010: Celebrating the first day of post-military life and how to T.H.R.I.V.E. with Heather Elizabeth Neary

Artwork for podcast Holding Down the Fort by US VetWealth

Episode 10 • 30th September 2019 • Holding Down the Fort by US VetWealth • Jen Amos

Jen Amos 0:00

Hey listeners, Jen Amos here. I just wanted to add this part before the episode begins. I wanted to personally apologize in advance. For the audio. I want to apologize to Heather Elizabeth, that I didn't realize there were some parts of the audio that are staticky. For the most part, you can hear everything, but it sounds a bit staticky. And I thought I would also use this as an excuse if that if there are certain parts of the episode that you would like clarification on or you have questions on, just let us know you can get a hold of us in the show notes. And I'd be more than happy to reach out to Heather Elizabeth again, to possibly bring her back on and answer any questions or clarify anything she said on this episode. So thanks so much for listening. And let's go ahead and get started. There's no need to wait on your service member to share a second hand information anymore. Welcome to holding down the fort, a podcast show where we put military spouses and children's needs front and center so that they can make informed decisions together as a family. Because let's face it, we know who's really holding down the fort. Let's get started.

All right. Hi, everyone. Jen amo is here with the holding down the fort podcast show. And I am super excited because I have with me today evolutionary leader, founder of the shine movement, military wife and actually now veteran wife, Heather Elizabeth Neary Heather. Elizabeth, welcome to the show.

Speaker 1 1:42

Thank you so much, Jen. I am so excited and honored to be here with everybody. Thank you for having me.

Jen Amos 1:50

Yes, it's our absolute pleasure having you and I do right before we jumped on the call, I do want to acknowledge and congratulate you and your wife for transitioning out of like you literally just transitioned out is that correct?

Speaker 1 2:03

Yes. Officially today. Oh, man, the alignment was with us connecting for this podcast. And that timing is pretty incredible.

Speaker 2 2:15

And I'm very curious to, you know, see what emotions and what feelings are happening around this new chapter of your lives.

Speaker 1 2:25

Coast Guard Reserve, back in: 2012

Jen Amos 6:47

Yeah. And I just have to say, I'm completely honored to be in this new chapter with the both of you. And I just want to thank you for making time to speak today. And I just want to give a shout out to your wife. I mean, it sounded like she went through a lot. I heard about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell. thing that happened way back when I didn't know how it affected people. And to hear how it how it happened to Jen. Wow, that's just that's just crazy how how that affected her in that way. But definitely gotta give it to her for coming back and completing, completing what she wanted. And it sounds like she is finally or you both are finally fulfilled. And now you're starting a new chapter of your life. And wow.

Speaker 1 7:37

Yes, yeah. Thank you for that reflection. Yeah, it's, it's an incredible story. And it's a story that in everybody has their own unique version of it yet, it is definitely a story that I feel many LGBTQ service members have. And those stories need to be told. So I'm grateful that I can share this bit of Jen's story, and then how I've gotten to be involved in it and hold space for for all of those servicemembers and their families to be seen, clearly, and to be respected and, and honored for the powerful journeys that they're all on.

Jen Amos 8:26

Yeah, absolutely. And on top of that, she was in her mid 30s, and got back into active duty. So just a lot of a lot of accolades to her because that I can only imagine like, she sounds like an amazing woman.

Speaker 1 8:41

She she really, really is. She's She is an incredible woman, very resilient, extremely determined, loyal, I think one of the as devoted as she is to our family and our tribe here in Austin, it was probably the most difficult thing for her in leaving active duty was leaving her shipmates. Because of the the powerful bonds that they co create together and what they go through together, it just blows my mind. It's almost difficult to to imagine everything that they go through. And I know all I don't know, I would imagine all of the different departments of the military with similar camaraderie. And so yeah, it was it was difficult for her to, to leave them yet, always recognizing that we need to take care of ourselves and do what's best for us. First and foremost, which I feel is very true for your audience. Then the the family members that says the people that are holding down the score. So very important that you they're all taking care of themselves and listening to what it is that they need in their lives to feel enriched and, and seen and heard.

