Transcripts
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: when
we're on our phones, we're just elsewhere.
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the quickest way for you to create
misery in your current life is
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to wish you were somewhere else
or in some way to be elsewhere.
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The understanding that the way that
we interpret the events in our lives
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matters more than the events themselves.
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Right?
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obviously we, we have
to care for ourselves.
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We have to care about our lives.
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Um, but the reality is that other care.
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Is actually a much
better mood boost, right?
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So if you're interested in raising
the way that you feel like improving
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your wellness, your meaning, your
mattering in life, the quickest
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path to that isn't self-care.
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It's other care.
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Russell Newton: Hello listeners
Thank you for joining us today.
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Our guest is Iuri Melo.
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is a licensed clinical social worker, as
well as the co-founder of School Pulse,
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which you can find at school pulse.org.
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Iuri, as we normally do here, take a few
minutes, introduce yourself, and we'll
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let the conversation go from there.
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
I love it.
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Russell, thank you so
much for letting me come.
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I love the, I love the topic, I love the
title of your podcast and, uh, I hope
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that I can find lots of fun ways with
maybe some ideas and some strategies to.
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To make those skills Right.
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Really come to life to your listeners.
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But, so yeah, my, my name is Iuri Melo.
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I'm a, I've been a licensed clinical
social worker now for a long time.
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Most of my time and experience
has really been as a
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psychotherapist, uh, of 21 years.
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I'm still doing that, uh, while at
the same time trying to, to create
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this, this wonderful service that
started about seven years ago.
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And maybe I'll tell you just a
little bit about that in a moment.
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But I'm, uh, originally
from, from Portugal.
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I was actually born in Africa, a long
ways away, then moved to Portugal, grew
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up there, then came to America right at,
at the age of 15 and have stuck around.
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And, uh, I have to admit, it's,
it's been a real, a real fortunate
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and a real blessing in my life.
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I'm a married man.
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My wonderful Katie.
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I've got five incredible kids.
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Uh, three of them that are kind of
out of the house, one that's here, but
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that's about to be gone in about a week.
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And then we'll be left with our
amazing little girl who's well little.
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She's 14 and kind of just
starting high school this year.
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And, uh, uh, it's, it's, it's
been a really wonderful time.
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I, we live in a, in a wonderful place.
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If, if any of you are familiar with, uh,
Southern Utah, we're about an hour and 45
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minutes away from Las Vegas in this little
pocket of just beautiful high desert.
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We're kind of in between the
Grand Canyon, lake Powell, Bryce
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Canyon, Zion National Park, and St.
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George just kind of resides in
that kind of high altitude desert.
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And, uh, as a result
of that, there's just.
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Unbelievable.
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Beautiful world class climbing all around.
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Um, and I've been climbing now for a lot
of time and actually was kind of, uh, a
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founder in a way, in a unique way of what
I call it venture based therapy, which
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is actually, I actually take my amazing
clients and we take advantage of this
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incredible location, and we rock climb,
we boulder, we do canyoneering, we do
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repelling, and we use that as kind of
part of this therapeutic experience, not,
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not just as, as like a vehicle to kind
of communicate some sort of a therapeutic
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concept, but as I say to my clients,
like, by the time you and I are done,
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you're gonna be a legitimate climber.
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Like, so this'll be.
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A skill, right?
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Something a a, a piece of mastery that
you can utilize at any point in your
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life and just enjoy and just be outside,
exercise and do something incredible.
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And so that's just a little bit about me.
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We, we started School Pulse
about seven years ago.
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I'll tell you briefly
about that, if that's okay.
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Uh, interestingly enough, uh, as
probably as it is with most things
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we've kind of recognized, or, or, or
really the program came as kind of
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the genesis of, of some crisis that
was happening here in our community.
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We had, in 2017, uh, we lost about seven
students to suicide here in our community.
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It was.
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Odd actually, in the whole state of Utah.
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It was just, it was odd.
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Uh, there, there were lots of
suicides, lots of student suicides,
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and a good friend of mine who was a
local principal here, uh, a principal
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that I believe is a real innovator,
uh, and definitely whose focus was
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on just student wellness and student
excellence, and he reached out to me.
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By then, I had written a couple of
books and, uh, he, I think his concern
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obviously, because he had lost a couple of
students to suicide, some of my children
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were actually going to that school.
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Uh, and he just felt like all that
he really had at his disposal were
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just reactive tools in a sense.
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He saw himself kind of passively
waiting for crisis, and then the
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crisis would blow up and then
everybody would kind of rush around.
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Did the best that they could to
intervene and to, to bring peace,
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to restore some peace back.
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But he decided that he
wanted to do a lot more.
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Um, and so we kind of had these
mastermind type discussions and
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brainstorming sessions about what we
could do, you know, whether we could
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add more resources or, or how could
we be a little bit more proactive
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and truly preventative, not just.
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Not just act in kind of an
intervention type of way.
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Uh, and then I reconnected with a
good friend of mine who's a software
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engineer, true genius, uh, who helped
us to kind of put this idea together.
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And within very quick moment,
we decided that we were going to
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proactively engage students via text.
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Uh, and then later on a few years,
we actually ended up not, not only
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continuing to do that, but actually
providing a live team of support.
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And so throughout the year, during the
summer, over the holidays, before and
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after school, we have this incredible
team that we train that provides
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these students with an enthusiastic,
kind, gentle, and understanding voice.
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We have the most comprehensive mental
health resource for teens in the world.
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And I know that that.
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It can sound so silly and
and cliche, but it really is.
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We have it, we created it, we put
it together, uh, and we deliver that
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to schools in addition to another,
to a whole suite of services.
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And, and I think, Russell, you were
mentioning that you were a school
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counselor, uh, at, at one point.
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And that's actually one of those pieces
is our hope is that we can walk into
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any school and immediately amplify and
multiply their ability to reach out
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to students and to provide support.
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And so whether you're, you're
an administrator, right?
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And you're looking to enhance, you know,
the, the mental fitness of your students,
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the ex, the student success of your
students, we can help you to do that.
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We're evidence-based.
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We're, we're grounded in positive
psychology, growth mindset, and other
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cognitive behavioral strategies.
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And we can come and deliver
just extraordinary value.
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Uh.
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Some of our stories, honestly,
Russell, I mean, are just, I mean,
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they're just like Nobel prize winning
type stuff that's just incredible.
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All the way from students who
are just doing wonderful, right?
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And we're enhancing their experience
all the way to students of course
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who are deeply troubled, right?
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Who are struggling with, you know,
symptoms of depression or anxiety, or
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whose parents are divorced or they're
reporting physical or sexual abuse,
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or they themselves are having suicidal
ideation or self-harming or homicidal
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ideation all the way to school shootings.
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I mean, these are just things that
we have dealt with and are dealing
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with throughout the country.
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Uh, but we're so honored.
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Our outcomes are just phenomenal.
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And it's amazing to me, you know,
that we can do so much good, uh,
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not just through some of our amazing
resources that we deliver to schools,
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but also through our live text-based
support and our email campaigns.
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It's just really exciting, um, but really
challenging y'all at the same time and
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I'm sure you're quite aware of that.
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So, so that's just a little bit about me
and what I'm kind of doing right now, but
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Russell Newton: Thank you for that.
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Uh,
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: bet.
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Russell Newton: I say we as a society,
I think appreciate the kind of
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efforts that you put forth in the.
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The health and safety of our children.
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It makes me a bit emotional,
just, uh, hearing the story
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of, of you and what you do.
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I know how difficult it is.
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I just to get this, you were working as
a social worker and you teamed up with
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the principal that was an educator.
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Did I get that right?
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
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So the genesis of our company began there.
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The other co-founder is, is Trent Staler.
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He's the software engineer.
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So him and I actually kind
of grew the company together.
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Uh, this principle in, in a way is
still connected with us, is still
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involved with us, but he was really
kind of the, the force, right?
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Like this is happening.
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He came to me, we began the conversations,
and then Trent and I, right.
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We really kind of took this and have
grown it over the past seven, eight
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years, uh, into what it is now.
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Which to be very honest, it's,
I, I mean, I still look at us.
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I mean, even though we're seven
years in as really a startup, like,
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I mean, it's, I mean, every, every
year we're just, we're creating more.
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We really just try to
listen to school counselors.
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We try to listen to administrators.
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We try to listen to supers.
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We try to understand like,
what's the problem, what are the
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problems, what are the struggles?
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And then we literally just come
in and plug in the solutions.
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Uh.
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Obviously, and from a very biased
perspective, we believe that we're just
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doing it better in a more complete, uh,
and streamlined way than anybody else.
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And so we really kind of, I like to say
that when, whenever we present ourselves
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to a school, we really like to present
ourselves to them as a, as a multi-tier
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solution, you know, to whatever issues
they're dealing with specifically.
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Obviously with student success, student
suicide prevention, student wellness, you
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know, whatever word they're using, social
and emotional learning opportunities.
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And we just come in and provide kind
of the, you know, the Walmart version,
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well, maybe not Walmart, maybe more
like Target, like a target solution
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or Costco solution to their, just
like, to what they're looking for.
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And so.
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It's, it's cool, and especially whenever
we talk to school counselors, man, I mean,
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we just like, we just blow their minds.
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They're just like, oh my gosh.
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Like, you know, why didn't
we have this earlier?
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And it's, and it's incredible.
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And so it makes us really happy because we
can connect so well with that population.
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And in a sense they, they're really
the mental health hub of the school.
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Right.
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Even though as a school counselor,
I, I dare say that they probably
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do less of the counseling Right.
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And much more of class management,
graduation and things like that.
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They probably spend a lot of time
dealing with scheduling and probably
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a little bit less time doing more
of that kind of mental health
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or, or student wellness, which is
probably where they would rather be.
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Uh, but kind of, they don't
have a lot of time to do that.
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So for us to come in and provide
that additional help and really to
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make them look super awesome because
we can just connect them with.
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Really nice resources, which I will
share with you Russell, for you,
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for your listeners, for you to go
look at and take full advantage of.
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And you don't have to put in an email or
anything like that, or it's just yours
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to go look at and for your parents to go
look at especially and uh, we really want
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to give out some, some value for sure.
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Russell Newton: You said uh, was it
2017 that there were the, these number
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of suicides in the state, uh, that I
did teach in a small private school
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and worked my way up, taught for
many years full-time, and then worked
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as a counselor per for a few years.
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so in a small school we didn't have
the kind of that the public schools
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do, but even in that small school,
we did experience a few suicides,
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throughout my time
there, over a period of.
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About 13 years or so, and it
really is devastating, even to
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people that didn't, might not have
known that individual, just to,
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to know somebody was in that
difficult of a situation and it was
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unknown to everyone around them.
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And my mind keeps coming back to that
because it's a, you mentioned, uh,
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the range of students that you talk
with, those that are doing well, you
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helped you better those that are not
having the best of times, you make
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things, uh, a little more bearable
and those that are really struggling.
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And my thought when you said
that was, you know what?
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It's so difficult to know which kid
that is it could be the starting
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quarterback that is really struggling
and experiencing abuse and having those
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ideations you talked about it, it,
it could be the real quiet kid that's
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just really enjoying his time and.
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experiences it differently than others.
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We don't know from day to day what a,
a particular individual is experiencing
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and thinking and feeling at that time.
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It's a really difficult thing I, I just
can't say enough, I don't how valuable
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that service must be to school counselors,
to parents, to students and their friends.
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Was there something in 2017 maybe
that triggered this, this space?
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I don't want to get into any, I don't,
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Sure.
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Russell Newton: don't, don't ask this as
a political or economic or any kind of
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
No, no, no.
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Russell Newton: that many, in that
short of timeframe, in that geographic
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location seems, uh, I'm sure it was
an anomaly from the normal statistics
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to put it coldly of, of a year.
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iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Uh,
it, it, it was, I, I think that there was
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an increase, I think in 2016 and 2017.
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Uh, and interestingly enough, kind of
in this mountain west region of kind
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of Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Nevada,
Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, uh, those
246
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states, interestingly enough, many times
I at least, you know, compared, I think
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with, with other states in the country,
uh, just experience a little bit of
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a higher, a higher rate of, of, uh,
of, of teen suicide than other states.
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As far as the reasoning behind
that, I mean, I would say that,
250
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that it definitely falls within it.
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I mean, there wouldn't have been anything
really specific there that's happening
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in that state compared to others.
253
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Uh, but definitely falls within,
I think about, uh, you know,
254
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I wanna say 2010 plus, right?
255
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When we begin to see a lot of these,
um, mental health concerns or these
256
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mental health trends that all begin
to kind of trend in a negative way.
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So, and, and I think we've certainly
seen that now, and I think, I think it
258
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was Vi Murdoch, uh, what's his name?
259
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The, the general, um, oh my gosh, I
can't think of his name anyways, but
260
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he's, he talked about the youth mental
health crisis and really said that it's
261
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kind of the defining crisis of our time.
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Uh, and he was really talking about
just this incredible amount of students.
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And I'm sure that as a teacher
and as a school counselor, you saw
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that as well, where we're not just
talking about, uh, really extreme
265
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behaviors, but really high numbers.
