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When Pricing Feels Personal: Separating Self-Worth from What You Charge
Episode 148th September 2025 • The Pricing Lady • Janene Liston
00:00:00 00:15:02

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Speaker:

In this episode of The Pricing

Lady Podcast, we talk about when

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Pricing feels personal, separating

self-worth from what you charge.

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We all know our mindset can get

in the way, and being able to

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separate your self-worth from your

Pricing will help you move forward

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with more confidence and ease.

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Sit back, relax, and enjoy the episode.

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Hello and welcome to The

Pricing Lady Podcast.

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I'm Janene, your hostess.

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This show is all about helping you turn

pricing confusion into clarity so you can

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grow your business with more confidence.

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Today we are talking about when

pricing feels personal, separating

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self-worth from what you charge.

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Let's get real.

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If you've ever thought

or said to yourself.

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This is my price, but I can be flexible

or I feel weird asking that much.

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You are definitely not alone.

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A lot of people feel that way.

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For service-based entrepreneurs,

especially women, pricing

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often feels very personal.

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After all, you are the one doing the work.

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It's your expertise, it's your

energy and it's your name.

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When someone hesitates or says no

or pushes back on your offer, it's

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hard not to take it personally.

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That's exactly why this episode matters.

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Because when pricing feels personal,

you tend to undercharge, apologize and

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overexplain, over deliver to compensate

for how you feel or avoid raising

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prices even when you know you should.

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Many people will tell you

you need a thicker skin.

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You don't need a thicker skin.

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You need a better lens.

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One that lets you price

with clarity, not emotion.

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Let me replete that.

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You need a better lens, one

that allows you to price with

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clarity instead of emotion.

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Let's take a look at how this

shows up in your business.

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I've got five ways I'm going to share

with you that I see this shows up in

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people's business and don't think that

I haven't done some of these things

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myself, because I definitely have.

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It's why I'm so familiar with them.

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Okay, so the first one is you

feel nervous quoting your price.

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Sometimes even I still feel nervous

quoting my price, especially when I'm

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doing something I haven't done before.

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Maybe you go shy, your voice softens,

you over explain, or you rush to cover

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the silence when there is silence, 'cause

you're afraid of getting that rejection.

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This is one way in which it shows up.

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Pay attention to how you are behaving.

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Number two, you drop the price

mid-conversation, or even before

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the conversation has started.

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I've had clients who have done

that, who offer discounts before

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they even set out the offer.

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So you fear or you sense hesitation on the

part of the client, and you offer a dis a

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discount that's not even been asked for.

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Third, you struggle to explain

why it costs, what it costs.

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You're so wrapped up in you.

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It feels weird to try and justify it.

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A lot of times people come to me and

they say, oh, Janene, I need a list

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of arguments to justify my price.

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Like, no, no, no, you don't.

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You're RA so wrapped up in.

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Defending yourself and your position

that you forget that this is actually

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you know, mutually beneficial.

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You're trying to find a mutually

beneficial solution for both of

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you rooted in trust and value.

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So if you struggle to explain why

it costs what it costs, it could be

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because you're too focused on yourself.

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Fourth, you personally feel

rejected when you hear no.

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So instead of thinking it's not a good

fit or it wasn't the right time for

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the client, you automatically default

to, I'm not good enough, or I'm doing

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something wrong, or what am I doing wrong?

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Right?

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So if you feel personally rejected

by each and every no, you get that.

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Of course, you're tying your pricing

a bit too much to your own self-worth.

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And the fifth one is you avoid

increasing prices even when the results

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or your experience justifies it.

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If there's evidence that shows that you

should, and you're still avoiding it.

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Then it feels like you're, you

know, by raising your prices, you

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might be thinking to yourself, I'm

worth more, so I have to raise them.

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And that might feel uncomfortable, but

it's not about you being worth more.

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You were born worthy.

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You have always been worthy,

and you always will be worthy

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when you're raising prices.

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You're usually either trying to align to

where you should be, or you've built more

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into what you're offering, you're, you're

getting people better results and you need

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to reposition yourself for that reason.

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It's actually has nothing to do with you

personally, but again, you've created

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this very strong bond between your own

self worth and what you charge, and that's

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messing up, for lack of a better phrase,

what you're doing with your pricing.

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So those are five ways it shows up.

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You feel nervous quoting your price,

you dropped price, mid-conversation.

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You struggle to explain why

it costs, what it wa costs.

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You feel personally

rejected when you hear no.

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Or you've avoided increasing prices

even when you know you should be.

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Okay.

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So that's how it shows up and how

you can identify if this is something

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that's happening in your business.

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Now let's shift modes and let's look

at three tips for how you can start

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to shift your perspective without

feeling like you're selling your soul.

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Right?

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So tip number one, you want

to externalize the offer.

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So you are not your pricing

and your pricing is not you.

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So what does that look like?

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I'm sure you've thought to myself at some

point in time, yeah, Janene, I know this.

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I know I should do this,

but I just don't know how.

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Well, here's one way that you can start.

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So write it out.

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Your offer that is, write out your

offer like it's a product, like

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you're completely detached from it.

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Problem.

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What problems does it solve?

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What results does it create?

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What journey do people go on with you?

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What's included?

