What if the walls in front of you aren’t proof that God has abandoned you, but evidence that He’s inviting you to trust Him deeper?

In this powerful and hope-filled episode of the Collide Podcast, we sit down with Heidi Lee Anderson to talk about what it looks like to follow God when life feels anything but easy. From a cancer diagnosis at 23 to lingering fears, unanswered questions, and the ongoing battle for peace, Heidi shares how God met her in the waiting—and how He still meets us when the “Promised Land” feels hard-won. She opens up about fear, faith, and learning to trade the lie that life should be effortless for the truth that Jesus has already overcome. Whether you’re facing uncertainty, exhaustion, or a season that feels like constant battle, this episode will remind you that God is still writing your story—and He is faithful to finish it.

Meet Heidi Lee Anderson

Heidi is a Bible teacher, speaker, author, and the founder of Heidi Lee Anderson Ministries. She’s the author of the devotional All In, All Yours, a 100-day chronological journey through the Promised Land that helps readers see how to seize, live, and rest in God’s best—even when life is hard. Heidi is passionate about helping women trade lies for truth and walk in the freedom and peace Jesus promises.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

1. The difference between feeling fear and becoming fearful, and how to stop anxiety from defining you
2. How to navigate fear, anxiety, and uncertainty without letting them define or control you
3. What it looks like to trade the lie “life should be easier by now” for the truth that Jesus has already overcome
4. How God uses the hardest seasons of our lives to grow our faith and expand our spiritual territory
5. Why you can feel afraid without becoming afraid, and how that shift changes everything
6. Remembering what God has done in the past can give you the courage to keep going today

If you’re tired of feeling stuck in survival mode, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or wondering if you’ll ever experience the abundant life God promises—this conversation is for you.

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Hey, there. Welcome to the Collide Podcast. This is Willow Weston, and I'm so glad you hopped on.

I don't know what giants you're facing in your life right now, but our next guest, Heidi Lee Anderson, is gonna hop on here and speak. Speak to those giants.

She's battled several herself, and she is going to share some of the wisdom that she has learned from the Lord as he's helped her to overcome those battles. And I hope that this episode encourages you and, as you're listening to it, to receive for yourself.

If you also are receiving a word of encouragement for someone that's on your heart and mind and you want to go ahead and share it, that gets the word out about the ministry we're doing here on this podcast. I just got a message this week from a woman who said that her marriage was.

Was restored in due part from her turning to this podcast and receiving the resources that we had here in the spiritual growth and running into Jesus and all of this that led her to such a different place in her life.

And so the hope is, is that you'll help partner with me in this ministry and spread the word, pass on these mess, encouraging interviews so that people can continue to collide with Jesus and experience his hope and healing. So check out this interview with Heidi. Heidi, I'm so glad you hopped on the Collide podcast today. It's so fun to talk to you.

And I can already tell, like, I love your accent. Is that. Is that okay to say? Like, I just want you to talk to me.

Oh, I didn't. I didn't know I had an accent. You're telling me I do. Yes. Thank you.

Yeah. Are you in Minnesota?

Definitely Minnesota. Oh, yeah, you betcha. Yep. Minnesota. You can talk about it.

Oh, totally. I'm in the Pacific Northwest. Do you think I have an accent?

I don't know.

No one thinks we have accents, but y' all in the Midwest, Wisconsin, Minnesota, it's, like, specific. Give a specific sound.

I have heard we drag out the. The word boat into three syllables. I didn't know that. Or what do you call a purse? Because we bag here, and I've heard that's kind of.

What do you call it? How do you pronounce a purse? Okay, just a bag. A bag.

Say bo. Say boat.

Booth. Boat. Boat. Boat.

Oh, my gosh. I love it so much. There's so much you're up to. I mean, you're teaching the Bible. You're speaking. You're an author.

You're a founder of Heidi Lee Anderson. Ministries. You have a couple books out. I mean, there's so many things to talk to you about. I just sort of want to have you rewind.

How did you get into all of this work? Because none of us wake up like one day and we're like, oh, we're doing these things. Like, how did you get here?

Well, it's funny because my mom will always tell me the story that when I was being potty trained as a former toddler, my mom would only get me to sit on the toilet if I had a pen and paper in hand. And so ever since I was young, I've always just love journaling and writing. That's what I would get for Christmas is a new diary, a new journal.

