Today’s story is “The Man Whose Life Ran Away” by Rob MacWolf, and you can find more of his writing as well as a lot of bad jokes on his SoFurry page.
Today’s story will be read for you by William Dingo, the sunrise spectator.
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https://thevoice.dog/episode/the-man-whose-life-ran-away-by-rob-macwolf-read-by-william-dingo
You’re listening to The Voice of Dog. I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,
Speaker:and Today’s story is
Speaker:“The Man Whose Life Ran Away” by Rob MacWolf, and you can find more of his writing as well as a lot of bad jokes on his SoFurry page.
Speaker:Today’s story will be read for you by William Dingo,
Speaker:the sunrise spectator.
Please enjoy:“The Man Whose Life Ran Away”
Please enjoy:by Rob MacWolf Once upon a time
Please enjoy:there was a man, whose life had run away from him.
Please enjoy:He was waiting for the things that happen to the young
Please enjoy:to happen to him
Please enjoy:—he wished to fall in love,
Please enjoy:to go on an adventure,
Please enjoy:to try to make his fortune fail or succeed as he may
Please enjoy:—and he waited for all of these things to happen
Please enjoy:until the day he realized that he was no longer young,
Please enjoy:and the time for all of them
Please enjoy:was past. And whatever his life was supposed to be,
Please enjoy:it had run away, and he must either sit down and wait for death,
Please enjoy:or go and find it again.
Please enjoy:So he went down to the city, to the great cathedral,
Please enjoy:to ask the Archangel of Wisdom
Please enjoy:what to do. The cathedral was like a riotous forest of stone,
Please enjoy:whose trees had become pillars,
Please enjoy:whose canopy had become a roof,
Please enjoy:and whose fruit was frozen into pictures in glass.
Please enjoy:But there were bars over the glass pictures, to keep out thieves,
Please enjoy:and the door was locked all day
Please enjoy:save when there was a liturgy.
Please enjoy:To speak to the Archangel,
Please enjoy:the man had to kneel by the side
Please enjoy:-door and whisper through the mail-slot.
Please enjoy:“What troubles thee?”
Please enjoy:said the angel. Its many wings were pressed against the door,
Please enjoy:and its face was covered by a shining mask.
Please enjoy:“I do not know,” said the man.
Please enjoy:“I have been diligent and dutiful.
Please enjoy:I have been kind and conscientious.
Please enjoy:I have been humble.
Please enjoy:Yet still all the world seems purposeless vanity.
Please enjoy:Every day do I see that
Please enjoy:all the people of the world
Please enjoy:have a purpose in life,
Please enjoy:yet I have none.” “None are created without a purpose,”
Please enjoy:said the Angel. “If thou could choose any purpose, what would it be?
Please enjoy:Anything at all?” “I know not,”
Please enjoy:said the man, “I suppose I would like a family,
Please enjoy:but my family have shut their doors against me,
Please enjoy:and I have never seen a woman that seemed comely to me,
Please enjoy:nor have any ever professed any affection for me.
Please enjoy:I suppose I would like a home,
Please enjoy:but I have no money,
Please enjoy:and do not like my work,
Please enjoy:nor do I know of any other work I might like more,
Please enjoy:and even if I had it
Please enjoy:it would not pay enough to buy a home.
Please enjoy:I suppose I would like to be remembered and mourned,
Please enjoy:when I die, by my friends,
Please enjoy:but I have none of those.”
Please enjoy:“I think I see your fault,”
Please enjoy:said the Angel. “Thou art guilty of sloth.
Please enjoy:Thy life has concluded
Please enjoy:that thou care nothing for it,
Please enjoy:and so it has left.
Please enjoy:Rouse thyself, and choose to like all the things that life puts before you,
Please enjoy:and do not complain,
Please enjoy:even in thy innermost heart,
Please enjoy:about any of them.
Please enjoy:Then, when thy life sees that thou art grateful for the things it will give you,
Please enjoy:will it return!” “But…
Please enjoy:what am I to do if it does not give me the things I want?”
