Justin Egliskis | Energy Alignment for Entrepreneurs

Tyler:

[0:00] He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and

Tyler:

[0:04] really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way have never learned the universal language. Because when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment in the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning. Maktoub In Arabic that means, It is written.

Tyler:

[0:52] From The Alchemist by Paulo Aranjou

Music:

[0:55] Music

Justin:

[1:27] Fact that you've traveled all across or not all across the world but you've been many different places except for the northeast and I was just curious to hear a little bit about your travels oh.

Tyler:

[1:38] Yeah well I mean I didn't I didn't do a lot of traveling outside of the southeast as a kid we just didn't do that you know most people never like leave their region I would say um I probably did more than some of my friends did you know just go into different states and visiting family any visiting around. So I went to Tennessee, North Carolina, Texas, you know, the Southeast, Florida, all that area.

Tyler:

[2:05] And it wasn't until I joined the Air Force that I got to see more of the country. So then I immediately went to California and then I was in Arizona for a long time. And, you know, during those years, I traveled all around the country just for the sake of doing so. And then when I got out of the military, I took a job and I was in Europe for a couple of years so i went all over europe too i went to the uk i went i lived in denmark but i went to sweden i went to the czech republic to austria germany um so i've seen a fair slice of the world i just never had any particular reason to be in new england that's all that's the only reason i'd love to it'd be great i just haven't had the opportunity that presented itself along my path yeah

Justin:

[2:53] And and immediately when you mentioned going out of the country with the air force and going to the czech republic and europe um what would you say was like

Justin:

[3:04] the biggest sort of lessons maybe surprises um that you came across i'm genuine i'm curious.

Tyler:

[3:12] It's gonna sound so generic But I mean, the the the similarities between people everywhere are real, like because people always say people are the same everywhere, but they're different, I guess, would be a good way to start. For me, the culture shock of realizing that not everyone like America, Americans are kind of known for being very straightforward and like we'll talk to people, especially in the South, I would say even more so. We'll just talk to people in public that we don't know and tend to be quite straightforward. People in Scandinavia are not like that at all. They don't like it. They find it intrusive and weird. So that was a huge culture shock for me. On the other hand, I would say that in general, people everywhere want the same things in terms of They want to be loved. They want to have friends. They want to move forward in their careers. They want to have adventures in life. Those motivations are, I think, intrinsically human, whereas cultural things like how people talk to each other can be wildly different. But if you know how to say thank you, if you can express gratitude, I think you can pretty much get by anywhere. You just have to learn whatever their local word is for, like, thanks, I love you, dos mas cervezas por favor, whatever you need to say to get by.

Justin:

[4:41] And that point that you bring up with the speaking to the Scandinavians and their sort of cultural difference being not the same as America, where we're always kind of just, I mean, of course, you have introverts and extroverts, people who are quiet, people who are loud in America. But that that's intriguing have you ever came across the concept of spiral dynamics i've.

Tyler:

[5:14] Heard the term but i couldn't define it for you if you ask me to right now what does that mean it

Justin:

[5:18] Was something that like opened up my mind from a man named leah gura and it's kind of an understanding of maybe levels of awareness if you will and how i have some friends in Africa and they've told me stories of like, you know, at one point you can have a man in America living in Boston, not lock your door at night. And that's just the reality of the situation. You just know you're not going to get like broken in on. But in Africa, they'll have like, you know, bars over their windows, like three, four, like metal, all this sort of.

Justin:

[6:01] And that's kind of due to this concept of right in different countries, different cultures, everyone kind of was raised in these different ways. And it just intrigues me to kind of like find yourself in that situation where you maybe want to talk to someone on the street. Like you feel like you want to throw them a compliment because I'm very much like that. I'll just speak to anyone and everyone. If they're doing something that I resonate with or I find attractive, I'll be like, hey, what's up? Nice. Well done. Like your curly hair, et cetera. And so just I guess I find that really intriguing how.

Justin:

[6:51] Humans are all the same, like you're saying. Inherently, we all have that human design. We want to be heard, understood, and have connection with others. But I just find that interesting.

Tyler:

[7:05] You know how at the end of your podcast you always say, I love you, I really love you, I care about you, all that stuff? If you were on the streets of Copenhagen, maybe not Copenhagen because it's more multicultural, let's say you're in Aarhus, somewhere in Denmark, and you just like told a random person like hey man i love you it's not that they would like it's not that it's directly offensive to to express love it's just that the fact that you did that is it would never happen if you weren't from somewhere else like they don't do that um

Tyler:

[7:40] So like what i i was told you know kind of upon arrival like hey you know people don't like that kind of shit but what i learned is that they actually tend to respond well to it it's just unexpected whereas in america you know if you're like hey man love that curly hair dude's gonna be like hey you're looking good too bro like you know appreciate it and you may not have any first relationship beyond that um and i think um to northern europeans in general they find that that's a very shallow relationship which i understand it's a good critique they'll say like you know you Americans you always go around and you say like what's up or whatever and then or how are you and all that kind of stuff but you don't really mean it you're just saying that to the guy at the grocery store counter that you're not talking to anymore and then my response to that was like oh I care I do if the guy told me like I'm having a bad day I would stop and say tell me what's going on, you know, what's happening? How can I help? But there is that also, you know, I've done this as an experiment too, where you walk down the street in America or somewhere and you're like, sup. And the other person says sup. And then, or there's someone says, how you doing? And you say pretty terrible. And then they don't know how to respond because they're just used to, they're just being an automaton. They're just doing that all the time. So I don't know. I think that it's a good critique of our culture too. And they're not wrong. They're just different. I love that. they appreciate it

Justin:

[9:04] Right everyone.

Tyler:

[9:05] Does everyone likes a good compliment right

Justin:

[9:07] I feel you hit the nail on the head though it's kind of like are you delivering that um small talk are you delivering the small talk with care and this is this is really getting into um more of the unseen right because it's like you it's not about the message

Justin:

[9:29] you say what's up you say what's up it's how you deliver that what's up, right? Are you actually there to listen if someone says, man, I don't know what's up. I'm kind of struggling today, right? Because for me, that's one of, I feel, the most fruitful things in my entire life is just the act of listening, right? Because what happens if I'm going to give you just a little question, like what happens when you genuinely listen?

Tyler:

[9:59] You uh you can go one of two ways when you genuinely listen to someone you can either find that you're forming a deep relationship and it's like this is really good that i'm doing this you can also find that you've been sucked into a black hole that you can't get out of without having to set a boundary that you're uncomfortable making and i think a lot of folks especially in our culture find themselves in that trap because they're like too nice for their own good where you end up with someone who will maybe not even on purpose but like sort of continually take advantage of your kindness um and to circle back to the other thing i think the the scandinavians are more comfortable just cutting that off from the junk you're like i'm not going to put myself in that position every man is an island they can take care of themselves we take care of it with our social security and our tax i paid my taxes i shouldn't have to babysit that is that's denmark in a nutshell right there i

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