Today we have the privilege of speaking with Blessing Platinum-Williams. She has lead a very eventful life in her short time on this earth, and has been gifted with the wisdom to cling to God every step of the way.

Interesting Links:

• Jesus My Hero - Jesus My Hero is a tool for parents and children alike, designed to help young readers manage their emotions by leaning on the Promises of God. From fear to loneliness, from feelings of inadequacy to navigating everyday challenges like school, this book introduces children to the reassuring presence of Jesus in their lives.
• Preparing to be a Christian Wife (Udemy) - Building a Foundation for Marriage: Cultivating Self-Love, Spirituality, and Wise Partner Choices
• Through Christ: The Path to Unlimited Potential Faith Journal - Through Christ - A Christian Reflection Journal: Embark on a spiritual journey with this meticulously crafted Christian journal, designed for those striving to deepen their bond with God amidst the ebbs and flows of daily life. Dive deep into Scripture, with each page presenting a thought-provoking Bible verse, anchoring your reflections and guiding your spiritual exploration. Offering designated spaces for journaling feelings, setting faith-based goals, logging prayers, and expressing gratitude, this comprehensive guide becomes your tool to navigate the Christian pathway.
• 52 Christ-Centred Date Ideas (Orange)
• 52 Christ-Centred Date Ideas (Dark Grey) - Building a Christ-centred relationship in today’s world can be challenging but dating with intention and faith can set the foundation for a strong, God-honouring marriage. 52 Christ-Centred Date Ideas is designed to help couples grow spiritually, strengthen their bond and honour God in their journey together.
• It All Starts With Submission | Podcast on Spotify - Welcome to “It All Starts With Submission.” This podcast is a public conversation with myself to keep me accountable. I hope that a few years from now, I’ll be able to listen to these episodes and see consistent growth in my relationship with Christ. My hope for all those listening is to be challenged to be intentional with their daily submission to Jesus and to ask themselves relevant questions. God has written our path before He placed us in our mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5) and it’s important to keep seeking His face and trust that all will fall into place (Proverbs 3:5-6).
• Blessing Platinum-Williams YouTube
• Blessing Platinum-Williams LinkedIn
• Blessing Platinum-Williams Instagram

References to Bible Verses:

2 Corinthians 12:9

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Introduction

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Jason: Right. Thank you for listening and welcome to the podcast. I am your host, Jason McConnell. Have you ever met someone that is so filled with joy? It just absolutely overflows. My guest today is just such a person.

Today, we have the privilege of speaking with blessing platinum Williams. She has led a very eventful life in her short time on this earth has been gifted with the wisdom to cling to God and every step of her life.

She's an author. And in fact, her and her husband recently released a book, 52 Christ centered date ideas, which are 52 meaningful and faith filled date ideas to build a Christ centered relationship from the very beginning. And prepare for a godly marriage. Basically, it's a Christian dating guide. It's awesome.

Plus, as you will see, she is a great conversationalist, has a wonderful personality, and I'm super excited to get this started. So let's, let's talk to Blessing.

Meet Blessing

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Jason: So welcome Blessing. Thank you.

Blessing: Hello, Jason. Thank you.

Jason: So appreciate you gifting us your time today. Well, tonight for you,

Blessing: yes. Thank you. I honestly, I really appreciate it. And I'm excited. I've been excited all week. Well, for ages, I guess. But yes, I'm really excited.

Jason: That's great. I'm glad to hear that.

Blessing's Favorite Bible Verse

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Jason: I like to let the listeners get to know my guests and I do like to start with the favorite Bible verse and I, I misprinted it in the email. I promise to get it right. It's 2nd Corinthians 12 verse 9 and he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect and weakness.

Therefore, most gladly, I will rather boast in my infirmities. But the power of Christ may rest upon me. So what makes this verse so important to you?

Blessing: So, it means that it's okay for me to not have all the answers. It's okay for me to be weak because I feel like in this day and age, they, everyone expects all of us to have all the answers and to be strong and you know, you're so strong, you should be strong. I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not. Um, and I've had so many.

experiences where I'm just like, okay, all I need to do is trust in God. If I don't lean on my own understanding and I just trust in God, then I'll be okay. Um, so yes, I love that. I just love it because I know that he is actually made stronger. His power is made stronger when I am weak and when I acknowledge and accept that I am weak.

