My guest today is someone who was raised with a strong sense of independence and a feeling of responsibility for taking care of others. Amy Flores-Young, known as Flo-Yo, learned early on that everything in life is figureoutable so there’s no need to get your panties in a bunch. 

We’re talking about that trap of tying your personal identity to your work, the new sense of self-awareness sweeping the world right now, and viewing change as an opportunity for growth and learning. 

A full-time travel professional and retreat concierge, Amy is all about transformational destinations and reclaiming the joy in travel. She specializes in working with coaches and leaders to manage the endless logistics required to wow retreat participants—from start to finish. 

She is a sought-after speaker in the world of travel planning and retreats business strategy. When she's not planning and traveling, she is petting every puppy she meets, DJing kitchen dance parties, and shopping for new hoodies. I know what I need to add to the collection of Fine is a 4-Letter Word merch for her, when it comes out. 

Hey I launched the inaugural small group, 8-week, F*ck Being Fine program a couple weeks ago. And it’s going really well! 

Here’s an email I got from one of the participants before the first week was even finished… 

I am finding when I focus on the day’s tasks, I am not overwhelmed and this brings confidence, peacefulness and a sense of power over the day.

Tired of biting your fingernails down to the quick every day while thinking about the argument you had  last week with your partner and worrying about why your biggest prospect is ghosting you?

If you’re interested in radically increasing your profitability, energy & happiness while staying calm & grounded no matter what, you can get in on the next group. It starts in a few weeks. Find out more at ZenRabbit.com or text me at 571.317.1463.

Amy couldn't pick only one hype song. Here is one she mentioned. I AM HERE - P!NK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEW8PmJQnhs

Website: www.floyotravel.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-floyo/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amy.floyo

Hello and welcome to Fine is a 4 Letter word. My guest today is Amy Flo. Yo, welcome to the show. Amy.

Happy to be here. Lori. Thanks for the invite.

Yeah, I'm eager to get into this conversation. So let's jump right in with the first question of what were the beliefs and values that you were raised with that contributed to you. But coming that young adult that you did,

I was totally brought up in the traditional 70s 80s working family home latchkey kid, if you will. We were home by ourselves for an hour after school. It was the playing outside till the streetlights came on. You know, spaghetti Wednesday, is very traditional American, New England American home. Definitely filled with love, laughter all of those things, but also a fairly strict and welcome like maybe work ethic and independence, I guess, because of how we were brought up. But there was a lot of Yep, it happened. Move on. Like constantly like that constantly moving forward, was definitely the vibe of the house. Yep.

Did you have emotions? Because I asked that, because a lot of people that I've talked to on the show were raised to not have emotions, like they didn't even know what emotions were.

It was, we had emotions, but not fully represented. You know, there were there were the days where you knew not to poke the bear. Right, like you knew that was going on. And that's how it was. And then there were days where, you know, so you understood the vibe of the room at the time for sure. We were able to express, you know, good days, bad days. But the emotional expression, yeah, I would say was very primary, very elementary, happy, sad. Angry. Like, that's it, like very preschool level of motion. We didn't get into the deep dive of things. So as we talked about, before, my father passed away when I was in high school, so at like, 15, so fairly young, same thing, but like, not talking about the emotions, obviously, there was a grief and a sadness. That was, yeah, not denied, or glossed over. But even though my brother was 18, I was 15. We were old enough to understand, we never had that sit down. conversation of okay, what does this mean? Now? How are you feeling about we all dealt with it on our own? In our own way? There was yeah, there was no emotion, as you say, shared at that time. Besides we were, we were all sad, of course, and all dealing with it on our own. But the way we looked at it is we were all dealing with our own thing. And I feel that we didn't want to burden everybody else. Our thing, so we just, that was kind of how we were brought up like it's your thing. You handle your things.

Yeah, right. Right. Right. individually. You can Yeah, figure it like you said earlier for like figuring it out. Like yeah, feel it. Move on.

Exactly. Okay, so obviously, it happened. It was there. We all understood that. So, we didn't have to talk about it. Uh huh. was how like it was how it was processed. Yeah.

