hindered my progress or took me off in a direction I didn't want to go or just slowed me down. And I think it's so helpful to pause and reflect on that because I came up with this term in my head and I'm calling it conscious transition. We are transitioning all day long from being at home and eating breakfast, to going to work, to taking a lunch break, to coming back home to going into our workout, and there's not a lot of consciousness in all of that.

We're just kind of going from one thing to the next, never really closing one thing. And then beginning another. It's all kind of blurring together and I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that, but I just think in, when it comes to wanting to be able to be a much more intentional with our life and really hone in on what is working for me, what's not working for me, if I was just in like a really negative environment as I come into this new environment, can I consciously leave that other place behind?

If that makes sense. And so that's what I try to do at the beginning of each year is a bit more conscious transition from the old year into the new year. I have to say, I actually got on this new year processing this conscious transition a little bit sooner this year than I normally do, and I'm reminded of why, because I still feel a bit groggy.

I still feel a bit sluggish from the holidays, just from so much social interaction being the huge introvert that I am. It's very, very taxing for me, even though I love it so much, and it was such a wonderful time full of laughter. I do feel really depleted in a way. And so for me, I recharge with that alone time.

And so normally I'll do like my New Year's processing, usually like in the middle of January because by then I'm kinda like back in the saddle. I've recharged getting back into the swing of things. But for whatever reason this year, over the last couple of days, I have just felt really pulled into doing it, even in the midst of my grogginess and kind of tiredness.

So I would still love to have my little staycation and I might end up doing that still. Anyways, as you guys know, I think , I think I shared this in the last episode with Diana talking about New Year's rituals, that I usually will go book a three, maybe four day stay at a local boutique hotel every year.

path we are choosing to go down. We just kind of are wandering and before we realize that we're on a certain path, and then maybe we course correct, but the difference is when we're taking this time to consciously look at what were maybe some paths I went down last year that weren't fruitful, or in fact were harmful to my life and to my dreams, or pulling me back or slowing me down.

Poor financial patterns in terms of overspending and avoidance when it comes to being aware of my money, what's going in, what's going out, where is it, what is it getting spent on? And like I said before, even as I was tuning into that, because I, as you guys know, if you listen to the podcast and the EVOX series, I literally did.

Eight weeks, two full months of EVOX all around money. I just kept chiseling away at this because I just reached a point where I was like, I do not want to feel trapped by money. I don't wanna feel trapped by compulsions around money. And I got to so many deep roots around those patterns of overspending, around those patterns of avoidance and

like I said, I'm such a different person now. Those things don't even feel like they're issues. The overspending has been completely resolved. The avoidance, I'd say is truly 80% better. I think I still maybe have like a little bit of a 20% more to go with avoidance, and I think that really more just comes down to making it a habit cuz time can fly so quickly.

And I want that to be something this year that every single month, at the end of the month, I'm reviewing everything, you know, really with a fine tooth comb and looking at it. So on the one hand, it was like, oh man, yeah, that was hard to live through that time. But on the other hand, it's so unbelievably gratifying to look back and realize with such shock, like, holy cow, only 12 months ago, And if we think about it, it was really more like nine months ago that I was dealing with this and that I finally started to overcome this.

And I just always get so inspired by how quickly things can change for us in terms of our inner world, our inner emotions, our behaviors, and our patterns, when we're able to actually get to the true, true root cause to them. And as you guys know, for me with EVOX and the Accrscent , a lot of what I'm looking at with myself and with clients is the emotional root causes to the patterns that we feel trapped in.

Maybe even it's something positive, like I'm working on a brand new project that I'm really excited about. I tend to forsake all of my good health habits. I wrote down the collapse of self-care. I don't nourish myself with the right foods as well. I don't, I'm not as conscious about my sleep routine and blue light exposure and the time that I'm going to bed.

I'm not as conscious about consistent movement with my body, consistent sunshine. And I think I had this epiphany probably around maybe June or July that first of all, I just realized that I do this. And what I realized is when I stray away from those foundational things for too long, I really start to feel like I'm just floundering.

Like I'm lost in the clouds and I really cannot find my bearing again. And it was so pivotal, first of all, to see that because now I can be, again, conscious of that path that I tend to go down. And so when I come up to that, This year, I can be able to go, oh, life is getting busy, or I'm stressed about this and I feel myself wanting to move away from some of my self-care, my healthy habits, all these things.

