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S1 E6 Airwolf: Instant Winston Churchill
Episode 613th February 2025 • Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions • What Happened Here Productions
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In this episode, the cool girls travel to the Italian Virgin Islands and investigate a murder most foul. There's also a casino in there somewhere.

Join The Discord @ https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TN or email us at coolgirlsgoboom@gmail.com

Transcripts

Glo:

That's what happens in your

2

:

thirties.

3

:

I think you're not up and

tired for work from partying.

4

:

It's from staying up and

watching presidential debates.

5

:

Beth: Welcome to Cool Girls Don't Look

at Explosions, where we watch dude TV.

6

:

But we do it quickly, because we

were too busy watching Kamala kick

7

:

Trump's ass last night at the debate.

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:

Glo: Woo.

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:

Go Kamala.

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:

Beth: back.

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:

Laura: I have a confession.

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:

I wasn't watching the

debate last night, guys.

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:

I'm so sorry.

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:

I was playing Minecraft Dungeons.

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:

Glo: Oh, you could have at least

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:

said you were studying Laura.

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:

Laura: I did both,

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:

actually.

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:

I studied a bunch and I was like, I

deserve a little Dungeons as a treat.

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:

Glo: Well, Beth,

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:

As a former resident of

Ohio, I'm really sorry

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:

that your people, have let in immigrants

who eat cats and dogs, Laura's face

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:

Beth: that was actually

said at the debate last

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:

Laura: I'm

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:

Beth: It's okay.

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:

A lot of my friends have

marked their pets safe.

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:

I

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know, you missed so much.

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Laura: had no idea that The

Ohio, like why Ohio, like it's

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:

pretty inland is what I'm saying.

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Glo: it's unsubstantiated claims of a

Haitian community, where, boomers are

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:

like, my dog disappeared and they're

blaming the dark people, of course.

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:

Laura: Could it be that

you don't fence your yard?

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:

Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Yes, having lived in Ohio and

worked at a vet in Ohio, people

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:

do not fence in their yards or,

track their animals, as, as closely

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:

as you'd think they

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Laura: yeah,

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I'm not going to throw any stones in

this glass Oklahoma house because we

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are not great at that in this state.

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Glo: So, Laura, are

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you saying Oklahomans eat their pets?

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Laura: No, no,

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no.

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Don't fence our

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yards.

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Beth: the immigrants in Oklahoma eat

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Glo: You heard it here first, folks.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Beth: but to, go back so that everybody's

aware of what we're satirizing right

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Laura: yes, please.

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Beth: satirical.

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Last night during the debate,

for real, this is real life, Trump

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said that immigrants were coming

into Ohio and eating people's pets.

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To which Kamala responded by, as we

all would, just busting out laughing.

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Because, like, how do you respond to that?

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Other than,

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Glo: The

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Beth: so

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Glo: memes of her face just do not

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disappoint.

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Laura: I have seen some great expressions.

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Glo: so good.

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Beth: she was all of us.

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She could not control her face.

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And, same.

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Glo: And I loved that she would

just poke him a little bit

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with the crowd size thing.

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And she's like, yeah,

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go to a Trump rally, everybody leaves.

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Beth: Cause they're bored.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Beth: And he, basically we got

to watch him self destruct on the

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stage while she was just like,

she was cool, calm, and collected,

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and

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Laura: right, right.

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Man.

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Can you

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I I just could I one of the reasons

I didn't watch was mental health and

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It's gotta be exhausting and I'm one

of those people, like, if somebody says

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something like truly, truly unhinged, not

like funny unhinged, like we are on this

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Glo: Yeah.

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Laura: but like, I'm worried about you and

my safety around you unhinged, I freeze.

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I don't have the quick

wit response to that.

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I am like.

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And there's just like a secondhand

mortification in that kind of watching

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a debate like that, that I can't do it.

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Glo: we've

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confirmed, we've confirmed here That

Laura is not a Trump voter then.

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Laura: What gave me

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Glo: Oh man, maybe it's the feminist

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podcast, but you know, on top of that.

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Laura: Well, and I've also hosted

a podcast with Ja'far for what?

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Two

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years, three years now?

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I don't know how I would

have lasted if I were a Trump

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voter.

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Beth: Yeah.

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I think you guys, he and I have almost

come on to the three year mark in

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our relationship and y'all started

your podcast just, I know, flew

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by

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Laura: Right.

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Beth: is so easy.

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What the hell?

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Laura: Best.

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Beth: it's nice.

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And you guys started like

a couple of months, I think

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Laura: I think so.

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Yeah,

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Beth: dating,

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Laura: that seems right.

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Yeah.

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You know what else flies by?

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Glo: Oh, God.

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Beth: Is it Airwolf?

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Laura: episode of Airwolf.

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Beth: so good!

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Laura: you don't mind my segue

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Glo: was so good, Laura.

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Well done.

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Laura: I got to say it.

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Think that Airwolf is at

least better than Crusade.

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I'm enjoying this show more than

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that.

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Beth: Having seen snippets of it,

and then realizing that I don't have

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to watch Crusade, end up losing.

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You know, it's, it's bad.

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It's, I think Airwolf is in fact better.

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I think that there is Yes.

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Laura: to say there's not stuff for

us to pick apart in Airwolf, but

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Beth: What are you talking about?

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It's a cinematic classic.

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Glo: Guys,

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I came out to my friends at work as a

podcaster, this is Glow, and I told

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them about the concept of our show,

and I said that we were reviewing

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Airwolf, and my 40 plus friend.

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Who is male, perked up.

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He's like, AIRWOLF?!

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The one about the jet helicopter?!

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And then , the younger dude is , on

YouTube trying to find the he's like, If I

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remember correctly, doesn't

the intro just really slap?

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And I'm like, yeah, It does actually.

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Laura: kinda slap.

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It's grown on

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me, yes.

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Mm hmm.

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Beth: Yes.

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Glo: I don't know if this is just

like, in comparison to the other

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episodes, But this episode was like,

Kind of an okay episode told a story.

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Beth: It was like,

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nuanced, which is not

something that this show does

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typically.

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Glo: of gave, uh, Dominic a little bit

of a, I don't know, I, I hated him in

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the first couple of episodes because

he was like so misogynistic, but now

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he has like women in his life and like.

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People he cares for,

and it's kind of crazy.

