This podcast episode features an insightful conversation with my guest, Kristin Stovern, focusing on women's health and the importance of understanding the holistic nature of health. Kristin emphasizes that health encompasses not just physical well-being but also mental, emotional, and social aspects. She discusses the significance of menstrual cycles as vital signs, providing a detailed explanation of the different phases and how they influence a woman's energy levels, emotional state, and overall health.

Kristin highlights the need to address women's health issues, particularly in the United States, where there is a maternal health crisis and a lack of research and understanding surrounding women's health concerns. She encourages women to embrace their worth and advocate for themselves, challenging the societal norms and biases that have often dismissed or undervalued women's health experiences.

Key Learnings:

1. Health is holistic, encompassing mind, body, relationships, and environment.

2. Menstrual cycles are vital signs that provide insights into a woman's overall health and well-being.

3. Understanding the different phases of the menstrual cycle (follicular, ovulation, luteal) and their associated hormonal changes can help women navigate their energy levels, emotional states, and physical needs.

4. Movement, sunlight exposure, and strength training can positively impact hormonal health and overall well-being.

5. Women's health issues, particularly in the United States, have been underrepresented, and women often face dismissal or bias in healthcare settings.

6. Embracing self-worth and advocating for oneself are crucial steps in improving women's health experiences.

7. Acknowledging and validating women's experiences, trauma, and emotions can contribute to personal growth and better health outcomes.

Show Notes:

Show Notes with time stamps: (feel free to jump to a section of you preference)

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Introduction [00:00 - 01:30]

- Overview of the episode's focus on better health for women

Defining Better Health [01:30 - 03:00]  

- Holistic view of health: mind, body, relationships, environment

- Importance of looking at health from an integrated perspective

Women's Health Crisis [03:00 - 06:00]

- Maternal health outcomes as a benchmark for a nation's health

- Worsening maternal health crisis in the U.S. despite medical advancements

- Disproportionate impact on Black and Brown communities

- Need for empowering individuals to drive positive change

Meeting People Where They Are [06:00 - 09:00]

- Importance of understanding individual circumstances and barriers

- Asking questions to grasp the full context before advising

The Menstrual Cycle as a Vital Sign [09:00 - 16:00]

- Menstrual cycles provide insight into overall health and hormonal function

- Overview of the follicular, ovulation, and luteal phases

- How cycles influence energy levels, moods, nutrition needs

- Importance of listening to your body's cyclical needs

Integrative Approach to Emotions & Mental Health [16:00 - 29:00]

- Interconnectedness of hormones, organs, and emotional experience  

- Looking at the full context: sleep, relationships, diet, medications, etc.

- Using self-awareness to navigate emotions through cyclical changes

The Power of Movement [29:00 - 38:00]

- Benefits of movement for hormonal balance and mental health

- Importance of strength training for longevity, bone health, preventing dementia

- Even 10-15 minutes per day can make a significant difference

Identity, Self-Worth & Leaving a Legacy [38:00 - 58:00]

- How trauma and painful experiences can shape identity and self-worth

- Overcoming narratives that diminish women's voices and experiences  

- Recognising inherent worth beyond external accomplishments

- Passing down empowering beliefs about self-worth to future generations

Closing Thoughts [58:00 - 60:00]

- Invitation to reach out for more on the topics discussed

Kristin's mission/vision/passion

Women are the foundation of families, communities as well as the benchmark for a nation’s health when looking at maternal health outcomes. Their health and overall well-being have a tremendous impact, but often women do not prioritize themselves. This is heavily influenced by a society that has underrepresented women, under researched as well as the implicit biases within the healthcare realm. After over a 20 year career of caring for women throughout the lifespan, the desire to make a difference on a bigger level pushed me to pursue my Doctorate in Nurse Practice in Leadership and education with research into the “why’s” this country is in such a dismal state and what can be done to turn the tide. 

Empowering women to have the knowledge to make a difference in their own health as the healthcare system fails them by giving a voice, breaking down stigmas, and validating the fear and shame by replacing it with being heard and seen was the precipice behind creating “Why am I Just Finding this Out? 

I have lived a life that’s actions demonstrate how we can take good care of ourselves and have families, careers, philanthropy, and wholeness while validating the insecurities and brokenness within me and others. ~ Kristin.

You can find out more about Kristin here

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.

Welcome to Mindset, Mood and Movement, a systemic approach to human

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behavior, performance, and well being.

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Our psychological, emotional, and

physical health are all connected,

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and my guests and I endeavor to share

knowledge, strategies, and tools for

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you to enrich your life and work.

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Welcome to Mindset, Mood and

Movement, a systemic approach to human

7

behavior, performance, and well being.

8

Our psychological, emotional, and

physical health are all connected,

9

and my guests and I endeavor to share

knowledge, strategies, and tools for

10

you to enrich your life and work.

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Hello and welcome.

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I'm delighted to be joined today by a

friend from over the pond, as they say.

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I'm joined by Christine Stoven from

Missouri in America, and Christine's

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got some cool things to say and

some really powerful things to say.

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And I was struck when, when Christine and

I were introduced about her, her powerful

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work that she's doing with women, with

health and the legacy that she's building.

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And, and today we're really going to

speak to, you know, how to leave a

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legacy of better health for women.

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So for all my female listeners

and men too, because we're all

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part of the same world, right?

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We have partners, we have

siblings, we have friends, we're

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all part of the conversation.

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It's important that we all hear it.

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And I'm a massive ally for women in

this, but ladies, this one is going

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to perhaps speak to things that I

can't speak to because I am a man.

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So I'm delighted to invite

Christine to, to join us today.

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So Christine, welcome.

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Nice to have

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you.

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Kristin Stovern: I really appreciate

you asking me to be on the show and I'm

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looking forward to our conversation.

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Sal Jefferies: Me too.

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Um, when we say about better health,

it's a, it's a lovely phrase, but

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I'm interested in spec specificity.

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So when we say health, someone might say,

oh, get a bit fitter or feel a bit better.

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I think sometimes we need to be clear

on what do we mean by better health.

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So what would you definition

of better health be

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Kristin Stovern: Well,

health is all of us.

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It's holistic, right?

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So it's our mind.

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It's our body.

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It is our relationships.

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It's our surroundings, our environment.

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Really, health is demonstrative of

every aspect of our life, whether

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it's our workplace, home, families.

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And then how our own body

functions through that path.

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And so, it's not as simple as

saying, Is your heart healthy?

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Are your lungs healthy?

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Are your eyes healthy?

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Are your teeth healthy?

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Right?

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None of that is truly healthy

if then you have this external

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stressor or health issue.

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Difficulty, because then all of

it becomes a little bit broken.

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So, holistic health is what I believe.

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And I definitely believe in, you

know, movement of the body, and

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working towards healing the mind

as essential for true health.

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Sal Jefferies: Nicely put.

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I'm all about the individual.

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That's the work I do with

individuals in human performance.

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And as my regular listeners

know, we work on mindset.

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We work on the emotional state and

we work on movement and the body.

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But.

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We can be as fit as a fiddle, as

they say here, but if we live in

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a toxic environment, we're doomed.

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And, you know, I live in

a small city in the UK.

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I know you live in the States.

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And the air quality here,

it's something that bugs me.

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I live in a beautiful city, but

the air quality is terrible.

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And you're like, okay, this,

I'm fighting against this.

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And, and environment is so important.

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And it's so important to know

about social health as well.

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I've got a, uh, I've got one of my

other guests who's on, uh, recently.

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We spoke about social health.

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Relationships, People, Community.

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So I love what you said there about the

holistic nature of health and I think

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it's moving away from just an individual

issue and looking at a collective issue.

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It's a powerful way to see

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this.

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So you're...

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Yeah, so you're, you're really a strong

advocate for women's health in particular.

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And this is what I want to get your, your

insights and your knowledge on today.

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Women's health.

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Okay, I hand over the baton.

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So, as a woman, what are we, what are

we going to be really looking for?

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As in how can, what are the kind of the

markers or the parameters that we want to

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say, okay, we're looking, we're doing the

right things to help women be healthy.

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Particularly on the physiological sense.

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What's, what, what, what would you say to

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Kristin Stovern: Well, I would start

with a pretty simple statement,

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but it's very complex in any

way you want to interpret it.

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I mean, women are the

foundation of our families.

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And we know, and this is actually a CDC

statement, that a nation's health is

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defined by or shown by, as a benchmark,

by their maternal health outcomes.

