In this episode: becoming obsessed with doing the inner work, so you can build a life and a business you love…while also taking care of yourself.

Denise Alba is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Founder & CEO of BRAVE Wellness Studio in San Diego. She blends mental health, trauma-informed yoga, and business mentorship to support community healing, generational growth, and aligned leadership rooted in purpose.

Denise and Teresa talk about the benefits of having a strong community when healing, how healing and showing up for yourself look different for everyone, the value in taking a step back to check in with yourself when things don’t feel aligned, and most importantly, that you have the power to change your situation.

This episode is for anyone who needs the reminder that you don’t have to choose between ambition and well being.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Your business can’t outgrow your personal growth. It’s so easy to get caught up in the cycle of growing and scaling your business…but if your life doesn’t fulfill you while you’re doing it, what’s the point?
• Having a strong foundation in community circles speeds up your healing process. Denise found that when creating accessibility to yoga classes, retreats, and community spaces, combined with therapy, there is a noticeable change in healing, confidence, and networking.
• Be mindful of your energy and when to protect it. Take note at networking events who gives you energy and who drains it.
• Healing looks different to everyone, and part of the journey is identifying what works best for you.
• If certain things in your life are causing you stress or anxiety - take a step back and ask yourself “What can I do about this?” Remind yourself that you are in control, and you have the power to do something about what you’re feeling.

We have to slow down in order to really get the signals, because we're just not wired to receive everything, this information, and to do life the way that we are right now, which is why there's so much anxiety and depression and loneliness in our world. — Denise Alba

Resources:

• By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult: https://bookshop.org/p/books/by-any-other-name-a-novel-jodi-picoult/aea2c8d9bf115229?ean=9780593497234&bkshp-astro=t
• Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Phd: https://bookshop.org/p/books/women-who-run-with-the-wolves-clarissa-pinkola-estes-ph-d/5e495faa24961d97?ean=9780345409874&bkshp-astro=t

Connect with Denise:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deniseaalba/
• Brave Wellness Studio Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bravewellnessstudio/
• Website: https://www.denisealba.com/
• Brave Wellness Studio: https://www.bravewellnessstudio.com/

Connect with Teresa

• Join the Becoming Obsessed Playground, the weekly email for curiosity-led women building a life they love.
• Instagram: @becomingobsessedpod and @teresaajean
• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify Podcasts. Reviews are the biggest thank-you, and reviews help ambitious women find the show.
• Website: teresaajean.com

Topics: community healing, yoga, holistic mental health, personal growth, self care, mindfulness, mental wellness, community support, entrepreneur burnout, yoga therapy, inner work, self awareness, business mentorship, anxiety relief, mental health tips, emotional well-being, balance in life, wellness retreats, building a life you love, balance in business

Mentioned in this episode:

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I just wanted to create a space that was going to bring a community together to heal, provide a space for conversations, provide a space for trauma, informed yoga.

And what that means is take it at your own pace.

If you want to lay in Shavasana because you are having a bad day, do your thing while we continue and get up and join us if you're ready.

And the main, main thing was community because that was what helped me me is I could not have gone through and survived the way that I did, thrived really, if it wasn't for my community yoga, my therapist.

Welcome to Becoming Obsessed, where curiosity leads you to a life you love.

I'm Teresa Stasney and after over a decade of traveling the world, working with small business owners and creating a couple businesses of my own, I know a thing or two about playing by your own rules.

It's not always easy and it's often messy.

It can be hard, especially, especially if you're doing it alone.

I've seen way too many incredible women shoot for the stars only to burn out along the way, or worse, live on default and never chase their dreams.

We're done with all of that.

Together we're going to challenge what keeps us stuck and figure out what it takes to live a life we truly love.

Today, we are becoming obsessed with doing the inner work so that we can build a life and a business we love while also taking care of ourselves, balancing ambition and self care.

And there's this phrase that I have repeated so many times which is, your business can't outgrow your personal growth.

And as I was preparing today, I literally caught myself in one of those little cycles where you were like, you know, even saying that almost brings it back to this idea that having a business that grows and scales is the point.