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Laura: Except that we killed them.

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That's not the best.

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Glo: yeah.

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Beth: We do kill them.

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This episode made me

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cry.

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I have feelings when I watch Airwolf now.

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So,

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ugh.

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Laura: have to reprogram

Beth when this is over.

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Beth: Yeah, I think I have to cut

that out because it's so embarrassing

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Glo: Beth, be a man.

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Be the demographic.

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Man up.

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You can't have tears.

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Beth: right.

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Guns

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and, um, beard

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Glo: jet powered airplanes, Beth.

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Beth: shit.

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You're right.

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I gotta go fish and like

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Laura: Play your cello.

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Glo: cello

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to your bald

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Beth: actually, I do play the

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Laura: Yeah, you need more of that.

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Beth: that,

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Laura: of that.

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We have America the Jeep.

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Beth: So anyway, we start.

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at Santini Air at night time with America

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the jeep.

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Glo: the star

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Beth: Uh, string,

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Laura: mm hmm.

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Beth: love that Jeep.

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I really want a Jeep Wrangler.

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So bad.

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Laura: I feel like if you're gonna have

a Jeep, you need to have a fun paint

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job.

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There should be no plain Jeeps.

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There are lots of plain

Jeeps, but there shouldn't be.

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They should all be very interesting.

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Beth: Right?

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And I want, I really, I,

I just want to get ducked.

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I want all the ducks on my

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Jeep.

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Laura,

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Laura: heard about the ducks.

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Yeah.

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Beth: do you know?

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Yes.

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Laura: people leave a duck on your jeep.

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: yes, my co worker has gotten

ducked many times in our parking lot.

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Um, and I eventually, I, I found out

that the Titanic Museum has little

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Captain of the Vali It's the captain

of the Titanic, but as a duck,

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Laura: Hmm.

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Beth: so I, I, I had

them like ship it to me.

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Laura: Okay.

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Glo: it to you

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Beth: yes, the duck itself was

four dollars and shipping was

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like ten, but it was so worth

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Glo: to put on someone's car.

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Beth: it.

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No, I handed it to her at work and

I was like, I know sometimes you get

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sad because you feel like you're not

doing a good enough job, but just

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remember this guy sunk the Titanic.

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Laura: Anyway,

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Hawk is looking for Dom

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at Santini Air, and he finds him with his

head in his hands, crying at his desk.

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Laura's just really insecure.

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And, his daughter was found dead

on a beach,:

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Glo: And you said I miss seeing her grow

up so we know that there're estranged

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for some reason.

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We're not sure

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why yet.

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Laura: Yes.

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Beth: And that is the first time

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Beth cried.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Beth: So naturally they take Airwolf

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Glo: Mm-Hmm.

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Because it's tomorrow.

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There's no way for him to get

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there.

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By commercial means?

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Beth: And they're supposed to be

like on a mission for Archangel,

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Laura: And String is like a

good, , I'm calling String the

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boss here, he, String is a good

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Glo: Mm

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Laura: like, no, no, no.

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Work can wait.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Laura: Let's do the important

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thing.

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Glo: really healthy.

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Beth: I think everyone's

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growing emotionally, since

Caitlyn entered the picture.

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Glo: ah It's Caitlin, huh?

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Laura: Could be.

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Beth: I think it might be

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Laura: I mean, it definitely is for us.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Beth: it is for us,

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Glo: we talk about okay?

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I don't know whether to talk about

this now or at the end But did you

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guys see them holding each other

at the very end of this episode?

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They have been shipped since we have

been since we have skipped episodes

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Laura: We've only skipped one

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episode too,

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Glo: So, we, must have missed an

episode where they get together as a

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couple because they're holding each

other like, oh, aren't we adorable,

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kind of thing, not as business partners.

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Laura: Right.

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Beth: Do you not hold

your business partners?

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Have I, have I been doing

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business wrong?

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Glo: Mm.

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Laura: We got to get you some, a coach.

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Beth: Okay, somebody call Stringfellow.

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So then cut to some dudes who are

definitely shady opening a casino

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situation and being generally

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shady.

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Laura: Yeah, you can tell it's

generally shady because, they're

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entertaining a congressman.

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Glo: Yeah.

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That,

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Beth: and apparently

he got cream cheese, so

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good for

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Glo: man, he got cream cheese.

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Do we ever find out what

this island's name is?

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Laura: So I think it's the U.

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S.

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Virgin

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Islands.

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And I don't remember why

Aaron and I determined

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Glo: Okay.

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Laura: but, apparently, because

at first I was like, , why would

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he have to be extradited to the U.

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S.

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Virgin Islands?

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But apparently that is a thing.

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Aaron looked it up.

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Glo: Oh, okay.

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Laura: yeah.

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Yeah.

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yeah.

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Beth: Word.

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Well, Domin and Stringfeller

are walking on a beach.

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It's real cute, there's a sunset.

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And They run up to Dom's old

buddy, whose name I never caught,

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Laura: His name was Aaron.

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so that's not going to be confusing

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Glo: yeah.

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Aaron who,

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who's like Dom's best

buddy from growing up.

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Laura: Yeah.

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And they have big, things

were better in the old days,

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Glo: Mm hmm.

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And Aaron likes to hint at how

Dom was a ladies man and just

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tore it up around the island.

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Laura: Okay.

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Beth: I believe the exact word he

used was skirt chaser, which is

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so

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much worse.

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Glo: honestly though,

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okay.

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I know when we see his ex wife, I

was like, damn, she looks good now.

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This woman must've been an absolute

firecracker when they were dating.

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And what did Ernest Borgdine

look like when they were

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Laura: Yeah.

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Glo: Oh, he's like a character actor.

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They are giving him, a

lot of credit for it.

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Getting this woman, cause she is stunning.

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Laura: He's got a lot of charm,

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Glo: I guess

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so.

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Laura: Charisma.

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Beth: She is, in fact, fine as

fuck, so he must have Riz's fuck,

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Glo: so, as the children say.

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Beth: as the children say.

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It's my favorite bit of slang that

the children have come up with.

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I just,

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Glo: You're,

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Laura, you have , a, Gen Alpha son

that is, has a developing brain.

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Does he use things like

Skibbity Toilet and Rizzler

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and, okay, great.

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Laura: and, he's obsessed with

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Glo: Okay, Ohio Riz.