I can be extra conscious of not doing that because I know where that path leads. But the reverse of it too is I realize that when I do feel kind of lost and ungrounded and untethered in a bad way, getting back to those simple, simple things is actually one of the quickest ways I can ground myself again and get clarity again.

And I think that was really pivotal for me because I think sometimes when we're in the midst of those moments where I just, you know, you just feel so utterly lost. What am I doing? Where am I going? What's the next step? What does my future look like? I have no idea. I think in those moments, it's so easy to feel like I, I need some magical thing to happen.

To give me clarity to shine the light on the path that I'm supposed to go on, it feels like, oh my gosh, something huge needs to happen to get me out of this place. When really, at least for myself, what I've found is actually it's the most minute simple things that clear the fog, clear out the darkness, and really give me so much more.

Confidence and clarity as to where I'm going, the path I'm on, et cetera. So that was a huge, huge epiphany for me this year. The second big epiphany that I had this year, and I kind of laugh cuz it does sound a bit silly, is I realize that when I get really inspired, whether it's by something that I saw or heard, I tend to wanna kick into action right away and start creating whatever it is that the inspirational thing created within me. Whatever the idea is that I was mulling over, I wanna put it into action right away. And that in and of itself isn't necessarily bad. But what I've noticed is the pattern that really stuck out to me this year was I'll take this inspiration for this new idea, this new project, and I'll dive into it head first, but I'm doing it at the expense of

the things in my life that already exist. So, for example, let's say, you know, this year I'll give, I'll give a a literal example of something that happened. I had this idea for this short little online course that I wanted to create, just a simple little weekend course that I wanted to put out. And what happened was I ended up spending like a week working on this course and nothing but this course.

And because of that, the Accrescent , my EVOX suffered, my EVOX business suffered because I wasn't putting energy into that. I was completely shut off from that. And basically any progress related to my current business and my current offerings just came to a full standstill. And then what happens is, like I come out of that flurry of creation and I feel so disheartened because everything else.

It feels like it really has come to a standstill. And so while on the one hand I've created this momentum, I've created this magnetism around this new thing, because I did it with such tunnel vision and such neglect of everything else, you come out of that and it's like, Ooh, this thing has magnetism.

This thing is so shiny. But everything else that I've already previously worked so hard to create now feels like it's kind of dead in the water. And so what I realized for me going forward is, Yes, take that inspiration, write those ideas down and begin to pursue those ideas, but not at the expense of what currently exists in your life.

Whether it's relationships, whether it's my personal health, whether it's per the offerings that I already have available. And so for me, that felt really groundbreaking because it's like I have full permission to pursue those things, but there is a baseline of responsibilities that I cannot just neglect when I want to go pursue something new, and as long as I keep that baseline there the new ideas, the new projects that I want to start to implement have to be able to fit within that. And I think that kind of inherently means that maybe I won't be able to create things as quickly, because right, if you're giving your entire day to something, you can definitely birth a new idea much, much quicker.

But I don't wanna birth new ideas at the expense of what already does exist, and that was just huge for me. So, I think what that looks like for me going forward is, you know, there's a baseline amount of time that I designate each day to my EVOX business, to growing that, to improving that. There's a baseline amount of time that I designate to my physical and emotional wellbeing, and so basically what's left, whatever time is left, then I can fill that with whatever I want, but I cannot stray from that baseline. It's like a non-negotiable that I need to keep those there. And then whatever else fits within that. Great. That fits within it. So there's two last things I wanna touch on in terms of the limiting patterns that I felt caught up in a little bit this year. And the first one is, I guess, Another thing I realized that I hadn't been aware of before, and it's that when I'm feeling, when I'm lacking confidence for whatever reason, I honestly think that I am energetically repelling clients and repelling opportunities, and I'm gonna talk about this more very soon in another podcast episode, but there was a very core thing that came up this year that I was processing through that shook my confidence to my core, and also because of what I was processing and dealing with, I literally just wanted to be invisible. I wanted to fly under the radar. I did not want any attention. And what I realized though, is that like I, I wasn't very social for a good part of the year, and I realized that wasn't just like in my head. I literally was energetically, like when I was in the depths of those moments, my client bookings were super, super low.

And when I was in the depths of those moments, it felt like no other opportunities were coming to me. And so that was really powerful for me to see. Again, sort of, if I wanna reverse engineer it now, that could be a sign for me if I feel like I am in a bit of a lull. You know, nothing's showing up. Maybe my client bookings have gone down.