And that's not the point.

It's to create a life that we love beyond the business.

And today's guest is helping so many people do the inner work show up for themselves in a very impactful and unique way.

So I'm very excited to introduce Denise to the podcast.

Denise Alba is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder and CEO of Brave Wellness Studio in San Diego.

As a Latina entrepreneur, she blends mental health, trauma, informed yoga and business mentorship to support community healing, generational growth and aligned leadership rooted in purpose.

Denise, welcome to Becoming Obsessed.

Thanks Teresa.

I'm so excited to be here.

So, before we kind of get into the meat, I just want to talk about what is a holistic mental health studio?

What is it and what does it look like?

Yes.

So Brave Wellness Studio is the first wellness studio in San Diego to combine holistic psychotherapy, trauma informed yoga, and community circles retreats.

Really, that community aspect.

So we have a full blown trauma informed yoga studio where people can come in, take yoga classes, get to know one another, and also a private practice of therapists that are also yoga instructors and combine somatic healing and all of this to just provide a space that we can all build on community.

And it's just so important for us to come together in a place under one roof that we can all just heal through again.

Trauma informed yoga therapy, community circles community.

I love it so much because I'm a big yoga girl myself.

I've been doing yoga for over a decade.

And so specifically right now I'm going to.

It's called Power Life and it's not the, you know, mental yoga as much as the physical workouts.

A lot of the instructors are good.

They'll have this kind of mental theme that you can play with during the practice.

But it's not as deep as I have gone in some studios.

And so when I heard of Brave, I was like, oh my gosh, I would love it.

We were just talking.

I can't believe I missed my chance to go when I was in San Diego last week.

Where did this idea come from and how did you think of and why did you start Grave Wellness?

So actually a few years ago, few, like 12, 13, 14 years ago, I swore I'm just a baby.

I was going through a very difficult divorce and a really difficult time in my life.

And so I was seeing a therapist at the time and she was working with me on my anxiety and my worries, my fears and all the things that you go through while you're going through a divorce and, and through a big life change.

And she was like, girl, like, we need to move your energy.

She's like, go to yoga, try yoga.

And so I started to go to yoga and then I started to pair them together on the same day.

So Fridays was my therapist day.

I'd go see my therapist and then I'd go to yoga or vice versa maybe.

I'd go to yoga and then I'd go to therapy.

And I just started to notice how much my body and my anxiety was just seeing the benefits of it.

My anxiety was lowering.

I was moving the energy in my body while also talking through what I was going through.

And so I just kind of like pinned it in the back of my mind, like, this is amazing.

Fast forward.

Went to grad School, became a therapist myself and started to work in community mental health and started to notice that the same people were kind of coming through the door, the family.

So here we see like now generational.

And it just like was this cycle and I was in it for, you know, almost like 10 years of doing community mental health.

And I was feeling really burnt out and I was going to yoga and still seeing my therapist and still working.

And I was noticing that in yoga classes I would feel really good.

But there was also times that it was just too much, they were pushing too much.

Like, go further, go deeper, don't stop.

All these things were just kind of like brewing in my head as all this was happening.

And then one day I just decided I just need to merge these somehow.

Because in community mental health I can't necessarily do holistic psychotherapy.

I want to do some of this yoga with my clients and, and I need to be able to find balance with myself as well and being able to help clients think about.

In community mental health, you're seeing like eight to 10 clients a day, which is absurd in my opinion.

Unsustainable.

Yeah, that's a lot of energy to like take on and process yourself.

Can you imagine?

And so you have this productivity while still needing to feel balanced, while still wanting to help your clients.

And so there was just this like a life force and change in me that was like, go do this.

And so I had just such great support with my partner and my family.

Family of just open.

What you've always said that you wanted to do is combine somehow therapy and yoga.

So we opened Brave on the studio actually 7 years ago this week.

And so I just wanted to create a space that was going to bring again community together to heal, provide a space for conversations, provide a space for trauma, informed yoga.

And what that means is take it at your own pace.

