Shownotes
Many leaders and entrepreneurs are told they simply need to be more confident-but what if confidence isn’t the real issue?
In this insightful episode of the You World Order Showcase Podcast, Jill Hart sits down with Patricio Larrea, Partner and Chief Growth Officer at The Humphrey Group, to explore the true key to impactful communication: clarity.
Drawing from his experience advising Fortune 500 executives, Patricio shares how defining a single, powerful idea—and pairing it with a clear call to action - can transform the way leaders, coaches, and entrepreneurs influence others. The conversation highlights practical frameworks for delivering memorable messages, using storytelling to create emotional connection, and fostering a culture where feedback fuels growth rather than fear.
Listeners will discover:
- Why confidence is often a byproduct of clarity
- How to identify the “one idea” that drives meaningful action
- The CTA framework: Concise, Time-bound, and Assigned
- The LIFT method for delivering feedback that empowers growth
- How storytelling and open loops captivate and inspire audiences
- Simple techniques, like intentional breathing, to enhance executive presence
Whether you’re a coach, speaker, or leader seeking to amplify your voice and inspire change, this episode offers actionable insights to help you communicate with purpose and impact.
🔗 Connect with Patricio: Visit thehumphreygroup.com to learn more about leadership communication training and coaching.
Want premium clients from your content?
Grab a free Client Acquisition Audit and I’ll show you exactly where your message, offer, and CTA are leaking conversions—and the 3 fixes to turn your podcast/Substack into a client pipeline.
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Transcripts
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Everyone says leaders need to be more confident. I think that advice is broken, because the real reason smart people get ignored in meetings, boardrooms, and high-stakes conversations
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: is not a confidence problem at all. It's that they haven't defined the one idea that should land, and the one action their audience should take. And once you see the simple shift, that changes everything. You'll never prepare for an important conversation the same way again.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, and welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life, health, transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coach's Alchemist, on a mission to empower coaches and entrepreneurs to amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head on over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out, rather than you having to hunt them down.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Today, we are chatting with Patricio. Patricio is a partner and chief growth officer at the Humphrey Group, a former architect who led teams in high-pressure construction environments. He now helps leaders across the Americas communicate with clarity, courage, and purpose. A Forbes contributor and trusted advisor to Fortune 500 executives, Patricio is known for turning communication from a soft skill into
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: into a practical tool for trust, ownership, and action. Welcome to the show. It's great to have you with us today.
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::Patricio Larrea: Thank you, Joe. It's great to be here. I appreciate the kind introduction.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alright, so here's the big question. What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, and that's a deep question, I see we're starting deep, so I love it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Let's jump into the.
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::Patricio Larrea: That's right, that's right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So…
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::Patricio Larrea: I know it's gonna sound basic and somewhat obvious, but…
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::Patricio Larrea: It was really in the introduction you just made.
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::Patricio Larrea: I believe that the one thing we can do to make this world better is learn to communicate better.
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::Patricio Larrea: And when I say that, There's a couple things there.
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::Patricio Larrea: On one part, on one side.
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::Patricio Larrea: Is knowing how to communicate ideas clearly.
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::Patricio Larrea: communicate ideas with confidence. It's not that you have to be confident all the time, but
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::Patricio Larrea: be able to have a clear idea, and knowing how to communicate, that's gonna give you confidence. So, that's one part.
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::Patricio Larrea: The other part, too, is… Listening, listening more, listening better.
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::Patricio Larrea: Sometimes we think, like, our idea is the only thing, the one and only thing, and we just try to bulldozer our way.
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::Patricio Larrea: And, when you have a conversation with someone.
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::Patricio Larrea: and they react to your ideas, well, you should learn to listen. Listen physically, listen mentally and emotionally.
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::Patricio Larrea: So that maybe you can make it a better idea, or maybe there's another path.
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::Patricio Larrea: If you do those two things.
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::Patricio Larrea: I think your personal life will be better, and the world will be better.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I could not agree more. It's learning how to have conversations, In a way that isn't…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Challenging other people's beliefs so much as allowing them to explore other opportunities.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: being…
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Being right doesn't necessarily have to be the goal.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right. It's just an idea.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right, right.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, now, the… you know, Jill, you're… you're pointing to…
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::Patricio Larrea: Couple of the breakdowns on communication, and why sometimes communication feels so frustrating.
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::Patricio Larrea: Because we know what doesn't work. Like, I'll give you a couple of examples. We know
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::Patricio Larrea: what a bad presentation feels like. We're sitting down in a presentation, and someone's just dumping information on us.
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::Patricio Larrea: And we're bored out of our minds. We leave that presentation thinking, I'll never get back those 30 minutes, and…
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::Patricio Larrea: I don't even remember.
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::Patricio Larrea: 80% of what I heard, right? We know how that feels, we'll know that's wrong. We also know when we're having a conversation with someone, and we're not feeling heard, and we're bumping heads, we know that that's wrong.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so… how to change that? Well, the first step needs to be
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::Patricio Larrea: You need to be clear about what you want to communicate.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I see a lot of this with my clients, where there's no clarity.
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::Patricio Larrea: When I start asking questions and digging.
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::Patricio Larrea: And trying to find, okay, what is that one idea?
