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130: Braun Electric Razor - 5(?) Star Review
Episode 13029th November 2023 • Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey • The Review Queens
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The Queens get hairy as they rate and review a ... 5 (??) Star Amazon Review for the Braun Electric Razor For Men, Series 9 Pro. Chelsey comes in hot with some scalding truths about retail holiday pushing and it's time to take a moment and thanks all the blue light blocking that just suddenly started happening. If you think you've met a STAR Reviewer before today's episode, let us set you right!

(01:06) Listener Voicemail!

(04:18) Lodge a Complaint

(09:12) Review

(29:54) Exclusive Offer

(32:35) My Royal Highness

(35:17) On This Week's After Show Pod


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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 


---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


Transcripts

VOICEOVER:

Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's to Review That Review!

CHELSEY DONN:

Hello,

TREY GERRALD:

Hi, and welcome to Review That Review.

TREY GERRALD:

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing That's Chelsey Donn,

CHELSEY DONN:

that's Trey Gerald,

TREY GERRALD:

together we are

VOICEOVER:

Review Queens,

CHELSEY DONN:

that's right,

TREY GERRALD:

But first, Chelsey, as we're in this last week of November, is there anything that you would like to

VOICEOVER:

Ledge a Complaint,

CHELSEY DONN:

there is actually, yes, Trey, thank you for giving me the floor, thank you for giving me this moment, so as we've gotten older, we all know that time starts to move faster, and I think there's many things that are responsible for this.

CHELSEY DONN:

One, of course, age, your proximity to the year, right, gets kind of further and further apart.

CHELSEY DONN:

But really, I think a huge part of this problem are these, let's call them Thank Retail holiday pushers.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay?

CHELSEY DONN:

Now, whenever a holiday hasn't even started yet, we're already on to the next holiday.

TREY GERRALD:

Thank you

CHELSEY DONN:

There's never a moment where we can just revel in where we're at.

CHELSEY DONN:

You're not allowed to be in Thanksgiving, you have to already be at Christmas, you can't be at Christmas, you have to already be at New Year's, you can't be at New Year's, you gotta already be at Valentine's Day, and then Easter, and then, it's just, it never stops, and I think it's partially responsible for this feeling of time is just moving by so fast, because even when you're not in that future place, You are, you know, it's like by the time Halloween happens, Do you not feel like it's been Halloween for months?

CHELSEY DONN:

By the time Thanksgiving, same thing.

CHELSEY DONN:

It's like, I feel like by the time it comes, it's so anticlimactic.

TREY GERRALD:

No, I mean, I was literally just at Target, and they already have New Year's stuff

CHELSEY DONN:

I know, it's unbelievable.

CHELSEY DONN:

It's just, we can't, we can never just be where we're at.

CHELSEY DONN:

And I get it from a consumer standpoint.

CHELSEY DONN:

You know, I understand like, You have to be ahead of it, but it just feels like aggressive.

CHELSEY DONN:

And then, you know, I go to like CVS regularly to get prescriptions, that seasonal aisle,

TREY GERRALD:

Oh my god.

TREY GERRALD:

Oh my god.

CHELSEY DONN:

I just can't, like, I'm like, where am I?

CHELSEY DONN:

What time is it?

CHELSEY DONN:

What year is it?

CHELSEY DONN:

What's going on?

CHELSEY DONN:

And also like in the summer when they like, they stay, you know, immediately start with the back to school before like even July 4th, I'm just, stop it.

TREY GERRALD:

I mean, this retail holiday pushers, that's such an interesting phrase, because I think you're so on to something about, like, there is that joke, like, oh, it's already, this is out, but it really is a thing.

CHELSEY DONN:

yeah, it's pushing, it's

TREY GERRALD:

And it is retai it is like corporate retails pushing us outside of being present.

TREY GERRALD:

Now what, okay, so if that is one scenario, what do you think of the people that don't shop for stuff until after that holiday has passed so that they get the clearance?

CHELSEY DONN:

queenly, honestly,

TREY GERRALD:

that's pretty queenly, but they're living in the, they're living in the far future.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think it's the only way, truly, to beat them at their own game, that's the other thing that's so crazy about it, is like, it's a seasonal item, it's hot, it's a hot ticket item, you gotta buy it, top dollar, whatever, and then the day after the holiday, it's like, clearance, 50 percent off, because they wanna get the next.

CHELSEY DONN:

Stuff in there.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, I don't, I could never be the person to buy it after.

TREY GERRALD:

I don't have that, like, I don't have that wherewithal.

