It's time for Last Time On, the podcast for everyone who wants to watch all of that prestige television, but who has time for that? Our hosts don't, so they take the randomized highway down your favorite shows they haven't seen, and try to guess what happened Last Time On!

Join us as Ben, Victor, and Xhafer jump to a planet they just called on teams instead of asking if it was cool if they called in a message first. Ben reminds us that a big enough boom will beat math, Victor has a tough time at the doctor, and Xhafer only trusts 90% of dentists.

Hello, and welcome to last time on this is the podcast for people who want

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to watch all of this prestige television,

but who's got time for all of this.

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Ben: You know I don't.

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Victor: Time is an illusion

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Xhafer: I'm Jafar

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Ben: I'm Ben.

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Okay.

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Victor: Victor

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Xhafer: and we're talking Stargate SG one.

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Victor: and we are the Goon Squad.

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Yeah.

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Whoo.

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Goon Squad.

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Xhafer: We are, this is episode five.

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We're, we're watching it's season

three, episode 19 new ground, but

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before we get to that in what has

become a weird tradition for me and

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podcasting sci fi TV shows, there are

rumors of a reboot happening soon.

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Victor: Yes, I was,

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Ben: I, I, I'm taking

full credit for this.

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This is, this is because of us.

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Victor: Yeah.

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I've been meaning to bring this up when

I was doing research before our first

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episode of of last time on I've came

across something from Deadline Hollywood

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saying that Stargate is in the works for

a reboot, and this was pretty recent.

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Let me pull that up, I think

it was earlier this year.

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Um, it's, there's no details

on it, but yeah, Deadline

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Hollywood dated April 14th, 2023.

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Um, it basically says that due to the

fact that Amazon spent eight and a

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half billion dollars acquiring MGM,

Uh, that they're in the works of

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rebooting pretty much all of MGM's IPs.

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Which, I mean, makes sense.

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If they spend that much money acquiring

MGM, they're going to want to make

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some money off their purchase.

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Uh, so it just says Stargate.

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It doesn't say specifically SG 1.

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But among the titles listed there, they

specifically listed Stargate along with

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Robocop, Legally Blonde, and Barbershop.

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Ha ha, that are in development.

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Uh, it doesn't say if it's going

to be more movies, or if it's

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going to be a TV series, or what.

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But Stargate Something is

currently in development right

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now over at Amazon Studios.

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So, I thought it might

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Ben: if anything comes of it.

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Victor: yeah.

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Well, I mean, it makes sense

logically that they would.

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I mean, you don't spend that much

money and just let it sit on a shelf.

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So, they got to do something with it.

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I don't care if it's a

video game or whatever.

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You know, just do I'm

looking forward to it.

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But, uh, anyway, I thought it might

be fun to do kind of like what, uh,

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what you guys do on the Who Are You

podcast and do a little fan casting.

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Like, who do you think would

be ideal in the reboot?

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Let's just say they're doing SG 1.

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Who, uh, like, let's go around

the table and who would you pick?

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Who would you, who is your actor

for, uh, the new Colonel O'Neil?

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Jaffer?

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Xhafer: uh, this is so easy.

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is like, uh, Listener, this, this idea

was pitched to Ben and I maybe 10 minutes

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ago and both Ben and I immediately

were like, I have the perfect recast.

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I'm curious to know if

it's the same person.

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We'll see.

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It'd be really funny if it is,

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Ben: I, I'm, I'm kind of worried

that you sniped out my same thing.

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Ooooooh.

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Xhafer: uh, cause if I'm going

to recast Colonel O'Neill,

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I need someone who can do.

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a bit of a prankster, but still

be a serious military person.

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Victor: Hmm.

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Xhafer: And there is

someone who comes to mind.

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Very vividly when I think of that

specifically in a sci fi setting

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and it's Katie Sackhoff is,

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Victor: Ooh.

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That's a, that's a controversial choice.

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I mean, it's not, but, but it

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Xhafer: Katie Sackhoff get canceled?

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I don't know.

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I don't

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Victor: No, no, I

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Xhafer: I'm terrible at celebrity.

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Victor: it'll piss

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Ben: No, you're making it woke now.

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O'Neil's a man.

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Victor: There, there, there will

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Ben: ever named O'Neil

has been a man forever.

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Victor: There will be so many YouTube

videos by angry basement dwellers.

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Ben: My new office is upstairs.

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I'm not a basement dweller anymore.

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There's a window.

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Victor: Score.

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Xhafer: Uh, yeah, no, I think

Katie Sackhoff's a great choice.

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Victor: That is a good choice.

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Xhafer: I'm not too concerned about

the gender change, mostly because in

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our limited experience with O'Neill,

I don't think there's anything

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distinctly male about his character.

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Uh, I mean, that's the only time

I ever worry about that stuff.

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Like if you, if a character is not

distinctly male or distinctly female,

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like there it's not, there's nothing

crucial to their story that involves

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their gender, then why does it matter

what gender they are in a recast?

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It doesn't.

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Uh, so

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Ben: can be sad that her son died.

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Xhafer: yeah.

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Ben: Replaces him with a weird alien kid.

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Yeah

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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Victor: she could have a, she

could be just like Jack O'Neil.

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Jacqueline O'Neil.

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Ooh,

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Xhafer: yeah, that's it.

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Got

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Victor: And she could, she could

have a, she could have a spouse.

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She could have a wife

that we never hear from.

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We mentioned once and

then never see again.

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Xhafer: Yeah, I'm here for it.

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Victor: That'd be awesome.

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Xhafer: So, Ben, was that your pick?

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Ben: no

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Xhafer: Fantastic!

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Ha

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Ben: you see and this is I actually I

was worried about this And I actually

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have I I had a backup pick in case you

picked my pick because Uh, as Ja'far

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knows from our previous podcast, Draft

the Universe, where we would pick five

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things from a random topic, I would

always have a list of 15 things in case

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every one of, like, every one of my two

other co hosts choices were on my list.

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Victor: Ben, you're the kind of guy

who overpacks on a trip, don't you?

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Ben: oh, absolutely.

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Uh, I'm gonna be there for, for

three days while I need to have

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at least seven pairs of socks.

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Uh So, the thing we need

for our Colonel O'Neil.

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Maybe, maybe we've got somebody

who's, you know, resourceful.

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Somebody you can count on, that

if they end up on an alien planet,

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without a whole lot of resources,

they can still get the job done.

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need a MacGyver.

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Victor: Oh

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Ben: So Lucas Till is my pick.

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Victor: Is that the new MacGyver?

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Ben: That is the new MacGyver,

which, if you didn't know,

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Victor: fuck.

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I love it.

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Ben: there was a new MacGyver,

there was a new MacGyver show.

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It ran for almost a hundred episodes.

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Victor: No way.

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Ben: Yeah, so, I

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Xhafer: more than the original MacGyver?

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Ben: I don't

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Victor: No, I don't think so.

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I think that thing went on forever.

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Yeah.

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Xhafer: a huge MacGyver fan.

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And I remember she had, she recorded

VHSs of, she had a record, like a

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hand recorded VHS of every episode.

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She took meticulous notes.

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On every episode of MacGyver,

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Victor: Oh, that is hardcore.

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Xhafer: filled with like

plot stuff and everything.

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Yeah.

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Ben: original MacGyver

went for 139 episodes.

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So, all, like, about

an extra season or so.

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Xhafer: Okay.

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Ben: not bad, yeah.

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The thing about, uh, Luke is

still a little too young to

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be our actual Colonel O'Neil.

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but, it would be a fun choice.

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I thought it would be, an inspired pick.

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If I'm going for who I actually,

like, in my mind thinking, Alright,

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who can play grizzled, you know,

I've seen things military veteran,

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but also can crack a joke, can, uh,

get down with the goofy, Eric Bana.

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Victor: That would be, that would be good.

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Ben: Yeah, uh,

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Victor: him as, um, as a Romulan.

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Ben: he was, he was great, uh, in

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like, really, like, he's in one of my

favorite war films, Black Hawk Down,

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uh, but then I've also, I've also seen

him in things like Funny People, uh,

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where he's actually really, really

funny in a movie that's not very funny.

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But that's not the point.

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It's, it's, it's a movie

about funny people.

