cars, dolls or building blocks. If you enjoy doing that, great! If you don’t, it doesn’t mean you can’t be a playful parent.
Being playful is more of an energy. You might be quick to smile, think delightful thoughts about your kids or notice something silly.
As adults, we are so focused on tasks, time and productivity. Kids don’t care about time.
They only care about play. So if we can bring a little bit more playful emotion and energy into a scenario, it goes a long way.
Benefits of Playfulness
Supports learning and growth
Through play, kids try and fail. They explore, create and develop mastery.
If you have a kid who has a tendency toward perfectionism or is a bit more strict with themselves, bringing in a little silliness frees them (and you). They don’t have to do everything “right” because there are no rules in playfulness.
Behavior
We get so serious about behavior sometimes. I talk a lot about limits, boundaries and consequences. But when our goals are for life to be easier, for things to go smoother and to have more joy and fun in our lives, play is a great way to do it.
When you’re playful, you’re close and in connection with your kid. It makes them feel safer and in a better mood.
Processing negative emotions
Play is also helpful for releasing emotional distress for some kids. It isn’t about discounting their feelings, but more about testing to see if they’re open to a smile or a giggle.
Playfulness can be the release valve that turns tears into laughter, which is also a great way to process negative emotion.
Attention
When you’re playful, it naturally brings your kid’s attention to you, which gives you an opportunity to set your limit or say whatever it is you want them to hear.
Your kids are craving for you to play with them. They are craving your joy. They're craving your delight. They can't wait to see you at the end of the school day. They want your eyeballs on them.
We love being in connection with our people, and our kids want that, too.
11 Ways to Be a More Playful Parent
Follow giggles and smiles
Notice when your kids are smiling or giggling and come alongside and join in that playful energy.
Be exaggerated
It’s hard not to smile when you see someone being goofy. Singing, pretending to fall, pretending they’re really strong or doing a silly dance are all great ways to make kids giggle (or roll their eyes if they’re a little older 🙄).
We want to watch the line here so we don’t cross over into mocking. But you can join in with them in a funny voice, going alongside their emotion and making it a little lighter. The key is to be attuned to their emotions and whether or not they want to engage in this way.
Simon Says
This is a great one to move your morning or evening along. Remember that the goal of these games is connection and positive emotion between you and your kid, not manipulating them into compliance.
Simon Says is also a great attention grabber once your child is familiar with it. Kids get really distracted, and this can help bring them back to what they’re supposed to be doing.
Freeze Tag
Run around and play tag. If you get tagged, you have to freeze for 5 or 10 seconds.
Walk Like a ______
Call out an animal for kids to move like on their way to the bathroom or wherever you want them to go.
Gamify Everyday Things
A few examples of this are, “Hey everybody, let’s see if we can beat this song - Finish breakfast and get our socks and shoes on before the song ends!”
Or, “Yesterday, you put your shoes on in 20 seconds. Let’s see if you can do 18 today!”
Mystery item
Put some items on a tray and cover them up. Have kids take turns guessing. They can hide items for you, too.
Love notes
Write a little love note or draw a heart on a slip of paper and casually drop it as you walk by. This is a great way to create appreciation, love and gratitude.
Pillow “fights”
Pillow fights or stuffed animal fights can be a great way to get some of that big body movement out before bed.
Kid sandwich or burrito
Imagine a sandwich with pillows or cushions for bread and a kid in the middle. For a burrito, wrap them up in a blanket and gently roll them back and forth.
This little bit of compression can really help release emotional tension in their body, too.
Let them be the boss
Ask your child to be in charge of where everybody sits at the dinner table tonight or where everything goes on the table. Reverse roles for a little while and let them play pretend.
When Play Goes Wrong
We’ve all had those moments where a game is no longer fun or playful, either for you or for one of your kids.
I want you to feel, as the parent, that you have the freedom to set some boundaries around the play. For example, “We can only play this game if everybody's having fun. It doesn't look like sister’s having fun anymore.”
Or you can shift gears and say, “We can do this for one more minute, and then time’s up.”
Having to shift from play into a leadership energy doesn’t mean that playtime was ruined or that it wasn’t effective. And you don’t have to wait until things get out of hand.
Notice if you're not having fun anymore or if it starts to feel off, and make a plan to end it and move on to something else.
Playfulness looks different for different ages, but a smile goes a long way no matter how old your kids are.
The goal is to have a little bit of lightness in your relationship and bring as much delight as you can into your life. Go give it a try!
You’ll Learn:
- The difference between playing with kids and being playful
- Benefits of playfulness - for your kids and for you
- How to shift into emotional coaching when your kid is not in the mood for play
- 11 ways to be a more playful parent
Free Resources:
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✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
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✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
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