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Laura: No, we're, we're threatening

to take him to Ohio just to

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show him what it's all about.

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Glo: Ugh.

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Beth: Make him eat that slop skyline

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chili.

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Laura: It's, the, tough love

style of parenting, right?

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Glo: Be like, Ohio's

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Beth: We're going to Ohio!

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Where everything is Oh, but actually,

if you do go to Ohio, everything

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is mid except for the opera?

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Laura: oh,

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oh, Cincinnati

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is, yeah, it's big.

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They have a big conservatory there, too.

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Yeah,

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Beth: Yeah,

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they do.

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The Cincinnati Opera is incredible.

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The Cincinnati Symphony is incredible.

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Music Hall is beautiful.

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The Art Museum.

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Um, Immaculate.

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Laura: hmm.

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Beth: Bring your own food though,

cause all the food is bland, so.

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Laura: Noted.

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Yeah, they go to the church.

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Dom looks at Sally's body.

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I was confused at the names here, guys.

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And for half of this episode, I thought

Sally was the lady, the Mother, but it's

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Lila is the mother.

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Sally was the daughter.

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Oof.

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Glo: And Sally, Sally, Sally's just

such a, I got bored and didn't

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write a good name for my character.

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But I don't know.

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Laura: What's a cutesy girl's

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Glo: yeah.

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Sally.

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Laura: There we

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go.

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Glo: Sally Ann.

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Beth: I mean, it's of the time too.

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I don't know how boring that was of a name

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back in the day.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Glo: So Dom comes in, kisses Sally.

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Sally's forehead in the casket and

the ex wife Layla just scoffs like,

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why are you here for her money?

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How?

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And she says, how are you

sure she's even your kid?

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And Dom goes crazy.

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Laura: Yeah.

402

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She

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Beth: she just like, hurls

abuse at him at the burial,

404

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Laura: knows the buttons.

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Beth: rough.

406

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Laura: pushin the buttons.

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This is a person who knew Dom

intimately and she's going to

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Use everything in her arsenal.

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Beth: Yeah.

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There's a lot of rage in

that pretty, tiny lady

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Laura: Yeah, and it seems like Dom

hasn't done the work to heal from that

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Glo: Mm, mm,

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Beth: It's why her hair is so big.

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It's full of rage.

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And then we find out.

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That, well, then they go to lunch.

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Dom's buddies are like, Yeah, he

basically just banged half the island

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cause he was in so much rizz, yes.

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Glo: Aaron, Aaron, by the way,

does not sound like a British,

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antihero, just so you guys know.

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Beth: sorry, that is immediately what

everyone sounds like in my head if they

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are above a certain age and saying really

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Glo: Instant Winston Churchill.

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Beth: immediately Winston Churchill.

425

:

Laura: Yeah, so in a restaurant

the there they're having this

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:

conversation And so the waitress also

tells them all about her housing new

427

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Beth: Dom leaves because he's

You know, just buried his

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:

daughter and had abuse hurled at him by

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:

Laura: Mm hmm.

430

:

Yeah, this is just String and Aaron and

the waitress with her housing problems.

431

:

There's nothing new under the sun

because this was like, oh, you could

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:

have written this like yesterday.

433

:

Okay.

434

:

Hmm.

435

:

Beth: So anyone wanna,

host us in Scotland?

436

:

Cause that might be nice to move

437

:

Glo: hmm.

438

:

Laura: Yeah, so I think the

real enemy is capitalism.

439

:

Beth: The real enemy is always capitalism.

440

:

Compost the

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:

rich.

442

:

Glo: Beth has a shirt on that

says Compost the Rich for

443

:

Those listening.

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:

Beth: Yes.

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:

And

446

:

Laura: Yeah.

447

:

Dom goes to Lila's house

to retrieve a locket.

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And I thought this was going to

be more important than it was.

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They set it up like it was a

thing and then it was not a thing.

450

:

It was not a thing.

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:

I thought it was a

Chekhov's locket, you know?

452

:

Beth: Yeah,

453

:

and she's , drinking out of a gigantic

bottle of Tanqueray on her super nice bar.

454

:

Laura: Yeah.

455

:

Is this, was this the house that

Dom had bought with like his G.

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:

I.

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:

Bill or something that

Aaron talks about later?

458

:

I think he was like, yeah, he

bought this house on his G.

459

:

I.

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:

Bill.

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:

I don't know.

462

:

Beth: no, This is Lila's condo, which is

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:

different than the house,

because I had that same thought.

464

:

But Sally Ann was, he maintained that

house in hopes that Sally Ann would

465

:

come back and remember

466

:

him.

467

:

So he maintained it, but she'd only

been living there for the month before

468

:

she died.

469

:

Laura: hmm.

470

:

Okay.

471

:

Yeah.

472

:

They have an argument about who their

daughter was more like, but we didn't

473

:

know her at all, so we have no idea.

474

:

Beth: Yep.

475

:

Laura: And,

476

:

Beth: Ooh, also important to note,

during the housing low conversation,

477

:

we find out that the shady casino

is buying people out of their

478

:

homes and then selling them

crappier, smaller things for.

479

:

Twice as much.

480

:

Laura: Yeah.

481

:

Yeah.

482

:

It's the casino's fault.

483

:

The casino is the real bad guy.

484

:

Glo: Yeah,

485

:

seriously.

486

:

Beth: The casino made possible by

487

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

488

:

Laura: So in Air Wolf, Archangel calls on

the TV and is super mad about the delay

489

:

in this mission, which again, I thought

was maybe being set up to be a thing.

490

:

It wasn't a thing,

491

:

Beth: It wasn't because yeah, they

fly to the Arctic Circle and they're

492

:

all like, we're in the Arctic Circle.

493

:

This is communist territory.

494

:

And you're like, They're

gonna get blown up, right?

495

:

They're gonna get stranded

in the Arctic Circle.

496

:

That's where

497

:

Laura: Yeah, or there's

a consequence of some

498

:

kind for having been in Soviet

airspace in the Arctic Circle.

499

:

But

500

:

No.

501

:

\ we just get, some of those state of the

aphics that they used back in:

502

:

Glo: And their mission

was just to take pictures.

503

:

So it's just

504

:

like, really Archangel?

505

:

You, you needed, , they couldn't

go to a funeral and you know,

506

:

you need it on the right now?