So yeah, like it's just, If I have, I can honestly, I actually like, I've got a list of things that I can share of like times and I'm just like, okay, God, um, I don't know how to do this. I need you. I need you to help me. I don't know what to do. I need you. And yeah, yeah, the God is good.

Jason: Yeah. It's like the more weaknesses I have, the more room there is for God. It's great.

Blessing: It's, it just gives him, it's like, show off, show off through me, God, use me. I love it.

Jason: I love it.

Blessing's Spiritual Journey

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Jason: So you were raised Christian. You, you made the decision at the age of 19 to really live for Christ. And I've noticed something interesting. I've noticed talking to other guests is that many people seem to be raised in a faith based home. They, they eventually reach a point where they have this kind of.

Abandonment of their parents relationship with God. And they begin their own. And I'm just curious, is that what happened with you or was it something else?

Blessing: Well, as a child, my mother brought me up as a Christian. However, there was a, I, I'm a, I'm a British Nigerian. So my mother mixed a lot of African spirituality with that. So it wasn't purely Christian.

Jason: Got

Blessing: So we, as soon as I actually did. Like, get born again. So, you know, I gave my life to Christ at 19. Um, we used to butt heads a lot because I, my eyes were open to kind of like, the things that weren't of God, right?

Um, it's quite common for n Um, for for Nigerians to mix African spirituality with Christianity, they think it's perfectly acceptable and it's not because it's just wrong. Um, you know, you can't have two gods. You can't. It's just no, it's Jesus. And that's it.

Jason: Yes. I think, I think people in India have a similar struggle with, with Christianity because, you know, they, they have multiple thousands of gods. Uh, and it's, it's hard for them to understand. No, there's just this one, the rest of them. You, you, you gotta leave them alone.

Blessing: Exactly. And it's very, it's a very difficult concept. Um, but I was brought up with my mother doing that. However, Um, my personal experience, because I was brought up with a single mother, um, my personal experience was God as my father instead of my saviour. So before I was born again, at 19, my experience was I don't have a dad.

So you're my only dad. And you know, God, like I need a coat. I'm going to pray for this particular coat. And then all of a sudden my mum will come, come home with that one coat that I prayed for. I'm like, Oh my gosh, God, that's so cool. And like, you know, so those are the kind of experiences that I had as a child.

And there was a time when my mum was warlock, but I feel like that's, I don't know if I should go into that. Do you want me to go into it?

Jason: It's up to you. Whatever you want to share. I was going to ask, you know, anything about your upbringing that, that seems important, go ahead and throw it on

Overcoming Challenges with Faith

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Blessing: Yeah, because I feel like that, that experience really cemented the importance of prayer and fasting. So my mother was married to a warlock for about four years.

Um, and it, there was a lot of, um. There's a lot of like, witchcraft happening in my household, and because of that, I started to cook a lot. So I would cook for my brother and I, um, refusing to eat anything that he was cooking because I knew him, I'm quite observant, and I noticed that whenever he would cook, my mother would become less, um, argumentative or less or whatever.

It was just like a form of control. Um, so I just chose to cook for my brother and I, uh, quite a young age. Um, but then it started to get quite bad. I just realized that my mother was declining. Um, and it was just, it, It just seemed like we were getting deeper and deeper into a black hole. So I decided that I was going to fast and I told my brother, we need to fast for a week.

And what we're praying for is from whatever witchcraft that he has on mom, we need it to be broken so that she then demands that we fast because that's what she used to always do before he was around and then he's going to leave. So my brother and I would pray and fast and we prayed and fasted for a whole week and then at the end of that week, my mother, it was almost like she woke up and she was like, we need, we need to pray and fast.

And my brother and I looked at each other. Like, What? This is so cool. Right? Because we're like, God, we prayed and fasted and you literally answered. And then we prayed and fasted. And this man who was married to my mother couldn't actually physically enter our home.

Jason: Wow.

Blessing: It was a very. Interesting experience.

