This week's Healing Moment is an action step Jessica uses regularly in her clinical work: writing an unsent letter. It's a simple, powerful practice for releasing what you've been holding onto — honestly, and without ever having to send it.
What You'll Learn
An unsent letter is written with full honesty, knowing it will never reach its recipient. It's not about the person on the other end — it's about you, and what needs somewhere to go. Jessica offers a few starting points for who or what you might write to:
A person who hurt you, disappointed you, or left something unresolved between you
A version of yourself — younger, older, or one you had to leave behind
A situation that didn't go the way you needed it to
A loss you've never fully named
Something you're ready to let go of, but haven't found the words for yet
The instructions are simple: start with "Dear ___," and let it come. Don't edit. Don't make it fair or balanced. When you're done, the letter is yours to burn, delete, fold away, or keep — there's no wrong answer. The healing is in the writing itself.
Jessica also touches on why this practice works: emotions like grief, anger, love, longing, and guilt need expression to move. Left locked inside, they don't disappear — they go underground and show up sideways. The unsent letter gives them somewhere to go.
A Note From Jessica
Jessica leaves listeners with a reflection question to sit with this week: When was the last time you truly relaxed and let go? She also shares a small teaser about the bigger project she's been working on behind the scenes.
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Transcripts
Jessica (:
Welcome back. I'm Jessica Calarco, and this is your healing moment for the week. As you know, this summer I have a series called Healing Moments. We have short, powerful episodes to keep the healing going. Last week we asked, who have you been this summer? And this week we're going to release something. Not dramatically, not perfectly, just honestly.
Today's healing moment is an action step, and it's one I use in my clinical work regularly because it is quietly one of the most powerful things a person can do for themselves. We are writing an unsent letter.
An unsent letter is exactly what it sounds like. A letter you write with full honesty, knowing it will never be sent. It's not about the recipient, it's about you, about what you've been holding that needs somewhere to go. Here's who or what you might write to: a person who hurt you, disappointed you, or left something unresolved between you.
A version of yourself, younger, older, the one you had to leave behind. A situation that didn't go the way you needed it to. A loss you've never fully named. Something you're ready to let go of, but haven't found the words yet. Take a few minutes right now, or you can come back to this later today and write the letter. Start with dear blank.
And then just let it come. Don't edit, don't make it fair or balanced. Just let yourself say the things you've been circling around. When you're done, you decide what to do with it. You can burn it, delete it, fold it up, and put it somewhere private, or keep it. Sometimes rereading it later is part of the healing, too. There is no wrong answer. The healing is in the writing.
Grief, anger, love, longing, guilt. These emotions need expression to move. When we keep them locked inside, they don't disappear. They go underground and show up sideways. The unsent letter gives them somewhere to go. You don't have to be ready to forgive. You don't have to have it figured out. You just have to be willing to tell the truth to yourself on a piece of paper in private.
That's enough. And that's actually a lot. I'll see you next Monday. Be gentle with yourself this week. I have a little teaser for the project I'm working on. And my question for you is: when was the last time you relaxed that you truly let go and felt relaxed?
If you'd like to read my blog or stay up to date, you can sign up for the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com. You can follow me on Instagram at Healing Is My Hobby or on YouTube at Healing is My Hobby. And if you'd like to know more about my clinical practice, you can visit Jessica Calarco LCSW.com or follow me on Instagram at Jessica ColarcoLCSW. Thank you. Keep healing because you are worth it.