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Uh, of students who are reporting, uh,
feeling consistently sad and hopeless.
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Like we're talking like, uh, like
40 to 50% of like high school
268
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and secondary age students.
269
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We're talking about, um, about 30%
that reported, you know, feeling
270
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or having suicidal ideation.
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You know, within, within the
past year we're talking about
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the highest levels of anxiety.
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We're talking about just a
significant amount of issues.
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And there are, I, I think that there's
been some really interesting research.
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I'm sure some of your listeners have
read the book or heard of the book.
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Uh, the Anxious Generation where
the author, I think poses some
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pretty interesting, and I feel well
researched and well documented.
278
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Maybe some persuasive arguments as
to where all of this is coming from.
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He actually begins that, uh, by
turning the focus a little bit
280
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to our, to parents a little bit.
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Um, I don't think in a real
blamey type of way, but I think he
282
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presents some information that's
very interesting, especially to
283
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me as a parent about adolescence.
284
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Right.
285
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Uh, and specifically I think
targeting the idea, right?
286
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That we, that we ourselves
in, in a way are creating some
287
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of this anxiety in our kids.
288
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Some of our own
overprotectiveness, some of, uh.
289
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:10,293
I, I think in a sense, in some ways,
we sometimes preach fear to our
290
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children, um, instead of confidence.
291
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Uh, and then of course he talks
specifically about, um, phones and the
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incredible, uh, the quick rise of this
technology and the significant impact
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that it's had on our children, uh, in
this kind of loneliness epidemic, this
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epidemic of anxiety and depression.
295
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And, uh, and I think he creates a, a
pretty compelling argument that that
296
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has had a truly significant impact,
not just in the lives of adults, which
297
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we can certainly feel that right.
298
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Uh, but obviously in
the lives of our kids.
299
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And I say that not really from
a fear, fearful perspective, I'm
300
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actually quite optimistic about it.
301
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And I feel like our children will
actually find a way to, to deal with that.
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They will respond, uh, even though right
now I think that there's absolutely
303
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some negative outcome for them, I think
they're gonna find a way to manage that.
304
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Unfortunately, we've placed that in their
hands and I think they'll probably end
305
00:19:11,673 --> 00:19:13,413
up dealing with it better than we have.
306
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:16,743
Uh, but they are gonna have to walk
a little bit through that valley
307
00:19:16,743 --> 00:19:20,103
of the shadow of death a little
bit and deal with some of the
308
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negatives that we can measure, right?
309
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,613
In terms of anxiety, in terms
of loneliness, in terms of
310
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social disconnection or low
loss of connectivity to others.
311
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Uh, and that matters.
312
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It matters a whole lot because
the best predictor that we have
313
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of short and long-term success,
uh, are positive relationships.
314
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And when you have something in your hands.
315
00:19:45,288 --> 00:19:51,048
That continuously pulls you from
where you are into some other place.
316
00:19:51,588 --> 00:19:54,408
Uh, we can't help but to
feel somewhat disconnected.
317
00:19:54,858 --> 00:19:59,148
Um, and so in fact, I think that there's
a quote in that book that really stuck
318
00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:03,318
out to me where it talked about this
current registration or, or generation or
319
00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:07,128
these teens who are constantly elsewhere.
320
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And just think about that, right?
321
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When we're on our phones,
and this includes me, I'm
322
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not here to pick on teens.
323
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I love teens, but, um, when we're
on our phones, we're just elsewhere.
324
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And think about that, right?
325
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And, and I feel like something that I
constantly tell people is, the quickest
326
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way for you to create misery in your
current life is to wish you were somewhere
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else or in some way to be elsewhere.
328
00:20:31,368 --> 00:20:32,208
And so.
329
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Part of, you know, some of the
content that we have, obviously
330
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for kids, it's really optimistic,
it's really encouraging.
331
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It's, I mean, we're totally
grounded in positive psychology.
332
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I'm not here to preach or to rant
in a negative way, but I absolutely
333
00:20:47,223 --> 00:20:53,913
want to give teens some solutions
to help them to be where their feet
334
00:20:53,943 --> 00:20:56,973
are instead of just disengaging.
335
00:20:56,973 --> 00:21:01,473
And that includes in like sitting down
watching a movie and really just be
336
00:21:01,473 --> 00:21:06,543
there and watch the movie instead of
like, the TV is on and I'm on this
337
00:21:06,603 --> 00:21:10,263
right, kind of doing my own thing
and so is everybody else in the room.
338
00:21:11,073 --> 00:21:13,593
And that's kind of just the
reality of where we are.
339
00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:17,523
And I, I see that around
me and I recognize that
340
00:21:17,523 --> 00:21:19,053
there's some real loss there.
341
00:21:19,053 --> 00:21:22,383
Like there is, there is some real loss.
342
00:21:22,743 --> 00:21:29,163
I wanna be optimistic and I
am, but I'm also saddened that.
343
00:21:29,568 --> 00:21:36,468
These incredibly amazing tools
that we have just literally
344
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just envelop us into this little
cocoon and we enter that world.
345
00:21:43,878 --> 00:21:48,618
And the negative side of that is
that we exit our reality, right?
346
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And kind of in a sense, kind of dripped
into this multiverse a little bit.
347
00:21:53,958 --> 00:21:58,068
Um, so that's kind of what
he's, he's talked about.
348
00:21:58,073 --> 00:22:03,498
And, and I think once again, the evidence
as we look over the past decade of this
349
00:22:03,498 --> 00:22:11,298
new technology, the evidence is very
convincing that phones unfortunately have
350
00:22:11,298 --> 00:22:15,768
had a, a really detrimental impact in the
lives of children and adults in a way.
351
00:22:16,008 --> 00:22:18,978
Of course, there are wonderful
things and we wanna, we wanna build
352
00:22:18,978 --> 00:22:21,768
those, we wanna teach kids how to
utilize all the wonderful things
353
00:22:21,768 --> 00:22:25,428
that phones provide and that, that,
that, that technology is providing.
354
00:22:26,058 --> 00:22:27,978
Uh, but the reality is.
355
00:22:28,758 --> 00:22:34,218
It's also created a, a multitude
of challenges for them, challenges
356
00:22:34,218 --> 00:22:38,778
that I believe they will cross
and become better as a result.
357
00:22:38,778 --> 00:22:43,458
I, I think, I think they can find a way to
consecrate that experience for their good.
358
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:48,228
Um, but, but there's some negative
pieces there that, that are
359
00:22:48,228 --> 00:22:49,458
challenging for them right now.
360
00:22:50,043 --> 00:22:50,703
Russell Newton: Absolutely.
361
00:22:51,258 --> 00:22:51,468
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
362
00:22:51,768 --> 00:22:56,763
Russell Newton: Uh, and uh, I just
wanted to say, as I say in many of
363
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our episodes, what works for a high
schooler that's feeling alienated or,
364
00:23:04,238 --> 00:23:07,498
uh, dissatisfied, depressed, any range.
365
00:23:08,343 --> 00:23:11,133
Of emotions or thought processes there.
366
00:23:11,373 --> 00:23:15,753
The things that work for a teenager
that you're propounding proposing, uh,
367
00:23:15,753 --> 00:23:17,463
expounding, whatever the right phrase is,
368
00:23:17,493 --> 00:23:17,808
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Sure, sure.
369
00:23:17,808 --> 00:23:18,048
Sure.
370
00:23:18,123 --> 00:23:20,373
Russell Newton: for work
for college age students.
371
00:23:20,583 --> 00:23:23,163
They work for young adults,
they work for parents.
372
00:23:23,463 --> 00:23:27,153
Uh, they might be presented
differently, but it's the same concepts.
373
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And
374
00:23:29,403 --> 00:23:36,603
in doing this podcast for, for many
years, uh, it comes back so many times
375
00:23:37,413 --> 00:23:43,383
to the same basic things, but still it
seems that they have to be taught a new
376
00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:49,135
and, and listeners come in, you know,
new fan, new people to the podcast.
377
00:23:49,773 --> 00:23:57,843
But the, the, the concept of just
being present, uh, that they, I I was
378
00:23:57,843 --> 00:24:00,993
formulating a question as you were
talking for, my question was gonna
379
00:24:00,993 --> 00:24:05,163
be, if someone is feeling that way,
what piece of advice would you give?
380
00:24:05,163 --> 00:24:05,678
And then you immediately.
381
00:24:06,588 --> 00:24:09,588
Uh, gave a solution for the problem
you presented, so appreciate that.
382
00:24:09,588 --> 00:24:15,738
If you're, if you're feeling disconnected,
the best solution are real relationships,
383
00:24:16,098 --> 00:24:18,018
uh, and to experience the now.
384
00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:22,923
And also I was reminded very strongly
of, of Eckhart Tolles, the Power of Now.
385
00:24:22,998 --> 00:24:23,118
Are you
386
00:24:23,223 --> 00:24:23,943
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Oh yeah,
387
00:24:24,048 --> 00:24:24,858
Russell Newton: Absolutely.
388
00:24:25,413 --> 00:24:27,153
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah,
that was, it's like a top 10 for me.
389
00:24:27,153 --> 00:24:27,843
That's a good one.
390
00:24:28,428 --> 00:24:28,818
Russell Newton: great.
391
00:24:28,938 --> 00:24:29,238
Great.
392
00:24:29,238 --> 00:24:30,648
Yeah, a fantastic book.
393
00:24:30,738 --> 00:24:35,718
Uh, think it gets anywhere near
the attention that it should, uh,
394
00:24:35,748 --> 00:24:37,248
and a really quite a simple book.
395
00:24:37,488 --> 00:24:41,058
Uh, and it, uh, the title
encapsulates the entire book.
396
00:24:41,058 --> 00:24:43,608
I mean, it takes some explanation
to get the concept across, but,
397
00:24:46,188 --> 00:24:47,388
so let's take a step back.
398
00:24:47,538 --> 00:24:55,338
You, you said your, your practice is based
mostly in, or maybe you should tell me,
399
00:24:55,548 --> 00:25:01,788
you mentioned CBT, uh, and the, so your
techniques and, and your theory of, of
400
00:25:01,788 --> 00:25:05,358
treatment based in CBT or draws from that.
401
00:25:05,358 --> 00:25:05,748
Is that right?
402
00:25:06,648 --> 00:25:07,368
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
It, it is.
403
00:25:07,368 --> 00:25:07,728
Yeah.
404
00:25:07,728 --> 00:25:11,928
I, I, I think as a therapist over the
years, and I do lots of things, but,
405
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:18,078
uh, I mean including experiential
type things, but, but I do have
406
00:25:18,313 --> 00:25:24,948
a, a tendency to kind of practice
this type of psychology, right.
407
00:25:24,948 --> 00:25:30,558
That focuses, I really to say on
the power of our psychology, right?
408
00:25:30,558 --> 00:25:36,648
The understanding that the way that
we interpret the events in our lives
409
00:25:37,218 --> 00:25:39,258
matters more than the events themselves.
410
00:25:39,258 --> 00:25:39,528
Right?
411
00:25:39,528 --> 00:25:41,808
And it's, and it's this idea, right?
412
00:25:41,808 --> 00:25:43,338
It's, it's this idea that,
413
00:25:43,683 --> 00:25:43,983
Russell Newton: Yeah,
414
00:25:44,178 --> 00:25:44,718
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: sure,
415
00:25:44,883 --> 00:25:45,153
Russell Newton: that is,
416
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:45,678
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: it,
417
00:25:45,783 --> 00:25:46,233
Russell Newton: strong.
418
00:25:46,233 --> 00:25:46,623
We can't
419
00:25:46,728 --> 00:25:47,238
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: yeah.
420
00:25:47,538 --> 00:25:49,053
Russell Newton: We do say
it frequently, but yeah.
421
00:25:49,053 --> 00:25:50,853
Repeat that phrase and then continue on.
422
00:25:50,853 --> 00:25:52,273
I apologize for interrupting
your thought there.
423
00:25:53,028 --> 00:25:53,718
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
No, no, no.
424
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:54,348
Not at all.
425
00:25:54,348 --> 00:25:58,818
I can, lemme see if I, so the way that
I would say it is, in fact, I would
426
00:25:58,818 --> 00:26:03,828
say it within the idea of like, that
your psychology is everything, right?
427
00:26:03,978 --> 00:26:06,987
Like your ability to interpret.
428
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:12,843
The events in your life matters more
than the events themselves, right?
429
00:26:12,848 --> 00:26:17,883
And, and we're just these meaning
making machines like that's, or
430
00:26:17,883 --> 00:26:19,683
these spiritual, these souls, right?
431
00:26:19,683 --> 00:26:21,543
That, that, and that's what we do.
432
00:26:22,293 --> 00:26:24,245
Uh, and when we do that
incorrectly, right?
433
00:26:24,303 --> 00:26:27,363
When our lenses, right, when
we're looking at the world from
434
00:26:27,363 --> 00:26:31,683
a real pessimistic perspective,
uh, then life is really difficult.
435
00:26:31,683 --> 00:26:35,103
And actually, I mean, life is difficult
even with the optimistic ones.