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::Patricio Larrea: Like, if you didn't have more than 30 seconds
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::Patricio Larrea: To communicate this one-hour thing that you're gonna communicate.
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::Patricio Larrea: what is that one idea that you want to share? And what is the one step that you need to ask that person or that audience to take that connects to that idea?
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::Patricio Larrea: Once you achieve that clarity, everything changes.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so that's one of the things that we help our clients with. We coach them into finding that clarity. Now, once you find that clarity.
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::Patricio Larrea: What's interesting is that you're way more open
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::Patricio Larrea: to hearing other people's reactions, opinions to it. Because you've done your work. You don't get as defensive.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, just starting with that clarity, helps.
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::Patricio Larrea: The… the entire… the entire communication, the entire conversation.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It helps in creating the presentation to start with.
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::Patricio Larrea: Exactly, exactly, exactly, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I can't tell you how many times I've come across people who they…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They don't know where they're going!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And they're trying to take people with them.
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::Patricio Larrea: Exactly! That's so interesting, right? And, you know, you've just used…
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::Patricio Larrea: the word… when we describe what the Humphrey does, my company, the company that I work with.
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::Patricio Larrea: We are a leadership communication training and coaching firm. And when we think about leadership, it's exactly what you just said. The ability to inspire people to follow you, to follow your thinking, to follow your initiative, your project, your idea.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, if you don't have that clear.
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::Patricio Larrea: how can you do that? And instead, what I see happens, what I see with my clients happens a lot.
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::Patricio Larrea: is, let's say I'm in a coaching session, I sit down.
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::Patricio Larrea: And first, they pull their computer with the 50th lives of the one I presented in 20 minutes, right?
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::Patricio Larrea: And when we start having that conversation about what is it you want to achieve, we realize what they're basically covering is that they don't have the clarity. They're just putting a lot of slides there.
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::Patricio Larrea: But information doesn't do anything for your audience. In fact.
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::Patricio Larrea: There's a huge danger when you share a lot of information.
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::Patricio Larrea: So there's this really cool study that was actually done in the 1940s.
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::Patricio Larrea: Two psychologists.
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::Patricio Larrea: Dr. Hyder and Dr. Simon.
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::Patricio Larrea: And… and what they realized, Joe, is that So, they basically…
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::Patricio Larrea: show a clip of a movie, a one-minute clip of this black-and-white movie. No sound, it's just shapes moving around.
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::Patricio Larrea: And what they've realized when they show this movie to people is that 98%, 99% of the population, when they see this movie.
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::Patricio Larrea: they put…
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::Patricio Larrea: everyone puts a different title to the movie. That's basically the experiment. It's like, watch the movie and tell me what the movie's about.
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::Patricio Larrea: And everyone puts a different title. Everyone… the people say it's about bullying, or it's about family dynamics, and it is just 1% of the population
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::Patricio Larrea: That actually sees the movie, and explains what the movie is. Shapes moving around.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, what is the conclusion of the study is that when we take in information as humans, the shapes moving around.
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::Patricio Larrea: We create our own stories.
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::Patricio Larrea: When you're thinking about information, all those slides of information, if you just share that information without clarity on what is the message, that one idea that I want my audience to take away.
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::Patricio Larrea: Then you risk that your entire audience is taking in the information and reaching their own conclusions that could be completely different to yours.
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::Patricio Larrea: So you, as the person that wants to lead, need to first figure out, okay, what is the conclusion here? What is the idea? Put that at the top.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then figure out what slides you want to share.
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::Patricio Larrea: So yeah, it's… it…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Only make a few of them. You just need milestones. You don't need to tell, you know, and then we saw this, and then we saw that, and then we saw the other thing, and then by the time you get to the destination.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're, like, so overloaded that they can't do anything with the information.
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::Patricio Larrea: Absolutely. Absolutely. Especially nowadays, with We have so much information everywhere.
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::Patricio Larrea: that we want people to make it simple for us. So, give me the… give me that message, and give me, to your point, the two or three supporting pieces of information or data, and thank you. That's all we need.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To make them actionable.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's like…
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::Patricio Larrea: Exactly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like to build my workshops where I've got 4 pillars.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And each pillar is, like, a principle, And an action step.
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::Patricio Larrea: Boom.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: lead you to the thing that I want you to accomplish at the end of this workshop. It's not gonna be really, really detailed. It's just going to lead you to the next thing that you need to do in order to take the next step.
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::Patricio Larrea: I love that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Visual.
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::Patricio Larrea: Great approach. Yeah, that's a great approach. We do something similar. What we say is.
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::Patricio Larrea: When you're communicating with someone, and you're sharing an idea, you're sharing a message.
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::Patricio Larrea: then you want to end that communication with what we call the call to action. And the call to action is actually, you think about the acronym of call to action, it's CTA,
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::Patricio Larrea: C is for concise.
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::Patricio Larrea: Like, be as concise as possible. What is that next step?
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::Patricio Larrea: then T is for time. It needs to be time-sensitive.
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::Patricio Larrea: So, you know, if it's in the next week that you need this to be done, you have to say it.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then the A for assigned. You need to be specific and clear about who you're assigning it to. Think about those meetings where you end the meeting, you've had this fantastic meeting.
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::Patricio Larrea: 3 or 4 takeaways or actions that need to be done.
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::Patricio Larrea: Week later, everyone comes back, and nothing got done.
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::Patricio Larrea: Why?
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::Patricio Larrea: Because you have to make sure that people know, okay, so… Jill.
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::Patricio Larrea: next Monday, you're gonna bring this, this, this, and this. And then Jill knows exactly what she needs to bring, right? And so, the same thing, it's…
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::Patricio Larrea: It's the action at the end that needs to be very clear.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It… it does.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's… it's so easy to just, like, create content out there in the world.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then you're like, but I don't know what to do next!
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I…
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::Patricio Larrea: Let's go back again.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: mostly with entrepreneurs, but… and coaches. You deal with
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: businesses and executives and people that are trying to communicate larger ideas towards a project. Is that correct?
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::Patricio Larrea: That is correct, yeah. Usually, if you think about an organization, organizations are formed of teams, and every team has some sort of
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::Patricio Larrea: a plan for the year, priorities for the year, things that need to get done, and the summation of all those from all the teams is what helps the organization achieve certain goals. And so, if every team
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::Patricio Larrea: Has clarity on, okay, what are those steps that they need to take, then, you know, it's a lot easier.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then it backs down to the individual in there knowing what their…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: role is in… in the greater peace that…
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::Patricio Larrea: That's absolutely right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Into, like, the rest of the organization, how they fit into it, and… Clear communication
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Often, I've seen this done poorly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It… it really helps if… If people understand
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: what, A, the overall goal is, and if you can communicate in ways other than just reports.
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::Patricio Larrea: Huh,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: my experience with corporations has to do these days with some of my kids that work in companies, and some companies work really well, and other companies, I look at them and I'm like, hmm…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, you guys are gonna struggle.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But the, the, you guys are gonna struggle… are when…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Different parts of teams don't understand what the other team needs.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're just thinking it's busy work.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so the information that gets transferred isn't as clear or accurate as it could be.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so that information gets moved up the chain in a way that It… it… there's slippage.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And this goes back to the communication part. You know, you need to be clear about what you need from Team A,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to get transferred to Team B, so Team C can do its job the best.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Possible, and that moves the whole company forward.
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::Patricio Larrea: Absolutely. I hear from… from my clients, very often.
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::Patricio Larrea: that one of the biggest challenges that they face is they have silos in their teams. Every team is doing something, and they don't know what the other teams are, and it really…
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::Patricio Larrea: when you start analyzing, and just recently, about maybe a couple of months ago, I even did
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::Patricio Larrea: some interviews in our organization to figure out why the silos, and it comes down to communication. It really comes down to the way they communicate, so you're absolutely right.
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::Patricio Larrea: If there's no… if… if people…
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::Patricio Larrea: Are not given a clear framework.
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::Patricio Larrea: That they can use, so that everyone communicates in somewhat similar
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::Patricio Larrea: way, a structured way, you start seeing how it breaks down, and teams don't talk to each other. Humans don't talk to each other.
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::Patricio Larrea: And that also, you know, that has an impact in the… individual level?
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::Patricio Larrea: So, it has an impact.
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::Patricio Larrea: It has an impact in the organization level, as we're discussing, but it also has an impact in the individual level.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I'll share a story with you of a client.
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::Patricio Larrea: that…
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::Patricio Larrea: So I got a call from HR in the company, and they said, look, have some coaching with this individual.
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::Patricio Larrea: He is, fantastic.
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::Patricio Larrea: He's a technical expert, brilliant, but doesn't speak up in meetings too much, doesn't seem to be engaged.
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::Patricio Larrea: We don't know what's going on, so see what you can do.
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::Patricio Larrea: And it was interesting, because the first thing when I walked in that office is my client said,
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::Patricio Larrea: I realized quickly he didn't want to have coaching. He said, well, there's two ways that this can happen. One is you stay here, we both work in our things for the next hour, and you leave, and we say the coaching happened, or…
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::Patricio Larrea: you could also, just leave now and say there was no chemistry. Okay, thank you. Maybe there's a third option, so I suggested the option, he didn't love it so much, but I said, look, give me 10 minutes, have a conversation, if you don't like what you hear, then happy to leave.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then what I said to my client, I said, tell me what are some of the things that are important to you right now? And so, started talking, and…
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::Patricio Larrea: Then I explain, if you have some ideas, for instance, or an initiative, I can help you structure that and help you communicate that. And so, that's when the bull
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::Patricio Larrea: Went on, and he looked at me and then opened a drawer in his desk.
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::Patricio Larrea: And pull out this wrinkled sheet of…
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::Patricio Larrea: paper, and said, so you're saying that you could help me bring this to my boss, this is an idea I have.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I said, yeah, that's exactly it. That's basically what I do, that's my jam. So…
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::Patricio Larrea: he said, I've not shared this, because I've done a couple of times in the past to former
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::Patricio Larrea: managers, and…
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::Patricio Larrea: They don't want to do it, and then talk to other teams, they don't want to do it.
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::Patricio Larrea: So, we did.
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::Patricio Larrea: What that involved, it was… First, clarifying
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::Patricio Larrea: clear, like, the idea. Then talking to actually a couple of people that could give some input, and that required some good listening.
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::Patricio Larrea: That improved the idea, and then he actually went and presented to
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::Patricio Larrea: His boss, who then got him a spot to present to the leadership in that part of the
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::Patricio Larrea: Company, And it got approved.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, it saves them money… it saves resources for the company.
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::Patricio Larrea: But what… one of the biggest changes I saw, Joe, is that in the individual level.
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::Patricio Larrea: He became someone that was completely empowered.
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::Patricio Larrea: He… he moved from being this person that thought
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::Patricio Larrea: don't have really much to say in meetings, or don't contribute to someone that realized, no, I actually have power.
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::Patricio Larrea: When they communicate.
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::Patricio Larrea: I can change things. I have… so…
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::Patricio Larrea: That change at the individual level is incredibly powerful, and imagine all the organizations that have people like my client who are just sitting back and
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::Patricio Larrea: Thinking… Can't do much about this.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And all the companies that have individuals like that in their organization.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Who have all of these amazing things that they could bring forward if.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: knew how.
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::Patricio Larrea: Exactly, exactly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Could change the world.
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::Patricio Larrea: You're right, and that's why I do what I do, that's right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. And so, that's what the Humphreys Group does, is it works with
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Does it work with individuals in corporations, or corporations at the corporate level? How does all of that…
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Patricio Larrea: There's both ways, yeah, there's both ways that you could go at it, but for the most part.
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::Patricio Larrea: Organizations come to us, and they have…
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::Patricio Larrea: a certain competency framework for every role, and part of that is the way they need to communicate, communication skills. And so, they come up, they come to us, and we figure out, okay, how do we
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::Patricio Larrea: train your people so they can develop those communication skills. And we can build programs that look like 6-month journey, that, you know, 300 of your people are gonna go through.
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::Patricio Larrea: To very… Very specific things, like one-on-one coaching.
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::Patricio Larrea: program with one individual that needs to improve on certain things. So, it's both. It can be more organizational level, and then also individual level, but it usually starts
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::Patricio Larrea: from the organization.
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::Patricio Larrea: People in HR or learning usually reach out to us. And…
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::Patricio Larrea: when… when I say the Humphrey Lube does communication, just to give a bit more on that, So, from…
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::Patricio Larrea: How to communicate with clarity and confidence, to things like how to share a story.
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::Patricio Larrea: A lot of my clients don't like sharing stories, and they're so powerful.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: so powerful.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, I have some incredible stories about stories. How to give feedback.
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::Patricio Larrea: I have so many clients that shy away from giving feedback.
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::Patricio Larrea: Because they don't want to offend the other person, because they've had such bad experiences with feedback.
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::Patricio Larrea: Well, we teach them how to give feedback. It doesn't have to be anything so threatening and intense, and it's so needed, so we do that. So,
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::Patricio Larrea: Anything, any delegation, anything to do with communication.
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::Patricio Larrea: We come in and help you with that.
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::Patricio Larrea: Well, there's so many things around that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And helping people to get feedback for themselves.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: triggered, which is… Thank you.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're not gonna always run into that person who's had training on how to give feedback.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're just going to sound like they're attacking you, and they're really just trying to communicate with you, but that's the only tool they have is a hammer.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, that's exactly right, that's exactly right. You know, what's interesting.
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::Patricio Larrea: I do… I do martial arts, Jill, and I… I've been doing martial arts for my entire life, but just recently picked up jiu-jitsu, and…
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::Patricio Larrea: One of the things that shocked me about this martial art is how feedback-centered their culture is.
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::Patricio Larrea: And it really made me think how amazing if organizations were like that. So, when I go train.
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::Patricio Larrea: I'm not thinking…
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::Patricio Larrea: when the coach or one of the people that I'm sparring with, I'm thinking, oh, wow, that was bad feedback. I'm thinking, like.
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::Patricio Larrea: I'm going there to improve, to get better, so they're all the time gonna give me feedback, and so my way of looking at it is completely different to when I am in an organization, and someone gives me feedback, I feel as an attack.
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::Patricio Larrea: Why? Why is that? And so, I do believe there's a piece there that is on culture.
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::Patricio Larrea: If we're able to create a culture in our organization.
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::Patricio Larrea: Where feedback is seen as a tool to help us all get better at what we do.
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::Patricio Larrea: And not an attack to the individual, to the person.
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::Patricio Larrea: My goodness, things would be so much better.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that.
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::Patricio Larrea: It is important to learn how to give feedback, for sure.
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::Patricio Larrea: You know, there's a simple tool we teach.
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::Patricio Larrea: it's actually… the acronym is LIFT, because the idea is lifting performance, lifting that person. And so, what does that mean, LIFT? So, L is for locating the moment.
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::Patricio Larrea: You want to be… you want to be thoughtful about when you defeat.
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::Patricio Larrea: If I'm really busy and I'm running out of my office, you probably… that's not the best time to give feedback, so maybe…
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::Patricio Larrea: Not then. Locate the moment.
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::Patricio Larrea: The I is identify the behavior.
