Shownotes
In this episode of God Talk with Kim D, we discuss courtship as a commitment to marriage, making important decisions while following biblical principles. We highlight the importance of compatibility, getting to know a person's character, beliefs, and behaviors. We emphasize that courtship is not for physical intimacy before marriage and recommend reading the Song of Songs for a deeper understanding. We address the misconception of sex before marriage and emphasize God's design for lovemaking within marriage. Seeking God's guidance and avoiding the devil's deception is crucial. We offer a prayer and invite listeners to Proverbs31women.com for resources on biblical principles and finding a partner.
0:00:01 Introduction to the podcast and topic of courtship
0:01:42 Contrasting casual dating with committed courtship
0:04:06 Understanding the Purpose of Courtship
0:04:43 Honoring the Commitment of Marriage
0:05:36 The Impact of Premarital Sex on Relationships
0:06:08 God's view on intimacy and relationships
0:07:16 The role of Satan in distorting God's intentions
0:10:30 Seeking God's guidance in choosing a partner
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Transcripts
Welcome to God Talk with Kim D, a podcast for Christian singles as well as
Speaker:non-believers that are looking for
Speaker:a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage.
Speaker:I'm Kim D and welcome again. Today's topic is going to be on courtship.
Speaker:In my last episode, I talked about dating and the important points and the basic things about dating.
Speaker:And I just wanted to reiterate some things that I went over in the last episode.
Speaker:When you're dating, you're actually interviewing that person and finding out about that person's characteristics.
Speaker:You're finding out about their likes, about their relationship with God, what they think
Speaker:about the current events that are happening in today's society, and basically finding
Speaker:out about their behaviors because you don't want to be with somebody that flips in a New
Speaker:York minute.
Speaker:So I'm here to help you to find and to navigate to the right person that God has for you.
Speaker:Dating is a very important aspect of relationship because that is actually the first point and,
Speaker:the beginning.
Speaker:Is when you're going to take it a little bit further and you're romantically involved with this person
Speaker:that you both have decided that you want to spend the rest of your life together.
Speaker:So you're ending up in the things of God and doing what God has called you to doing.
Speaker:And courtship is a commitment. It's not like dating. Dating in the world is very casual.
Speaker:You know, people meet up, they end up having sex, they end up doing whatever they want to do,
Speaker:and that's not dating.
Speaker:Dating is finding out about that person to make sure that this is the person
Speaker:that's supposed to be in your life.
Speaker:That's why the relationships today are just off the chain. Like, no one even really goes back to the basic principles
Speaker:of what the Holy Bible, what God says about relationships.
Speaker:Wouldn't it be nice?
Speaker:If every day you would pray to God and say, Lord, you know, this is my heart desire is to be in a relationship.
Speaker:Send me the right man, send me the right woman that he and I can get together.
Speaker:She and I can get together and preach the gospel and do the things that you
Speaker:have called us to doing. With a courtship, as I said before, is a commitment.
Speaker:And that's when you decide to marry this person. and you decide how many kids you want,
Speaker:you decide what ministry God has for you, you decide all the things that what the Bible tells you.
Speaker:If people would really listen to what the Holy Spirit says about relationships,
Speaker:I think we would have less problems with family
Speaker:because you have a lot of broken families because it started with the man and the woman,
Speaker:being together and not really seeking out who their partner should have been.
Speaker:In courtship, I would really suggest, and I just wanted to talk about one of the books
Speaker:in the Bible called the Song of Songs.
Speaker:And it's Solomon, the king, that is talking about his feelings for this woman that he's going after.
Speaker:He was going after this woman and they were courting each other.
Speaker:And they both were going back and forth about their feelings of how they felt for one another
Speaker:to the point where it went to the place of marriage.
Speaker:And the book is so beautiful because it's very...
Speaker:About love, it has God in it, it talks about how the woman felt about her partner and it talks about him, how he felt about his bride and I really would
Speaker:suggest and really encourage you to read that so you can learn about what
Speaker:courtship is. Courtship is not something as where a lot of people think that, oh
Speaker:I'm gonna be marrying Tom so guess what I can start sleeping with him because
Speaker:eventually we're going to be married and this is how it's going to be. No, wrong answer.
Speaker:Courtship is not for that. Courtship is to be brought together as a commitment and to,
Speaker:go forward for the marriage. Marriage is a very important and very important to God.
