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The Breakthrough Experience

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You find that if life was this way, I'd be happy. And people are addicted,

if I had this, my parents did this, I'd be happy.

Or if my wife wouldn't do this, I'd be happy.

And then they don't realize that they're putting themselves in one of those 15

delusions most commonly,

In all probability in your life,

you've probably had a moment where you felt depressed or down or maybe

not on top of the world. Or maybe you know,

somebody around you that's in a real low period, maybe a depression,

or maybe even diagnosed clinically depressed.

I've certainly run into thousands of those in my work as I've traveled and

spoken. I'd

like to talk about taking command of your depression today.

So if you have something to write with and write on,

and I have a feeling you'll get a few notes, it's worth taking care of here.

I'd like you to first imagine a magnet.

We have a positive and negative pole of a magnet.

And I want you to imagine that the positive pole of the magnet

is something you seek.

And the negative pole of the magnet is something you're trying to avoid.

You're trying to get a positive without a negative.

And you try to cut the magnet in half and just get the positive pole of the

magnet. When you cut the magnet in half,

you find out that you got a positive and negative and a positive and negative to

get two little magnets.

So you didn't accomplish the game of getting a one-sided magnet.

And the same thing,

if you cut that in half and did that again and again and again and kept cutting

it in half, you'd still, as long as there's molecules or atoms there,

you would have positive and negative.

And so you are going to get a balance of those two.

If you meet somebody,

you may have an assumption that you're going to get a positive without a

negative , nice without mean, kind without cruel,

generous without stingy, supportive without challenging,

But in all probability,

you're mature enough to know that when you get with somebody,

there's always a new set of challenges and pains that come with it.

The negative side. You have positives and negatives.

So in the relationships you have and in the events and goals that you have,

anytime you're pursuing something that's one-sided, you'll get broadsided by

the other side of the magnet.

Life itself are events that have two sides.

You can always see one way or the other.

You can subjectively bias your interpretation,

see only one side and ignore the other one with a false positive on the

positives and a false negative on the negatives,

where you're seeing something that's not there or you're not seeing something

that is there. And you can give yourself the impression, at least initially,

that there's a positive without a negative or a negative without a positive.

But in actuality, over time, you eventually discover that there's both.

You've all had goals and you've set out for and,

and you thought this is going to give you more advantage than disadvantage and

then you found out there was a whole bunch of challenges that came with it,

you didn't expect and broadsided. The same thing in relationship.

You get in there and you get a fatal attraction and you find out, oops,

it's Glenn Close, you are Michael Douglas in Fatal

attraction.

So anytime you pursue a one-sided

event, a one-sided relationship, a one-sided anything goal,

you're setting yourself up for being blind, you know,

blindsided by the side that you're ignoring.

When somebody sets a true objective, they embrace both sides.

And when they have both sides,

they're now prepared and they have expectations that match what's actually

there. But if you have an expectation of getting one side,

your expectations are high and you have a bit of a fantasy,

and then when they hit you with the other side,

you're now upset and depressed.

So I want to have you write this down. Depression,

the way I define it, is a comparison of your current reality, which is balanced,

to a fantasy about how life's supposed to be,

which is one-sided.

I've worked with thousands of people that have had depression and even been

diagnosed with clinical depression and on medications and pharmaceuticals and

all kinds of things. I see them in my seminar almost every week.

And what I find is a series of unrealistic expectations

driving this depression. I want you to know that inside your mind,

if you're depressed,

you're focusing on the downsides and you're comparing it to the fantasy that

you're holding in your mind about how you wanted it to be.

I've yet to find anybody who's depressed that doesn't have that, not one.

And I know that they've been told, well they've got a biochemical imbalance.

The pharmaceutical companies love to make you think that.

And you may have biochemical imbalances,

no doubt your neurotransmitters are imbalanced whenever you have ratios of

perceptions imbalanced.

And anytime you have an expectation of a one-sided event,

you're going to get smacked with an unexpected.

So let me give you 15 reasons what I found most common in

depression. So make sure you write these down, .

The first unrealistic expectation that's sort of a fantasy is that when you meet

individuals that you're interacting with, you expect them to be one-sided.

You expect them to be nice, not mean, kind, not cruel, positive, not negative,

peaceful, not wrathful, generous, not stingy, giving, not taking, considerate,

not inconsiderate, et cetera, et cetera, positive without negative.

And anytime you have even a 51% or more of

one side more than the other,

you're going to set yourself up for having a little bit of you know, depression.

Because you're not meeting your expectation.

And when you're not meeting expectation, you get angry and aggressive.

You feel blame them and you feel betrayed. You get criticism and challenge,

despair and depression, desire to exit and escape,

futility and frustration, grouchiness and grief, hatred and hurt,

and irritability and irrationality.

And then even you feel like they're a jerk and you feel jaded.

I call those the ABCDEFGHIJ's of negativity.

So that negative experience is a compensation for the fantasy that they're

supposed to be one-sided. So anytime you expect a human being to be one-sided,

another individual, you're going to end up with the ABCDs of negativity,

guarantee it, because it's not going to happen.