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::Patricio Larrea: You want to identify exactly what is it that you're giving feedback about, because the worst thing about feedback
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::Patricio Larrea: Is when someone is just…
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::Patricio Larrea: rambling about an event, and you don't even know what the feedback is about. So, identify the behavior.
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::Patricio Larrea: Then the F is for focus on the impact.
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::Patricio Larrea: You want to share what is the impact of that behavior.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then the T is for turn towards growth. Turn to growth.
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::Patricio Larrea: So, okay, so… What can we change?
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::Patricio Larrea: Moving forward.
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::Patricio Larrea: you follow those steps when you're having a feedback conversation, it makes everything so much easier. So, there's also the component. We learn to give feedback, we're going to help create a culture where feedback flourishes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. And as you were talking through each of those points to lift, I was thinking that that goes for communication overall. The identify the behavior is just, like, have one thing that you're trying to correct, not 47 pieces.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: one thing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And pick the most important thing. If we change this one thing, or if we accomplish this one thing, then…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The rest of the pieces will make sense, and will probably fix themselves.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it's incumbent on the person giving that feedback to identify what that is, and not just throw a whole bunch of stuff at the person and say, you know, this… this will never work because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Well, that doesn't really help anybody.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But specifics will change behavior, it will change outcomes, it will change Lives?
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, absolutely.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Parenting advice, too.
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::Patricio Larrea: That's exactly right. It just… that's one of the things that I learned when I joined the company job. This was a long time ago, 15 years ago.
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::Patricio Larrea: You mentioned in the introduction, I come from a Completely different background, architecture.
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::Patricio Larrea: And one of the things I realized when I joined the company is that a lot of the techniques
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::Patricio Larrea: around communication are, of course, not just for when you're working. They're just across the board in your life. So if you're a better communicator, your life is going to be better.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A lot of times, people are just told to be more confident when you speak.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Why do you think that advice falls flat?
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, that's an interesting one, you know?
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::Patricio Larrea: Let me dissect a little bit on that one.
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::Patricio Larrea: when I hear… first of all, the first thing when I hear, people need to be more confident.
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::Patricio Larrea: The first thing, it connects back to something we were talking about, your confidence is anchored in your clarity.
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::Patricio Larrea: And one of the exercises I do with my clients to show them this is I would say.
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::Patricio Larrea: Talk to me about something you feel passionate about.
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::Patricio Larrea: Maybe there's… there's a hobby that you feel really passionate about?
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::Patricio Larrea: And if, let's say, I'm coaching someone that doesn't… that they're not very confident, the moment they start talking about this thing that they're passionate about, my goodness, it… their presence changes, their volume changes, their body language, everything.
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::Patricio Larrea: Because they know this thing. They know it inside out. They feel really connected to it.
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::Patricio Larrea: So again, if…
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::Patricio Larrea: you're getting the feedback that you need to be more confident. Well, first… first thing maybe is.
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::Patricio Larrea: look at what are you communicating about? Do I need to do some of the work that we discussed earlier?
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::Patricio Larrea: Getting clearer… clear about What do I want to communicate?
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::Patricio Larrea: And then…
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::Patricio Larrea: there are certain things that you can do around communication that can make you look more confident. And it is important.
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::Patricio Larrea: Because… If I don't look confident.
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::Patricio Larrea: how am I supposed to expect that the person listening to me is going to jump onto my wide, and then it's gonna say, okay, yeah, let's do it.
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::Patricio Larrea: you want to show confidence, and that can… when it comes to your presence, for instance, that can look in so many different ways. I remember
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::Patricio Larrea: a client.
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::Patricio Larrea: where I had been asked… it was a very senior client, and what I had been asked is to help this client have more executive gravitas, whatever that means.
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::Patricio Larrea: And when I started working with the client, I just realized he talked a lot, and would just not pause.
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::Patricio Larrea: In between his sentences, and would also
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::Patricio Larrea: Not create… like, his pace was too fast.
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::Patricio Larrea: We slow down, Create more room in between the sentences, the ideas.
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::Patricio Larrea: And what do you know? Now he had the executive gravitas that we were hoping for. So, there are things in your communication that you can work on that can definitely help you show more confidence.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like that. I have a story. I was once…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A recruiter for a truck driving company, and my job was to give a talk about what life was like as a truck driver.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Having never been a truck driver. But I had slides, man!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the days of the internet. And I would give these talks live.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Almost every day. In the beginning, I sucked so badly.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was nervous, I was shaking, I had no idea what I was talking about. But, you know, you do it enough.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you answer enough questions, you're just like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You just show up and do it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even with this podcast, 600 episodes ago.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Terrible to have a conversation with anybody. But you, you show up, and you, you keep…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You keep doing it, you keep trying, and you keep getting a little bit better.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Confidence comes, and it… it comes from…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you can relax a little bit. It doesn't…
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Perfect, and everybody starts at the beginning.
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::Patricio Larrea: I love that!
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::Patricio Larrea: And if I can build on that, there's a couple of things that Because you're right, practice…
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::Patricio Larrea: is a key component in your ability to improve, in this case, the way you communicate. For sure.
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::Patricio Larrea: Now, there's a couple of other things that… Add to that.