If you want to lay in Shavasana because you are having a bad day, do your thing while we continue and get up and join us if you're ready.

A place to build on skills.

For example, in holistic psychotherapy, we talk about mindfulness and breath work and being present.

And so you have that in the yoga studio and then also in therapy of bringing the skills in here as well.

Mindfulness, breath work, somatic healing, psychedelic healing.

And the main, main thing was community because that was what helped me is I could not have gone through and survived the way that I did thrived if it wasn't for my community yoga, my therapist, and just all these other things that we'll get into.

Oh, my gosh, I hear you so much on yoga being this place where you can pull back or push.

And I love that you brought that up, because even at the studio I go to now, they have sculpt, they have barre, they have like push, push, push classes.

And even there, they'll be like, take it or leave it, like your mat, your practice.

And there was a time about maybe a month ago, a couple weeks ago, it was like a 6am class.

And I was so resistant.

Nothing in my body wanted to be there.

And I was on the mat realizing that I was probably giving 50%.

And then I realized that I was actually so grateful that it was like I showed up and I gave 50%.

And that's better than if I wouldn't have shown up.

Like, even being in resistance, honestly, the instructor probably didn't even know.

But it's like inside you can kind of have that conversation with yourself.

And for me, it's a place where I can identify where I am and how I'm feeling.

And I know something that you've talked about too, on social media is social media.

And just having that time on your mat where you're disconnected from your phone or any notifications is this really centering moment for me.

And so that's one reason that I love what you're doing and what you're talking about and that you're bringing so much more intentionality to it.

And you used this phrase a few times.

We've talked about community health, community wellness, and how community helped you in your journey.

So let's talk about how is community connected to mental health and to our wellness?

So I'm a Latina, and so community, as a Mexican daughter has been so, so, so important in my life.

My cousins are like my siblings.

We see each other almost every weekend.

And my family's just so I grew up with that being such center, as well as that extending into really close family and friends.

And so again, there's this piece of me that really feels as how can we truly heal isolated.

And we saw a lot of this with the pandemic.

Like, a lot of people were posting about it and talking about it, of how isolation is just hindering and how it can add to anxiety and depression, obviously, and loneliness and so many other things.

And so when I was building Brave, I wanted there to be this sense of community where people could have a space to gather.

So whether again, you're taking a class or you're coming in to see your therapist, that there's this kind of like relaxation room space that you can come and hang out and have some tea and talk to people and then go do your thing.

Or that people come together through community circles and just have these conversations again, building that community, but also building on skills and something that we added on probably like midway through Brave is retreats.

And so retreats come into this space as well, where we take people to an international retreat space and we build even further on community.

They're living together now for a week.

I've noticed so much how people are taking advantage of that, that are coming to the circles, that are just coming and popping by and say hi, that are taking our trainings, that are doing retreats are just healing so much faster and building on their confidence and connections and networking and so much.

So for me, it really just stemmed from my lifestyle.

That's just how I grew up.

That's how I knew life to be is to have that thea, to have that cousin, to have that friend that's just like always around.

And it just provides a sense of grounding and connection and already just softens our nervous system, right?

Like you probably have felt it when you're around just those amazing people.

It just softens your system and it just allows you to take that wherever it's meant to be.

Even this morning, I have this weekly business meetup in Omaha and I go to it every week that I'm in town.

And today one of my best friends came and yesterday, like, she was not feeling her best.

She was kind of getting over a little bit of a cold and was just like texted the group chat and was like, I don't want to do anything.

And I was like, girl, your body probably needs to rest.

But after that morning, right before we hit record, she texted me and she was like, I don't know what it is, but being around people just made me feel so rejuvenated.

And I was like, girl, that's why I go this every week.

It's like, I don't want to go get out of bed and get ready and look good by 8:30am But I always feel better when I do.

And something that I'll add to that is being around the right people.

What are your thoughts on that?

Okay, I will say my second part of the text to her.

I literally said, this is why I go.

Even when I don't want to, I always feel better.