436
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:42,123
It's just that an, an optimistic lens
allows you, it, it energizes you, it keeps
437
00:26:42,123 --> 00:26:46,328
you lit, it keeps you going, it keeps you
persistent, it keeps you moving forward.
438
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:51,003
And it, whereas that kind of
pessimistic, pessimistic lens, right?
439
00:26:51,003 --> 00:26:56,733
When we feel like events are permanent,
that problems are pervasive, uh,
440
00:26:56,733 --> 00:27:00,633
when we feel like we're to blame
and that we're powerless, like
441
00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:02,403
when we feel and believe that.
442
00:27:02,838 --> 00:27:05,598
Then there can only be one outcome, right?
443
00:27:05,598 --> 00:27:07,158
And that is a loss of energy.
444
00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:11,058
It's a loss of motivation, and we end
up feeling hopeless and powerless.
445
00:27:11,058 --> 00:27:11,358
Right?
446
00:27:11,778 --> 00:27:15,258
And so even if we were just talking
kind of about the difference, right?
447
00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:17,268
Between kind of pessimism
and optimism, right?
448
00:27:17,268 --> 00:27:20,178
We're really talking
about a cognition, right?
449
00:27:20,178 --> 00:27:21,918
It's, it's a pattern of thinking.
450
00:27:21,948 --> 00:27:25,578
It's a pattern, it's a way, a
mental strategy of looking and
451
00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:27,318
interpreting the events in your life.
452
00:27:27,918 --> 00:27:31,548
And when we view things, let's say
from an optimistic perspective,
453
00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:33,618
uh, I mean, it's just proven right?
454
00:27:33,618 --> 00:27:37,818
We perform better period, we
perform better for longer, we
455
00:27:37,818 --> 00:27:42,138
perform better during challenging
times, and we feel more hopeful.
456
00:27:42,138 --> 00:27:43,848
We, our mood has improved.
457
00:27:43,848 --> 00:27:50,058
Our sense of energy and motivation is
improved simply because we can learn.
458
00:27:50,058 --> 00:27:53,118
And I think that's a really key
piece of just cognitive behavioral
459
00:27:53,118 --> 00:27:56,058
therapy and really positive
psychology or growth mindset.
460
00:27:56,328 --> 00:28:00,978
Psychology is this idea
that we're not these rigid.
461
00:28:02,073 --> 00:28:02,703
Creatures.
462
00:28:02,703 --> 00:28:02,973
Right?
463
00:28:02,973 --> 00:28:07,773
I'm not just like a pessimist
or naturally unhappy, right?
464
00:28:07,799 --> 00:28:14,283
The idea here is that we can learn these
things, we can learn optimism, we can
465
00:28:14,283 --> 00:28:16,053
learn to have a better perspective.
466
00:28:16,053 --> 00:28:21,513
We can modify the lenses through which
we see the world so that we can see a
467
00:28:21,513 --> 00:28:25,353
better, more helpful reality, right?
468
00:28:25,683 --> 00:28:30,963
And so, cognitive therapy, right, is
really born from this concept, right?
469
00:28:30,963 --> 00:28:37,023
That when we can change our cognition,
when we can change our interpretation
470
00:28:37,023 --> 00:28:38,738
of life, then our life changes.
471
00:28:39,393 --> 00:28:41,283
The events in our life changes.
472
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:46,113
Uh, another, you know, fabulous book, uh,
you know, man's Search for Meaning, which
473
00:28:46,113 --> 00:28:49,653
I'm sure you've heard of, or I'm sure
that your readers have listened to, right?
474
00:28:49,658 --> 00:28:50,673
It is all about that, right?
475
00:28:50,673 --> 00:28:54,393
It's about taking something
right that is so immensely
476
00:28:54,393 --> 00:28:57,993
difficult for us suffering, right?
477
00:28:58,143 --> 00:29:00,123
But viewing that suffering.
478
00:29:00,663 --> 00:29:04,443
From a lens that is a little
bit more empowering, right?
479
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:12,093
That allows us to not just be resilient,
but actually allows us to grow, right?
480
00:29:12,093 --> 00:29:15,393
Which is pretty daring actually, right?
481
00:29:15,723 --> 00:29:18,873
I mean, whether you're thinking about,
you know, man's Search for meeting
482
00:29:18,873 --> 00:29:24,153
or some of our incredible veterans
or soldiers or, uh, active, uh, you
483
00:29:24,153 --> 00:29:27,393
know, police officers or people who
are doing some of these crisis things,
484
00:29:27,873 --> 00:29:29,403
those are really challenging, right?
485
00:29:29,763 --> 00:29:34,443
I mean, I can't imagine there being
something that's more terrible for
486
00:29:34,443 --> 00:29:36,573
the human psyche than just combat.
487
00:29:36,573 --> 00:29:40,263
Like, it just has to be
so unbelievably difficult.
488
00:29:41,073 --> 00:29:47,523
And yet the goal, and I say this with
incomplete ignorance, that I have not been
489
00:29:47,523 --> 00:29:51,693
in that place, but with total compassion
and hope for those individuals that I've
490
00:29:51,693 --> 00:29:56,673
had the pleasure and honor of helping and
treating and assisting in my profession.
491
00:29:57,318 --> 00:30:04,308
But my goal for them is never to,
if I dare to be really bold, my, my
492
00:30:04,578 --> 00:30:11,058
ultimate goal, and I might not even say
it out loud to them, it isn't just to
493
00:30:11,058 --> 00:30:14,028
be resilient and get back to normal.
494
00:30:14,778 --> 00:30:18,108
My goal for them is, man, I, I
wanna take everything that's,
495
00:30:18,288 --> 00:30:19,488
that has occurred to you.
496
00:30:19,848 --> 00:30:27,498
And in some way I wanna synthesize that
and somehow make that I, I want to,
497
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:32,208
the word that I'll use right, is to
consecrate or to make it holy for you.
498
00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:36,678
Like I want you to come out
better, wiser, stronger.
499
00:30:36,678 --> 00:30:42,108
Like, I want that experience to somehow
like become this beautiful thing, right?
500
00:30:42,108 --> 00:30:45,168
Like beauty from ashes sort of a concept.
501
00:30:45,888 --> 00:30:47,928
Um, and I say that once again.
502
00:30:47,928 --> 00:30:51,948
I fully acknowledge
totally ignorantly like I.
503
00:30:53,148 --> 00:30:54,678
I don't know their experience.
504
00:30:54,828 --> 00:30:57,468
I certainly don't pretend to
know, and I would never say that
505
00:30:57,468 --> 00:31:01,758
I do, but that's my wish for them
as their friend, to be honest.
506
00:31:01,758 --> 00:31:05,058
Like, I wanna take everything
you've gone through and I
507
00:31:05,058 --> 00:31:07,218
wanna somehow like mix that in.
508
00:31:07,488 --> 00:31:09,378
And in the end, I want it to be awesome.
509
00:31:09,378 --> 00:31:10,578
I want it to be beautiful.
510
00:31:10,578 --> 00:31:14,148
I want it to be a source of strength
instead of a deficit for you.
511
00:31:14,148 --> 00:31:16,218
Like a hundred percent.
512
00:31:16,218 --> 00:31:20,448
And I wanna do that same thing for
myself, uh, in, in that respect.
513
00:31:20,448 --> 00:31:26,298
But anyways, I, I, I think cognitive
therapy, I wanna say that that's kind
514
00:31:26,298 --> 00:31:28,248
of like the golden standard of therapy.
515
00:31:28,248 --> 00:31:31,368
I mean, it's well documented,
it's well-researched, the
516
00:31:31,368 --> 00:31:32,958
evidence backs it up, right?
517
00:31:33,258 --> 00:31:35,898
When we are able to change, right?
518
00:31:35,898 --> 00:31:40,578
Our interpretation of events, our
thinking, the way that we view our
519
00:31:40,578 --> 00:31:44,778
external reality, um, we do better, right?
520
00:31:45,138 --> 00:31:47,808
When we can recognize
some of our distorted.
521
00:31:48,453 --> 00:31:49,563
Thinking, right?
522
00:31:49,953 --> 00:31:53,673
Whether it be our, you know,
our catastrophizing, right?
523
00:31:53,673 --> 00:31:57,483
Or whether it be like the way that we
generalize events, you know, well, this
524
00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,663
happened to me then that means it's gonna
happen to me now and it's gonna happen
525
00:32:00,663 --> 00:32:02,223
forever and ever and ever and ever.
526
00:32:02,223 --> 00:32:03,843
Well, that's how the brain runs.
527
00:32:04,113 --> 00:32:06,693
That's how the brain, the
brain predicts future events.
528
00:32:06,993 --> 00:32:12,723
The problem is, it's not true, but this
is what the brain does all the time.
529
00:32:13,173 --> 00:32:17,973
And so by helping people recognize
some of these fallacies, right, some of
530
00:32:17,973 --> 00:32:23,313
these patterns of thought that generally
originate in the brain, but that
531
00:32:23,313 --> 00:32:25,863
aren't productive, they're not helpful.
532
00:32:26,253 --> 00:32:30,123
They're kind of originating from
a survivalistic organ, right?
533
00:32:30,123 --> 00:32:31,683
That's meant to protect us.
534
00:32:32,343 --> 00:32:35,883
But that, in a sense, kind of
fails to help us to thrive, right?
535
00:32:36,213 --> 00:32:38,193
Or to really grow and progress.
536
00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:42,273
And that's where, you know, I think
positive psychology can come in.
537
00:32:42,273 --> 00:32:43,173
That's where a lot of.
538
00:32:43,578 --> 00:32:47,148
Other philosophies or even the
world's religions can come in, right?
539
00:32:47,148 --> 00:32:54,078
Where we're really looking for a way to
thrive instead of just focusing on the
540
00:32:54,078 --> 00:32:56,148
negative aspects of the human condition.
541
00:32:56,148 --> 00:32:56,508
Right?
542
00:32:56,958 --> 00:33:00,048
Uh, which has also been kind of
a really interesting shift in
543
00:33:00,048 --> 00:33:05,478
psychology, you know, for really for
the entire history of psychology.
544
00:33:05,478 --> 00:33:10,608
And psychology has really been focused
on the human defic deficiencies, right?
545
00:33:10,608 --> 00:33:15,798
I mean, we've written five versions of
the diagnostic statistical manual, right?
546
00:33:16,158 --> 00:33:20,568
That basically list every possible
diagnostic that, that, that we can
547
00:33:20,568 --> 00:33:21,888
have that's wrong with this, right?
548
00:33:21,888 --> 00:33:26,058
All the way from how depressed we are,
OCD, obsessed, I mean everything, all
549
00:33:26,058 --> 00:33:31,638
the personality disorders and positive
psychology has really come in, you know,
550
00:33:31,638 --> 00:33:35,718
over these past few decades and really
said, Hey, we need to make a shift
551
00:33:35,868 --> 00:33:42,228
right away from just listing the human
deficiencies and really talking about.
552
00:33:43,158 --> 00:33:48,318
Not just what we're doing well, but
more importantly, how do we go about
553
00:33:48,828 --> 00:33:55,398
living a really good or wonderful
or meaningful or purposeful life
554
00:33:55,977 --> 00:33:58,308
and figuring out how to do that.
555
00:33:59,148 --> 00:34:04,638
And so it's really moving away from
this medical model of therapy, right?
556
00:34:04,638 --> 00:34:07,428
Which is, you know, you break your
arm, you go to the doctor, right?
557
00:34:07,428 --> 00:34:11,898
We're kind of almost passively
waiting for crisis to occur to what
558
00:34:11,898 --> 00:34:18,888
I feel is a much more preventative,
proactive, focused on how we can really
559
00:34:18,888 --> 00:34:23,717
live wonderful lives that we feel
good about, that we feel proud of.
560
00:34:24,378 --> 00:34:27,495
Even when there is sadness,
even when there is grief,
561
00:34:27,678 --> 00:34:29,808
even when there is anxiety.
562
00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:32,928
So I, I'm quite the fan.
563
00:34:32,928 --> 00:34:35,688
I think that that movement
has been wonderful.
564
00:34:36,197 --> 00:34:40,158
Uh, and interestingly enough, it's,
it's reflective of some, of, some of
565
00:34:40,158 --> 00:34:42,318
the Eastern philosophical teachings.
566
00:34:42,318 --> 00:34:45,978
It's really, you know, it really
connects well with even some of
567
00:34:45,978 --> 00:34:49,338
the religious, you know, whether
they be Christianity or Judaism.
568
00:34:49,338 --> 00:34:51,978
And so it's, it's really important.
569
00:34:52,063 --> 00:34:55,458
I, I feel like psychology
has made a real positive turn
570
00:34:55,458 --> 00:34:56,777
at, at least in that respect.
571
00:34:58,938 --> 00:35:01,848
Yeah, that's probably more than
you wanted to know, but geez.
572
00:35:02,313 --> 00:35:04,833
Russell Newton: no, I, I
appreciate all those insights.
573
00:35:05,673 --> 00:35:08,733
When I, when I first heard the
term positive psychology, not
574
00:35:08,733 --> 00:35:09,723
that many years ago, really.
