Spiritual anxiety isn’t a sign of weak faith—it’s a trauma response. In this powerful solo episode, Dawn unpacks the difference between religious trauma and the fear-based patterns it leaves behind. From rapture panic to scrupulosity (religious OCD), she shares her story and offers a new lens of love, healing, and truth. You are not broken—you’re healing. And you are not that girl anymore.
Hey friends. Welcome back to Not That Girl anymore. I'm your host, Dawn Boon, a trauma therapist and coach and the founder here of Embrace Your Brave. And this is a space where we can have real conversations, we can share our stories, and we can continue to heal together. And today we're talking about something that's close to my heart, and especially this week.
m of fear around your faith, [:
This is not a sign of weak faith. It's not a flaw in you. And as a trauma therapist, I really love the way Tiffany yucky Brooks names it in her book. Spiritual Anxiety is a trauma response, not a faith failure. Let that sink in. You are not broken. You are responding to something that harmed you. Spiritual anxiety is a trauma response, not a faith failure.
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The spiritual anxiety is what happened inside of us as a result. It's what grows inside of us because of that trauma. It's the guilt, it's the dread, the sleepless nights, right? So we could say religious trauma plants. The seed and spiritual anxiety is the fruit that grows inside of us. And here's the thing, the trauma that happened inside of you, [00:03:00] right?
It can heal. We can heal. Trauma can be healed because trauma is the wound. So let's name some of the ways this could show up in our lives. Spiritual anxiety could look like that, not in your stomach when you walk into church, or that guilt that you feel for missing church or missing a service, or not praying enough or the fear of punishment.
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And listen, those are not neutral teachings. Those things wire our nervous systems for fear that is trauma, not truth. And it, it's not even just the sermons. Many of us probably remember the youth group skits of being left behind or the crucifixion reenactments that we were told, this is your fault. This is what your sin did.
anted shame instead of love. [:
I was devastated by what I did. I literally put myself in a corner and I punished myself. Nobody had to shame me. I shamed myself. That's how deep the fear already lived in me as a kid. That spiritual anxiety, right? It doesn't just live in the big doctrines, it creeps into the tiniest corners of life, like one accidental cuss word.
o church because I was sick, [:
So just to clarify, I went to church with my grandparents. My parents didn't go, and because of that, part of the church's message to me was that my parents didn't love me because they didn't do all the things that the church says you're supposed to do. They didn't go to church every week. They didn't read me the Bible, and so they told me they didn't love me.
family, trying to evangelize [:
It's just part of who she is, and yet the church taught me to shame her, to question her and to see her as less than. The truth is, and I'm speaking from my own experience here. Church taught me more about how to hate than how to love more about how to judge people, exclude people and shame people than how to embody Jesus.
ortions don't just wound us. [:
It shows up in constantly repeating the sinner's prayer over and over again. Every altar call anybody. Confessing the same thing again and again. Never feeling quite secure in your salvation. And if that's you, I just wanna say you're not broken, you're not weak. That's trauma in your nervous system. And it can heal.
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First of all, if you're feeling afraid, you're not alone. Many of us have carried that fear since childhood. We were told Jesus might return at any moment and we could be left behind. I still remember the left behind series, those books and movies that terrified a generation That was us. Looking back. Now, I, I see that so differently.
That was not love. That was cruelty. That was taken advantage of young, vulnerable minds in order to gain power and control. And maybe you felt that too. Lying awake at night, terrified that you'd be left behind or walking into an empty house and panicking because you thought your family had disappeared.
girl, I was secretly feeling [:
It actually started in the 18 hundreds with a preacher named John Nelson Darby, and then it spread through the Scofield reference Bible, and later through books like the Left Behind series that I just talked about. So for nearly 1800 years before that, Christians never believed in a secret escape plan.
ings new, not abandoning us. [:
I'm not alone. And the truth is this, God is love. And love doesn't terrify children into obedience. Love doesn't abandon families. Love doesn't leave us panicked and powerless. So if fear rises up in you today, I want you to know that's not faith, that's trauma. And trauma can heal. Love is stronger than fear.
ly one I know so many of you [:
Am I good enough? And then getting stuck in that fight or flight or freeze, right? That hypervigilant state. Carry in that shame so deep in our soul that it impacts every part of our life, and that spiritual anxiety makes us more vulnerable to being manipulated and exploited. And if you remember, Jesus himself pushed back on religious exploitation.
r religious leaders who used [:
It's staying small, silenced and ashamed, and it's losing years of our lives to fear and to leaders who never had our best interest and heart. And that's why I call it trauma doesn't just sit in our beliefs. It impacts our whole lives. And the more I heal, the more I see Jesus so differently. You know, for years I believed the message that Jesus died for me because I was worthless.
, I was broken, and that his [:
Is what they were talking about. It was their cultural lens and their perception of God was that he was angry and he was abusive. And you see that all throughout the Old Testament, but Jesus came. To say that was never who God was. That was their perception of who God was, but it was never who God was.
And Jesus showed us through [:
It's not because they don't care, but it's because the church has lost sight of love. The very essence of God. And when communities center fear and control instead of compassion, people walk away and sometimes that walking away is holy. It's saying, I refuse to say, stay in systems that distort God's heart.
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And how do we heal? I want us to always know that there's hope for healing. So number one, awareness. Naming this as trauma and not weakness, and then it's compassion. It's treating ourselves with that gentleness and that curiosity and that compassion instead of more shame, and then it's reconnecting with our body.
d me is reframing, see Jesus [:
And listen, we just start somewhere. We don't heal overnight, but healing is absolutely possible. I've seen it and I've lived it.
not have to feel like fear. [:
You are becoming the woman who heals, who reclaims. Who knows that love gets the final word. And if you've made it this far in listening to this, that itself is healing. You're already choosing love over fear, even by just being here. So if this is you, and you can relate to the spiritual anxiety that we've talked about today, and you can feel that deep in your bones.
eating safe spaces for women [:
It's for women who are ready to untangle that fear from faith and reclaim your voice and rebuild spirituality on your own terms. It's a place where we can share our stories and we can be seen and known and loved and validated, and where we can be a part of healing each other in community because you deserve a faith and a freedom that feels like love.
ur pain matters. Your dreams [:
If you're struggling, please reach out to a trusted professional. You are not alone and you are so worthy of healing. Even if your voice shakes, keep using it, your healing matters. If you're ready to go deeper, you can book a session by clicking the link in the show notes or visiting our website. Embrace your brave.org to learn more about our therapy and trauma-informed coaching options.
Let's explore how we can walk this journey together. You are not alone. Embrace your brave sis. You're not that girl anymore.