They may start out that way for the first time you meet them and almost anybody

can put on that act. But long term, the probability,

every time you interact with somebody,

you have a higher probability because the sample size of interactions go up,

a higher probability of what you call the mean distribution of responses,

which means a balance of positives and negative responses.

So anybody who's been married for a period of time knows there's things you like

and dislike, the positive and negatives of the individual.

So if you expect somebody to be one sided, not both sides,

you're going to be setting yourself up for an unrealistic expectation.

And life's not going to match your expectation. And the fantasy,

what you have creates the nightmare of your life.

But if you have an expectation for them to live according to what they are and

then know that they're going to have both sides,

your expectation is calm and your expectation is more real.

And so they match your expectation and you feel fulfilled,

because you're getting what you expect.

Now the second thing that leads to this depression state is an expectation on

them and unrealistic expectation on other people to live in your values.

Now this is when you are self righteously,

projecting your values down on somebody and expecting them to live in your

values and meet your needs,

instead of caring enough to communicate what you value in terms of what they

value so they're actually having a sustainable fair exchange.

So the second you expect them to live in your values,

you're going to be betrayed. You're going to end up angry and aggressive again,

and you're going to be depressed because they're not living up to your values.

I see this in relationships.

Wives are basically expecting husbands to come home and be with the kids

sometimes.

And then the husbands are expecting the wives to not spend so much because

they're trying to get ahead financially, it's a general rule,

that could be reversed,a female could be working and the man could be taking

care of the kids or anywhere in between. But the reality is,

if you expect somebody to live in your values, not their own values,

you have futility. They're not going to do that.

Every decision people make is based on what they believe will give, you know,

fulfillment to their values, not yours.

So if you expect them to live in your values,

you're going to end up with the ABCDs of negativity.

And if you put those two together,

expect them to be one-sided and expect them to be living in your values,

you have a very strong probability of having a fantasy because of this.

And your life's a nightmare because it's not matching it. And you feel let down,

you felt down. And that is your, your depression is not an enemy,

it's not this disease.

It's a feedback to let you know that you're addicted

and fantasies and one-sided expectations on life.

And so the, the third one is a combination of the first two.

The fourth one is an unrealistic expectation on yourself to live one-sided.

Now you're expecting yourself to be always up, always positive, always kind,

always this. And you know, when you're a child, you had your grandmother,

your mother's saying, now be nice, don't be mean, be kind, don't be cruel,

be positive, don't be negative, be generous, don't be stingy, be peaceful,

don't be wrathful, stop fighting.

And they're projecting that onto you and then they turn around and do just the

opposite. It's a moral hypocrisy. So you're growing up with this fantasy,

this moral hypocrisy, you're supposed to be one-sided. You can't,

nobody can live that way. And so we can,

we can try that way we can be socially repressed and try to put that facade on

at times. But long term, based on the interactions of people,

the longer we are interacting with people,

the more probable we have a balance of responses.

So the fourth one is the unrealistic expectation yourself to be one-sided.

The fifth one is an unrealistic expectation on

values in somebody else's.

Now this is very common when you meet somebody and you're highly infatuated with

them and you have a delusion about who they're going to be and you don't want to

lose them for the fear of loss of them would be, you know,

a loss of that what you seek. And in the process of doing it,

you minimize yourself trying to live up to their expectation and you eventually

get up angrier and resentment because you have to sacrifice yourself to be with

them.

So you end up depressed because you're not able to be yourself around them.

But anytime you try to live in their values,

you're going to have self-defeating, it's going to be futile,

you can't sustain it, it's non-sustainable.

You can't live in other people's values and you can't expect them to live in

your values. It's unsustainable.

So if you expect yourself to live in their values,

you're going to have depression again,

because you're not going to live up to it.

So if you learn the art of communicating what you value in terms of their values

and they're getting what they want by you being who you are,

now you have a sustainable system and you have realistic expectation.

So if you expect yourself to be one-sided or expect yourself to live outside

your values, you're going to have the ABCDs of negativity and depression,

or mild degrees.

Now if you put those two together and now you put number five, pardon me,

number six, together, now you have a combination of those two,

just like combination of the first two.

Now you've got six possible ways there that can generate a depression.

Now the seventh one is a combination of all of them.

You basically have an unrealistic expectation on

outside their values and then live in your values and an unrealistic expectation

on yourself to be one side and to live in somebody else's values and put all

those together,

now you've got a compounded depression because you're now angry at the world

because the world's not matching your unrealistic expectation and fantasy.

Every time I've had people that have been clinically depressed, I ask them,

what are you comparing your life to? And then they come up with something, well,

my mom should have been here, my dad didn't do this, my wife's not doing this.

I go, if they did, what would be the drawback? They go,

I don't see any drawbacks. I'd be happy if I did.

Well as long as you have a fantasy that's one-sided and then your life is not

matching that well, of course you're going to be depressed. And your depression,

which is this quote, negative experience,

is basically a compensation for your addiction to the other side,

the positive experience. If you embrace both sides, you don't have that.