Please enjoy:he said. The Angel was silent for long enough that the man feared that it had left.
Please enjoy:“Do not fall into heresy and perdition!” it whispered at last,
Please enjoy:in a voice like a distant tornado siren.
Please enjoy:“What thou speak of is close to gravest vanity,
Please enjoy:and this is, no doubt,
Please enjoy:why thou art without purpose!
Please enjoy:Until thou make up thy mind
Please enjoy:that whatever your life decides to give you, is best for you,
Please enjoy:I see no end to your plight!
Please enjoy:When your life bring thee a woman to wed,
Please enjoy:wed her, and love her!
Please enjoy:Or it bring thee to holy orders,
Please enjoy:take them, and love them.
Please enjoy:If your life does not bring you a home, or friends,
Please enjoy:then pay them no mind!”
Please enjoy:And this seemed unfair to the man,
Please enjoy:for he had never seen a woman that he desired,
Please enjoy:and nor did he feel any call to any priesthood,
Please enjoy:and he did not think he had it in him to cease to want things
Please enjoy:merely because he did not have them.
Please enjoy:And he said “This, you say,
Please enjoy:is why my life has escaped me?”
Please enjoy:“I have no doubt,” answered the Angel,
Please enjoy:“that it is the workings of Providence.
Please enjoy:To keep thee from the path of sin,
Please enjoy:that path is wiped away,
Please enjoy:and the life suspended,
Please enjoy:like a tree in an ice storm
Please enjoy:in spring whose buds are frozen forever
Please enjoy:and never bloom.” “Is it not said that
Please enjoy:by the fruits of our lives we shall be judged?”
Please enjoy:“It is.” “And if a man’s life bore no fruits at all,”
Please enjoy:the man’s voice was very quiet indeed,
Please enjoy:but the angel heard him,
Please enjoy:“such that he might just as well have never been born,
Please enjoy:how would you judge such a life?”
Please enjoy:“I have judged some such lives,”
Please enjoy:the Angel said. Its voice was weary.
Please enjoy:“And to them I must say
Please enjoy:‘May you never bear fruit again,’
Please enjoy:and they are withered from the roots,
Please enjoy:and cast out from the light,
Please enjoy:and are never heard of any more.”
Please enjoy:“And how is this just?”
Please enjoy:said the Man, “If it is by providence that my life bears no fruit,
Please enjoy:against my wishes,
Please enjoy:that I should then be condemned and
Please enjoy:withered for the lack of fruit by the same providence?”
Please enjoy:When the Angel did not answer,
Please enjoy:the Man said “I will go seek
Please enjoy:other answers, if you have none to give.”
Please enjoy:The Angel’s voice rang out like a train in a tunnel
Please enjoy:“Turn not away from the light!
Please enjoy:Have no dealings with pagan things!”
Please enjoy:“If unpagan things will not help me,
Please enjoy:where else but to pagan things can I go?
Please enjoy:Farewell!” said the man,
Please enjoy:and he left. The man went to the orc-folk.
Please enjoy:He sought them in their wasteland strongholds,
Please enjoy:and in their underground lairs,
Please enjoy:and in their cheap bars,
Please enjoy:and on their websites where unlawful things were bought and sold.
Please enjoy:He drank with them,
Please enjoy:and he listened to their loud music,
Please enjoy:and he stayed up with them all night
Please enjoy:until they went to sleep at sunrise,
Please enjoy:for he had heard that
Please enjoy:all of these were the kind of things that people did
Please enjoy:when they wished to find themselves.
Please enjoy:And the orcs told him
Please enjoy:“Who cares if your life has escaped from you?
Please enjoy:You’re still here, and you don’t need a life to dance,
Please enjoy:or to drink, or to fight!
Please enjoy:Stay with us, and debauch with us,
Please enjoy:and forget everything else.