575
00:35:11,493 --> 00:35:14,583
I think I interchanged it in
my head with pop psychology
576
00:35:14,883 --> 00:35:15,108
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
577
00:35:15,108 --> 00:35:15,288
Yeah.
578
00:35:15,293 --> 00:35:15,648
Yeah.
579
00:35:15,963 --> 00:35:18,063
Russell Newton: kind of dismissed
it and I'm, I'm wondering if our
580
00:35:18,063 --> 00:35:19,713
listeners might feel the same way.
581
00:35:20,073 --> 00:35:28,593
Um, yeah, positive psychology is very,
is is interesting because it, I used
582
00:35:28,593 --> 00:35:31,353
the terms in a episode a few weeks ago.
583
00:35:31,353 --> 00:35:34,173
It's eclectic and pragmatic.
584
00:35:34,473 --> 00:35:42,033
Um, whatever works from whatever source,
uh, to some extent, uh, what works
585
00:35:42,033 --> 00:35:47,643
well for the client it came from, is
probably a good thing for that client.
586
00:35:47,643 --> 00:35:53,613
And I, I appreciate you adding in, uh,
a quick blurb there about medicine even,
587
00:35:53,728 --> 00:35:54,018
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: sure.
588
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:57,393
Russell Newton: uh, uh, modern
religions, whatever they might be.
589
00:35:57,393 --> 00:36:01,593
Because there are different things
that work for different people.
590
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:04,923
And if you're tool, you know,
to the, to the man with a
591
00:36:04,923 --> 00:36:06,783
hammer, every problem is a nail.
592
00:36:07,233 --> 00:36:07,623
Uh,
593
00:36:07,923 --> 00:36:08,403
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
For sure.
594
00:36:08,403 --> 00:36:10,233
Russell Newton: you have
enough things in your toolkit.
595
00:36:10,938 --> 00:36:14,688
You can find something that works
for the person that's struggling, you
596
00:36:14,688 --> 00:36:16,128
can find the right thing for them.
597
00:36:16,128 --> 00:36:22,338
And I think positive psychology, uh,
maybe comes closest to that of, of
598
00:36:22,338 --> 00:36:26,118
most anything we've seen in, in our
lifetime of finding the thing that
599
00:36:26,118 --> 00:36:28,608
works best for the particular situation.
600
00:36:28,608 --> 00:36:29,388
And going from there.
601
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:31,728
I also appreciate what
you said about thriving.
602
00:36:32,448 --> 00:36:37,548
Uh, you know, we shouldn't be
satisfied with being, okay, there's
603
00:36:37,548 --> 00:36:39,348
a commercial out now that's fine.
604
00:36:39,348 --> 00:36:40,128
Is not okay.
605
00:36:40,128 --> 00:36:43,608
Or something O okay is not good
enough, or I forget exactly.
606
00:36:43,608 --> 00:36:44,688
I don't even know what it's for.
607
00:36:44,958 --> 00:36:47,178
I've seen it once or twice,
but it basically, you know,
608
00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:51,978
average, um, making it from day
to day isn't what life is about.
609
00:36:52,758 --> 00:36:55,998
we should, we should look for,
uh, something better than that.
610
00:36:55,998 --> 00:37:00,048
Taking all those things that make us
the person who we are and funneling
611
00:37:00,048 --> 00:37:03,678
them thrive and excel in, in.
612
00:37:04,518 --> 00:37:07,848
The appropriate areas that may be
business, that may be most likely it's
613
00:37:07,848 --> 00:37:12,378
in personal relationships and, uh,
the way we see the world and deal with
614
00:37:12,378 --> 00:37:15,528
others, but could be in other, could
be in academics, could be in sports,
615
00:37:15,528 --> 00:37:16,758
could be in a number of things as well.
616
00:37:16,758 --> 00:37:20,568
But it still comes back to
that fundamental piece of
617
00:37:20,568 --> 00:37:22,068
relationships and presence,
618
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:22,998
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Sure.
619
00:37:23,058 --> 00:37:27,288
And, and I, yeah, and, and I think I'll
interject there for just a quick moment.
620
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:31,068
I, I, I think what they're attempting
to do, right, specifically with,
621
00:37:31,548 --> 00:37:35,178
uh, you know, positive psychology
and that kind of movement, it's.
622
00:37:35,598 --> 00:37:39,228
I mean, there's, it's, it's kind of
the, what people call kind of the
623
00:37:39,228 --> 00:37:41,448
fourth wave of psychology, right?
624
00:37:41,501 --> 00:37:45,288
The first kind of being psychodynamic
and Freud and you know, then
625
00:37:45,288 --> 00:37:49,608
behaviorism and then kind of
humanism, which is really more similar
626
00:37:49,608 --> 00:37:51,288
to what positive psychology is.
627
00:37:51,288 --> 00:37:55,998
And then, you know, positive psychology
really being that fourth wave, that fourth
628
00:37:55,998 --> 00:37:59,088
movement, uh, with really that emphasis.
629
00:37:59,298 --> 00:38:02,118
And, and I think what they're
attempting to do, and I feel like
630
00:38:02,118 --> 00:38:03,438
they're doing quite a good job.
631
00:38:03,438 --> 00:38:08,358
And I appreciate you differentiating
between, you know, kind of, you know,
632
00:38:08,358 --> 00:38:11,238
what, what people would consider
kind of positive psychology, right?
633
00:38:11,238 --> 00:38:16,707
And that movement, that's evidence-based,
it's, it's built on practice, uh,
634
00:38:16,908 --> 00:38:19,188
versus kind of pop psychology, right?
635
00:38:19,188 --> 00:38:24,318
Which, which sometimes are these kind
of terms, right, that arise, right?
636
00:38:24,318 --> 00:38:28,098
Whether it be from kind of a
popular speaker or something on
637
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:30,648
social media or whatever, right?
638
00:38:30,648 --> 00:38:33,228
And sometimes they're, they're useful.
639
00:38:33,933 --> 00:38:37,053
They can even be kind of
connected to maybe a deeper truth.
640
00:38:37,503 --> 00:38:41,853
Uh, but I find that a lot of
times they are not, um, and,
641
00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:47,943
and can actually create a mental
expectation that becomes an obstacle.
642
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:52,683
Um, you know, and, and so I
mean, I'll give you kind of a,
643
00:38:52,743 --> 00:38:54,393
and this is a simple example.
644
00:38:54,513 --> 00:38:59,223
Uh, and, and I know that as soon as I
say it, I'm gonna, I'm gonna create some
645
00:38:59,223 --> 00:39:00,813
problems for myself, but that's okay.
646
00:39:00,813 --> 00:39:03,123
I'll back it up and I'll,
I'll, I'll do the best I can.
647
00:39:03,483 --> 00:39:06,573
But it's kind of like, think of it
like the self-care movement, right?
648
00:39:07,203 --> 00:39:09,993
You know, there's, there's a lot
of talk about, you know, self-care
649
00:39:09,993 --> 00:39:11,343
and you gotta care for the self.
650
00:39:11,343 --> 00:39:13,893
And, and of course that
that's true, right?
651
00:39:14,017 --> 00:39:17,283
Russell, like, I'm not here to say like,
you know, you should treat yourself like
652
00:39:17,283 --> 00:39:21,513
trash and don't do anything for yourself,
because that's just ridiculous, right?
653
00:39:21,993 --> 00:39:25,143
Uh, and obviously we, we
have to care for ourselves.
654
00:39:25,143 --> 00:39:27,333
We have to care about our lives.
655
00:39:28,053 --> 00:39:33,483
Um, but the reality is that other care.
656
00:39:34,818 --> 00:39:38,748
Is actually a much
better mood boost, right?
657
00:39:39,108 --> 00:39:45,228
So if you're interested in raising
the way that you feel like improving
658
00:39:45,228 --> 00:39:50,898
your wellness, your meaning, your
mattering in life, the quickest
659
00:39:50,898 --> 00:39:53,148
path to that isn't self-care.
660
00:39:53,418 --> 00:39:54,443
It's other care.
661
00:39:55,128 --> 00:39:58,638
So the more the, yeah, the, the,
the less time we spend obsessed
662
00:39:58,638 --> 00:40:03,768
about our own happiness, and
the more time we spend, right?
663
00:40:03,918 --> 00:40:08,388
Caring for others, doing things
and being engaged in things that
664
00:40:08,388 --> 00:40:12,138
matter, whether to your life or in
things that are larger than you.
665
00:40:12,138 --> 00:40:15,858
The evidence says like
that's the quickest path.
666
00:40:16,938 --> 00:40:17,568
Happiness.
667
00:40:17,568 --> 00:40:23,598
Like now, the quickest path now is that,
and so yes, you can have your bubble
668
00:40:23,598 --> 00:40:26,928
bath and you can get your massage and
you can do these wonderful things,
669
00:40:26,928 --> 00:40:28,788
of course, like do those things.
670
00:40:29,538 --> 00:40:34,068
But just realize, right, that what
the adv, what the evidence is actually
671
00:40:34,068 --> 00:40:39,858
saying is in the short and long term,
that other care is actually a better
672
00:40:39,858 --> 00:40:43,488
form of treatment instead of self-care.
673
00:40:43,488 --> 00:40:43,818
Right?
674
00:40:44,328 --> 00:40:46,878
And I know that this sounds
a little competitive, right?
675
00:40:46,878 --> 00:40:49,878
I'm kind of like, well, you know, this is
better than the other and this is better.
676
00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:53,298
And we do have a way, we have a
tendency, right, to view things
677
00:40:53,628 --> 00:40:57,288
within this like, well, one is
better, or which one is the firth?
678
00:40:57,288 --> 00:41:00,438
Or which, and actually it
doesn't need to be like that.
679
00:41:00,438 --> 00:41:05,208
We, we have this, I don't know why we
we're always trying to, to place things
680
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:09,648
kind of in this hierarchical way, and
I don't think it needs to be that way.
681
00:41:09,708 --> 00:41:12,438
Like I, I think caring for our lives.
682
00:41:13,203 --> 00:41:18,603
Of massive importance and of equal
importance is making sure that
683
00:41:18,603 --> 00:41:25,653
our focus is engaged in caring,
in altruistic type pursuits.
684
00:41:25,653 --> 00:41:28,803
Because that's just
what the evidence shows.
685
00:41:28,803 --> 00:41:31,503
And so, and I mean, there's
a million of these, right?
686
00:41:31,503 --> 00:41:35,283
Where we're just, you know, like the, the
whole idea of like, you know, live your
687
00:41:35,283 --> 00:41:40,143
truth or that term doesn't even make sense
to me because the moment you put yours
688
00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:42,183
before truth, like it's no longer truth.
689
00:41:42,183 --> 00:41:46,683
Like it's, I mean, you could say, you
could say like, you know, live your
690
00:41:46,842 --> 00:41:49,713
opinion or your beliefs, sure do that.
691
00:41:49,713 --> 00:41:55,443
But, but, but don't mistake yours
and truth, even though I suppose
692
00:41:55,443 --> 00:41:56,913
at some point it could be right.
693
00:41:56,913 --> 00:42:00,333
We're now we're talking about kind of
philosophical objective or absolute
694
00:42:00,333 --> 00:42:04,263
truth, but I, I just think we get
ourselves in the trouble and it's
695
00:42:04,263 --> 00:42:06,343
quite arrogant, I think, to think that.
696
00:42:08,418 --> 00:42:10,668
To kind of label that erroneously.
697
00:42:10,668 --> 00:42:13,338
And so little things like that.
698
00:42:13,443 --> 00:42:18,828
And, and these are more like soapbox type
things for me, but I am, I have to say,
699
00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:24,378
right, I mean, as a therapist of 20 years,
like wordsmithing is kind of what I do.
700
00:42:25,348 --> 00:42:25,698
Russell Newton: Right.
701
00:42:26,058 --> 00:42:27,558
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
we speak matter.
702
00:42:27,918 --> 00:42:29,418
They matter because
703
00:42:31,428 --> 00:42:33,948
they provide structure to our reality.
704
00:42:33,948 --> 00:42:37,128
Like it's how we say it, how we
say it, how we think it, how we
705
00:42:37,128 --> 00:42:39,768
frame it becomes the reality.
706
00:42:39,768 --> 00:42:48,558
And so communicating in ways that
I feel are helpful, encouraging.
707
00:42:50,158 --> 00:42:53,913
And are actually built kind of
on a foundation of truth matters.
708
00:42:53,913 --> 00:42:56,403
And I think when we don't,
I, I think we actually harm
709
00:42:56,403 --> 00:42:57,993
ourselves and others a little bit.
710
00:42:57,993 --> 00:43:03,483
And I, I don't wanna be disparaging 'cause
that's not useful either, but things
711
00:43:03,483 --> 00:43:06,093
like that bother me a little bit because
712
00:43:08,188 --> 00:43:14,313
I, I think they create
expectations that don't help us.
713
00:43:14,763 --> 00:43:17,523
Like I, I'll give you another
example, Russ, and I'm probably
714
00:43:17,523 --> 00:43:18,873
boring you to pieces here, but,
715
00:43:19,253 --> 00:43:19,473
Russell Newton: No.