Yeah. What do you wish it had been? Like, in hindsight, do you wish it had been different? Like, how would your hindsight wanted it to be like, if you went back to that child that 15 year old?

Yeah, in hindsight, yes. I wish there was a little more discussion and openness around the ups and downs of it, and I think it would have made a huge difference because I'm now almost 50 and still unprogramming, the handle it yourself, right, and taking care of everyone else. You know,

Did you feel like you had to take care of everyone else? After that happened,

Yes, for sure. And I'm sure my brother as the now oldest, you know, male figure in the family, all of those things, I'm sure, putting words in his mouth, but I'm sure he had similar feelings to, in both of us trying to take care of everything and take care of each other. You know, if we had talked about that a little bit more, and we're more open about that. I'm sure it would have taken our relationships in our, you know, in a different direction.

Lori Saitz

Since you just alluded to that, that not processing or having wished it was different affecting you, as you got older, how did that play out?

In so many ways. And, again, as I'm on the other side of my adulthood, and doing more, I don't call it like woo woo. But you know, self-reflection, deeper work better understanding all of those things that we do. When we get to this point in our life, I'm looking back and seeing how my, what I thought was just who I was, and who I am, was such a programmed response based on my environment, right? That at a very young age, even before my father's passing, but through his illness, and everything immediately became, even though I was the youngest, I immediately became the doer, the caretaker, the fixer of things. And not that I didn't. I never shy away from a confrontation. But we also don't stir them up, you know, do what we'd do to win.

If you get dragged into it, you're not backing down. But right, so you're not looking for a very proactive approach to living.

Amy Flo-yo

So because that all came up, got like in middle school. Like I said, it's just always quote unquote, who I've been. But now I realized, like you were saying how that impacted who I became and why I am that way, or was that way, because I always fell into that caregiver take responsibility. Not only for myself, but for everyone else, which is huge. That moved into, like I said, I'm very self-aware of what my therapy needs and all those things of like, I go and be like, Okay, this is why this happened. And therefore I'm like this baba, baba, bah. Like, I get it, I get where the roots are. But then, I got married for our generation fairly early at 24, and had children right away, my first child was born, had a birth mishap and is severely disabled. So looking at that now, I can now say, I've spent, you know, more than half my life. Like that. Not that it's a role, but a very nontraditional parent role. Again, a caretaker taking on responsibilities for everybody else. Pushing fighting, not in that aggressive way.

But right, like always like, right, for her best interest, right?

Looking, whether it was school, or services, or equipment or resources, whatever it was, you know, you're always hustling, there's definitely an energy around that. And that we didn't have even with my son, I have two children. So even with my son who came after, it's a very nontraditional parental relationship. Because I'm not just mom, right? Like it's the case, right? Like, you have to be an advocate. Yeah, in managing the health, a typical household is still kind of everyone. All the moms know, right, managing your household is definitely a job and feels like you're running a business. But then you layer that with legit staff and budgets, in and out of your house for care and nursing and insurance about all of the things right, yes, so now as my children are in their late teens, early 20s we're just now getting to those relationship pieces in having those conversations. Which is why I was so drawn to you and your fuck being fine when you said, you know, how long did you How long were things fine. And for me, things were fine for decades. Uh huh. And that's how I would look at it as God, what am I? Why is this not? Why am I not content? Nevermind, happy but why am I not content here? But I got well, everything's fine.

Right? Right. Yeah, because you didn't want to stop to look at it because you didn't even really have time to stop to look at it, you had stuff that needed to get done, right? I can't, like be stuck in self analysis here, I have things to do, too. And again, keep everything keep all the balls in the air,

And she's disabled, that's never gonna change

. So move forward. Right? Like that was the back to your childhood, like training there

It is what it is, we figured it out, we move forward. And then I would look and go, you know, the bills are paid the roof over our head food on the table. Most of the time, nobody was in hospital, like those types of things. And even when someone was in the hospital, because my son has a cardiac issue as well. So we're constantly in rotation. But it was like, it's all fine. It's gonna be It's fine. Don't worry about it. It's fine. Like that's in now for these past few years. As I've been deconstructing that. You're right. It was not a crisis where many other people would probably consider that a crisis actually.

Right. Yeah, we had a different perspective.

But it gave me and I think that's part of that were truly is innate. Who I am, is that silver lining? Always an upside? That's a big piece of who I how I look at things. And even when the big things happen. I have like, everything is figured outable. Right? Like that's

Yes. To quote Marie Forleo. Yeah. You probably coined that word before she did. I'm guessing.

Probably like, there's a lot of things going really, I could have written that down and wrote that hotel, my whole there. Yeah, I was Marie Kondo. And before we even knew she was alive. Again, keeping things organized and set and in a medical home. Yeah, we don't have a lot of tchotchkes or a lot of things laying around.

Just that saves time for dusting.

Exactly. Well, yeah. Dusting and breaking things and moving things in great. Like, I don't have any of that stuff. But it's so funny. Right. But looking back, seeing that by doing the wonderful job I did. Like I say that kind of sarcastically but no, but not like a lot of

I know, right? Give yourself credit for what you did accomplished. Yeah,

I know, people in similar situations that have not been fortunate enough to live a life and survive them, you know, in intact mentally, financially, relationship wise, I totally understand that. So again, I would look at that and go, Wow, we're really fortunate. So everything's fine.

Right, you know, right. This is the thing when you convince yourself that it's not so bad because in comparison, right, is it What's that, quote? Comparison is the killer of happiness? Yeah, something like that.

There in despair. Exactly. Because, you know, my husband didn't leave me where I know a lot of my friends in my disability circle, you know, Dad's gone. Things like that, you know, where my child Yeah, we had some rough patches, where she was hospitalized for long periods of time. But again, comparatively, she's severely disabled but very healthy. The way I look and all of those things, but then I realized by taking by being who I was, quote, unquote no one was taking care of me. And truly understanding that you how, like you're saying, how many of the emotions in those needs? Were not just walled off or blocked off? Like not even there? That I'm still trying to dig in peel away to even acknowledge a feeling like I'm still working on a lot of yeah, that yes, you're right. I got it. I needed or I need to be held supported, right? It's not always about give me the answer, or help me figure. It's like sometimes you just need to be. Right. And like you said, we were always so busy figuring shit out that I for, you know, decades now I've never just been. So when everyone says,

the whole point of being human rights are human, you've heard this before human beings, not human doings. I'm like, Yeah, I got it. Okay, what do I do next?

Exactly. Tell me what to do. And I'll be great. But my checklist. Even when

I need my things to accomplish, I need to Yeah, check them off. What was the thing? Was there a specific incident or something happened that made you stop and go? Okay, wait, fine is not fine. Yeah. And I need to allow myself this space, the time the the, like, give myself this gift of figuring out uncovering digging this stuff out now.

Yeah, there. I don't want to say there wasn't a minute moment. It was a few years back. Now, when my daughter was hospitalized, she was in the hospital for about nine months. And she's nonverbal. And full doesn't. So she and she's a quad. So she doesn't use her hands. Like she can't feed herself, all of those things. So when she's hospitalized, even as a young adult, someone has to be there pretty much 24/7. So okay, I pretty much lived at the hospital, my husband would come Friday night after work. And swap out until Saturday night or Sunday morning. Like we had, like, we literally had the swap bags of I'll take all this home, you come in and I was bring everything back, you know, but we did that for about nine months. Wow. So after all of that I had gained 40 ish pounds and lost my career. And, you know, was transition home with her full time for care, all of those things. And that's when it was, well, who are you like, and now what, what's next? Okay, we need to move forward. To what? In? That's what I noticed. Like, wow, number one, how did we both have full time jobs? And do like now that I wasn't doing all the doing? Like, how did I ever do that? Because at that point, I was barely functioning on so many levels. And as we all know, especially here in the United States, how tied our identity is to our work. So a 20 year identity. Right, who was I guess who am I? Like there was a there were that's when that was a journey kind of started? was one big, you know, it was a big hiccup. It was a big earthquake of nine months.

Yeah I would say yeah, earthquake is a better term. And

yeah, I had to you know, everything fell apart. Good better and different, right. So I couldn't just keep getting up and doing it every day. So, I, I, I look at it, it was that was the opportunity to reevaluate, reassess, and do all the things and that's when I realized, wow, I really wasn't, quote unquote, living my best life. There's so much there's got to be more than this like the song right? There's gotta be more this is not it. And now how am I in for those listening? Can't hear but my my Zoom background is find your joy. And that's it it like, if it ain't joyful, we ain't doing it. And why have a coach and that's one of her taglines. And that's true. Okay, how I look at everything. Now,

What was the first step that you took? Did you what was the first step hire a coach? What was the first step when you went okay, this can't be all there is. I need to figure this out. Again, figureoutable, but what is that first step? Yeah, I needed to take it or that you did take and again,

I'm a I'm a doer. So it was a lot of those wall size sticky post it notes with, you know, do it again, because I had a career as like an executive and a manager in a strategy business strategist. I understood the pros and the cons and the questions to ask and I was a mediator and a facilitator. So I went through all of those activities for myself. But you can't do them for yourself. And as I should, you know, we know this as coaches and as facilitators, you can't see your own blind spots. That's why they're called blind spots.

So, yes, and you Britt and and you bring up a good point, like even coaches need coaches. Right? Like, because you can't see you can't see your blind spots you can't see.

Yeah, all aboard shade trees are our cliched

Yeah, can't see the forest through the trees.

Because yeah, it's so true. So when I decided, okay, I'm not applying for jobs. I was doing temp work and do you know, just things just be flexible enough? With scheduling and income and everything. When I decided, I'm going into business for myself, you know, what am I going to do? How's it going to look blah, blah, blah?

Because that doesn't take very much time.

Now, well, you know, honestly, that was less than a year of like, yeah, there's a do this anymore. Screw that. This is a word. In that, like I said, I kept reflecting back to wow, how did how was I as successful as

Well, and then were you beating yourself up for not being able to handle more now at this point, because you were like, get well, before this. I was doing all this stuff. And now how am I so incapacitated right now

in and I did have I worked with some for lack of a better way to classify it more spiritual guides, if you will, more kind of mental health, spiritual side of things. saying like, Yeah, this is decades of trauma, whether you call it Big T, little t, you know, all those phrases, but this is deadly is catching up with you. And to get you need, you just be you need to let it pass. You need all of that work. So once I still obviously that's an ongoing process. But once I had a handle on that, and and understand, I guess I'm understanding is it better once I understood that? And I really focused in on Okay, now what what am I going to do we need, you know, yes, we still have a household to support all of those things. And I decided to go in a you know, after doing the pros and the cons, and all of my own assessments determined, I was gonna go into this travel that retreat business, this is my passion. This is what I want to do, you know, based on my zone of genius, all the things, I then hired a coach, which was no easy feat.

You mean a business coach, because you had the spiritual coaches. Yeah, I had, like, now you're ready for the business?

Support, if you will. I didn't do a quote unquote, program, I just connected with the right people. But finding a business coach, which you would think because there are it's amazing now and I was gonna say, even even just a few years ago, there weren't as many choices as there are. Now there's some great programs out there. There's also some crap out. So I learned very quick, and I did I did, like everybody else did, you know, some things were great. Some things were not so great. But I don't look at it as wasted money. I looked at it as a learned experience, you know? Yeah. And

And to just to the point of everybody has to find what works for them. Because something that didn't work for you could be a program that would work for someone. Absolutely. But that's why we have to go through these experiences to know you don't know if you don't,

Exactly. And anyone who's in a transition and looking for some type of coach support. Do not be afraid to ask coaches, the hard questions. Job, oh, they have the training. They've been doing this. They've seen success. So like, kind of like a doctor, I question my great being in the medical. I go back all the time, like no, no, we're not doing that.

To the point where most of sometimes you don't even know enough to know what questions to ask though. Yeah, but I'm sure with all the years you've had in the medical like working in it. Like in the beginning, you didn't necessarily know what questions to write.