Jen Amos: 10:12

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I know this is this wasn't just Jen's decision, it was a family decision. And one thing that I think sometimes we forget, especially Seville, civilians, is that service members have families. And they're not just here to I mean, I know that's what they're trained to do to focus on serving the country and protecting the country. But afterward, which there's a whole other mess of issues around like veterans issues and mental health and what have you, it helps when they have a home to come back to. And so it's just really awesome that you both had decided that, you know, it's time it's time to put family first. And it's time to explore what it could be like seeing each other day to day now and, and everything. But, you know, my my husband, he served almost, I think, a decade or probably 15 years ago, he's gonna He's probably going to like laugh at me for getting this wrong. I never, you know, there's some there's some spouses who are really good at explaining their service members like rank and like what they do and stuff, but I'm not because I met him later. But anyway, he was he if there's one thing that he talks about, often that he wishes he still had, it was that camaraderie. There was a unit, there was a group of people that he was so close to back in Germany, and he ever since ever since he left, like he lost that and till this day, a decade plus later, he's still trying to find what he had in the military. So it's a it's a big sacrifice to say goodbye to such a close knit group of people that you worked so closely and intimately with. But you know, it's for whatever else you have in mind that you think will be better for you. And in this case, it's you and your family. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, it's interesting, because normally, the next part, I would normally get into what a typical day looks like for you, for people who don't know you. So the way I kind of want to couch this question is, I love for you to share for people who don't know you and are getting to know you the first time had their Elizabeth, is what did a typical day or snapshot of your life looked like? And it I don't know if you plan this yet, because I know this literally happened today. But what are your hopes? What are your hopes now that you are a veteran wife?

: 12:37

Yes. Wow. So a typical day, just to give a bit of background of how my life was flowing before Jin went active duty in during and after, I am actually self employed. I have a holistic healing business called shine that you mentioned. Yes. And so primarily, and this was an interesting piece that I got to shift with when she did go active duty. And I, I was going back and forth between Austin and corpus is typically I work from home. So I actually have a safe on our property that people come for sessions, and I do both individual sessions and group sessions. And so a lot of my day, as far as work goes, is focused on interacting with people, either in person or virtually through social media, email, things like that. When Jen went active duty, that all got turned upside down, which I feel like a lot of people listening can relate to that our lives that our lives get turned upside down as part of the journey of being in part of the military family, because there is so much transition involved in so many unknowns. So there's a huge adjustment period that I feel like we we are continuously moving through. And I honestly when all of that happened when she went active duty and she moved to Corpus, and I started commuting. And then I actually moved to Corpus for about a year and a half during that span of time that she was active duty. I had to learn just how resilient I really am. Yeah, and I had to learn how to be even more independent than I was before because obviously when we're in a partnership or a marriage with someone, and we're actually living with one in the same physical space we're sharing, ideally, we're sharing a lot of the duties of keeping up the house. Old and if you have children either we have four legged children, no four legged, a two legged children, you know, it's taking care of all of them and upkeep. And so when Jen went active duty and was gone, she was gone, I would say about 70% of the time of when she was active duty Coast Guard, I had to really pick up a lot of the pieces. So I was not only navigating, being self employed and, and keeping my business going as best I could with, with the back and forth and all of that, also taking over our household. And so honestly, I had to really learn. I thought I had a really good and I don't, I did have a really great toolbox, set of tools that I would pull from, to manage stress and things like that. But oh, my goodness, I had to really up my game.

Jen Amos: 16:00

Like I'm at a tools or tools,

: 16:03

exactly. Would it be really, it could have been real easy for me to get really overwhelmed at times with everything that was on my plate. And then there's the stress of not having your loved one physically there with you and all of the emotions that go in with that. Yeah, so a typical day, for me, I am gonna get back here.

Jen Amos: 16:29

It's not typical, I get it. It's not typical. I get it.