Please enjoy:Have more fun than you can endure,
Please enjoy:for then you cannot regret
Please enjoy:anything! Who knows
Please enjoy:but that tomorrow we may all be dead,
Please enjoy:so make the most of the night!”
Please enjoy:And the man grew weary of them,
Please enjoy:and went on, for the orcs had no answers for him.
Please enjoy:The man went to the wolves,
Please enjoy:on the plains and in the forests,
Please enjoy:and he followed them through national parks,
Please enjoy:and down game trails,
Please enjoy:and he made camp in the tundra.
Please enjoy:And they came around his campfire
Please enjoy:so that they were nothing but black shapes and eyes
Please enjoy:shining in the darkness,
Please enjoy:and they said to him,
Please enjoy:“Why do you trouble us with questions about your life?
Please enjoy:What is your life to us?
Please enjoy:We have our own lives,
Please enjoy:and even if we had yours
Please enjoy:it would be nothing to us.
Please enjoy:Was your life chasing the caribou?
Please enjoy:Did it find its way to water and shelter by smell alone?
Please enjoy:Did it face bears and lynx
Please enjoy:and the bitter cold with nothing but the courage of its family?”
Please enjoy:“No,” said the man, warming his hands at the fire.
Please enjoy:“I have no family,
Please enjoy:nor can I get one until I find my life again.”
Please enjoy:“That is the saddest thing we have
Please enjoy:ever heard of.” said the wolves,
Please enjoy:and left him. All night he heard them howling to one another across the empty plains,
Please enjoy:about how pitiful he was.
Please enjoy:In the morning the man went on,
Please enjoy:for they had no answers for him.
Please enjoy:The man went to the loons
Please enjoy:on the still waters of the cold lakes.
Please enjoy:And they said “what does it matter if your life has escaped?
Please enjoy:Life does not matter
Please enjoy:—the fish are caught,
Please enjoy:the nest is built,
Please enjoy:the chicks are hatched,
Please enjoy:the winter comes and you fly away to the sea,
Please enjoy:as surely as night follows day and day follows night,
Please enjoy:and even if you should fail to do these things,
Please enjoy:someone else will do them
Please enjoy:—Life can look after itself.
Please enjoy:But it is Death that should concern you.
Please enjoy:Death must be mourned, and appeased, and sung away,
Please enjoy:and at long last welcomed.
Please enjoy:If you wish, you may build a cabin on the lakeshore,
Please enjoy:and listen to the requiems we sing,
Please enjoy:and in time you will learn the secrets of death that none know but us.” “I care
Please enjoy:nothing for the secrets of death,”
Please enjoy:said the man, “I want the secrets of my life,
Please enjoy:and I cannot know them until I get it back!”
Please enjoy:“Why do you seek among the living?”
Please enjoy:said one of the loons.
Please enjoy:The others turned in the water to look at it,
Please enjoy:like tugboats around a steam barge.
Please enjoy:“You know your life has gone,
Please enjoy:why look in the places that it would be
Please enjoy:if it had not left?
Please enjoy:We have seen from the skies where lives go,
Please enjoy:when they depart,
Please enjoy:to the way to the land of the dead,
Please enjoy:and I can tell you where it lies.
Please enjoy:Seek there!” So the man journeyed to the land of the dead.
Please enjoy:In the land of the dead
Please enjoy:the man saw great forests,
Please enjoy:with trees larger than mountains.
Please enjoy:And there were buildings
Please enjoy:made all of old stones
Please enjoy:—stores and houses
Please enjoy:and apartment blocks and strange ruins
Please enjoy:whose purpose he could not guess
Please enjoy:—with nothing inside them, and falling apart,
Please enjoy:and hanging in the air without falling.
Please enjoy:And there were skies
Please enjoy:with stars brighter and more riotous and more numerous,
Please enjoy:in every color imaginable,
Please enjoy:than any eye on earth had ever seen.