And my brother and I were like, wow. Um, you'd think that having that experience would be like, right, I'm going to be born again. Now, you know, I'm going to give my life to Christ, but that wasn't the time. I, I really, I believe that was when I was like 17, 18 when that happened. Um, yeah, about 17. Um, and yeah, I started to, I went to university, um, and I joined a church.

It wasn't really a church. I would call, I personally call it a cult, but, um, it was, I did join this church and in the church, um, that's where I gave my life to Christ. Um, but the thing is my journey, you know, I don't think I was mentally prepared for what that actually meant. You know, at 19, I didn't, I don't think I completely understood that, okay, I need to literally live for him and, and, you know, basically say no to my own personal desires in the sense of, you know, put on my own cross and live for him.

Walk with him. Um, and I, and I don't think I was prepared for that, you know, mentally. And because of that, there was loads of ups and downs. You know, I've actually rededicated my life to Christ again. I rededicate every single day because I'm like, look, God, I'm here again, you know, but last, um, last year was when I, Um, when my husband and I were said, okay, you know what we were, we were reflecting on a lot of things that we had like a moment of reflection and we were like, we need to completely live our lives for him, whatever we were doing, whatever we've been doing, it's, we need to dedicate our life.

to him. Um, so that was last year, but I do always check my, you know, I think it was like Psalm 139, you know, um, search my heart. Oh Lord. Like, you know, is there anything? So I

Jason: what you're talking about.

Blessing: I do that every day. I'm like, Lord, is there anything that, you know, am I, I need to, you know, fix up on, but yeah, that's what I do on a daily basis, just in case, you know,

Jason: That's good. That's good. Yeah. I, I mean, I, I promise the listeners you are told the listeners you had an extensive life experience and I wasn't kidding. So, but we did, we had a pre interview call. I had a great time. I think we went over our normal. My normal time, uh, which was good. I, you know, we had a good conversation.

I think you have a wonderful personality. I'm really excited to, to get diving into this.

Blessing's Marriage and Dating Insights

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Jason: So when, when you and I talked before, it seemed like the most fruitful conversation we could have was surrounding. Dating in marriage, especially in light of your book, uh, in the context of dating to prepare for a Christ centered marriage.

Um, but you, you had told me you didn't have anyone there to guide you through this, like you and your husband had to figure this out on your own, right?

Blessing: Yep. It's been a journey. It's been a long journey. It's been a very long journey. Um, yeah. So my mother, like I said, she's a single, she was a single mother. And even if I ask her today, she's like, she calls me princess. So she's, she was like, she says, princess, you can probably give me more advice than I can give you.

You know? So she says that to me. So she's very, um, open with that. And she knows that she can't necessarily support me in that way. Um, and we didn't have any like spiritual elders that we could really go to at that point. Now we do thank God. Um, yeah, but at that point we didn't have any spiritual elders that we can speak to.

So it's, we, I would say that we've only just recently gotten some spiritual elders and since September. But, so,

Jason: at least they're there now,

Blessing: I know, right? You know, I mean, we've been married for like 14 years,

Jason: late than never.

Blessing: better late than never. But yes,

Jason: Yeah, speaking of your marriage, like you had, like when you and your, you saw your husband, God gave you a message. I don't want any spoilers

Blessing: yes.

Jason: because I love the story and I love the way you tell it. I was hoping you would share that

Blessing: Yes. Okay. So my, my friend, she actually said that she knows somebody that would be actually a really good business partner for me because like my husband and I, we were both in. Types of like business and stuff so she thought that she was kind of introducing us as future business partners And which is you know, we still are we run a business together, I guess so we are still business partners

Jason: I mean, it worked.

Blessing: Exactly So she was showing me his picture on Facebook and immediately in my heart.

God told me That's your husband. Okay. So when that happened, I said to my friend, Oh, um, can you tell him to add me on Facebook? So he added me on Facebook and the thing is my name, my surname prior to marriage was platinum and he was always called. Platinum Mike

Jason: Okay.

Blessing: and very, it was very, it was one of those things that I was like, right.

So his friends used to call him platinum Mike because he was into music. So that was kind of like his, you know, producer name kind of thing. And he sent me his, because he was into like Photoshop and editing and I used to do a little bit of modeling. This is when I was quite young. He asked me for one of my images so that he can edit it.