And so I've always loved that kind of stuff. Oh, my gosh. It's actually. It's a wild story though, how I got into it because it goes back to actually 10. Well, now it's been over a decade.

I'm up to 13 years in remission. It was when I was diagnosed with cancer. At the time I was working in kids ministry.

I actually had graduated with a marketing degree because I just like to talk in front of people. I'm just a chatterbox. And I thought that's a creative way to do business. Everyone in my family does business.

But I thought maybe that's more the creative outlet. But I got into kids ministry at the tail end.

My girlfriend had just landed at this church and they were looking for someone exactly like her and we are twins. And so I just joined the fun over at that church.

Get to dance around with kids and when you tell them Bible stories like David and Goliath, you saw their eyes just get wide like saucepans, you know?

And it was then that I knew, okay, I always want to teach the word of God because how powerful and living and active is it where even little three year olds, it comes alive for them in their souls? And so I. That's how it started. And then when I was diagnosed with cancer, I actually started writing a blog.

I didn't really want a caring bridge site, but I wanted to keep people updated. So I called it Dear Mr. Hodgkins. And every blog post was a letter to him.

And it was mainly about things that were going on, but I would share Bible stories I was reading or worship songs I was listening to. And I soon found out, oh, people actually kind of wanted to read the words I was writing. And I thought everyone liked to write.

I thought it was a fun thing. But turns out, like my Husband is like, I don't need to do that all the time, you know.

And so I, instead of kids ministry at my church after that, I started a content developer position with them where I wrote daily devotionals and small group curriculum and things like that. And that was a blast. So that's really how the Lord kind of used something that was really hard and he turned my path towards writing.

And it's just kind of evolved, right? He does kind of things we can't even imagine or even ask for at the time. But it's been a, a wild ride. It's cool to see where what he's doing.

I love the image of you being a little kid and needing a pad and paper. I think it might mean my kids are going to like, I don't know, sell candy when they're full fledged adulting because I think they needed like M&MS.

And Skittles on the potty.

It might be a back.

You said you were diagnosed with cancer 13 years ago and invite us into where you were at in life. I know you said you were working for a children's ministry, but like, how old were you? How did that diagnosis land for you?

Yeah, no, it was pretty crazy. I was 23 at the time. I was single and I had just graduated really from college just a couple years into working at a church.

And in my eyes, I was just ready for the next great thing. Instead, I felt a lump on my neck that turned out to be not so great. And I come from a very healthy family.

We don't have any history of cancer or really any disease whatsoever. And so I just kind of thought, you know, you get enlarged lymph nodes sometimes when you have colds, right? So we just stayed mindful of it.

But then a month later, I felt another lump around my collarbone. So I scheduled that appointment.

And after so many tests and so many days of waiting, I will always remember sitting on that white crinkly paper and looking over at the doctor who said, you have Hodgkin's lymphoma. And man, did it suck the air and the hope right out of me. I mean, I looked at my mom who came with me to the appointment. I'm like, what even is that?

I was just so impatient. I was done. I was ready for some medicine and then I could move on with this thing. And she looked at me and said, you know, that's.

That's cancer in your lymph nodes. And that, that threw me. That was the biggest curveball in life I have ever faced. And it was the hardest moment of my life. Man is ours.

God so good that he meets us in the valley. He meets us in the dark places. He meets us when we're stuck behind bars where we don't want to be in. And he is so good to not be present.

But I just, I will forever be convinced now because he did some amazing miracles out of that season. Like Romans 8, 28. It is real. It is a living promise that he's going to work all things, even cancer diagnosis, for our good and his glory.

He's so good to do both. And so that was a really hard moment. And again, again, it.

I felt hopeless for the first few weeks when I was waiting because I couldn't get into the oncology center right away to even talk about what would a plan look like, what does treatment look like, how far along even am I? And so I really empathize with people who are in the wait. And it is really hard. And you are praying desperately asking God to show up.

And he has not yet. Or it feels like he's being silent, or maybe he's withholding some good things from us right now. Maybe we're buying into that lie.

I totally empathize and I totally get it because I sat in those three weeks not sure how things were looking, how good it looked, and it was really dark and hard. No doubt about it.

Hmm. Let's talk about that. You, you just recently came out with this devotional all in, all yours.

You're taking readers on 100 day chronological journey through the promised land. And I imagine that you're speaking to that place where we're waiting. We're in exile.

We're so we're circling around and wondering if we're ever going to get to the promised land. What's your advice for people who feel like that's where they're at?