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It is not a funny movie.

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It's a, I love that movie.

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Uh, as, as somebody who did stand up

for a while, I'm just like, oh yeah,

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I know this, like, we're all cracking

jokes because we're dead inside.

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Uh, yeah, so I think Eric Bana,

right about in that right age range,

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Xhafer: Mm hmm.

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Ben: handle it.

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Victor: See, this is how I know I'm in

the presence of podcasting professionals.

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Because you guys, I mean,

yeah, I gave you guys like 10

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minutes notice about this idea.

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And you, you fucking just, wow.

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You milked it in that time.

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I got nothing.

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I just say Oscar Isaac over here.

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That's all I got.

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Xhafer: I mean, I'd watch Oscar Isaac do.

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Well, I have to say almost anything

because I didn't finish Moon Knight, but

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Victor: that, I couldn't finish it either.

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It was kind of boring,

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Ben: Oh, I loved it.

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I, I finished it.

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Yeah.

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Victor: Yeah, but yeah, uh,

wow, I, hmm, how do I follow up?

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Heh heh heh.

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Uh, I, I just

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Xhafer: with a segue.

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Victor: yeah.

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Well, no, I just think

he's got excellent range.

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, he was in, , uh, I think

it's called Ex Machina?

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I think that was the name of it?

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And he played a VERY different character

from, Poe Dameron or, uh, not Duncan

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Idaho, fuckin Dune guy, Leo Atreides, and

he's, man, he's just got such good range.

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And plus, I, I think it was such

a, such a crime, you know, spoiler

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alert for Dune, that, you know, he

dies in the, in the first movie.

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Like, I would have loved to seen

more of Oscar Isaac on screen.

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I don't know, maybe they'll

do something different

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Xhafer: I think you will.

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If I'm remembering.

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I believe there's some flashbacky stuff.

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Victor: Yeah, it'll be flashbacks if they

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Ben: I was

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Xhafer: that we're coming up on

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Ben: somebody else, I won't

spoil it, somebody in the Dune

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universe, gets cloned a lot.

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Spoilers.

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Ben: Um, but it's not him.

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I

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Victor: Yeah, you don't, yeah, if

you're a movie studio, you don't pay

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the money to have that guy and just

have to have him die in the first, you

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know, first half of your story arc.

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Xhafer: yeah, he's no true.

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Barrymore.

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Ben: you do.

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Hey, I only, we only have to pay

you to be out of here for two weeks.

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Okay, great.

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Victor: Or if you can only

afford, um, uh, James Earl

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Jones voice, not his actual face

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Ben: we're gonna transition to this, to

talk about the episode, because I'm mad.

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gonna get my first, we're gonna get

my first gator hater point here.

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Xhafer: Oh, we can do that.

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Ben: I'm doing it!

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Victor: He's doing it.

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Ben: Okay, this, what

is this episode called?

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Victor: Uh, new ground, right?

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Yeah, new

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Ben: No, Higher Ground.

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This episode is called Higher Ground.

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And we open in Media Dig.

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are literally in a hole.

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And part of the episode, they

dig deeper into the hole.

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And find more stuff down.

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We literally go lower as

the episode continues.

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Victor: it's, it's, it's

actually called New Ground.

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I'm looking at

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Xhafer: It's new ground.

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Yeah,

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Ben: Oh, you said higher

ground when I wrote it down.

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God, okay, well now I'm

incredulous for nothing.

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will die on any hill.

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Victor: Well, I mean, I guess it

works because in order to have

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new ground, you're not going to

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Ben: Yeah, they dug it out and

now they're finding new ground.

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Okay,

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Victor: okay.

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Ben: I guess it's alright.

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Xhafer: No, it's old ground.

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It's distinctly old ground.

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That's why there's old stuff in it.

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Victor: yeah, that's old ground.

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So if you want new ground, you got

to put it on top of the old ground.

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So it technically

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Xhafer: get some topsoil, lay

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Victor: Your rage is justified,

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Xhafer: raised bed.

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All right, we got season

three, episode 19, new ground.

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This is our fifth or sixth episode

of Stargate that we've watched.

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If you're tuning in for the first time.

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Bless your heart.

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Uh, we are a podcast that picks a

show that none of us have ever seen.

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Watch the pilot, roll some dice, skip

a ton of episodes, watch that next one,

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and try to guess what happened in the

previous episodes while watching the

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one that we've mysteriously landed upon.

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Uh, we play a couple of games with this.

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We have our last times on where our

host will explain things that happened.

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They feel in a previous episode, we have

our wahapa hers, which are a offensive.

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Last time on where a host will force

another host to explain things.

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And then we have our,

let's get weird with it.

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We're all hosts have to make a off

the cuff, most ridiculous suggestion.

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They can think of to explain something.

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We open on some humans unearthing

a Stargate and we find SG1

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is getting their first hit.

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On the cold dialing program,

which was mentioned in the pilot.

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Victor: it was, wasn't it?

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Yeah,

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Ben: it's taken three years.

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Victor: Yeah.

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Ben: makes me really mad.

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Because it means that,.

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Major Carter invented the robo dialer.

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Howdy de Greetings, friend.

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Dang!

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Ben: She is why I'm getting all these

awful texts, uh, trying to sign me up

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for Medicaid, and telling me about,

uh, my car's extended warranty.

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Victor: God, you get texts, they won't

stop with the phone calls with me, and

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I got a robot voice if I pick it up.

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It's the worst, and they

always leave messages.

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I get like six per day.

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Ah!

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Damn you, Carter!

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Ben: thank you, Major Carter.

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Jerk.

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Heh heh heh heh heh.

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Should've joined NASA.

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Xhafer: the stargate opens and they send

the robot through, uh, and they talk to

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Victor: Fred's back!

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Ben: No, cause this isn't Fred.

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Victor: That's Fred, man.

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That

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Xhafer: it or something.

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Victor: No, it's a Malp, but Fred is

a Malp, but Malp, Fred got an upgrade.

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That's what I'm going with.

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That's what happened.

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That's what happened to

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Ben: I'm gonna go last time on.

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Fred got blown up.

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Victor: No, he didn't!

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No!

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No, you will not Kowalski Fred!

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Xhafer: last time on, not only did

Fred get blown up, Fred heroically

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sacrificed himself with a tactical nuke.

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Victor: Oh, I can, I can get behind that.

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Oh, was, was Fred the one that

blew up Apophis's pyramid ship?

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I can get down with

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Xhafer: yeah.

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Heh

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Ben: Fred, Fred is the one who

saved our, our, our crew, uh,

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from the season two finale.

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Uh, Teal'c and Fred saved the day.

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Heh heh heh heh heh.

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Victor: God.

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That would be

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Ben: they send our new, new Fred,

what's, uh, what do they call it?

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I'm,

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Victor: It's, call it a

malt, I think it's me, me.

342

Mechanical appliance, uh, laundry

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Ben: heh heh heh.

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They end up talking to these,

archaeologists who dug out the gate.

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We've got, Nian, who's, sideburns.

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He's mostly sideburns.

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And, his, , lady archaeologist

companion, uh, Malon.

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And they just send the robot through

and just like, Hey, how's it going?

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Uh,

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Victor: Which by the way, in the opening,

there were three of them originally.

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Ben: yeah, and one of

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Victor: There was a third person

there that just disappeared.

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I'm wondering if, what the hell.

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I want to know what happened

to the third person.

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Xhafer: They say to avoid

the bloom of the Stargate.

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duck, dip, dive, and dodge.

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Victor: That's what I

thought originally happened,

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Xhafer: Maybe they got bloomed?

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I don't know if that's a

thing that eats people.

360

I assume that's what happens.

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Victor: can't be good if you stand in

that, in the path of that thing, so

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Xhafer: nyan is talking, but

he's like, Oh, the legends must

363

be true of the ancients and, our

people coming from other worlds.

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Oh, no.

365

And we hear about the war between the

Bedrosians, who are now definitively

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proven wrong and the Atrakans who

are now definitively proven right.

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Victor: The optometrists.

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Yeah.

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Ben: Ophthalmologists are

their, are their leaders.

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, Malon is like, Oh hell no,

and she just runs away.

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Victor: Yeah, she, she narcs.