CHELSEY DONN:

I mean, I think it depends on what it is.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like if it's like, oh, it's a candy thing and I was gonna buy the candy anyway, but am I fine with having the like Christmas trees and February as long as they're not expired?

CHELSEY DONN:

Probably fine with that for like 75 percent off.

TREY GERRALD:

It's a really interesting complaint.

TREY GERRALD:

It really is, like, it's an epidemic.

TREY GERRALD:

It

CHELSEY DONN:

It just really robs you of that present moment of being able to live in wherever we're at.

TREY GERRALD:

And I think, like, if CVS is doing it, and I'm Rite Aid, well then I gotta start doing it, because if CVS is gonna be making those sales that potentially we could be making in a month, I wanna be making them now too, like, I feel like everyone, I wonder who started, who was responsible for this?

CHELSEY DONN:

Hallmark?

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD:

Oh my god, Hallmark, poor Hallmark, they probably don't even exist

CHELSEY DONN:

I know, right?

CHELSEY DONN:

I know.

CHELSEY DONN:

They really took the fall, but the Hallmark

TREY GERRALD:

complaint, great

TREY GERRALD:

complaint, Chelsey, I really do hear it, I suffer from it as well.

CHELSEY DONN:

Right?

CHELSEY DONN:

Let's live in the moment, you guys.

CHELSEY DONN:

It's not Christmas yet, okay?

CHELSEY DONN:

Let's not jump into the new year just yet.

CHELSEY DONN:

Give me a second to catch my breath.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, let's take a breath.

TREY GERRALD:

Well, do you want to jump into an online review and stay present while we do

CHELSEY DONN:

Please, I would love that.

TREY GERRALD:

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review,

CHELSEY DONN:

As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens.

CHELSEY DONN:

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

TREY GERRALD:

We read you the review, we break it down and rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns.

TREY GERRALD:

This is a very regal process that we call

VOICEOVER:

Assess That Kvetch, It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,

CHELSEY DONN:

That's right, and Trey, it is your turn this week.

CHELSEY DONN:

What have you brought in for us?

TREY GERRALD:

Okay, I'm excited about this because it's a little off the wall, but this is a product that since selecting, I have made a different choice, but Today, we're gonna do a five star Amazon review for a product that I have been eyeballing.

TREY GERRALD:

Chelsey, literally, I have been looking at this product probably, honestly, probably two years plus.

TREY GERRALD:

And I just can't bring myself to, like, purchase it because the price point is so high.

TREY GERRALD:

So today, Chelsey, I'm gonna need you to help me with this.

TREY GERRALD:

We are going to rate and review this five star Amazon review for Braun Electric Razor for Men, Series 9 Pro, 9465 CC, Wet and Dry Electric Foil Shaver with Pro Lift Beard Trimmer, Cleaning and Charging Smart Care Center, Noble Metal.

TREY GERRALD:

So what do you get out of that?

TREY GERRALD:

What is this?

CHELSEY DONN:

So it's a, it's an electric face shaver.

CHELSEY DONN:

And then what is the price?

TREY GERRALD:

Okay, so this one, so the 9465CC is like the specific version.

TREY GERRALD:

So this one is 294.

TREY GERRALD:

94.

TREY GERRALD:

That's at an 11 percent discount.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

TREY GERRALD:

Because it's supposed to be $329 and 99 cents, and I screenshotted this back on Prime Day in October, hoping it would go down on Prime Day, and that was the prime day discount was 11%.

TREY GERRALD:

Go fuck yourself.

CHELSEY DONN:

So the normal price for this is 329.

TREY GERRALD:

Yes, but that's the cheaper version that I hearted because you can also get it with this like portable charging device and that price point.

TREY GERRALD:

That's the 9 4 7 7 cc, and that's $349 and 99 cents.

CHELSEY DONN:

Wow.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

TREY GERRALD:

So part of the reason why it is so exorbitant in price is because this specific Braun razor shaver has a little dish that it sits in upside down that charges it, but it also cleans it out after use with water and then re lubricates the blades to make it last longer.

CHELSEY DONN:

Wow.

CHELSEY DONN:

So it's like, it's like a it's like a robo vacuum that like empties itself or whatever.

TREY GERRALD:

That's exactly right.

TREY GERRALD:

So it is like a little

CHELSEY DONN:

So it's very fancy.

TREY GERRALD:

It's about it's a fancy product.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN:

All

TREY GERRALD:

And I have just been yearning for this for such a long time, but I can't bring myself to do it.