507

:

Laura: Archangel is a bad

508

:

boss.

509

:

Glo: so.

510

:

Beth: yeah.

511

:

Archangel is really giving

some j Jonah Jan Jamison energy

512

:

right here.

513

:

Caitlin greets them at the door when

they come back to the office to let them

514

:

know the cops have paid them a visit.

515

:

And, the detective guy who's supposed

to be besties with Dom, , arrests him

516

:

for the murder of his ex wife, who

somehow was apparently beaten to death.

517

:

In between the time he got the locket

and they flew to the North Pole

518

:

and grabbed photos and then flew

519

:

Laura: Yeah.

520

:

Glo: they

521

:

can't use Archangel as an alibi,

unfortunately, because it is so hush hush.

522

:

So nobody can defend that Dom

was indeed not on the island.

523

:

Laura: okay, you can't use it

for an alibi, but could you

524

:

use it for an insanity defense

525

:

Beth: That's a good point.

526

:

Glo: I swear, I was just

taking pictures over Soviet

527

:

airspace in my rocket helicopter.

528

:

Beth: It's a rocket

529

:

helicopter, don't you

530

:

Laura: Yeah.

531

:

Beth: You're gonna help me find my long

lost very dead brother, Saint John!

532

:

Glo: Wait, you pronounce it Sinjin?

533

:

Yeah, he is crazy.

534

:

Laura: Yeah, I'm just saying we have

an alternative solution here, but, Dom

535

:

is a man of integrity and he is telling

the truth that he did not murder Lila.

536

:

Glo: And the Firm just sucks here.

537

:

Archangel tried to get the Firm to, , Dom

out and Stringfellow out and he's just

538

:

like there's nothing I can do about it.

539

:

Sorry.

540

:

And of

541

:

course, Stringfellow has to take

it into his hands to get justice

542

:

for Dom.

543

:

Laura: he does.

544

:

Yeah,

545

:

Beth: Well, and Caitlyn the whole

time is big mad because she's

546

:

a real one.

547

:

So , she is ready to kick some shit.

548

:

She is up in that detective's face.

549

:

Just like, how dare you not

be there for your brother?

550

:

Buddy, what the fuck is wrong with you?

551

:

And then she's all like, Hey Dom,

do you want any food or magazines?

552

:

Laura: she's thinking about

him, taking care of him a

553

:

little bit while he's in jail and

554

:

Beth: Yeah.

555

:

Laura: fellow looking for some,

teen Vogue's to send over there.

556

:

Beth: That's cause he's a man and

men don't do things like emotional

557

:

Glo: You know what he does do, though?

558

:

Drive back to the island in Airwolf and

NOSEDIVE Airwolf down to the island.

559

:

Oh my god, guys.

560

:

Laura: I don't know

why that was necessary.

561

:

Beth: Because he's mad and he needs

everyone to know with his giant

562

:

Glo: look at me, I'm so reckless.

563

:

I need justice so badly.

564

:

Beth: I drew angry eyebrows on my

helicopter before I did a nose dive.

565

:

So, you know, it's serious.

566

:

Laura: Oh, and

567

:

I will point out too, Dom is

having some serious, PTSD from,

568

:

I guess he was in North Korea.

569

:

And some sort of prison camp at one time.

570

:

And so he's having flashbacks to that.

571

:

So, he probably could

use a Teen Vogue or two.

572

:

So I think it's really nice that

Caitlin was trying something like that.

573

:

Glo: We're really

574

:

developing Dom's

character in this episode.

575

:

Beth: Yeah.

576

:

So anyway, I thought they were in Italy.

577

:

So I wrote Stringfellow takes

Airwolf back to Italy to investigate.

578

:

Basically sneaks to the X's

579

:

Laura: Well, I think we had the

conversation that Ernest Borgnine

580

:

was actually a very Italian

581

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

582

:

Laura: you know, had

583

:

Glo: Or Santini is, for sure.

584

:

Beth: yeah,

585

:

Dominic Santini is about

586

:

as, you know,

587

:

Laura: they definitely planted that seed.

588

:

Glo: Dominic Santini guys.

589

:

Do you think that there's gonna be okay?

590

:

I have a conspiracy theory segment.

591

:

You ready?

592

:

This is conspiracy

593

:

corner

594

:

with glow.

595

:

Okay, so you know how there's Archangel

right there was Gabrielle there was

596

:

all of those guys Dominic Santini means

like Exalted saint or something, right?

597

:

Like Domina and Santini's saint.

598

:

Is he part of the firm?

599

:

Laura: Is he,

600

:

Glo: Okay.

601

:

Beth,

602

:

Laura: he like string fellows?

603

:

Like handler.

604

:

Glo: So Beth, when you, when you

cut this together, you have to do a

605

:

dun dun duh, or something like that.

606

:

Beth: I absolutely will.

607

:

I might also throw in the,

I'm Stanley Tucci and I'm

608

:

Italian on both sides bit from

609

:

his show.

610

:

We'll see.

611

:

Glo: Okay, guys, that's

my conspiracy theory.

612

:

, if we do this like last time on,

I get 10 points, if it's true.

613

:

Laura: Yeah, no, you'll just win.

614

:

You win

615

:

airwolf.

616

:

Beth: You just win Airwolf, you

win the entire, congratulations.

617

:

Congratulations.

618

:

The airwolf is

619

:

now

620

:

Glo: you.

621

:

The

622

:

Beth: it.

623

:

Laura: The.

624

:

The next thing I wrote in my notes is

that they casually talk about what a

625

:

slut Lila was, and it's no surprise

someone killed her, but I don't know

626

:

who they is that had this conversation.

627

:

I assume one half of they

has to be Stringfellow.

628

:

Beth: So what happened was, Stringfellow

takes his plane back to Italy,

629

:

or, that's in the Virgin Islands.

630

:

The Italian Virgin Islands.

631

:

It's a small part

632

:

Glo: Italian Virgin Islands.

633

:

Beth: the Vatican.

634

:

Glo: uh, Isla Virgini.

635

:

Beth: So the, the Vatican Virgin Islands,

uh, that's where Stringfellow is.

636

:

Glo: Wait, would that just be like St.

637

:

Mary Island or something like that?

638

:

There

639

:

you go.

640

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

641

:

Beth: He kicks down the

door dressed as the Pope.