And then in parentheses, I literally said, except for the one in 20 times that none of my girls are there and I'm just stuck talking to people that you know, a lot of men are great, but at this meetup, it's a very business meetup.

And it is like, my girlies, like, they are incredible.

And there was one time this year that none of them were there for, like, the first hour.

And I was like, now I'm just talking to these dudes.

I don't really want to talk to these dudes, you know, and some of them are great.

My client was there today.

He's a male.

He is great.

And she actually, my friend works on this client with me.

So it was fun to get them to actually meet in person for the first time.

But I'm with you.

I'm an extrovert.

There are people who give me so much energy.

And what I have learned throughout the last probably five years is that not everybody gives me energy.

And some people do drain my energy.

Yeah.

And I think that that's important as well, is making sure that we are having that awareness of how does it feel after you leave this interaction, and is it positive or is it draining?

If it's draining, then we're going to do something about that.

So a lot of the things that we talk about at Brave is also just surrounding yourself with your community.

That feels good to you, and what does that look like?

And we have little pockets of communities within even.

That is just so cool to see.

But it's just so important that we really check in with ourselves of, like, what is this doing for us?

How are we contributing as well to our own energy and what we do with that outside of it?

Because it just sprinkles into and leads into so many things in our lives.

So, so important to also check in on that.

Yeah, Denise.

And I'll tell you, I do have a trick, because sometimes, you know, people might not drain your energy in the first five, ten minutes of talking to them, but it's when we continue to stay in the conversation past the point that we want to be there.

That specifically happens to me where I'm in a conversation, and then I'm like, okay, great, I'm done with this conversation.

And it's taken me a long time to learn how to get out of that conversation.

And like you said, listening to your own energy so that you can say, okay, yep, my switch has flipped now.

I no longer want to be in this conversation or at this place.

And as a ADHD girl who didn't know until 27 years old, I always was the last person at a party.

And it's not because I wanted to be.

It's because I didn't know how to leave.

And so now I've learned how to leave an event, how to leave a conversation, and how to just listen to my energy to know it's time.

And I'll tell you my number one trick especially.

I'll be talking to the girls, and then a man will come up, and it is this, like, shift of the girlies ask questions.

The girlies don't dominate the conversation.

A lot of times a man will come up, and then I need for 10 minutes, just talks.

And I've learned.

I'll just be like, it was so great to meet you.

That's it.

Okay, get the signal.

And if they don't, then I'll be like, that's amazing.

Like, I'm gonna go do this thing.

But planning ahead and, like, learning how to get yourself out of that situation when you sense it.

Yeah, Just awareness.

What changes in you and having the awareness of that, pinpointing it ahead of time.

And that can really save you from just feeling so drained after being around people or in an event or whatever that may be.

So I want to get into.

If somebody is not in San Diego, they don't have a holistic mental health studio around them.

Maybe they have yoga.

Maybe they have a therapist.

Like, you talked in the beginning, I loved how you merged these two on the same day, even when they were separate.

If somebody doesn't have Brave Wellness Studio, how can they start to take care of their mental health or see these energetic shifts in them?

What are some of the tips or places to start or encourage them on their own journey?

Well, first of all, we have an app so you can have Brave Wellness Studio wherever you are.

So check out the app.

We have all of our classes on demand and connections and all that stuff on there.

But it really just.

Just depends on what works for you.

So it may not be yoga for everybody.

It may not be Pilates.

It may not even be therapy.

So it could be that it's going to be coaching, that it's going to be, again, going out for a walk.

But it's finding what it is that is going to help heal what you're going through.

So first off, it's awareness.

So have the awareness of what's going on, what is shifting in your body in certain parts of your day or your life or situations.

And that I have actually found is so difficult for some people.

They're like, I don't even know what that means.

Well, it just means to slow down.

And in a life that we live in the world that we live.

That is so difficult.

And like you talked about, you saw it on socials.

Like, that's one of the things that I talk about is really just slowing down to check in with yourself.

So slow down to have the awareness of what actually shifts.

Like, is it just simply your shoulders that react in a certain situation?

Okay, what is that telling you?

What does that mean?