TREY GERRALD:

So anyway, so today I'm going to share with you Star.

TREY GERRALD:

The reviewers name is Star.

CHELSEY DONN:

Wow.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay, star.

TREY GERRALD:

This is the actual top review on Amazon.

TREY GERRALD:

This is the first one that you will see.

TREY GERRALD:

It is a 5 star verified purchase and this style just for note is 9 S, so it is actually a different version, but here we go.

TREY GERRALD:

Stars, Subjectives.

TREY GERRALD:

This is my first opinion!

TREY GERRALD:

Of this product, dash and from what I see, dash.

TREY GERRALD:

Wow.

TREY GERRALD:

Unreal.

TREY GERRALD:

How great it is.

TREY GERRALD:

And just for, you know, a point of clarification, I is not capitalized.

TREY GERRALD:

That bothers me.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

TREY GERRALD:

So here we go.

TREY GERRALD:

I bought three electric G razors in my life, all NCOs.

TREY GERRALD:

20 years.

TREY GERRALD:

After the third time I tried an electric crazier.

TREY GERRALD:

I declared they would never, ever get better.

TREY GERRALD:

When I had the Norelco electric razors, the following was my experience.

TREY GERRALD:

My Shave Prep, 1.

TREY GERRALD:

I have, have always owned something like Baby Bliss Pro Gold FX.

TREY GERRALD:

I used this to trim my whiskers down, as close as I could get them, 2.

TREY GERRALD:

I did a quick wash and dry Parentheses face, three.

TREY GERRALD:

After drying, 15 minutes or so, I would use the Norelco.

TREY GERRALD:

It was torture!

TREY GERRALD:

It didn't cut the whiskers.

TREY GERRALD:

It tried to tear them from my face.

TREY GERRALD:

I then spent 15 plus minutes trying to get it to shave my face.

TREY GERRALD:

I hated it.

TREY GERRALD:

I said I bought three of them.

TREY GERRALD:

And I did.

TREY GERRALD:

I would buy one, hate it worse than anything, Quit using it over a number of years, Always thinking they would get better, Dash, they never got better, I swore to everyone, It's pure torture, And you will never get a good shave unless you torture, Period.

TREY GERRALD:

Yourself, for 40 minutes, trying to get a clean shave.

TREY GERRALD:

Worst experience ever!

TREY GERRALD:

I swore then and there, as I tossed my very expensive raiders in the trash, That I would never buy another electric razor.

TREY GERRALD:

Not ever.

TREY GERRALD:

Okay, so, I am on the road for work a lot.

TREY GERRALD:

I was showing up with whiskers.

TREY GERRALD:

I was back to using my usual Baby Bliss Pro Barbarology Gold Fix, which I love, If you don't have one, get one, it's the best!,

TREY GERRALD:

in parentheses.

TREY GERRALD:

While my Gold FX really took the whiskers down, it wasn't giving me the clean cut my clients expect.

TREY GERRALD:

Long story short, I was convinced to try the brawn.

TREY GERRALD:

Thank I rolled my eyes and said, It will tear the hair out of my face, Per gash exclamation money act, me off, I would return it and never ever order another electric razor, I knew what was going to happen, pain, torture, 15 minutes of trying to get it to cut the whiskers,

CHELSEY DONN:

god.

TREY GERRALD:

again, three, top of the line.

TREY GERRALD:

Yes, twenty plus years ago, electric razors, and all I got was torture and a worthless shave, All three over a ten year span, all top of the line, Simply ripped the whiskers from my face, Nothing that painful in the shave world, It would teak thirty plus minutes of constantly trying to get a clean shave.

TREY GERRALD:

Okay!

TREY GERRALD:

Blah, blah, you get the idea.

TREY GERRALD:

So I got this Braun 9.

TREY GERRALD:

It was dead, so I charged it.

TREY GERRALD:

I used my gold FX to cut Whiskers short, Washed my face in the morning before leaving the house, Grabbed my charged brawn, Was 100 percent ready for the pain, I knew I had to endure it, Because I am on the road, Meeting customers and need a clean shave,

CHELSEY DONN:

God.

TREY GERRALD:

I stopped outside the client's office, Took out the brawn, took a bunch of deep breaths, saying, I can do this, it's only 20 minutes of hell.

TREY GERRALD:

When the brawn touched my face, heard the sound of hair getting cut, but felt ZERO!

TREY GERRALD:

I thought, what in the world?

TREY GERRALD:

Is this even working?