716
00:43:19,478 --> 00:43:19,518
No.
717
00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:22,023
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: and
this is not a, an uncommon thing, right?
718
00:43:22,023 --> 00:43:25,923
I mean, I, I've, I've got this, just
these five unbelievable kids, right?
719
00:43:25,923 --> 00:43:32,193
And, and, um, you know, and, and here,
for example, in my house, like we,
720
00:43:32,223 --> 00:43:33,933
we don't, we don't say the F word.
721
00:43:33,933 --> 00:43:36,573
And, and the f word doesn't
mean like the f bomb.
722
00:43:36,573 --> 00:43:38,823
It, it's like, it's the word fair.
723
00:43:40,173 --> 00:43:43,113
I feel like fairness is an
incorrect construct, right?
724
00:43:43,113 --> 00:43:44,167
It's just not a good construct.
725
00:43:44,463 --> 00:43:44,673
Right?
726
00:43:45,093 --> 00:43:49,023
And I'll add to that f word, to the
word, the D word, which is deserve.
727
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:53,133
I don't do deserve, I don't do
deserve, and I don't do fairness,
728
00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:58,563
because those two constructs create
an incorrect expectation in our minds
729
00:43:58,593 --> 00:44:00,543
that ultimately leads to bitterness.
730
00:44:00,693 --> 00:44:02,223
It leads to us being upset.
731
00:44:02,493 --> 00:44:05,373
It leads to weird comparisons
that aren't helpful.
732
00:44:06,003 --> 00:44:09,993
And so I tell my kids all the
time, like I, I honestly just
733
00:44:09,993 --> 00:44:11,463
don't even use that word.
734
00:44:11,516 --> 00:44:13,803
I, I just, I try to find a different one.
735
00:44:13,803 --> 00:44:17,733
Whether it's, I try to be
just, I try to be equitable.
736
00:44:17,733 --> 00:44:19,023
I try to be.
737
00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:20,718
Wise.
738
00:44:21,018 --> 00:44:23,178
Uh, but I don't, I don't do fair.
739
00:44:23,178 --> 00:44:25,788
I'm not here to make things
look the same between you.
740
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:29,838
My kids, like, if I want to treat this
one this way and give them this and
741
00:44:29,838 --> 00:44:33,198
this one this way, because I think
that's the best thing that I can do,
742
00:44:33,408 --> 00:44:34,968
then that's exactly what I'll do.
743
00:44:34,968 --> 00:44:37,998
And I, I don't work within
that fairness construct.
744
00:44:37,998 --> 00:44:38,298
Right.
745
00:44:38,868 --> 00:44:43,008
And the deserving one, it's,
it's basically a ploy to
746
00:44:43,008 --> 00:44:44,148
get you to buy something.
747
00:44:44,148 --> 00:44:46,218
It's like, you know, you deserve this.
748
00:44:46,218 --> 00:44:46,398
Yeah.
749
00:44:46,398 --> 00:44:47,748
I don't, I don't do that.
750
00:44:47,988 --> 00:44:49,038
Doesn't make sense to me.
751
00:44:49,038 --> 00:44:55,638
It once again creates a, I think
an an odd expectation of me being
752
00:44:55,638 --> 00:44:58,068
entitled or deserving of something.
753
00:44:58,398 --> 00:45:01,728
If I want something, then I better
get out there and work for it
754
00:45:01,728 --> 00:45:03,018
and do the best I can to get it.
755
00:45:03,018 --> 00:45:05,448
But I don't, I don't do deserves, yeah.
756
00:45:05,448 --> 00:45:06,318
I don't do deserves
757
00:45:06,618 --> 00:45:07,473
Russell Newton: Yeah, that's, uh,
758
00:45:07,493 --> 00:45:07,713
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: so.
759
00:45:08,523 --> 00:45:11,133
Russell Newton: great
parenting device advice.
760
00:45:11,163 --> 00:45:13,143
Great boss advice.
761
00:45:13,503 --> 00:45:16,743
Uh, great coach, great teacher advice.
762
00:45:16,743 --> 00:45:21,783
Anybody that has, people that
they're working with, uh, in a, in
763
00:45:21,783 --> 00:45:23,433
a, some kind of leadership position.
764
00:45:23,613 --> 00:45:24,603
Yeah, whatever it might be.
765
00:45:24,783 --> 00:45:26,073
So many things in there.
766
00:45:26,283 --> 00:45:28,443
Uh, I wanna go back and pick
up just a few questions.
767
00:45:28,458 --> 00:45:28,923
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
I love it.
768
00:45:29,223 --> 00:45:29,673
Russell Newton: of my own.
769
00:45:30,003 --> 00:45:30,603
I love.
770
00:45:31,593 --> 00:45:36,243
Live your truth in scratching
out the, your, uh, just don't we
771
00:45:36,243 --> 00:45:38,103
simplify that and just live truth,
772
00:45:39,183 --> 00:45:39,933
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
I like that.
773
00:45:40,623 --> 00:45:44,463
Russell Newton: uh, because your
truth, you know, and I, you couch that.
774
00:45:44,463 --> 00:45:47,193
And of course there's some,
some understanding there that
775
00:45:47,788 --> 00:45:48,078
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
776
00:45:48,093 --> 00:45:52,353
Russell Newton: can't live another
person's life, but if I live real
777
00:45:52,353 --> 00:45:55,413
truth, my truth will be truth.
778
00:45:55,593 --> 00:45:56,763
That, that's very strong.
779
00:45:56,763 --> 00:46:00,783
I, I just like that phrase, scratch
out, leave out your live truth.
780
00:46:01,203 --> 00:46:05,913
Um, and part of what you said, a good
part of that reminded me, you talked
781
00:46:05,913 --> 00:46:11,103
about other care, uh, reminded me of
Stephen Covey's, uh, I believe I'm
782
00:46:11,163 --> 00:46:13,143
attributing the, the phrase correctly.
783
00:46:13,143 --> 00:46:16,863
You know, don't try to be
understood, try to understand.
784
00:46:17,463 --> 00:46:17,733
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah,
785
00:46:18,063 --> 00:46:21,063
Russell Newton: and that's, that's the
same concept as other care, I believe.
786
00:46:21,063 --> 00:46:23,133
I think you're taking a little
bit further with more than.
787
00:46:24,363 --> 00:46:28,158
Um, the one is more like in, in a
conversational basis, but you are
788
00:46:28,158 --> 00:46:33,648
talking about in a real hands-on
relational way to seek to help others
789
00:46:33,678 --> 00:46:39,588
in some way, and that is the quickest
way to happiness and self-satisfaction.
790
00:46:39,588 --> 00:46:40,668
That's, that's quite strong.
791
00:46:40,668 --> 00:46:41,178
I appreciate that.
792
00:46:42,123 --> 00:46:42,633
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
you bet.
793
00:46:42,783 --> 00:46:42,993
Yeah.
794
00:46:42,993 --> 00:46:45,963
That's a great, uh, I, I love that book.
795
00:46:46,443 --> 00:46:48,843
I think that was one of
his seven habits, right?
796
00:46:48,843 --> 00:46:51,723
Was seek first to understand
then to be understood.
797
00:46:52,683 --> 00:46:55,143
Um, interestingly enough, right?
798
00:46:55,143 --> 00:46:55,683
That was.
799
00:46:56,538 --> 00:46:59,988
I think that that book was significant
enough because it created that
800
00:46:59,988 --> 00:47:01,578
little bit of a shift, right?
801
00:47:01,578 --> 00:47:05,778
From kind of this, the
psychology of, of illness, right?
802
00:47:06,438 --> 00:47:08,628
To a psychology of success, right?
803
00:47:08,958 --> 00:47:11,178
Seven habits of highly effective people.
804
00:47:11,178 --> 00:47:17,688
Like that was kind of that paradigm
shift to let's look at what brings joy
805
00:47:17,808 --> 00:47:22,578
instead of just, you know, how do we,
'cause in a way, it's, it's one thing
806
00:47:22,578 --> 00:47:29,088
to help someone feel less sad or less
anxious, and it's a whole other to
807
00:47:29,088 --> 00:47:35,088
help somebody feel joy or to live a,
a li or, or like to feel confident.
808
00:47:35,088 --> 00:47:36,333
Those are two different things.
809
00:47:36,633 --> 00:47:38,943
Russell Newton: that's such a huge
difference and we don't always see that.
810
00:47:38,943 --> 00:47:39,243
Yeah.
811
00:47:39,663 --> 00:47:47,073
Um, yeah, again, to the, the thriving
to, to thrive in life, you know, just
812
00:47:47,133 --> 00:47:49,263
feeling better is not good enough.
813
00:47:50,793 --> 00:47:54,873
uh, we should move beyond that and
not be satisfied with the average.
814
00:47:54,903 --> 00:47:55,743
That's fantastic.
815
00:47:55,953 --> 00:47:59,253
I did want to go back one, uh,
man's search for meaning the
816
00:47:59,253 --> 00:48:00,483
Viktor Frankl, is that correct?
817
00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:02,223
Yeah.
818
00:48:02,223 --> 00:48:06,093
I just wanted to make sure I had
that in my head and I wanted to, uh.
819
00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:09,033
I sure that's the book that
we were referencing there.
820
00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:14,103
It's interesting I didn't plan the
segue, but, uh, your comment reminded
821
00:48:14,103 --> 00:48:17,793
me of Stephen Covey, and we're getting
close to, uh, the timeframe here.
822
00:48:18,543 --> 00:48:21,903
I usually end the podcast with two
questions, and one of them relates
823
00:48:21,903 --> 00:48:23,673
to Covey's book, the Seven Habits.
824
00:48:24,423 --> 00:48:26,703
Uh, do you find in your life
825
00:48:28,923 --> 00:48:34,413
that you have certain habits that, uh,
and, and could be what, what frequently
826
00:48:34,413 --> 00:48:38,553
comes up is a habit of gratitude,
gratitude journaling, or a morning
827
00:48:38,553 --> 00:48:45,333
stack, um, know, certain things that
people do, uh, a uh, set aside time
828
00:48:45,333 --> 00:48:49,503
for reading and learning, you know, a,
a cold plunge, whatever it might be.
829
00:48:49,503 --> 00:48:51,363
On a physical side, it
might be a spiritual.
830
00:48:51,723 --> 00:48:55,923
Uh, do you have things in your life
that you'd be willing to share that
831
00:48:55,923 --> 00:49:01,083
you would recommend as far as a habit
stack or in light of Stephen Covey's
832
00:49:01,113 --> 00:49:03,183
book, that Habits of Successful People?
833
00:49:03,573 --> 00:49:04,233
Uh.
834
00:49:04,908 --> 00:49:08,508
Maybe pulling from the, the whole concept
of positive psychology, which enc, which
835
00:49:08,508 --> 00:49:13,308
encapsulates a lot of things there that
you could recommend, uh, for listeners
836
00:49:13,308 --> 00:49:18,918
to, consider incorporating their life
to help improve their, their mindset,
837
00:49:18,948 --> 00:49:21,408
their self concept, and, and so forth.
838
00:49:22,938 --> 00:49:24,948
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah,
I'll, I'll, I'll share a couple that
839
00:49:24,948 --> 00:49:27,618
have been, uh, I think a part of my life.
840
00:49:27,768 --> 00:49:33,798
Um, and I would say, uh, I
mean I, I, I'm a family man.
841
00:49:33,798 --> 00:49:38,478
I, I've got, I mean, my spouse
and, and my five children and that,
842
00:49:39,708 --> 00:49:41,628
so I would say caring for them.
843
00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:45,228
I, I have to just say like, I
mean, that, that is, there is a
844
00:49:45,228 --> 00:49:46,908
hierarchy there for me, right.
845
00:49:47,143 --> 00:49:51,258
And, and that lands squarely
as, as number one, right?
846
00:49:51,303 --> 00:49:58,608
And, and when I feel like I am doing
well there, I, I think that frees my
847
00:49:58,608 --> 00:50:01,278
mind to do well in these other areas.
848
00:50:01,278 --> 00:50:01,488
Right?
849
00:50:01,488 --> 00:50:03,138
And so this, this kind of.
850
00:50:04,068 --> 00:50:09,978
Private success, uh, precedes some
of my other success, I think is
851
00:50:09,978 --> 00:50:12,408
act, interestingly enough, we're,
we're quoting Stephen Covey, I
852
00:50:12,408 --> 00:50:16,158
think that's what he said, private
successes, proceed public successes.
853
00:50:16,158 --> 00:50:18,498
And so that's a really important one.
854
00:50:18,498 --> 00:50:23,893
It reminds me of another quote, you
know, like, you know, no, what was it?
855
00:50:23,893 --> 00:50:28,068
Like no other success can compensate
for failure in the home kind of concept.
856
00:50:28,068 --> 00:50:35,988
And so that, that's a really key piece
for me is I just, man, when that part
857
00:50:35,988 --> 00:50:46,098
of my life is, is not well, uh, it's,
it's my mood, my focus is impacted.
858
00:50:46,098 --> 00:50:52,608
And so what I would say is do what
you can to invest deeply there.