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So if you look at a country's

maternal health outcomes, if they

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are poor, then that tells you

that society's health is poor.

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And we can definitely say that with the

state of the health in the United States.

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We have a maternal health crisis here,

which is actually worsening, yet we

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are one of the most developed countries

and most advanced in medical sciences.

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Somehow we have more women dying or

having long term sequelae from having

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babies than we had in years past.

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We have more women dying and, you know, we

already know based on research that women

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are under researched, under represented.

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There is still a lot of implicit biases.

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There is still a lot of implicit biases.

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Black and brown population are by

far more likely to die because they

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decide to become a mom or don't decide

they're proceeding with a pregnancy.

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And as we know, in most societies,

women are the center of their

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families, their communities.

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So, with women's health being heavily

influenced by, you know, the society

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overall, We really need to look at how

we can each as an individual be empowered

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to better health, because it's not going

to be us talking on this podcast or you

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going to see somebody in a healthcare

setting that's going to make the

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health improve over time of a society.

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It's looking at each person as you have

the power to do better, to be better.

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And to be the change.

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And we can't do that unless we empower

each of us to say you may feel like you

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are not powerful enough to make that

change, but if you're a mom, a wife,

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a daughter, a sister, a grandchild, an

employee, you ride the bus, you go to

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the grocery store, you have friends,

you are influencing all those networks

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and can make the positive change in how

we think and how we behave every day.

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Sal Jefferies: Very nice, yeah.

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And it's, the statistics you've said

are, I mean, they're just shocking.

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You know, when we think about

advance and of course, you know,

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the Americas and it's an incredibly

advanced nation in so many ways.

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And yet, in many ways, there's

such regression and it's not

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something I can speak to.

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I don't know the stats on it.

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So hearing it from you, it's,

it's, it's, it's alarming and

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shocking to say the least.

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But I love what you said there about.

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understanding that there

are these forces at play.

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There's cultural forces,

political forces, patriarchal

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forces, uh, his legacy, all this

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stuff.

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And we, we do need to look at ourselves.

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And I think it's a powerful thing

because it's where do I have choice?

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Where do I have power?

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I think That's such an important thing.

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I know for some of my

female clients I've coached.

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Powerlessness has been a

theme through some of their

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experiences for various reasons.

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Now, one of my jobs as a coach is to

help them find that power, you know,

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find that strength and build it because

it's all there, like muscles, you

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know, you, I'm quite a skinny bloke

and I've got a lot of muscles because

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I go and lift the weights and it's

like, how do we help that person train?

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to become stronger and empowered.

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And that crosses, you know,

the psychological domain, the

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emotional and the physical.

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You mentioned something there about how

we all influence and affect one another.

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And this is a systems theory approach

which I, I, I have subscribed to.

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And I think of it like raindrops.

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I'm very visual.

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So when we see the raindrop in the

puddle, that concentric wave goes

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out, and then it might be another

raindrop and concentric wave.

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I love the fact, I'm seeing that if

we can empower people, these are like

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these ripples of change that go out.

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So maybe we can speak to that.

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So as an individual, yeah, we can't

change society and political nonsense

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and all the things that's going on,

but what we can do is change ourselves.

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So what's the first step that

we want to start considering?

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Kristin Stovern: Wow,

that's a big question.

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So, the first thing I would

say to that is a question.

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you need to meet people where they are.

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So if you have someone that has a

food desert as an issue, they have

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access to healthcare as an issue.

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They have transportation as an issue.

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Monetarily, they don't have the means to

do many of the things that could help.

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drive that healthier lifestyle.

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Maybe they don't have the

influences around them.

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So we need to meet people where they are.

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And if we don't meet them where they

are, then we are telling them rather than

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teaching them how to live a better life.

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So I'm going to start there

because it's not fair for me to

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assume what I have access to is

what everybody else has access to.

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And so the basics of that is when I

meet someone, I need to stop and ask

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them some questions because that teaches

me where I can lead that conversation.

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How are you and how is your life?

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Are you in a relationship?

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Do you work?

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Do you like your job?

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What do you do for the day?

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Do you want to have children?

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Are you feeling like you're

socially taken care of?

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Do you have good friendships?

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And those aren't the exact questions,

but the idea is to try in a few minutes.

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Get a basis of that person's life so that

then you can meet them where they are.

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And then it's moving into, okay,

what brought you in here today?

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Whether that's as a clinician I'm

asking that question, whether that's

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as a medical student that is coming

to me and I'm teaching them, whether

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that is sitting with a group of friends

and they're wanting advice about why

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they're having hot flashes, night

sweats, brain fog, whatever it is.

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If you first find the basis of where that

person's coming from, we will do so much

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more to help them improve their path.

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And then my next question is

going to be, okay, so what is

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it that's concerning you today?

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What is it that's bothering you today?

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What I expect them to answer

and what actually happens are

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two very different things.

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So it's important to step

back and wait for that answer.

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And if you're not clear, don't

assume that your version of what

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they're trying to figure out is my

version because they're not the same.

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And so by stepping back and doing

that, I've learned a great deal about

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not having biases in my assumptions

and hopefully leading them to be

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empowered to make better choices and

have a better health pathway, but also

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trusting me that I'm going to listen.

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I may not have all the answers,

but my desire is to try to

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help in whatever way I can.

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Sal Jefferies: Very nice.

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Absolutely, exquisitely articulated.

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And, and it really strikes me, doesn't it?

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We live in a world of noise and

bombardment and, and We, there's so much

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knowledge, I mean, goodness me, I, I, I'm,

I'm of an age where we used to go to the

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library as a child if we had to look up

some stuff, like now you just open your

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phone and you know everything, or you

know what the algorithm tells you anyway.

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So we have all the

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information, so then the question

is, if the information's there, why

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are we not making better choices?

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It's got to land, hasn't it?

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It's got to talk to people and, uh, in

underserved communities, you know, if

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you look at patents of what, what do they

do, well, their, their food choices are

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probably different to people with higher

net worth and, and there's all sorts

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of reasons why this cultural, social,

um, um, social bias and inclusivity,

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all these things, but I love what you

said about meeting people where they are

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because That's where we start, Right.

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Because it's

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reality.

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It's not an abstraction.

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And I think for those of us listening and

just tuning in, it's a great question.

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Where are you now?

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And maybe you sort of

percolate those thoughts.

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Yeah, what is going on for me now?

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What's my lifestyle choices?

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What money do I have?

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What capabilities?

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And start to get really clear on those

spaces and those points to start from.

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You also mentioned something about

assumptions and, oh my goodness,

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It's a, it's such a big one.

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We, we all assume, we all make

hypotheses and in the medical

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community, clinicians, psychotherapists,

we all do, we have hypotheses.

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The danger is, is that we

overlay our opinion of the

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other based on our ideology.

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And That's dangerous because I don't

know what it's like to be a woman.

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So I need to ask because I'm a man, but

if I assume, Oh, it must be difficult.

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How do I know?

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How do I know?

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So, um, uh, I, I was told by

someone recently that they.

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a person was struggling

to communicate well.

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And so what happened?

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And they said, Oh, they were just assuming

that the women couldn't lift heavy weights

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and it was like, okay, let's do some

skilling because these girls couldn't.

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And I've trained with girls in CrossFit

who are so strong and they're tiny.

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So we have to be very careful

of assumptions on any level

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because they can be dangerous.

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And they think they can be

diminishing, which is such an

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important point you raised.

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Thank you.

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So.

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Kristen, can I sort of

push a little deeper?

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Women's health.

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Now, uh, as we've spoken in my regular

listeners note, I'm all about building up

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strength, becoming vital and empowered.

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Demential cycle, perimenopause, hormonal

shifts, endometriosis, all these things

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a woman might have that a man won't

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have.

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Then how can we start to think

about women's health, better

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health and Naming or addressing

those parts of a woman's health.

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Where do you start with that and

what can we, what can we sort of

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inspire our listeners to think about?

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Kristin Stovern: Okay, well, so I have a

great answer for that, honestly, because

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this is something that I have to address

every single day, many times a day,

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whether it's professionally or personally,

because people know that I like to educate

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and I like to help them feel better.

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It's a driving passion of mine

that sometimes I can't turn off.

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You could just ask my kids or

my husband, like, Mom, okay,

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I know I need to not eat that.

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I need to do this.

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I need to get good sleep.

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You know, you turn off electronics.

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So what I would say, my biggest

piece of advice is, and when I say

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this, I also want to caveat by saying

it's so sad that this is not such

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mainstream of a thought process.