Speaker:Bringing two people together. People don't honor the bedroom and you need to,
Speaker:because you are, think about this, think about you want to be surprised on
Speaker:Christmas and you have this beautiful box that is just with the beautiful ribbon, the wrapping and you're just like oh I'm so excited I can't wait till I
Speaker:I open up this box, but you open it up before Christmas.
Speaker:And then when Christmas comes, you're not excited because you already opened up that present, opened up that gift.
Speaker:Well, that's how sex and relationship, when you have sex before marriage.
Speaker:You already opened up the gift. And God wants you to have that gift on your wedding day
Speaker:for you and that man, or you and that woman.
Speaker:To come together as one to consummate the marriage. God really, you know, I talk to a lot of people
Speaker:and a lot of women feel deprived,
Speaker:like, I can't, you know, I desire to be with somebody. Girl, listen, everybody desires to be
Speaker:with somebody. But if you want it to be blessed and honored by God, then go by what God says.
Speaker:One thing I can honestly say is that everybody thinks that God doesn't want you to be in a
Speaker:relationship or God doesn't want you to be intimate with that person. And there's a difference between
Speaker:sex and a difference about lovemaking. Sex is getting you, you're getting off on something,
Speaker:and lovemaking is that you are giving the pleasure to both parties. That man and that woman that you
Speaker:have given each other that gift that God wants you to embrace in that and God wants you to enjoy it.
Speaker:God created lovemaking. God created that.
Speaker:Satan did not, and the devil will come in and try to destroy that, and tell you,
Speaker:and whisper things, oh, go ahead and have sex.
Speaker:God don't want you to have sex, because God wants to deprive you.
Speaker:Just like, let's go back to the beginning of time with Adam and Eve.
Speaker:Adam had everything. God told him you can do anything that you want to do,
Speaker:but don't take the fruit off that tree.
Speaker:God gave him, he, I mean, paradise. Can you imagine going through the beautiful garden,
Speaker:seeing the beauty of God's creation, and enjoying what God has given you?
Speaker:And then God creates a woman that he took a rib out of Adam to create that woman for him.
Speaker:And then you have Adam and Eve, and they're enjoying each other,
Speaker:and they're doing everything. But here comes Satan, the devil,
Speaker:the liar, the destroyer, the one that wants to lie. He's a counterfeit.
Speaker:Everything that God says that is good, he will take it and make it ugly. Just like with music. Music was from God, not from Satan.
Speaker:The reason why Satan is so involved in music today because he was God's main person to do the praise and worship when he was in
Speaker:heaven before he got kicked out. Then going back to Adam and Eve saying this, here comes Satan and he lies to them and
Speaker:says, oh you know what if you eat that fruit.
Speaker:Guess what the reason why God don't want you to know that fruit is because then you will be like him and you will know things. So he was
Speaker:enticing them. So he didn't get to Adam but he got to Eve and then they went
Speaker:ahead and ate the fruit. So I'm here to tell you wait on God for your mate. Let
Speaker:him show you who the person that you're supposed to be with and save yourself to
Speaker:give that gift to that man or to that woman. That is a gift that God has given
Speaker:between man and between woman. And it's a beautiful thing. Go back and read in the
Speaker:Bible. Read the songs of songs. Read it and see what God will minister and speak
Speaker:to you, say, Holy Spirit, I heard Kim Dee speak about this. Let God show you.
Speaker:I really encourage all of you to really read your word and to really have God give you guidance
Speaker:because really the word of God is instruction
Speaker:and direction, excuse me, and how to do life.
Speaker:God does not want to deprive you from anything. He wants to give everything to you
Speaker:but according to how he wants to give it to you because he knows that we're in a fallen world
Speaker:and he wants to make sure that what he gives to you, that you know that it was given to you by him and him alone.
Speaker:Now you'll have the devil come to you and tell you, hey, you know what?
Speaker:You need to go marry Bob over here because you know, Bob is gonna give you this,
Speaker:this and this and that.
Speaker:Wrong answer.
Speaker:Seek out the Lord even to the point where you have to fast and ask God,
Speaker:is this the person that you have for me?
Speaker:And then, if Bob tells you, you know, Grace, I wanna experience, you know,
Speaker:having relations with you, let's have sex together so we know if we are compatible together.
Speaker:And they'll start smooth talking and saying, you know what, God created this, this is okay.
Speaker:And if you feel bad about it, just go back and repent and God will forgive you.
Speaker:It doesn't work that way. God does forgive us when we do repent,
Speaker:but we have to have a heart of repentance.