: 16:33

Yes, a day for me would begin with some kind of meditation centering practice. And that that would look like yoga at yoga practice at times that would look like sitting in prayer or meditation, looking at certain inspirational quotes and messages, or listening to podcasts and things like that, this, this, this meeting getting centered in myself. And that that part of myself that I feel is connected to all that is that when I lean into that part of myself, I can trust the unfolding of my life, even if on the surface it looks really chaotic. Yeah, and uncertain. So that became a definite like non negotiable for me, like never before. I also began running. Oh, I had I had always exercises very interesting moving to the coast inspired me to start running on the beach, and I started running on the beach barefoot. And this is someone that I hated running my whole life. And remember, like I'm in I'm in the mid part of my life now. And so my whole life, I'd hated running but but something about moving to the coast. And I feel like it was a way to really ground myself, with all of the transition and the change and moving to a different place. It was like a way to connect with that place. And move the energy in my body that if I wasn't moving it, I would feel that overwhelm and stress to a great degree. So that was part of my self care, getting out into the community and meeting new people. I call myself an introvert extrovert. So I do like to have my, my time to myself. And I also thrive on being with people and connecting live community. So that became part of my everyday life to really make that effort. And yeah, again, I know, I know, your audience can relate to the, when you're moving around a lot. That's a real challenge in a way to create that community because you're, you're constantly you're creating the community, and then you ended up leaving a year, two or three years afterwards, and you got to start over again. Yet it's so key for so many of us to have that support and that connection. So that became a non negotiable also for me, like I made an effort, whether it was going to the coffee shop for coffee and chatting with people there or going to a meeting in town or whatever it was. I knew that that needed to be a significant part of my day to day. Yeah, experience. So those are some things that were were typical part of my day in addition to like I said everything that I was engaged in with my with my business.

Jen Amos: 19:53

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: 21:16

Yeah, it sounded like there was a lot of self care in there, which I think is really awesome, and really healthy. And I applaud you for that. And it sounds to me the new tool that you found was running. Yeah, and so that's really awesome. I, my husband, I live on the beach in Virginia Beach. And one thing I love doing is running barefooted. And it's so much better than running in shoes, I think because you just feel connected to the earth and something about shoes just really mess up my calves and my hips. When I run. I've had to go to physical therapy for it, actually. But yeah, the beach definitely something about being next to the water when you're running. You know, when you have that fresh breeze, and and the sound of the waves and yeah, and then the sand is really soft, which is a whole lot better when you're running anyway.

: 22:11

Yeah, it really is therapeutic, very therapeutic. That's one of the things that I've really missed about living by the coast is getting to do that. I'm actually we're going back to the corpus, and about a week I'm officiating a wedding there. So I'm, I'm looking forward to being back there for many reasons, including getting a couple of beach runs.

Jen Amos: 22:36

Yes. Yes, that's awesome. And sounds exciting, attending a wedding. So have fun with that. That sounds fun. I've never officiated a wedding. But it sounds fun.

: 22:51

It is, it is. And this is to go back to that connecting with community. This is someone that I was blessed to me while I was living in Corpus, when Jen was an active duty and someone that crossed my path, and we connected and now I'm getting to share this with her, you just you never know. But what's going to come of these connections when we make an effort to reach out and form relationships in the community that we're living in.

: 23:23

I like that you say that you're in introvert extrovert. I like to say that I'm an introvert that had to adapt extrovert tendencies. Because really, at the end of the day, I just want to recharge like by myself. And even even when it comes to socializing, like part of why I like podcasting is because it's it's done at set times. And then when I get to edit the episodes, it's kind of like reliving that conversation. And I find that to be very fruitful and fulfilling for me to, you know, go through that again. But like when you have something that you really want to put out there and you have a passion for it, like sometimes that just has to like, override how I feel as an introvert and I there was a quote I recently read somewhere that said, like, introverts are just so powerful when they come out and speak and connect with other people because they wouldn't do that unless they knew that they had to or there was like, like a greater cause that they had, they just had to do it. And you're also I think introverts are also more intentional when it comes to interacting because they want to recharge like really quickly. They want to go back and recharge. So. You know it's it's awesome. And I appreciate you sharing really like an overview of your life and what it was like for Jen to be in active duty. Now I know this is really soon. But do you and your family have any hopes or idea of what this new chapter of your life is going to look like? Yeah,

