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This is the last of my 5 part mini-series on confidence, the 5C Confidence Formula, and how to use the 5C formula in a way that’s practical and effective so you can continue to create the impact you’ve been dreaming of. 

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Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host, Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started.

Hello, friends, and welcome to this episode of she coaches coaches. This is the final episode in my five part mini series about confidence. You have learned so much. And I'm so pleased that you join me. We started with dismantling the why faking it till you make it might actually hurt more than it helps. Then we moved over to the three big lies, we often tell ourselves about confidence. We talked about three truths that will help you build your confidence. And then I gave you an overview of my five c confidence formula. Today, we're going to talk about how to use the five c confidence formula easily and effectively. How to really put it into practice and get the most from it. Oh yeah. And before I dive in, here's your thought for today. I am a priority, I keep the commitments I make to myself. Now in the past few episodes, I've given you these powerful thoughts, I reminded you, you are far more capable than you know, I asked you to remember that a lack of confidence doesn't mean you're not ready. And I've touched on this time, I want to see what happens if I don't give up. Today's thought, I am a priority, I keep the commitments I make to myself. If you like these kind of encouraging thoughts, I got a treat for you. When you sign up for my free coaches Online Business Academy. That's the place where I store all kinds of great resources to help you in there, I have added something new, I created free screensavers their graphics that I created with the help of Canva. And you can use them for your phones homescreen. It's a really, really helpful way to remind yourself to practice those powerful thoughts. Because when you think better, you're going to feel better, you're going to feel more confident. And you're going to find that it's so much easier to make the changes that you want in your life. For me, changing my phone homescreen is one of the key ways that I remind myself to practice certain intentional thoughts. When we practice a thought over and over. And we do it with feeling that thought becomes a belief. And that belief drives everything that we do. Our thoughts are optional. And it's amazing how easy it can be for us to learn and integrate new thoughts. When we choose powerful thoughts, we create the emotions that go with them, those emotions that we love to have, like inspired and determined and motivated and committed. And since our feelings fuel our actions, the more we take supportive and empowering actions, we actually take power away from our tendency to procrastinate and avoid. I'll put the link to sign up in the show notes, then you can sign up for your free account, download the graphics and start practicing those thoughts today. Alright, so for today, how can you use this five see confidence formula in a simple step by step practical and effective way? That's what we're going to talk about. So, a quick recap. This is just in case you haven't listened to my previous episode. And if that's the way it is, no problem. Keep listening. Then cue that one up and listen to it to the first C is deciding commit that word commit. Everything starts with a decision. Nothing changes until you make a decision and then commit to taking one small step. The second C is courage. That's the step that you need to be courageous and take action. We have to move through the discomfort of Curt courage to reach confidence. The third C is capable. With repeated learning and practice you're going to start to feel and think like Hey, we're starting to make headway here, the force see confidence, that is the feeling that we are all wanting. And fifth, compassion is the fifth see, actually self compassion. And I share with you the practice of self compassion, and how it will make your path to confidence so much easier. Because when you're kind to yourself instead of mean, you're far more likely to keep going and build your confidence. So how do you use this five see formula? First, you remember, it's a cycle, it's not a ladder, it doesn't have an end goal of being permanently confident. It's a cycle that we all go through. Once you feel confident in one area, more than likely, you're going to be ready for that next turn around. I love to use the metaphor of riding the Ferris wheel, you know what that's like, you inch towards the top of the wheel. And then when you're there, all you see is the view, you can see everything and it feels amazing. But the Ferris wheel always keeps moving. And soon you're moving down to the bottom again, right, and ready to ride it back to the top. I know you might have forgotten that it took effort and practice to get to the top the first time. And it's gonna need effort and practice the second and third and fourth time to you might only remember the view. But now it's time to start fresh. So every time that you're after confidence in an area of your life, you're going to be like you're riding that ferris wheel. Now, for me, I always begin by asking myself this one question. Where am I right now?