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Dude, what the hell, dude?

373

Malin is a snitch.

374

That's her, that's her role

in this entire episode.

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Xhafer: the Bedrosians arrive and they are

significantly more advanced than expected.

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Victor: And, yeah, I thought it was

interesting that Malon runs off, right,

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Xhafer: Mm hmm.

378

Victor: I, I just have to say for

the record here, she must be the

379

Bedrosian, uh, track and field cross

country star because she ran, it was

380

what, like, like three minutes in

between the time that, uh, that she

381

ran off and then they come back and

reinforcements and fucking hovercraft.

382

They have to fly over, like,

how far did she run that

383

Ben: Oh, yeah.

384

Victor: they have to come back

in, in fucking spaceships?

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Xhafer: and they land and

they've got these guns.

386

If Trek has dustbusters,

these are Dyson textile irons.

387

These

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Ben: Oh, yeah, they look like irons.

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Xhafer: heh heh heh.

390

Ben: Uh, one thing I did appreciate

in this episode, that it is something

391

that has always bugged me about a

lot of sci fi, Trek in particular.

392

Nyan's, the sideburns archaeologist starts

explaining like, Okay, so, You being

393

here is weird, because you've not only

proved I'm on the wrong side of a war,

394

but also, my god might not exist, uh, uh,

and I'm trying to roll with that as best

395

as I can, but it's also kind of like,

hitting me deep, uh, but you are here on

396

the continent of Bedrosia, where we think

we came from, and that's why we're the

397

Bedrosians, and I'm just like, hey, You If

this was Star Trek, they would have just

398

called it, The Southeastern Continent.

399

Like, they actually named

the continent like people do.

400

Heh heh heh heh heh.

401

Heh

402

Victor: Yeah, every, every planet, uh, is

just unified in most sci fi things, which

403

is just, I feel, is very unrealistic.

404

Xhafer: Yeah,

405

Victor: Mm

406

Xhafer: we cut over to Teal'c stalking

in some brush and I paused here like as

407

soon as we see him and we see him watch

the dude I pause because I'm so excited.

408

I'm all like, are we going to get

reverse predator episode with Teal'c

409

You're bleeding, man.

410

I ain't got time to bleed.

411

Victor: That would have been, that

would have been such a good episode.

412

Xhafer: bitches.

413

This whole episode just taking

people out from the brush and

414

just from his perspective.

415

Oh, this is going to be so good.

416

I'm so excited for this.

417

I unpause and he gets got immediately.

418

Victor: It shot right in the face.

419

Ben: Yeah, Teal shoots a guy and

it somehow blows up in his face.

420

Uh, and he is down.

421

Just some nasty burns like,

dead center in his face.

422

Xhafer: Yeah, he simos

423

Ben: and the rest of our, and the rest

of our SG 1 crew are captured, with,

424

containment walls and knocked out.

425

And Malon shows up and

he's like, She, see?

426

Those are the guys.

427

And they're like, go back to base.

428

You're not in this episode anymore.

429

Heh heh heh heh.

430

Xhafer: The Bedrosian leader won't

let them fire up the Stargate.

431

He believes them to

either be full of shit.

432

Or refuses to let anyone believe

about the Stargate he sets up

433

quarantine, whether or not he actually

thinks this is, he believes them.

434

It's kind of ambiguous.

435

He definitely doesn't want to believe them

436

Victor: Yeah, I, this episode deals with,

by the end of it, I liked it, but at first

437

I did not like it because it deals with

what I hate most about humanity and that

438

is the human nature to refuse to be wrong.

439

Like even when you have definitive

proof in front of you, it's a

440

typical human nature to just be,

um, what's the word I'm looking for?

441

More and more.

442

Xhafer: obstinate.

443

Victor: Those are both great words.

444

Yeah, probably better than what I

was thinking of just to be Stubbornly

445

Ben: A jerk.

446

Victor: just and yeah, and just be a

dick and just dig in even though you know

447

You're wrong You guys are on Facebook you

run into this shit all the time people

448

who are fucking wrong and you prove them

wrong and they Refuse to be wrong and

449

they just drop and that's what this entire

episode is about on top of a religious

450

thing Which makes it even worse for me?

451

Ah So irritated

452

Ben: And I'm sorry to go to this well

again, uh, but as a religion major,

453

the one thing I did feel about this

was just like, man, you just happened

454

to have a civil war with two religions

where there is like something you can

455

absolutely non metaphysically prove,

like, hey, we found a space travel gate,

456

uh, or we can find like existence of

like, Hey, here's 3, 000 year old bones.

457

Boom!

458

I proved we existed here more than 2, 000

years ago, um, and therefore I am right.

459

Victor: of worms.

460

Ben: Yeah, it's, it's not like, , you

know, I can walk around and be like, Hey,

461

I've, I've, I've found, uh, you know,

this flying spaghetti monster over here.

462

And so it is, uh, it was definitely

like, I understood what the writers were

463

going for, but I was also, it's, it's a

little writerly convenient to be, Hey,

464

we just happen to have a religion fragile

enough that you finding a Stargate would

465

like, completely destroy everything.

466

Victor: hmm.

467

Yeah.

468

Yeah.

469

Xhafer: Yeah.

470

So the Bedrosian military here resumes

digging as we find out that, uh.

471

Teal'c is alive, he's

just very badly burned.

472

Victor: Before we get to that,

though, they, they take some blood

473

samples from, from all three of

474

Xhafer: Yes, that'll, yeah,

that'll come up in a minute, uh,

475

Ben: is also one of those funny things

about, about, , Stargate is that humans

476

are like the cockroaches of the galaxy.

477

We are just everywhere.

478

Um, and so they take this as

proof as like, you guys are human.

479

So you must be, uh, if you're

not, uh, Bedrosian, you must be

480

optricians trying to trick us.

481

Uh, you can't be from a different planet.

482

And so it's one of those things

where it's with the technology

483

we see these people have they are

probably a hundred years from being

484

out there in space and being like.

485

Aw, man, humans are freakin everywhere.

486

Heh heh heh heh.

487

Xhafer: yeah,

488

Victor: uh, before, before we do move

on, though, one thing I wanted to address

489

is like, it's one of the very first

thing, uh, Daniel Jackson, before they

490

go through the gate, Daniel Jackson

wants to volunteer to go through.

491

And Colonel O'Neill is kind of like,

uh, Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up.

492

We don't see a DHD.

493

And they, they scan the robot around and

they're like, does anybody see a DHD?

494

So, what I want to ask is,

Ben, what happened here?

495

What the hell happened?

496

But I got the band!

497

Victor: What's a DHD?

498

Ben: We know what a DHD is.

499

I don't know what the acronym stands for.

500

It is the panel.

501

Uh,

502

Victor: Give it an acronym.

503

What's the

504

Ben: okay, so the acronym is,

uh, It is the Dial Home Dialer.

505

O'Neal came up with it just to piss

Dan Jackson and, uh, Major Carter off.

506

Uh, um, just use the dial

home dialer and it just stuck.

507

Victor: That's probably

just exactly it too.

508

Ben: It feels, it feels right.

509

It's like, is that the name?

510

Like Hammond is back there.

511

Like, is that the name

you're going to call it?

512

And he's like, Yes it is.

513

Yes it is General.

514

Heh heh heh heh

515

Victor: Well, what the hell?

516

Ben: heh heh Heh.

517

Dammit Bobby!

518

Heh heh heh heh heh heh.

519

Victor: But, but he also tells

them to, uh, just in case, bring

520

a Naquda reactor with them.

521

Xhafer: yeah, that's got to be a gift

from someone, maybe the turtle people from

522

a couple episodes ago, or the talk raw,

523

Victor: The, uh, what was it?

524

I want, I hope it was the,

the, the furlings that was,

525

Ben: haven't met the furlings yet.

526

Heh

527

Victor: Yeah.

528

I hope it's them

529

Xhafer: they

530

Victor: I hope they're furry.

531

I hope they're little Ewoks.

532

Anyway, sorry about that.

533

I wrote that down but uh, yeah,

534

Ben: I wrote it down as

well, so good calling it out.

535

Victor: Alright!

536

Xhafer: So the DNA gets analyzed and they

do say that they're a 97 percent match.