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What tools and systems and things like

that, and write it in the third person.

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So instead of saying, I'll help

you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

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you say you are going to get.

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This program delivers our

coaching can help you do this.

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When we work together, we

will go through this process.

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Yeah.

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Or you'll go through this process.

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So create it in a third person

language and create consistent

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pricing rules for yourself.

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So make sure there's some boundaries.

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I'm going to come back

to that in a moment.

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'cause it's actually tip number three.

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So tip number two is to

recognize your emotional pricing

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triggers and prepare for it.

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This is such a big thing.

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Now, if you follow me, you know that

I love telling people to prepare

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for such things, and it's true.

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The reason I recommend

it is because it works.

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So what does that look like?

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So, first of all, you have to notice.

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When it is that you're getting

triggered and how you're

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responding when you get triggered.

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So is it before this discussion

happens, is it before you were even

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pre, before you've even prepared the

offer or while you're preparing it?

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Is it during the conversation?

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Is it only with certain offers or

only with certain types of clients.

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Sit down and really think about where

you're getting triggered and what the

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response looks like when you're triggered.

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Is it discounting?

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Is it stumbling over your words?

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Is it procrastination?

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Hello, I'm, I'm one of those who I

procrastinate when I feel uncomfortable.

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Name what's going on?

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Are you feeling rejected?

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Are you wanting to be liked?

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Are you feeling guilty

about the money somehow.

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Or are you afraid of the success?

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There's lots of reasons why these things

happen, and be honest with yourself.

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You don't have to share it with

anyone if you don't want to.

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The honesty is important here.

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Then decide, okay, in this specific

situation, so let's say I'm prepared

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an offer for a client, I'm nervous

about sending it because I'm

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afraid they're going to reject it.

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So I'll just add a discount up front.

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You're going to create a

little plan for yourself.

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You say, I will not be offering discounts

before I've sent the offer to a client.

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Right?

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That's going to be one of your

golden rules for, for example.

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If that's one of your trigger points.

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You want to decide how

you want to run a respond.

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The third tip then, of course,

is to create boundaries.

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Before we go into that, let me just

say one thing, preparing for how you'll

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deal with the emotional triggers helps

take the pressure off of future you.

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This is really important.

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This isn't about memorization.

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It is about taking the pressure

off of yourself at a time

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when you feel triggered.

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When you feel triggered, it's easy

to fall into those old habits, but

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if you prepared for how you want to

respond in that situation, you're much

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less likely to fall into that habit.

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Okay.

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Let's look at tip number

three, which is set boundaries

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that support your confidence.

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When you are clear with your

limits, it becomes easier

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to lead with calm authority.

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Yeah, to lead with calmness.

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I love that.

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Without them, it's easy to give in to

people pleasing and to over deliver or

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to get overly generous with discount...

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unnecessary discounts.

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Let me be clear.

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Prepare yourself.

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Again we're back on the preparation,

helping future you prepare go-to

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lines for discount questions.

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If you're used to or occasionally

get questions, can you

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offer me a discount on this?

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Then prepare.

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How can I respond?

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What's one way or what's three ways

I could respond to that question?

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One could I can be silent.

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Just let it sit there.

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Chances are the other person

will try to cover the silence.

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Or you can say, that's interesting.

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Why do you think my offer is

worth less than what I'm charging?

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Right?

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There's lots of different ways that

you could handle that discussion.

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By the way, I do have a workbook on

pricing objections, i'll put the link

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in the show notes for this episode, that

could help you come up with some of these.

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There's lots of scripts and and content in

there to give you ideas for this as well.

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You can grab a copy of that.

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Set limits for extras, define what's

actually included and write it down.

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But then also, have in your

back pocket, you know, okay...

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I could throw this little thing

in instead of granting a discount.

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It could be one of your prepare

lines is I don't offer discounts, but

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let me throw in this ebook for you.

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Right.

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Then instead of lowering

your price, you're offering

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them something else instead.

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Write down how that conversation

might go and what you would use and

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when you would be willing to use it.

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It shouldn't be always the same default.

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Yeah.

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You want to use it

sparingly when you need to.

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And the last part of this

is stick to your process.

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Whatever process or go-to lines

you prepare for yourself and

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whatever boundaries you prepare

for yourself, stick to it.

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Even if you're feeling nervous

about it, stick to it because that

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consistency can build your confidence

for you and for your clients.

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Now, if it doesn't work at all ever,

then you can always change your mind,

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but you need to give a little time.

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You can't just quit after the first

time if it doesn't work, right?

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Setting boundaries isn't about being

rigid, it's about protecting your energy

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so you can serve your clients well.

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Okay.

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Now that we've taken a look at how this

shows up in your business and some tips

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to start shifting it, you, my dear,

need to take action and here's your

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wrap up challenge for this episode.

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This week, take 10 minutes to write

out your main offer in product

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language, removing the eyes and

focusing on what it delivers.

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Then step two is to define one

clear boundary that will help you to

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protect the value in conversations.

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Remember, this isn't about

you having a thicker skin.

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It's about you having a better lens

so you can focus on the right things

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and do so with calm and confidence.

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That's all for this episode.

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I wish you a wonderful day and as

always my friend, enjoy pricing.

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