642

:

So anyway, then he, almost

gets arrested by this cop.

643

:

And then they go get a drink instead.

644

:

I don't get it.

645

:

Whatever.

646

:

Anyway,

647

:

Laura: why we're talking

about what a slut she was.

648

:

Okay.

649

:

Beth: and then the cops

are like, she's a slut.

650

:

And Stringfellow's like,

sure, that makes sense.

651

:

But like with his face.

652

:

Laura: Explains why someone would murder

653

:

someone.

654

:

Beth: yeah,

655

:

Laura: I mean, yeah.

656

:

Who among us has not,

657

:

Beth: I'm not one of those people who

thinks that I was born in the wrong time.

658

:

I am so very pumped to live in 2024,

where a lot of people actually like women.

659

:

Glo: True.

660

:

Laura: mean, there's still a

bunch that don't, but we're

661

:

surrounded by more of them than we

would have been at another time.

662

:

Beth: Yes.

663

:

Yes.

664

:

Exactly.

665

:

I feel like this is probably the

best time to be alive as a woman.

666

:

I am not gonna get lobotomized

for having opinions.

667

:

Laura: The cop says, well, after

their daughter died, Don probably

668

:

just killed her in a fit of rage.

669

:

Cause man, yeah.

670

:

Glo: hmm.

671

:

Beth: That's what happens when

your wife is slutty, apparently.

672

:

Welcome to the 80s.

673

:

Laura: then, I wrote, for some

reason, String goes to talk to a

674

:

tennis instructor because I hadn't

really caught that I guess the tennis

675

:

instructor was with Lila at the

676

:

Glo: Yep.

677

:

Oh,

678

:

he was!

679

:

Laura: about this guy?

680

:

Beth: yeah, he was.

681

:

It took me a minute to

put that together as

682

:

well.

683

:

Glo: her little boy

684

:

Beth: Yeah, cause I wrote,

Stringfellow goes over to a country

685

:

club to watch a really shitty

tennis pro be really shitty at

686

:

his job.

687

:

Cause he's really shitty at his

688

:

Laura: Also, then he falls out of a chair.

689

:

Okay.

690

:

Yeah.

691

:

Glo: can tell.

692

:

Beth: Yeah.

693

:

He's something for sure.

694

:

And then you find out he's

695

:

Lila's sugar baby.

696

:

And then Stringfellow and Aaron go to the

house Dom bought for himself, Lila and

697

:

Glo: But before that, I think it's

important to talk about what the alibi,

698

:

or like the reason, that he's connected.

699

:

So they have this big conversation, where.

700

:

The tennis instructor says, why

would I kill the golden goose who

701

:

laid the golden egg, basically

702

:

saying, cause she, she had bought his

tennis instructor contacts, cause they

703

:

were about to go into

business with one another.

704

:

And.

705

:

String was basically saying, okay,

did you kill her after you, you know,

706

:

because she took your contacts and

didn't pay you or something like that.

707

:

And it seems like that's

not what actually happened,

708

:

but then they go to the

house that was for Sally.

709

:

Beth: So they go to the house

that Dom bought for Sally Ann.

710

:

And they find out that Sally

Ann only lived there for a

711

:

few weeks before she died.

712

:

Because apparently she was

hanging out with the casino crowd.

713

:

And then they watch Dom's old movies.

714

:

And Aaron talks about how hot it was.

715

:

Lila

716

:

was back in the day.

717

:

And then we find out that Lila's oldest

friend, Beverly, who was at the funeral,

718

:

Glo: Beatrice Moretti.

719

:

Beth: sorry, Beatrice.

720

:

I don't know why I decided her

721

:

name was Beverly

722

:

Glo: sounds like an 80s name.

723

:

Beth: And then we find out that Lila

used her daughter for Bait for men?

724

:

When Lila

725

:

Glo: Yep, it sounds like

there was some, trafficking

726

:

she, sounds like they used her when

she was way too young, in, I don't

727

:

know, a prostitute way or something.

728

:

Used Sally as bait for men dash.

729

:

Holy shit.

730

:

That got dark.

731

:

Beth: Yeah, I wrote, that's some

732

:

Glo: Yeah.

733

:

Cause like we, we go over to Beatrice.

734

:

Who's like zhuzhing up

some, what is it models?

735

:

Right.

736

:

Is that,

737

:

Laura: Yeah.

738

:

They're doing a swimwear shoot.

739

:

Glo: and she's just zhuzhing

him up, and she's just casually

740

:

talking about using Sally as bait

for older men, and it's gross.

741

:

Beth: Yeah, and the way she

says it makes me genuinely

742

:

fear for the

743

:

Glo: yeah, for real.

744

:

Laura: I think there's a little

subtle shadowing of that.

745

:

The trying to get you to have that fear

746

:

because as Beatrice is talking

to string and the conversation

747

:

progresses to the worst stuff, the

model that she's working on, she

748

:

like keeps poking her with the pen.

749

:

Glo: mm,

750

:

Laura: And, part of that is

just her agitation of admitting

751

:

wrongdoing and part of it's yeah,

shadowing that, yes, these women

752

:

are like, basically just being used

753

:

It was very interesting.

754

:

Beth: and then we find out that Lila

manipulated Dom into marriage by

755

:

saying she was pregnant two years

before she gave birth to Sally Ann.

756

:

And then Shady Casino Guy, sends his

little guys, his little henchmen, to

757

:

tell String Collar to stop snooping

around, and they bring him to Darius, the

758

:

shady tennis, or shady casino guy, who,

apparently, is the one who bought the

759

:

tennis pros stuff, and refutes the claims

that the tenant, that Lila had any money,

760

:

Glo: mm hm.

761

:

Beth: and was paying any

bills for the tennis pro.

762

:

Glo: Yeah, we

763

:

get the idea that,

764

:

Laura: both

765

:

Glo: Yeah, they were just not

smart people, Lila's broke, and

766

:

we get the idea that Lila Was with

Darius, who is the casino owner.

767

:

Beth: And then we find out that Aaron

knew, that Lila had a thing with Aaron.

768

:

Darius.

769

:

And, Aaron and Stringfellow's like,

The fuck didn't you tell me, dude?

770

:

What the fuck?

771

:

And, Aaron's like, I didn't want you to

start shit because Darius is terrifying.