TREY GERRALD:

I stopped and touched my face, it was baby butt smooth.

TREY GERRALD:

What is the hell?

TREY GERRALD:

thought.

TREY GERRALD:

Is this a trick?

TREY GERRALD:

I shaved my face in 40 seconds.

TREY GERRALD:

It was baby butt smooth.

TREY GERRALD:

Zero pain.

TREY GERRALD:

I think I went into some sort of dream after that.

TREY GERRALD:

This is by far the biggest shock surprise I have had in a long time.

TREY GERRALD:

I could not believe it was real.

TREY GERRALD:

This is a 5 plus star product.

TREY GERRALD:

I gave three stars on everything, only because I have not had it long enough to know if it's good in those areas or not.

TREY GERRALD:

But, I will say, Home Run!

TREY GERRALD:

I never believed this could possibly happen.

TREY GERRALD:

I was convinced, you just don't use electric.

TREY GERRALD:

Brawn!

TREY GERRALD:

Wow!

TREY GERRALD:

Home Run!

TREY GERRALD:

This is beyond my wildest imagination.

TREY GERRALD:

I never thought anything like this was possible.

TREY GERRALD:

I could not even tell this was on my face.

TREY GERRALD:

Five star.

TREY GERRALD:

I will up the other stars once I have had it a while.

TREY GERRALD:

Great work!

CHELSEY DONN:

Oh my God.

CHELSEY DONN:

Star.

TREY GERRALD:

What in the hell was that?

CHELSEY DONN:

my God.

CHELSEY DONN:

So many questions.

CHELSEY DONN:

What was that?

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

TREY GERRALD:

This is the top review on Amazon, by the way.

TREY GERRALD:

This is the review that shows up first.

CHELSEY DONN:

I know, I mean, this is what happens with these kind of FACACTA reviews, okay, so,

TREY GERRALD:

Walk me through.

CHELSEY DONN:

this is like a four review in one, I wrote down a few times in my notebook, when are we going to get to the actual review?

TREY GERRALD:

Thank you!

CHELSEY DONN:

Because what the hell were we talking about?

CHELSEY DONN:

That's not, that's my number one question,

TREY GERRALD:

And repeating the same story nine

CHELSEY DONN:

repeating, yeah, so then the second thing is the repetition, which is just at every phase, it's, it's extremely repetitive,

TREY GERRALD:

Yes!

CHELSEY DONN:

to the point of, like, Becoming very confusing at times because I'm like, what are we talking about now?

CHELSEY DONN:

Like at one point, did we get another brawn at one point that was bad?

CHELSEY DONN:

Cause I thought we, we brought up brawn in like a negative sense.

CHELSEY DONN:

And then we moved on to the positive review.

CHELSEY DONN:

So I'm like

TREY GERRALD:

you're right.

CHELSEY DONN:

about that.

CHELSEY DONN:

And then also remind me just because like there was so much happening and I was writing so much about like what's going on and the spelling, whatever, but what does this person do for a living?

TREY GERRALD:

I don't know, but they're on the road.

CHELSEY DONN:

They're on the road, they have customers and these customers expect them to be very, very clean shaven.

TREY GERRALD:

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN:

Interesting.

CHELSEY DONN:

I like want to know what it is that they do.

CHELSEY DONN:

We could, we

TREY GERRALD:

I wonder if they're a traveling salesman or

CHELSEY DONN:

They sound like a traveling salesman.

CHELSEY DONN:

I wonder what they're selling.

TREY GERRALD:

And then also just, I do want to clarify here.

TREY GERRALD:

It does list itself as a five star, so they did change it at some point, but they never went back to write, I've had it, and now it's a five star.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, so I was gonna ask you about that.

CHELSEY DONN:

So, like, they said the three star, the five star, whatever.

CHELSEY DONN:

So, like, I thought that they gave it five stars because, but Amazon doesn't do this.

CHELSEY DONN:

You know how, like, on TripAdvisor, you can give five stars, but then afterwards you do, like, a breakdown?

TREY GERRALD:

Mm

CHELSEY DONN:

I thought that that was what they were saying.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like I'm giving it five stars, but I still mean to give it like three stars across the board on all the categories because like, I don't really know like the longevity of the product.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like, is it going to last a long time?

CHELSEY DONN:

Is it going to be like this clean shaven experience for the first couple of weeks?

CHELSEY DONN:

And then it's going to be just like the, all the others.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like I, I couldn't really tell what they were saying with

TREY GERRALD:

I think Star is just doing that on their own, but they just never, because they're saying it's a five plus star product, I just haven't had it, so it's three.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, exactly.