859
00:50:52,968 --> 00:50:56,118
Simply be even from just
a, a hedonistic way.
860
00:50:56,118 --> 00:51:00,708
Like, just because when it
isn't, the impact is so.
861
00:51:01,683 --> 00:51:04,263
It's, it's, it's powerful.
862
00:51:04,743 --> 00:51:07,713
Um, but, but I would say more of a habit.
863
00:51:07,953 --> 00:51:10,653
Uh, and I, and, and I'm not
obviously perfect at this
864
00:51:10,653 --> 00:51:14,013
all the time, and sometimes
significantly better than others.
865
00:51:14,433 --> 00:51:16,503
Uh, and I'll take this
one from Tony Robbins.
866
00:51:16,503 --> 00:51:18,753
I don't, I'm sure you all,
everybody knows who Tony is.
867
00:51:18,766 --> 00:51:20,313
He's just like a fabulous speaker.
868
00:51:20,313 --> 00:51:24,153
And, but he talked about, I
mean, years and years ago.
869
00:51:24,158 --> 00:51:28,233
I, I remember listening to one of
his little CD collections and, and he
870
00:51:28,233 --> 00:51:33,243
talked about this hour of power, which
is kind of a habit stack or, or kind
871
00:51:33,243 --> 00:51:40,353
of a, a, uh, a miracle morning type
idea of just when I begin my days.
872
00:51:41,613 --> 00:51:47,013
Um, and this is just my own personal,
right when I begin my days with a
873
00:51:47,013 --> 00:51:52,653
run, uh, either alone, preferably
with friends, like it's even
874
00:51:52,653 --> 00:51:53,973
better when I do it with friends.
875
00:51:53,973 --> 00:51:56,493
But even when I do it
alone and I try to stack.
876
00:51:57,618 --> 00:52:03,408
Some learning during that run, whether I'm
listening to a podcast or a book, uh, or
877
00:52:03,408 --> 00:52:05,538
even something that's kind of spiritual.
878
00:52:06,138 --> 00:52:10,548
Uh, and by the time I put,
879
00:52:12,738 --> 00:52:17,088
before I even eat a piece of toast
or, or have a yogurt in the morning,
880
00:52:17,088 --> 00:52:19,608
like I feel like my day is a success.
881
00:52:20,448 --> 00:52:27,138
Uh, and, and that impacts my
mood so much in the mornings
882
00:52:27,138 --> 00:52:29,298
that I almost become annoying.
883
00:52:29,473 --> 00:52:34,728
And, and I, and I say this jokingly
because my, my wife will say that to
884
00:52:34,728 --> 00:52:37,788
me and she's such an awesome person,
but she's just like, oh my gosh, you're
885
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,348
like, you're so annoying right now.
886
00:52:39,798 --> 00:52:42,018
And it's in part because I'm just like.
887
00:52:42,863 --> 00:52:43,323
Joyous.
888
00:52:43,323 --> 00:52:51,183
Like I just feel good like in the morning
when I create this little miracle morning.
889
00:52:51,873 --> 00:52:55,383
And it's a combination of you
doing something physical, right?
890
00:52:55,683 --> 00:52:59,643
Something educational, something
spiritual, whatever that is, whatever,
891
00:52:59,823 --> 00:53:01,443
whatever your practice looks like.
892
00:53:01,443 --> 00:53:05,343
Whether that's beginning your day
with a walk, with a swim, with
893
00:53:05,343 --> 00:53:09,213
meditation, with yoga, with a walk
with your partner or your spouse
894
00:53:09,213 --> 00:53:11,553
or with your dog, whatever that is.
895
00:53:12,213 --> 00:53:15,873
But I'm telling you like just
crank that engine and get it
896
00:53:15,873 --> 00:53:18,723
going and reap the benefits.
897
00:53:18,723 --> 00:53:21,543
So I would definitely say do what you can.
898
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:23,043
Do what you can.
899
00:53:23,133 --> 00:53:24,843
And I'm not here to
create pressure for you.
900
00:53:24,843 --> 00:53:28,473
Like, and by the way, I am not here to
create happiness for you to be happy.
901
00:53:28,473 --> 00:53:29,253
Like you gotta be happy.
902
00:53:29,673 --> 00:53:35,133
But I would just say if you can find
a way to add a miracle morning to your
903
00:53:35,133 --> 00:53:38,643
life, um, a little routine, whether it's.
904
00:53:39,138 --> 00:53:44,598
15 minutes, 30 minutes, uh, I
think you'll see real impact, like
905
00:53:44,598 --> 00:53:49,308
real impact, like in your life,
in, in your success, in your mood,
906
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:51,948
potentially even in your relationships.
907
00:53:52,428 --> 00:53:54,048
Uh, so I would definitely say that.
908
00:53:54,048 --> 00:53:57,678
And then the other suggestion that I would
give, and I think positive psychology
909
00:53:57,678 --> 00:53:59,718
is, is I think doing a wonderful job.
910
00:54:00,228 --> 00:54:04,908
I think talking specifically about
the way that we connect to people
911
00:54:05,058 --> 00:54:07,188
finding purpose and meaning in lives.
912
00:54:07,818 --> 00:54:10,548
And I would just say
just as your friend, like
913
00:54:13,038 --> 00:54:18,558
find a way to connect to things
that are just larger than you.
914
00:54:18,618 --> 00:54:21,858
And the evidence is so
overwhelmingly good there.
915
00:54:21,858 --> 00:54:25,338
And I, and that could be a
variety of things, right?
916
00:54:25,398 --> 00:54:33,528
All the way to a sports community, a
community in your area, a group in your
917
00:54:33,528 --> 00:54:35,713
area, a sports team, wherever you are.
918
00:54:36,948 --> 00:54:40,278
Obviously like communities
of religion, right?
919
00:54:40,338 --> 00:54:42,498
Or, or other philosophies.
920
00:54:42,498 --> 00:54:45,978
Like the evidence is just so good, right?
921
00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:50,568
When you find those things that
are larger than you and you connect
922
00:54:50,568 --> 00:54:54,288
to those, and perhaps even more
importantly, when you connect to those
923
00:54:54,408 --> 00:54:56,538
people in those communities, right?
924
00:54:57,318 --> 00:55:03,588
I would just suggest to you find
something like that and join it and be
925
00:55:03,588 --> 00:55:10,548
a part of it, um, because the evidence
is really, really good at not only
926
00:55:10,548 --> 00:55:15,198
that, increasing your overall sense of
joy, meaning purpose, and happiness.
927
00:55:15,858 --> 00:55:22,428
Uh, but it's also really important
for you to just be within those little
928
00:55:22,428 --> 00:55:29,238
communities and creating these little
networks that there's a, a great little,
929
00:55:29,298 --> 00:55:35,628
um, quote and I'll massacre it, but
it's something to the effect of like.
930
00:55:36,243 --> 00:55:42,393
Um, people multiply your,
well, let's see, relationships.
931
00:55:42,393 --> 00:55:46,293
Multiply your joys and divide
your sorrows, something like that.
932
00:55:46,293 --> 00:55:47,403
Positive relationships.
933
00:55:47,403 --> 00:55:50,973
Multiply your joys and divide your
sorrows, and that's what you're doing.
934
00:55:51,513 --> 00:55:54,873
Um, and there might be some of
you that are like, well, you're
935
00:55:54,873 --> 00:55:56,403
a, well, what if I hate people?
936
00:55:56,403 --> 00:55:58,053
Or what if I'm not very good socially?
937
00:55:58,053 --> 00:56:00,933
Or what if I'm this And, and, uh.
938
00:56:02,478 --> 00:56:05,628
I would just respond with nothing
but just love and compassion.
939
00:56:05,718 --> 00:56:09,198
But I would also gently challenge you
a little bit, and I would challenge you
940
00:56:09,198 --> 00:56:14,808
right away with this in a cognitive way
by saying, um, you're, you're describing
941
00:56:14,808 --> 00:56:20,508
yourself as this rigid individual that
doesn't change or as enabled to change.
942
00:56:21,048 --> 00:56:24,588
And the reality is that we're
the most sophisticated pieces
943
00:56:24,588 --> 00:56:26,118
of machinery in the universe.
944
00:56:26,118 --> 00:56:29,028
Like, and it's not survival
of the fittest, it's survival
945
00:56:29,028 --> 00:56:30,138
of the most adaptable.
946
00:56:30,138 --> 00:56:32,088
Like that's why you've survived this far.
947
00:56:32,178 --> 00:56:35,121
'cause we adapt, we evolve, we grow.
948
00:56:36,078 --> 00:56:42,048
And so I would say yes, more challenging,
more difficult, perhaps you even
949
00:56:42,048 --> 00:56:43,998
lack some aptitude or whatever.
950
00:56:44,628 --> 00:56:49,128
But I'm just telling you, this
is what the evidence says.
951
00:56:49,728 --> 00:56:53,898
Take yourself, drop yourself in the
middle of these people, places and
952
00:56:53,898 --> 00:56:58,968
things and do what you can to engage
and create a little network there
953
00:56:58,968 --> 00:57:00,768
because it's absolutely lifesaving.
954
00:57:00,828 --> 00:57:01,128
So.
955
00:57:02,013 --> 00:57:03,843
Anyways, couple of thoughts.
956
00:57:04,453 --> 00:57:04,963
Russell Newton: fantastic.
957
00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:12,103
I appreciate your, um, consistently
presenting evidence-based material.
958
00:57:12,403 --> 00:57:17,743
Uh, what it, it's really a, it's a phrase
that we have in the podcast description
959
00:57:17,743 --> 00:57:21,043
that it's, it is evidence-based, it's
not, and maybe that's a difference in
960
00:57:21,043 --> 00:57:22,963
positive psychology and pop psychology.
961
00:57:23,478 --> 00:57:24,978
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
sure, sure.
962
00:57:25,063 --> 00:57:25,783
Russell Newton: Tony Robbins.
963
00:57:25,783 --> 00:57:28,063
You know, when I first heard
of Tony Robbins, I thought,
964
00:57:28,363 --> 00:57:29,653
yeah, it's pop psychology.
965
00:57:29,653 --> 00:57:33,643
It's somebody, uh, you know, he is
a good, he is, he's charismatic.
966
00:57:33,643 --> 00:57:33,853
He,
967
00:57:33,998 --> 00:57:34,218
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yes,
968
00:57:34,543 --> 00:57:35,143
Russell Newton: well.
969
00:57:35,323 --> 00:57:36,643
He can control a room.
970
00:57:36,643 --> 00:57:37,723
He can, but,
971
00:57:37,738 --> 00:57:37,858
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: I.
972
00:57:38,593 --> 00:57:41,183
Russell Newton: as I've learned a little
bit more about him, I find that he is,
973
00:57:41,388 --> 00:57:46,573
uh, he has some powerful things that can
really be beneficial for a lot of people.
974
00:57:47,323 --> 00:57:47,833
Uh.
975
00:57:48,273 --> 00:57:51,183
And one last thing on my part, you,
you mentioned part of a bigger story.
976
00:57:51,483 --> 00:57:54,513
One of my earliest, one of the first
record interviews that I did, I don't
977
00:57:54,513 --> 00:57:57,543
like to call 'em interviews, uh,
conversations I did on the podcast,
978
00:57:58,293 --> 00:58:04,893
uh, was with a businessman in, in
Minneapolis, and he has a, a, a small
979
00:58:04,893 --> 00:58:06,783
business, uh, 50 employees or so.
980
00:58:06,783 --> 00:58:12,423
But the employees that are in the company,
no one has ever left his employee.
981
00:58:12,973 --> 00:58:13,193
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Wow.
982
00:58:13,293 --> 00:58:15,093
Russell Newton: And that,
that to me is astounding.
983
00:58:15,093 --> 00:58:15,423
Right?
984
00:58:15,663 --> 00:58:19,023
Uh, and he's been in business for
many years, so it's not a, you
985
00:58:19,023 --> 00:58:20,283
know, it's not been six months.
986
00:58:20,283 --> 00:58:23,223
Some of them have been with him for 10
or 15 years, if I remember correctly.
987
00:58:23,673 --> 00:58:26,973
So I asked him about that and
he, he referred to that too.
988
00:58:27,003 --> 00:58:28,893
People wanna be part of a bigger story.
989
00:58:29,043 --> 00:58:30,483
He references college football.
990
00:58:30,888 --> 00:58:34,638
Uh, or any of the things that
you talked about, but people
991
00:58:34,638 --> 00:58:37,158
wanna be recognized in that.
992
00:58:37,368 --> 00:58:41,178
And it's necessary for a lot of people
in different ways, whatever it might be.
993
00:58:41,238 --> 00:58:42,978
You know, if you hate
sports, there's something,
994
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:43,643
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Sure.
995
00:58:43,943 --> 00:58:46,068
Russell Newton: that makes you
want to be part of a bigger story.
996
00:58:46,248 --> 00:58:52,908
And he used that in his business
philosophy make the office part
997
00:58:52,908 --> 00:58:54,648
of a bigger story for his people.
998
00:58:54,978 --> 00:58:59,208
And so it wasn't just, you know, come to
work, get it over with and, and be gone.