Please enjoy:He journeyed through the land of the dead
Please enjoy:until he came to the shore of a sea,
Please enjoy:and across it he could see another bank of land,
Please enjoy:and beyond that the sunset.
Please enjoy:And the sunset said to him
Please enjoy:“What do the living seek among the dead?”
Please enjoy:He answered “I am seeking my life, for it has escaped from me.”
Please enjoy:“That is grievous,”
Please enjoy:said the sunset. “But I can give you little help.
Please enjoy:I am the ending of the day,
Please enjoy:the winding down of things,
Please enjoy:it is under me that souls pass into the west
Please enjoy:and find rest from grieving.
Please enjoy:If you can find the noon,
Please enjoy:or the sunrise, perhaps they may know?”
Please enjoy:“It is too late for me to seek the noon,
Please enjoy:and too late by even more to seek the sunrise.
Please enjoy:The morning and the noon of my days had already passed by the time I noticed my life had escaped.”
Please enjoy:“You are not the first to suffer so,”
Please enjoy:said the sunset, “I have heard this plaint before.
Please enjoy:I hear it from the murmurs of starlings,
Please enjoy:and from the blackbird rookeries,
Please enjoy:and in the whining of dogs. Lives
Please enjoy:are lost, and lives are Lost,
Please enjoy:and the lost find a way to keep living without their lives.
Please enjoy:Have you no flock?
Please enjoy:Have you no pack?
Please enjoy:Can your family not help you?”
Please enjoy:“No,” said the man, “My father and my mother have shut their doors against me.
Please enjoy:My brother speaks of me as one long dead.
Please enjoy:My sisters refuse to hear my name spoken.”
Please enjoy:“Because your life ran away?”
Please enjoy:the sunset said. “Perhaps.
Please enjoy:Or perhaps the other way round.
Please enjoy:I cannot remember so well, anymore.”
Please enjoy:“If your family cannot help you,
Please enjoy:what of your people?
Please enjoy:Your nation?” “I do not know who they are.”
Please enjoy:“Then there is little I can do for you,”
Please enjoy:said the sunset, “Already the sun is nearly gone.
Please enjoy:But while I can, I will give you Rest from Grieving,
Please enjoy:that your journey may be less wearisome.
Please enjoy:For the way before you grows harder the further you go.”
Please enjoy:And the man thanked the sunset,
Please enjoy:and the sun went down,
Please enjoy:and it was night.
Please enjoy:And the man went on.
Please enjoy:Along the shore of the sea,
Please enjoy:he came to a person in a boat,
Please enjoy:and the person was on fire.
Please enjoy:The flames covered them completely,
Please enjoy:and spilled over the sides of the boat,
Please enjoy:and hissed in the water,
Please enjoy:yet they were not consumed.
Please enjoy:Rather their face burned away and revealed another face underneath,
Please enjoy:so they were now
Please enjoy:young, now old, now a woman,
Please enjoy:now a man, now a small child, now a face not even human.
Please enjoy:They seemed to be in no pain.
Please enjoy:They called to the man
Please enjoy:“What is it you seek?”
Please enjoy:“I seek my life, which has escaped from me,
Please enjoy:but I have sought all along this shore, and I cannot find it.”
Please enjoy:“Well, I know not if your life is there,
Please enjoy:but if you would cross to the other shore,
Please enjoy:I will carry you.”
Please enjoy:So the man climbed into the stern of the burning person’s boat,
Please enjoy:and shrunk away from the heat of the flames
Please enjoy:as the burning person rowed across the sound
Please enjoy:to the other side.
Please enjoy:“Who were you, before your life escaped?”
Please enjoy:asked the burning person.
Please enjoy:“I do not remember,”
Please enjoy:the man said. “It may be I never knew at all.”
Please enjoy:“Where were you, when your life escaped?”
Please enjoy:they said, as the flames ran down the oars.
Please enjoy:“I do not know. I do not know when it happened,
Please enjoy:I only know that one day I realized it was gone.
Please enjoy:I could not find it in the lands of the living.