537

Yeah.

538

Victor: they've got artificial gravity,

they've got force fields, they've got

539

magic iron sticks that shoot lightning

bolts, but the only way that they have

540

a, they can take blood is uh, with the

big fucking needle jammed in your neck.

541

That's how I feel about modern technology.

542

Whenever I have to go to the doctor and

I get a prostate exam, it's like, wow,

543

really with all the technology we have

in the world today, the only way that

544

you have to check that is by doing that.

545

Ben: yeah this

546

Victor: really necessary?

547

Ben: This feels more amateur

state than pro state.

548

Victor: There's your TMI for the episode.

549

Or

550

Ben: we find out that the Bedrosians,

Uh, they believe in, uh, Nephritim.

551

Uh, And,

552

Victor: was it the blue lotus

553

Ben: Yeah, and Dan Jackson's just

like Like, yeah, we know that.

554

It's Egyptian mythology.

555

And I'm like, Ooh, we're

back to Egyptian mythology.

556

Yay.

557

Uh, sorry.

558

Uh, sorry.

559

Jaffer in your hopes that we end up on,

you know, any other pantheon planet.

560

Um,

561

Victor: or Yeah.

562

Ben: it's not, it's not like, Oh

man, uh, Maui said we came from here.

563

What can I say except, you're welcome

564

Ben: and it's like, hey,

we're expanding our horizons.

565

Xhafer: While they're talking, uh,

the commander presses the issue.

566

The truth is that they are right,

regardless of anything else.

567

Current plan, kill them all!

568

Ben: Make him confess

or just blow it all up.

569

Uh, and we also cut back

to, uh, Nian and Teal'c.

570

And Teal'c is just like,

we must go rescue them.

571

And he's like, you're blind, dude.

572

Uh, yeah, we find out that,

573

Victor: the uh, Sorry, I was gonna

say apparently the, the, Bedrosian

574

weapons are, are powered by Pink Eye.

575

Cause that's what he did.

576

Xhafer: that's, Pink Eye's a bad time.

577

You don't want Pink Eye.

578

Ben: Well,

579

because the thing is, you saw

how pointy, like, the ends of

580

their weapons look like irons.

581

You know, you just reach back there,

do a little bit of scratch, and

582

then, oh, no, you're given pink eye.

583

It's doing poison damage.

584

Victor: Oh, gross.

585

That's what happened.

586

The goon didn't didn't wash his

weapon after shooting, before he

587

shot Teal in the face with it.

588

Yeah,

589

Ben: appreciate, like,

Teal'c is a cool badass.

590

He is not a cool badass on the level

of, like, some other sci fi aliens

591

where it's just like, Even without

my eyes, I can take on twelve guards.

592

Um, I am just so much

cooler and so much better.

593

And it's like, why, why do we

need the human characters at all?

594

Teal'c is ready to go in, but he

could not actually take out these,

595

twenty goons and save his friends.

596

And so Nian is absolutely right, like,

Dude, just chill out for a minute.

597

I can go get some, stuff to help you.

598

, and, he goes to, to try and get some

supplies, and Teal knocks himself out

599

running into a wall during a bat attack.

600

Victor: what was the point of those bats?

601

Like, that's, like, I wrote

that down as like, why, why, why

602

are there bats in this episode?

603

Hahaha.

604

Xhafer: They're not even bats.

605

They're like little dragons.

606

If you look at them.

607

Victor: Yeah.

608

Ben: I can tell you, this is

Teal'c's origin story, for when he

609

becomes Dragon Man, and he becomes

610

Victor: dragon man.

611

Ben: he becomes the terror

that flaps in the night,

612

call the cops Darkwing

Duck Let's get dangerous

613

,

Ben: coming after all of the ghouls.

614

Victor: Oh, that's, oh man,

that would have been awesome.

615

He emerges from the, from the

bat cave, you know, with a, with

616

a costume and rescues the team.

617

And yeah, it goes on to

fight crime back on Earth.

618

Xhafer: Yeah.

619

Before Nyan leaves, he's really

sure that he can convince his fellow

620

academics that they were wrong here.

621

1 in dentists, doesn't

approve of toothpaste, right?

622

Like, is Nyan the 9 or the 1?

623

That's, whenever I hear a single

scientist make a claim, that's

624

the question I always ask myself.

625

Ben: see, my thought here is, and

I think I'm with Nian on this one,

626

where, okay, O'Neal, Carter, Danjacks,

the Stargate itself, There are always

627

going to be people who are like,

The Stargate was an inside job.

628

Uh,

629

Xhafer: Mm hmm

630

Ben: Uh, Uh, this isn't real.

631

Teal'c is an alien.

632

Uh, yes.

633

He is, he is, by every metric, not human.

634

He's got a belly pouch.

635

Uh, Um, and so, Uh, for plenty

636

Victor: the Golden Funnel Cake on his

forehead that shows he's an alien.

637

Yup.

638

Ben: Yeah, for plenty of people, they

could rationalize a way to say like,

639

Hey, the Optricans, they believe this?

640

They have gone to extreme

lengths to prove it.

641

Okay, here's an alien.

642

Um, you know what, now, now I,

I see that I'm like taking 12

643

steps when one step will do.

644

even if, uh, even if not everybody

believes, there will be enough people

645

who are just like, Okay, alien.

646

Uh, that it'll have a conversation.

647

Xhafer: Yeah,

648

Victor: I'm trying to think of something

like that, what would be a good metaphor.

649

What would be a deeply held belief of

mine that would shatter I guess if I

650

went to space and I actually saw the

Earth was flat, I'd be really pissed.

651

And be like, No!

652

No!

653

Xhafer: I mean

654

Ben: this giant ice wall?

655

Victor: Yeah.

656

The assholes were right!

657

Xhafer: How was science this wrong?

658

Victor: Yeah.

659

Yeah.

660

Xhafer: math?

661

And the answer is a

shit ton of rocket fuel

662

Ben: Yes, big enough boom beats math.

663

Heh heh heh.

664

Uh, we get back to

665

Xhafer: and they are in some real eyes

wide shut level kink kennels here.

666

Ben: Yes, they are they are

in like, legit dog kennels.

667

And,

668

Victor: dog kennels at sea, it

669

Ben: this actually makes me kind of mad.

670

Uh, because, The bad guy leader

is trying to interrogate them.

671

And, every time O'Neal is an asshole, he

shocks Dan Jackson, and O'Neal keeps doing

672

it, and he keeps shocking, , Dan Jackson,

and it's just like, O'Neal, stop it, man!

673

Xhafer: He don't give a fuck,

he's not getting shocked.

674

!

Call an ambulance!

675

But not for me!

676

Victor: Oh man.

677

Ben: He's like, you're, come on!

678

But yeah, he's trying to get them

to confess, and then, uh, finds

679

out that, just as he's about

to like, Start murdering them?

680

Hey!

681

Sir!

682

Come outside right now!

683

We found something!

684

And we found our, uh, our DHD.

685

Our dial home dialer.

686

Victor: Which, okay, this was a problem

for me in, in this episode because they

687

said that, uh, oh, they were digging here.

688

See what they were digging for?

689

Who was digging?

690

I think this was a but

they weren't digging there.

691

They were digging out the

gate from the wall.

692

That's what, yeah.

693

That's gotta be the thing.

694

I

695

Ben: a mound,

696

Xhafer: there was a little bit

where they had found the mound.

697

Yeah.

698

Ben: yeah, so there was a little

mound, uh, that prior to the excavation

699

had, had some, had some foliage.

700

He, he was on this, this grassy knoll.

701

Uh, and, uh, this is part of my

Optrican, uh, conspiracy theory.

702

Um, there was the third archaeologist

on the grassy knoll finding the DHT,

703

Xhafer: You know, thinking about it,

Ben, I think you are 75, 80 percent

704

right with the name of the DHD.

705

Although I

706

Ben: the dial home dialer.

707

Xhafer: I think it's dial home, Daniel.

708

Victor: Home Daniel!

709

Xhafer: I think, I think O'Neil said that

off the cuff, like dial home, Daniel.

710

And it just became the DHD

711

Victor: I love

712

Xhafer: always says that.

