Shownotes
On The Soul Mirror Podcast, hosted by Shreya, this conversation with Brigitta Dau explores the deeper meaning behind that subtle inner drift many of us feel.
This episode is for anyone who looks “fine” on the outside but feels disconnected within. Brigitta shares how purpose isn’t loud or dramatic—it’s grounded, calm, and deeply personal. You’ll walk away with a softer, clearer way to reconnect with what truly matters to you.
About the Guest:
Brigitta Dau is a life coach, Reiki practitioner, author, and speaker. Her work blends inner healing, creativity, and purposeful living, helping people reconnect with their authentic path.
Episode Chapters:
00:00 – The quiet feeling of being lost
03:20 – What “North Star” really means
07:45 – Reiki and emotional clarity
12:10 – Why purpose isn’t loud
16:30 – The trap of external validation
21:00 – Reconnecting through creativity
25:40 – Simple exercises to rediscover yourself
Key Takeaways:
- Purpose feels calm, not overwhelming
- Misalignment drains energy; alignment sustains it
- Creativity helps break mental loops and restore clarity
- Your values—not approval—should guide decisions
- Childhood joy and memories reveal hidden truths
How to Connect With the Guest:
Instagram | YouTube | Substack
🎙️ Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life?
Send me a direct message on PodMatch.
👉 DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik
🌱 About Healthy Mind By Avik™️
Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Global Mental Wellness Podcast Network - focused, credible, no more identity clutter.
👉 Subscribe and be part of this healing journey.
Refer a Guest
Know someone who would be a great fit for one of our podcast shows? Email us at [email protected] with the subject line “Refer a Guest.” Requests without this subject line cannot be catered to.
Support Our Podcast: Support this Podcast
📬 Contact & Links
Brand: Healthy Mind By Avik™️
Based in: India & USA
📌 Disclaimer - This episode is produced for educational and informational purposes only. All views expressed by the guest are their personal opinions alone and do not represent the views of the host or Healthy Mind by Avik™. The Network does not verify, endorse, or assume responsibility for any guest statements. Nothing in this episode constitutes medical, legal, financial, or professional advice, please consult a qualified professional before making any decisions. Listeners are encouraged to engage critically and independently with all content do not consume blindly. Use this content as a starting point for your own reflection and research, not as a substitute for professional guidance. Third-party content is referenced under fair use for informational purposes only. Guest speakers are solely responsible for their own statements.
If you have concerns about any content, please contact us here
By listening, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer in full. Read detailed disclaimer here.
#podmatch #healthymindbyavik #podhub.club #findyourpurpose #personalgrowthjourney #mentalwellnessmatters #selfdiscovery #innerhealing #mindfulliving #emotionalwellbeing #authenticself #lifecoaching #healingjourney #creativehealing #purposefulliving #selfawareness #growthmindset
Transcripts
00:00:06 Shreya: There is a version of lost that most people don't talk about. It's not dramatic. You're not falling apart. You are functioning. You are showing up, getting through the days. But somewhere underneath all of it is this quite persistent feeling that you have drifted from something, that the life you are living, while fine on the outside, doesn't quite feel like yours on the inside. What if that feeling is not a problem to fix? What if it's actually a compass pointing you home? And today we are going to follow that compass.
00:00:41 Shreya: So welcome to the podcast. I'm Shreya And this is the space where we turn inward, look honestly at the patterns we carry, and explore what it really means to live a life that feels true. My guest today is a life coach, Reiki master, author and speaker whose work sits at the intersection of inner wisdom, creative expression, and purposeful living. Brigitta Dowe has just co-authored her newest book, Landing on Your North Star A Guide to Finding Your Life's Purpose, and she joins us today to share what that journey actually looks like. So, Brigitta, it's so wonderful to have you here.
00:01:23 Brigitta Dau: Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited about talking about this further with you.