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Our menstrual cycle is a vital sign.

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Your blood pressure, your

heart rate, your temperature,

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they're all vital signs, right?

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Your menstrual cycles are a vital sign.

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They tell a story.

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And if we will look at our menstrual

cycles as a vital sign, and we treat them

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Like a vital sign, then we will know so

much more about our bodies and understand

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why we feel certain ways, different days.

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But also you would be able to

then navigate with those around

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you because they would know too.

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So if your people in your close circle

are able to see your ebbs and flows.

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then they're able to also respond to you

in a way that they understand because

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they understand where you're coming from.

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The only way we change that

paradigm is being much more

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open about the conversation.

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And women have been taught to be

embarrassed about talking about periods

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or menopause or hot flashes or menstrual

cramps or urinary incontinence or rectal

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incontinence or constipation or whatever

it is that shouldn't be embarrassing

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because isn't that And so I would say,

first and foremost, Our menstrual cycles,

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or lack thereof, are a vital sign.

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If we understand that, then we will

understand so much more about why we feel

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certain ways, why things go a certain

way at different times, why you're more

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likely to get sick at a certain time,

why you're more likely to want to speak

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and be extroverted and hang out with

your friends and talk, why sometimes you

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want to be an introvert and cuddle on

the couch and drink a hot tea and talk

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to nobody and turn off all the lights.

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If we understand...

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why we feel that way and those

around us understand it, we can

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navigate life so much better.

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So that's probably the

simplest first step.

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We have to be in tune with our cycling.

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Men cycle every few hours.

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Women not so much.

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We're lunar months or as we age,

we're who knows what we are.

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And that's the point, right?

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That's our vital sign.

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Sal Jefferies: Oh, I love that.

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Vital signs.

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I mean, I'm all over stuff like

HRV, blood pressure, you know, all

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these stats, you know, VO2 max, all

these things that I might do for my

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own fitness and work with clients.

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And I have never heard anyone

call that a vital sign.

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That is just exquisite.

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And, and to me, it seems

like, well, of course it is.

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Um, I'm someone who lives with an

autoimmune condition and, uh, and I know

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what it's like to have embarrassment.

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It's, uh, it's a bowel issue and,

and, and if you've got to use the

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lobe, you don't have a choice.

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Now, I'm fortunate to be very much in

remission because a lot of the work I

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do and the work I've done on every level

to, to heal that to a large extent.

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But...

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When we start to become

embarrassed of our bodies and

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natural things, like what is that?

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Because it's happening anyway.

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We, we all have to use the loo.

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We all sweat.

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We all do these things.

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Shaming stuff.

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Shaming itself is a powerful and dangerous

force and it definitely feels like.

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I don't know if it's a Victorian

era thing or whatever, but yeah, no

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one speaks about going to the loo.

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I can't say that.

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I mean, I know you guys

in America's call it the

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bathroom and us Brits are like,

what are you taking a bath for?

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Do you not mean the loo?

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Kristin Stovern: yes, yes, ha

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Sal Jefferies: And we can laugh, but

actually when it comes down to it, Yeah,

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it's a difficult conversation.

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And, uh, I, I've trained some,

some female athletes where.

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You are not going to lift the weight as

part of your training cycle, if you're

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training, uh, the mesocycle, it's called,

if you're in your menstrual cycle,

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because your body will be a certain state.

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If you go against that, then

how healthy or damaging is that?

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And I, I sense it's the latter

from my limited understanding.

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Um, I wanted to just add something and

then get you to kind of pick up some more.

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I get people to look at biorhythms.

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Everyone has biorhythms, male and female,

and of course the women a lot more.

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If we work with them, such as when

do you wake naturally, when's your

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hormone cycle of cortisol lifting

to give you the sharp edge of your

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brain, when are you downregulating?

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In us, in our, particularly in the busy

world of life and work, people kind of

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live by a diary, you know, meetings and

back to back and killing the kids and, and

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it's, it's an abstraction when actually

half the time we want to go and have a

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nap, but I know I'm going to push through.

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And I don't advocate for that.

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I have the privilege that I work for

myself and, and Because of the autoimmune

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condition, I've learned if I need

to sleep in the afternoon, I sleep.

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Because it's really simple,

if I don't, I get ill.

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It's a non negotiable.

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So I've had to learn to be with

my body and that response, and

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that's my small experience.

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So what would you say about learning

about your biorhythms, your menstrual

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cycle, and how actually that can be a

more empowering state for, for a woman?

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What do they need to learn

and how can that empower

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them?

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Kristin Stovern: Excellent question.

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So I think that, and this is goes

for whether you're in perimenopause,

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menopause, or you're cycling.

381

We need to understand that our hormonal

function, which is our, our hormones,

382

our chemical messengers, right?

383

So estrogen and progesterone,

they have a dance.

384

And if we will live life.

385

flowing with that dance, that in general

we will feel better and do better.

386

And so there are times cyclically that

it's better to lift heavy weights,

387

to push yourself, to fast longer if

you want, eat higher protein and, and

388

eat more of a ketogenic type diet.

389

And there are times that you

need to be more conscious and,

390

and not lifting heavy weights.

391

not pushing your joints because

you're at a time in your cycle

392

that you're more prone to injury.

393

You also need to sleep a little bit

more, have more complex carbs, and maybe

394

a time that if you're aware of that,

you're more likely to be more emotional,

395

maybe be more sensitive, respond more

negatively in a conversation, so maybe

396

not have those conversations when you're

in your luteal phase of your cycle.

397

And for perimenopause, each

day can be a different day.

398

And if you are waking up and feeling

certain things, like you're, you're

399

just more tired, maybe you feel more

introverted, maybe you feel like you

400

don't have the energy to go lift heavily.

401

Okay, well, that's certainly

not an estrogen state.

402

I need to pay attention to that.

403

I don't need to go try to max out,

or I really should support that with

404

sure, plenty of protein, but I'm going

to need some complex carbs in there.

405

And maybe this isn't the time to

decide to run a conference or a

406

meeting or interview for a job.

407

And so if we're more aware of that.

408

then we can navigate life

without creating more roadblocks.

409

For those of us that, that really do a

lot of movement, whether it's lifting

410

weights and exercising, but we also are

doing it because we want to feel good.

411

If you will do it in a way that

it serves you, not harms you,

412

you will feel so much better.

413

And when we also start to eat, move,

sleep, navigate life, flowing with our

414

menstrual cycles, or with perimenopausal

symptoms, we actually end up feeling

415

better, and our body then will produce

its own hormones to balance that out.

416

Um, so, that's a generalized view, I

mean certainly I can get more detailed

417

if you want that, but I feel that

when you have a group of, of women

418

and you're wanting to train them

all at once, I would first say, Hey!

419

Do you know where they are

in their menstrual cycle?

420

And does she know?

421

Because if you have someone who's

really competitive, and they're with

422

other competitive athletes, but one of

them can do a lot more than the other,

423

that's going to get in your head.

424

So here you are in your progesterone

state, you can't lift as heavy, you can't

425

run as hard, you can't push yourself, but

your friend can, and they're beating you,

426

you're also in the time of your cycle that

you're going to feel more introverted,

427

and sensitive, and negative, and...

428

Wanting to say you're not

as good as you could be.

429

That's probably not the best setting

to just say, Hey, go, go for it.

430

Right?

431

Let's go push him and let's

max out on whatever this is.

432

At the same time, if you have a group

of females in a family and you're

433

going to have a family meeting or make

a major decision, recognizing that

434

cyclically we are all not going to

respond the same in that time period.

435

So if we meet people where they are,

And we're sensitive to that and not

436

make assumptions and take a breath.

437

We're going to navigate that

better because we're all in a

438

different place with a different

vital sign at that moment.

439

Sal Jefferies: That's very nice, um.

440

It really sort of strikes a

thought in my mind about this,

441

this nature of competitiveness.

442

You know, I'm, I'm all for making and

helping women become strong or making the

443

conditions to help them become strong.

444

Uh, I've trained in different

spaces, yoga, which is a

445

much more inclusive space.

446

generally, not always, but generally,

uh, where we're invited to be

447

really with what's going on, the

posture, the breath, your state.

448

Uh, there's more time and space.

449

I've been in CrossFit where

we're pushing hard and competing

450

and having fun with that.

451

And I like all of those spaces and I

think they're all relevant, but there's

452

something interesting about being self

aware enough to go, what do I need today?

453

You know, If it's a board meeting, if

you're a founder running a company,

454

maybe it's a terrible idea to do a

creative meeting with your team because

455

of where you're at in your cycle.