: 24:53

and I remember you asked me that. It's such a beautiful question and I appreciate it so much and I'm I am a big proponent of setting intention, the Empower your power of intention setting. And so to be able to answer that question, and really, even more clearly put the intentions out there of what we are desiring to be co creating this new chapter of our life together feels really great for me. So thank you for that, you know, a huge piece that Jen and I are intending is to get to go on adventures together and travel together. It's something that we love so much. And she's been on a lot of adventures out at sea, yet, the adventures that we have been able to go on together in the last few years have been pretty few and far between, because of how rigorous her schedule has been. So to be able to truly be the word that comes to be liberated from having another entity, telling us when and where and how we're gonna live our lives. So pretty incredible. And finally, we chose to have that entity tell us that so totally knew that that was part of what the journey with military life is going to be like. And now to be able to, for the most part, get to go and do as we please. So incredible. So we have, we actually like right after she got out of active duty, we took our dogs, on a road trip to New Mexico, we drove to Santa Fe, and Tao. And we're gone for about a week. And that was just amazing. And we've got a trip to Colorado planned here in a few weeks and some other trips that we're dreaming up, to take together. So we're super excited about that and to get to share our lives together on a day to day basis. It feels like such a luxury, you know, when you had that. And I know again, I am speaking to all of the people that are listening to this, you know, I know this is a shared experience that we all have that when you don't have that day to day experience of being in each other's physical space and getting to share life in that way, you really can come to understand what a gift that is. It's funny how life works that way, like when we don't have something than we realize the value of it. So now that we do have that, again, still such gratitude, to get to share a life together and do simple things like going to the grocery store together, cooking a meal together and watching a movie things like so amazing that we're using to do that again and having our friends over for dinner parties and things like that the quote unquote simple things in life just become our greatest blessing. When we go without that for a while.

Jen Amos: 28:24

Yeah, it's like you're back in the honeymoon phase again.

: 28:28

Yes, we are. We are honeymooners that, you know, and almost 12 years together. Definitely. And we both are very mindful of moving into this new chapter, again, with clear intention. And any kind of old patterns that we did have in the past that really weren't serving us anymore. We're very clear about this, releasing those and, and CO creating new agreements and new patterns that are going to serve us now because we are very different people than we were certainly than we were when we first got together and absolutely over these last few years of being in the military, like we both grown tremendously. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 29:21

there was, I read, I read somewhere something it was really good. It said something like, like, the what I love the most about love is that it changes it grows. And if you if you think love is one dimensional, like if you think that you're going to the person that you're with, it's going to be the same person 1020 years from now and you're going to be the same person then you don't really know what love is yet.

: 29:47

So that's really exciting to kind of be catching you both at this new chapter of your life. And I look forward to just following your journey on social media at least nothing, nothing inappropriate. Follow me on social media. See how this new chapter life plays out for you. One thing I wanted to mention, you bring this up pretty often, which I really like is you say shared experience, and CO creating. And those are key words, I think that for the military community is understanding that, like, sometimes you feel like you're alone. But when you understand that this is such a shared experience of loneliness, and uprooting your life, and having to start over and figuring out how to make new friends, it doesn't feel as lonely anymore. And it makes it easier and knowing that, like, it's a team effort, like you wouldn't be in this if you didn't have like your wife with you, and or have your wife involved in figuring this out together. So I just, I just love how you use those words shared experience and CO creating.

: 30:51

Thank you. They're, they're some of my favorite words. Yeah, something that has become a, I would say a mantra, or an affirmation for me, that I often share is a big piece of what is occurring across the globe at this point is a recognition that we are all interconnected. And that we are interdependent and do have this, you know, microcosm, journey, meaning we each have our own journeys that we're on. And then we have the journey that we're on with our family and our communities. And then we have the human journey, that we're all on together. And there are so many parallels and universal experiences, and change. And transition is absolutely one of those, like we all move through changes and transitions in life. And certainly, the military community knows that in a profound by. Yeah, so I will often say that we're moving into a place in our consciousness that is beyond me, is we. So even though I am on this journey, I'm on my own journey as Heather, Elizabeth Mary with all its twists and turns, I am also a part of the collective we, and there are millions and millions and millions of other beings that are on a journey of transition and changes and evolution. And I'm not alone. There, there are millions that that are feeling overwhelmed with all the shifts and lights and are missing their significant other all of these different shared experiences that we have, and it does provide some peace amongst all of the shifts and the transitions to know that I am part of a week. Yes. Exactly. For recognizing that.

Jen Amos: 32:59

Yes. Well, that's what I do as a host, I listen.