713

Victor: dial

714

Xhafer: dial his home, Daniel.

715

He says it every time.

716

So,

717

Victor: It's the dial home Daniel.

718

It's the, the Daniel home dialer.

719

Xhafer: uh,

720

Victor: Daniel home dialer.

721

That's what it is.

722

Yep.

723

DHD.

724

Perfect.

725

Xhafer: uh, Tealk has

a real rough go here.

726

Ben: Colonel O'Neal.

727

Xhafer: They keep, the military guys

keep looking at this pile of guns on

728

the table and never do anything with it.

729

And I was really hoping we'd

get some cracks about that

730

archaic rock throwing technology.

731

Victor: I was just going to say, they

seem to, I mean, practically, uh,

732

earth guns seem to work better than

most of the alien weapons we've, we've

733

run into so far with the exception

of that cool little snake phaser.

734

That, that thing's pretty fucking cool.

735

Uh, yeah, the sticks, like as soon

as, as soon as the Bedrosian showed

736

up and they have their own version

of the Jaffa sticks, I was just

737

like, how is it that every alien race

comes to the same conclusion that.

738

Xhafer: That lasers are cool?

739

Victor: No, but they put them on the

740

Xhafer: are cool!

741

Victor: Yeah, they are cool, but

why do they put them on sticks?

742

Like, like holding sticks, like,

like the same thing the Jaffa use.

743

Ben: Well, and it makes me mad because,

well, the snake, uh, the snake pistols

744

have ruined my, my overall They're

still running around with guns,

745

and everybody else has laser guns!

746

Uh, so,

747

Xhafer: asking about Teal'c.

748

The team keeps deflecting to the

science behind how the Stargate

749

works, hoping this will convince.

750

And Daniel just can't help himself

but tell the Zealot how his god

751

isn't real, everything is a lie,

and how he's a big ol dum dum.

752

So he gets the iron for this.

753

Ben: yes he does.

754

Uh, but then our stargate opens and

Hammond is just like, Hey, everybody okay?

755

What's going on?

756

And our commander knows

how to use a human radio.

757

And it's just like, We

control your people now!

758

We will not fall for your op trickin

759

Xhafer: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I'm, I am not worried about him looking

760

at that device and knowing how it

works because that's a walkie talkie.

761

It has three buttons.

762

It has up, down and a hold button.

763

Victor: but you don't know how many

764

people don't know that you

have to let go of the button

765

to hear the other person talk.

766

Seriously, it.

767

This is a problem.

768

I don't like to drop this piece of trivia

a lot because I don't wanna be that guy.

769

But yeah, 20 years in the Army, I've

met plenty of fucking privates who don't

770

know to let go of the fucking button.

771

Ben: I would've I would've

accepted that, Ja'far.

772

I would I would've I would've

accepted this, Ja'far.

773

If there was a 30 second scene of

just Hammond listening to the squelch.

774

Uh, heh

775

Victor: Like there was no way

alien man knows to let go of the

776

button to let the other guy talk

that ah Anyway, that was a trigger.

777

I didn't realize I had His

778

Xhafer: Uh,

779

Ben: who was gonna be

the first to do that.

780

Nine laughs.

781

Xhafer: Nyan Cat catches Teal'c

with his pants down, with his gowld.

782

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

783

Victor: pouch fondling his worm And

the first thing he says was, Oh, I

784

didn't think you were coming back.

785

What the fuck was up with this?

786

Ben: so, apparently the his, his belly

worm is injured, and it has to heal itself

787

before it can heal him, and, uh, Nine is

like, How about some experimental surgery

788

with something made for different aliens?

789

Um, and Teal finally acquiesces.

790

And we get some, uh, eye lasers

791

But I am the leader of the X Men.

792

Oh, the leader, yeah, so great.

793

What, are you going to lead us

to the hospital after you Winked

794

at Rogue and took off her torso.

795

Xhafer: Mm

796

Victor: Yeah, the, the, uh,

the eye doctor in a box.

797

Ben: as somebody with

glasses, I would love

798

Xhafer: His vision does

start to return here.

799

Uh, Daniel refuses to give Teal'c

up as the Stargate chevrons lock in.

800

Uh, this is where General Hammered,

uh, tries reaching the team.

801

Uh, the Bedrosian commander responds.

802

Uh, they turn on the camera on the battle

bot and, uh, see the crew in cages.

803

Ben: this makes me so mad, because

like, they see the crew in cages,

804

and we see the, the, the, the, uh,

Dan Jackson's in there just like, No!

805

Stop it!

806

Stop it!

807

Stop what you're doing!

808

And Hammond's like, Move it around,

look around, pan over there,

809

and Jax is just like, Stupid!

810

Stupid!

811

It's like, what's that idiot doing?

812

Look around, drive around!

813

Victor: You know, I just

appreciate the fact that they,

814

they have this procedure in place.

815

Cause it was going to piss me off.

816

Like they, they, they send

the, it's, it's just a.

817

Standard procedure that

they send the Stargate team.

818

They open up the gate,

they send the team through.

819

If you, it's like, if you don't hear

back from them for a, for a little

820

while, you know, dial it up again.

821

I'm glad that they did this because

it's just one of those, one of those.

822

Things.

823

It's like, yeah, they're obviously in

trouble if you don't hear back from

824

them within a certain amount of time,

and they, I just wish they would have

825

sent, sent another drone through, to

be all just like, hey, uh, send, send a

826

drone with some guns, or at least like

a, like a arm with a baseball bat or

827

something, and be like, knock it off, give

us our people back, quit it, you know.

828

Heh

829

Ben: And what I appreciate here is,

our commander, he's not an idiot.

830

He sees something pushing on the

wall of the hut that they're in,

831

and he's like, Okay, we've captured

some very important people here.

832

Uh, even though we don't believe

their lies, something is going on.

833

And you know what we're not gonna do?

834

Keep them right here

where we captured them.

835

We're gonna send them

back to a bigger base.

836

We're not gonna dick around

and keep them here at this tiny

837

base on Mars for two weeks.

838

Well, you can't have a corned

beef sandwich for breakfast.

839

It would upset your stomach.

840

Corned beef sandwiches are for lunch.

841

Ben: As Vic pointed out, I do

appreciate that they have the.

842

Hey, uh, we haven't heard from our guys.

843

Uh, call them up and see what's going on.

844

Uh, and so I'm asking you guys, Why did

they develop this, uh, this procedure?

845

Xhafer: The procedure

to move them off site.

846

Ben: No, no, no, to, for Hammond to

call them back up and check on them.

847

Uh, Yeah, what shenanigans

did they get trapped in?

848

Xhafer: oh, uh,

849

Ben: uh, call us back?

850

Victor: I'm going to say that, uh, I'm

going to say that, uh, that Daniel Jackson

851

was all just like, Hey guys, hear me out.

852

What if, uh, what's, uh, what's

another Pantheon we haven't seen yet?

853

Ben: Um,

854

Xhafer: uh, the Greeks, they found

that there's, we are, we, we know

855

from our predictions and the DMT

labs that there is a Celtic planet

856

Victor: Uh, no, no, there's not

that we just had some people

857

Ben: There was a Greek planet.

858

Victor: There's a

859

Xhafer: planet.

860

Yeah.

861

Okay.

862

Ben: Planet Falafel.

863

Victor: romans.

864

Uh, Let's go with voodoo planet or yeah

That it was like hear me out hear me out

865

what if uh, What's the name of the actual?

866

I don't know Daniel jackson just decides.

867

Hey, there's there's another there's

more alien gods out there that we can

868

be allies with that'll help us fight

Uh, Apophis, and they go check him out,

869

but it's like Friday, in the afternoon,

it's almost, it's almost 5 o'clock, and

870

they're like, Daniel, come on, man, we

wanna go home, man, we wanna go, go hit

871

happy hour, you know, guys, we'll make it

quick, and the, so they, they dial it up,

872

team gets sent out, and it's a fucking

spider planet, and they get captured,

873

and spun up in a web, and stuck in little

web cocoons, meanwhile, the rest of the

874

SG 1 crew are back in Cheyenne Mountain.

875

Are all just like, yeah, alright,

well, you know, They don't need us.

876

They're fine, let's go clock out.