456

So can you then schedule that at

a better time and have a better

457

output, rather than forcing yourself

to be, in many ways, disingenuous?

458

Like, you know, being a version of you

that you're not supposed to be today.

459

Such a vital, vital point.

460

I'd like just to get a bit more

tech, I know you could probably go

461

super deep, but to broad stroke this.

462

If, um, If a woman's listening and

she's thinking, okay, I like to

463

like to exercise and train and we'll

just stay with that piece for now.

464

The different phases, there's

the luteal phase and what's the

465

Kristin Stovern: So it's,

uh, the follicular phase,

466

then ovulation, and then luteal phase.

467

Sal Jefferies: Luteal, yeah.

468

So, talk us through from

those three phases, perhaps,

469

Generally, I know we have to

470

generalize a little bit here, but

to kind of give us a framework.

471

Well, what kind of way should a woman

be as she goes through that cycle?

472

Take us from the sort of the

beginning through to the end.

473

What might be the, um, the complexion

and the approach that will be mostly

474

helpful?

475

Kristin Stovern: Okay, so the

start of your menstrual cycle

476

is when you're actually bleeding

from your previous cycle, right?

477

So you're shedding the lining of your

uterus and we always have to remember

478

that this whole process starts in your

brain So our brain and ovaries are

479

talking to each other and they have

to communicate with each other Well

480

without anybody fighting with them Right?

481

So your endocrine system is a system

that's your hormonal regulating system.

482

So your hypothalamus, pituitary

gland, thyroid gland, adrenal

483

glands, pancreas, ovaries.

484

They're all glandular systems

that are talking to each other.

485

If one of them wants to just argue that

day, then the rest of them are going to

486

be off and so is your menstrual cycle.

487

So always keep in mind when you're

talking about a menstrual cycle, yes,

488

we cycle, but anything in that endocrine

system is going to throw off that cycle.

489

So when we start our menstrual cycle, day

one is the day that you start bleeding.

490

That is the follicular phase of the cycle.

491

So your ovaries will have all these

follicles, or what people call cysts.

492

And one of the follicles gets chosen.

493

Hey, it's your turn.

494

You get to release an egg.

495

So that follicle in the

follicular phase matures.

496

So we're no longer little teenagers.

497

We're going to grow up.

498

That follicle is going to mature.

499

So you have your follicular phase,

that follicle matures, then you'll have

500

something called LH, luteinizing hormone,

release from your brain and then that

501

tells that follicle, release the egg.

502

Okay?

503

Within 24 hours, you're going to ovulate.

504

So that egg's released

into the fallopian tube.

505

You either get pregnant or you don't.

506

Our bodies are thinking.

507

I'm not saying that's how you're

thinking, but that's simplistically.

508

So you have ovulation, then your body

gives time for that egg to be fertilized.

509

If that does not happen, or it does, you

still go into your luteal phase, right?

510

So you ovulate, the time period happens,

then your body says, okay, I need

511

to create this plush environment and

plant this egg and the uterine lining.

512

So the luteal phase is that build up

that lining to make it really plush

513

and inviting and a great place for

an egg to hand, you know, to be.

514

That's typically 14 days if

it's a normal luteal phase.

515

And then when after that 14 days,

if you're not pregnant, your body

516

says, okay, nothing's happening.

517

Let's shed.

518

That is a menstrual cycle in

the simplest way that I can.

519

You know, it's much more complex than

that but that's the simplest way.

520

Now, follicular phase, when you're

bleeding, right, you're having a

521

period, you're shedding that line and

you're losing blood, you're having

522

cramping, you're having an increased

prostaglandin release in your pelvis,

523

which is gonna affect your bowels,

whether you have constipation, diarrhea,

524

urinary frequency, pressure on your

lower abdomen, you're gonna have more

525

joint pain possibly, symptoms like that.

526

You'll have that menstrual cycle,

and that's just a time to...

527

Certainly all women need to be really

conscientious about getting enough

528

protein, and I can't say that enough.

529

We need enough protein.

530

And, so, you want to support

that with protein, but that's

531

not a time to necessarily do long

fasts or to Do anything that's

532

a stressor when you're bleeding.

533

Now that bleeding may not

last very long, right?

534

So that may just be three days for you,

five days for you, seven days for you.

535

You certainly can

exercise during that time.

536

A higher protein, lower

carb diet is great.

537

Uh, when you get into that pre ovulation

and ovulation time, that's when your

538

testosterone level actually increases.

539

And that is your, I have

more energy, I feel good.

540

You can do your plyo workouts.

541

You can do a big cross fit workout.

542

PR if you want.

543

You can fast longer.

544

You can push your body.

545

Go for it.

546

Now, I say that with a caveat.

547

If you have a metabolic disorder,

you have polycystic ovaries, you have

548

autoimmune, you have chronic lack of

sleep, you have other stressors, please,

549

that's not what I'm saying to you.

550

I'm saying for those that have the ability

to have all the stars aligned just right.

551

And yes, those things are great.

552

Then when you, after you ovulate,

that's your luteal phase.

553

And that's a progesterone dominant

state where you are A little more tired.

554

You need a little bit more sleep.

555

You need more complex carbs.

556

Really shouldn't fast for long periods

of time during that time if you're

557

needing to support progesterone function.

558

And during that time, maybe you could go

on a longer, easier run if you wanted.

559

You could still lift.

560

Medium to Lightweights, but maybe that's

not the time to run a marathon, or

561

maybe that's not the time to compete

in your event, or maybe that's not

562

the time for you to do something

that's going to really push your body

563

mentally, physically, or otherwise.

564

And so then the cycle repeats.

565

That's the simplistic part

of the menstrual cycle.

566

Now I think of estrogen and

progesterone like sisters, right?

567

So, or twins.

568

We'll say twins.

569

So estrogen's like the outgoing,

energetic, Say anything.

570

Confident.

571

Go for it.

572

Hormone.

573

Progesterone's like, Chill.

574

Let's just hang out.

575

Calm.

576

Quiet.

577

I want to watch a movie.

578

Right?

579

It's estrogen and progesterone.

580

Now, women have a lot more testosterone

than we're ever given credit for.

581

And that's a super

important hormone for us.

582

Um, and testosterone is one that also

gives us the ability to lift the heavy

583

weights and to have the more confidence

and have a sex drive and have a desire.

584

And so I don't want to not mention

that because it's important.

585

But the sisters, estrogen and

progesterone, is what we mostly

586

think about in menstrual cycles

and understanding follicular and

587

luteal phases of menstrual cycles.

588

Did that help?

589

Ha ha ha!

590

Sal Jefferies: I, I have taken the

time to educate myself to some degree.

591

I live with a woman.

592

I have a sister, a female client.

593

So I'm sensitive and aware to a certain

level, but that was a beautiful,

594

uh, journey through the menstrual

cycle and the likelihood of what

595

influences, what states, what way

of being and what was appropriate.

596

So thank you.

597

That's so, so helpful because I guess

we need to find the, the overarching

598

understanding from people like you have

done the work and really understand this.

599

And then I've mentioned this phrase

before, but you know, white label it

600

and then say, well, what's that for me?

601

What, what do I want to do exercise wise?

602

What do I need to nurture myself?

603

If you're in work, do I need

to reschedule my meeting?

604

You know, don't need to push that back a

week because I'm just not thinking sharp.

605

And it's about, for me, it's about

that absolute connection to your body.

606

You know, it's, it's, uh, in the, in the

East, they, they talk about the Tao and

607

if you had the Tao, but this principle,

this, uh, overlap, overarching theme of

608

energy that just runs and the more we

get up in an abstraction of our mind,

609

like I must do X or must do Y, if your

body's saying, no, you need to, you need

610

to sleep or you need to go gentle on

yourself today and you push against that.

611

We are actually in, in some ways, That's

it's, a form of abuse in some ways

612

to, to be quite a strong term, right.

613

But it's a form of abuse, like

forcing yourself to do something.

614

Now, some people have to, I realize

there are experiences in the world

615

that you have to just get on with life.

616

And there are times where we need that

metal and that grunt, that kind of grit.

617

But we're talking about most

of the time here, aren't we?

618

We're talking about how to be more syn,

synthesized with your system, your, your

619

cycle, your body, and more self aware.

620

Now I want to kind of talk into

the emotional space because

621

we've got the physical in you.

622

That's just so nicely articulated.

623

Emotions.

624

So, well, let's name it.

625

Emotions are biochemicals, right.