: 33:05

You're very, you're very gifted at it. Oh, thank you,

Jen Amos: 33:08

thank you, I'm gonna tell that to my husband. Speaking of changes, so part of why we created holding down the fort, is we wanted to have a podcast show where we can share resources, education, or just awareness of for, for what is available for military spouses and families, and even just sharing experiences and ways that people in the military community are really a have adapted to this lifestyle. And so today, we wanted to talk with you today on how to be grounded in an uncertain world. This is a practical, yet transformational set of six key tools that you have, and that I know you teach shifting from survival mode to thriving. And so before we really dive into the how tos, I'd love for you to share. First of all, do you feel like this type of information is like just readily available for the military community? And if not, why do you think that? I

: 34:15

would say that, as far as I am aware, I don't feel like this kind of information is readily available. I certainly have a deep passion to share it as far and wide as I can with the skill set and the tools that I have to share. My experience in the few years that I was very much a part of the military community is that in a lot of ways, let me preface saying this, that it's this I'm not saying this is bad or good right or wrong is how it is. Yeah, I feel like the military community is still in a survival kind of mode in a lot of ways. Mm. And so And the interesting piece about that is, like I mentioned a little bit ago we are, we are evolving as a human family, we are shifting our consciousness in really incredible ways. And so we have the capacity within us to shift from that survival, I just got to get through the day, I just got to make it through this crises, or through this huge change, and then on to the next one, we are in a space to shift into a place of finding that centeredness and that peace that I was speaking about earlier that I made a priority in my life, so that we can, regardless of all of the transitions that we're moving through, we can experience overall wellness, you know, we can experience joy, we can experience meaning and connection in our lives. I just, I don't feel like there are a lot of resources out there at this moment for military families to connect with that troops. Now, I say that, and then in the next breath, I'm gonna say, kudos to you, Jen, for creating this podcast, as a resource for families, like I really feel like you're on the cutting edge of something really incredible. And that is very much needed. So thank you for creating this space. And I have a sense that will it is creating a ripple effect out in the world that there will be other resources popping up to support families in in moving out of that, that survival mode, and into a place of feeling peaceful and connected within themselves and their lives. Yeah, thank you

Jen Amos: 37:07

for saying that. I agree. I feel like we're going through a cultural shift, where it's more about, like the American Dream has to be redefined. I think the American dream is, in a sense about survival. It's about like checking, checking the boxes and fulfilling certain things and be like, okay, like, I got married, I got the house, I have the kids, they're going to school, they got jobs. Okay, cool, they can continue the cycle. But nowadays, and this is something I was just reading the other day, it was a it was a report by American Express that talked about like women, women owned businesses. And today really, there's just more people who are willing to aspire for some higher level of happiness, at the at the expense of like their basic needs, they're willing to seek out their passions be, you know, be like the starving artists, as a lot of people can describe it as, and it makes people happy. And it's it is kind of interesting. Yeah, it is interesting to see that cultural shift, and what that will look like for us in these next upcoming decades. I'm very fascinated to see it. And I feel like I couldn't have been at a better time in my life as well to be a part of the the waves of change. So it's pretty exciting, I think. And I'm glad to have a platform here this with holding down the fort to have these type of discussions for anyone else that's just feeling the same way that doesn't just want to survive, but thrive as as you say. So yeah, wait. So with that said, Heather, Elizabeth, what I would like to do is really get into these six key tools for anyone that is looking, you know, whether it's military families, or really any, any of our listeners, looking to shift from survival mode to thriving, I'd love for you to get into that for our listeners to learn, and I'm here to learn as well.