772

:

Laura: Yeah.

773

:

Even though, Occam's razor, right?

774

:

The simplest.

775

:

Solution is probably the correct one.

776

:

Seems like the guy with the goons

might be the guy who did it.

777

:

Beth: Yeah.

778

:

The dude who looks like a literal

Bond villain and is opening

779

:

a casino like a literal Bond

villain is probably the bad guy.

780

:

Laura: Yeah.

781

:

Caitlin goes back to see Dom again.

782

:

He's still freaking out.

783

:

She's very upset for him too.

784

:

Then String goes to see the tennis pro

785

:

again.

786

:

I wrote Vince, but I'm like, who's

787

:

Vince?

788

:

Beth: Vince

789

:

Glo: Oh, I thought his

790

:

Beth: pro.

791

:

That's we

792

:

find

793

:

Glo: his name is Tom.

794

:

I don't know why I put my

name, the name Tom down.

795

:

His name's Vince.

796

:

Okay,

797

:

Beth: Yes, but it's okay.

798

:

I thought Beatrice's

799

:

Glo: well, there you go

800

:

Laura: There's a lot of names of not

well fleshed out people to keep track of.

801

:

Beth: we're just picking 80

sounding names out of the hat.

802

:

So we find out that Vince says

everyone's on Darius's payroll.

803

:

Lila said she's about to make a big score.

804

:

And that if anything happened to

her, her baby would protect her.

805

:

Stringfellow gets on the phone with

Aaron and asks him what that means.

806

:

Aaron says he thinks he knows,

so Stringfellow should meet him

807

:

at the house and he'll explain.

808

:

I thought, at this point, that Aaron

was in on everything and he was going to

809

:

Glo: oh wow.

810

:

Laura: Man, what a dark twist that would

811

:

be.

812

:

And yeah.

813

:

Glo: We do.

814

:

Beth: I mean, I did spend all

weekend watching, Brand new

815

:

horror movies in the theater.

816

:

So,

817

:

Laura: yeah, you're in a place.

818

:

You're already in a frame of reference.

819

:

We call this anchoring in

judgment decision making.

820

:

Glo: Oh

821

:

Beth: Oh, who?

822

:

Oh

823

:

Laura: I learned something.

824

:

I did a learn.

825

:

Beth: god,

826

:

Glo: job, dr.

827

:

Laura

828

:

Beth: And you applied it

to your everyday life.

829

:

And we love that.

830

:

And so would Al Woods.

831

:

Laura: That's, that's maybe the most

inspiring thing I've heard lately.

832

:

And so would Elwood's.

833

:

Yeah.

834

:

Okay.

835

:

Beth: Good!

836

:

Carry that in your heart, man.

837

:

Laura: I shall.

838

:

I shall.

839

:

Beth: You fucking rule!

840

:

Him

841

:

Laura: String arrives at the house,

and the goons have killed Aaron, yes.

842

:

I don't think it's ever explicit,

but he looks pretty dead.

843

:

Beth: is definitely dead.

844

:

I think.

845

:

Cause they would have, said, Oh yes,

and Aaron's recuperating fine in the

846

:

Laura: Yeah, or he would have shown

back up with a broken arm or something.

847

:

He does not show up again, everyone.

848

:

Glo: And he

849

:

has a fame he has a line.

850

:

I'm a good cop mostly

because he's being paid

851

:

Laura: oh, I was talking

about Aaron, sorry.

852

:

The cop and Aaron are

two different people.

853

:

Oh.

854

:

Glo: because aaron's a cop too.

855

:

Laura: Is he?

856

:

Glo: Yeah,

857

:

Laura: I thought he was

a fish guy or something.

858

:

Beth: I think he just chills on the Virgin

859

:

Islands

860

:

Laura: So we get Stunt Chase now.

861

:

It's time for Stunt Chase.

862

:

Beth: it's Sente's time.

863

:

Cue the Benny Hill music.

864

:

Laura: These goons aren't very smart.

865

:

Because we get the Stunt

Chase, we capture String.

866

:

We take him on a boat.

867

:

And Before they try to drown

him, they cut his bones.

868

:

Beth: Then he fights everyone

and jumps off the boat and the

869

:

goons are like, yeah, he's dead.

870

:

We're good.

871

:

And then the cop finds certain

fellow washed up on shore

872

:

the next day, gives him some.

873

:

Some slutty mouth to mouth,

874

:

Laura: Yeah.

875

:

Beth: And then, Stringfellow tells the

cop that Lila was blackmailing Darius,

876

:

because that's what we found out at the

house, because she found out that Darius

877

:

was embezzling from the casino, and the

cop basically says, you can't prove it,

878

:

go home, and Stringfellow says he can

help the cop, and, and then he's all like,

879

:

you could grow a fucking spine, man.

880

:

And, he doesn't say it

in those words, but,

881

:

Laura: That's the vibe.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

Beth: close enough.

884

:

Yeah, that was the vibe.

885

:

Then the cop, inspired by the words,

goes and tries to bring Darius in, and

886

:

gets the shit kicked out of him instead.

887

:

But it's okay, because

Airwolf has arrived.

888

:

Ha

889

:

Laura: Yeah.

890

:

I love how every, like, bad guy in

Airwolf thinks that they can bring their,

891

:

shotguns or knives to a helicopter fight.

892

:

Beth: my favorite.

893

:

I just want, just in one episode, I would

like someone to throw a carving fork

894

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

895

:

Beth: and, and then be

shocked that it doesn't work.

896

:

I need that.

897

:

Laura: Yeah.

898

:

So, String just starts

shooting up a casino.

899

:

Which, we had the, what was it?

900

:

The Sheriff's h Sheriff's house,

the, the sheriff's office in Texas

901

:

where that's sort of plausible.

902

:

It's a small county in Texas.

903

:

If there's no one in the jail, then it's

just all bad guys and they're right.

904

:

But there's a lot of innocent

people in this very tall casino,

905

:

Glo: Yeah,

906

:

Beth: and he fires a little bit and

then he's like, Darius, come out.

907

:

And then, Darius runs out, and the

cops arrest him, and then the cop, who,

908

:

as far as I can tell, hasn't been in

the casino at all, tells, Stringfellow

909

:

that no one's in there, and it's

all clear, and he should blow it up.