And I said, okay. He gave, so I said, give me your email address and his email address said platinum mic at yeah. Anyways. So

Jason: You don't give it out to

Blessing: yeah, I know, right. So, um, I said, did you make that email from me? It sounded. Dreamy. Conceited. But that's exactly what I said. I said, did you make that email for me? And he said, no, I've always been platinum Mike.

I was like, well, my surname is actually platinum. And he was like, really? I was like, yeah, it's not. I didn't, you know, I didn't just put it there. That's actually my surname. And then I said, By the way, um, God told me that you're my husband.

Jason: That's quite the icebreaker.

Blessing: he was like, yeah, um, I was kind of, because he's, he was shy when I met him. He always says he's, he wasn't shy, but he was shy when I met him. And he said, well, I was waiting for you to say something because God. Told me that you're my wife. I was like, well, see that's we've already kind of understood the assignment

Jason: Yeah. You guys got it.

Blessing: Let's just keep it moving, you know, so that was what 16 years later 16 years later

Jason: Still working. It's still

Blessing: working. You know, we're each other's best friends. It's it's been a great marriage loads of ups and downs because you know, I was 19, when I said that to him, so, um, we got married when, um, we were 22, so we were both 22.

So it's been a journey of growth, you know, we'll, we had to grow together

Jason: Oh yeah. I could see that. I mean, that's any marriage, especially when you're, when you start young, but it's good for you guys. So I'm glad you're, you're still making it work. And, and that's a great story.

Blessing: Yeah. We, we have to be intentional. I feel like, because people like to. People romanticize marriage in the sense of they make it seem like it's always supposed to be perfect. But I think it's the fact that we're intentionally working on the marriage. Intentionally, you know, one of the things that we did from the very first moment that we started dating is fasting for the marriage.

We fast, and this was before we were actually married, we would fast every week, like one, one day a week for our relationship. And we've been doing that. Consistently for 16 years.

Jason: Wow. Seriously.

Blessing: Yeah. So like,

Jason: that's amazing.

Blessing: so we do that. So we have like one day a week where we fast and pray specifically for that marriage. And the thing is, is that because I think because God told us you're supposed to be husband and wife, we knew, okay, well, we're supposed to be married, so let's pray.

And yeah, that's what we've been doing.

Jason: Yeah. Just making room for God in that marriage. And that, that's, that's amazing.

Blessing: Yeah.

The Story Behind the Book

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Jason: So you, you and your husband released this book, Christ centered date ideas. 52 ideas specifically designed to kind of foster this relationship that constantly puts Christ at the center of it and prepares the two people for marriage.

If, you know, if it gets to that point, give us a high level overview, what, like, what's this book about?

Blessing: so a lot of the dates have been done. We've already done most of these dates. So we just thought, okay, let's, you know, all the dates that we've done. We've kind of just thrown them in the book. Not all, because there was a point when we were like, okay, we need to cut this down. Um, there was, there was way more ideas initially.

I think there was like, I think we wrote down, because we just jotted them down at some point of like different ideas that we thought were good and ideas that we thought would be better in a group setting. So we did that as well. And we probably had over like 200 ideas initially, and then we had to choose 52

Jason: Wow.

Blessing: for the book um and The main reason for the book was purely based on the fact that we felt like we needed this type of guidance when we were dating um, there was a lot of Um, I'd say that it was quite difficult for us to completely keep the relationship as pure as it should have been purely based on the fact that there was parts when we were inside together without a chaperone or without another person.

So in the book, exactly. So in the book, um, the, I, the dates that are inside are with. another couple or is in a group setting.

Sunset Walks and Worship Music

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Blessing: Um, and that is, we believe that's the best way to. do things. So if we're out, if you're outside, you're outside in public, you know, one of my favorite dates is the sunset walk. Um, and it's, it's basically a sunset, um, worship walk.

My husband and I, we have a tent. We love going on walks. We actually hike on a regular basis. That's our thing. Um, and we felt like this could be a really good way to. One, understand, you know, like first, like, what type of music are you into? Whether you're going to listen to like some worship music, what type of music are you into?