CHELSEY DONN:

So it's like I don't that that makes me just wonder like did they give this a five star from the start?

CHELSEY DONN:

I

TREY GERRALD:

Oh, maybe you are right,

CHELSEY DONN:

you know what I mean?

TREY GERRALD:

sentence is five star.

TREY GERRALD:

I will up the other stars once I have had it a while.

TREY GERRALD:

Wait,

CHELSEY DONN:

right.

TREY GERRALD:

did, was it originally five?

TREY GERRALD:

Or was it originally three?

TREY GERRALD:

And they did change it to five, but they never changed the narrative.

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like I, it's weird.

CHELSEY DONN:

I just feel like they're going to come on at some point and add an addendum to the review and be like five stars, like five stars in, in longevity, five stars.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like, you know, are they planning to come back?

TREY GERRALD:

Cause that's very Yelp.

CHELSEY DONN:

exactly.

TREY GERRALD:

I, I don't know.

TREY GERRALD:

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN:

And then also, okay, so I wanted to ask you, because obviously you were looking to buy this product, so I assume you've used other Shades, like electric razors before, is it common for them to be like super painful like this?

TREY GERRALD:

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD:

I mean, ironically, the one I have is a Philips Norelco.

TREY GERRALD:

And that was the three different versions that Star had in the past.

TREY GERRALD:

And I also would imagine that, you know, the shaving has changed a little bit in 20 years, but there is a distinction in electric shavers.

TREY GERRALD:

There are circular ones that pick up hair and cut, and then there are also straight

CHELSEY DONN:

straight yes, that are more like a razor.

TREY GERRALD:

it really, in all of the studying I have done, the varying version you choose is very, like, individual on how, like, your hair pattern is on your face, but I don't think it's pleasurable, but it doesn't, I mean, I guess if your hair is too long, which is why Star goes into so much story

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, that's like so weird too, like, so they used another razor first, and then they were using this as their like car touch up right before?

TREY GERRALD:

well, that's what's confusing to me because, yes, if you try to electric shave really long hair, it's gonna pull it.

TREY GERRALD:

Like that does feel like it's tearing.

TREY GERRALD:

Cause I've even done that too, Chelsey, where like the hair is just too long to run it straight through.

TREY GERRALD:

And sometimes I'll do that with a straight razor too.

TREY GERRALD:

Like if I'm going to

CHELSEY DONN:

So you'll like do a straight razor first or something like that, and

TREY GERRALD:

well, I wouldn't do a straight razor first, but even if I am straight razoring, I will use an electric trimmer, like if my facial hair is too thick

CHELSEY DONN:

so you'll trim it and then you'll yeah,

TREY GERRALD:

right.

CHELSEY DONN:

so is that what they're saying they did like that They like trimmed it or whatever with that first trimmer, and then they

TREY GERRALD:

That's the whole conversation about the whiskers over

CHELSEY DONN:

okay, okay?

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, I know a lot of whisker comments.

CHELSEY DONN:

I just think this review is so interesting especially as like you said a first review for a product because so much of the real estate is is spent talking about these other products and I get it like to a degree, right?

CHELSEY DONN:

Because the person purchasing this, even you, who's like deciding whether or not to purchase this, might be thinking like, do I want to invest the money?

CHELSEY DONN:

Although I don't know, are those other ones much cheaper?

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN:

There's a wide range but like maybe you're thinking I don't want to spend the money or whatever so maybe you do need to hear these comparisons be like look I went down all these different roads and nothing worked but I still think that the proportion is really off here for

TREY GERRALD:

I agree.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, I could have definitely used an etta and a

CHELSEY DONN:

I mean, just it could have used a real trim, okay?

CHELSEY DONN:

Like this was just too much information at the top about these other products for not good enough of a payoff of the baby's bottom, the baby's.

CHELSEY DONN:

Bottom, the baby's butt, or whatever they kept

TREY GERRALD:

Baby's butt, yeah.

CHELSEY DONN:

over and over again at the end of this review.

CHELSEY DONN:

I mean, like, I was happy that we finally got there.

CHELSEY DONN:

We really had to sludge through though.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, and this whole spelling grammar,

CHELSEY DONN:

Oh God, a lot of spelling errors.

TREY GERRALD:

and every time it's, every time that star writes the word I, It is always lowercase, even when it's like an all caps rant, which really

CHELSEY DONN:

I was going to ask you about that.