Do I feel like a crap or somewhere in between between? Am I second guessing myself? Am I swirling in my head? Confused, overwhelmed, lost? Am I procrastinating? If your thoughts sound something like this? Oh, no, I don't think so. Or I don't know what I'm doing. Or I'll wait until tomorrow. This is never going to work. You might be what I call in the woods. When you're in the woods. It's like we're in the forest bushwhacking. We're stumbling around, we might know that we want to get to the viewpoint. But we're looking for the easy path. We're not even on the path because well, that sure looks hard. You might be in the woods for a long, long time. Even after you reach that last goal and felt unstoppable confidence, you're probably still going to land back here in the woods before the next level. I do it, you do it. Don't worry, nothing has gone wrong. When we're in the woods were part of the journey. You just need to use this metaphor, stop, drop and roll. And yeah, I know. It's kind of a funny phrase. And but it really works. So when we don't know where we're at, we stop means we pause. We drop. We drop in, we notice with kindness and curiosity. And then we roll means we take the next step, we stop, we drop and roll. Now, if you're in the woods, your next step, when you stop, drop and roll is going to be to get onto the path onto the path of the five C's of confidence. The first step in the path is decide and commit. So you can be anywhere feeling lost and confused and overwhelmed and filled with self doubt. And when you stop and pause, you drop in and notice with kindness and curiosity, then you can recognize the next step role is to get onto the path of decide and commit. So here's what I mean. Wherever you are, there you are, identify where you are, and take one step, only the next step. You just need to do the stop, drop and roll. And if you're in the woods, that next step is to decide and commit. Once you've made that small decision and committed to that one next step, then your next place is to move to courage. The second C deciding commit often sounds something like I've decided to or it might sound like you know what? I will take this one step Correct. Sounds like lets go. Or it feels scary until you do it. And then it may feel exhilarating after. Once you move through deciding commit that first see, and courage, the second See, then you keep going, and you move on to capable. Once you're capable the third See, you're starting to get some momentum and it is a natural slide for you to eventually land into confidence. Now listen, I may know that this sounds so easy and unrealistic. But stick with me here. Our thoughts create our feelings, all of these c's courage, confidence capable, they're all feelings. And our feelings come and go with time, just like the waves on the ocean. For most of my clients, the hardest part, the place where they struggled the most is making decisions, and then having the courage to take the next step.

And sometimes even more than that, the biggest learning that we all go through is building a compassionate relationship with ourselves. No matter what we've accomplished in the past, no matter how much success you have had. This is often the stickiest point, because we never learned how to treat ourselves with honor, respect, compassion, and kindness. So you might wake up every day feeling confused and overwhelmed and lost and black and in the woods. And your only thing to do is to get on the path out of the woods by using deciding commit. So you may be repeating yuck deciding commit overwhelmed deciding commit last deciding commit for a while. And that is okay. Because it's actually part of the process. Now, you know, that deciding commit, when you get there, it means you are moving towards confidence. So you're actually getting onto the path. And that is a success, you're moving out of the woods and onto the path of confidence. Or maybe your pattern is to avoid discomfort. And you shy away from even small acts of bravery. They just feel like it's too scary, right? If that's you practice your self compassion, which sounds like practicing your thoughts, saying things to yourself, like, I've got your back no matter what happens. Or no matter what happens, I won't be mean to you. We're going to grow from this. And you're going to practice feeling cultivating feelings of security, and comfort and curiosity. And remind yourself of those times where you've already been that courageous person. And soon, you'll be able to be able to take that next step. So to wrap it up, and put the five c formula into practice, use the three part Stop, drop and roll metaphor. Number one, your approach is to stop. That means pause and take a breath. Then we drop in, you notice, where are you right now? Where am I? And we notice it with kindness and curiosity. And maybe we even ask, How do I feel? Now, if I've decided I know what my next step is, it's time for a dash of courage. But if I'm confused and overwhelmed, then my next step is to make a decision. If I've been making great strides, large or small, I know that I'm capable, and that just around the corner, if I just keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to land in confidence. So your approach is to stop and drop in and then roll, which is take the next step. Not any old next step. But the next sequential step in the five c confidence formula, where the five C's are deciding commit. Number two is courage. capable. Number four is confidence and finally, compassion. And regardless, whenever you feel completely lost and stuck, always cultivate self compassion. Treat yourself with the respect and kindness, not to make excuses but to allow yourself to be human. Because that way, you're going to have an easier time finding and taking the next step on your path. Wow. You guys, I'm so glad you joined me today in the last of this five part mini series. I trust that you learned a lot and that you're putting it into action to make a difference in your life. Share these episodes on confidence with your friends and family. I record them too. Support coaches. But this is a universal formula that can help anyone as soon as they learn it and start using it for themselves. Thank you for helping me share these concepts so we can create a lasting and positive impact on our community. Did you know that I love my clients, they're high achievers, and I'm always honored to invite you to be part of my community too. If you're ready to get started, sign up for that free resource library, the coaches Online Business Academy, there's a ton of free help there waiting for you right now. And don't forget to download those inspiring, free screensavers. And if you want even more help, maybe you've had just enough of the trial and error or trying to figure it all out on your own. And now you want to work more closely with somebody, we should chat. Click the link in the Episode Notes to find out how to apply to work with me. I'll be back and speak with you again next week.