Shownotes
Nutrition Nugget! Bite-sized bonus episodes offer tips, tricks and approachable science. This week, Jenn is talking about one tiny word you probably say every day: should. Have you ever noticed how often it shows up when you think about food, workouts, and your health? Jenn digs into what people are searching online, why the answer to nearly every one of those questions is “it depends,” and a surprising line she heard that gave her chills. Some say a little pressure gets you moving, while others say it quietly works against you. Is the word “should” a helpful push or a hidden trap, and what might happen if you swapped it for a different word? Jenn shares where she lands, and the answer might change how you talk to yourself. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes of new releases every Wednesday. Have an idea for a nutrition nugget? Submit it here: https://asaladwithasideoffries.com/index.php/contact/
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Jenn Trepeck, Nutrition Nugget, Salad With A Side Of Fries, Health Tips, Wellness Tips, Positive Self Talk, Should, Could, Shame, Guilt, Self Talk, Should Talk, Mindset, Motivation, Wellness, Weight Loss, Healthy Habits, Diet Culture, Intermittent Fasting, Calorie Counting, Gluten Free, Low Carb, Protein Supplement, Red Meat, Water Intake, Eating Habits, Emotional Eating, Food Shame, Brené Brown, Self Compassion, Self Judgment, Behavior Change, Health Coach, Lifestyle Coach, Mindful Eating, Food Rules, Dieting, Healthy Lifestyle, Body Image, Self Worth, Mental Health, Nutrition Advice, Sustainable Habits, Stress Management, Sleep, Exercise, How To Stop Shoulding Yourself With Food, Why Shame Does Not Motivate Healthy Eating
Transcripts
Jenn Trepeck: [00:00:00] Welcome to Salad with a Side of Fries. I'm your host Jenn Trepeck talking wellness and weight loss for real life. We're here to clear up the myths, misinformation, fad science and marketing to teach you how to eat and how to cheat. Are you ready? I'm having salad with a side of fries You're listening to Salad with a Side of Fries, which means you care about what you feed yourself.
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Text the word Dash, D-A-S-H, to [00:01:00] 833-801-0500 for 60% off your first box. Again, text the word Dash, D-A-S-H, to 833-801-0500 for 60% off your first box. This week we're talking about should. Literally, the word should. It's a word that you will rarely hear me use, except to say, "Stop shoulding yourself," or, "Stop shoulding the bet," which is cute, and it's really just a fun way to help break the thought pattern of the person that I'm talking to who's using the word should.
Anyway, recently I heard something that made my avoidance of this word go so much deeper. Let's walk through it. Okay, so think about when you use the word should. In my old dieting days, I remember [00:02:00] thinking, "Well, what should I eat?" Or, "What should I be doing at the gym?" Or someone, we'd be talking about something, and I'd think to myself, "Ugh, I should."
You know what I mean? And it's been a long time since I have said these phrases, because the word is so not a part of my vocabulary anymore. So I thought this was a great use of AI. So I went to AI and I said, "What are people searching for on the internet using the word should?" And of course, because my AI tool knows me, it specifically pulled uses in terms of food and eating and diet and weight and health and lifestyle and all those things.
So here's what people are searching. Should I eat before or after exercise? Should I stop eating red meat? Should I be taking a supplement? Should I eat after 7:00 PM? How much water should I drink each [00:03:00] day? How many calories should I eat? How many nuts should I eat? Should I go gluten-free? Should I cut carbs?
Should I try intermittent fasting? Should I take a protein supplement? Should I work out when I'm sick? Should I eat breakfast every day? Should I count calories? Now here's the thing. First of all, thank you AI and the internet for those fantastic phrases and that list, because it puts it into perspective for us.
It gives us a way of thinking about how we're using this word. And the answer, if I were to sit here and say, "As a health and lifestyle coach, here's how I'm gonna answer every single one of those," the answer to every single one of these is, it depends. Except more often in our everyday lives, these questions aren't what we say out loud or even what we say to ourselves.
Rather, we use the word should in statements. I should stop eating red meat. I should take that [00:04:00] supplement. I should stop eating at 7:00 PM. I should drink more water. I should eat fewer calories. I should eat fewer nuts. I should stop eating gluten. I should cut carbs. I should be intermittent fasting. I should work out more.
So my question to you as you hear these statements, what registers, other than my absurd way of saying those questions, what registers for you? When they're asked as questions, it's asking someone for the answers. When they're statements, the first thing I notice is what it was for me when I used to say it.
Every single one, when it's a statement, is following some set of rules. Except it's also, in the same breath, admitting that you're wrong for not following those rules, not doing that thing. Like, the word inherently carries with [00:05:00] it this implication of failure. "I'm wrong. I'm doing it wrong," whatever the it is.
And then on top of all of that, this is what I heard the other day that hit me and had me make the note for us to do this Nutrition Nugget. It said, "Should is just could wrapped in shame." I'm pausing because it hits hard. "Should is just could wrapped in shame." And I have chills as I'm saying this, so it must mean something for us, right?
So we talked about shame in our Nutrition Nugget on guilt. We talked about it also in our episode that really focused on comparison called Perception versus Reality. For this conversation, I went to look up the meaning of shame. So Oxford and Merriam-Webster say shame is painful feeling of humiliation or distress.
Painful feeling of [00:06:00] humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. In psychology, shame connotes I am bad versus I did something bad. And then if you take the Brené Brown definition, shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed, and because of that flaw, we are unworthy of love or belonging.
So I go back to this idea that if should is could wrapped in shame, it's like there's a possibility of something, except you are the problem. Or in your mind, it would be I am the problem. Not the choice, but I, me, as a person. Now finally, the piece that I think that makes the [00:07:00] use of the word should so troubling to me is that on top of all of this, I hear it most used in a way where the person saying it is attempting to motivate themselves.
Except what we know is that motivation by judgment is not all that effective. I see it in my own experiences, I see it with my clients, and research on motivation reinforces this. There are studies showing that using shame to change behavior can in fact elicit the opposite of the desired outcome. So where this leaves us, sort of long story short, it's time to leave should behind.
Instead, maybe we could use the word could. I could eat more veggies. I could drink more water. I could focus on my sleep. And what if that's all you have to do right now? Change [00:08:00] should to could and simply see what happens. So for all of those people out there should-ing the bed, let's see what could happen.
Well, as always everybody, I'm your host Jenn Trepeck. Connect with me on Instagram or all social media. I'm @jenntrepeck, J-E-N-N-T-R-E-P-E-C-K. Website is asaladwithasideoffries.com. Pick your platform, send a message. I love hearing from you, your ideas, your takeaways, your questions. This is also the easiest way to learn more about working with me as your coach.
And Dr. John Douillard, thank you again for joining us this week. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. Absolutely. All right, friends, if you are not already a member, join us in the Happy Healthy Hub. You'll go to asaladwithasideoffries.com/membership. This shows your support for this podcast, this community, and your health.
On top of this week's episode in full video with behind-the-scenes pieces and your 24/7 ask me anything on the community board, you'll get this week's recipe for the CCF tea. [00:09:00] Well, friends, that's it for today's episode of Salad with a Side of Fries. Congratulations for making yourself and your health a priority.
Thanks so much for joining us. Be sure to click subscribe or follow on your favorite podcast platform. Share us with a friend, and we'll be back next week. Always remember, you deserve it and you are worth it. Happy healthy.