999
00:58:59,568 --> 00:59:05,838
It was, uh, more of a, uh, touchy feely
is the wrong phrase, but, uh, brought in
1000
00:59:05,838 --> 00:59:11,298
a lot of those psychological, uh, concepts
into the office to make it not just a job.
1001
00:59:12,408 --> 00:59:15,198
and I found that very interesting
that you referred to something very,
1002
00:59:15,198 --> 00:59:16,698
very similar to what he had said.
1003
00:59:17,598 --> 00:59:18,108
Uh.
1004
00:59:20,058 --> 00:59:24,348
I think, you know, in, I have two
questions that I do at the end, uh, uh,
1005
00:59:24,618 --> 00:59:28,398
one about habits and one about advice,
and I think you gave the exact advice that
1006
00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:30,528
you would've if I rephrase that question.
1007
00:59:30,528 --> 00:59:33,678
So, uh, we've got the two final
answers that we normally go for.
1008
00:59:33,678 --> 00:59:36,198
What I didn't ask you about,
and I'll give you a chance here
1009
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:39,018
to, to plug your website, uh, to
1010
00:59:39,083 --> 00:59:39,503
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Oh sure.
1011
00:59:39,618 --> 00:59:41,208
Russell Newton: you want
and give us a closing word.
1012
00:59:41,208 --> 00:59:42,318
If you have anything left.
1013
00:59:42,648 --> 00:59:46,158
Uh, you said you've written,
you've authored the book or two.
1014
00:59:46,788 --> 00:59:47,748
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Yeah, I have.
1015
00:59:47,868 --> 00:59:49,248
Russell Newton: And we haven't
talked about those at all.
1016
00:59:49,248 --> 00:59:50,928
So tell us about your books.
1017
00:59:51,138 --> 00:59:52,578
Tell us about your website.
1018
00:59:52,638 --> 00:59:58,338
Uh, this is not, limited to a locality.
1019
00:59:58,818 --> 01:00:00,618
Best I can tell from
looking at the website.
1020
01:00:00,618 --> 01:00:03,648
So if schools, if parents are
interested in finding out more,
1021
01:00:03,648 --> 01:00:06,048
they can [email protected].
1022
01:00:06,798 --> 01:00:12,288
you provide individual services,
uh, online or even for those
1023
01:00:12,288 --> 01:00:15,648
local in Utah, please feel free
to share something about that.
1024
01:00:16,038 --> 01:00:16,428
And.
1025
01:00:17,148 --> 01:00:21,288
Uh, leave us with a parting word and, and
we'll sign off and let our, uh, listeners
1026
01:00:21,588 --> 01:00:21,858
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
1027
01:00:21,978 --> 01:00:23,208
Russell Newton: some of
this great information that
1028
01:00:23,208 --> 01:00:23,958
we presented to 'em today.
1029
01:00:24,888 --> 01:00:25,278
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: Yeah.
1030
01:00:25,278 --> 01:00:25,908
That's awesome.
1031
01:00:25,908 --> 01:00:27,828
Thank you for, for that opportunity.
1032
01:00:27,828 --> 01:00:28,098
Yeah.
1033
01:00:28,153 --> 01:00:30,198
I, I, I've written a couple of books.
1034
01:00:30,198 --> 01:00:34,938
One of them was Mind Over Gray Matter, um,
and that was the first one that I wrote.
1035
01:00:34,938 --> 01:00:36,738
And, and I just have to say that was.
1036
01:00:37,518 --> 01:00:40,278
Such a meaningful experience for me.
1037
01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:45,558
I, I, I wanna say that maybe I
was 12 or 13 years into my private
1038
01:00:45,558 --> 01:00:47,868
practice then, and, and it was so
1039
01:00:50,028 --> 01:00:50,688
awesome.
1040
01:00:50,928 --> 01:00:58,248
Uh, I, I think to just take some of
this stuff that was just marinating up
1041
01:00:58,248 --> 01:01:03,318
there in my mind, some of my experiences
and just putting them down on paper.
1042
01:01:03,318 --> 01:01:05,628
And I think there's a part of me
that always wanted to do that.
1043
01:01:05,628 --> 01:01:12,618
My mom was an unpublished, but in my
opinion, just an incredible writer, poet.
1044
01:01:13,548 --> 01:01:16,608
And so I think that there was
a part of me that, that wanted
1045
01:01:16,608 --> 01:01:17,778
to do a little bit of that.
1046
01:01:17,793 --> 01:01:18,948
And, and I did.
1047
01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:22,878
And then I followed that up with
No Thy Selfie, which is kind
1048
01:01:22,878 --> 01:01:24,558
of a, a book more for teens.
1049
01:01:25,008 --> 01:01:28,068
Uh, we're actually kind of an Amazon
bestseller, which was kind of fun.
1050
01:01:28,698 --> 01:01:30,108
Uh, and, and I.
1051
01:01:30,543 --> 01:01:31,473
And I did that.
1052
01:01:31,473 --> 01:01:34,863
So those are the two books is Mind Over
Gray Matter and Know Thy Selfie, and
1053
01:01:34,863 --> 01:01:36,723
they're available on Amazon, of course.
1054
01:01:36,723 --> 01:01:39,423
But, uh, and then of course School Pulse.
1055
01:01:39,423 --> 01:01:46,203
I obviously, we are doing, we're
serving schools, schools, districts,
1056
01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:49,893
private schools, state departments even.
1057
01:01:50,583 --> 01:01:55,833
And our goal really is
to change the paradigm.
1058
01:01:56,018 --> 01:02:02,313
I, I, I feel like we're, we
can be a little enamored with
1059
01:02:02,313 --> 01:02:05,103
just the risk factors, right?
1060
01:02:05,103 --> 01:02:10,383
I, I feel like a lot of our
interventions at the school level are
1061
01:02:10,383 --> 01:02:14,733
just interventions, meaning we're,
we're just, we're just kind of a step.
1062
01:02:15,453 --> 01:02:16,323
Too late.
1063
01:02:16,833 --> 01:02:18,243
Uh, and all of it matters.
1064
01:02:18,243 --> 01:02:21,603
Like I, I, I, once again, I'm,
I'm not trying to be critical.
1065
01:02:21,603 --> 01:02:27,333
All that I'm suggesting is a
move from intervention, which I
1066
01:02:27,333 --> 01:02:29,013
think is where we live, right?
1067
01:02:29,013 --> 01:02:34,083
It's kind of that medical model that I
described and kind of this paradigm shift
1068
01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:37,413
towards proactive prevention, right?
1069
01:02:37,833 --> 01:02:39,183
Which really falls.
1070
01:02:39,393 --> 01:02:42,843
It's a move away from
what are the risk factors?
1071
01:02:42,843 --> 01:02:47,793
What are the signs of suicides to
what are the protective factors?
1072
01:02:47,793 --> 01:02:49,413
Like, what are the things, right?
1073
01:02:49,653 --> 01:02:53,763
What are the kinds of attitudes,
behaviors, psychology, mindsets that
1074
01:02:53,763 --> 01:02:56,553
we could adopt into our lives, right?
1075
01:02:56,553 --> 01:03:02,493
That could actually insulate and protect
us from suicide, from depression, from
1076
01:03:02,493 --> 01:03:04,323
anxiety, from post-traumatic stress.
1077
01:03:05,103 --> 01:03:10,233
And, and I say that right as a
bit of a social scientist myself.
1078
01:03:10,938 --> 01:03:15,768
To recognize that, I know we can't
ultimately end all of those things,
1079
01:03:15,768 --> 01:03:18,648
but the evidence really is good, right?
1080
01:03:18,648 --> 01:03:26,028
That when we have these protective areas,
right, flowing nicely in our lives, right,
1081
01:03:26,388 --> 01:03:28,660
that they really do protect us, right?
1082
01:03:28,728 --> 01:03:34,158
And yes, you know, the quarterback
or the cheerleader or the this, those
1083
01:03:34,158 --> 01:03:36,408
people are just as vulnerable too.
1084
01:03:37,098 --> 01:03:40,608
But the reality is they have a, they
may have, and other people do like
1085
01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:45,558
a lot of protective elements that
make it less likely than they will.
1086
01:03:45,558 --> 01:03:49,308
And that's really what we wanna
bring to the school, is we want to
1087
01:03:49,308 --> 01:03:51,978
help students succeed academically.
1088
01:03:51,978 --> 01:03:54,408
We want them to participate
and to be engaged.
1089
01:03:54,408 --> 01:03:58,428
We want them to improve their
behavior and decision making, right?
1090
01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:02,028
So that the culture and the overall
environment at the school is better.
1091
01:04:02,538 --> 01:04:06,048
And that's really what we
do, but we wanna do it right.
1092
01:04:06,453 --> 01:04:11,403
With that less focus on just the
how do we stop suicide, which is a
1093
01:04:11,403 --> 01:04:13,773
good focus and we deal with that.
1094
01:04:14,403 --> 01:04:18,033
But man, how do we build mental fitness?
1095
01:04:18,123 --> 01:04:19,713
How do we build excellence?
1096
01:04:19,743 --> 01:04:24,003
How do we build an awesome, an
extraordinary mindset that would
1097
01:04:24,003 --> 01:04:26,073
ultimately lead to an extraordinary life?
1098
01:04:26,103 --> 01:04:27,423
Like that's where we live.
1099
01:04:27,993 --> 01:04:32,163
And if as a school or a district
you're interested in really doing
1100
01:04:32,163 --> 01:04:40,023
that, my humble pitch is we are
the solution like for that better.
1101
01:04:40,443 --> 01:04:43,233
And, and I think some of our
resources will show that.
1102
01:04:43,233 --> 01:04:45,903
And, and, and I'll share that with you.
1103
01:04:45,903 --> 01:04:49,443
And as far as just, you know,
any, you can reach out to me,
1104
01:04:49,443 --> 01:04:50,973
you can go to school post.org.
1105
01:04:50,973 --> 01:04:54,463
You can reach me at [email protected]
1106
01:04:54,483 --> 01:04:54,903
as well.
1107
01:04:54,903 --> 01:04:56,253
It's spelled IURI.
1108
01:04:56,253 --> 01:05:02,433
But, um, but honestly, I, I'm just,
psychology has been so fun for me.
1109
01:05:02,438 --> 01:05:02,448
It.
1110
01:05:03,198 --> 01:05:05,088
I think it's been a positive in my life.
1111
01:05:05,508 --> 01:05:08,658
Uh, I feel like it can be that
way towards other people as well.
1112
01:05:09,378 --> 01:05:16,278
Um, but I would, I would say to
you it's, I think you actually
1113
01:05:16,278 --> 01:05:17,658
even made kind of a statement.
1114
01:05:17,808 --> 01:05:22,368
Um, you know, specifically,
it's almost as if like, it's,
1115
01:05:22,428 --> 01:05:24,498
it's not enough to just be okay.
1116
01:05:24,498 --> 01:05:26,238
The, the concept of thriving, right?
1117
01:05:26,478 --> 01:05:30,468
Like the idea that we can thrive,
not just survive, not just hang on.
1118
01:05:31,128 --> 01:05:35,358
Uh, and I think beyond even that, right?
1119
01:05:35,358 --> 01:05:37,668
And I'm not here to create
some pressure, right?
1120
01:05:37,668 --> 01:05:41,568
Like, you, you have to be happy, you
know, at, at like a seven or an eight or
1121
01:05:41,568 --> 01:05:43,578
don't be satisfied for a three or a four.
1122
01:05:44,448 --> 01:05:47,688
And, and, and I, and I think really
what I, what I'm trying, what I, what
1123
01:05:47,688 --> 01:05:51,618
I like to talk about is kind of this
concept of emotional maturity, right?
1124
01:05:51,618 --> 01:05:58,698
Which is, it's our ability to experience
the full spectrum of emotion, right?
1125
01:05:58,698 --> 01:06:00,558
All the way from the negative tens.
1126
01:06:01,293 --> 01:06:02,433
To the positive tens.
1127
01:06:02,433 --> 01:06:02,613
Right?
1128
01:06:02,613 --> 01:06:08,373
And, and certainly we want to function
more right up here on the positives
1129
01:06:09,153 --> 01:06:13,683
because when we are right, you know, it's,
it's like that Copernican switch, right?
1130
01:06:13,683 --> 01:06:19,953
Like the idea that happiness or
success revolves around happiness,
1131
01:06:20,403 --> 01:06:21,783
not the other way around.
1132
01:06:21,783 --> 01:06:24,663
And so, obviously we
want to promote wellness.
1133
01:06:24,663 --> 01:06:26,043
We wanna promote optimism.
1134
01:06:26,043 --> 01:06:30,483
We wanna promote positive feelings,
uh, and exciting feelings in our lives
1135
01:06:30,483 --> 01:06:31,953
because we just seem to do better.
1136
01:06:31,953 --> 01:06:35,403
We're more patient, we're more
resilient, we deal with things better.
1137
01:06:36,273 --> 01:06:41,373
Um, but it's also important to
realize that there's a real, um,
1138
01:06:41,583 --> 01:06:46,803
that there's real meaning in some
of those dark undertones, right?