626

They're signals and messengers, and

generally we term the word emotions

627

and feelings the same, but technically

emotions are biochemical and feelings are

628

the psychological interpretation of that.

629

So emotions could be, um, biochemicals

that tell me I'm, uh, under threat,

630

but the feeling I might have

is I'm scared or I'm not safe.

631

So I might interpret that.

632

What about the emotional health?

633

Of women.

634

'cause we talk about better health.

635

We've spoken about the mentals

cycle and the physical.

636

Let's blend that into the

emotional and sort of starting

637

to move towards the mental or

the psychological side of health.

638

How

639

do you work with that?

640

Kristin Stovern: Well, I'm going to

backtrack a little bit in order to

641

answer that because I want to make

sure that I speak to people in other

642

realms of their reproductive life.

643

Teenagers, their brains and ovaries

are trying to talk to each other

644

and they're not great at it.

645

And so...

646

Those of you that are guiding someone

that's through adolescence, I just ask

647

for you to have grace with them and let

them know to have grace with themselves.

648

When you're an adolescent going through

cycles, you do need to sleep more.

649

It's true.

650

So when your teenager wants to sleep

till noon on Saturday because they got

651

up all week for classes, I say let them.

652

They need that.

653

And to also realize they don't understand

why their bodies feel the way they do.

654

They don't get any signaling green

light, yellow light, red light.

655

This is why you feel this way.

656

And so you're not sure what you're

going to get from them emotionally.

657

You're not sure what you're going

to get in their energy levels.

658

And accepting of that and tell

yourself that before you respond.

659

Perimenopausal females.

660

It's the same thing as teenage years.

661

Just add some hot flashes, night

sweats, irritability, you don't

662

know what's coming when it's coming.

663

And so if we are aware enough to have

grace with ourselves and with others

664

to say, this is what my body needs.

665

It's okay to recognize it for what it is.

666

No one needs to know

that's how you're feeling.

667

But if you say, Hey, I'm just

kind of in a different headspace.

668

So I'm going to sit back and listen.

669

I'm with you.

670

I hear you.

671

I just need to kind of absorb today.

672

And so if you have that meeting and you

have no choice to go to that meeting,

673

think through that before you walk in,

this is where I am in my menstrual cycle.

674

This is how I'm feeling.

675

Go to the meeting.

676

You may become a version of yourself

that you're actually going to do better

677

and be more intuitive during that time

because you have a tendency to be more

678

intuitive during that time than you

would have been if you were in your

679

confident estrogen driven self, right?

680

And so, We aren't all having regular

cycles, but we are hormonal creatures

681

that change every day, all of the time.

682

Um, so emotionally, you know, I would

say the more we understand our bodies

683

and the ebbs and flows, and for us

hormonally understanding the brain

684

connection to the rest of the body,

the more likely we are to navigate

685

those emotions in a healthy way.

686

When I have someone who comes in and

they just really are struggling with

687

anxiety, They're so anxious all the time.

688

I don't know why I'm anxious.

689

I just can't make it stop.

690

I can't turn it off.

691

There's no reason.

692

Everything's going fine.

693

You know, I'm eating healthy.

694

I'm trying to get good sleep.

695

I'm not drinking a bunch of caffeine.

696

I'm going on walks.

697

You know, I'm doing all the things, right?

698

Anxiety and lack of progesterone

are common together.

699

Now whether that is, Hey, do

you feel that way all the time?

700

Are you creating a journal

of when you feel that way?

701

Are you just feeling that for

one to two weeks out of a month?

702

Do you have no warning

when that's happening?

703

That tells a story, right?

704

Is that hormonally driven?

705

Of course I'm going to say everything's

hormonally driven, but is it estrogen

706

and progesterone and testosterone driven?

707

Or is that something that we don't,

can't quite define and it's very

708

complex and has lots of variables?

709

If you come in and you say to

me, I am so depressed, I just...

710

I don't have any energy.

711

I'm really tired.

712

I don't want to talk to people.

713

I kind of want to run away.

714

I want to hide.

715

You've really got to find

more about that story.

716

How are you sleeping?

717

Where are you sleeping?

718

What's it look like?

719

How are your relationships?

720

How are you eating?

721

What are your cycles?

722

Are you having cycles?

723

What supplements are you taking?

724

What medications are you taking?

725

What lab work have you had?

726

Because as we age, One of the

things to think about is estrogen

727

is an insulin sensitive hormone.

728

As we lose it, we are

insulin resistant naturally.

729

Please hear that.

730

As you age and your insulin drops off,

your insulin resistance increases.

731

Well, duh!

732

Is it your fault that you're having

difficulty and you're gaining weight?

733

Right?

734

That you can't eat the carbs that

you did before without paying for it?

735

That you feel that carb load

fatigue, anxiety, joints ache, things

736

hurt, more headaches, brain fog?

737

it's how your body is flowing,

but you can do things to

738

maximize that and how you feel.

739

And so if you're having anxiety,

depression, uh, any avenue of having

740

personality difficulties, sleep

difficulties, we need to look at

741

the full picture and where you are.

742

I would say on that mental health

side of things, Nothing is as simple

743

as saying it's just your hormones.

744

We need to keep in mind that we have

a thyroid that if it doesn't function

745

properly, what's your thyroid do?

746

Your thyroid releases FSH.

747

What's that tell your ovaries to do?

748

Right?

749

It says release the follicle,

or mature the follicle.

750

What's LH do?

751

Tells you to ovulate.

752

Right?

753

If your parathyroid is messed

up, then your parathyroid is not

754

telling your thyroid what to do.

755

If your thyroid doesn't know

what to do, then it's not going

756

to tell your ovaries what to do.

757

Then if your ovaries are releasing

too much sex binding globulin and

758

it's telling your pancreas that

you need to release more insulin,

759

then you become hyperinsulinemic.

760

But then your adrenal glands are saying,

I'm stressed, I'm stressed, I'm stressed.

761

Cortisol driving a bus

suppresses progesterone, right?

762

So nothing is mutually exclusive.

763

But we are going to demonstrate

those symptoms with our emotions.

764

I'm anxious, I don't feel good, my heart

rate's racing, I'm having palpitations,

765

my stomach hurts, I'm constipated, I pee

all the time, my joints hurt, whatever

766

it is, they are all interrelated,

and the more we understand that, the

767

more we'll be patient to realize to

get to homeostasis is going to take

768

time and understanding that process.

769

It's a lot,

770

you know, it's, a lot,

771

it's

772

Sal Jefferies: it, it is

and it's so interesting.

773

I, I, I don't, I understand a

certain amount of hormones, so

774

it's so fascinating to hear that.

775

What I do understand is about systems and.

776

Every part of the body is interrelated,

you know, fascia, muscles,

777

tissue, HRV.

778

It's all related as so is the story in

our mind and our experience of everything.

779

So the more we understand, so I,

I think of hormones as a chemistry

780

set.

781

And I've spoken about this with my,

my, my experience of perimenopause.

782

And if the chemistry sets out a whack,

then we're going to have a, you know,

783

potential chemistry explosion of some

kind and same with physiological.

784

So if you are.

785

Hormonals are sedentary a lot.

786

which is a big problem

in the modern world.

787

The modern world is designed for comfort.

788

Chairs are everywhere, cars, it's like,

we need to move because the modern

789

world doesn't, doesn't demand it.

790

But yet the body has been around

for what thou hundreds of thousands

791

of years developing as a moving

792

system.

793

And if It doesn't move,

it's going to fail.

794

So we need to look at that.

795

But the hormonals thing is.

796

so, so interesting to hear.

797

I wanted to speak to, to

that a little bit more.

798

because there are things like

osteocalcin that's created by bones,

799

there's the hormone in the bones now

that's been a fairly recent finding.

800

So, and bones are signalling systems,

so if we look at, because people

801

talk about bones as structure, but

they're also signallers, there's

802

another term I've heard which is

quite beautiful, like an antenna.

803

If we are to move more, So

let's say someone is struggling.

804

They're, they're really stressed

out, feeling anxious, a lot of

805

pressures in life and work and all

those, those experiences, but they

806

haven't looked at the hormone mix,

they haven't had a conversation

807

with someone like you and maybe

they're not moving that much as well.

808

What might movement do to balance

the chemistry set and that whole

809

in, um, internal conversation

that each organ is having?

810

What do you know about the

811

effects of movements on that process?

812

Kristin Stovern: Well, we know

that serotonin, you know, is

813

our happiness hormone, right?