910

:

Glo: but also I love this rounding

up of rich people, motif it's all

911

:

these derpy guys in tuxedos are like

Please get into the stretch limo

912

:

Beth: Yeah,

913

:

Glo: it's

914

:

Laura: Just another day, being rich,

another jet helicopter staring me down.

915

:

Beth: dammit, now I have to

finish my caviar in my limousine

916

:

instead of on the lanai.

917

:

Glo: Can

918

:

we talk about how Dope this blowing

up the of the casino is though Yeah

919

:

Laura: This is a fun little model, right?

920

:

They must have blown up a

little building model thing.

921

:

Beth: Yeah.

922

:

Maybe I posit that this show is,

at its core, anti capitalist.

923

:

Glo: Hmm.

924

:

Laura: It's anti capitalist with just

a little touch of secret feminism.

925

:

Yeah.

926

:

Beth: And a little touch of ACAB,

927

:

Laura: Uh huh.

928

:

Yeah.

929

:

Maybe it's better than we

930

:

thought.

931

:

Beth: Maybe it is.

932

:

Ooh, by the way, the writer's name for

this episode is absolutely incredible.

933

:

he didn't really do anything notable after

this, but his name is Westbrook Claridge.

934

:

First name Westbrook, last name Claridge.

935

:

Laura: I love a two last

names kind of situation.

936

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

937

:

Laura: Well,

938

:

Beth: And the guy who directed

it is Donald Bear, who frequently

939

:

teamed up with Alfred Hitchcock.

940

:

Glo: Okay.

941

:

Laura: maybe that's why

it felt above average.

942

:

Glo: Yeah.

943

:

Beth: It did kind of have a

North by Northwest feel to it,

944

:

with the plane doing nosedives.

945

:

Glo: we had to do a rating system for

Airwolf, what would our, stars be?

946

:

Beth: I feel like it should just be

Caitlin Mullets out of, you know.

947

:

Because I fucking love her hair.

948

:

And I would love to rock her hair.

949

:

Because that is the gay haircut

950

:

of my dreams.

951

:

Glo: I don't know.

952

:

Would it be like 10 out

of 10 dead hot ladies?

953

:

Laura: There's a lot of

dead hot ladies in this

954

:

show.

955

:

Yeah.

956

:

Glo: Starting strong with dead hot

ladies and just continuing with dead hot

957

:

ladies.

958

:

Laura: Mm hmm.

959

:

Beth: Yeah,

960

:

I

961

:

guess, yeah, I guess it would have to be

962

:

out of Dead Hot,

963

:

Laura: we don't really see Sally in the

show, but I think it's fair to like, make

964

:

the assumption that she's a hot lady,

965

:

Glo: I mean, and, Laila

was, you know, hot.

966

:

Beth: Yeah,

967

:

Glo: if they kill Caitlyn,

I'm gonna throw everything.

968

:

Laura: oh yeah,

969

:

Beth: same,

970

:

but , I have taken heart in the fact

that she is, in the main credits and

971

:

continues to be, um, which, and this

isn't a show by, like, Joss Whedon,

972

:

so don't think anyone's gonna make us

love her and then take her away from

973

:

Glo: Yeah, I feel like shows

in the 80s and 90s, you didn't

974

:

kill off beloved characters.

975

:

, now that's

976

:

like

977

:

Laura: just went

978

:

Glo: edgy thing to do.

979

:

Beth: And I

980

:

Glo: at you, George R.

981

:

R.

982

:

Martin.

983

:

Beth: Yeah,

984

:

fuck you, man.

985

:

Also, maybe put less sexual

986

:

assault in your writing,

987

:

dude.

988

:

We don't need that.

989

:

Laura: So I've been listening to

fire and blood because I can't

990

:

wait for the rest of house of the

991

:

dragon and trust the internet not to spoil

992

:

me.

993

:

And I can see why people feel

the need to edit your shit

994

:

and change your stories, sir.

995

:

Because some of it is just.

996

:

Glo: Yeah.

997

:

Laura: So anyway, we, in this episode

back at Santini air, Dom comes home

998

:

and he's, grateful, happy to be

home, but in the back of my mind,

999

:

I'm like, he just lost his daughter

:

00:40:16,044 --> 00:40:16,614

Glo: Mm hmm.

:

00:40:16,709 --> 00:40:19,419

Laura: his ex wife and

his best friend, but he's

:

00:40:19,469 --> 00:40:23,309

Beth: but it's okay, because now

Caitlyn's a full time employee, and

:

00:40:23,309 --> 00:40:26,589

she calls Dom Dom instead of Mr.

:

00:40:26,679 --> 00:40:27,579

Santini.

:

00:40:28,139 --> 00:40:28,799

Laura: good.

:

00:40:29,099 --> 00:40:30,659

And then we go to credits.

:

00:40:30,659 --> 00:40:32,179

Did you guys watch the credits?

:

00:40:32,514 --> 00:40:32,764

Glo: No!

:

00:40:33,209 --> 00:40:34,469

Beth: No, should I have?

:

00:40:34,479 --> 00:40:38,569

Laura: Do you remember this sort

of style of credits that was a

:

00:40:38,569 --> 00:40:42,339

thing once where you'd have your

episode and then your credits would

:

00:40:42,349 --> 00:40:44,469

have highlights of the episode

:

00:40:44,654 --> 00:40:45,814

Glo: watch the credits!

:

00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:46,614

Yes!

:

00:40:46,684 --> 00:40:52,444

Laura: So one of the highlights they

chose at the very beginning was just

:

00:40:52,444 --> 00:40:56,414

Dom getting fingerprinted at the jail

and it was the most boring scene.

:

00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:59,794

I kept expecting it to blooper

and then it was like, Nope.

:

00:41:01,464 --> 00:41:04,744

Glo: I was looking for a blooper

too, I remember now, and really

:

00:41:04,744 --> 00:41:08,764

it was just a replay of all

the major beats of the episode.

:

00:41:08,764 --> 00:41:09,194

Laura: It was

:

00:41:09,194 --> 00:41:09,654

weird.

:

00:41:09,654 --> 00:41:14,239

Beth: Yeah, and I feel like, Ernest

Borgnine was I don't know a lot about him,

:

00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:18,779

but I do know that he was, I think it was

called Marty, which is, a comedy thing.