So it's really just finding, after you have that awareness, what works to release that pressure, what works to release the nervous system activation.

And again, for me, it was therapy.

It was yoga and community.

And so I created that.

For some people, it's just going out for a walk and being in nature.

For some people, it's their faith.

For other people, it's coaching, it's cycling.

Insert here.

But having the awareness and then deciding what you want to do with that energy and actually implementing it, because it takes a lifestyle change, really.

You can't just keep doing what you're doing and say that you're going to a yoga class, but you have your phone next to you or going on this nature walk, but you're listening to the podcast about being an overachiever.

We have to slow down in order to really get the signals, because we're just not wired to receive everything this information and to do life the way that we are right now, which is why there's so much anxiety and depression and loneliness in our world.

So creating just the lifestyle to be able to slow down, have the awareness and implement your thing here.

Yeah, because it is when we're around even other people, but especially the phone, the notification.

What I've found too is it's like as soon as you start to be in your own head and you sense a little bit of discomfort, it's so easy to distract by picking up the phone instead of sitting with it.

And I have to say, I'm like, no social media, but also, I love your Instagram.

I just binged through so many of your reels because you show up so often, it feels like, okay, I'm in the moment.

Here's what just happened.

Or here's this conversation I had, and here's what I'm taking away from it, and here's what you can take away from it.

And I love it so much.

And you had one piece of content that you were talking about.

A handful of clients or people you talk to had all been saying that they were feeling the pressure, they were feeling the anxiety lately.

And you said, okay, so what are you doing differently?

Can you kind of expand on that conversation or that idea, yeah.

So it's interesting, as a therapist, sometimes I hear the same thing happen.

Literally, like hour after hour after hour.

When that happens, I almost smile.

I know that sounds terrible, but I smile because it just means that as a collective, we're all feeling the same thing.

And that's where the community piece comes in.

I'm like, yes, let's bring this topic together and talk about it.

50 Of us, not just like one on one.

That's where the true, like, conversation and healing happens.

And so I was asking them, like, what have you done differently?

And most of them are just like, nothing.

I am getting up, I'm doing my routine, I'm working out, I'm coming to see you, I'm going to work, I'm seeing my family, I'm eating good.

And it's like, have we just stopped to think everything that's happening in our world and how are you consuming this information?

So I just, like, lightly throw it out there, like, how are you feeling about everything?

And instantly I see my clients, maybe their shoulders drop, maybe their belly drops, or it's almost like this.

This sigh that comes out and they're like, oh, yes, we can talk about it now.

We can acknowledge it.

So first is acknowledging again and then having that conversation of, where are you getting your information?

Nine times out of ten, it's the scrolling again.

There's nothing wrong with this, but it's like, what are we doing with that knowledge?

It's meant to addict us because it's just a constant scrolling and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, information.

But when you have that much information being fired all at once every 30 seconds from a different person or a different source, gosh, what is that doing to our nervous system?

So I feel like this pressure in my chest, for example, or my belly, or I get a headache all of a sudden, or I'm irritable out of nowhere.

And it's like, have we thought that maybe it's because we're not supposed to consume this much information so fast from one source without taking a break?

So it's just interesting how it has evolved that so much is happening so quickly.

And the funny part is that we actually have control over it, but most people don't know how to control it.

We become addicted.

Or you said earlier, like, it's just what we do.

Like, it's just where we go.

And so it's so fun to be able to have the conversation of, well, you have control over, so what are we gonna do about it?

That real conversation, I love that so much you have control over it.

So what are you going to do about it?

Where is the actual responsibility?

I joke that this podcast should be called Becoming Responsible, but that's way less enticing.

But it is.

I started this podcast because it felt like the world around me growing up, people were complaining, or all the movies were about people waking up in their 50s or 60s and having their egg, pray, love moment because they had stayed in something that made them miserable for so long.

Who's gonna fix that?

Whose responsibility is it if something is making you feel terrible?

Do we even question what we can do about it?

Yeah.

And most people get stuck and I always just say, ain't nobody got time for that.

Like, let's take control and let's do something about it.