That's a really cute thing to start off with. Um, so some, you know, what's your favorite worship, you know, type of, you know, there's, there's so many different types, you know, you might like hill song, you might like elevation, you know, every, there's all different types. Um, and. It's also a way to talk because walking, you can't just, you know, some people might walk in silence because, you know, whatever you're into, but there's nothing wrong with awkward silence, by the way, because I feel like a lot of people feel very icked out

Jason: Yeah. I feel like I have to fill that silence with something.

Blessing: Yeah. And sometimes it's fine. It's okay. Like sometimes just listen to music and just being in the presence of the Lord together can kind of get you started with marriage as well. Because when you're married, you might not actually always be talking like this.

Jason: you have run out of things to talk about.

Blessing: Exactly, sometimes you might just like be in each other's presence and just love the fact that you're in each other's presence and it's okay, it's okay to have a moment when you're not talking, it's okay to have a moment of just Enjoying the presence of the Lord, but at the same time together, you know, um, and at the same time getting to like, look at the main, like how awesome God is and how intricate his designs are, you know, God's an amazing designer and you look at the sky, you look at like, like what really came up with all of this is also, you know,

Jason: Right.

Blessing: so, um, yeah, that's actually one of my favorite ones.

Group Potluck and Testimony Night

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Blessing: And then there's, um, another one, which is a group one, which is actually. Um, like a dinner is kind of like a potluck. So everybody comes with food, but at the same time, um, it's like a testimony night. So as a group, we're all sharing testimonies and, you know, have you ever had one of those nights when you're Just having deep conversation with your friends, you know,

Jason: Oh, yeah.

Blessing: great night.

It's a great night

Jason: Yep. Absolutely.

Blessing: So we thought that that would be a great date night but in a group setting is it

Jason: That's great. No, that's, that's awesome.

The Significance of Different Book Colors

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Jason: Um, I did notice when I was looking for the book, it comes in a couple of different versions. There's a dark gray and an orange, and I, I'm just wondering, is there a significance between those two or do you guys just couldn't settle on a color and you did both?

Blessing: there's definitely a reason for it. So we believe that this book, um, you know when Two people should have it. So, you know, you're like the man and the woman should both have their own personal copies so that you can write down a reflection after each date. Um, but if you've perhaps had like a negative experience, for example, and you both have the same color book.

Jason: Oh, you might get them

Blessing: you might get them mixed up and then

Jason: think about that.

Blessing: and then the last thing you want is that you take one home and then she's going through the book or he's going through the book and he's like, wait a minute, you know, but the thing is at the same time, you know, by the time you get through 52 dates, um, it, it, it, it's nice to see perhaps the change, like a change of opinions or maybe, Um, the growth in the relationships and stuff like that.

And then maybe like by the time you guys get married, you can like reflect on what you guys wrote on each date. So it's just a, it's a cute keepsake basically, but it was definitely intentional because we didn't want anybody to get it mixed

Jason: books mixed up. That's really smart. I didn't even think about that.

Blessing: We just thought, Oh my gosh, just imagine, you know, let's say you've gone on that one day and the thing is, each date is to draw you closer to the Lord, right? So in the word it says, my sheep will hear my voice. So if you've now got close and closer to the Lord and the Lord says. Yeah, this is not the one for you and you write it in the book and then you both have the same color.

Jason: Yeah.

Blessing: And then he, she takes it and she's like, Oh, he takes it and he's like, Oh, I really thought, you know,

Jason: Yeah. That could be embarrassing for sure.

Blessing: yeah. But the thing is, is that it's what we wrote. We wrote this in a book. Yes, the Lord might say that this is not the person, but it's, it shouldn't be seen as a bad thing because one, you've heard the Lord. Yay, you know, still were lighted and two, you, you can, I don't think people should burn bridges because just because that person is not the person for you doesn't mean, you know, you might be able to introduce them to somebody in the future, but Oh my gosh, I know this great person, this person, my brother in Christ, my sister in Christ, you know, this is a great person that I want to introduce you to this person.

And then it's kind of like, we're all. You know, it doesn't have to be a negative thing. It can always be a positive, you know?

Jason: No, that makes total sense. That's so smart.

Serving Together at Soup Kitchens

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Jason: I would have never thought of that, but, but yeah, no, you, and I think you had mentioned one of the dates in our call was like, uh, we're going to soup kitchen together. Cause some of, some of them are intentionally put you in a position of service.