Please enjoy:And I do not know what I will do
Please enjoy:if I cannot find it in the land of the dead either.”
Please enjoy:“You will go on. Many are those who have come to a place where they cannot go on,
Please enjoy:and gone on nonetheless.”
Please enjoy:“How?” asked the man.
Please enjoy:“Please, tell me how to go on when going on is impossible!”
Please enjoy:“How should I know?
Please enjoy:Each time it is done,
Please enjoy:it is utterly different from every other time it has ever been done.
Please enjoy:Nobody has ever done it a second time,
Please enjoy:each time has been the first.
Please enjoy:But here, we have crossed the sound,
Please enjoy:and your journey continues.
Please enjoy:I can give you only this,”
Please enjoy:and the Burning person touched him on the chest,
Please enjoy:for but a moment,
Please enjoy:and by the time the man felt it
Please enjoy:the excruciating pain of it
Please enjoy:was already past.
Please enjoy:“Remember to have
Please enjoy:courage.” And they turned their boat back into the tide,
Please enjoy:and were gone. The man crossed through the forest on the other side.
Please enjoy:The forest was darker here,
Please enjoy:and the path narrower, and he
Please enjoy:feared many times that he had lost the way.
Please enjoy:But at last he came out of the forest,
Please enjoy:and he stood upon white sand in the moonlight,
Please enjoy:and he beheld the ocean.
Please enjoy:And there was no ship,
Please enjoy:and no anchorage,
Please enjoy:and no more land was there
Please enjoy:anywhere in sight.
Please enjoy:There was nothing but the stars above,
Please enjoy:the empty ocean, and the wind that blew over it forever before him.
Please enjoy:And the wind said to him, as he sat on the shore and wept,
Please enjoy:“What troubles you,
Please enjoy:living man? What business have you here,
Please enjoy:at the uttermost end of the world?”
Please enjoy:“My life escaped from me,”
Please enjoy:he answered. “I have sought it in the living world,
Please enjoy:and it was not there.
Please enjoy:I have sought it in the world of the dead,
Please enjoy:and it was not there.
Please enjoy:Where else is there to look?”
Please enjoy:“I travel in an instant to all corners of the world,”
Please enjoy:said the wind, “and I will tell you truly,
Please enjoy:you could seek from now until the end of time,
Please enjoy:and find no more than you have now.
Please enjoy:If your life is gone indeed,
Please enjoy:then there is no finding it again.
Please enjoy:A life does not work that way.”
Please enjoy:“Then how does it work?”
Please enjoy:he asked. The wind gathered itself beside him,
Please enjoy:and said. “A life is
Please enjoy:not a thing you can have,
Please enjoy:or not have. A life is not a promise that is made to you, that you will have such-and-such,
Please enjoy:or be such-and-such.
Please enjoy:A life is a story.
Please enjoy:The world is built of stories,
Please enjoy:from the foundations to the firmament
Please enjoy:it is all stories piled upon eachother,
Please enjoy:and the part of it that you happen to be in,
Please enjoy:that story that is your life.
Please enjoy:You understand?” “I do not.”
Please enjoy:The man said. “I must look for a story,
Please enjoy:and not my life?” “You still have a story,
Please enjoy:do you not?” the wind sighed patiently,
Please enjoy:and the waves settled.
Please enjoy:“Is not ‘the man who sought throughout the land of the dead for his life’
Please enjoy:a story? You must only take your story’s reins.
Please enjoy:Look you. If a storyteller tells you of some fantastic deeds in a far off land,
Please enjoy:and you do not know that it is a story?
Please enjoy:Why then, you will listen to the end, however little you may like it.
Please enjoy:You will have no say in where it goes or what it becomes.
Please enjoy:But if you know that it is but a story he is telling you,
Please enjoy:you can say to him
Please enjoy:‘No, not this one, tell me another instead.’”
Please enjoy:The wind stirred across the sand,
Please enjoy:and the sand blew,
Please enjoy:and the man’s footprints in it were blown away.