: 39:14

We are all eternal students. Yes, in the school of life. So it's, it's wonderful to be receptive to that. So I love to play with words and play with acronyms. So thrive is actually an acronym. And those six key tools that you mentioned, each one of the letters of Dr. represents one of those tools. If anyone is a note taker, like I am, you might even feel guided to write down thrive on a piece of paper, put it in your phone, and then you can write these, these six words that are part of Thrive I bet we're going to talk about, and it will automatically, as you reflect back on it, it will remind you and continue to activate you into these tools and these ways of being really, they're their evolutionary ways of being. So that shift that you were just speaking to Jen and, and how we are redefining the American dream. These are absolutely aspects of the shifts. And this, this new way of being that honestly is very ancient, a lot of what I'm going to speak of our tools and wisdom based on indigenous people. So I am so excited and grateful to share this with you all. And it's something that I've been sharing for about a year and a half or so all of this came to me while I was smack dab in the middle of active duty military life of corpsman, I was putting it to practice, I definitely walk my talk and and practice what I preach. So and some of it actually, interestingly enough, we've already spoken a little bit about so the first aspect of Thrive is of course, the T and T stands for tribe. So we shared a little bit earlier about the power of community, and creating community. And, of course, this energy of a tribe that very ancient. And it is a way of being I mentioned the beyond me as we know, it is a way of being that that we did move away from for a while, especially in the Western world, we really moved away from that sense of community and that that sense of the tribe in a lot of ways. And we're we're being reminded of the power of a tribe, that we're not here to do this all on our own, you know, we need one another we need that those relationships and those connections. So it is key to thriving to, to create a tribe to co create a tribe for ourselves. And I get to honor that our military families this is this can be especially challenging for because there is so much upheaval and moving and, and transition that occurs. Yet I would say in the next breath, it's even more important because of that, that we that we create that tried for ourselves. So really making that a non negotiable a priority for ourselves to, to reach out. And that can look a multitude of ways that can look like picking up the phone and calling family and friends, when when we're having a difficult day that can look like joining a church group or a mom's group or some kind of group in the community that we're feeling drawn to a book club, you know, whatever it might be that we're, you know, we have a shared interest with that group of people reaching out to our neighbors. What what however, the multitude of ways that we can create community, it's so key to our capacity to feel like we are a part of something because we are Yeah, we are we are connected, I will often share about the four spiritual needs and these are inter spiritual needs. So whatever Kathy might be on religious path or spiritual, this is a universal need, that we all have is to be seen, to be heard, to belong and to feel connected. So those are needs that we have, if we aren't having those needs met, we are going to definitely be stuck in that that survival mode. So co creating that tried to so important. And obviously we connect on social media, and we connect through email, which is an incredible tool, yet we need that face to face connection as well, even the introverts. Yeah, that's true that face to face. So finding that balance of creating a tribe and connecting with our tribe, both virtually and especially in person as well. So the next aspect is would be our age, and the age is for the heart. So this is an awareness that we have been for a long time we've been on autopilot, thinking that our head is the place we need to go to quote on what quote figure things out and to find their way and whatnot. And something that's happening, as we're all in this shift that's occurring within our consciousness is that actually our heart is our true north is our guide, our heart is going to be gifting us an awareness of when something feels like truth when something feels resonance, when we're when we're feeling that meaning in that connection in our lives. So making a conscious effort to check in with our heart, on an ongoing basis, that doesn't need to be a complicated thing that can be as simple as placing your hand over your heart. And I just invite us all to do that in this moment, right now, this place a hand over your heart. And create that space for CO creating that space together right now, to connect in with with our heart space. How is our heart feeling right now? My heart is feeling

Jen Amos: 45:57

pretty calm, pretty calm right now. And just like present with you.

: 46:03

Beautiful, beautiful. I feel that as well. And I feel our heart also is brings us into awareness of, of how interconnected we all are with everything. So I'm feeling that connection with all of the people that are in will be listening in on our conversation and knowing that it's the collaborative conversation. Like, Jen, you and I are the ones talking right now, I just feel the sense of all of the voices that are sharing in this conversation with us. So I'm always keeping present with our heart space. So the next piece is AR AR. And that is to renew. So this is an understanding that literally every breath that we take is a new beginning. So when I mentioned that, that tendency to feel overwhelmed, when there's all kinds of changes in shifting happening, and if we're on our own, and our you know, our spouse is overseas or, you know, on a mission or whatever it might be and feeling overwhelmed with everything, and oh, how am I going to do it all and all of that, that our head tells us, we can literally pause. And again, place a handle of our heart and take a breath and know that that is a new beginning. That is a reset. Every time the sun rises, right, we recognize this is a new beginning, this is a new day. So every day is a new beginning a new opportunity to be renewed, to be reborn. And that goes all the way to a breath. And that is it's it's it's pretty incredible. And again, it's very simple. You know, when you really think about it yet we aren't taught these things in our culture, right, right, or we aren't. But it truly is amazing the power of pausing and taking a breath and realizing, okay, I can start fresh in this moment, I can hit that reset button. And as we were speaking to this whole time that we're living in, is about renewal is about a new beginning, in all of these transitions that we're experiencing on the planet, that many of them feel very challenging and very difficult. And not to minimize that. They are also part of this releasing of old what we call old paradigms, or old belief systems. So we can be birthing new ones that service at this time. This new American Dream that you spoke to. So that energy of renewal is huge. It's so much a part of everything we are and everything that's happening right now. So the more that we can align with that, it can support us in getting unstuck, of feeling like, Oh, I'm trapped, and are all this stuff. And how am I ever going to get out from under it? Like well take a breath and put your hand on your heart and know that that literally is creating a space for a new beginning. I love it. So now we're going to flow into the eye. And so remember, again, we're spelling out thrive here. So we had our tribe with the T our heart with the H to renew with the R and with the eye is to inspire. Think about okay, we weren't connecting with our tribe. We're tuning in with the heart. We're recognizing that we can renew from moment to moment that really creates a space for us to tap into, okay, what inspires me? How can I feel inspired in this moment? And oftentimes, again, our head is gonna get us in a place where we focus on what isn't inspiring. Yeah, we don't like what isn't working. So it takes a conscious choice to pull ourselves out of that, and choose to focus our intention on what does inspire me. And no matter what's going on in our lives, the shifts and the changes we're going through, we can always find people places, things, ideas, our music, that inspires us. And that's going to immediately shift our vibration and our energy into a place that feels really good. Right? You feel inspired, you feel good, right? So excited about life.

: 51:00

I feel like when you are inspired it, it almost brings you back in the present again, because you can't lie. I think when you're inspired, you feel alive. And you can't feel that unless like you're there to feel it. I think when you do get renewed when you when you renew yourself, and you like take a breath and kind of start over again, the inspiration almost comes immediately. I think of like, even if I have a stressful day, when I know how to snap out of it and be present. I realize like, oh, like today was stressful. But I'm on the beach right now walking my dog. And I didn't have this even a year ago, like I have to remember, like what I have in front of me and be grateful for that. And be inspired by that. And remember, like, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing. So that I can have more, because I don't have kids yet. So I'm gonna have more occasions like this where I could really just enjoy being on the beach with my dog. But yeah, that's that's what I think of when you say Inspire is like it really takes you back to the present.

: 51:58

It does. Yes, thank you so much for sharing that. Yes, it does bring us into that that presence. So yes, being conscious about focusing on what inspires us and how to how to bring more of that into our lives. And like you shared it, it can be as simple as walking on the beach and connecting with nature, you know that in itself. And we have, we're so blessed that no matter where we are, even if you're in the middle of a city, or there is nature always around us, you know, even putting our feet on the earth. And like we talked about the running on the beach, and all that. So grounding, that in itself is a way to feel that connection and to potentially feel inspired and grateful in that present moment, after we flow with this energy of inspiring because I want to be sure and share this before I move to the next one is that when we're in that space of feeling inspired, we inspire others. So knowing that, to inspire is not just about you being inspired. It's the fact that you inspire others in recognizing that we each have that power within us that, that when we're when we're pregnant when we're grateful when we're tuned into ourselves, and we're feeling inspired that that inspires others to find that place within them. We move from that inspiring energy. And then our V is about to visualize that we have this, this energy of being inspired and inspiring others. And then we take that energy and use our powerful, powerful mind to visualize what we truly desire to create in our lives at that moment, at that moment, and this doesn't have to be any huge thing. No, yeah. A small thing like this realizing I'm going to create the space this afternoon. I'm so inspired by being on the beach. Today, I'm going to create space and take my kids to the beach today. And I visualize all of us being on the beach playing together. You know that in itself is is a beautiful, beautiful thing that creates an wonderful impact in our lives, for ourselves and for our family. Or it can be I'm here in this new community. I am visualizing creating a support group for military families. And having having that inspiration and visualizing what that could be like what that feels like. And that energy is incredibly powerful. That intense Should is incredibly powerful for how they're able to create and manifest in our lives. Yes, knowing that the power of of our focus what we intend on what we visualize, we are able to create, and that's on the whole spectrum, we oftentimes are doing that on autopilot, or unconsciously, we're visualizing things, and we are creating them in our lives. And we're like, this doesn't feel good. Doing this, right. So knowing that we have the capacity to shift that and to visualize things that we do really desire to create in our lives, that are going to feel meaningful and fulfilling. And again, building upon that, that beautiful connection that we all are yearning for, and that we deserve to have in our lives. Yeah, so from that place of visualizing the our final letter that he has thrive is about emphasizing, so to emphasize. And this, I'm going to bring this kind of circle all the way back around to what I've, we've talked about earlier, Jen, around the beyond me as we in our shared humanity and the power of the tribe, just knowing that we're all in this together. And when we're able to be in that space of compassion and love for ourselves, first and foremost, yes, you know, find that self care that we talked about earlier to emphasizing that wherever we are in our lives, from moment to moment, we're doing the best we know how to do with what we have to work with, we truly are. And just being being gentle with ourselves and kind with ourselves and compassionate with ourselves. And when we're able to offer that to ourselves, we're able to extend that out to others. And just know that we really are all in this together. Yeah, we're all in this together. And moving away, back to the shifting from surviving to thriving, moving away from an old idea of being in competition with one another, that one person's gotta win, and one person's gotta lose. And just all of this energy of division that many of us are, are dealing with right now, I would say all of us are, yeah, in one degree or another. And we're all yearning to be liberated from that. So a way to do that is to be in that that energy of empathizing with one another. And, again, first and foremost, offering that to ourselves. That that kindness and that compassion and that gentleness that we're so deserving of. Yeah. So that is our thrive.