CHELSEY DONN:

So then, like, there were these random caps lock moments in the middle of it.

CHELSEY DONN:

Do you feel like there was, that was like intentional?

TREY GERRALD:

I don't, I, you know,

CHELSEY DONN:

I was like, did they hit the caps lock key and then be like, F it?

CHELSEY DONN:

Like,

TREY GERRALD:

I think that might have happened.

TREY GERRALD:

I think they might have accidentally had the caps locks on after like, you know, I would never buy an electric razor again.

TREY GERRALD:

Okay, so I'm on the road to work for a lot.

TREY GERRALD:

I'm on the road for work a lot.

TREY GERRALD:

Like that feels like that's not supposed to be in

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like maybe they wanted to do that, like one phrase in caps and they just like left it on and they

TREY GERRALD:

but then they drop their other product, Baby Bliss Pro Barbarology Gold FX, like that's not in caps.

TREY GERRALD:

So I,

CHELSEY DONN:

Maybe they like pasted in the name.

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD:

Oh, right.

TREY GERRALD:

And then they also randomly typo say Raiders instead of Razors.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN:

No, there were definitely lots of weird.

TREY GERRALD:

Also, if you have to say, okay, blah, blah, you get the idea, then you need to cut.

TREY GERRALD:

Like,

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

CHELSEY DONN:

You're already blah blahing.

TREY GERRALD:

you're blah blah ing yourself.

CHELSEY DONN:

We don't need that.

CHELSEY DONN:

The home run section?

TREY GERRALD:

Oh yeah, do you think they like, they must be a

CHELSEY DONN:

I guess they're a baseball fan.

TREY GERRALD:

Also, it's really, I guess, like their pain tolerance is really low, because yes, having your hair torn out of your face is painful, but it's like, to have this much agita about like, okay, deep breaths, I can do this, it's only 20 minutes of

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like, you have to give yourself a tap.

CHELSEY DONN:

That's why I was asking you, like, is it this big of a deal

TREY GERRALD:

It should not be.

TREY GERRALD:

It really should not be.

TREY GERRALD:

So which I think that actually adds to the value here.

TREY GERRALD:

Like, if you've had this extreme of a negative experience of shaving your face with an electric shaver, and this is literally like, I didn't even know it was on my face.

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

TREY GERRALD:

That is pretty high praise.

TREY GERRALD:

Do you think that they're being truthful here?

TREY GERRALD:

Right, did they used

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think it's weird.

CHELSEY DONN:

It's like bordering into that shady land of why are we like calling out so many different products by name and then sort of like, right, like, exactly.

CHELSEY DONN:

Like, is there some sort of vendetta?

CHELSEY DONN:

Were you a traveling salesperson for Morocco?

CHELSEY DONN:

And then you were like, I'm going to take them down

TREY GERRALD:

Wait, well, if you were, then you would have to be clean shaven.

CHELSEY DONN:

Right, we've got it.

CHELSEY DONN:

We've cracked the

TREY GERRALD:

We figured it out.

TREY GERRALD:

Star works for

CHELSEY DONN:

Starworks for, yeah, That's what it almost feels like.

CHELSEY DONN:

It's just, it's so weird to, again, spend so much real estate on that.

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN:

I just can't really get over that.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, I think it's a major flaw here, to be

CHELSEY DONN:

and is it funny or Entertaining?

CHELSEY DONN:

There's

TREY GERRALD:

think that Star, I don't think Star was intending to be funny, ever.

CHELSEY DONN:

Right, I agree.

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't think Star was, mm

TREY GERRALD:

Well, what, do you?

CHELSEY DONN:

be entertaining.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think maybe Star was.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think Star is the kind of person that tells, like, really long, repetitive stories all the time that they think are really interesting and entertaining, but they're not.

TREY GERRALD:

for sure.

CHELSEY DONN:

But then, like, in a way, it becomes entertaining because it's just, like, so absurd.

TREY GERRALD:

It's such a snapshot of this person's neuroses.

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD:

I don't know about common, typical fluke.

TREY GERRALD:

It seems like Star has a real specific history with electric shavers.

CHELSEY DONN:

Definitely.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think that Starr has an experience that not everybody that's buying this product will have, but I imagine because you're a review queen and you've been circling this product for a long time that the overall rating on this is probably pretty high.

TREY GERRALD:

Well, I think the impact really does come from the very specific, nuanced opinion about electric shavers and how this really has swayed them.

TREY GERRALD:

Like, I think I'll have to consider that, you

CHELSEY DONN:

Right.