Speaker:We don't sin just because the next day we could go to God and say, hey God, you know, forgive me for doing that.
Speaker:And then we go back and we continue to keep doing it again and again and again.
Speaker:That's not what.
Speaker:Relationships is all about. It is about God and basing in the things that God has for you,
Speaker:and having that relationship that God says that is good. Marriage is good. Love is beautiful.
Speaker:God created it. Everything that has been created on this earth, it came from God.
Speaker:Whatever it turns into bad is because of the devil, because of what he has done
Speaker:and what he is trying to do to destroy families and marriages today. Take a good
Speaker:look everyone. Look around you. Look what's going on and what is happening in
Speaker:our world today. If you don't see that we're in the last days, I don't know what
Speaker:to tell you, but I'm telling you right now.
Speaker:That God has a person for you.
Speaker:And God wants you to know the truth about what relationships are about.
Speaker:The biblical principles, what he says about relationships, not what man says, but what God says.
Speaker:God will download it to you.
Speaker:I know a lot of people think that, well, you know, you know, God's, he's okay with what I'm doing.
Speaker:And I'm looking at them like, well, if you accepted him as your Lord and savior and you
Speaker:have committed to him, no, it's not okay.
Speaker:God will tell you what is right and what's wrong.
Speaker:And you know what, and another thing, when people say, well, I felt this in my spirit. What did you feel?
Speaker:Ask God because you're dealing with your flesh as well as the spiritual man.
Speaker:Amen. I'm telling you, trust God and wait on the Lord to tell you what relationship is supposed to be.
Speaker:That's why so many people are in these bad relationships and abusive relationships because,
Speaker:at the first time around when they were dating this person, this person swept them off their
Speaker:feet, told them everything that they wanted to hear, but there were signs.
Speaker:But you ignored them because you like the treatment. You like the fact that this man bought you a Louis Vuitton handbag.
Speaker:Answer. You got to trust God in showing you who the person you're supposed to be with.
Speaker:Because the enemy will counterfeit everything about God. But if you seek the Lord and ask him,
Speaker:he will show you and it will bring peace to your spirit man.
Speaker:You will know without a shadow of doubt, this is what the Lord has said.
Speaker:This is what God has told me to doing.
Speaker:Women and men of God, Go back and reevaluate the person that you are in relations with right now.
Speaker:If you're in that phase of deity or you're in that courtship, please seek out the Lord
Speaker:and ask God, is this the person that you should be with?
Speaker:Now you that are not believers, but you have an ideal about God or you have not accepted
Speaker:God as your Lord and Savior, but you want to, I would really encourage you to really
Speaker:seek out the Lord and ask Him.
Speaker:Because God, one thing I can tell you about the Lord, He is a faithful God.
Speaker:And He will let you know what truths are.
Speaker:But there's a flesh that is us, man, humankind, that we want to do everything according to
Speaker:how we want to do everything. So in courtship, you're courting that person.
Speaker:You're courting them to the next level, to the next place that God has you to go
Speaker:to with that person. Listen to what the Holy Spirit tells you.
Speaker:And to really listen. I believe and I feel very strongly that people rush into things.
Speaker:We are in a society that is very impatient.
Speaker:We want everything microwaved.
Speaker:30 seconds, here we go. Fast foods, go ahead. We want this. This is how we want this relationship.
Speaker:I wanna marry this person.
Speaker:I wanna have kids with this person. I wanna live with this person.
Speaker:And I don't care if this person has this problem.
Speaker:You better care because guess what? It's gonna affect your life.
Speaker:And then you're gonna turn around and say, why did God let me marry that person?
Speaker:Why did God doesn't stop this?
Speaker:Let me tell you something.
Speaker:God did try to stop you. The one thing that God will not do is go against your will.
Speaker:We have a will to do right or to do wrong.
Speaker:There is so many times that God has spoken to me about things and sometimes I'm right on
Speaker:and sometimes I miss it.
Speaker:And then I wanna go back and I want God to clean up the mess.
Speaker:When it wasn't his fault at all, God always gives each and every one of us on this planet.
Speaker:An opportunity to make decisions,
Speaker:whether they're his decisions or if they're our decisions.
Speaker:God will put a roadblock, but it won't be a roadblock that will stop you,
Speaker:but it's a roadblock that you can see because God can't make you do what he wants you to do.
Speaker:I remember there's a woman that was talking to me and she's a Christian woman.