Jen Amos: 58:13

I love it. So if anyone ever needs a definition on thrive, I recommend referring to Heather Elizabeth's acronym for thrive, which if you did not catch up the first time because I was taking notes, T is for tribe. H is for heart, R is for renew, eyes for inspire V is for visualize, and E is for emphasize, beautiful. Oh, I love it. I love it. And I feel like our listeners will definitely get a lot out of that. If this resonates with you in any way, please feel free to reach out to us. You'll know how to do that by just checking out our show notes. I just thought that was such a great explanation. And I couldn't have been more present with you till now. Talking about thriving, I just feel like the whole word of the acronym is about being present. And knowing that you are connected, like by default, we're already connected with people. It's just believing it, it's believing that you are because sometimes it's kind of like when some people, they'll like deflect a compliment, you know, to say, Oh, you're really pretty or you're you know, you have a beautiful soul. And you're like, oh, no, I don't. But if you are like the truth is you already have it. If you don't believe it, then yeah, it's easy to think that you don't have it. And I think what a good reminder for the military community, whether you're still active duty or you just transitioned or you're a veteran now is knowing that we all are connected and none of us are alone. And if you feel that way to renew yourself and find the inspiration to find your tribe, because they're probably a lot closer than you think they are. Yeah, wow. Ooh, I just I feel like I could talk to you Wherever and listen to you forever.

: 1:00:03

But I know both of our times are super valuable. So for anyone that is interested in getting a hold of you how they're Elizabeth if they want to learn more about how to not just survive, but to thrive, how can they do that? How can they find you online? Or even just get a hold of you,

: 1:00:20

sir? Thank you, Jen. So I'm on social media. I'm pretty active on social media, and both on Facebook and Instagram, and it's shine and all capitals. Shi ne, Heather, Elizabeth, anyone is welcome to email me as well shine Heather elizabeth@gmail.com. And my website has a ton of information and ways to connect with me in through that platform as well. And that is sign Heather Elizabeth dot one. And that's o n e one. So shine. Heather, Elizabeth Scott one. And I would love to connect with anyone who is called to reach out.

Jen Amos: 1:01:06

Yes. And I always say that if anyone wants to hear Heather Elizabeth, again, we would love to have you on the show, to talk more and elaborate on other stuff if you are open to it, you know, so we'll see Harry Oh, yeah. So that'd be really cool. I mean, this is really my goal with this podcast is to bring on people again, like not just once but numerous times, to continue to grow the community and add more education and resources and awareness to one another. Because just like what you said, like this is a shared experience. So it's, it's great and really helpful if we can share what we're going through and the lessons that we've learned, and how we can help one another. So with that said, Heather, Elizabeth, do you have any closing thoughts for us?

: 1:01:55

You know, I feel called to reflect Jen that just to remember how very special each and every one of us is, and that we're all here for a reason. And we all have special gifts to share with the world. So please, keep that in your heart. And just know that you are loved and you are honored for who you are.

Jen Amos: 1:02:19

It's great way to wrap up the show. I have there Elizabeth, I want to congratulate you and Jen for your for this new chapter of your life. Don't be a stranger. I'm excited to continue following your journey on social media. And I want to thank our listeners for listening in. And I wish you all a wonderful rest of the day and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode.

Unknown Speaker: 1:02:45

Thank you, Jen.

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