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, so I do think there's an impact there.

CHELSEY DONN:

Anything else that we need to consider before we go into the crowning?

TREY GERRALD:

I don't think so.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN:

Long time.

CHELSEY DONN:

All right, let's.

TREY GERRALD:

Home run!

TREY GERRALD:

Wow!

TREY GERRALD:

Alright, so, Chelsey and I each have our own set of 0 5 crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influence each other, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are tabulating.

VOICEOVER:

Total Score,

CHELSEY DONN:

okay, the queens are unanimous, three and a half crowns, three and a half crowns.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think that we're not hurting the product here necessarily, it's a five star review, it's a little bit ridiculous, so that was why I gave it three and a half crowns, I just, I wonder what star Is like at a party, at a business meeting, you know, at a, at a holiday event.

CHELSEY DONN:

What, what, what are they, what are they serving up here?

CHELSEY DONN:

I think that obviously we've talked about it ad nauseum, so I don't need to get into the nitty gritty of it all, but I think it's a three and a half crown review overall, a little bit above middle of the road for the chuckles.

CHELSEY DONN:

How about you try?

TREY GERRALD:

I mean, it's just so bizarre.

TREY GERRALD:

I had to bring it in because like what?

TREY GERRALD:

But, but it is interesting because it does, it is sort of persuasive if you consider the fear this user has of, of shavers.

TREY GERRALD:

So, That actually gets a lot of crowns for me, but the spelling is atrocious, the grammar is terrible, it needs so much editing, It's like, meandering, which is terrible, and it's no fault to Star, that this is the like, Highlighted review that you see, like it's just so bizarre, Also the whole ending narrative of like, it's three stars, but it's five plus, so five stars, I'll update when it's I've had it, like, it's very perplexing, so I didn't feel like I could give it much higher than three and a half,

CHELSEY DONN:

makes sense.

TREY GERRALD:

and I still have not purchased just because the price point is so high, God, it's high.

CHELSEY DONN:

I know I get that.

CHELSEY DONN:

I hope that they actually mark it down for like a prime day or whatever.

TREY GERRALD:

If any listener works for Braun, hey.

CHELSEY DONN:

us know.

TREY GERRALD:

All right, Queen, we have reached the most regal portion of today's show.

TREY GERRALD:

Who are you inducting today for?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal Highness,

CHELSEY DONN:

Thank you for asking, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN:

So, this is sort of funny to me that I've never inducted this item before, considering I wear them every single time we're recording, and regularly throughout my life.

CHELSEY DONN:

Clearly, what I'm going to be nominating today is blue light glasses,

TREY GERRALD:

Oh

CHELSEY DONN:

I don't know how I survived before blue light glasses, like, I got really bad headaches, I definitely get eye fatigue when I'm looking at a screen, and I just can't imagine doing so many of the things I do on my computer without my blue light glasses.

CHELSEY DONN:

I think that They're a great invention.

CHELSEY DONN:

I really don't know who to attribute the blue light glasses to.

CHELSEY DONN:

I didn't look up the inventor.

CHELSEY DONN:

But I just want to give my Royal Highness to all the blue light glasses out there for keeping my eyes in better shape.

CHELSEY DONN:

While I'm looking at all these screens all day long, I also have one of those blue light screens.

CHELSEY DONN:

Specifically on my phone, gotta get the blue light out of there cause it's no good.

CHELSEY DONN:

So thank you blue light glasses for all of the value you've added to my life.

CHELSEY DONN:

It is highly overdue that I induct you as my Royal Highness.

TREY GERRALD:

that's so funny to me because I also still am a person that doesn't know, is blue light filtering, like, is that real?

TREY GERRALD:

But I guess your experience is that it totally is

CHELSEY DONN:

And it, I believe it is.

CHELSEY DONN:

When I use them, my eye strain is so much better than when I don't.

TREY GERRALD:

because even when I got my new glasses at Warby Parker, like that's now a feature, is like to add the blue light coding, so

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, I mean like when you go to the optometrist now, they like talk about it, they're like you should be wearing blue light glasses, blue light's really bad for your eyes.

TREY GERRALD:

because I, I acknowledge your induction, but, but the blue light thing just really came out of nowhere to me, it's very similar in my experience of melatonin,

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, all of a sudden, everyone was talking about

TREY GERRALD:

Yes, we suddenly woke up and everyone was like, melatonin is safe for you to go to sleep, blue light is really painful for you and you don't even know that it's happening, here, buy the product, like, I'm not

CHELSEY DONN:

maybe those two things go hand in hand, because looking at screens all day keeps you awake,

TREY GERRALD:

that's true, I love that induction, thank you for bringing that to our awareness, collectively.