00:01:28 Shreya: Thank you so much. And before we talk about the book and North Stars and purpose, I want to start somewhere that feels very you. So your work brings together Reiki life coaching, creative expression, even crafting. And that's not the typical combination. What was the moment or the series of moments where you realized that all of these things belonged together? That, uh, this unusual mix was actually your unique offering.
00:01:59 Brigitta Dau: Beautiful question. Thank you so much. Yeah, it is unique, isn't it? Um, when I, I've always been. Let me just back it up for a second. So I've been coaching and was life coaching for probably. Yes. I've been coaching about fifteen years now and I'd say over five years ago, I, I've always been curious about energy work. Let me just say that. But then about over five years ago, I met up again with a friend of mine who was pretty involved with Reiki Energy. And she said, you're going to want to do this, like try it out. And I thought, yeah, I'm curious about this. So my initial thought when I got into Reiki was just for me personally, I wasn't intending to use it as a coach. I just thought, oh, it's just going to be for me. And pretty quickly when I started utilizing Reiki with me in terms of personal growth. So most of us, when we get pulled to become a life coach, it's because we enjoy personal growth for ourselves. We've usually gone through some sort of an experience or multiple experiences where we feel like, you know, is this it? Can I do better? How can I improve myself? How can I grow as a human and how can I challenge myself? All of those things come into play. So I was already doing that work, but the Reiki energy just brought a beautiful extra layer of softness. Actually, clarity and softness around change itself. So as you know, when you're creating change in your life, if you're tackling maybe a, I don't know, a difficult situation or giving up a pattern of behavior that, you know, isn't great for you, but you've been doing it for a long time, like a habit or a thought pattern or a belief system. Giving those things up can be really uncomfortable. I mean, really uncomfortable. There's a big transition that you go through. You might be changing jobs, or you might be leaving a relationship, or you might be starting a business. There's a lot of very uncomfortable things that come up emotionally. You get triggered all along the way, which is great. I mean, that's part of the process, right? Of personal growth. That's how we grow. And yet it's uncomfortable and Reiki can really soften that. So we have a little bit more courage. We feel more supported and more willing to, to take the risks and more willing to hang out in that uncomfortable zone, because that's kind of where the magic is. Is that unknowing that, that, that not being able to predict the future is where the magic truly lies. But it's very uncomfortable place for human beings to be. We like to predict the future, right? And so Reiki really helps with that. It also supports clarity, which sometimes is really all we need. We're willing to take the leap of faith, but we just want to have a little bit more clarity before we do. We know there are no guarantees. We get that we're willing to take the risk. But boy, it would be nice if I had a clear vision as to where where am I going? How how might I get there? Or better yet, what is my next best step? You know, and and Reiki can be as practical as that. When I do a Reiki session with someone, the clarity happens and often they will come away from a session with a very clear pathway forward as to how and what to do next, which to me is incredibly valuable. And that in and of itself feels supportive. So then people can start to really make amazing changes in their lives. That's how Reiki came into play. And then with in terms of creativity and crafting and play, I have noticed that it. Well, personally, again, when I've been lost, often the best thing for me to do is get busy with my hands and just start doing something creative. And what that does for me is it gets me out of the anxiety loop of future tripping and worrying or, you know, looking through the rear view mirror at things that I've maybe missed opportunities. And so I start shaming myself and I have a bunch of regret instead of either of those two perspectives, crafting or any kind of creative, creative expression, it gets you present. It gets you here right now. And the benefit of that is proven with science, but we know it just from our own experience of when you get present, your brain gets a break, the worrying stops you touch, you become you. You strengthen your relationship with who you truly are, with your core being with your spirit. And I say that because if you think back to, well, too far back, that we can even remember when we were very, very little, we colored before we wrote and we sang before we spoke. We started being creative. That's how we evolved to be the walking, talking human beings we are now. It's a creative process to grow and evolve. So when you stop what you're doing and get creative for a moment, and when I say creative, that could mean cutting up vegetables. It could mean looking into collecting paintings that you love. Collecting is actually an interesting form of creative expression. It could be coloring books. There's adult coloring books you can get at the drugstore here, you know, um, it could be playing in the dirt and going out and gardening, planting some new, um, you know, flowers for the spring. It can be absolutely anything that gets you present is, in my opinion, even how you dress in the, in, you know, in the morning, you can get very creative with that if you want to and touch and touch base with that part of you that's truly you, your true spiritual self. And the more you do that again, the more confident you become actually, and the more you can actually problem solve because it does give your brain a break. Science has proven this to us now that when you are being actively creative in whatever endeavor, whatever you're doing, you could be making mud pies outside in the garden. That's fine. But whatever you're doing, if you're being creative, that part of your brain that is problem solving has a break and is actually better at coming up with solutions to whatever your problems are. So there's science behind it. But of course, for me, I also like seeing the practical does this work in my life? And the answer is yes, it does. So depending on the person's issues, depending on what they're working with me or creativity is often something that I give as a homework assignment of spend a little bit of time this week getting playful, do something fun.