Speaker:I haven't talked to her for a long time.
Speaker:And we were talking about relationships.
Speaker:And she was telling me that one of the gentlemen that she was dating, she had relations with him.
Speaker:And this man's a Christian and she was a Christian. And she said to me, and I found this really odd,
Speaker:it like blew me away, like I had to step back and say, wait a minute, you and I are talking about God, right?
Speaker:I'm talking about the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the true God of Israel.
Speaker:So she said to me that, you know, I need to have sex. I need it and I'm looking at her like and I'm just like okay.
Speaker:Not okay that it's okay for her to do that, but I'm like, okay, I'm hearing you. And she said,
Speaker:because God knows that that's what I need. And I'm thinking to myself, God does not give us.
Speaker:The approval to have sex outside of marriage. And that is if you're a Christian.
Speaker:Now, those that don't know the Lord, you're doing whatever you want to do.
Speaker:But once you become a Christian and you come into God's kingdom, then there's a place where,
Speaker:you will have to go by what God is telling you to do.
Speaker:You're signing up saying, you know what, Lord, I want to follow you.
Speaker:Well then there's things that you're going to have to follow just like the disciples.
Speaker:They had to leave their families and they made decisions to follow God. There wasn't time to
Speaker:say, well you know what Lord let me let me go over here and pray about this. It was like
Speaker:you're a friend of the master. Yes, pick up your stuff and walk with me and that's what they did.
Speaker:So I'm here to tell you to listen to the things of God and to trust Him in everything that you do. And it's very important, it's a compassion for me to,
Speaker:get this out to people about relationships because God was speaking to me three years ago and said, Kim I need you to go back to the biblical
Speaker:principles about what relationships and what marriage is all about. And he said,
Speaker:I need you to tell people that this is how it's supposed to be. You're supposed
Speaker:to honor God with your relationships. You honor God in the things that you do. You,
Speaker:honor God and you go and you share the gospel with everybody else. And this idea
Speaker:that God doesn't want you to have fun, that's not the truth.
Speaker:I have so much fun as a Christian and I live life as God has called me to live life.
Speaker:And I would not take my best day and trade it for my worst day as a Christian
Speaker:to go back into the world and do the things that the world is doing
Speaker:because we are living in a world that doesn't care anymore.
Speaker:And we as the body of Christ, We need to come together and start doing life
Speaker:the way God has called it.
Speaker:And the most important thing that's being attacked today is family, marriages.
Speaker:Satan wants to divide the family and he wants to destroy the family
Speaker:because we are stronger as a unit, as in unity.
Speaker:So my compassion and my assignment is to tell people about relationships and about marriage
Speaker:and what God has called it to be
Speaker:and for you to trust him in everything that you do.
Speaker:You gotta trust him. Go back and read the word.
Speaker:I guarantee you, if you say, Lord, I really wanna know about you,
Speaker:I wanna know what you're about and show me, God will show you.
Speaker:It's not a dictationship, it's not a slavery mentality, sorry, it's about God showing you the truth about Him.
Speaker:And about what relationships are all about. So today, I hope you learned about courtship.
Speaker:Courtship is totally different from dating. Courtship is more serious.
Speaker:Courtship is about a romantic relationship.
Speaker:That you are going toward marriage and what God called it to being.
Speaker:As with dating, you're being introduced to that person and you're learning about that person
Speaker:and about his and her behaviors.
Speaker:And I'm gonna tell you something, one thing that you all should learn
Speaker:is you need to find out about people's behaviors
Speaker:because that's where the problems start lying, is the behaviors of people.
Speaker:So I enjoyed our talk today and what God was having me to share with all of you.
Speaker:And I would like to end with a prayer,
Speaker:to minister to all of you and to ask you for those who don't know God to come into knowing the Lord.
Speaker:So Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for those who don't know you.
Speaker:And I pray that this message has really ministered to them about who you are
Speaker:and the importance of courtship.
Speaker:And those who have been on the back burner that have been living a carnal life,
Speaker:I pray that, Lord, you would bring them back into the relationship with you.
Speaker:I pray that, Lord Jesus, that these people would know who you are as the Lord and Savior,
Speaker:and that they would know that you are a good God and a loving God.
Speaker:I want you all to know that God loves you.
Speaker:Check us out on Proverbs31women.com. That is a Christian dating website
Speaker:and it's a community to bring men and women together
Speaker:to learn about the biblical principles.
Speaker:If you wanna find your mate, check it out.