814

And we know that when we exercise, we

have a natural endorphin release, a

815

release of your, your neural hormones

that will cause happiness, right?

816

And that's because in your

brain, which estrogen lives with

817

your neural hormones, right?

818

If you are releasing more happiness

hormones because you are moving,

819

then you're automatically going to

improve your hormonal health, right?

820

And it doesn't take a lot of exercise.

821

So if we get outside, which outside,

sunlight, sky, there is something

822

to that, the being outside,

even if it's 10 minutes a day.

823

Not only are we getting vitamin

D from that, which vitamin

824

D is not a vitamin, right?

825

It's a hormone.

826

We need to think of it as a hormone.

827

If our vitamin D level is low, our

hormonal function everywhere is off.

828

Again, nothing's mutually exclusive.

829

So if we get outside, we get the

vitamin D and we get the movement,

830

we're going to improve the release

of the hormones that make you happy.

831

You get the sunlight that naturally

lights you up and then we will

832

improve our hormone function, right?

833

But at the same time, in the evenings,

if you go out and it's dark, you're

834

telling yourself when you go on that

walk, You walk into the yoga studio, do

835

yoga, you come back out and it's dark.

836

You're also telling your

cortisol, okay, it's time to

837

decrease, it's time to calm down.

838

It's time to quiet down.

839

It's rest time.

840

So, when we ebb and flow with our bodies

and we move our bodies and get blood

841

flow going, Absolutely, that helps every

organ system in your body, but what

842

we don't give enough credit is that

sunlight, that vitamin D, that movement

843

at the same time is going to release

the hormones, are going to improve

844

the hormone function that you have.

845

It can be as simple as 10 minutes.

846

Just go on a walk for 10 minutes.

847

If you do that, one week

you're going to feel different.

848

That sounds contrite, sounds ridiculous.

849

But it's really not.

850

It's going to be a huge stress reducer.

851

One of the things that I tell patients

when they're having a lot of stress,

852

so I would say majority of women, it's

more that anxiety component, it's more

853

that stress component, it's more that

bleeding too much, cycles are too long,

854

it's they have way too much insulin or

they're insulin resistant and have a

855

metabolic something going on, right?

856

If I say, could you just

do something for me?

857

Every day after one of your meals,

just go on a 10 minute walk.

858

Ten Minute Walk.

859

It will dramatically improve your health.

860

Now, will you have a six pack?

861

Will you have defined arms?

862

Will you have big muscular legs?

863

No, I'm not addressing that.

864

I'm addressing hormonal health

and mental health, right?

865

Um, and so, movement is going to

help with that hormonal release from

866

your brain, which then inadvertently

is going to affect everything else.

867

At the same time, we need to talk

about how muscles are are so important.

868

If we have muscles as females, we're

going to hold on to our hormones better.

869

We're going to utilize them better.

870

We're going to take care of

the stress hormone better.

871

Our insulin is not going to be an issue.

872

If we have muscles and strength,

we won't have sarcopenia.

873

Sarcopenia is where your, as

you age, your bones start to get

874

brittle or start to be less strong.

875

And that leads to osteoporosis,

osteopenia, right?

876

But sarcopenia.

877

It will happen as you age if you

don't try to fight that upward battle.

878

And so movement and muscles and muscle

strength will let you live longer, better

879

bones, better heart, better mental health.

880

Your brain, heart, and bones, with

strength training, they go together.

881

So, if we can all add...

882

10, 15 minutes of strength

training five days a week.

883

Doesn't have to be fancy.

884

Doesn't mean a six pack.

885

It means I want strong legs.

886

I want strong arms, strong core,

because I want to not have dementia

887

because I want to not be hunched

over and have osteoporosis because

888

I don't want to have a shortened

life and less of a quality of life.

889

Sal Jefferies: Perfect.

890

Uh, I, as the old expression, uh, singing

off the same hymn sheet, but the more

891

I've learned, the more I've got into this.

892

Yeah, I think muscle loss is around 3 to

5 percent for, I think it's for male and

893

female, but more for after the age of 40.

894

Every year, which is insane.

895

That's like, it's just your muscles just

waste away muscles will hold onto glucose

896

and help the whole kind of insulin glucose

897

conversation.

898

So if you, I think what is, I

heard it someone describe it as

899

a, as like a glucose sink, which

is an interesting term, but Yes.

900

And That's a whole thing, right.

901

If your muscles are stronger,

the denser, they're there.

902

But it's also something around the

mar large muscle groups of the legs.

903

So if you're sitting, and this is a

common problem for knowledge workers

904

who are at a desk at a machine and

they don't stand up for so long.

905

Those big muscles don't switch on.

906

The conversation information

doesn't go through that whole, uh,

907

physiological, chemical conversation.

908

So we've got blood sugar issues

and, and it's so simple, isn't it?

909

Go walking.

910

And of course the retina is the only

part of the brain That's exposed outside

911

the skull and that takes in the light,

switches on all those circadian rhythms.

912

And in some ways, I mean, people say

to me, this is, honestly, it's not

913

rocket science, it's neuroscience,

you know, it's, it's like, it's, it's

914

what we now know, but actually there's

something about implicit understanding,

915

because we all go, it's quite common

to go for a walk after a heavy meal

916

and think, oh, I feel a bit better.

917

And yet we sometimes have got lulled into

this modernity and like, Oh, I'll sit,

918

I'll drive, I'll do this, I'll do that.

919

Because walking up a hill is hard work.

920

Carrying weights is hard work.

921

I'm going to caveat that, right.

922

Anyone says to me, oh, you

know, training's hard work.

923

I know most people.

924

are hard workers.

925

They either run businesses, they're

freelancers, they're parents.

926

Life is hard work.

927

So you've got the skill.

928

The misunderstanding with exercise, it's

a thing you should do for a visual output.

929

Like, I'll look better.

930

And I, I, I spoke to someone

once and I said to them,

931

it's never about that for me.

932

It's about a feeling.

933

You can't buy the feeling of strength.

934

in your body.

935

You can't buy the feeling of

vitality as you go for a run, and

936

you don't have to be an athlete.

937

You might do a two mile run,

that's fine, but the feeling is

938

something we strive for by buying

products, by seeking experiences.

939

A feeling is readily available

when you connect with your body.

940

and have that better understanding.

941

It's so, so vital.

942

Christine, I know you have a

huge wealth in this, but I wanted

943

to go to my other space that I

spend a lot of time with people.

944

And that's the mind, the thoughts,

the story, the beliefs, the identity,

945

who we are as a person, which

in many ways dictates our body.

946

I've seen people with a certain

posture, which tells me probably

947

how they all express as a person.

948

And they'll tell me a story and

I, they'll get up from a chair

949

and I know how they're going to

walk because they're interrelated.

950

What would you say for, for our, for our

listeners, for, for health, for women's

951

health and perhaps the psychological

piece, if you can speak to that, what's

952

your part of working with that health

part of a person, of a woman, and

953

what can, what can they do about that?

954

Kristin Stovern: So, once

again, complex question, right?

955

With a complex answer.

956

Most of us, if not all, and I don't

know if it's all, but we carry with

957

us the traumas of our lives, we carry

with the experiences of our lives, and

958

many of the bad experiences are what

define us and make us become who we are.

959

I would say that professionally for

me and, and the work that I've done

960

was not for many years necessarily

purposeful to go to the direction

961

to speak on the level that I do.

962

Uh, I am an introvert.

963

So I am an introvert extrovert, right?

964

So I would rather be at home.

965

I'd rather not talk to people.

966

I would rather work out by myself.

967

I would rather read a book, watch

a show, not talk on the phone.

968

I'm just not that person.

969

Social event, be with people, person,

but because the pain that I've, I've

970

experienced myself and the pain that

I've watched other women hold onto, it's

971

created purpose and that purpose is the

only way that we can navigate forward

972

without holding onto that pain is to

recognize that the traumas, the pain,

973

the adversity, that we carry each day.

974

If we can turn that into a powerful

purpose, then we can make a breakthrough

975

in how we feel and how we live and

the quality of our relationships

976

and the quality of our lives and

those moments in your life when

977

you feel like you are not heard.

978

If you've listened to yourself and

you've said to yourself, I am worthy.

979

If I'm just sitting here, Doing nothing,

saying nothing, accomplishing nothing.

980

I am still worthy.

981

If I don't have this long list of

degrees or accomplishments or this

982

great job or this family or these

children that I wanted so badly that

983

I couldn't have, or this life that I

wanted, or this, this spouse that I

984

wanted, does that make you less worthy?

