Most people know that personal boundaries are important when engaging with other people.  Yet many people struggle with how to do boundaries well. In this episode, I share 3 common mistakes that I see in clients that keep people from being able to create the boundaries they need with other people. Since these mistakes live in peoples' blind spots, clients are often very surprised when they step into the full awareness of them.

3 premises that may surprise you:

1. Boundaries aren't about changing other peoples' behavior. They are about keeping you safe, and they are things in your control. What most people think are boundaries are usually just requests to try to get other people to do what they want, rather than actions they can do to protect their time, energy, money, etc.
   
   
2. Boundaries don't require sign-off from others to be considered "valid". What other people think of your boundaries (approval or disapproval) doesn't matter. Boundaries are valid simply because you set them for yourself.
   
   
3. You don't need to fully understand someone's boundaries in order to respect those boundaries. Things go easier of when people lose the need to for a full understanding or explanation of someone else's boundaries before respecting those boundaries. It's not necessary or appropriate.

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