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How to Come Back After Feeling Burned Out - The Demartini Show
Episode 23226th April 2024 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:18:17

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Join Dr John Demartini and learn why burnout occurs and discover how you can recover from and transcend a burnout state in a matter of minutes.

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Transcripts

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Energy is infinity once you recognize

that the source of energy is living by the

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highest priority. Your highest value,

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your ontological identity

revolves around them

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In all probability somewhere in your life

you've had a moment where you've felt

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overwhelmed and burnt out,

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where you felt like you're just having

so many things hit you at once and you

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just couldn't handle it all. And you go,

enough's enough. need a break,

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. Well, the question

is, is why do we have that?

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Why have we set ourselves up for

that? And what do we do about it?

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And how do we recover from that state

of awareness and consciousness and

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experience? So if you have

something write with and write on,

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you might want to take some notes.

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Every human being has a

unique set of priorities

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and values. Now,

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you know I've talked about values

in almost every presentation I do.

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This set of values, this hierarchy

of values, this set of priorities,

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this list of things that are most to

least important in your life are unique to

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you,

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fingerprint specific

and determines how you

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perceive, decide, and act.

And determines, in a sense,

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your direction in life. And therefore,

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the hierarchy of your values

dictates your destiny.

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Of course your values

can change over time,

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and therefore your destiny can be tweaked.

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And your life's journey is the summation

of all those destinies along the way

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that make up your life's journey.

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Whenever you perceive that

things are supporting your

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hierarchy of values,

particularly your highest values,

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you tend to feel open and

excited you might say, elated,

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and you feel that, you know,

everything is kind of working.

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When things challenge it,

you feel resistance again.

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You have inside your brain an autonomic

nervous system. One, parasympathetic,

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when things support the value,

where you rest. And the other,

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the sympathetic where things challenge

your values and you waken and excite

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ready for fight or flight.

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Whenever you get too much

support, it can lead to boredom.

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Whenever you get too much challenge in

your perception, because it's perceptual,

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you can get burned out.

Imagine if somebody come

into a relationship with you,

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and I jokingly in my

Breakthrough Experience program,

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sometimes tease some female

in there, I say, if I was to,

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and I get on my knees and

I, if I was to say to you,

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I want to do whatever you want me to

do, whenever you want me to do it,

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just tell me what to do,

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I just want to be everything you want me

to be and everything else. They'll go,

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oh, get a life. Boring. And they'll

want a bit of a challenge too.

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They don't want a guy that's just

totally submissive. They want,

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they might want that

occasionally, but they want,

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they want somebody that

stands up to them too,

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has a little testosterone and

challenges them. But at the same time,

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if I say, look down on the girl and

say, now do what I tell you or else,

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and I really challenge her and force her

to do something she doesn't want to do,

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now she's burned out.

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So I first want you to know that

anytime you get overly supported,

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you become bored and juveniley dependent

on that which you are supported by.

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And whenever you are challenged,

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you can burn out and become precociously

independent and want to escape it.

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So you want to seek it

when it's supporting you,

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you want to escape it the other one.

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But if too much yin becomes yang

and too much yang becomes yin,

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and in actuality you need a balance,

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maximum growth and development occurs

at the border of support and challenge,

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boredom and burnout. In fact, in your

relationship, long-term relationship,

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you'll have times when your bored and

times when you're burned out

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because they'll sometimes support

and challenge your values. Now,

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if you are doing something

that's high on your value and you

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have more of a balanced,

neutral, objective viewpoint,

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you're not subjectively biased,

but more objective in view,

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the probability of boredom

or burnout goes down.

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Whenever you're doing something that is

low on your values that are unfulfilling

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and you seek as a result of it, a

compensation by, from this unfulfillment,

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you seek immediate gratification and

you want a pleasure without a pain,

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then when the pains come, nature

has a balance of pleasure and pain,

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then you get even more burned out,

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because you now exaggerate the pain

because you're now more addicted to the

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pleasure. Anytime you're addicted

to pleasure, the pain hurts more.

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When you're embracing both

sides, pleasure and pain,

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the pain doesn't feel so much pain.

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That's why when you're pursuing

challenges that inspire you, you produce,

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when you're trying to avoid

challenges that aren't,

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you create distraction

and in a sense, distress.

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So one of the keys to transcending and

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going beyond the idea of burnout

is to prioritize your life.

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Because in most cases,

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the reason why we're doing and having the

experience of burnout is because we're

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feeling we're having all this stuff

that we don't really want to be doing

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burdening us,

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and we're not prioritizing our life

and finding somebody to delegate lower

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priority things to.