Blessing: yes. And I feel like we should all be willing to serve, right?

Jason: Oh,

Blessing: I, and I, and even, you know, when, I, I feel like when you can observe how somebody acts around certain people, it can, it, it just, or people going through different experiences, different seasons, Um, it says a lot about that person's fruit, you know, cause you know, you'll know them by their fruits, right? And if you, if that person feels like, Oh, because I'm not. In this position to, you know, because I don't need to go to a soup kitchen, you know, I'm better than these people. You never know, you know, nobody ever wants to obviously be in a position where you have to go to a soup kitchen. But the thing is ever the seasons, right?

You have. good seasons, you have bad seasons and the people, you know, that are going to the soup kitchens, they're just going through a season and seasons always come to an end, you know, and the thing is, is that we always need to be in the, we need to just have a heart to give and a heart to serve. And if somebody is not, if somebody perhaps has a hardened heart or if somebody is not in, if somebody doesn't believe that they should serve, I really feel like that's telling because even in a marriage.

You have to be selfless.

Jason: Yeah. The marriage is, I mean, it's ultimate service.

Blessing: Exactly. Like whenever I meet people, for example, I meet a lot of women these days that say, Oh, I don't want to be my husband's second mom. I'm like the fact that you already have that mindset, you're not ready for marriage because it's not even about that. You shouldn't see it like that. You see, as I'm here to do my part, he's doing his part.

At the end of the day, both part of This is a moving train, we're all working together to keep it moving, you know?

Jason: Yeah, absolutely. I love your, I love your approach to things. I love your attitude. You know, I fully agree. I have some of the most joyful moments when I'm engaged in some form of service. If it's handing out backpacks to kids that, that need it for school, if it's going down to a park with, uh, we have a group that goes into a park and they, they serve the homeless, uh, food, uh, whatever it is, you know, that there's joy to be had in that.

And it's also a reminder that, you know, some people don't have it as well as. I do. And it's really important, really important that, that I take advantage of my wellbeing to, to help lift somebody else up. That's a gift from God. Cause I could easily be in the, in the gutter. Uh, eating on a, out of a soup kitchen.

Blessing: Exactly. And this is the thing. I feel like a lot of people have a very short term or kind of like, they, they just want to look at the present. Right. And I do understand that in the Bible says, think of all that is good. All that is kind, all that, you know, all that I do understand that, but at the same time.

There are seasons and the Bible talks about seasons all the time and sometimes you have a season where you have very little and sometimes you have a season where you have very, you have a lot. And when I, you know, whenever I have the opportunity to give or to serve, I just know that there has been times that I've had very little as well.

And there's been people that have given to me. You know, um, and it's just a matter of all of us in the body of Christ being of that nature understanding that we need to give if God gives us we're purely stewards of wealth, if God gives us wealth, he doesn't expect it to be hoarded or to be spent on some expensive handbag.

He expects us to steward it and to use it for his kingdom. And whether that is. You know, by, you know, creating, you know, hampers where you can help the homeless or whether that is helping somebody pay their bills. If you have that much, if you have more than why not, you know, um, but yeah, that's my perspective.

And I just feel like seasons understanding that there are seasons, but the thing is about seasons as well as that's in marriage as well. If you understand seasons. When people go through like times of lack or times of abundance, you'll understand in marriage, sometimes in marriage, you have times when things are amazing and sometimes in marriage, you have things, times when things are really, really bad and understanding that God will get you through.

Each season, as long as you hold on to him and as long as you cling on to him, desperately cling on to him, then you will get through.

Jason: Yeah, that's, that's awesome.

Preparing to be a Christian Wife

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Jason: So, um, during our pre interview call, uh, I had to laugh because I had found a Udemy course called preparing to be a Christian wife, and I, it made me curious about what you do have to say about what's important to know, entering into a marriage and, and becoming that Christian wife.

Blessing: Yes. And you know what? Funny enough, I know this is so embarrassing to say, but I completely forgot that I actually made that course when you said that to me. And my husband said to me, by the way, don't say that, don't say that today, but I did. I was like,

Jason: That's okay. I'm putting, I'm putting the link in the show notes to your book, to, to the course. I'm going to throw the Udemy course in there. Like go listen to it. It's fine. It'll probably great.