00:08:28 Shreya: That's beautifully said. And I think also the phrase finding your purpose is everywhere right now. It's on your covers, in Instagram, captions, in every self-help conversation. And yet, for so many people, it produces more anxiety than clarify. They feel behind like everyone else has found theirs and they somehow missed the memo. So what is the biggest misconception people carry about what? Finding your purpose is actually supposed to feel like.
00:08:59 Brigitta Dau: Oh, well, that's a great question. I think the misconception is we feel like it's supposed to be some great big thing, like we're going to change the world in some way, or I'm going to feel like I really, really, really know, you know, like I, I just, there's this sense of, I'm always going to know if I'm living my purpose because I'm going to feel great and aligned and all these big, bigger than life feelings. I don't think that's actually that that might happen sometimes. Of course, that will happen sometimes. But generally when you're really in alignment with your purpose, it doesn't feel it doesn't feel like really high on the Richter scale, you know? Um, I liken it to that white sugar high, you know, when you eat too much sugar and you're like, woo hoo! And you're up here, that's not in alignment with with your purpose. When you're in alignment, you're not feeling like you've eaten a whole tub of white sugar, like a big thing of ice cream or something. When you're in alignment with your purpose, you're actually quite calm. You might be excited and energized and enthusiastic, but you are grounded and you are centered and you have clarity, and you are able to take action and know when not to take action. And there's a there's a simple calmness to knowing when you are in alignment with your purpose. And I think that if people spent more time getting clear about their own value system. To me, being in alignment with your purpose, figuring out, like the book is called Finding Your North Star or Landing on your North Star. I should say, when you're landing on your North Star, when you're clear about your purpose, you know what your values are, you know what's most important to you. And generally what's most important to you feels grounded, feels secure. It feels right. Another way of saying that is you feel more like yourself. Right. And, and you know, when you're in alignment with your North Star or with your purpose, when it feels when it when you feel more like yourself. And here's the flip of it. You know, when you're not. So sometimes the easiest way for people to stop that anxiety that they feel about, oh my God, I'm supposed to know my purpose? And I don't know. I don't have a purpose. I'm missing out. This is something I'm supposed to do. Take a look at where you feel Ill completely out of alignment where you feel like your ship is going in one hundred percent the wrong direction. So if you're supposed to be headed towards your North Star, but you're headed towards your South Star when you can pick up on that. And all of us have had that feeling. We've all known. We've all woken up one day and said, oh gosh, what? Oh, things are wrong. This is not what I had. This is not right. You know, I, I turned right when I should have turned left. We've all had that experience in our life. Those are important experiences because you know what your North Star is not. You know what your purpose is not, you know what is not your value system. You might be following someone else's value system. It might be someone else's goal that they set for you. But maybe it's not your goal. It's not your value system. So that's a very uncomfortable but valuable distinction to make when you realize, oh, this doesn't feel right to me. Ah, that's good information. So and then from there, it's not necessarily that you need to go a one eighty in the opposite direction, but you can start to steer the ship. You can start to turn your focus of attention towards things that do light you up the things that another way, you know, when you're in alignment with your purpose is you have more energy. And again, it's not that crazy high out of control energy. It's grounded in, it's sustainable. So the work, quote unquote, the work that you're doing towards your goals based on your value system, all that work you're doing doesn't tire you out. You have, you have energy for days because you're in alignment. So everything you're doing fuels your excitement and enthusiasm. It fuels that flame within you that you want to share with the world. Uh, if you're out of alignment, you get tired quickly because it's not fueling you. It's not nourishing your soul. I don't know if that answered your question. Yes.