:

00:41:18,789 --> 00:41:20,769

I think he was known as a comedy

:

00:41:20,839 --> 00:41:21,059

Glo: yeah!

:

00:41:21,249 --> 00:41:23,149

Laura: a very comedy face, right?

:

00:41:23,569 --> 00:41:26,759

Beth: Yeah, he did, comedy

bits, so why wouldn't you, Ha ha!

:

00:41:26,789 --> 00:41:30,049

Here's Ernest Borgnine doing comedy!

:

00:41:30,049 --> 00:41:33,169

Laura: Or at least like those credit

moments could have been the outtakes or

:

00:41:33,169 --> 00:41:35,909

something and y'all could

have a little laugh, you know?

:

00:41:36,789 --> 00:41:37,479

I don't know.

:

00:41:37,879 --> 00:41:41,459

It was a little strange, but it

made me remember the, the Naked

:

00:41:41,459 --> 00:41:43,879

Gun movies and Police Squad.

:

00:41:44,564 --> 00:41:46,264

Police Squad was so much fun.

:

00:41:46,264 --> 00:41:49,474

Beth: Movies I haven't thought

about in literally a million

:

00:41:49,474 --> 00:41:49,664

years.

:

00:41:49,959 --> 00:41:51,569

Laura: if you can find those anywhere?

:

00:41:51,679 --> 00:41:53,459

Naked Gun surely, but Police Squad?

:

00:41:53,779 --> 00:41:54,139

I don't know.

:

00:41:54,139 --> 00:41:54,959

I'm going to go look now.

:

00:41:54,959 --> 00:41:55,044

I don't know.

:

00:41:55,044 --> 00:41:55,284

It's

:

00:41:55,404 --> 00:41:55,754

Glo: Beth.

:

00:41:55,784 --> 00:41:56,784

What are we watching?

:

00:41:56,894 --> 00:41:57,864

Beth: you go look,

:

00:41:58,044 --> 00:42:00,184

Laura: Yeah, let's watch more Airwolf.

:

00:42:00,444 --> 00:42:00,564

Glo: Woo!

:

00:42:01,534 --> 00:42:04,254

Beth: Glow, tell me when to stop.

:

00:42:04,854 --> 00:42:05,404

Glo: Stop.

:

00:42:05,404 --> 00:42:06,904

Beth: Five, six, seven.

:

00:42:07,214 --> 00:42:11,404

We're doing our MASH, because

we do MASH, which is like an old

:

00:42:11,404 --> 00:42:13,254

timey game that people played in

:

00:42:13,394 --> 00:42:14,894

Laura: say old timey.

:

00:42:14,894 --> 00:42:15,883

Ugh.

:

00:42:16,064 --> 00:42:20,104

Beth: It is a very new and

current hip game that people play.

:

00:42:20,864 --> 00:42:22,324

Laura: Young, sexy people.

:

00:42:23,244 --> 00:42:23,914

Beth: Yes, young,

:

00:42:24,224 --> 00:42:25,974

Glo: All of us in our jammies.

:

00:42:25,974 --> 00:42:28,204

Beth: We're all barely out of our

:

00:42:28,214 --> 00:42:28,874

20s.

:

00:42:28,974 --> 00:42:30,624

We're not even out of our 20s.

:

00:42:30,634 --> 00:42:32,024

We're barely out of our teens.

:

00:42:32,034 --> 00:42:32,314

We're,

:

00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:33,534

we're babies.

:

00:42:33,889 --> 00:42:34,509

Children.

:

00:42:36,009 --> 00:42:38,459

Alright, we're skipping four episodes

:

00:42:38,499 --> 00:42:38,919

this time.

:

00:42:39,644 --> 00:42:40,464

Random target.

:

00:42:40,464 --> 00:42:41,814

It's called Random Target.

:

00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:43,324

Laura: Do we have a little blurby?

:

00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:44,544

I have a short blurby.

:

00:42:44,544 --> 00:42:45,054

Beth: I have a short

:

00:42:45,054 --> 00:42:45,744

blurby.

:

00:42:45,744 --> 00:42:50,874

When String and Dom agree to shoot some

incidental film footage for a friendly

:

00:42:50,874 --> 00:42:56,434

rival, they accidentally stumble across

a reputed mobster hiding out in the

:

00:42:56,444 --> 00:42:58,954

desert with plans for a secret rend.

:

00:42:58,954 --> 00:43:00,564

I assume that meant rendezvous, but

:

00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:01,459

Glo: Rendezvous?

:

00:43:02,124 --> 00:43:02,444

Beth: that's where

:

00:43:02,444 --> 00:43:03,114

it ends.

:

00:43:04,859 --> 00:43:05,769

Laura: Interesting.

:

00:43:05,769 --> 00:43:06,859

Beth: Yeah, I'm excited.

:

00:43:06,874 --> 00:43:07,264

Glo: Okay.

:

00:43:07,264 --> 00:43:09,224

So we get mobsters this time.

:

00:43:09,224 --> 00:43:11,664

Laura: I'm glad we're not

picking on Dom this time.

:

00:43:11,734 --> 00:43:15,504

It felt weird with two, Dom

tragedy episodes in a row.

:

00:43:15,504 --> 00:43:18,264

Beth: Yeah, I'm excited that

we're getting back to shenanigans.

:

00:43:19,089 --> 00:43:24,179

But yeah, so anyway, it's pumpkin

time, and we must all go to bed

:

00:43:24,189 --> 00:43:26,119

because that's what sexy young

:

00:43:26,129 --> 00:43:26,569

people

:

00:43:26,619 --> 00:43:27,799

Laura: Absolutely.

:

00:43:28,099 --> 00:43:28,719

Glo: Indeed.

:

00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,379

Beth: So we can be refreshed

for the club in two hours.

:

00:43:32,709 --> 00:43:35,759

Glo: The club, as in starting at 7 20 a.

:

00:43:35,759 --> 00:43:36,039

m.

:

00:43:36,039 --> 00:43:39,149

with a group of high schoolers.

:

00:43:39,149 --> 00:43:40,129

Beth: Yeah, baby.

:

00:43:40,799 --> 00:43:41,369

Laura: Do it.

:

00:43:42,149 --> 00:43:42,659

All right.

:

00:43:42,839 --> 00:43:43,049

Beth: Cause

:

00:43:43,049 --> 00:43:43,989

you're cool!

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