Blessing: Yes, and the thing is, when I made the course, I think God did place it on my heart to make the course. Um, and my husband, he's always like, you need to talk about the course more because God's told you to make the course. So you need to talk about the course more. Um, I think when I made it, I made it and I was like, okay, I've done it now, God, bye, you know, um,

Jason: Peace out.

Blessing: um, my mindset when it comes to preparing to be a Christian wife is purely based on.

Understanding that you need to be close to God before you actually get married. So it's really focusing on your personal relationship with God. So throughout the course, I just talk about that. I talk about your personal relationship with God and your mental state because A lot of people bring, you know, perhaps past experiences, past marriage, um, like, you know, past relationships or whatever, um, into their marriages and, you know, everybody comes with some type of trauma, you know, but it's just the fact that.

A lot of people are not self aware of that, and I think because they aren't self, they aren't self aware, they think that they're perfect. And the thing is, nobody's perfect, and if you know that you're not perfect, then it means that you will have room to grow. And that was basically, that's basically what I talk about in the course, you know, understanding that it's very important to be accountable, to be, to, um, grow spiritually and grow mentally.

And, you know, there's, it's, it's very, I find that's the most important thing before actually going into a marriage, before even thinking about dating, you need to get closer to, like, just try to get as close to God as possible. And to build your spiritual walk with him, because then that way, if you're reading the Bible, if you're praying, if you're fasting, then you'll be able to hear clearly from God.

You know, the closer you go, because sometimes it might not be that he's speaking to you audibly. It might be through just knowing, you know, or there's so many ways that God can communicate to his sheep, because my sheep will hear my voice, you know. Um, so there's so many ways that God will speak to us.

And I think it's important for. any future wife, any person to, you know, cling to God and to just be in obedience to God. If you're obedient to God, then everything else will be fine. That's my mindset. You know, you'd be obedient and submitted to God. So what I mean by obedient is If God's telling you to do something, you don't be like Jonah and run away, the opposite way, end up in a big fish, because you don't think that these people deserve redemption.

And the thing is, is that understanding that, you know, if God says, go right, you go right, because God's, God knows best, basically,

Jason: Yeah. It's, it's having that trust and, you know, and I like to clarify, you know, God has filled the Bible with promises to, to protect us. And we have to understand that that doesn't necessarily mean here in this world, his protection is ultimately a spiritual home that will, that will be able to go to each for eternity.

Uh, and yes, he will bless us in this life. He will do things, but then there are times where he'll step back and we have to, we have to find our way through struggles. And, and I think he allows that

Blessing: For refinement.

Jason: yeah, for refinement, but also, you know, in, you know, given the case of you, you know, you didn't have anyone there to, to really coach you.

So you and your husband had to really figure it out. And, and now you're turning around and sharing that with us. So he's built something through, through your sacrifice, basically. And, and sometimes it's that, and it's not always pretty and it's not always fair, but God is always fair and there's a purpose to it.

Blessing: Yeah, he's good. And the thing is, when we say that God is good, it's not just that, Oh, you know, God is good because my life is perfect. No, God is good because regardless of my life and how it is, it's always going to work out for my good. So it might not be perfect right now, but it's going to work out for my good.

Jason: There you go.

Finding Love as a Christian Nerd

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Jason: So, so I have, I have one last question. Um, you know, I'm, I'm going to give a shout out here. I'm, I'm actually in a Facebook group. It's called dating for Christian nerds. Uh, they have a discord server that compliments the group. So quick shout out to my friends over there. Um, hi, you're right.

Hi. One of the struggles, a lot of these brothers and sisters in Christ. Um, I mean, the list of challenges in Roblox go on, I mean, do you, do you have any advice for, you know, how do you, how do you find that person? Or is it just, God will give it to you when, when you're ready,

Blessing: I feel like I'm literally the worst person to ask this question to because I've been with my husband for 16 years. Um, and whenever I've heard stories of dating and stuff like that, it does sound pretty tough. I, like, it does. Um, if I was single, I think I would probably go to things like comic con and dress up because I'm, I'm, I love dressing up in costumes and stuff.