00:13:29 Shreya: It definitely answered like, I love that full frame because so much of the suffering around purpose comes from treating it like a treasure hunt with a fixed end point.
00:13:39 Brigitta Dau: Yeah.
00:13:42 Shreya: In your work as a coach and in your own life, what are the deeper patterns that tend to disconnect people from their inner wisdom in the first place? Because most people who feel purposeless or lost then start that way. Something happened or accumulated over time. So what do you tend to find underneath when you really start looking with someone? Oh, that's.
00:14:07 Speaker 3: Such a great question.
00:14:08 Brigitta Dau: Because first of all, it's going to be very different for each and every person. But I will say there is a general answer to that. And it is we get swayed by, well, and let's also just say that this is old programming. We are all guilty of this. This is just part of being a human being. But, but many of us are swayed by the opinions of others and even the good intentions of others. And so that can look like so many different things. For me personally, I like I have an old pattern of people pleasing. I like to have everybody happy. I like to make sure everybody is getting along and, and, and which is really nice, but it's not particularly practical for me when I'm trying to take some risks in my life and create things for myself and create things for other people. And also it's, it's not in alignment with my values because I don't want to be one of my values is connection. So just like you and I are talking, this is great. I'm lit up, I love this, we're connecting, but we don't have to agree on everything but the people pleasing old part of me, that old belief system of mine, that people pleasing behavior that would have me just flat out have to agree with everything you're saying. Well, that doesn't make for a very interesting conversation. That doesn't make for growth. That doesn't mean I won't learn anything from you. You won't learn anything from me. Um, and, and it just doesn't serve, it really doesn't serve the purpose. So I have to be willing to let go of my old behaviors and belief systems. That, again, probably came from childhood. Uh, they served me to some degree and maybe in a lot of great ways even, but in this particular case, it won't serve me to use my old patterns of behavior. And that's where a well intentioned idea gets in the way of what my value is. And I. So I think when we get pulled, I think it's often we're looking outside of ourselves. We're looking to see, are we getting approval from others? Are we making an impact on others? AM I do people like me? Um, will I be accepted there? And all of those things are I'm not saying they're not important questions to answer, but they shouldn't be the most important question to ask yourself. I think looking outside of yourself is where you get into trouble. And this is something as simple as, let's say I'm working with a writer and they say, I have a couple ideas that could be a screenplay, it could be a short story, it could be a novel. I don't know what should I write? Well, I don't know the answer to that, but we can figure that out together. If we look at what do you value? Where do you want to see this? If this lands where you want it to, in the hands of the people you know, reading your book, or is it a screenplay? Do you want them to see it? Do you want them to be leaving their home to go and watch what you've created? Those are very different goals. And the difference between writing a book and a screenplay, because they're so different. We got to really drill down to that person and what is their value? Do they want people to get out of their home and go out and be in community and share it that way? Or do they want it to be a beautiful, intimate experience that they have at home with their book curled up on the couch with their pets? You know, the beautiful, both are beautiful outcomes, but they're very personal. And I can tell them what I think, but it doesn't really matter what I think. And that's where they would get pulled away from their North Star, from their purpose, from their clarity by following what they think they should do versus what what really matters to them.
