How to Attract Healthy Love After Heartbreak | FT: Coach Jonathan Aslay
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH JONATHAN ASLAY
On Instagram @jonathonaslay (https://www.instagram.com/jonathonaslay/)
On YouTube @JonathonAslay
(https://www.youtube.com/@JonathonAslay)
FREE Strategy Call jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Self-Love The Book selflovethebook.com
Midlife dating and relationship coach Jonathan Aslay joins Charlene on Cheers to Great Love to deliver one of the most honest, healing, and eye-opening conversations about love, heartbreak, and emotional maturity you will ever hear.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Introduction: Who is Jonathan Aslay
2:30 - How going through divorce led to 100 internet dates in one year
5:30 - How his coaching business was born from helping women with dating profiles
8:00 - The role personal development and therapy played in his transformation
11:00 - Why chemistry does not equal relationship success
14:30 - Emotional maturity: the hardest thing to assess in a partner
17:00 - How the ego protects us from pain but creates more of it
20:00 - The one belief holding women back in love
23:00 - Why women give their power away to men in relationships
26:00 - What women need to know about men and today's dating culture 29:30 - 80% vs 20%: The commitment breakdown explained
33:00 - Why you should interrogate before intimacy (not after)
36:30 - Speed it up vs slow it down — reframing physical intimacy
40:00 - How to ask deeper questions earlier in dating
43:00 - Why most dating advice online is rage bait and dangerous
46:00 - Victor consciousness vs victim consciousness explained
49:30 - How women push healthy love away while trying to protect their heart
50:00 - Five questions to ask yourself after a relationship ends
51:30 - The story of losing his son Connor and writing the self-love book
53:00 - What self-love actually means: nurturing your inner six-year-old
54:00 - Final message: Love is the antidote to emotional suffering
56:00 - How to connect with Jonathan and get the book
Jonathan shares how a divorce, financial collapse, and personal rock bottom led him to discover what actually creates lasting love, and it has nothing to do with chemistry, fancy dates, or waiting for someone to lead.
He breaks down why 80% of men are not capable of full commitment, how women unknowingly give their power away in relationships, why protecting your heart after heartbreak actually pushes healthy love away, and what it really means to vet someone before physical intimacy.
He also opens up about the profound loss of his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018 and how that heartbreak became the catalyst for his bestselling book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway?, and a deeper commitment to helping others live a self-examined life rooted in love and gratitude.
This episode will shift how you think about dating, healing, and yourself.