TREY GERRALD:

we did a queen, that is another round, on the R U A R Q, ferris wheel of smooth baby butts.

CHELSEY DONN:

that's right, thank you for joining us today, if you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

TREY GERRALD:

If you did not like what you heard, tell an enemy.

TREY GERRALD:

Get ready to be angry.

TREY GERRALD:

No, we're not getting angry.

TREY GERRALD:

We're going to have a really fun after show this week because Chelsey, I'm going to introduce you to something.

TREY GERRALD:

I don't, maybe you've seen them in the world.

TREY GERRALD:

I'm not sure.

TREY GERRALD:

We'll find out, but I'm going to introduce you to this company called December Diamonds.

CHELSEY DONN:

Ooh,

TREY GERRALD:

It's not what you're thinking, okay?

CHELSEY DONN:

okay, is that

TREY GERRALD:

Cause we,

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay,

TREY GERRALD:

we are going to be rating and reviewing a 5 star Amazon review for December Diamonds Drake Male Fairy Christmas Tree Ornament 555 5096 New.

VOICEOVER:

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

TREY GERRALD:

But I gotta tell you, Chelsey, before you ask any questions, have you ever in your life seen Christmas tree ornaments?

TREY GERRALD:

Sometimes they're like tchotchke, like figurines that sit around, but they're like ripped, very sexy, pretty clearly gay, male, mermaid, fairy, like ornamenty things.

TREY GERRALD:

Have you ever?

TREY GERRALD:

Is any of this making any sense to you?

CHELSEY DONN:

no, I mean I can imagine it, I feel like I've used to decorate a Christmas tree with a friend growing up, so I can imagine in my mind what you're describing, but no, I've never seen it,

TREY GERRALD:

well, we're going to go to DecemberDiamonds.

TREY GERRALD:

com together on the aftershow, and we're going to look through this, um, and I encourage you all to do the same,

CHELSEY DONN:

okay, well, I can't imagine why this was said, Oh, hello.

CHELSEY DONN:

Guys, this is like not your average trinket.

CHELSEY DONN:

This is, these

TREY GERRALD:

homoerotic,

CHELSEY DONN:

very, I mean, I'm, I'm, uh, what's aroused.

TREY GERRALD:

like the one in the middle.

CHELSEY DONN:

I do kind of like the one in the middle.

TREY GERRALD:

Yeah, he's sexy.

TREY GERRALD:

Well, he has a little bathrobe on that's open.

TREY GERRALD:

You

CHELSEY DONN:

I mean, I wish he was a little bit taller.

CHELSEY DONN:

Wish he

TREY GERRALD:

He does look short, doesn't

CHELSEY DONN:

He looks a little short.

TREY GERRALD:

I really can't

CHELSEY DONN:

Yeah, I can't imagine it.

TREY GERRALD:

Now, please remember,

CHELSEY DONN:

Ignore the haters, you're a queen!

TREY GERRALD:

gender non specific queen.

CHELSEY DONN:

That's right.

TREY GERRALD:

Toodaloo!

VOICEOVER:

Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon.

VOICEOVER:

Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com.

VOICEOVER:

Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

VOICEOVER:

Don't be a ogana.

VOICEOVER:

Call the kvetch line today.

CHELSEY DONN:

Hold

CHELSEY DONN:

on!

TREY GERRALD:

Check your text.

TREY GERRALD:

I just sent you, Drake.

CHELSEY DONN:

okay, I'm gonna check it now.

CHELSEY DONN:

Oh my God!

TREY GERRALD:

you ever seen these?

CHELSEY DONN:

I have not ever seen these.

CHELSEY DONN:

This guy is rip.

CHELSEY DONN:

Hi!

TREY GERRALD:

Like, repped.

CHELSEY DONN:

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN:

I never thought I could be attracted to a male fairy.

CHELSEY DONN:

Actually, that's not true.

CHELSEY DONN:

I've been attracted to many male fairies.

CHELSEY DONN:

Who am I

TREY GERRALD:

Me too, girl.

CHELSEY DONN:

Love it.

CHELSEY DONN:

See you in the after show on Friday.

TREY GERRALD:

Which is also December 1st.

TREY GERRALD:

December Diamond!

TREY GERRALD:

See

TREY GERRALD:

you then!

CHELSEY DONN:

Genius.

CHELSEY DONN:

Bye.

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