This episode answers some questions regarding the afterlife and the experiences of souls both before and after their earthly existence. Allison answers a caller seeking understanding about the soul of her unborn child and the nature of her guilt. Moreover, we contemplate the circumstances surrounding traumatic experiences, as well as the pervasive impact of people who take their own life on both the departed and their loved ones left behind. Our discussion aims to provide solace and clarity to those grappling with the weight of such profound questions, underscoring the idea that healing and understanding are integral to the human experience.

Welcome to the Dead Life.

Here's world renowned medium Alison Dubois.

Today on the Dead Life, I have none other than my fantastic husband Joe in studio to help me answer your calling questions.

Email us at bookinglisondubois.com if you want to watch past and present episodes of the Dead Life, follow me on YouTube, please like and subscribe, check me out on Instagram at medium alison.

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Well, Joe, I know you've been busy at work, so thank you for being here.

You're welcome.

Yeah.

You have been a busy, busy boy.

Busy boy.

Straight from presentation there to presentation here.

I know I shouldn't ask so much.

Oh, I love spending time with you.

And I got my baguette pen from Paris, which is my favorite pen.

Is that not the most amazing pen?

It's the most.

I love it.

So we have so many calling questions that we're doing a two part episode because I had to get through some of them.

This that we're backing up.

So we're going to go ahead and start with four this week and four next week.

So do you want to start with the first call in?

Yeah, I got the list right here.

Great.

Hi, Allison, this is Jennifer from Morristown, New Jersey.

I called in a few weeks ago, but I'm calling in again because I have another question or a few questions.

I was wondering, you know, I'm almost 50 years old and I've had a lot of trauma in my life.

I was verbally and physically abused as a child.

I was bullied in high school, raped at 18.

Then I was now married almost 20 years.

But it's been up and down.

In the beginning of our relationship, we were separated and my family wasn't too crazy about it about him.

And we had a three year old and a one year old and we were separated and I was living with my parents, he was living with his mom and we were reconciling and I got pregnant and I ended up having an abortion after much deliberation with my husband.

So my first question is, does that baby, did that baby have a soul yet?

And if so, does it hate me?

I know I'm a religious person and I've repented for many years.

So I have come to terms that God has forgiven me.

But I still think about that baby every Single day.

And I can't help but feel guilty still.

So that's one question.

And my other question is that can a person be attracted to trauma?

You know, about eight years ago, our house burned down and we barely made it out alive.

And then a year ago I almost died because I found out.

I went into cardiac arrest and found out that I.

My heart was built the wrong way from when I was born and I needed open heart surgery.

You know, a lot of, I've had a lot of almost death, let's put it that way.

I don't want to say near death experiences because nobody came to me and I didn't see a light.

So.

But I was unconscious, so I don't know what was happening to my soul at that point.

Was it just asleep?

Am I dead inside?

So I included Jennifer's because she did seem to be in quite a bit of distress over her life.

I'm going to start with the second question first.

Can people be attracted to trauma?

And I guess perspective is important in how you look at your life and what unfolded.

So I believe she said she was in a fire.

So she survived it.

Yeah.

Right.

So I would feel pretty blessed, protected.

I survived it.

Cardiac arrest after that.

Survived it.

Right.

So, Jennifer, I think if anything, your time here wasn't done.

And you're still here to do whatever it is that you're here to do, whatever you're calling your purpose, your journey, your karma that you're working through, all of that is still a work in progress.

So I did want to say, though, the perspective of if I survive those two things, I would definitely feel watched over and loved by the other side.

Maybe there's no memory of almost dying because the near death experience of communicating with the people on the other side, maybe she didn't get close enough to having that experience, thankfully.

Yeah.

So I know that she's had a lot of ups and downs in her life, but as far as attracted to trauma, I think she's been put through some trials and challenges in her life that she came out of so blessed.

The first question about the abortion, and I included this because a lot of women struggle with this and everybody talks about it as though it's nothing or it's something that is easily gotten over, which isn't the case.

I mean, I've been on this planet a long time.

I've seen a lot of things.

I know a lot of people.

And that is something that will continue to weigh on women that make that difficult decision.

Does her baby hate her?

No, absolutely not.

The soul of the children, their understanding of what you're going through and the decisions that you make.

Now if the baby had been born, it may have taken her down a different path where maybe something would have been resolved or understood better.

But if Jennifer wasn't ready to have that baby and her husband wasn't ready to have that baby and they made that decision together, then that's something you just have to sort of sit with and take responsibility for.

We won't know what that other path would have looked like.

I understand why she carries the guilt.

That baby would find a way into the family.

In my experience, they're either born in a future child.

When the person's ready to have children, they come through in that way.

