Can we help others achieve what we don’t believe is possible for ourselves?

It’s been said that people will treat you the exact way you treat yourself, and that others confirm our beliefs about ourself; which implies other will sink to our level of self-worth in the way they treat us

But can the reverse be true? If I don’t believe I’m worthy of having a happy life, a better life, a successful life – can I believe it’s possible for you?

I explore this idea in the hopes of understanding family dynamics and humanity at large.

In this episode:

• Can we aspire to help others to a higher life-satisfaction level than we have for ourselves?
• We all have an obligation to help humanity by doing our work so we are then able to help others be right with themselves
• A personal challenge for healing the world

. Rev Karen: Welcome to the

Just as you might have guessed, I talk about connection in this

podcast, our connection with everything in the world around us.

We're connected, whether we see it or not.

Whether it's your connection with your dog and your.

Or your connection with your God.

Also, I talk about things that are more abstract, like your connections with your

career or your land, your community, your family, your emotions, your body Life

is truly all about connections, and the sooner we recognize this, the sooner we

get to have an easier, more enjoyable.

I am gonna talk about these connections through different lenses, but things

like synchronicities and coincidences, or everyday little bits of magic or

miracles that we tend to dismiss, it's important we pay attention to

all of this to help us, like I said, live an easier, more satisfying life.

So welcome to the show.

I'm your host, Reverend Karen in Cleveland.

Hello.

Welcome back today.

I'm wanting to talk about living in hell.

And I don't mean the hill that we go to after we die.

But the hell that we put ourselves in right now while we're still alive.

Living on this earth.

When there is something we could do about it.

It, when there's something we could actually change.

And I get that.

A lot of people don't know there is something that can be changed.

So that's why it's up to us that do know.

That others don't have to live in hell.

To do something about it.

This whole topic came about for me, because there's someone I know.

That looking at all outside appearances.

She appears to be.

Living in a tormented state right now.

Truly hell on earth, in her mind.

And what I.

Believe I know about dementia is that it's not her fault.

She had nothing to do with it.

Maybe there were some factors in her lifetime, but nothing

we ever knew about back then,

So it's not her fault that she's going through this.

Disease process in her brain.

She's not being a victim.

It's just really hard to watch as this disease progresses.

And the thing that I don't understand is.

When someone is trying to help her.

And is looking for resources to help her and looking for ways.

That she can.

Remain sovereign or delay the disease or.

Just help make life better until it's so far gone, that it can't be better.

I don't understand why there is so much resistance from the family members.

It's frustrating to look back on because several years ago there were attempts to.

Increase the quality of this person's life, but the resistance.

In the rest of the family was.

Puzzling.

So I've was thinking about this.

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately, actually.

Why are they resisting that?

Keeping her from that.

And in a particularly spiteful moment, I thought to myself, well,

I hope they find themselves in their own personal hell one day.

As soon as I thought that.

A light went off in my head.

And I realized.

That these people can't see a better way for her.

They can't see.

That there's a way to not be in hell because perhaps they are also living

in their own little states of hell.

Now, it's not me to judge who is living in their own little states of hell are not.

But what I do know is that.

We can't always see above the state.

We are.

And we can't always want something better for someone else.

If we're.

At a state of disappointment or frustration or overwhelm

or confusion, any of that?

Again, I'm not saying for sure, that is where these other people are.

These family members.

But maybe.

Kind of along the same thing as knowing that hurt people, hurt people.

It takes action.

It takes healing.

To stop the cycle.

And again, I don't know the exact situation for all these people.

But if they don't have their own baseline at some kind of contentment

or happiness or satisfaction, They're not going to see that.

For the other family member.

And that's why we, you and me.

Need to do our work.

So we can show other people.

It is possible to rise up.

It is possible to live a different way.

It's possible.

To have compassion and kindness for people to help them.

For the love of humanity, it's time for us to do our thing.

So that once we are healed and have our own.

Satisfactory happy content baseline.

We can then help.

The others see that there is a way.

Because there are true victims out there that need our help.

There are truly people that are in situations that don't have choices.

And we need to help make something better for them.

I believe it's our obligation to do so.

I don't think that our journey here on earth is supposed to be

a hundred percent self centered.

I think we need to get ourselves right.

And then once we get ourselves, right, we go out and we help others get themselves.

Right.

If you're listening to me, I think you're probably one of those who.

At least knows enough.

That it's time to get right with ourself.

It's time to find some kind of contentment or happiness level.

So that you can then go on and work with others.

I've never done any armchair research on this, but I wonder.

How much compassion can a person have for another.

When you're living in your own state of hell.

And you can have compassion for others.

But can you expect to rise them up above your own level?

Of happiness or unhappiness.

I don't know.

It's a question.

I don't know if you can or not.

But I do think if you have the self-love.

The self.

Happiness, this self contentment.

Then I do believe you have a better chance at helping others achieve that as well.

. It reminds me a little bit of the saying or of the idea that

we allow others to treat us.

As badly as we treat ourselves.

So we have a certain level of self-talk of self behavior.

That goes to, you know, Uh, certain.

Degree of badness, I guess I'm going to say.

And.

At that point, if someone else tries to treat us.

Below that point.

We don't accept it.

So we don't allow others to treat us any worse than we treat ourselves.

And I think the same.

The kind of reverse might be true as well.

We can't treat others better than we believe we should be treated.

Maybe it's a question.

It is a question.

Especially if that person has played a very important role in their upbringing.

In their childhood.

in everything about them.

And so there's.

The dynamics of the relationship as well.

And maybe if they felt.

Offended or slided by this person or unappreciated by this person.

Then.

Maybe that's part of it.

Maybe that's part of not wanting happiness on the other person or not wanting

to feel better for the other person.

And it's amazing to me that we can still believe after 50, 60, 70 years.

We're still holding on to an action.

From that long ago.

And it's still affecting our lives today.

All right.

I have a challenge for you.

I don't usually offer challenges,

it's time.

We start healing this world for the sake of humanity for crying out loud.

We have to heal this world.

We have to understand that , our limitations.

Don't mean everyone else needs to live by our limitations.

. So here's my challenge.

Who are the people that you treat less compassionately because

they've wronged you or because they've offended you or somehow.

You feel less in their presence?

Who are those people?

And all I'm going to ask you to do is wish them love.

Just offer love.

You don't have to tell them in person, you don't have to write them a letter.

You just have to genuinely in your head.

Wish them love.

Because in the end, isn't that all we ever want is to be loved.

I think so.

And your love for someone else.

Perpetuates love for yourself.

And then for someone else, for yourself, for someone else.

Love compounds.

You animals, people.

The earth.

So just bring to mind those people

that you feel have slided you somehow and wish them love.

And let's start the cycle.

Of getting out of our personal hell.

And into love.

Take care everyone.

Bye bye.

If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to head

over to rev karen podcast.com.

That's R E V K A R E N podcast.com.

There you're gonna find the tools for finding more meaning

and happiness in your own life.

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