Well, that is one of the main reason and actually why I wrote that book, why sent us on that journey, because I needed myself.

This, if you fast forward to today, especially when I walked into my 10 year appointment after cancer, I was prepared that this would be the final hurrah. This was a big milestone. I was told after this big milestone of 10 years, I could piece out, say, cyanura to the oncology center forever.

I would be done with annual scans and really cancer, the threat of that and all the demons that came with it. And so I was feeling pretty good. I had high anticipation walking into that appointment.

But it was then when I actually heard my oncologist say, okay, congrats, we can say for certain that this cancer you're never going to get again. But now we turn our eyes to those secondary cancers like breast cancer. It is a common second cancer for people that get radiation in the chest.

Could come in your late 30s, which is where I'm at.

So he's like, we're gonna up your scans now, and next year or the following year, in your 40s, we're gonna look at your heart, because cardiac arrest, heart failure, one of the chemo drugs we gave you, that's what it could result in. And it was actually after I walked out of that appointment.

I will always remember looking up to the Lord, like, I know you give the free, abundant life, and I know that you have healed me, but why do I still feel so chained up? Why do I feel like I can't live in that freedom today?

I have this dark, black cloud that is hovering over me, really, for each decade of my life with all these risks. I have to look out for these symptoms. I have to stay ahead of. And I really got to a point where I was done. I didn't want to feel anxious.

I didn't want to always feel like, what's this bump? What's this?

Is it a cold or is it a tumor? And the. The real pressure of trying to stay on top of things. And I felt like the Lord was put, putting me on the edge of the. The promised land.

That the Israelites, it wasn't like they just stepped into the promised land and they unrolled their welcome mats and they just stepped into the first home they found. No, they had to battle for years. They had miles and miles and miles to cover. They hit walls, they faced giants. They had to cross raging waters.

But the promised land was promised to them. And that's what it was called. That's why it was called that, to state the obvious.

And I felt like the Lord was like how they lived and seized and rested in my best is how you can too, even when you face this, even when the threat of giants is still in the landscape of your life. And so I started off that journey in a. In a spot where I was really scared. And it was really hard and I felt intimidated.

And near the end, I was so thankful to the Lord that he really used that path to set me free so I could live in his peace and freedom and promises, no matter what is on the landscape of my life.

There's so many things I want to ask you, Heidi.

I. I want to rewind again and tell us where your Faith was at when you found out got cancer, because that has to play into all of this, that you were able to come to this place of like, looking for God's promises because you had heard them before you knew them. It sounds like you had had a collision with Jesus prior to your cancer diagnosis. Is that true?

Yeah, that's a great question. Because I grew up with great Christian parents, and they introduced me to Jesus at an early age. Me and my brother, we went to Sunday school.

We heard the gospel. And so that night we're in our bunk beds and we called down my parents, and we're like, we want that. Want Jesus as our savior.

We want him to dwell within us. We want him to live in our hearts. And so I knew Jesus since I was four and. But I. I will always say when.

It wasn't until I turned 23, that I really needed Jesus and I knew him.

But I. I'm talking about a place where you are facing something so out of your control and there is nothing you can do to fix it, or you would have done that by now. Right? You know, you need help beyond yourself. You need a savior bigger than yourself.

And it was really during that Jo where I felt like the Lord taught me that he isn't just my savior of my eternity. Although if that was all Jesus did for us, that would be more than enough. But he is so good that he is my savior of today too.

He is my savior of yesterday. He's my savior of tomorrow. That he is very present. He's a present help in times of trouble. And so, yeah, that journey was really hard.

And I don't ever want to repeat it again. But the Lord met me there and he. He really flipped what was so bad for good. And so you're right where I knew him personally as my sav.

But it wasn't until that journey I knew him so intimately as my deliverer, my healer, just really my savior.

What did that look like on a daily basis? Because I think we can know that God is good and that God can redeem and God can heal, and he has promises for us.

But I mean, I have this right now with one of my best friends is diagnosed with cancer. And you mentioned facing giants. It feels like every week there's a new giant of, oh, they found this. This somewhere.

They found this, you know, and it's like, oh, I get another scan in a few months and there's always this. This scary, like, giant that could be coming for you. How did you actually navigate that on a daily basis?

Where you didn't let fear overtake your life.

Yeah, I mean that is a real threat. And like you said, is a daily, a daily choice. I would say it was almost sometimes a moment by moment choice.