877

And they're stuck there on Spider Planet

for three days, Until Monday, when

878

they come back in and they're like,

Oh fuck, are those guys not back yet?

879

Uh,

880

Xhafer: All right.

881

I got a different answer for you.

882

So, what do we know about Showtime,

the TV station, in the 90s?

883

Victor: that's the only

place where you can

884

Xhafer: Needlessly horny!

885

Needlessly horny!

886

What do we know about sci fi shows

887

Victor: What's

888

Xhafer: Needlessly horny!

889

We've got a Venn diagram here and

Stargate's in the center of it, and I

890

refuse to accept there is not a needlessly

horny episode of this show in its early

891

seasons back when it was on Showtime.

892

It had to have happened.

893

They were on planet Bordello or something.

894

Like, there was some weird shit.

895

Heh heh heh

896

Victor: planet,

897

Xhafer: heh.

898

Ben: They open up the gate,

Dan Jackson just comes back

899

and he's like, Half desiccated.

900

He's just like, I need

liquid, give me water.

901

Xhafer: Give me an IV

stat and three broads.

902

Anyways, uh, Teal'c and Nyan here are

making their way to the base, uh, when

903

they, uh, fire a shot at a transport,

uh, they miss causing it to land.

904

They get the guards, get on board.

905

And mount their rescue mission

by immediately crashing the ship.

906

Ben: Yeah,

907

Victor: That's an awesome plan.

908

Xhafer: Uh, this plan

actually goes pretty good.

909

Uh, for a, uh, not having

hit anyone with the shuttle.

910

Ben: yes, uh, I did appreciate, so

they crashed the shuttle, Nian runs

911

out and he's just like, There's a

guy out there in the woods and I just

912

barely escaped, please, please help me.

913

And, uh, then they immediately just

start shooting all these confused guys.

914

And Nian immediately shoots

two people and it's just like,

915

Welcome to the big leagues, Mr.

916

Archaeologist.

917

Victor: Yeah, I guess the

sticks are kinda user friendly.

918

You know, it

919

Ben: They also have a

fortunate stun setting, uh,

920

Xhafer: Uh, yep.

921

They make their way.

922

Um, O'Neill goes for Teal.

923

Uh, the commander gets Nian.

924

Uh, but he's carried through the

Stargate as more shuttles come in.

925

Uh, Dan, uh, they make

it through the Stargate.

926

Everyone makes it through the Stargate.

927

Ben: with one cool thing.

928

When they open it up, uh, back at,

uh, the SGC, uh, the, they're like,

929

Hey, somebody's opening a portal.

930

And now they've got two factor

authentication, it's like, Hey,

931

did we get a signal from SG one?

932

No, we did not close that.

933

Iris, close it right now.

934

I don't know what's coming

through, but it's gonna hit a wall.

935

Victor: Yeah, it's kind of like caller id

936

Ben: Yeah,

937

Victor: God do you remember the

time before we had caller id?

938

Good lord.

939

It's dark ages, man.

940

Heheheh.

941

Xhafer: like I had

caller ID in the mid 90s.

942

Victor: Yeah.

943

Eh, yeah.

944

Heheheh.

945

Did you, oh, only if you

had a cordless phone.

946

Heheheh.

947

Xhafer: No, we had a phone

that had an answering machine

948

built in and had caller ID.

949

Victor: Ah.

950

Oh, but was it a cassette or

was it, uh, or was it, remember,

951

did you have to change the tape?

952

You didn't, you didn't

have to change the tape.

953

Xhafer: I think it had tapes.

954

Victor: BRUH.

955

Ben: Now the important question,

did you record your own?

956

Family personalized voicemail message.

957

Xhafer: oh, a hundred percent.

958

And it was the Three

Stooges Hello, hello, hello

959

Hello.

960

Xhafer: with me, my mom, and my sister.

961

Ben: Uh, I find that highly offensive.

962

Xhafer: No, you don't!

963

Because you refuse to name your

son Lawrence Maurice Curley!

964

You don't get to get upset

when I do Three Stooges stuff!

965

You had the chance to name

your son Larry Moe Curley!

966

You chose not to!

967

I will not abide this!

968

Ben: It's my culture, I

can treat it how I wish.

969

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

970

Um, one thing I will

sadly admit for a while.

971

Like, a few years?

972

Our voicemail message was,

The Grease theme song.

973

Victor: Oh, you, oh, you, oh.

974

Ben: Grease

975

Xhafer: grease is the

976

Ben: you heard?

977

And then my dad came, would come on

and say, Leave your word at the beep.

978

And I, I like, I did not want

my friends calling my house in

979

case we didn't pick up in time.

980

Heheheheheheh

981

Xhafer: High school Ben was not

giving out his number to girls.

982

Ben: No I mean, nobody wanted it anyway.

983

And I don't blame them.

984

Xhafer: I'm sure that's

empirically not true, Ben.

985

You were just unaware.

986

I promise.

987

Has, has someone who's driven next to

you, and honked and waved at you because

988

I've run into you on streets before,

and had you completely ignore me?

989

I promise, you missed the signs.

990

Victor: Oblivious Ben.

991

Xhafer: It's happened at least a

dozen times in my life, where I've

992

seen you on the road, and you did

not notice me back, despite me

993

honking my horn and waving at you.

994

Ben: Why's somebody honking?

995

Somebody must be doing something.

996

I'm not in a car, I don't know.

997

cut that person off.

998

It's not my problem.

999

Victor: Nice.

00:48:44,852 --> 00:48:45,252

Xhafer: All right.

00:48:45,272 --> 00:48:47,232

So this episode wraps up real quick.

00:48:47,452 --> 00:48:48,962

Everyone gets through the Stargate.

00:48:49,262 --> 00:48:52,372

Uh, Dan offers Nian a job

as his research assistant.

00:48:52,572 --> 00:48:55,752

Uh, once, uh, he's got all these

artifacts he's recovered and he

00:48:55,752 --> 00:48:57,362

has that time to catalog them.

00:48:57,622 --> 00:49:00,482

So theoretically Nian is going

to be a reoccurring character.

00:49:01,267 --> 00:49:03,597

Ben: He's, he's gonna be

running the trophy room.

00:49:03,657 --> 00:49:07,697

He's gonna see all of their trinkets

when they stole that guy's wallet.

00:49:08,207 --> 00:49:11,367

Victor: What, you know, my, my

immediate question I had when I, when

00:49:11,497 --> 00:49:16,217

this happened was, is, uh, is, is he

a reoccurring character or is this

00:49:16,247 --> 00:49:18,177

just, this just something they do

00:49:18,252 --> 00:49:20,772

Xhafer: that sounds like a

great prediction to make.

00:49:20,982 --> 00:49:24,452

But before we make those predictions,

we should roll some dice and

00:49:24,452 --> 00:49:25,712

see how far ahead we're going.

00:49:26,272 --> 00:49:29,012

Victor: Well, before we wrap

up this episode, I just want

00:49:29,012 --> 00:49:30,612

to say I appreciated this.

00:49:30,612 --> 00:49:35,472

Uh, I give this episode four out of five

Babylon's it's, uh, I didn't like it at

00:49:35,472 --> 00:49:41,492

first, but with the ending, with the, the

way that they just didn't do the typical.

00:49:42,512 --> 00:49:47,132

90s sci fi, um, you know, finger

wagging soap, soap boxing thing

00:49:47,132 --> 00:49:51,032

where they try to make the sides

reconcile their differences.

00:49:51,272 --> 00:49:52,822

They're just like, no, fuck this planet.

00:49:52,832 --> 00:49:55,162

We're coming home, shut

the gate, close the iris.

00:49:55,172 --> 00:49:56,562

We're not going back to that planet again.

00:49:56,562 --> 00:49:57,422

Those guys are dicks.

00:49:58,092 --> 00:49:59,492

Xhafer: Look, I'm not

00:49:59,587 --> 00:50:00,167

Ben: Major Carter.

00:50:00,502 --> 00:50:01,672

Xhafer: I'm not going to do this.

00:50:01,872 --> 00:50:03,332

I'm just going to say it right now.

00:50:03,622 --> 00:50:07,212

If you and Ben After we're done with

this, decide to do a podcast where

00:50:07,212 --> 00:50:08,942

you go back and watch all this show.

