The truth, some of us, if not all of us get conditioned fairly early on in life that the truth/ living the truth/ speaking the truth is not necessarily going to make other people feel great or even cause really uncomfortable situations.

what is your relationship with the truth ?

do you hide and adapt lots ?

do you speak your truth gently and are unafraid of negative consequences cause you have learnt in the end this is better than wanting/needing harmony at all cost ?

let's explore

with love

A.

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Unknown: 00:00:09

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending time with you today.

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I'm a life coach and love coach. And if you ever feel like

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reaching out to me because you feel stuck in love you feel

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lost, you don't really know what your purpose is and what you're

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meant to do for the next couple of months and years to come.

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Feel free to message me Aurora Eggert coaching on Facebook or

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just contact me on Facebook, Aurora Eggert,

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and we've can schedule a 60 minute call all for free, where

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you can just get a little bit of a taste of what coaching could

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look like for you.

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Otherwise, if this is your first time listening, welcome to the

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show. And thank you so much for being curious about my podcast,

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it is a podcast that is meant to provide you with valuable

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information when it comes to your mental health and your

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relationships and overall health. And for you to find a

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space where you can rest and recharge your batteries. And if

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you've been a longtime listener, thank you so much for your

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support. I love it so much to connect with you over Instagram

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or Facebook and to read your comments or requests for

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episodes. It's just amazing to have you here. So yeah, thank

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you so much for everybody listening.

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Today I want to talk about the truth.

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Us humans, we have a difficult relationship with the truth.

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I feel that from an early age on we are being conditioned and

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shown that it is okay to lie that it is sometimes even

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totally necessary to not share your truth in order to not face

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weird consequences that are going to impact you negatively.

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So I want to ask you this week, what is your relationship with

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the truth? How truthful are you

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with others, but especially with yourself?

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I think we know every time we're not being truthful. We know when

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we tell somebody outside of us outside of our family or or even

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friends

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when we are not 100% truthful. But we do it anyways. Because

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sometimes there is something else there is way more important

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than the truth, our truth.

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And it can be very different for every person out there. It can

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be very subjective. It can be harmony, wanting to stay

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connected with people at all cost.

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Look at the wife, for example. Her

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biggest priority is to maintain a beautiful family picture for

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the external world to see.

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It is her utmost priority that people look at her and see that

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she's beautiful. She's capable. She's a provider, she's a

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helper.

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Her husband is always there to support and yeah, they work as a

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great team.

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The children

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are part of the family. So for her let's say it is very

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important on what other people think.

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Now her husband starts cheating on her

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and on some level she knows that is wrong. But would be what

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Sorry, what would be way worse still is to call him out on it.

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And to then have drama,

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a breakup divorce separate

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Asian, the kids having to move somewhere else, that would be

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way worse. So this woman now decides to not see the cheating

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of her husband. She doesn't live in denial of it, she knows

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exactly what's going on. But she chooses to ignore it, because

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she doesn't want to face any consequences if she calls him

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out.

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So her truth is, we have an intact family, we are happy, we

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are working as a team.

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Yet she knows that everything is fucked inside of her household.

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And that

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creates a huge disbalance within her, but also within that

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family, because he's going to try and overcompensate and so

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on, and so on. This is just one example of a person choosing

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something different over being truthful. And the reason why we

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do that is because we've learned in the past that a negative

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consequence, a harsh reaction from another person, once we

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speak our truth

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is bad for us that a negative consequence or harsh reaction

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will on the long run, cause pain, separation, anxiety, and

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we don't want that in life.

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Now, if you've listened to my last episode, about being

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authentic and living your truth, you know already that yes,

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sometimes we have to pick discomfort over comfort, and

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trust that in speaking our truth,

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we maintain a healthy balance within ourselves. And we also

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give our external world the opportunity to be authentic and

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truthful. And in balance

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and negativity and fights and short term. You know, anxiety

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and discomfort are part of life. And it is sometimes more

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important to face a little bit of discomfort instead of long

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term comfort, but at the expense of your health,

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at the expense of really having a healthy relationship.

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So test yourself this week, and maybe over the next couple of

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weeks and months, especially over the Christmas holidays.

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Because I feel that's the time when we tend to be Yeah.

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Least truthful because we are meeting with family again. And

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we want to create harmony, we don't want to create friction,

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at least some of us.

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We want to have a sense of belonging, we want to have a

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sense of completeness of wholeness, you know, and we

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don't want to be that stick in the wheel that is being

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truthful. And by just observing yourself and taking mental notes

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of when you are lying most. That can create a change already,

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right? I'm not encouraging you to now all of a sudden throw one

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tooth bump after the other especially during Christmas. We

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don't need extra friction right now. I think we're all exhausted

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enough and irritated. But to just observe yourself and to see

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who's the person I lie most to? Isn't myself. Is it a person

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that I call my friend? Is it my parents? Is that my children?

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Who am I most afraid of? Telling my truth? Again? Is it your

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parents? Is it your caregivers? Is it your friends? Is it your

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spouse? And then why is that?

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And to know that we are being conditioned to always go with

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the feel good will always go with the positivity. Yeah, you

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got to be positive. You got to be encouraging

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hopeful, you can never be in a bad mood because that's going to

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drag people down. Well, that's not authentic. If you are having

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a shit day, and trying to lie about it, people will sense

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this. And this is another very, very important part.

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To talk about when we talk about truthfulness is trust

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worthiness.

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The more you lie into your own pocket, so let's go back to the

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woman who is happily married and her husband is cheating, but she

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doesn't call him out on it because it's more important of

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what people think. It creates a disbalance inside of her right

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there is resentment and hatred and disappointment inside of

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her. But she chooses to suppress it because it's more important

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for her to have the beautiful family image. But like I love to

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say we're all animals, we sense weird wives from kilometres

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apart.

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And so this woman will have more and more difficulties to connect

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with people that love truthfulness, and that love

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authenticity. Of course, she's gonna connect great with people

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who do the same bullshit than she does. But with people who

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can cut through the bullshit and want to know a person on a

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deeper level, they will sense from a mile away that something

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is fishy with that woman.

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And no matter what it is, is she overcompensating? Is she

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depressed? Is there something else going on, but no one can

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live alive for too long, and the people who choose to usually get

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sick because inside of your body body, your hormones going to get

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out of whack and your body is going to rebel. And everything

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is gonna go down a rabbit hole. So

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explore a little bit be curious, be a detective. What is your

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relationship with the truth? Is it something that brings you joy

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and makes you feel alive and good?

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Or is it something that makes you shy away and doesn't make

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you feel good and you feel you'd rather adapt than telling your

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truth?

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode here today. If I

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was able to bring value into your life, if I got your

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brain stimulated the right way, please leave me a comment or

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even a rating on Apple podcast and a review. It would mean the

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world to me, you know I'm working on this podcast here for

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the last year and everything is for free that I offer. And I

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would love to reach more people in distress more people that I

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can help around the world. All right, take really good care of

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yourself. And I will be out there very soon again. Bye bye.