But I always say Well, again, like if you're going for a business coach, ask. You know, I know I asked for their numbers. Because there are a lot of coaches touting the whatever you want to call it five figure months and blah, blah, blah, right? They aren't making their own five figure months their break. There's a big difference between revenue, income, and profit. So as a business coach, who might have a million dollars in revenue, sounds great, but they might have $950,000 in expenses and costs and everything. They're not very profitable and not making an income. Um, So that's what I like to push back a little, because coaching is an investment. And again, it's been very successful for me. I have found my team and my right coaches, and it has made all the difference. I can't admit, especially in a travel based business with the pandemic, and everything that happened. I've actually grown my business 75% During pandemic, in a travel based business, travel, about having the right people around you. And don't be afraid to ask the hard questions, or ask for like, again, a sample sample in a call. That's those things.

That's a really good point that you just made that you might not even be aware of, of having the the right people around you. So whether you're talking about in a business sense, as far as business coaches, people on your team to help you run your business, you have the right people helping you in terms of medical care for your daughter, like her in every aspect, having the right people around you. Yeah, absolutely is a key component to success. Yeah.

And again, and I think being I keep going back to I was fortunate enough to have all these horrible things happened. Because it did teach me a lot. And we didn't even get into like my career issues. And, you know, my own medical, like, all the things, everybody's got all the things, right. But we didn't even get into a lot of that. But I was fortunate enough to number one, because I think of my upbringing. Have a perspective to look at it as an opportunity. I know a lot of people fear change those types of things. And I never I never understood that even from when I was really, really little. I always change as an opportunity. For growth for change for everything. I love change, change it up.

That's amazing that you have that.

Yeah, like that's that perspective. I'm all in No, we've been talking about moving. And my husband doesn't want to move until he has another job. And I'll like sell everything back and up. Let's go. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Alright, let's good. Let's Yeah, I'm very, that's very much who I am. There's no such thing as a crisis. And even in the worst situations. Like I said, that's being human. That's part of the experience. It's all how you look at it. It truly is, you know, attitude over experience.

That is unusual. You know, that, give yourself credit for that.

I know what exactly, thank you. But yeah, people. And that's one of the reasons I do what I do. And I'm really good at what I do.

Which is what because I know what you do, but people listening don't know you do

Retreat concierge. So bringing together communities for coaches, leaders, practitioners, however you define yourself, I, you do your zone of genius and share your magic. So those ripples all go out into you know, raise the vibration of humanity, however you look at it, everybody has a gift to share. I give you all the pieces to make that happen. And you just pack and go. I create the retreat, the space, the location, the budget, all of that. And because there's no such thing as a crisis, you know, stuff happens, obviously, but we figure it out, we move forward. I hold that space for that transformation to happen. You know, so yeah,

I love that I was talking to somebody earlier today. And I told them, I said, Yeah, Amy, is when I start doing gratitude retreats, which I will and it will not be that long. Like it's probably less than a year. I'm like, Amy's gonna manage them for me. I don't want to have to do any of that part. That's not my area of genius. That's her. Yeah. And so let's put that out there right now. Everybody listening gratitude retreats, those are coming.

Yeah, it's gonna be fun, because that's, you bring that you raise and make those transformations for those individuals. And then those it's, you know, the commercial that those individuals go out, and they're living a better life. However, you you know, I don't want to put spiritual rights out there, but they're living in a better energy in that ripples out. And we need 1000s And millions of, of you, those leaders out there making those ripples, because when those ripples all start to touch each other. That's when the world if you will, society, the paradigms things will truly shift and change.

Right? It has to reach that that breaking point isn't the right word. That's, that's like kind of a negative connotation, but it has to reach that. That tipping point. Tipping Point. Yes,

I don't minimize anything not to minimize the pandemic. But there's also been some amazing things that have happened through the pandemic.

Amazing things almost. So this podcast came from that, that time, and almost every single guest I've had on this podcast, this has come up about what has been created. Yeah. Because of, maybe not because of, but during this pandemic time that may, that was very likely would not have been birthed, if not for the pandemic.