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::Patricio Larrea: One is, if you can have someone like a coach.
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::Patricio Larrea: who can give you the cheat code in certain things, you're…
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::Patricio Larrea: Your improvement is just gonna jump.
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::Patricio Larrea: And… and that's what we do.
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::Patricio Larrea: When you think about… Athletes.
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::Patricio Larrea: You know, tennis player.
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::Patricio Larrea: That is at the top level. They have coaches. They definitely practice, but they have coaches, because the coach can identify things and help you make that leap.
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::Patricio Larrea: A lot faster.
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::Patricio Larrea: So, that's one thing. You want to practice, but if you can have that coach that can help you, amazing.
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::Patricio Larrea: And the other thing that you… that you, touched on, This point around…
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::Patricio Larrea: Being less nervous, because also practice just makes you feel a bit less nervous.
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::Patricio Larrea: we always feel nerves. That's one… the first thing that we should always know. You're going to feel nervous.
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::Patricio Larrea: But if you can learn to use that energy In a more positive way, That can be very powerful.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, one of the key things that you can do
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::Patricio Larrea: Everyone listening here is, if, let's say you have a big presentation, or a big meeting, and you get… you're one of those people that get really nervous, and when it's your chance to talk, you trip on your words.
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::Patricio Larrea: Breathe.
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::Patricio Larrea: Breathe more.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I know that's, again, sounds so basic, but…
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::Patricio Larrea: I've had clients where I teach them to breathe, and I have this technique, I learned it actually from martial arts. It's called the square breathing technique.
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::Patricio Larrea: Where you inhale for seconds, hold for seconds, exhale for seconds, and then exhale a second time for seconds.
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::Patricio Larrea: And it immediately impacts your nervous system, your heart rate goes down.
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::Patricio Larrea: Can you repeat that a few times?
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::Patricio Larrea: And you feel clever in your brain.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: fall asleep.
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::Patricio Larrea: I love that!
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Patricio Larrea: It, it really…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Get the brain down.
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::Patricio Larrea: Well, it brings oxygen to your brain, and so now you have a lot more clarity, because one of the things that happens when you're nervous.
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::Patricio Larrea: Is that adrenaline kicks in, So your heart rate goes up.
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::Patricio Larrea: But because you also tense up, because you're seeing a threat, your muscles tense up, you don't breathe enough. So you have a lot of blood with no oxygen going through your brain, and so your brain kind of, like, shuts down.
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::Patricio Larrea: It only leaves the absolute most basic functions, and so that's why
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::Patricio Larrea: you sometimes… like, I've had experiences where I deliver a presentation, walk out, and I'm like, I have no idea what I just said. Those were, like, 20 minutes, and I have no… I hope I say good things, because I don't remember them.
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::Patricio Larrea: There was not enough oxygen in my brain, so you gotta breathe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It sounds like such a basic thing, but I have a saying.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Everyone takes in air, but few truly breathe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Breathing can do so much for your body. I got it from Braveheart, but…
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::Patricio Larrea: It's violet, I'll take it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do people…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: People don't think about breathing in terms of, like, oxygenating their whole body, and different breathing patterns will do different things to your body.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: initiate.
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::Patricio Larrea: It's different.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: chemical reactions. Nervousness is a physical chemical reaction that's going on in your body, and you can change that by figuring out a breathing pattern that helps you, and power postures and stuff like that are all about opening your body up so that you can breathe more deeply.
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::Patricio Larrea: Really?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oxygenate your body, and you're much more confident
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: because your body is… is not sending all these crazy signals around that… Right, right, yeah. You need to run.
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::Patricio Larrea: Everything is connected to square it.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah, you're right, you're right. And to those power poses, you probably have heard the research that Amy Cuddy did on power posing, and she recently just
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::Patricio Larrea: updated, or yeah, I guess, updated the study, because the study was 15 years ago, I think.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it's been a while.
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::Patricio Larrea: And, and, recently,
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::Patricio Larrea: Updated it with new research around it, and new evidence that it's absolutely a thing.
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::Patricio Larrea: If you, to your point, if you do some power poses for a couple minutes.
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::Patricio Larrea: Things in your body, like…
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::Patricio Larrea: cortisol or testosterone, testosterone goes up, cortisol goes down, and so you… by how you adopt a posture, you can change the way you feel, which is just amazing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Smiling will do that to you, too.
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::Patricio Larrea: That's right! That's right.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: find yourself in a situation where you're really, like, nervous. I think it's why some people laugh.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: inappropriately, sometimes, because they're nervous. And, you know, if they could just practice smiling…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Used to do that with my daughter. She would get upset, and I would… just laughing, because I looked so funny.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah. She forgot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What she was upset about, and then she was happy again.
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::Patricio Larrea: There you go, there you go. Well, there's another thing right there you reminded me. There's some… something called…
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::Patricio Larrea: neural mirror, which is basically the neurons, your neurons mirror what they're seeing, and so that's why if you see someone smiling, you'll smile too, which applies to communication. If… if you want
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::Patricio Larrea: To have a conversation with someone.
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::Patricio Larrea: And you want the conversation to go well, and to be productive and constructive, well.
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::Patricio Larrea: Make sure that you go in with the energy that you want the other person to mirror.