1139
01:06:47,733 --> 01:06:50,283
In some of, of those pieces in our lives.
1140
01:06:50,283 --> 01:06:57,663
And so it's, it's less of a pressure
to be here and more maybe that
1141
01:06:57,663 --> 01:06:59,763
realization that every moment.
1142
01:07:00,528 --> 01:07:03,288
Can prepare us for the very next moment.
1143
01:07:03,288 --> 01:07:03,738
Right.
1144
01:07:04,278 --> 01:07:08,748
Um, I'm reminding, in fact, speaking
of Tony Robbins, you brought him
1145
01:07:08,748 --> 01:07:12,168
to mind that he used to tell this
really awesome story about Nelson
1146
01:07:12,168 --> 01:07:17,148
Mandela when he was, you know, kind of
unjustly in prison for like 37 years.
1147
01:07:17,148 --> 01:07:20,898
And that he had this interview, uh,
you know, with the reporter once he
1148
01:07:20,898 --> 01:07:23,928
had been released and he was president
and he had, you know, trying to
1149
01:07:23,928 --> 01:07:25,848
abolish apartheid in South Africa.
1150
01:07:26,538 --> 01:07:30,858
And he has this interview, um, allegedly.
1151
01:07:30,858 --> 01:07:34,218
I actually have never quite found a
record of that, but I've told this story
1152
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:37,728
a million times because I think it's so
powerful, you know, and this basically
1153
01:07:37,728 --> 01:07:42,978
this reporter him, you know, how did you
handle the, you know, the, the injustice?
1154
01:07:43,008 --> 01:07:45,048
You know, how did you deal
with the suffering, right?
1155
01:07:45,048 --> 01:07:47,628
And, and allegedly he says what?
1156
01:07:47,628 --> 01:07:48,618
Suffering, right?
1157
01:07:48,978 --> 01:07:50,868
It was preparation, right?
1158
01:07:51,588 --> 01:07:57,198
And that concept, right, that we
can somehow swallow stuff, right.
1159
01:07:57,903 --> 01:08:03,003
And like synthesize it in there
and then to have it come out
1160
01:08:03,003 --> 01:08:06,363
as preparation is magnificent.
1161
01:08:06,483 --> 01:08:06,873
Right?
1162
01:08:06,873 --> 01:08:07,503
Is,
1163
01:08:09,963 --> 01:08:13,023
is, is That's the extraordinary mindset.
1164
01:08:13,293 --> 01:08:17,733
That's how we become
invincible in a sense, right?
1165
01:08:17,733 --> 01:08:22,202
Is, is, is we have a, a, a
psychology that just is willing,
1166
01:08:22,323 --> 01:08:24,332
it's open, it's soft hearted.
1167
01:08:24,332 --> 01:08:29,553
It's, it's kind of got that growth mindset
concept to it and it allows us to just
1168
01:08:29,553 --> 01:08:35,193
bounce back, not just to that normal,
but to bounce back as preparation, right?
1169
01:08:35,193 --> 01:08:37,502
It's actually preparing me for more.
1170
01:08:37,502 --> 01:08:40,148
So anyways, some fun
things to think about.
1171
01:08:41,542 --> 01:08:41,823
Russell Newton: Absolutely.
1172
01:08:41,837 --> 01:08:42,768
Thank you so much.
1173
01:08:42,798 --> 01:08:46,622
You know, I'm, I'm really looking forward
to editing, uh, this episode because there
1174
01:08:46,622 --> 01:08:48,542
are a lot of little pieces in there that.
1175
01:08:49,638 --> 01:08:52,667
Uh, we could go back and probably
spend another half an episode on
1176
01:08:52,758 --> 01:08:53,258
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
You bet.
1177
01:08:53,388 --> 01:08:55,428
Russell Newton: that you ran
through some really strong things
1178
01:08:55,428 --> 01:08:56,457
there, and I, I appreciate that.
1179
01:08:56,758 --> 01:08:57,138
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
You bet.
1180
01:08:57,138 --> 01:09:00,917
Russell Newton: Um, when I was
growing up, I grew up in church.
1181
01:09:00,948 --> 01:09:06,377
Uh, we were a very religious family
and my pastor at the time frequently
1182
01:09:06,377 --> 01:09:14,957
used the illustration of if there's
a dangerous road, uh, with a, a steep
1183
01:09:14,957 --> 01:09:17,028
drop off a cliff beside the road.
1184
01:09:18,138 --> 01:09:22,908
His approach to working with families
and with the members of the church to
1185
01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:28,788
put a guardrail by the road, not to put
a hospital at the bottom of the cliff.
1186
01:09:29,957 --> 01:09:30,428
Uh,
1187
01:09:30,728 --> 01:09:31,247
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
really good.
1188
01:09:31,968 --> 01:09:35,688
Russell Newton: which is exactly, I think
in line with what you say, prevention
1189
01:09:35,688 --> 01:09:39,438
and proactive, not reactive treatment.
1190
01:09:39,888 --> 01:09:40,877
It's difficult to do,
1191
01:09:41,372 --> 01:09:41,883
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse: It is.
1192
01:09:41,988 --> 01:09:44,028
Russell Newton: but, but
so is reactive treatment.
1193
01:09:44,268 --> 01:09:44,598
Uh.
1194
01:09:46,983 --> 01:09:48,903
Just some very great stuff there.
1195
01:09:48,903 --> 01:09:50,343
I really appreciate your time.
1196
01:09:50,823 --> 01:09:56,463
Uh, I hope the listeners got a portion
of the benefit out of this that I did
1197
01:09:56,463 --> 01:09:58,083
because I, I really learned a lot.
1198
01:09:58,653 --> 01:10:03,483
Um, listeners, this was Iuri Mellow,
and I'm gonna spell it because
1199
01:10:03,483 --> 01:10:05,403
it's, uh, it is Portuguese, right?
1200
01:10:05,673 --> 01:10:13,353
IURI, Iuri Melo, MELO, uh, author
licensed clinical social worker,
1201
01:10:13,803 --> 01:10:17,043
but co-founder of school plus.org.
1202
01:10:17,523 --> 01:10:21,663
Uh, available through that
website if you'd like to
1203
01:10:21,693 --> 01:10:23,973
contact him directly by email.
1204
01:10:25,833 --> 01:10:26,643
just some.
1205
01:10:26,643 --> 01:10:27,393
Fantastic.
1206
01:10:27,753 --> 01:10:28,713
Uh, did I say author?
1207
01:10:29,043 --> 01:10:31,683
Couple two books there that,
uh, we have out there that we
1208
01:10:31,683 --> 01:10:33,183
should, we should look at as well.
1209
01:10:33,363 --> 01:10:34,443
Thank you so much for your time.
1210
01:10:35,103 --> 01:10:39,693
I appreciate it greatly and wish you
great success, uh, with school plus.org
1211
01:10:39,693 --> 01:10:40,893
and, and the many other.
1212
01:10:41,373 --> 01:10:44,763
Ventures, you know, and, uh,
we need to do a follow up.
1213
01:10:44,763 --> 01:10:45,843
Maybe you can get in touch with me.
1214
01:10:46,053 --> 01:10:47,433
If you ever wanna do
a follow up interview.
1215
01:10:47,433 --> 01:10:52,443
I'd like to find out more about,
uh, your, uh, adventure therapy.
1216
01:10:52,443 --> 01:10:53,073
Is that what you called
1217
01:10:53,163 --> 01:10:53,973
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1218
01:10:54,033 --> 01:10:55,113
Adventure based therapy.
1219
01:10:55,113 --> 01:10:55,383
Yeah.
1220
01:10:55,683 --> 01:10:56,043
Russell Newton: Yeah.
1221
01:10:56,043 --> 01:10:56,103
It
1222
01:10:56,133 --> 01:10:56,973
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
kind of what I've call it.
1223
01:10:57,183 --> 01:10:57,483
Russell Newton: Bound.
1224
01:10:57,483 --> 01:10:58,233
Is it similar to that?
1225
01:10:58,893 --> 01:11:01,023
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
Uh, it, it, it, it is, but Outward
1226
01:11:01,023 --> 01:11:04,533
Bound, it's kind of done in like in
group settings or things like that.
1227
01:11:04,533 --> 01:11:07,293
And, and for me, it's,
it's one-on-one, right?
1228
01:11:07,293 --> 01:11:11,702
It's, I mean, we'll leave my office or
we will, we'll meet outside, or we'll
1229
01:11:11,702 --> 01:11:15,303
meet at the climbing gym and we're
just, we're doing extraordinary things.
1230
01:11:15,303 --> 01:11:20,973
It's, I think therapy can sometimes be
a little stale or I would definitely
1231
01:11:20,973 --> 01:11:24,243
say for adolescents and teenagers,
it's a little bit threatening.
1232
01:11:24,933 --> 01:11:27,303
Uh, but climbing is not.
1233
01:11:27,813 --> 01:11:28,653
Climbing is not.
1234
01:11:28,773 --> 01:11:32,223
And, and, and I think sometimes parents,
you know, really want their child
1235
01:11:32,223 --> 01:11:34,683
to come in and to gain some benefit.
1236
01:11:34,683 --> 01:11:38,163
And, but a lot of times for teens,
the benefit isn't, you know, that
1237
01:11:38,163 --> 01:11:42,393
I'm gonna give them some like, really
powerful like cognitive jewel, right.
1238
01:11:42,393 --> 01:11:48,813
And it's just gonna be like, uh,
for teens it, it, it has to feel
1239
01:11:48,813 --> 01:11:51,063
great when they're with a therapist.
1240
01:11:51,063 --> 01:11:54,633
Like it's, it's, I think it's almost
a little bit more emotional than it
1241
01:11:54,633 --> 01:11:57,763
is cognitive for them becomes more
cognitive as they become adults.
1242
01:11:58,063 --> 01:11:58,483
Russell Newton: Mm-hmm.
1243
01:11:58,783 --> 01:12:00,903
iuri melo, Co-founder SchoolPulse:
And, and the climbing experience, like
1244
01:12:00,903 --> 01:12:03,963
I said, is just, it's, it's so easy.
1245
01:12:03,993 --> 01:12:08,013
It's, it's like naturally
a trusting environment.
1246
01:12:08,283 --> 01:12:12,303
I mean, there's just some real cool
things that happen very quickly.
1247
01:12:12,723 --> 01:12:17,583
You know, when I'm belaying a kid that's
50 feet up in the air, like there's
1248
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:19,833
some trust that hap and by the way Yeah.
1249
01:12:20,013 --> 01:12:22,533
And they're doing that to me
as well, which is kind of wild.
1250
01:12:23,193 --> 01:12:24,933
So it's kind of wild.
1251
01:12:25,668 --> 01:12:29,298
Russell Newton: Uh, and I, I thought of
this several times during the process, uh,
1252
01:12:29,298 --> 01:12:31,248
of your describing the, the system there.
1253
01:12:32,838 --> 01:12:39,408
It really is a, a great on-ramp for
the kids that need something more
1254
01:12:39,408 --> 01:12:41,748
extensive or something more in depth.
1255
01:12:42,468 --> 01:12:47,118
We talk occasionally about the
social morays or the hindrances to
1256
01:12:47,118 --> 01:12:48,582
someone saying, I'm in counseling.
1257
01:12:48,738 --> 01:12:49,698
I need counseling.
1258
01:12:49,968 --> 01:12:51,528
I'm thinking about getting counseling.
1259
01:12:51,948 --> 01:12:54,858
You know, we talk about, well call
it coaching or call it mentoring, and
1260
01:12:54,858 --> 01:12:57,138
you don't have that social stigma.
1261
01:12:58,323 --> 01:13:01,983
But I could see, you know, if I've
been getting text messages and emails
1262
01:13:01,983 --> 01:13:06,783
from an organization that have been
helpful, that that's just a great on-ramp
1263
01:13:06,783 --> 01:13:10,653
to, to lower some of those barriers
and to make those students as those
1264
01:13:10,653 --> 01:13:15,813
young people just, uh, more willing to
take the next step when they need it.
1265
01:13:15,813 --> 01:13:17,433
I think it's a great
service you're providing.
1266
01:13:17,613 --> 01:13:19,233
As I said, I hope you have great success.
1267
01:13:19,593 --> 01:13:24,513
Uh, maybe you can expand and provide
that next for college age students and
1268
01:13:24,513 --> 01:13:27,843
then on up into young professionals
because I think the process is very
1269
01:13:27,843 --> 01:13:33,633
strong, uh, and I think people at
all stages of life, there's, there's
1270
01:13:33,633 --> 01:13:36,963
a great bit of benefit there that
can be had for a number of people.
1271
01:13:37,083 --> 01:13:40,983
Alright, listeners, Iuri Mellow
author, co-founder of School
1272
01:13:40,983 --> 01:13:45,933
Plus I keep wanting say School
Plus, but it's school pulse.org.
1273
01:13:46,143 --> 01:13:48,213
Thanks for being with us today, listeners.
1274
01:13:48,423 --> 01:13:49,233
We'll see you next week.
1275
01:13:49,263 --> 01:13:49,833
Have a great one.
1276
01:13:50,103 --> 01:13:50,373
Bye.