00:17:51 Shreya: Yeah, I think that's such an important thing to name because a lot of people have done the intellectual work. They have read books, they have journal, they have been in therapy, and they still feel stuck. And what you are pointing, uh, at is that some of this leaves somewhere that the analytical mind simply cannot reach on its own. And also there are someone listening right now who has spent a long time doing what was expected to them, uh, what was safe, what made other people comfortable. And somewhere along the way, they lost the thread back to what they actually want. So they're not even sure they know what that is anymore. What do you want to them? Like, what do you want them to hear right now, in this moment?
00:18:47 Brigitta Dau: That's gorgeous. Yeah. If you're in that position where you're realizing you have you have spent greater amount of your time doing things for others and not acknowledging what it is that you want. The first thing I would say is, look back to your childhood, to when you were about eight or nine years old, and what were you doing? What what were you enjoying doing? Because that will often be an insight into what lights you up again. Uh, another thing you can do is an exercise that we actually have in our in our book, which is called Favorite Memories. And you can just list out five or ten of your favorite memories. And these can be anything. It could have been something that happened two days ago. It could have been a class that you took. It could have been something that happened when you were a child. It can be anything trips, classes, books that you read, experiences you had anything. It doesn't matter. Ten of your favorite memories. And then after you've written these out, take a look at them and you'll notice that there's a through line. There's something in common, and this is how you drill down to your value system. And so again, for me, I have three or four that are imperative, three or four things that are in every single one of my favorite memories, these four things show up. I'm connected to people. There's connection going on. There's contribution. So there's usually something I'm contributing to. There's humor usually, and there's some sort of creative expression going on as well. So that tells me I need to be doing one of those four things. Most of the time, or if I'm choosing a new goal for myself, that's going to be. Instead of doing things for other people. But in this one particular area in my life. I'm going to really focus on what I want. Then I would look at all of those memories. And see what why did I, why are those my favorite memories? What was I feeling? What was the value? That I was really experiencing? And how can I get more of that right now? And so for some people, it could be adventure. Some people it could be, um, abundance, some people it could be being outside. Uh, it's again, it's going to be completely different for everybody. And when. Like, let's say it's adventure. Let's say you realize that, oh, all of my favorite memories have me taking a little bit of an adventure in some way, shape or form. Great. That's great to know. So then that means that could even mean getting a different kind of a book to read, quite honestly, to start to fuel that adventurous part of you. Or it could mean finding a show on TV, you know, some streaming thing and watch something that's a little more adventurous or, or the bigger risk would be go do something adventurous, go somewhere different for lunch or dinner, or go to a completely different, just do something, go by a totally different outfit or drive, go to a different part of town and just go for a walk and see what there is. That's an adventure. Break out of your zone, out of, out of your comfort zone a little bit, you know?
00:21:54 Shreya: Yeah. That's wonderful. And thank you for sharing this with my audience. And this is truly a very amazing and helpful conversation. And if after this, my listeners want to connect with you, then what's the best way? Oh, the.
00:22:08 Brigitta Dau: Easiest is my website. Uh, my name Brigitta dow dot com. I'm also on Instagram, Facebook, All. Everywhere else on at brigida dash coaching dot com. And the book is available anywhere where you like to buy books.
00:22:23 Shreya: Yes, and I will make sure to attach all these details and links below so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And for my listeners, I will say, please go and find Brigetta and the book, especially if today felt like it was speaking to something you have been sitting with for a while. And Brigetta, thank you for this, for the gentleness you bring to such an important question, and for the reminder that purpose does not have to be grand or loud to be real, and for the work you are putting into the world. And to all my listeners, I want to leave you with one question to carry into your day. If you stripped away everything you do for approval, for security, for someone else's comfort, what would still be left? That quite thing that's worth paying attention to. Until next time, keep turning inward and the mirror doesn't lie. Lie and remember. And do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.