So yes, spiritually, religion, faith, whatever you believe, and however, but I look at it as just a larger source. You know, I don't care how you look at it, if you go back in history, and I just got back from Egypt. So we were going way back, you know, I go to Egypt fairly often with my retreats. So I know some way BC history and how things have happened. There are these cycles on Earth in human history of what I call these kind of big shakeups where the next human transformation kind of evolves. And I think that's what this, you know, call me crazy or whatever. But I think, again, I don't know what it is. I'm not, but it's I think there's something happening. There's something happening, people like you're saying, everybody's talking about it. Everybody's got a new sense of self awareness. That there's gonna be more the word I have not heard. The word joy. I hear the word joy. Now, more in a day than I think I had heard in the past 30 years. Right. So whether you're again, maybe that's just because I'm in that coach, life space lifespace. But, everybody, I've got profitable joy. I've got the joy Business Revolution, I've got like, everything is about where's your joy? What, there's more to this human experience than clocking in and out, figure it out?

Absolutely. I don't think you're crazy at all for this, the cyclical the conversation about the human cycles in human evolution, and human experience on Earth is complete. That's completely what's happening right now. And if you can step back and and take that kind of perspective on it. Everything looks very different. Yeah. Than just taking it at face value. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's I absolutely believe that's what's happening. And and it needs to, and that's kind of, you know, wildfires are a terrible thing. And at the same time, there's a reason they happen other than just, you know, some idiot, like, left their fire burning.

And again, you're right. It's horrible. People lose their homes, they lose their lives, like I understand the tangible cost, right. But the flip side of that bigger picture is the Earth's taking back. However, you know, whatever. It says, We've overreached. We've overreached.

Yeah, it's a it's a clearing and they actually have to happen for the next stage of life. Yeah,

to come through. Exactly. So. Yeah. Yeah. So and I think that's, that's a big, like I said, That's it. I've gotten more into my, you know, human design and alchemy and all that like it because I'm just so fortunate to get to work with amazing thought leaders and coach leaders who do retreats that I get to sample all of their I get modalities, all their methodologies. And while they're all fairly different, when I because I get to look back and perspective, they're all at the same core. Right? It's all Yeah, whether you call it Yeah, chakra is human design, energy, whatever you call it. They're all related. It's all the same. It's all the same book, just different chapters are the same. Yep, exactly. So whatever resonates with you, I say dive into it, and look into it and it gets you way beyond fine. When you're able to take some of that bigger perspective. Like I said, I've been so fortunate to find this path for what I get to support others in. Like I said, that does it brings me so much joy and keeps me moving forward and has given me such a wonderful perspective about the human experience to hopefully for my next 30 or 40 years, you know, live much better, much better than far And

Yeah what is the song you listen to when you need an extra boost of energy?

That was, so for those who don't know Laurie asks us this question before we show up in my answers that is the hardest question. Music is in my soul. It is my language so it is anything from that it's anything from I love it. It's anything from Eminem. Sometimes it's an Eminem, Beyonce, pink, pink grand a day. Other times it is Disney tunes. Like the Disney, the Disney inspiration song of the movie I love Go the Distance and some of those core words Disney songs. The Moana theme. How far will I go? It was a good one. Like, that really gets me lately. Yeah, so it's the Disney what I call the firework songs for Disney. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And again, honestly, with anything with pink or Eminem, I can't go wrong with three times. She's amazing. She's amazing. Amazing. Yeah, she's amazing. I've never seen Eminem live. And I know now that he's aged up. I don't know if that will ever happen. But yes, we will. We see pink anytime she comes through.

Lori Saitz

Lastly if someone wants to continue a conversation with you what’s the best way for them to reach you?

Yeah, she's amazing. I hope that I have made it very easy. My website is flow EO travel because my last name is Flores young. So, it's FL O,YO that's my last names together. Flowyo travel.com. And on there, there's free resources for retreat planning. There's a book called link. There's a bunch of tips and tricks. It's all right there Thank You, Lord, this was so much fun. I love you know; I love talking to you. We could do this all day. But thank you so much.

Awesome I will have a link to that in the show notes. Thank you Amy.