Because we only have one life and you're responsible for it.

And letting anybody else or any other thing let you feel anything above amazing.

Not all the time, but most of the time and exhilarated and just in this space of full autonomy, that's nobody's responsibility but yourself.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Ain't nobody got time for that with.

Social media, I've even noticed.

So I use a separate app that I downloaded and paid for to block my social media.

And I have to wait like 60 seconds before it'll let me unblock it because the Apple blockers are not strong enough for me.

But something I have noticed is my algorithm in the morning versus my algorithm at the end of the day is very different.

And without fail, my algorithm in the morning is the news.

Everything terrible that's happened in the afternoon, sometimes it's like really funny stuff.

But in the morning it is never the funny feel good stuff.

And it is almost never anything that I'm getting any joy out of.

And it is the absolute worst way for me to start my day, which is something that I still fall victim to sometimes.

Or I don't want to say victim, but I still do it sometimes.

I still will doom before I start my day, but now I know that it's like if I reach for my phone, it's probably going to be negative and set my day on a tone I don't want.

And it's just that recognition again, that awareness.

Exactly.

And one thing that I talked about and I talked about with my clients and on socials was like, what is Your intention.

So if you're going on there in the morning and you know that it's gonna be a certain way, what is the intention that you're setting for yourself prior to opening up the app so that at least you know that if it's not aligning with that intention again, that you get to decide what you're going to do with that.

Like, if you already know that, then you already know every morning, what intention are you going to set?

Whether it's just I'm here for five seconds to gather information or I'm here to connect with this particular person.

If it's not aligning with that, ain't nobody got time for it.

Move it along.

Okay.

I want to get into your personal journey a little bit because a lot of times it's like, oh, you've created this, this mental health holistic wellness studio.

You must be there.

You must have made it if you created it.

And so how has it been your own journey being a business owner, creating this studio, holding space for so much community, and then also, of course, balancing your own life and mental health and wellness?

Girl, it has been so hard.

I always get the, oh, you're so lucky.

Oh, you have your own business.

You're so lucky.

Oh, it must be so nice to be your own boss.

It's like, huh?

It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

And I was having this conversation with my husband like a week ago or something and I was like, I'm feeling so burnt out.

I feel burnt out myself as well.

I'm human and that happens once in a while.

He was like, do you ever stop to think that you are a entrepreneur with a small business in San Diego, California, where it's like just obnoxiously expensive.

You're a therapist with a group practice, you're a yoga instructor with a yoga studio, and you're a community builder and a content creator and a wife and a dog mom.

And insert here.

It's so hard.

And it's also been the best thing I've ever done.

And a lot of entrepreneurs will understand that piece of like, it's the hardest thing we've done yet.

It's the best thing we've ever done.

And I really see brave as like my child.

I have a seven year old and it has had its ups and downs and I've made mistakes and I've thrived and all of the things.

One of the hardest parts of it has really been trying to find the balance as an entrepreneur.

Like you said earlier, this go Go, go.

And like, it's been really important for me to find my balance in order to be where I'm at and to not burn out fully.

And so for me that just looks like having a routine in place, being able to feel centered most of the time because when I'm not, then I can't make those big decisions.

When I'm not, then my team can't grow and the community can't grow.

And that's the biggest thing is we want to be able the community so that everybody is taken care of if they want to be.

And so what does that look like as me being able to take care of myself first in order for Rave to thrive and to be there for other people.

And so yeah, it's been so interesting to watch myself evolve as an entrepreneur coming from, you know, again, community, mental health, working in corporate to creating my own space to be able to be here for others.

Okay, I have a two part question kind of piggybacking on that.

Part one is what are the first signals that you know about yourself?

That signal burnout is it's coming, it's here.

We need to maybe adjust something.

And then part two is what are the first things that you start to adjust to help push back on that burnout?

When I'm starting to feel burnt out, I don't want to be here and I hate saying that, but it's truth.

I find myself just needing to step away more or needing to take more breaks, maybe a little bit more irritable.

And so when that happens, then it doesn't go to that extreme anymore.