Or it could be a niece or a nephew that is born to Jennifer.

It could end up being a grandchild down the road.

So one way or another, those energies, those babies souls don't sit on the other side indefinitely.

They get to live out a life here in the physical world.

So I don't want her to think that she stopped something that'll never have the opportunity to see the beauty of the physical world and the beauty of life.

It will, one way or another.

So she was a vessel in at that point and she took a turn and chose not to.

And you know what, Jennifer?

That's okay.

So stop beating yourself up over that and recognize how blessed you are and your worth as well.

I hope that in the future you were or are able to find a partner who makes you feel valued as well as enjoying your other children.

I mean, if we truly feel sorry for having to make that difficult decision, the least we can do is put all that energy that we would have put in that child into our other kids and be extra exceptional parents, extra amazing.

And I hope that Jennifer is able to do that and enjoy her life.

Don't focus on the past so much.

Don't obsess over the things that went wrong in life.

Learn from them and move forward in your journey.

Because otherwise you're going to get stuck in the past and stuck in a rut with all of the negatives in your life that may have happened for a reason.

And I think with the fire and the cardiac arrest instances like that happening in our life are often so that we start to appreciate what we have, our time, our life, our presence here in the physical world.

And we don't take it for granted or squander it.

So I hope that she's able to do that and to consider that.

Yeah, well said.

I was really surprised.

That's two very heavy topics right off the bat.

And I really like the message that you're giving her that with a little shift in perspective you say, yes, there's some really difficult things that have happened in her life.

But you know what?

For whatever, for a good reason, she didn't die in the fire.

She didn't die from cardiac arrest.

So somebody out there is keeping an eye on her, protecting her, protecting her.

And there's a reason that she's still here.

And she can go forward and heal from all those things and learn something, I suppose, but definitely teaching all of us something.

So I guess.

Thank you for calling in, Jennifer.

Thank you.

All right, Are you ready?

Born ready.

Hi, Allison, My name is Sherry.

I listen to your podcast.

Just recently, last week, as a matter of fact, we had a family member close to the family member that committed suicide.

She was.

Had depression and dealing with it, but she had shot herself.

And she was married to a very close relative of my husband.

Actually they call themselves brothers.

My question for you basically is when someone does commit suicide, is their spirit in kind of a holding because that really wasn't their natural time, or do they cross over?

So that is my question.

Thank you so much and thank you for your shows.

Take care.

Bye.

This is a topic that I've written about in my books because it's so widely asked.

And I am happy to answer this again because some people are being affected by suicide now that didn't know they would 10 years ago and there will be somebody tomorrow, unfortunately, that will deal with it, that never anticipated dealing with this topic as well.

And I had a father that was in one of my books put it the best.

He said, it's very hard to understand why your child would murder themselves.

You know, you worry about other people hurting them and then it's done at their own hands.

And we struggle to understand that with this suicide.

She asks, are they in a holding pattern?

No, they do cross and they go where everyone else is.

They aren't in purgatory or hell.

They go to be with their relatives and the other people on the other side.

Usually there's either a natural chemical imbalance that exists in their system that they struggle with sometimes, then try to self medicate and it goes too far and then they don't.

They're really not thinking rationally and it can lead to them doing something they wouldn't normally have done or that would be out of character.

So I see suicides in two different ways, but both involve not being able to think clearly, sometimes it's neurological or chemical and biological.

Other times it's from drugs or drinking and not being in a good state of mind.

And worst case scenario, it's both.

So the sherry's relative that passed would be crossed and the chemical imbalance or the addiction falls away.

And so that person would be very clear and focused and aware of the aftermath of their passing.

So sometimes suicides, people who die of suicides, and I almost feel like I need to speak for the dead so that people can understand this.

You are a speaker for this?

I am a bit of an interpreter.

So they feel shame when they cross and they see the destruction and pain that they're passing caused.

They also see the people who are alive that blame themselves for not taking their phone call.

Or I, I should have known.

I should have sensed it.

These guilt games that the living play and they feel responsible for that.

So a lot of times suicides will feel such shame, you won't feel them around.

And it's not that they're not around, it's that they hang in the background to see how you're doing because they're afraid of interrupting your life with their presence.

I find it very helpful if you've lost somebody to suicide, if you say to them, I want you to be part of my life.

You don't need to feel shame around this.

There's no blame.

I know you weren't in a good place.

You weren't thinking clearly.

I accept that you love me.

I love you.

I do need you.

So please be there for me.

And once you do that, it removes that energy for them of the shame and their own guilt so that they can be more present for you.

Does that make sense?

No.

It does.

Another deep topic.

It took a long time from hearing all the readings that you do to understand what it's like when people cross over, that they are sort of the best version of themselves.

And so they're still them, very much them.

And you do need to talk to them like you would talk to them.

At the same time, chemical imbalances are gone, so maybe they're not exactly the same because they don't have that heavy weight.

It takes a long time.

I mean, it took me a long.

Maybe it didn't take you quite so long because you're pretty amazing, but it took me a long time to really kind of intuitively understand that.

And so, yeah, I think I'm glad you took this question and I love the answer.

And I think that we'll have this question again next year.

Right.

And the year after, unfortunately.

So they are themselves in those moments that are peaceful, the way you remember them, the laughing with them, the good times moving, minus the erratic behavior and depression.

That's gone.

So if people can imagine those parts of them, that's what you speak of when you say the best parts of them.

That's great.

So I hope that helps.

Sheri.

All right, so now we.

Hi, Allison.

Thank you for taking my question.

I lost my daughter.

She was 20 weeks gestation.

I have two other kiddos before her, and I didn't have any pregnancy complications.

They were both delivered on time and healthy.

But unfortunately, with her, my water unexpectedly broke with very little signs or symptoms.

And the doctors did all the tests on me and her, and they could not find a rational reason why this would have happened.

So to provide some sort of closure or healing, I did seek out a reading from a medium.

And I just.

I'm just a little unsure about it.

So what the medium told me was that her name was Greta, that Greta was the soul of the baby that I lost, and that she changed her mind.

She said that Greta changed her mind, that her brain was sick, and she didn't want to do that to me.

She didn't want to put me and my family through losing, or rather, sorry.

She didn't want to put me and my family through the hardship that we would have had raising her.

And if she did come into the world, that she would have came for all the wrong reasons.

So I guess a couple of questions I have is, one, at 20 weeks gestation, do our souls enter our bodies in utero?

And two, if she.

This is true, and she did decide to leave, is there a way I could have prevented her from making that decision?

And three, I do believe she's with me, and she does give me some sign.

But then there's a little part of me maybe thinking I just want her to feel alive with me.

And I guess I don't know what I meant by that last statement.

I'm still heartbroken.

This happened a year and a half ago.

So any input you would have, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks much.

So this is an unusual question, so I wanted to.

Oh, yeah, you always deal with when people die.

But now here, we're dealing with people before they're born, right?

Yes.

I like it.

Everything under the sun.

I'm so sorry that you lost a child at 20 weeks.

Having been pregnant myself, I understand how attached you already are at that point.

There's a couple of different points I don't like to disagree with other mediums, I can only give you my own sense and my own experience.

I've never experienced a child that was in utero deciding to not come into the world to put you through that.

Because if the child, say, let's just for argument, say, had brain cancer, that was going to go through a painful life here, that perhaps their soul was being sent here for that reason, to either learn or teach something from it.

I've never seen a soul then pull back and go, nah, I don't want to put you through that.

So to me, that didn't ring true.

True.

The fact that she named her.

I think sometimes it's better to let the parents assign a name to have that emotional connection to the pregnancy rather than the medium.

Maybe she thought she heard that.

I don't know the person that you speak of, you're going to grieve, obviously, this.

This loss for a long time.

It's been a year and a half, and it could have been something as biological or simple as the membrane around the child not being strong enough so the water broke.

So the fact that they couldn't tell that via either autopsy or just their own experience, to me, just says that they probably didn't look that hard, you know, to just see if there was a tear or something that happened in it, or maybe you wouldn't even be able to determine that.

I don't know.

I'm not a doctor and I.

I don't claim to be, but I will say there's a million reasons why it could have happened that wouldn't need an explanation other than biologically, there was a weakness somewhere in that pregnancy.

I don't see it as being a decision the soul made to not come into this lifetime, to not put her through something with her family.

So that just really wasn't feeling that at all.

She asked about at 20 weeks gestation, does a baby have a soul yet?

In my experience, and I'd have to say this is even with my own pregnancies that I had around that time, I didn't feel that kind of force within me.

You know, it was something that came down the road when, you know, when they're born and they start growing their personality and laughing and reaching for you and having likes and dislikes, all of those things seem to bulk up.

The soul, they let it flow.

That's what I was thinking.

Sometimes you've brought through children and you even have a role with your personal readings that you do every week, that if they're babies, it can't be the.

It's limited information, very limited.

And it really seems like their soul kind of develops in a way, like you said, bulk up and it's like, yeah, they're there, but it's not one moment that all of a sudden they're not there and then they're there.

Exactly.

It's more like a slow process.

An evolution.

An evolution, sure.

So another thing is we're so fortunate in the modern world and in our country that pregnancies are pretty, I don't know, successful.

It's not that long ago, I think that many women died and the babies died.

It was tragic.

It was a very dangerous thing.

The early 20th century, I think it was a 40% mortality rate.

Right.

And so this is a good thing.

It's very tragic and it's very human and it's something we can learn from, but it's not, I don't know, she felt maybe guilty that there was something she could have done differently and every mother would.

Well, I think every.

Everyone likes to feel that their child is somehow predestined for them, you know?

Sure.

I mean, it's based on emotion.

It's just.

It is what it is, the evolution and it's why with readings I say, I just need your first name and the relationship to the person I'm bringing through.

So when it is a child, I always say I just want to make sure they're older than two.

Because for me, even though, and I've had two year olds, there's some personality to that.

That's when they get the terrible.

Sure.

And you get a lot of personality.

Right.

And you can see the force of them growing.

You can see them starting to have their real likes and dislikes and.

And you start getting a real sense for their soul and who they are.

And not that babies in utero, they have a bit of a personality, like they're different.

Sure.

But it just hasn't grown.

Right.

So, you know, as far as that soul, if it wasn't intended to come in in this lifetime to her, to be her child, then that's okay.

It will still find a way in which we just talked about with Jennifer.

Right.

So the child's soul will find a way into the family one way or another.

So you may not feel her forever out there.

So if that energy goes away, it can be because it was born into the family and it's no longer on the other side waiting sort of for that body to come in to your life.

I'll wait for an update.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe she's going to have Another child.

You know, maybe she ends up having another child.

Maybe.

Maybe a niece or nephew.

But either way, the child's soul will find its way in.

It just felt as though the soul early on in pregnancy is unevolved.

That's all.

Gotcha.

Okay.

There we go.

Okay.

Hi, Allison, this is Susan from Michigan.

I just want to say I love your podcast with your family.

When you have your family on, when you have Tom McMullen on and Granny Magic, it's just enjoyable and insightful.

And I just want to say I appreciate you.

My question is, my mother died.

Well, my mother died in 20, and she died with complications due to dementia.

And she had a difficult, hard life her whole life and then died from dementia.

To me, that was God's way of helping her forget her difficult life, but not her children, still.

Although she did.

And what I want to know is, after we die in the afterlife, will she be free of that chain that bound her during her life?

Will she be free to live in the afterlife and be happy and enjoy people and things?

So that's really all I wanted to know.

Thank you, Allison.

Goodbye.

I thought Susan's question is also a good one, especially with this being a nine year.

For those of you just joining the show, if you add 20, 25, you add the numbers up, it breaks down to a nine.

So that's how we determine a nine year.

It's a year of endings.

A lot of people will be passing and letting go this year.

So as far as the conversation on her mom dying of dementia, I thought maybe there's somebody out there that this will end up helping as well.

Yes.

People who have dementia, and I find them so interesting because they're in between this world and the other world, the afterlife.

So often you'll hear them talk about people that died 50 years ago as though they're here.

And they often don't let go for a really long time.

And people will say, oh, my God, you know, they're gonna outlive me.

And that's because why would they want to let go when they have everyone they love right there, living or dead, all the time?

Even if they don't recognize you, their soul senses you and knows somehow you belong around them.

Sure.

And we're built to live.

We fight to live.

Like.

Well, it's what you do from your first breath.

Sure.

So she is free to be happy.

On the other side, she'll revert to the age that she was the happiest, whether that's falling in love or having kids, whatever that was.

To her.

So just rest assured that your mom is where she wants to be, looking the way she wants to, focused and feeling content.

All of that pain that she experienced in the physical world falls away when we pass, unless there's some, you have to make some sort of reconciliation or amends with someone on the other side and then some of that will remain, but not in a way that's going to hurt you, in a way where it's explained to you why we had to go through certain trials and tribulations that we resented having to go through and how that changed us and why that was necessary.

So, Susan, your mom is looking in on you, wanting, you know, definitely wanting the young pictures of her put up and for you to remember, don't we all, how much, how much happiness you brought her, your versions of her heaven.

You gave her those moments from the time you put your little arms around her neck when you were small and gave her a kiss when she was sad, when you know all of those little moments are versions of their heaven.

And she would be so grateful to you for everything you did did for her.

So, Susan, thank you for calling in.

Yeah, I'm glad you took all these questions that have to do with what it's like on the other side.

It's comforting.

And we'll do it again.

Yes.

Because we got another batch of four that we're going to go through for next week.

So thank you for being here and for adding your, your spin on everything from a pragmatic point of view, a male point perspective, and just as my husband, thank you so much.

And, and thank you to my listeners.

Tune in next week for part two of this week's Call in episode.

I'm Allison Dubois.

This is the Dead Life and all of my believers out there don't stop believing.

Join us next week on the deadlight.

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