I'm doing a Morning 6-Pack of the top six new TV shows I think most likely won't make it this fall. Fall TV's a dumpster fire now — 900 shows, 14 apps, three spinoffs, four reboots — so I roast the nonsense before your streaming bill does. We rip through stuff like Pawn Stars: Facebook Marketplace (yes, really), The Voice 2AM karaoke for folks who had one too many gin & tonics, Shark Tank turned lemonade-stand interrogation, 90 Day Fiancé prison pen pals, and a Great British Baking Show... but powered by an Easy-Bake Oven. It's fast, sarcastic, and dumb in the best way, and I save the number-one burn for the end — not telling you that one here. Tune in for quick jokes, silly takes, and me saving you time by telling you which new shows you can skip.
Takeaways:
I joked fall TV is drowning in reboots and spinoffs, like every idea cloned itself, lol.
We ran a goofy morning six pack countdown mocking reality-show trends and how saturated streaming is.
I named silly fake shows like Pawn Stars Facebook Marketplace and Top Chef Air Fryer to roast TV burnout.
We mocked specific upcoming shows—Team Moms Baseball and Traitors New Blood—as likely short-lived and kinda ridiculous.
I said fall premieres used to feel like a national holiday, now it's 900 shows across too many apps, yikes.
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker A:
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:
I'm going to do something I don't do very often.
Speaker A:
I'm going to do an early morning morning six pack.
Speaker A:
I do these morning six packs all the time, but usually seven, eight o', clock, something like that.
Speaker A:
We're going to do two six packs this morning and it kind of pays tribute to the classic David Letterman top 10 list.
Speaker A:
It's, it's just a silly countdown of stupid, terrible jokes.
Speaker A:
But this morning six pack, it's going to be all about TV shows because we're almost a fall TV season and you know, fall TV season used to be like this huge national event.
Speaker A:
I mean you, you get the big network premiere week, there'd be a TV Guide dedicated to it.
Speaker A:
Maybe your couch would have actual family members on it.
Speaker A:
And now TV fall season is here's 900 shows across 14 apps and three of the shows are spinoffs and four reboots.
Speaker A:
One's based on a podcast and who knows what Paramount plus is charging this month.
Speaker A:
There are a few new shows to note.
Speaker A:
NBC has a new drama called Line of Fire, also a comedy called Newlyweds.
Speaker A:
And what's being billed is a civilian version of the Traitors called the Traitors New Blood.
Speaker A:
Then on Prime Video, there's Neagly, a spin off of Reacher because every successful show now has to reproduce like rabbits.
Speaker A:
Although to be fair, I'm excited for this one because I do love the Niegly character.
Speaker A:
Maybe a little too much over on Paramount.
Speaker A:
Plus there's Team Moms Baseball, produced by Kim Kardashian about intense parents at an elite youth baseball academy.
Speaker A:
This is going to be the most American TV show ever made.
Speaker A:
Kids chasing scholarships, parents losing their minds, cameras rolling somewhere, a dad saying, oh, we're just here to have fun while holding a laminated batting chart criticizing everything that the manager does.
Speaker A:
Either way, there's some new TV shows out and I've, I've got a few of these new TV shows that I think there's a pretty good chance they're not gonna make it.
Speaker B:
Well, gather round folks.
Speaker B:
It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:
Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:
Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:
It's the morning six pack.
Speaker A:
These are the top six new TV shows that I think most likely probably won't make it.
Speaker A:
Number six, Pawn Stars, Facebook Marketplace.
Speaker A:
Rick tries to negotiate a:
Speaker A:
That would be a fun show already caught on.
Speaker A:
These are all fake.
Speaker A:
Number number five, the Voice 2am Karaoke blind auditions featuring people who had way too many gin and tonics.
Speaker A:
Number four, Shark Tank lemonade stand billionaires ruthlessly grilling a nine year old on her supply chain.
Speaker A:
Logistics.
Speaker A:
I could see that happening somewhere around here.
Speaker A:
I really could.
Speaker A:
Number three, 90 Day Fiance Prison pen pal.
Speaker A:
Will they make it down the aisle before parole is denied?
Speaker A:
Number two, the great British baking show.
Speaker A:
Easy Bake Oven.
Speaker A:
Culinary masterpieces all baked entirely with a 100 watt incandescent light bulb.
Speaker A:
That would be fun.
Speaker A:
Why not?
Speaker A:
And the number one new TV show that most likely won't make it.
Speaker A:
Top Chef Air Fryer.
Speaker A:
Every single dish overcooked on the outside and frozen in the middle.