So my husband, okay. If I was single, cause I'm always thinking about my husband. So if I was single, I'd probably dress up and go to comic con and know that, okay, if I find another, if I meet other people, cause I'm quite sociable anyway. So I go and I talk to people. I might know that, I might meet people, I might meet somebody that is a Christian and I already know that we don't take ourselves too seriously because we are in costume, you know, for example,

Jason: I love that

Blessing: and then that way it's already a good way to start a friendship that can grow into something, you know, I feel like always jumping into a relationship straight away shouldn't be it, perhaps starting as a friends and growing that way, um, And I also think mutual, mutual connections, mutual friendships, you know, for example, you've got this discord group.

I'm sure that there's one person you know. That you can introduce to somebody and I'm sure there's another person like if you guys had like a thing where we say, okay You know what? Let's all Introduce our friends. Let's look for somebody that we know is single

Jason: and bring them

Blessing: and bring them in

Jason: I love that. So you are good at this and it's funny that you mentioned comic con because we, my daughter and I, we can, uh, so ago went to Phoenix fan fusion or no, uh, the Renaissance festival then in June, we're going to comic con here in Arizona. So

Blessing: so cool honestly,

Jason: of nerds,

Blessing: I love that though, I'm a nerd too and I feel like Nerds are the coolest people. That's the thing. We're cool because we don't take ourselves too seriously. And if we call ourselves, if we call ourselves nerds, then that means that we're cooler than everybody that thinks that they're cool.

Cool people that call themselves cool are not cool, you know? Yeah,

Jason: tell people I want to get a t shirt that says. I was a nerd before nerds were cool.

Blessing: exactly.

Jason: be a great shirt.

Blessing: You know, I feel like it's, yeah, that's probably what I would do. But at the same time, like I've said, I don't know because I have not dated for, I've dated my husband, but I haven't been single since I was 19.

Jason: Yeah, that's fair. And, but that's a good idea. I mean, if we, if we each said, Hey, I've got this great group, I have this, this thing in common, you're a nerd, you're single, you're Christian. Hey, come join this group. And you might find somebody who might get better results. I don't know. That's, that's a good idea.

Blessing: Yeah, because that's how I technically met my husband through a mutual friend. So I feel like mutual friends are, even though it's old school, I think it's still, it must still work surely.

Final Words and Farewell

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Jason: I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. I feel like you and I could talk for hours. Um, but I know it's late there. I want to give you your space. Um, but as we wrap this up, do you have any final words for our listeners?

Blessing: My okay. Yes, I do have final words. I want you guys to give yourself grace. I say this every single time I have the opportunity to because I feel like a lot of people are so hard on themselves. And if you think about the disciples that hung around Jesus, they were with Jesus. all the time. Peter still cut the ear of that guy and he was with, and he was with Jesus all the time.

Jason: Peter's my favorite. He's such a wild card.

Blessing: It's such a wild card. So if Jesus was like, chill, like, come on, like, do you really have to do that? That means Jesus will give you grace. If Jesus can hang out with someone like Peter, then you are fine. Okay.

Jason: Good advice. Good advice. Yep. So I want to, I want to thank Blessing for joining us today. Be sure to check out the book, 52 Christ Centered Date Ideas. Make sure you buy a different color than whoever you're dating. Um, I have all of that information in the show notes, including her social media. Plus, she's got some great videos you can watch on YouTube.

Uh, just go, go to the show notes, click all the stuff. You won't, you won't be sorry. Blessing again. Thank you so much for joining us today. I had a great time. I really appreciate the wisdom and the experience God has gifted you. Uh, God bless you.

Blessing: Thank you so much, Jason. It's been honestly a pleasure. And I would love to come back if you'd have me, but yes.

Jason: Absolutely. How's tomorrow? No, I'm just kidding.

Blessing: Honestly, yes. It's been such a pleasure and speaking to you. It's just, you're just lovely. You're lovely. So,

Jason: thank you so much. I

Blessing: you.

Jason: As for the rest of you listeners until next time, keep loving your neighbors, dive into God's word daily and may the Lord bless you and keep you and fill you with his peace. Take care. God bless. And I'll see you in the next episode.