00:50:10,792 --> 00:50:13,762

You should rate shows on a

scale of 1 to 7 chevrons.

00:50:13,762 --> 00:50:15,422

That is my gift to you.

00:50:15,937 --> 00:50:16,677

Victor: That's a good one, yeah.

00:50:18,307 --> 00:50:19,827

Ben: I do have, I do have one more.

00:50:20,547 --> 00:50:23,017

I've got one more question for

you guys about the episode.

00:50:23,857 --> 00:50:29,797

So, huge firefight, the people who

don't believe in the Stargate now

00:50:29,937 --> 00:50:34,687

are, you know, they all got shot by a

bunch of aliens who jumped through it.

00:50:35,437 --> 00:50:37,447

Malon is totally murdered, right?

00:50:38,462 --> 00:50:38,702

Xhafer: Oh,

00:50:38,937 --> 00:50:40,077

Ben: Back at that other base.

00:50:41,677 --> 00:50:42,247

Victor: Mmm,

00:50:42,417 --> 00:50:46,597

Ben: So it's, I hope you are happy,

you jerk off, you couldn't have waited,

00:50:46,607 --> 00:50:51,327

you know, two minutes to talk to

these people, and now you're murdered.

00:50:52,707 --> 00:50:58,007

Victor: I love how Nyan Cat just has no

qualms about leaving his home behind.

00:50:58,347 --> 00:51:00,297

It's like, fuck that planet,

they're a bunch of dicks.

00:51:01,537 --> 00:51:04,537

I'll come live here in this

strange world I know nothing about.

00:51:05,077 --> 00:51:06,687

That doesn't have lasers, apparently.

00:51:06,757 --> 00:51:06,967

Or

00:51:07,262 --> 00:51:08,612

Ben: You guys got sideburns there?

00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:12,912

Oh yeah man, it's the late 90s,

00:51:13,182 --> 00:51:14,642

You'll fit right in.

00:51:19,172 --> 00:51:19,852

Xhafer: Alright.

00:51:20,342 --> 00:51:25,802

Do we want to, uh, go over the

prediction results from last time?

00:51:25,882 --> 00:51:28,212

Lincoln, what are you doing up there?

00:51:28,692 --> 00:51:29,172

Guessing.

00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:33,532

I guess no one's coming.

00:51:33,532 --> 00:51:35,922

I have seen into the future.

00:51:35,922 --> 00:51:37,402

You ruined the prophecy.

00:51:37,689 --> 00:51:39,239

Xhafer: Do you have those

in from the lab, Vic?

00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:41,714

Victor: uh, they're

coming in just a second.

00:51:42,134 --> 00:51:44,794

I'm curious to roll the dice.

00:51:44,804 --> 00:51:48,114

I want to know, I'm actually,

I'm actually excited now.

00:51:48,154 --> 00:51:51,304

You know, um, I hate to say it, I

hate to admit it, but it's true.

00:51:51,374 --> 00:51:52,304

I'll admit it.

00:51:52,789 --> 00:51:56,769

I'm, I'm diggin this show, it's,

it's different, you know, it's

00:51:56,779 --> 00:51:57,359

Xhafer: No Gator

00:51:57,489 --> 00:51:58,819

Victor: not what I expected.

00:51:58,969 --> 00:52:01,899

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no gator hater

points, except for the one about

00:52:01,899 --> 00:52:05,269

the guy at the beginning who just

disappeared, but I can get over it.

00:52:05,639 --> 00:52:10,329

Uh, but yeah, I, I'm actually

invested in this show now, so I'm

00:52:10,339 --> 00:52:12,099

excited to, to watch another episode.

00:52:12,639 --> 00:52:15,279

All right, let's, let's

hear them dice roll!

00:52:16,329 --> 00:52:16,729

Xhafer: All right.

00:52:16,729 --> 00:52:18,479

That is a 14

00:52:19,259 --> 00:52:20,099

Victor: Ooh,

00:52:20,149 --> 00:52:26,359

Xhafer: takes us to season 4

episode 11 point of no return.

00:52:27,259 --> 00:52:27,729

Victor: what?

00:52:27,759 --> 00:52:28,609

No way.

00:52:30,829 --> 00:52:35,004

Point and overturn, that's a, that's

a Isn't that the name of, isn't that

00:52:35,004 --> 00:52:36,444

the name of a Babylon 5 episode?

00:52:37,739 --> 00:52:38,269

Xhafer: I think so.

00:52:38,269 --> 00:52:38,709

Yeah.

00:52:38,879 --> 00:52:39,059

Yeah.

00:52:39,059 --> 00:52:39,119

It

00:52:39,354 --> 00:52:40,684

Victor: Yeah, Pointed Overturn, yeah.

00:52:41,274 --> 00:52:45,894

And then, uh, and then, Frame of

Mind, or Out of Mind, yeah, they're,

00:52:46,249 --> 00:52:46,629

Xhafer: oh, yeah.

00:52:46,839 --> 00:52:50,709

Point of no return is the

is the name of season 3.

00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:52,919

So it's definitely the name

of an episode of Babylon

00:52:53,094 --> 00:52:53,534

Victor: yeah.

00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:54,344

Ha

00:52:54,419 --> 00:52:59,119

Xhafer: It's a season name episode,

um, Stargate command is contacted by a

00:52:59,119 --> 00:53:04,399

rambling individual who claims to possess

full knowledge of a host of government

00:53:04,399 --> 00:53:07,049

conspiracies from the government.

00:53:07,049 --> 00:53:12,249

Kennedy cover up to CIA

sanctioned microwave harassment

00:53:12,509 --> 00:53:14,409

of libertarian candidates.

00:53:14,984 --> 00:53:16,334

Victor: you are making this up.

00:53:16,364 --> 00:53:17,434

That's what it actually

00:53:17,924 --> 00:53:19,464

Xhafer: what it actually says!

00:53:19,564 --> 00:53:24,784

Victor: Ha ha, I am so invested in

this episode, in this series now.

00:53:25,054 --> 00:53:26,644

That is awesome.

00:53:26,644 --> 00:53:30,484

Ha ha ha ha, oh man.

00:53:30,559 --> 00:53:31,239

Oh,

00:53:31,254 --> 00:53:35,234

Xhafer: So, we'll make some predictions

in a few, but let's pull up the lab

00:53:35,234 --> 00:53:36,754

results here and see how we're doing.

00:53:37,579 --> 00:53:38,949

Victor: me, uh, let me just pull those up.

00:53:38,949 --> 00:53:41,329

I've got the results from

the lab coming in right now.

00:53:43,179 --> 00:53:43,709

There they are.

00:53:43,964 --> 00:53:46,374

Xhafer: Once again, we

can do it in post, Vic.

00:53:48,979 --> 00:53:49,959

Victor: I'm never going to stop.

00:53:49,959 --> 00:53:51,809

So hang on.

00:53:51,809 --> 00:53:53,979

I actually just got a text

from Angela right now.

00:53:53,979 --> 00:53:56,839

Let me just text recording podcast.

00:53:56,879 --> 00:53:57,589

No, can't talk.

00:53:57,899 --> 00:53:59,899

doo doo doo doo doo hm hm hm hm

00:54:03,259 --> 00:54:15,909

hm Uh, ah whatever I'll

just text her later Okay, um

00:54:17,399 --> 00:54:21,699

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Pull up the results here Alright, oh gosh,

00:54:21,699 --> 00:54:23,879

I meant to get a running total uh, again,

00:54:24,074 --> 00:54:24,804

Xhafer: I got mine.

00:54:25,224 --> 00:54:27,374

I went through and tallied up mine.

00:54:27,959 --> 00:54:30,121

Victor: God you guys are so awesome I

00:54:30,274 --> 00:54:31,314

Xhafer: did you do yours, Ben?

00:54:31,405 --> 00:54:32,689

Victor: Hahaha, alright

00:54:36,399 --> 00:54:41,009

Ben: I I went through and checked off

all the ones that, uh, I've gotten

00:54:41,009 --> 00:54:42,949

right so far, but I don't have a number.

00:54:44,129 --> 00:54:47,789

Victor: Yeah, uh, uh I can figure that

out, cause when I post these I usually

00:54:47,789 --> 00:54:53,869

post the day time first and then the and

Yeah, then the prime time in the evening.

00:54:53,869 --> 00:54:54,119

Yeah.

00:54:54,669 --> 00:54:55,529

So anyway, okay.

00:54:55,589 --> 00:54:59,479

Oh, and by the way, Uh, when I,

when I sent this one down to the

00:54:59,479 --> 00:55:01,809

lab, I forgot to lock the pole.

00:55:02,179 --> 00:55:06,299

So that people can't add their own

options and some, some of you, talking

00:55:06,299 --> 00:55:11,479

to you, DMT Research Lab, you lab rats,

some of you guys Graffiti'd the poll.

00:55:11,489 --> 00:55:12,799

You started adding options.

00:55:12,799 --> 00:55:13,859

You're not supposed to do that.

00:55:13,859 --> 00:55:15,289

That defeats the whole purpose.

00:55:15,289 --> 00:55:16,919

You can't add your own options here.

00:55:17,519 --> 00:55:20,619

Someone, Someone added yee haw.

00:55:21,109 --> 00:55:22,309

Like what the hell does that even mean?

00:55:22,329 --> 00:55:23,059

Yee haw.

00:55:23,409 --> 00:55:27,029

And then someone else added the team

faces off with a Belgian Guauld.

00:55:27,974 --> 00:55:28,784

Like a Belgian?

00:55:31,004 --> 00:55:31,444

Guys,

00:55:31,614 --> 00:55:34,484

Xhafer: of my predictions for this week

was that someone was going to add Yeehaw

00:55:34,484 --> 00:55:36,434

to the poll, so I'll take my point.

00:55:36,564 --> 00:55:37,524

Victor: Oh, of course, yeah.

00:55:38,194 --> 00:55:39,164

Fucking time traveler.

00:55:39,234 --> 00:55:39,584

Okay.

00:55:40,304 --> 00:55:43,624

Alright, so, uh, who

had, uh, Clancy Brown?

00:55:43,734 --> 00:55:45,044

Xhafer: I had Clancy Brown shows

00:55:45,284 --> 00:55:45,804

Victor: That was you.

00:55:46,024 --> 00:55:50,784

Okay, some, again, some of the

research lab don't understand how this

00:55:50,784 --> 00:55:53,134

works, uh, because they voted on it.

00:55:53,474 --> 00:55:56,314

And I'm sorry, I went and I, I went

and I checked Clancy Brown's IMDb

00:55:56,314 --> 00:55:58,814

profile and there is no Stargate.

00:55:59,944 --> 00:56:04,524

He's been in Star Wars, he's been

in Star Wars, he's been in Star

00:56:04,524 --> 00:56:06,864

Trek, he has not been in Stargate.

00:56:07,424 --> 00:56:10,084

Unless he made a secret,

uncredited appearance.

00:56:10,134 --> 00:56:11,534

Actors do that sometimes.

00:56:11,794 --> 00:56:14,014

But I'm pretty sure that

still would have been on IMDb.

00:56:14,884 --> 00:56:16,524

But uh, even though,

00:56:17,304 --> 00:56:19,114

it had seven people vote on it?!

00:56:19,684 --> 00:56:20,874

Seven people voted!

00:56:21,554 --> 00:56:23,314

Alright, I'm gonna have to

go back and confirm this.

00:56:23,314 --> 00:56:25,664

Because if there's seven people,

I don't know if they were just

00:56:25,674 --> 00:56:27,534

being idiots, or if they were

00:56:28,674 --> 00:56:30,114

Xhafer: I'll trust IMDB.

00:56:30,214 --> 00:56:30,774

It's fine.

00:56:31,174 --> 00:56:31,464

Victor: Yeah.

00:56:33,134 --> 00:56:34,214

Uh, let's see.

00:56:34,264 --> 00:56:35,254

Uh, next.

00:56:35,314 --> 00:56:38,914

Your next prediction was

SG 1 teams up with a Gua

00:56:39,004 --> 00:56:40,764

Xhafer: Yeah, both Ben and I had this one.

00:56:40,764 --> 00:56:41,044

He

00:56:41,404 --> 00:56:41,964

Victor: Yeah, that's right.

00:56:41,994 --> 00:56:45,164

And wow, I must have been, I must have

had some tequila when I posted this

00:56:45,164 --> 00:56:47,424

because I, I just now noticed my typo.

00:56:47,754 --> 00:56:50,384

Uh, SG1 tealks up with a guava.

00:56:50,384 --> 00:56:53,634

Pfft.

00:56:54,794 --> 00:56:59,414

Uh, but, uh, with eight votes and

a confirmation from Angela, uh,

00:56:59,474 --> 00:57:02,274

Angela the Gatekeeper, that, I'm

gonna say that one is correct.

00:57:02,324 --> 00:57:03,734

So that apparently happens a few times.

00:57:04,709 --> 00:57:05,719

Ben: Hey.

00:57:06,404 --> 00:57:08,654

Victor: And your next prediction

was Plato was an alien?

00:57:08,664 --> 00:57:10,104

No, Plato was not an alien.

00:57:10,104 --> 00:57:11,714

Ha ha ha.

00:57:11,974 --> 00:57:13,174

Plato never comes up in the series.

00:57:13,944 --> 00:57:14,034

Ha

00:57:14,044 --> 00:57:15,884

Xhafer: that brings my

running total to ten.

00:57:16,694 --> 00:57:17,674

Victor: Hey, that's nice.

00:57:18,814 --> 00:57:21,404

Let's see, okay, next

up are my predictions.

00:57:21,844 --> 00:57:25,434

I predicted that other nations get

involved with the Stargate program.

00:57:25,444 --> 00:57:28,664

With 19 votes, 33 percent of the votes.

00:57:28,704 --> 00:57:30,804

Uh, that, that's a, that's a correct.

00:57:30,814 --> 00:57:35,279

It usually tells me how many people

voted on this, but uh Not this time.

00:57:35,279 --> 00:57:35,849

That's strange.

00:57:36,839 --> 00:57:42,669

Uh, okay, and my next prediction was,

uh, Teal calibrates a group of Jaffa.

00:57:43,289 --> 00:57:47,679

Uh, only four votes, but I got a

confirmation from the gatekeeper

00:57:47,679 --> 00:57:49,439

on that one that that's correct.

00:57:49,759 --> 00:57:52,029

Uh, apparently happens

a few times as well.

00:57:53,229 --> 00:57:55,099

And my third prediction was the U.

00:57:55,099 --> 00:57:55,269

S.

00:57:55,289 --> 00:57:57,369

president gets Gua'uld.

00:57:57,769 --> 00:57:59,099

Apparently I came close.

00:57:59,539 --> 00:58:02,859

Some of these guys came close

to spoiler territory and said,

00:58:03,284 --> 00:58:06,614

They said close, uh, someone gets

possessed but not the president.

00:58:06,654 --> 00:58:10,674

Apparently someone really important

gets, gets, uh, gets ghoul ded.

00:58:10,754 --> 00:58:11,694

But, uh, but not the U.

00:58:11,694 --> 00:58:11,824

S.

00:58:11,824 --> 00:58:12,484

president, so.

00:58:12,959 --> 00:58:19,784

Ben: So somebody really important

00:58:19,784 --> 00:58:21,144

say it's Harry Connick Jr.

00:58:21,394 --> 00:58:21,504

Victor: Pffft!

00:58:21,504 --> 00:58:23,434

Ha ha ha ha!

00:58:24,494 --> 00:58:25,934

I thought you were gonna

say the Backstreet Boys.

00:58:25,934 --> 00:58:27,894

Ha ha ha ha!

00:58:30,074 --> 00:58:31,724

Uh, okay, uh, let's see.

00:58:31,724 --> 00:58:34,344

So I think these next two

predictions are yours, Ben.

00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:38,874

Uh, T ilk rescues the

SG 1 team from Hathor.

00:58:39,894 --> 00:58:41,934

Uh, did get confirmation

that that one is correct.

00:58:42,799 --> 00:58:48,349

As well as there are, there are

quite a few clip shows apparently.

00:58:48,669 --> 00:58:51,489

Because your next prediction

was there are, there are at