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::Patricio Larrea: And… because if you go in already thinking this is not going to go well, they're gonna be closed, and that's the energy you carry, then of course, that's exactly what's gonna happen. So you're… you're right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It just reminded me of… I spent the weekend playing with my grandkids, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can tickle kids when they're, like, Not being communicative.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you get their attention, and you can.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: With people, when you're communicating, not physically tickle them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can… you can mentally tickle them. You can throw something in there that's totally unexpected, that kind of, like.
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::Patricio Larrea: Say.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: jolts them around. I think that's why they tell jokes sometimes in talks.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because it gets people into a state where they're more receptive to whatever's gonna come later, where they're gonna.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Bore you to tears, usually.
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::Patricio Larrea: Well, hopefully not. Hopefully not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're gonna go and see you and your company, and they're gonna know better than that.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yeah.
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::Patricio Larrea: But you're right, you know, there is something really powerful about starting a communication, whatever that is.
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::Patricio Larrea: With some kind of hook.
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::Patricio Larrea: And that's why, you know, the tickling in your words. And I find… well, jokes can be a tool.
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::Patricio Larrea: sometimes I… I…
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::Patricio Larrea: Tell my clients to be cautious with jokes, because you don't know how the joke is gonna land. So, I find that humor is better if it's in the moment, spontaneous.
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::Patricio Larrea: But there are other things, like, for instance, a story.
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::Patricio Larrea: We love stories. As humans, we just connect with stories.
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::Patricio Larrea: And… If you start your talk or a conversation with a story, you immediately hook the other person, immediately.
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::Patricio Larrea: And there's also a really cool piece of research around this. There's someone called… his name is, Uri… Uri Hansen, I believe.
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::Patricio Larrea: He made a study on something called… Neural entrainment, I believe.
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::Patricio Larrea: What this means… So, let's say you are…
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::Patricio Larrea: Walking outside, on the sidewalk, you decide to cross the street.
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::Patricio Larrea: and you didn't see this car, the car almost hits you, right? And so, you swerve the car, and you get to the other side.
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::Patricio Larrea: That little piece of… multiple actions.
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::Patricio Larrea: Trigger things in your brain, light… your brain light up in certain ways, right?
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::Patricio Larrea: If I, let's say that happened to me, Jill, and then I come to you and say, Jill, I almost got hit by a car, and I share the story with you of everything that happened.
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::Patricio Larrea: As you're listening.
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::Patricio Larrea: The same parts of the brain that light up for me are lighting up for you now.
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::Patricio Larrea: So, it is as if you are the one that is crossing the street and almost being hit by a car.
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::Patricio Larrea: So just imagine how powerful that is.
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::Patricio Larrea: If you're starting a conversation or a presentation, whatever it is.
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::Patricio Larrea: And you start sharing a story that, of course, is connected to the topic you're discussing.
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::Patricio Larrea: the people hearing that immediately are going to be thinking, whoa, like, okay, I'm listening now. I'm with you.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right? And so, that's… that's why StoryFind It's a really powerful tool.
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::Patricio Larrea: To… to… to do that, to create that connection, to create that hook that you were talking about.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's one other little piece.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That if you add an open loop.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It causes them to lean in and wait for the answer to that.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That… that thing that… that you're hanging there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you develop the story a little more?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Close that loop, open a different.
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::Patricio Larrea: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So they're like… I gotta hear what's next!
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::Patricio Larrea: The suspense, yes. The suspense? The suspense, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Solve the suspense, open the suspense.
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::Patricio Larrea: There's some people.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that are amazing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: storytelling.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They use that to, like… get their audience drawn in, and… and when you tell stories.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: In a way that… Your audience can relate to, they can put themselves in the story.
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::Patricio Larrea: You're.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they're gonna remember it. They're gonna remember those.
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::Patricio Larrea: Oh, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that you're trying to make. And they're more likely to end up where you want them to end up.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you take them on an adventure, Give them an experience.
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::Patricio Larrea: Don't just stop.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Talk at them.
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::Patricio Larrea: Yes, yes, you're absolutely right. Well, you know, interesting that you talk about this.
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::Patricio Larrea: Did you say loop? Was it loop that… yeah. What we say… so, stories, again, have a framework.
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::Patricio Larrea: Because we've been part of stories that are…
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::Patricio Larrea: so long, and you're like, okay, where is this going? And… but the story has… and we have an acronym for story that is actually a story. It's S for setting, so who are the characters, where is this happening?
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::Patricio Larrea: The T is for tension, and that's exactly what you were saying, Jill. That's the suspense. What is… what is happening, and what's gonna happen? Are they going to survive, or how are they gonna figure this out?
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::Patricio Larrea: Then the O is for opportunity. What is that the character, the main character, does to solve that tension, to solve that dramatic moment?
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::Patricio Larrea: then the R's for result, what happened.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then the why, which is, what did you learn from it?
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::Patricio Larrea: So if you follow that, It's incredibly powerful.
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::Patricio Larrea: And to the point, people remember it, and Jill…
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::Patricio Larrea: I, this was a couple years ago.
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::Patricio Larrea: I had… we… with the halfway, with my company, we went on a retreat.