985

It doesn't.

986

And to have people come into my

life in whatever capacity and

987

knowing the pain that I carry every

day, I don't want that for them.

988

So if we can acknowledge and

validate the feelings, the emotions,

989

the trauma, and say, you're

worthy, that doesn't define you.

990

And if we can walk forward,

you're going to feel better.

991

Whether that's mentally, physically.

992

Whether that's in your relationships

and your future, acknowledging

993

that our pain does not define us,

it's what's going to evolve us.

994

And if we can just say to ourselves,

okay, that wasn't awesome.

995

I wasn't that nice just now.

996

I didn't handle that great.

997

I'm gonna have grace with myself.

998

I'm gonna release that feeling.

999

And I'm going to move forward

in a way that is going to

00:51:11,491 --> 00:51:13,961

improve, grow, and change.

00:51:14,651 --> 00:51:16,591

Now, am I good at any of this?

00:51:16,591 --> 00:51:17,321

No, I'm not.

00:51:17,341 --> 00:51:20,421

I'm learning and lots of therapy, right?

00:51:20,791 --> 00:51:25,511

Lots of journaling, walking, doing

things wrong, screwing up, saying

00:51:25,511 --> 00:51:30,441

I'm sorry, apologizing, carrying the

guilt, trying to release the guilt.

00:51:31,371 --> 00:51:34,291

But through that process,

recognizing where I am in life,

00:51:34,291 --> 00:51:36,851

I'm a perimenopausal female, right?

00:51:37,546 --> 00:51:41,806

And I was an adolescent that had no one to

talk to, and a young adult that had no one

00:51:41,806 --> 00:51:46,806

to talk to, and have coped with anxiety

and depression, and having difficulty

00:51:46,806 --> 00:51:53,206

feeling that I am unworthy, which sounds

ridiculous when you say it out loud, but

00:51:53,206 --> 00:51:58,356

that mental space of acknowledging where

we are, and that our traumas, that our

00:51:58,356 --> 00:52:02,806

experiences, that the things that have

happened in our lives, yes, they make

00:52:02,806 --> 00:52:05,296

us who we are, but they don't define us.

00:52:06,656 --> 00:52:09,136

And if we will face those, then

we're going to feel better.

00:52:09,136 --> 00:52:12,096

And those vital signs I talked

about are going to get better.

00:52:15,031 --> 00:52:17,691

Sal Jefferies: Beautifully put,

and thank you for being so candid

00:52:17,691 --> 00:52:19,261

and honest and, and, and raw.

00:52:19,991 --> 00:52:20,831

It's so true.

00:52:20,851 --> 00:52:22,531

It's so, so true, isn't it?

00:52:22,541 --> 00:52:26,766

That, that sense of, We do so much as

humans, certainly in the modern world,

00:52:26,776 --> 00:52:31,046

like, you know, uh, accolades, businesses,

money, whatever the, the, whatever the

00:52:31,046 --> 00:52:35,646

signs or the external things, we're

there, we're trying to prove something.

00:52:35,686 --> 00:52:37,686

It's such a big one with

people I've worked with.

00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:38,946

What are you trying to prove?

00:52:39,256 --> 00:52:40,536

Why, why grow a business?

00:52:40,556 --> 00:52:42,616

Why be successful athlete?

00:52:42,616 --> 00:52:42,936

Whatever.

00:52:43,426 --> 00:52:44,246

What's that about?

00:52:44,756 --> 00:52:48,811

Because if there's a hole in your

soul, None of that stuff will fill it.

00:52:49,561 --> 00:52:50,591

It doesn't work that way.

00:52:50,841 --> 00:52:54,461

So that's where you need to do the deep

work and you know, trauma works powerful.

00:52:54,491 --> 00:52:57,871

Trauma is always the experience,

normally from childhood for some

00:52:57,871 --> 00:53:01,251

reasons for many people, but it's

where there wasn't power, you were

00:53:01,251 --> 00:53:03,601

helpless, and you didn't know what to do.

00:53:03,701 --> 00:53:05,281

You had to shut down.

00:53:05,621 --> 00:53:07,191

That's the kind of the trauma matrix.

00:53:08,001 --> 00:53:11,291

But when you move through, hopefully, your

life and you've, you're with people who

00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:13,911

are kind and care, trauma can be healed.

00:53:14,416 --> 00:53:15,486

Trauma can be understood.

00:53:15,516 --> 00:53:18,336

Post traumatic growth is a well

understood phenomenon, where we make

00:53:18,356 --> 00:53:22,636

meaning out of something, where we

find our power back, we move on,

00:53:22,676 --> 00:53:25,476

and I love what you said there about

moving from your pain, it's powerful.

00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:28,326

You know, I'm going to add in

something which struck me many years

00:53:28,326 --> 00:53:29,636

ago, which is the art of Kintsugi.

00:53:30,436 --> 00:53:30,686

I don't.

00:53:30,686 --> 00:53:34,986

know if you know this, it's a Japanese,

um, it's a Japanese philosophy

00:53:35,126 --> 00:53:41,271

and practice, and Kintsugi is,

if you had a vase, And you broke

00:53:41,271 --> 00:53:42,811

your vase and it got on the floor.

00:53:43,541 --> 00:53:47,391

Instead of throwing it away, in the old

tradition of the Japanese tradition, they

00:53:47,391 --> 00:53:51,321

would pick the vase up and they would

mend the vase carefully and, um, bring

00:53:51,331 --> 00:53:56,141

it all back together, but the broken

pieces they would fill with gold leaf.

00:53:57,191 --> 00:54:01,161

And what the, both the practice and

the philosophy was that something

00:54:01,241 --> 00:54:05,061

that has been broken, repaired is more

beautiful afterwards than it was before.

00:54:05,236 --> 00:54:05,656

Kristin Stovern: wow.

00:54:05,786 --> 00:54:06,276

Yes.

00:54:07,326 --> 00:54:07,906

Yes.

00:54:07,971 --> 00:54:10,851

Sal Jefferies: golden scars in your

heart, in your soul, in your mind.

00:54:11,236 --> 00:54:15,006

If you have them, if you can repair

them, it can be like this practice

00:54:15,006 --> 00:54:18,336

of kintsugi where yeah, the scars are

revealed, but they glow with gold.

00:54:18,336 --> 00:54:21,986

And I think it's so

important to face that stuff.

00:54:22,246 --> 00:54:23,236

It's not easy.

00:54:23,546 --> 00:54:27,006

Many of us have got traumas and

it does need that attention.

00:54:27,006 --> 00:54:28,246

So that's really powerful.

00:54:28,246 --> 00:54:28,616

Thank you,

00:54:28,621 --> 00:54:29,061

Kristin Stovern: Sure.

00:54:29,071 --> 00:54:32,531

Well, and I think something I'd like to

add there based on when you were talking

00:54:32,531 --> 00:54:36,351

about the looking at that vase and the

broken pieces and putting it together

00:54:36,821 --> 00:54:38,831

is that that's our health care system.

00:54:39,361 --> 00:54:40,621

Our health care system in the U.

00:54:40,621 --> 00:54:40,871

S.

00:54:40,881 --> 00:54:41,371

is broken.

00:54:41,811 --> 00:54:43,161

It's reactive medicine.

00:54:44,111 --> 00:54:47,531

And in the maternal health realm

and the reproductive health

00:54:47,531 --> 00:54:51,751

realm and the perimenopausal and

menopausal health realm, it has

00:54:51,751 --> 00:54:53,971

been under researched, undervalued.

00:54:54,881 --> 00:54:56,441

Women have been dismissed.

00:54:56,921 --> 00:55:01,231

have been given treatment based

on biases or lack thereof.

00:55:01,881 --> 00:55:05,311

And we have many women who've gone

through traumatic childbirth that

00:55:05,311 --> 00:55:09,021

have had traumatic experiences as

a mother based on how they were

00:55:09,021 --> 00:55:10,411

treated by a health care system.

00:55:10,901 --> 00:55:15,331

Society has told women many times over

that our bodies are not as worthy as

00:55:15,331 --> 00:55:19,351

our male counterparts, that we are not

as important as our male counterparts.

00:55:19,352 --> 00:55:24,056

And many of us will subconsciously

start to think it's true.

00:55:24,616 --> 00:55:26,346

I'm supposed to take

care of everybody else.

00:55:26,366 --> 00:55:28,986

I'm supposed to be treated like

I don't get a choice and you're

00:55:28,986 --> 00:55:30,076

going to tell me what to do.