I may have chosen faith and trust just a half hour ago, but now I am panicked and I am scared. What I love about Joshua 1:9 is God didn't tell him, don't feel anxious, don't feel discouraged, we will all feel those things.

He just said, don't be. And I learned there is a real big difference between feeling and becoming. And so when I feel fear, I can really sit in that. Right.

And I can follow that bunny trail of the what if, worst case scenario. I always have the option to do that. And unfortunately I do it more than I'd like to.

But my God has shown me that I don't have to follow that pathway because then it becomes a point where once I'm dwelling on it, it starts to consume my thoughts, it starts to dictate my actions. It's spewing out now on my husband and my kids and my life where I no longer just feel anxious or feel scared.

I've now become anxious, I've become scared.

And so with the giants that are dwelling in the land, the one freeing thing actually I told my husband, like I am so glad out of the whole journey through the promised land, the one thing that I learned that has just changed my perspective completely is at every battle that the Israelites face with these giants, it was actually a means to advance their God given territory. The question was never is this going to put me under? Is this going to be the enemy? It was actually a setup. Every attack was an invitation to advance.

And so when we hold on to the promises of God, when we put on the armor of God literally sometimes moment by moment, when we're struggling to claim it and we keep moving forward, we will find at the other side of that trial when we get to that point, because like we see in Psalm 23, the valley is never our home. That is never where we say our good Shepherd. Our good shepherd leads us through those valleys and onto green our pastures.

Well, when we somehow get to the end of these trials and we look back, we see we covered more grant ground. We were able to expand our God given territory.

He was actually making what once was enemy held territory to now be his territory where we get to dwell in his promises. So on a daily basis, I mean that looks like just reading scripture over and over and over. There were some nights where I was locked into My bedroom.

And for two hours, I just had worship music blasting.

I'd be crying, and I would just be journaling and repeating these psalms, just like the psalmist was, like, listing out all the terrible things that happened while the psalmist never ended there. He flipped the script, and at the end he'd say, why are you downcast? Oh, my soul, Put your hope in God. And that's what I would do.

I would say, I'm feeling like this. This is really hard. This does not look good. But then at the very end, I'm like, but why am I sad?

When I know the Lord of heaven and earth who loves me, who is fiercely protective over my life, well, then I don't need to give in to fear. I don't need to become anxious even though I feel it.

I'm going to hurl that up to the heavens, and I'm just going to keep reading and keep moving forward until God, you show up and make a way when there is no.

Hmm.

It's so interesting to hear you talk about the difference between I feel afraid, but I won't be afraid, like, and you're sort of inviting us into a shift of mindset to say, I'm going to look at this as an opportunity to advance the territory of God in my life. I love that mind shift so much.

Well, you know, it's funny. My oncologist, I have had conversations, I'm open about my faith, but I never knew where he stood. But the one thing, he.

And I don't think he was a believer from our conversations, but he actually told me, he said, don't ever call it my cancer. Like, I started to say, well, and then my cancer. He's like, no, no, no.

This is a cancer you're battling, you're struggling against, but you don't possess it. Like, it isn't you. It isn't your identity. So don't say my cancer. You can say the cancer. And I just. How true is that?

Where sometimes we claim things, these battles, as if they're our identity, where God is like, no, I have called you first and foremost to be my daughter in Christ. You are. By the blood of the Lamb, you are who I say you are, not who your battle and struggles are making you feel like you are, if that makes sense.

So it was really him that started this flip in my perspective, where while the words I say and how I think about myself, that that plays a big role into feelings and anxiety and fear and am I growing that? Or when I remember who God says I am, well, then that starts to diminish, if you know what I mean.

Is that why your blog was dear to Dear Hodgkin's? I mean, you were, like, talking at it instead of, like, that it's in you, that it's a part of you.

You were, like, talking to it, like, get away from me, Satan. I mean, tell us a little bit about why you were writing to your cancer. Not your cancer, but the cancer that was overtaking your body.

Right.

You know, I will remember I was working at that church, and I went into the church office, and I was just brainstorming with some of my female counterparts, and I'm. I feel like I should just start writing a blog. I'm just. I don't want it to be a downer, though. And I just. I'm not sure how to give updates to people.

And anyways, it was actually someone else that brought it up to me where she's like, what if it was like, Dear Mr. Hodgkins, and you just wrote, like, a letter and you signed it and you just fought back that way? And so it was actually a gift that someone gave me where her name was Sue Leonardson, and she just offered it up and I just grabbed ahold of it.