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::Patricio Larrea: It was Cancun, it was a beautiful retreat, and The last day.
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::Patricio Larrea: we had a tradition, sort of like a tradition, my… my boss, the CEO, would always open the retreat with sort of like a speech, and I would close it at the end of the retreat. And so I was thinking.
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::Patricio Larrea: what do I do? What do I say? And we were… the theme was all about somewhat of adventure. And I thought of a story, and back then, I had just moved from Vancouver, Canada.
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::Patricio Larrea: where I lived 15, almost 20 years, to Texas, where I live now.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I excite it a little different. And I share with my team the story of…
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::Patricio Larrea: my son. So, with my partner and I, when we moved.
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::Patricio Larrea: We pay a lot of attention to the school, where we're gonna take our son, and
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::Patricio Larrea: We're a little nervous, and so my wife took my son to the orientation day, and then I took my son to the first day of school. And as we were walking in.
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::Patricio Larrea: We say goodbyes, and…
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::Patricio Larrea: he just started walking in, and he went. I was like, wow, that was easy, and so I turned around.
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::Patricio Larrea: And as I'm leaving, I hear his voice. Papa, Papa, don't leave me.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I turned around, and he was crying, and so he launched at me.
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::Patricio Larrea: we sat down on a little bench right there, and he kept crying, and I'm thinking, what did I do?
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::Patricio Larrea: I just moved my entire family.
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::Patricio Larrea: And, like, he used to love his school. I'm like.
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::Patricio Larrea: Saying all these things in my head about the reasons why this was a bad decision.
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::Patricio Larrea: But I notice… maybe 30 seconds. It felt an eternity for me.
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::Patricio Larrea: Maybe 30 seconds, he stopped crying.
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::Patricio Larrea: He got up, he hugged my neck.
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::Patricio Larrea: And then he started walking away without me saying a word.
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::Patricio Larrea: And I thought, wow, that… how courageous for him. He knew that adventure was at the other side of that door. It was hard, but he needed to do it.
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::Patricio Larrea: And so, I shared that story with the team, and I said, look, we don't know what's at the other side of that door.
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::Patricio Larrea: We know it's gonna be hard.
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::Patricio Larrea: But together, we're gonna do it.
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::Patricio Larrea: in jail.
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::Patricio Larrea: I… I… I think… 90% of my colleagues, like.
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::Patricio Larrea: 20 of the 30 came to me at different times after that to say.
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::Patricio Larrea: I love your story, and with my kids, also had similar thing, or this meant so much for me because I'm going through this
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::Patricio Larrea: part of my life, and I need to act with courage. Everyone heard the story.
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::Patricio Larrea: In… through their own… Perspective, our own story. And it got more reactions than anything else
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::Patricio Larrea: I did during that retreat. So that's the power of story, that's why
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::Patricio Larrea: It's important that we share them.
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::Patricio Larrea: Of course, as we talked about, there's a method for it, so it's important that we also know how to tell stories.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And that the conclusion of the story matches with the thing that you're trying…
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::Patricio Larrea: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to do.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Goes back to the one thing again.
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::Patricio Larrea: You are absolutely right, exactly. So you need clarity, what is that thing?
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::Patricio Larrea: And then what is the story that helps me Helps me make that point.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, I love that so much.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, Patricia, how can people find you, or work with you, and… How does all that work?
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::Patricio Larrea: Jill, the best way is through our website. The company I work with is the Humphrey Group, and so theHumphreygroup.com, I know it's gonna be in the notes, the link, and if they go there, they can see all the different,
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::Patricio Larrea: services that we provide that are all related and focused on communication, training, and coaching. So, if anyone is interested, we'd love to have a conversation. You can go there and
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::Patricio Larrea: Say, talk to a human, and then we'll be there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not a human, you mean you don't have AI?
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::Patricio Larrea: Well, that's so interesting you say that. You know, one of the things that we're trying really hard is to keep the human at the center.
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::Patricio Larrea: We do use AI. We use AI for measurement, for instance. Like, when you start printing with a Humphrey, you'll get a baseline of how your communication is, and then you'll get through, and also at the end. So, we use AI,
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::Patricio Larrea: But also, we want to make sure that the human is at the center.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. I love that. We need that so much these days.
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::Patricio Larrea: I agree.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so, you work with both corporations and individuals. So, if you're an individual out there, and you're feeling like, man, you know, I…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I really… I have a message, I just don't know how to share it with people. I really want to be a speaker. There are a lot of coaches out there that are thinking they want to get on the speaking circuit. Those kinds of people can come to you, and you can help them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Craft their message and share it in a way that impacts others to want to work with them and be inspired by them to take the next step.
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::Patricio Larrea: Absolutely.
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::Patricio Larrea: Absolutely, yeah. Anyone that wants to communicate better.
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::Patricio Larrea: We can work.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thank you so much for joining us today, Patricio.
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::Patricio Larrea: Thank you, Charlie.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: ocean.
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::Patricio Larrea: It was a fun conversation, appreciate it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can learn more about Patricio and about creating signature talks and communicating better by visiting thehumphreygroup.com, and I will put that link in the show notes below. Thank you for joining us today. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Be sure to join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today, and get visible.