00:55:30,406 --> 00:55:33,446

I'm supposed to think

that I don't get a choice.

00:55:34,426 --> 00:55:36,256

That what happens, I don't get a choice.

00:55:36,276 --> 00:55:39,566

And then you have the perimenopausal

and menopausal population that

00:55:39,566 --> 00:55:44,266

have been shamed for their health.

00:55:45,081 --> 00:55:45,941

Process.

00:55:46,031 --> 00:55:49,591

This is a normal, natural health process.

00:55:49,891 --> 00:55:51,541

Why are we not allowed to talk about it?

00:55:51,761 --> 00:55:54,341

And why isn't it something

that's mainstream discussion?

00:55:54,941 --> 00:55:59,131

We have women for decades that were

told, Well, that's just how it is.

00:55:59,591 --> 00:56:00,231

You feel terrible?

00:56:00,231 --> 00:56:01,131

That's just how it is.

00:56:02,071 --> 00:56:06,441

So ask yourself, why are 80 percent of

those in the Alzheimer's facilities women?

00:56:07,221 --> 00:56:11,571

Why are the majority of those that are

having issues with osteoporosis women?

00:56:12,471 --> 00:56:18,421

Why are women more likely to die from

a heart attack at that first MI event?

00:56:19,201 --> 00:56:23,401

Hormones decline, brain, heart, bones.

00:56:23,931 --> 00:56:25,301

Why are we not important?

00:56:25,821 --> 00:56:30,451

So I think if we recognize that we've

been told for generations that we aren't

00:56:30,481 --> 00:56:34,621

important, that our voices shouldn't

be heard, that what's occurred to us

00:56:35,271 --> 00:56:39,401

is just part of it, it just is what

it is, that's how it is, deal with it.

00:56:40,586 --> 00:56:43,416

I want you all to tell

yourselves, that's not okay.

00:56:43,706 --> 00:56:44,916

You are worthy.

00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:47,246

I'm sorry someone said that to you.

00:56:48,156 --> 00:56:51,896

Maybe it is where you are, but that

doesn't mean that's how you have to feel.

00:56:52,806 --> 00:56:57,096

And I'm sorry that you weren't listened

to, and you are just as worthy as your

00:56:57,096 --> 00:57:01,856

male counterpart, regardless of what

politics tells you, the healthcare system

00:57:01,856 --> 00:57:06,816

tells you, if your color of your skin is

not the same as your neighbor's, that does

00:57:06,816 --> 00:57:10,386

not make you less valuable or less worthy.

00:57:10,386 --> 00:57:11,986

We all should be heard.

00:57:12,366 --> 00:57:15,166

And if we can just get

over that hurdle and treat.

00:57:15,341 --> 00:57:20,041

If each of us, like we deserve to be

happy, feel good, be listened to, and

00:57:20,041 --> 00:57:24,461

be given the tools to navigate wherever

we are the best we can, then we have

00:57:24,481 --> 00:57:26,921

truly left a legacy of better health.

00:57:27,181 --> 00:57:30,121

We can't get there until we

let those barriers come down.

00:57:30,281 --> 00:57:35,291

And we will only get there if each of

you out there, not me, not you Sal,

00:57:35,821 --> 00:57:39,691

every person that's listening, that's

out there, that's navigating this life

00:57:39,691 --> 00:57:44,081

with you, feels that way too or is

told that enough times they believe it.

00:57:44,556 --> 00:57:44,936

Right?

00:57:45,286 --> 00:57:50,226

So if I tell my kids, you really need

to eat that broccoli and we know that

00:57:50,226 --> 00:57:53,246

if you're exposed to that broccoli,

I can't remember the science now,

00:57:53,246 --> 00:57:56,126

but it's, I want to say 15 times

in your taste buds adapt, depending

00:57:56,126 --> 00:57:57,386

on your age or something like that.

00:57:57,386 --> 00:57:57,636

Right?

00:57:58,096 --> 00:58:02,496

So if we tell someone enough times,

you are heard, you are worthy.

00:58:02,516 --> 00:58:05,936

Your value is just as

much as everybody else.

00:58:06,226 --> 00:58:08,876

Eventually you will believe it.

00:58:09,261 --> 00:58:10,061

And then guess what?

00:58:10,061 --> 00:58:12,201

You're going to pass that down

to the generations after you.

00:58:12,211 --> 00:58:13,981

Cause you're going to say, you know what?

00:58:13,981 --> 00:58:15,631

You're not perfect, but you are beautiful.

00:58:15,631 --> 00:58:17,341

Like you are, you are wonderful.

00:58:17,341 --> 00:58:19,451

Like you are, you deserve to feel good.

00:58:19,461 --> 00:58:21,371

You deserve to be heard.

00:58:22,471 --> 00:58:23,761

Is that not where we should be?

00:58:26,131 --> 00:58:29,061

Sorry for that, but it's just really

important to me, you know, for people

00:58:29,061 --> 00:58:33,821

to, to hear that we're listening, we

care and it doesn't have to be this way.

00:58:34,811 --> 00:58:35,411

Sal Jefferies: You're welcome.

00:58:35,431 --> 00:58:36,621

I'm going to pull you up.

00:58:36,661 --> 00:58:37,551

Don't apologize.

00:58:38,861 --> 00:58:43,221

This is a platform where, you know,

I'm a white male, you know, and it's,

00:58:43,221 --> 00:58:45,961

you're born, I'm born, it's a privilege

just because it is, and only in more

00:58:45,971 --> 00:58:48,121

recent times have one understood that.

00:58:49,391 --> 00:58:51,171

But of course, that's part

of the conversation when you

00:58:51,171 --> 00:58:52,711

go, ah, oh, I'm part of the.

00:58:52,936 --> 00:58:54,836

not problem as such, but I'm part of the

00:58:54,836 --> 00:58:55,576

solution.

00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,046

So it's like, Yeah.

00:58:57,046 --> 00:59:00,866

let's have someone like Christine be

vocal and to be profound and to be there

00:59:01,066 --> 00:59:03,116

and to share that and say, I hear you.

00:59:03,246 --> 00:59:05,146

I see you What do we do together?

00:59:05,596 --> 00:59:07,086

Cause we can't do it on our own.

00:59:07,116 --> 00:59:08,436

And I think it's about coming

00:59:08,436 --> 00:59:08,796

together,

00:59:08,796 --> 00:59:09,166

isn't it?

00:59:09,176 --> 00:59:11,266

So, wow.

00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:13,436

Well, it's been an absolute

delight to have you on.

00:59:13,436 --> 00:59:13,716

Thank you.

00:59:13,716 --> 00:59:16,766

for sharing your knowledge, both

in the health field, in the women's

00:59:16,766 --> 00:59:19,776

space, um, as an advocate of women and.

00:59:20,271 --> 00:59:22,521

about being a valid

human being at the end.

00:59:22,521 --> 00:59:25,531

It's really precious and I'm so

thankful you came to join me today.

00:59:27,561 --> 00:59:31,391

So my dear listener, I hope that

you have just made loads of notes.

00:59:31,391 --> 00:59:34,341

Do hit the replay and grab

the understanding of the

00:59:34,341 --> 00:59:35,551

phase if that's your thing.

00:59:35,971 --> 00:59:40,611

Uh, as always, I'm reachable on the

pod page, my social channels, my

00:59:40,641 --> 00:59:45,311

website links for myself and for

Christine will be in the show notes.

00:59:45,641 --> 00:59:48,351

So stay present, stay

connected, take care.

00:59:50,122 --> 00:59:51,772

Thank you so much for listening.

00:59:52,042 --> 00:59:55,612

If you enjoyed the episode,

please subscribe and if a friend

00:59:55,612 --> 00:59:58,702

would benefit from hearing this,

do send it on to them as well.

00:59:59,902 --> 01:00:02,902

If you would like to get in touch

yourself, then you can go to my website,

01:00:03,142 --> 01:00:11,812

which is sal jeffries.com, spelled S

A L J E F E R I E s sal jeffries.com.

01:00:12,112 --> 01:00:15,472

Hit the get in touch link and there

you can send me a direct message.

01:00:16,417 --> 01:00:19,297

If you'd like to go one step further

and learn whether coaching could help

01:00:19,297 --> 01:00:23,977

you overcome a challenge or a block

in your life, then do reach out and

01:00:23,977 --> 01:00:27,367

I offer a call where we can discuss

how this may be able to help you.

01:00:28,237 --> 01:00:30,157

Until the next time, take care.