I've really set motions and things in place in order for it not to occur to that degree anymore.

But as that starts to kind of creep in, maybe level one or two, maybe I start to feel just a little bit of the clenching of the jaw or I don't want to make that decision or you know, whatever that may be.

Then I kind of just assess everything.

I'm old school, I love to write things down.

I have a little like notebook with my check marks.

I can't get get into the whole online stuff when it comes to that.

And so I just like kind of journal and like I make a list of everything that's on my mind.

And I do this with clients sometimes if I dump my brain.

And so when I dump my brain then I can really start to see, oh, my energy is going here and I don't have any control over that or my energy's going here and I do have control over that.

So what am I gonna do here?

And so I just kind of, like, create myself a little roadmap, if you will, of, like, what needs to shift.

And oftentimes it's delegating some stuff.

Like, I love to do it all.

And that's, like, the biggest mistake that you can as an entrepreneur.

I'm also an Aquarius, and I can do everything the best quote, unquote.

And so I learned that I need to delegate more, that I need to rely on my amazing team to kind of flourish all these amazing ideas.

So sometimes it is delegating, sometimes it is taking a break, taking a mental health day, take a half mental health day, take a yoga class, us.

Or really, it's the routine.

If I'm not sticking to my routine, I am a complete different human.

And people could tell.

And so my routine is so, so, so important.

And I know that when I start to feel a little bit of the burnout is maybe because I didn't hit most of my things on my routine that I need to on a daily.

Basis, I'm like, yep, I feel that I said that.

I really.

There's something else that you've said that I was like, okay, this is my girl.

Because it's something that I, at the beginning of becoming obsessed, said a lot or I used as this reflection point.

And I think it's still in the welcome sequence.

Everybody go get on our email list where it's asking yourself, what are you most proud of?

And so I wanted to throw that to you, Denise, and ask you in this moment, whether it's a big thing, a little thing, a couple things.

What are you most proud of in your yourself and your life?

I am so proud of the little girl within me.

So a little Denise.

She's probably about, like 8 years old that has done it all, that has gone above and beyond her dreams.

To be able to reach so many people and not throw in the towel and added all these different pieces to what she does to help people, that truly fills her.

And so just kind of taking it back and being proud of her because I feel like she's pushed me a lot.

This is some inner child work for those of you who may or may not know.

But bringing her along through this journey and, like, really checking in with her has been so amazing because I'm proud of myself as my current self for pushing and pulling along with all these things, but it's all for her.

And the things that maybe she needed back in the day, the connections that she needed, the services and things like that.

But really just I'm proud of myself and I'm proud of her for being able to be here seven years in now in our community, helped so many people and will continue to do so.

Did 8 year old Denise ever think about running her own business or even know that was an option?

Oh, my gosh.

20 Year old Denise didn't even think about running her own business.

No.

Yet there was a little light in her that I see now.

I talk with my mom a lot about this because she's always like, I had no idea that you would do what you're doing, but I could totally see it at the same time.

That's a part of my personality, that's a part of who I was.

And it was always wanting to help people and wanting to bring them all together.

And it's so interesting how like little Denise did that and now has created business around that without even knowing that she ever could.

Oh, I love that.

I love it so much.

If you look back at the very, very beginning of becoming obsessed, I would always say little T. I'm like, even I look back six months and I'm like, oh my gosh, little T, look at what she did.

It's almost like it is me, but it's also like my little sister.

I have older siblings.

I don't have any little siblings.

And it is looking back on yourself, whether you see it as yourself or, you know, kind of separate can be so helpful to remember when you're feeling like, oh, I'm not moving fast enough for the timeline to be like, no, look at what she never even dreamed of.

And now we have done it.

Yeah.

And I think that that just helps so much with like, finding our own balance.

As adult humans, we just have this, like, need to do more oftentimes, especially as entrepreneurs.

And we're also kind of bred that way that if we could take it back to basics and check back in with like, who we were and what they needed.

You know, I love that you call her a little T. That is the cutest thing ever.

It's so true.