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If you're not dedicated to the highest

priority thing and delegating lower

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priority things,

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you can guarantee you'll be

overwhelmed by scattered other outside

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influencing and expectations.

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The way you know you have those is you'll

hear yourself saying, I gotta do this,

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I have to do this, I must

do this, I should do this,

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I want to do this, I'm supposed

to do this, I need to do this.

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Anytime you hear those

languages and those imperatives,

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it means that you've injected

the values of others.

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You've tried to do too many

things to please too many people.

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You're not prioritized and

focused and you're not,

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or you're not supert tasking where you're

integrating all those things into one

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focus, and you're going to get burned out.

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You're going to get frustrated by the

overwhelm of too many things at once

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or things you don't want at once

that challenge you. So it's,

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one of the keys is to say thank you,

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but no thank you to opportunists

that project their values onto you

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or people that you subordinate to and

inject the values of and say thank you,

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but no thank you. In the Breakthrough

Experience program that I teach,

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I take people that envy somebody and try

to imitate somebody and put people on

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pedestals and inject the

values into their life,

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I show them how to own the

traits of those people.

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I call it owning the traits of the greats.

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And taking them off the pedestal and

realigning so you're equal to them so you

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give yourself permission to prioritize

your life instead of living by other

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people's priorities.

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Anytime you've been infatuated with

somebody in a new relationship,

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for instance,

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you'll find yourself initially sacrificing

what's important to you to be with

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them for fear of loss of them.

So you end up doing low priority,

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weird stuff that you don't normally

do in order to be with them.

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And over the next few weeks, you

eventually get frustrated by that.

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You start resenting that.

You say, I want my life back,

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and you go back to priority.

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But anytime you infatuate with somebody

and put them up on a pedestal in any of

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the areas of life, spiritual,

mental, career, financial, family,

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social or physical,

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and you don't level the playing field and

you envy them and try to imitate them,

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you inject their values, you cloud

your mind with all these expectations,

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should's, ought to's, you're

supposed to's, got to's, have to's,

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must's and need to's.

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And then you end up feeling

like overwhelmed and burned out,

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because you're trying to do something

that's not really the most important or

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inspiring thing that you

spontaneously love to do.

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When you're doing what's highest on your

priorities, you don't burn out. I mean,

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I do programs 14 hours a

day, sometimes even longer.

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I'm sometimes 16 to 18 hours a day doing

programs. And you know, people say,

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well how do you do that? I've done that

for 59 days straight with programs.

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I don't get burned out because I'm

doing something that inspires me,

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that's highest in priority,

that I love doing,

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and I've delegated most

everything else off my plate.

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I don't have to do anything else except

teach, research, and write, and travel.

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So as a result of that, I don't get

burned out doing what I love. You never,

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ever get burned out doing something

you really are inspired to do,

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you can't wait to do it.

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But you will be burned out when you're

doing things that aren't highest in

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priority,

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which are usually a derived from

trying to take on too many expectations

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pleasing people that you've put above

you, injecting the values of people,

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again you put above you, and trying

to be somebody you're not. You know,

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that's why Emerson said envy is

ignorance and imitation is suicide.

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And why be second at being somebody

else when you can be first at being you?

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So it's key.

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The key to not having burnout and

to recover from burnout is to stop,

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make a list of everything

that's on your plate, write

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all those down what those distractions

are. Write down what you can do about it,

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if it's something you can do about it.

Write down who you could delegate it to,

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if you can delegate it,

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and the more people you delegate to

who are inspired to do it and are

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specialized to do what you could

delegate, the more freed you are,

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and you're not going to get burned

out that way. So delegate it,

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put a timeframe on it, get it off your

consciousness. Have a system for it.

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So whenever you're feeling overwhelmed,

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you've got some sort of prioritization

system and stick to priority.

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Find out the one thing that is most

empowering to your life that you

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spontaneously love doing that

really makes a difference out there,

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that produces the most,

and delegate the rest away.

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You will have more productivity,

less distractions and burnout.

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But burnout means that you're trying to

do something that you're challenged by,

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that you're not inspired by, that you

don't really love doing every day.

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And if you get onto priorities and

give up the things that aren't,

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you'd be surprised. Now some people

say, well I can't afford to do it.

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Well I thought that too

when I was 27 years old,

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I went out and bought a book called

The Time Trap by Alec MacKenzie and I

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realized that if I

stayed doing everything,

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I was going to burn out and

be frustrated and not produce.

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So I went ahead and hired

people and people said,

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well when you're wealthy you can do that.

No, I got wealthy because I did that.

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I didn't have wealth

when I started. In fact,

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I was scared to go out and delegate.

I didn't know if I could afford it.

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But what I did is I hired the person

and I got over to higher priority,

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more productive things.

