Show notes

Building Self-Control: The Path to Personal Resilience

In this episode, Josh dives into the importance of self-control using the analogy of a city wall, referencing Proverbs 25:28. He shares his personal journey of seeking God's help not just to eliminate desires but to develop self-control as a foundational character stone alongside faith, integrity, courage, love, and knowledge. Josh emphasizes that self-control is essential for withstanding life's challenges, drawing from observations of Proverbs 25:28. He discusses the defensive and protective nature of self-control, warning that a lack thereof can lead to destruction, either quickly or over years. The episode stresses the importance of preparation and growth in self-control, even during peaceful times, for overall flourishing and safety. It concludes with quotes from Oswald Chambers and Leon Trotsky on the nature of battle and self-control, followed by reflective questions to encourage personal growth and reliance on God's strength.

00:00 Introduction to Self Control and Spiritual Growth

01:01 Exploring Proverbs 25-28: Insights on Self Control

02:12 Inspirational Quotes on Will and Warfare

02:43 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

03:17 Closing Thoughts: Embracing Resilience and Wisdom

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Oswald Chambers, ​My Utmost for His Highest​

Leon Trotsky, Quoted in Michael Walzer, ​Just and Unjust Wars: A Moral Argument with Historical Illustrations​

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Words of Wisdom 132 On Self Control Like a city wall whose

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walls are broken through is a

person who lacks self control.

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Proverbs 25, 28 I used to pray

and plead that God would take

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away my selfish sexual desire.

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What I didn't realize at the time

was that God was inviting me to

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something far greater, the hard

labor of developing self control.

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You grow resilient only through lifting

and intentionally working on the

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foundational character stones of faith.

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Integrity, courage,

love, and true knowledge.

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Through joyful surrender to God

and taking courageous action,

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I've seen God develop that last

fruit of the Spirit, self control.

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Only by building a strong wall

will you be able to withstand

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the attacks of the evil one.

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Following are some observations

of Proverbs 25 through 28.

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You are responsible for your own life.

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You're the city.

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Life is war, and you are under attack.

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Attack can come from any direction.

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Self control must be comprehensive.

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Self control, the ability to say no or to

manage my emotions and urges for immediate

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pleasure, is defensive and protective.

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There may not be an immediate payoff,

but it allows for the internal

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life and other virtues to grow.

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A compromise in self control

leads to destruction.

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Sometimes the timeline is quick,

sometimes the seeds of destruction

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take years to bear fruit.

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But they always do.

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A compromise in self control in

only one area leads to destruction.

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Your wall doesn't determine your

worth, but it is critical for

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your flourishing and safety.

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In times of peace, prepare for

war by growing in self control.

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Quotes.

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The battle is lost or won in the

secret places of the will before God.

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Never first in the external

world, by Oswald Chambers, in his

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book, My Utmost for His Highest.

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You may not be interested in war,

but war is interested in you, by

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Leon Trotsky, quoted in Michael

Walser's book, Just and Unjust Wars.

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Questions.

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What is an area in your life where

you most need to grow in self control?

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What lies or beliefs do you

need to surrender to God?

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Are you willing to surrender your

struggle and any strongholds to Him today?

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How can you glory in God's

love and strength today?

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Use these questions as a journal prompt

and to guide your prayers this week.

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And note, it turns out God is

interested in your resilience,

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not just your avoidance of sin.

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Live wisely, Josh