It's like, look at everything that we've done and how much more we could do if you preserve some of this energy.

I know you've talked about this in prior podcasts of just like needing to go and needing to do more and how that's burned you out.

Like again, here, if we're creating this space and we're doing it for our younger selves and our current selves, imagine what future selves are going to have.

Yeah.

With that I have a couple final questions because I want to know what you're currently obsessed with.

And I can guess that when it comes to moving, playing and creating and slowing down, I'm sure yoga's in there somewhere.

But what are you currently obsessed with in that realm?

I'm actually currently obsessed with weightlifting.

So I'm almost 40 and in the last year I have really tapped into my health and like making sure that I can keep going with balance for.

For every years.

And so I'm currently obsessed with weightlifting and finding my edge through weightlifting while also finding my balance.

Balance with yoga and stretching.

I love it.

And then when it comes to anything that is either entertainment or education, what are you currently listening to?

Reading, watching.

What are you obsessed with?

I am currently reading Jodi Picolt by any other name.

I don't know if you've heard of it.

It is an amazing book and there's a lot of like, feminine energy and just motivation.

And so right now I'm super obsessed with this book.

And I read it every morning.

Sometimes I even reading at night right before I go to bed.

And it's just so powerful and motivating again to just have these amazing reads that are going to fuel how I feel and how I show up.

So currently obsessed with that as well as my little fennel tea.

It just calms my system and I feel just so much more regulated and to those are the two things that I love to do every night.

Okay, so tell me a little bit more about the book.

Is it like fiction, non fiction?

What is the setup?

Yeah, it's fiction.

It talks about just like generational healing as well, which is my jam.

Okay, I'm adding that to my list.

I currently am reading the Women who Run with Wolves.

Oh, I've heard of it.

It's on my list.

How is it?

Yeah, it is amazing.

One of my best friends gave it to me for Christmas.

And it is these fairy tales, myths, just traditional ancient stories.

And the author, she shares these and then really breaks down how they're connected to the woman's psyche and the wild woman.

And it is a fun experience to read it because within the first few chapters I realized I kept wanting to have been the woman who had finished it, if that makes sense.

Where I was like, oh, it's going to be so great when I've read this book.

Instead of being like, it is great that I am currently reading and like right now I am learning.

But I realized I was again that instant gratification.

I was like so ready to be Done.

And the woman who had, like, read it.

So, yeah, I've had, like, a bit of a meta experience with it, but I highly recommend it.

Yeah, you're gonna have to drop it in the show notes.

I definitely want to see that next.

Yeah, yeah, check the show notes.

Speaking of the show notes notes, we'll also have how to connect with you, Denise.

How can somebody get into your world?

Yes.

So come follow me on Instagram.

I am Denise Aalba and Brave Wellness Studio as well.

You can also find me there to work with me.

Denisealba.com follow along.

Come on a retreat with us, Come hang out with us, download the app, get connected somehow.

Because we are just wanting to grow this community and be there for as many people as we can.

Yes.

So you're still listening, which means you should get in touch with us.

Don't just listen from afar.

Come join the community like Denise said.

Go connect with her.

All of her links are in the show notes.

And then come find me on Instagram at Becoming Obsessed Pod.

Or if you're, like, listening and you're like, you know what?

I'm done with social media for a little while.

Gonna be more intentional.

Then just get on our newsletter list.

We send fun weekly thoughts.

I will say weekly ish thoughts of how to just connect with yourself a little bit more, how to build a life that you are obsessed with.

And then send this to a friend who could use the reminder that her life is meant to be lived.

And sometimes that means doing the inner work, and that is where we can find the beauty and the joy.

Okay, everyone, let's go get obsessed.

You're still listening, which means this episode connected with you.

And I want to know how.

Send me a DM on Instagram Becoming Obsessed Pod.

Then send this episode to a friend.

If you know someone who is building a life that they love or they're feeling a little stuck and might just need a nudge, send this to them.

Then rate and review, because it also helps us get the word out.

And as you know, we're on a mission for more people to live a life they truly love.

All right, let's go get obsessed.