I produced more income.

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And then I made sure I got somebody

when I delegated that produced more than

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they cost and I made more

income. And then I was freed up.

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I wasn't burned out by all the scattered

activities and I was able to go move

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forward in life.

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So prioritize your life and delegate

lower priority things and dedicate to the

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highest priority things. If you

do, you won't be burned out.

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And if you are burned out right now,

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make a list of everything that you're

doing, everything that's on your mind.

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Write down when it needs to be done.

Get reasonable on the timeframe.

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Write down everything

that can be delegated.

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If you find you don't

have anything to delegate,

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that means you're trying to do it all.

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And you can't possibly be inspired and

productive and not burned out when you're

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trying to do it all.

You can't do everything.

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You want to do the one thing and the the

things that are most inspiring to you

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and prioritize and delegate

lower priority things. If you do,

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you won't be burned out, you'll

be inspired by what you do.

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You'll have more energy.

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Energy is infinite once you recognize

that the source of energy is living by the

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highest priority. Your highest value,

your ontological identity revolves around.

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So whenever you're doing

what's most authentic to you,

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what's most inspiring to you,

most meaningful, most fulfilling,

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the thing you feel is

your purpose in life,

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the thing that makes the biggest

difference and contributes the most,

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and the thing you have most excellence

and knowledge in your core competence in,

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that produces the most income

for you, You don't burn out.

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You get inspired and you

can't wait to go to work.

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You tap dance to work as Buffett

says. And if you delegate it,

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you give job opportunities to

others, you help the economy,

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you end up getting people and make sure

you hire people that really love in

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their highest values what

you want to delegate,

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and you liberate yourself from all the

burnout and frustration and overwhelm and

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scatter that most people

trap themselves in.

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It's not what's out there that's doing

it, it's because you haven't said no.

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So be able to say thank you,

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but no thank you to people

who are opportunists that

want to take up your time.

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Make sure you don't put

people in pedestals.

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Find out whatever you see in them that

you admire and find out where you have it

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inside you. Because at the level of your

true self, nothing's missing in you.

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You just,

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you can't look up to somebody without

them representing a part of you that you

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may be too humble to admit you have, but

you have. Find out where you have it,

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wake it up.

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Realize you don't need to be sitting

there and subordinate to other people,

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you can appreciate and have reflective

awareness and see that what you see in

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others you have and honor them and respect

them and communicate what you value

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in terms of what they value. And

both of you move forward in life.

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But don't subordinate,

don't scatter yourself.

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Don't try to be something to everybody.

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Prioritize on who you

are and say thank you,

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but no thank you and prioritize your

life. And keep records of it on a form,

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because a short pencil's

better than a long memory.

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If you try to keep it all in your head

and not on some form that's prioritized

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form, you'll probably not do as

well. But if you prioritize it,

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either on an app or on a piece of

paper, I still use a piece of paper.

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I still love a piece of paper,

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then I write down my priorities

and stick to priorities.

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And get onto the highest

priorities each day.

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If you fill your day with high

priority actions that inspire you,

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it's not going to fill up with low

priority distractions that don't.

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But when you don't prioritize it,

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you'll end up automatically burned

out by scattering yourself and

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multitasking into all these areas that

you think you've got to do, have to do,

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must do, should, ought to,

supposed to and need to do.

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That's not the way to live your life.

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A quiet life of desperation is not as

empowering as a life of inspiration.

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So prioritize your life,

whatever's highest on your values,

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where you're inspired spontaneously to

act. When you do that, you're fluent,

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you're congruent, you're efficient,

you're effective, and you don't burn out.

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Nor do you get bored, because

you're inspired by what you do.

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So just wanted to share a few moments

on how to transcend the burnout

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state and also how to, you know,

recover from a burnout state,

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prioritizing your life.

It changes very quickly.

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You can take a burnout state and transform

it in a matter of minutes once you

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prioritize and get onto

track and delegate something.

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Don't be afraid to surround yourself

with people that are more qualified than

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you to do the things that you want to

delegate so you can do the things that you

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love. Thank you for being with me.

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And if for some reason you'd like to

learn more about prioritization and values

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and, and you would like to make sure

that you're not sitting there in burnout,

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please consider coming to

the Breakthrough Experience.

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I've shown people how to transform their

state from an inefficient burnout state

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and boredom state to an

inspired state on a daily basis.

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The Breakthrough Experience is pretty

extraordinary in helping people do that.

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If that's something you want to do,

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please join me at the

Breakthrough Experience.

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I love helping people transform their

lives and become more effective and

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efficient in doing what

they love on a daily basis.

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Thank you for joining me today.

See you on the next round.

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