And it's funny because years later, I actually heard from.

I was reading an article from a psychiatrist, and they said that is a strong method where if we talk to our problems about our God, that is a healing process that a lot of therapists, Christian counselors, will use as a way to people kind of disassociate instead of cling to. To their struggles and battles, but help release them and attack them in the name of the Lord and his promises.

And so I didn't even know it at the time. I just thought it was creative and a fun way to blog, but it was. It. It was definitely healing. No doubt about it.

Hmm. I wish I would have known about it at the time because I would love to read it. Is it still up?

I'm sure it's still on the old world Wide Web. I think it was blogspot. But, yeah, just Google world pop up.

I would imagine that as you have been more just putting yourself out there and sharing your story and the way that God has been showing up with you as you've been fighting these battles, that you've heard a lot of stories from women who are in the thick of facing giants, what's your advice for women who feel like, man, I feel like I keep showing up and fighting this battle, and it's not Getting any better?

Yeah. I'm really glad you asked that, because there is one verse in the psalm that sticks out where David said, remember the deeds of the Lord.

So when I am really struggling against the giants I'm facing, when I'm really battling against fear and anxiety, honestly, it's crazy, but I now look back to what God did during that cancer journey, because actually, that's how I met my husband. And the doctor told me I probably wouldn't be able to have kids. And now I have four kids at home. I mean, he really worked these amazing miracles.

And so there is power when we remember the deeds of the Lord. For sure, in the Bible, the miracles he did.

But I think each and every one of us can look back in our lives and remember a time when God showed up, when he made a way, when there was no way, when he answered a prayer. And maybe it was healing a loved one. Maybe it was healing a divorce, a broken heart that way.

Maybe it was sending a friend when you desperately needed it.

Maybe it was someone providing financially when you were at the end of your rope, wherever it is, and God made a way, I will look back and say, you know, what if God took something as terrible as cancer, If God took something as terrible as the cross and. And he somehow turned it and flipped it for good, thank goodness gracious. Who am I to think that he won't do that now?

I think the struggle is we are in the middle of our stories, and sometimes that's where we get caught up, where we're like, is this the end of the road? I mean, is this where things go bad? But what is that lyric from that song where it's like, if the story isn't.

If the story isn't good, then the story isn't over. And that is biblical. That is so scriptural. We see that throughout the Bible with God's people. But oftentimes it was in the middle of the story.

If we stopped in the middle of the story and actually thought, okay, Daniel was actually thrown into a pit of lions. And like David, he was. I mean, these. He faced King Nebuchadnezzar. Oh, no, sorry, I got that back.

Daniel was thrown, and he was facing King Nebuchadnezzar, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were thrown into the fiery furnace. David, he faced the giant Goliath.

If we sit in the middle of their stories, we would all see it looked really bad and it was safe. They could have thrown up their hands, be like, this is. This is where it Ends, this is how it's just bad.

The bad gets the final word, the fire gets the final word, the lion gets the last word. But they didn't. They held on in faith and they got to see how God showed up along the way.

And so that is my advice for women, that is my advice that my husband preaches right back to me when I struggle, is that I am only in the middle of the story. And all God asks me to do in the middle of things when it looks really bad is to just keep hanging on because he is faithful to his own.

Says in the Psalms, I have never seen the righteous forsaken. And so we will live to say that same thing. I have never seen the righteous forsaken.

But we just can't put a period in the middle of the story when God is still moving and he is still working. So I just tell those women, God is not done. He's still writing a good story. You just gotta keep hanging on in faith.

I so agree with that. I love that idea. If the story isn't good, the story isn't over. I always like to say with Jesus, the story never ends, it lives forever. Right?

It's again and again and again. And that's the story of we think it ends in death, but it actually ends in resurrection.

On that note, I'm going to throw a hard question out at you and I'm even trying to think how I want to ask it. What's your comfort to people listening whose friends or family members the story ended as far as cancer goes, not in a healing on earth.

How do you offer comfort in the God of the promised land to them?

Yeah, you know what? That is a really hard question, a hard reality. And I hate that circumstance for every single person. And I know that God hates that circumstance.

Right. He never actually created us to die. We were never created to do that until that bite of that, of the bite of the apple.

And then we are sent into this world that is full of sin and it is prone to decay. And, and so I understand that.

And like you said, really though, it goes back to the resurrection, that sometimes we as human beings, we are so short term and we want what we want today. And I get that. I am more impatient than anyone else you will ever meet. So I hear that person where they wanted that miracle today.

But for myself, I have to push myself and ask myself if Jesus is who I follow and I am supposed to follow Him. Well, what does Hebrews tell me? It says that he was able to endure the cross. Why for the joy set before him.

And so am I living for the joy set before me too that's waiting for me in heaven, or am I living for the joy that I wanted today? That I wanted the joy set before me today. And that is so hard. And I don't like to hear that.

And I hear you were even saying that I'm cringing to myself because I get that I want what I want today.

But praise the good Lord that He defeated death, he defeated sin, he defeated everything meant to destroy us so that we could have life, so that we could have eternal life forevermore. And so someday we're going to get there. We're going to get to our future homeland with no more tears, no more sorrow, no more sickness.

That is what is awaiting us. And so when things are really hard. And again, I would not say this to fresh out of grief, their husband just died yesterday.

And I would not say, are you living for the joy set before you today or in future? You know what I mean? So please hear me when I say that. I say it with all grace. And I would say it in the right timing.

I pray through the whole power of the Holy Spirit. But that is, that is the reality is sometimes I just have to do a heart check for myself.

Am I living for the treasures here on earth or am I following Jesus who just kept the future, the joy set before him as his focus? And I need to be doing that too.

Yeah, well, and I think being women of faith is, you know, this constant you're banking on. God is a God of resurrection, not a God of death. Over and over and over again. It doesn't matter what circumstance you're in.

It's literally, it can be. Yeah. A woman who is going through a divorce, that's not the end of the story. Right?

A woman who longed to have children and she hasn't been able to have her own biological children, whatever it is. You know, even I hope that the day that I'm on my deathbed that I truly can hold onto the idea that God is a God of the resurrection.

But I had to ask you because I'm sure you get the question, because your story has turned out where you know, you've lived 13 years past your diagnosis, which is absolutely incredible. And how hard as a 23 year old girl to get that diagnosis.

I think you think you have the whole, your whole life ahead of you and then you're just, just like lambasted with this news that's overwhelming and I love that you've been using it to point people to Jesus. It's also really interesting to me that you met your husband in the middle of that. I'd love to hear that story.

Story. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's actually my favorite story to tell. Okay.

And before I forget, the other thing you reminded me of, that where you said the story isn't over. And I do think too, no matter the suffering we face, God is going to flip it.

And I just thought of, like, in the promised land, Joseph, what he went through, through slavery and beyond. And it was the worst case. He was ripped apart from his family, but they were reunited. But what do we read as people enter the promised land?

It's actually his two kids, Ephraim and Manasseh, that's being blessed through it. And maybe we didn't see the miracle today, but no doubt our faith will ripple across generations.

So I just wanna make sure I pointed that out, that it does not end at someone's death. It will ripple into the generations that follow. The Lord is so good to do that. So I just wanted to just say that.

Cause that again, like you said, it's not over. But even if death happens, not just for that person that's living forever with Jesus in heaven, Praise the Lord.

But what they did, the seeds they planted in faith here on earth, God is faithful to grow that in generations in the future. And our families down the road are gonna see it. But okay. To shift. How I met my husband is actually my favorite story.

Because it is only this story that I am just. No one can convince me that God isn't good because of it. Because here I am, 23. I had just gone through my first round of treatment.

My hair was just starting to fall out. I had no idea how good things were looking. But it was then my pastor asked, would you be willing to share your story during communion this weekend?

And.

And again, I didn't really want to. I didn't know how things were looking. I was starting to bald. So I almost bought into the lie that I wasn't in a good place to share the good news.

You know, like, maybe once I wait until I see how good this looks, maybe once I wait until that answered prayer, then I'll. Then I'll share, right? I'll share about the goodness of God. But I was really convicted. And this is one of my favorite lines from my book. P.S.

it's going to be good.

But the Lord made clear to me that for Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, when they were thrown into that fire, three men went into that fire, three men went out. It was only in the fire when the king could see Jesus.

And so when it all goes up in flames, in our own life, who we put on display, if we put Jesus on display, it matters. That's the only time the king saw Jesus.

And maybe when we put him on display in the hard times, who knows who's watching and who will meet Jesus through it? So I was convicted of that. So I thought, okay, I'm just going to share my story and Lord, I'll go wherever you send me. So I did.

And again, I didn't know how good things were looking, so I just shared. I know that my Savior told me and John that in this world I will have trouble. That's a guarantee.

But he's also told me I can take heart because he's already overcome the world. And as I shared that story, my husband quote, at the time I did, I had never met him. We had never talked, but he went to a church up north.

But some of his friends went to my church. And it was a Saturday night.

They were planning on going out to dinner, but someone said, hey, why don't we go check out church and then we'll go to eat afterwards. So they were like, great. So he came, came to our church. The one time I just so happened to have the mic, just so happened to be sharing my story.

I mean, I am acting a little factious because I know Psalm 31, where God holds all of our times in our hands. So it is no coincidence that he just came that exact weekend. But I didn't talk to him during service when I was sharing my story.

It was actually after he went out to eat with his friends. He was looking around and they were all like, ugh, how sad. Like 23 and already facing cancer and she doesn't know how good it looks like.

That was such a stick of the mud. That was such a hopeless story. And Ty said he looked around at the table and he's like, hold on.

If this is how everyone is responding to her, let alone if this is how the church is responding to her, who knows the hope of the world, then I need to reach out to her. So he did. He sent me a very simple Facebook message. He. He just said, hey, I heard your story.

I just want you to know God wants you well and I'm praying for you. It was as simple as that.

And so we actually messaged back and forth and he just asked me some questions, I asked him some questions and we actually went on our first date after I was done with chemo on my first week into radiation, so I was just beginning that I was wearing a wig and he showed up and we went out to coffee and we just knew after that date that we are in it. So I'm just so grateful because I look back at that time and I think, man, God could have sent my husband, husband at any time.

He could have sent my husband in college when I wanted him to. He could have sent him later now when I'm 37 and I'm done with cancer.

But no, he chose the short six month stint when I desperately needed hope for a future. And so I'm convinced after that that our God's timing is may not look like ours. Most of the time it doesn't.

But it is always good and in the end we will see. It is always redemptive that he will redeem at all. And so I'm just, I love that story. Story.

Heidi. The timing is incredible. Of course, it obviously has God written all over it.

But the other thing that sticks out to me is that this man kind of entered into your life at a time where you probably didn't feel super hot. I'm assuming most of my friends who've lost their hair are not loving what they look like and feeling like it's really hard.

And then he enters in to a relationship with you not knowing the outcome of a very serious diagnosis. What did that, what did that do for you?

Well, you know what? I asked him later because I was like, how weird was that? Like, I don't know.

If I was in your shoes, I'd probably wait till, you know, things start to look good or, you know, after and we'll just see how that ends up and then we can, then we can talk. But if you knew Ty, you would not be surprised. But when I asked was that kind of weird? He honestly just shrugged and said, hmm.

I didn't think much about it because honestly, his spiritual gift is faith. He has faith. Like I say, only Bible heroes do. I have to work to claim faith over everything.

But it is a gift that is landed in his lap from the Holy Spirit himself. And so to him he just knew, this is my wife. He's a very cautious person. It takes him a long time to make a step.

And so he said the fact that the Lord had just told me, I just felt this immense peace from the moment I met you that you were my wife. I didn't question it. And it was a gift from God that he got that because he said it normally takes Me, months and years.

I mean, he still didn't propose for another year and a half after that, but he just knew from day one. Like, this is. This is my wife. So, I mean, only God. No doubt about it. Hmm.

I love that so much. One of the big things that you talk to women about is this idea of trading a lie for a truth.

We actually talk about similar things around here at Collide, replacing the lies we believe with beautiful truths.

Can you speak to that work and why it's so important and your encouragement for women who are currently in a season where they keep believing lies about themselves and about God?

Well, it's interesting because I had just come across a study that said we think over 50 to 80,000 thoughts a day, but 95% of them actually are the same thoughts. They're the repetitive thoughts. They're the same ones that we thought yesterday. And of those 95%, the statistic goes 80% of them are negative.

So that means we just keep thinking about the same bad stuff over and over and over again. And when I took a look at my own life, I mean, I could see how that was true. There were the same health concerns I had.

There were the same future concerns I had. I had the same reactions to different things.

And so once I read that stat, it was like, no wonder that God calls us in Philippians to think on whatever is true. It's not on whatever could be. He tells us to think on whatever is true, what is actually real, what is lovely, what is praise worthy.

And so I really felt that challenge for myself deep down in my soul. Am I thinking about those types of things that my God tells me I should think about?

Or am I focused on all these negative things, like non believers who do not know God, who do not know the hope of the world, who has not been given thousands of promises in his word to cling to? I mean, I was really convicted about that. And so that's why, yeah, I started that podcast, Trade a Lie for a Truth, because.

Because I thought it seems like a lot to overtake 80% of these negative thoughts. That seems like a big beast that I can't handle. But you know what?

If I can just take one lie down at a time and I can trade those for the truth, it seemed a little bit more manageable in my eyes. So that. That was on a personal journey of myself, I. That the Lord had me go on. And, man, is it challenging sometimes.

But it is always good when we can trade that for the freeing truth.

You know, I. I know the Lord has invited us into a childlike faith. And you used to work with kids, but now you have four of your own. And I'm sort of curious.

How do you teach your kids this idea of trading a lion for a truth? Well, what does that look like with them?

Yeah, you know what? I have them preach back to me because, like I said, I am no stranger to fear. So, for instance, I just had one of my annual scans, hands.

And this was a chest exam, a breast mri. And so again, I'm at the stage where it's. The risk is high. And I felt really scared. And so I was really honest with my kids.

I said, I have this doctor appointment, the scan tomorrow, and I am a little anxious. I'm sitting here and I'm thinking about it, and I'm thinking about what could go wrong.

But then I asked them, I said, but does God tell me I need to be afraid? And they're like, no, like, of course not, Mom. Right? And I said, okay, does God tell me, I.

If he says, I don't need to be afraid, then what should I do instead? And they're like, you can trust God. You can pray. You can give it to Him. You know, it is that childlike faith.

And so I actually let them preach it to me because I need it. I'm like, you're right. So I can choose to believe God, right? I can actually choose to follow Him.

Now, I can choose to not follow these thoughts down this bad path, or I can choose to dwell in them, right? I can keep thinking about Him. I can keep being scared. That is a real choice that we are given every day. And they're like, yeah, mom, do not do that.

You know, like, they just know the right answer. And of course we know it, too. But sometimes it just takes a child straight up telling you, mom, you do not need to be afraid. Like, trust God.

He's the God of this universe. He can be the God over the scan, you know, and so I actually, that's how I do it, is I flip it.

So I'm not asking them questions, but they're preaching the truth back to me.

Yeah, I love it. I love the vulnerability in that. And also, you're giving them permission slip to, you know, come to you when they need to be preached to, too. We all.

We all do. I preach to myself on a regular basis.

We need to. You have to. I know. Even the psalmist was, like, preaching to his soul. I mean, sometimes we just got to tell our souls what's up. And so I get that.

Yeah, so true. Well, Heidi, there's so many ways that you and I could end our time together.

I know that they're going to be women who want to follow along with what you do. Want to hop on. You have the most adorable Instagram account ever. And also check out the books and your, your website. So how can they do that?

I would love to be best friends on Instagram. That is my main jam. So I'm just Heidi Lee Anderson over that way. But yeah, my biggest thing is my book, my new devotional is all in all yours.

And I just want people know I'm thinking like Friday Night Lights, Coach Taylor like his battle cry, clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. That is a battle cry for God's people.

Wherever you feel like the enemy has taken your land, wherever you feel like he's stolen your peace, your joy, your standing, where you felt like you were confident in God and now he is. He has stolen that. He has destroyed that. That is a battle cry.

It is a hundred day journey so that we can once again go all in, in faith in our life, knowing that in in Christ, the land he gives us, it is ours. And the enemy can steal that. And so that, that I would point people to the most.

I want you to join that journey with me because it has changed my life. But if not, let's be best friends on Instagram or how about both?

I love it. Thanks for hopping on Heidi, Friend.

I don't know what hard season you might be walking into or out of, what spiritual resilience you're feeling like you have to muster or what wilderness that you're wandering in. But I hope that you remember without a shadow of a doubt that God will never leave you nor forsake you.

That he's with you in the valleys, he's with you on the mountaintops. That he loves you with an unconditional, sacrificial give everything he's got kind of love.

And if you need to keep being reminded of that, look at Jesus. Look at the life of Jesus. Open up one of the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, and read about his life over and over again.

Everyone he collides with, he makes sure they know how stinking love they are. And you're no different. He loves you with all that he's got. Keep colliding, friend, and we'll catch you next week.