Please enjoy:“So if I wish to regain my life-”
Please enjoy:he said. “-Then you must say to yourself,
Please enjoy:tell me another story.
Please enjoy:You must be another story.
Please enjoy:And it is you who must do it,
Please enjoy:there is no seeking for anyone
Please enjoy:or anything else that can do it for you.
Please enjoy:It will be hard, but I saw the gifts that were given to you.
Please enjoy:You have rest from grieving,
Please enjoy:and you have courage.
Please enjoy:And I will give you one
Please enjoy:more. Breathe deeply.”
Please enjoy:He did, and the wind rushed into him,
Please enjoy:and filled his head
Please enjoy:and his heart, and his eyes were opened,
Please enjoy:and he could see and know all that he wanted from his life,
Please enjoy:like a thousand thousand branching paths spread before his feet
Please enjoy:for him to choose one.
Please enjoy:“I have given you inspiration,
Please enjoy:for a moment.” the wind whispered as it faded.
Please enjoy:“Remember it, for it is you who must use it.”
Please enjoy:And the wind was gone.
Please enjoy:The man stood up,
Please enjoy:turned around, and began the journey home.
Please enjoy:Many years later,
Please enjoy:the man saw something standing at his garden gate,
Please enjoy:looking at his home.
Please enjoy:It was a pale, wan thing,
Please enjoy:almost too thin to be seen,
Please enjoy:and it looked very much like him.
Please enjoy:So he came out, and went to the gate,
Please enjoy:and greeted his old life.
Please enjoy:“I ran away,” it told him,
Please enjoy:“because it seemed that being with you
Please enjoy:would make me a nothing of a life.
Please enjoy:I would never achieve anything.
Please enjoy:I would never win anything.
Please enjoy:So I went away on my own,
Please enjoy:but now I am back,
Please enjoy:and I can see how wrong I was!
Please enjoy:You have done so much better, since last I saw you,
Please enjoy:I am certain we can live happily together!”
Please enjoy:His old life held out its hand,
Please enjoy:but the man did not take it.
Please enjoy:“But I have a life,”
Please enjoy:he said. “I have a husband,
Please enjoy:whom I love. I have a home, that I care for.
Please enjoy:I drink with orcs,
Please enjoy:I wander with wolves,
Please enjoy:I know the songs of the loons, and they are my friends,
Please enjoy:who when I am gone back to the land of the dead to stay,
Please enjoy:will mourn me. And I care not at all if anyone says that any of it is a sin,
Please enjoy:or a pagan thing.
Please enjoy:My life left me, so I built a new one,
Please enjoy:and I built it to my own tastes
Please enjoy:and my own needs,
Please enjoy:and I live it for me,
Please enjoy:not for itself. I do not need you back.
Please enjoy:I am sorry, but I do not think I want you back.”
Please enjoy:The old life frowned.
Please enjoy:Its cheeks were sunken,
Please enjoy:and its eyes were dim,
Please enjoy:and it looked at him through suspicious brows.
Please enjoy:“Well, what am I to do, then?
Please enjoy:You must take me back!
Please enjoy:This is not fair!”
Please enjoy:“It was not fair when you left me, either.
Please enjoy:Perhaps, if you are brave,
Please enjoy:you can do as I did,
Please enjoy:and if you make a life of your own,
Please enjoy:you can find a way to live for yourself.
Please enjoy:If you cannot, if you do not,
Please enjoy:that is none of my affair.
Please enjoy:I wish you all the luck you need,
Please enjoy:now goodbye.” He turned and went back into his home.
Please enjoy:And he lived happily after,
Please enjoy:to the end of his days.
Please enjoy:This was “The Man Whose Life Ran Away”
Please enjoy:by Rob MacWolf, read for you by William Dingo,
Please enjoy:the sunrise spectator.
Please enjoy:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
Please enjoy:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Please enjoy:Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog.