Welcome to Day 9 of the 10-Day Wellbeing Habit Quest, where we’re building one tiny wellbeing habit that actually sticks.
Today’s episode is for the imperfect days. Because one of the biggest reasons people quit isn’t lack of information—it’s what happens after they miss a day: guilt, shame, and the feeling of “I’ve failed.” Klaudia shares a science-backed alternative: self-compassion—the skill that helps you reset and return, instead of giving up.
Press play to learn how to respond when you miss your habit.
Get involved:
⬇️ Download:26 Science‑Backed Micro‑Habits You Can Try Next (Sleep, Movement, Mindfulness, Connection, Purpose — all under 60 seconds) https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/store
📘 Get the E‑book on habit formation:Build One Life‑Changing Habit in 10 Days (10 minutes/day + printable tools + reflection prompts) https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/store
Hello happiness seekers. Welcome to day nine of the 10 day well being habit quest where we are building one tiny well being habit that actually sticks.
Now, in previous episodes I have mentioned that I'm doing this campaign due to two reasons. 1, 40% of our happiness is determined by activities we repeat daily. So if you want to be happier, you need to have the right habits in life.
Secondly, research suggests that up to 92% of us will give up on habit tracking or behavior change efforts within a very short period of time. And I'm hoping that the presented strategies will help you to avoid or minimize that situation.
Now, to keep track of all of the tools that I'm sharing and if you want to learn more, you can download a science backed PDF workbook from my website thehappinesschallenge.co.uk and in that PDF I'm listing the key key barriers that we often experience in continuing with habits. So when researchers actually looked why is it that we are giving up on those habit tracking?
It's clear that one of the reasons is because when we miss habit or when we stop for some time, for whatever reasons, we are not very nice about it to ourselves. We feel guilty, we feel ashamed, we feel we are not good enough.
So today's episode is about what happens in those situations because frankly by now it's very likely that you had an imperfect day.
Maybe you completely skipped your habit, maybe you have stopped altogether and you're thinking, well I'm just listening to this but I'm not continuing anymore. You know, that's it. I tried, didn't work out.
And in those moments, as already mentioned, we may be feeling not great about ourselves and self compassion.
Research shows that being kind to ourselves when we struggle is especially important because that makes us more resilient and makes us more likely to try again.
I think this is very simple and we kind of know it, but intuitively we think that if we feel guilty, if we feel ashamed, maybe we'll pick up things again. But that doesn't work.
What works is absolutely understanding that yes, this has happened, this is a human thing and I'm going to be kind to myself about this. So I will more likely to continue.
So Kristin Neff is incredible researcher on self compassion and she says that what matters is returning, not perfection. So you know, if you missed a day, do the one minute version today and use this simple script to stop your negative thoughts and negative self talk.
Say, well it's human to miss a day. It's a human to mess up. It's human not to continue with something for some time. I'm learning what is one kind step that I can take now.
And if you haven't missed it yet and you've been absolutely smashing it, and you are on day nine and I'm like, yes, I'm doing it.
Decide how you're going to talk to yourself when you do messed up and you do miss it and you don't continue with it for some time because it may happen.
And also if you're developing a new habit and you seeing that you have those moments when you just not feeling it actually do think and be honest with yourself. Is this habit actually not working for you? Because maybe it's not. Maybe that's not your habit to develop. Can you tweak it? Can you simplify it?
Can you change it? As I was discussing with my guest who opened up this quest, neuroscientist Ann Laur Lakanth, if an experiment doesn't work, it's not a failure.
It is an opportunity to learn and adjust. So really pause and reflect and think to yourself, okay, how do I usually talk to myself when I fail?
What would a kinder, more supportive version sound like? What can I adjust in my tiny habit that would support my progress? Again, I just want to stress that imperfect days are part of a real habit journey.
And expecting otherwise is very much naive. And we don't need to feel guilty about those moments, only curious. And we don't have to quit. We can just pivot and change things.
But we won't do that if we are unkind to ourselves. Show yourself some self compassion. Tomorrow is day 10, people. Amazing. The last day.
So lock in what we've built so far and plan how can you carry it forward? I hope to see you there. Thank you. Bye.