I think that could be a good indicator for me to check in with my confidence to check in with, am I energetically repelling people? Not just people, but repelling all opportunities because my confidence is low. And there could be other reasons too, certainly maybe it's kind of like that magic dark right before something really big happens.

But the more we know our patterns, the more we're able to ask those really intentional, poignant questions. So again, You know, let's say three months from now, my client bookings have gone way down and it just feels like nothing is really happening. Now for me, that's a signal. It's kind of a red flag for me to go, oh, okay.

I know that at least sometimes when this happens, it's because of an inner confidence issue with me. So let me check in with that and see if that might be a factor here. If not, great. I'll move on. I'll process it in a different way. I'll see if there's something else going on. But I love being able to pattern puzzle in a way so that I can just get to the root of things so much quicker.

And this year for a variety of reasons, I wasn't very consistent with that. And it's so funny because the entire year I just could feel my intuition, my subconscious nudging me to be intentional about that, nudging me to use my mornings as processing time, and I just wasn't listening. I wasn't listening, or I wasn't being intentional about it, or I was being lazy about it.

And I laugh because for example, just maybe two days ago, I spent two hours of my morning journaling and processing and thinking about all these things and doing a bit of meditation. And the rest of my day was, I just, I felt like a completely different person. The level of confidence, the level of conviction of drive, motivation, joy was so completely different.

And so that is something that I'm very, very excited to prioritize this year. Is that processing, that reflection time at the beginning of each day. Because it is just so, it so phenomenally changes how I feel and go through the rest of my day. But I say that because I think we all have these nudges.

Whether it's a nudge to like get out and start walking for 20 minutes a day, or whether it's a nudge to call your parents you haven't talked to in a while. Like our subconscious is nudging us all the time, pointing us to the things that are going to nourish us and fulfill us. So maybe mine is the subconscious nudging me to have this reflection time in the mornings, but yours might be something completely different.

And so I just, I say that because if there's something that you feel like you've been getting the nudge about, take the time to see if that is something, if that's like a call that you can respond to. Okay, so I do wanna take a second to touch in on what were, just some of the things that I feel like I did really well or I'm really proud of myself for this year, and I think that's so important because it's really easy to ruminate on the negative, but that for me is not the purpose at all of touching in with what I feel like I didn't do well, and I've already explained why I like to touch in with that.

But it's just as important to touch in with what did I do well so I can continue to foster more and more of that, or continue to prioritize that, or at the very least, just give myself a pat on the back for that. And for me, a huge one this year is, again, as you guys know, if you're longtime listeners, I committed to doing one EVOX session a week on myself to just continue my own healing journey and it was so, so truly life changing. I mean, this is why I offer EVOX . This is why that is literally what I base my career on because it's so incredibly life changing. I'm so proud of myself because the amount of shame, and grief particularly that I was able to acknowledge and release this year was profound.

And I know for a fact I would not be the person I am literally today if I had not healed some of those old wounds. Release some of those repressed emotions and unresolved experiences. I mean, it is just it's like we don't even know who we could be without all of this. I don't love the word baggage, but without all of this baggage, without all of these wounds that are just seeping nonstop.

And so for me, I'm proud of myself because that work isn't easy. And sometimes it's exhausting and sometimes it's like, Ugh, I don't, I don't wanna look at this grief anymore. But I have to say that I really am so proud of myself for continuing to do that week after week, especially through a couple of those months where it was devastating the things that I was processing.

And again, I'll be sharing about that pretty soon here. So I kind of just feel like, you know, in my mind's eye, I see the version of me that I was 12 months ago, nine months ago, six months ago, and I'm just Thanking her. Honestly, I'm like so grateful to her that she did that work. Kind of on that note, something else that I wrote down of something I was proud of or that was really a positive for me this year was even in the hardest moments of last year.

I had such a deep knowing that I am going to get through this. This is not going to destroy me. This is not going to crush me. I am going to get through this. I can get through this. I have so many resources to help me get through this, and that deeper knowing was so uplifting. Or at the very least in some of those darkest, deepest, hardest moments, I was able to go, I know this isn't forever, and I think that was very stark for me because oftentimes when we're in really hard moments, just unconsciously, without even realizing we're doing it, we start to feel and believe, I'm gonna feel this way forever.

And so for me to be able to know, even in the depths of despair, this will not be my reality forever. I'm going to get through this. I'm going to release, this was like the lifeline that kept me from drowning in a sense, along with some other things that definitely helped get me through that. But that was so great and it wasn't something that I was, I had to consciously do.

And I think that probably is because of a lot of the healing work I have done. My subconscious is now expanded to see that. I can get through these things and we've done it before and we can do it again. And also just, there are so many resources at my disposal, I don't have to do this alone. So that was really, really huge for me.

A couple other fun little things that I was proud of this year. This one's kind of silly, but I was really proud of myself for sharing so much more with Omid and him and I have talked about this a lot because we're both very internal processors, and it sounds ridiculous, but I can't tell you how many times he will say something out loud and I'll literally continue the entire conversation in my head without even realizing that I'm doing it.

Like I'm having a full conversation in my head, just kind of processing through the rest of it. And, but then I'm not, I'm not sharing that with him. So, That was something I was really proud of myself this year is actually being a lot more aware of when I'm starting to do that. And then instead of just keeping all of those thoughts in my head, actually sharing them out loud with him.

Another thing that I noticed on the same topic that I do is, you know, something will come up in my mind that it's like, oh, that would be good to share with him. You know, that would be really bonding. You know, that'll help us become closer to share this with him. But my mind kind of always goes like, puts it off in a later date.

Oh yeah. Like I should share that with him. I will later. Even though it's like, okay, well why not right now? Because the reality is like that later date rarely ever comes. And so I've also been much more aware of that when it comes up, and then much more intentional about just sharing whatever that thing is in the moment.

And I do think it's brought our relationship to the next level of depth that we could go to, and it's felt really, really good. The last two I wanna touch on first is I'm super proud of myself because I think this last year I got exponentially better at setting boundaries with myself, with my partner, with my friends, with my family, and just communicating so much more clearly.

And what I mean by this is just, I mean, I had a, I remember having conversations with my mom about a specific topic, and I just was so clear with her. I said, I know this is a heavy topic, but I want you to know that I cannot be a support system for you in this topic because I am dealing with my own weight around it and I don't have the capacity to support you in this.

And that was so huge to be able to say that it was kind of like I'm trying to save myself from drowning. And so with this, with this information that I'm sharing to you, I recognize that it might also make you feel like you're drowning, but I need you to know that I cannot come and save you because I'm trying to keep myself from drowning.

So if this information is overwhelming for you, if you're feeling dysregulated, you have got to take the responsibility for that and find the resources that are gonna help you, whatever it may be. And you know, it was things like that. And there were other smaller instances of similar things like that that I am just so proud of myself for being able to set that boundary, but also communicate so much more clearly. And this is something I feel like I wanna start talking about more because I, it's a topic that's been coming up a lot recently with clients is like, how do we communicate with our friends and family so much clearer?

And this is just a philosophy that I have adopted, like the more utterly clear and vulnerable we can be in our communication the better. And so, you know, using the example of my mom in that instance, I could have just said like, I can't take on your emotions with this done. But I think being able to add in, I can't take on your emotions with this because I feel like I'm drowning and if I try and take on your emotions, it really might sink me.

Being able to communicate the why behind the what. I think is it helps people, first of all just understand us better, but then they're able to understand why that what is so important, maybe why I am being so strict with my boundaries right now. So anyways, that's something that I love to start to talk about a little bit more too, and share my philosophy on that, how I do that, how I approach that.

Cuz I've had some really great feedback from clients recently when we start to talk about this and how to communicate clear that they're like, whoa, I just never thought of it in that way. So, okay the last thing that I feel like was such a highlight of this year is I, while on the one hand it was literally the hardest year of my entire life, and I don't say that lightly. It was also the most joyful and content year of my entire life. And it's funny because I actually don't think I even realized that before just saying it. The juxtaposition there, and I feel like this is always what happens with me is like the hardest years become the best years because the growth in those times is so exponential compared to the other ones.

And that has been huge because, like I said, to be able to say that in the worst, hardest year of my entire life, I also felt the most joyful. That's pretty profound, I think. And it wasn't anything crazy. We didn't travel last year. I didn't get any crazy new product or like nothing wild happened last year, but it was actually the depth of joy that came from just the everyday things from my morning coffee, from my favorite coat that I get to wear every day from

So happy New Year and until next week.