And if you expect people to live in their values and you don't have unrealistic

expectations, they won't betray you. Betrayal is not what somebody does to you,

it's what you do to yourself with an unrealistic expectation.

Now let's go to the next one.

The next one is an unrealistic expectation on the collective society.

Now you expect the world to be at peace without war and kind without cruel and

give without take and generous and not stingy and considerate and not

inconsiderate. But if you look,

there's a law of eristic escalation that says that whatever somebody is striving

for, there's somebody playing the opposite role.

You probably in your own family have a brother or sister that's like your

antiparticle, the behavior is completely opposite.

The world is made out of complementary opposites.

And for everything that's going on, there's somebody with an opposite view,

pro-life, pro-abortion, pro guns, anti-gun, pro-democratic,

pro-Republican or whatever. They're constantly having pairs of opposites.

So if you expect the world to match one sidedness, it's again another delusion.

We need both sides in order to evolve.

Just like you have an autonomic nervous system,

one for sympathetic for fight or flight, one for parasympathetic,

for rest and digest. You need both, day night cycles,

you need both of those systems. The fight or flight during the day,

the rest and digest at night.

You need a both in balance of life and so does society.

So if you expect society to be one side,

you're going to be angry at the world and then you're going to go listen to the

TV or whatever and the mass media and it's going to be telling you one side and

the other and you're going to be emotionally distraught

expecting the world and they're giving you negative media purposely because it

sells because it represents a predator and makes us, you know,

stand alert and watch it.

And so they're selling you that and then you're end up going but you have an

expectation life to be positive and then you end up beating yourself up and

angry at the world. Now if you on top of that,

go and project onto the collective society your values and expect the whole

world to live in your values, I see this very commonly. People say,

well if people would just do this, the world will be fine.

And that's delusional.

And we are depressed because life's not matching our values and we want

everybody to match our values. I was speaking at the United Nations,

UNESCO in France one time to delegates there that were being trained.

And I was amazed at how many delusions the people who were delegates were having

because they were expecting the world to be at peace if they would just abide by

their value system. It was a bit kind of bizarre to see how,

you know,

somebody who's going to be the future delegate is going to be living in such a

delusion, but people do.

Then you also have unrealistic expectations of the two,

that you expect the world to be one-sided and to live in your values.

So add all those up, that's another three on top of the seven we had,

now we've got 10. And now the 11th one is all the above. You add all those up,

now you've got even more depression.

It just keeps compounding because you have completely unrealistic expectations

on life. The next one is an unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects.

,

I've seen people really just take their computer and throw it on the ground

almost, they're screaming at it. Silly, stupid computer.

You have an unrealistic expectation on a computer to be nice, not mean,

or positive, not negative, or function, not non-function.

And a lot of times it's because we don't know how to run the computer and we get

expect this thing to work and read our minds or something and do what we expect

instead of knowing how to run the computer. But we have mechanical objects,

garage door openers, cars, any mechanical object, computers,

that we now expect to be one-sided. Or on top of that,

expect to live in our values.

And if all of a sudden everything that we thought of showed up on our computer,

we might be a little surprised by what we found on there.

But we have an unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects and technology

and then we think they're going to save the world.

But it's just a reflection of human behavior. And then

now you have those three and then you add them all up and you have 15

unrealistic expectations and delusions about life that I

see in people that are depressed. So I've had people that say,

well I'm on clinical, you know,

I'm on medication cause I've clinical depression,

I've got a biochemical imbalance, which has been refuted about six months ago

it was refuted and shown to not be the real factor,

but it was sold by the pharmaceutical companies.

And what's interesting is you go there and you ask , okay,

what exactly are you depressed about? Well they'll say, I don't know. Well,

you cannot have a feeling without content in the mind.

So go to the moment when you're depressed and then look at the content in your

mind and you can identify what's going on.

And we then go and find out that it's some unrealistic expectation.

We find that if life was this way, I'd be happy. And people are addicted,

if I had this, my parents did this, I'd be happy,

or if my wife wouldn't do this, I'd be happy.

And then they don't realize that they're putting themselves in one of those 15

delusions most commonly. And then I go, well, if they did what you fantasized,

what would be the drawback? They can't see a drawback. Well,

anytime you see a positive without a negative, you have a fantasy.

And anytime you're addicted to a fantasy that's all positive,

life's going to suck.

Life's going to be depressed because you're going to expect it to be one-sided,

and this is not likely to occur.

So depression is a comparison of your current reality, which is balanced,

to a fantasy about how it's supposed to be, which is imbalanced.

You're expecting others to live in your values,

you're expecting yourself to live in other people's values,

you're expecting life to be one-sided, or collectively.

So once you get grounded about what's real in expectation,

you calm down a lot of depressions. In the Breakthrough Experience program,

which I've taught for almost 35 years,

I've had people not even telling me that they had depression in the program

and then I'm getting a letter from them says I've literally had depression for

13 years, I've been on medication, and everything else,

after the program of doing the Demartini Method on my mom,

the thing I was so bitter about, I'm not depressed anymore,

my depression lifted.

Because for for many years there was an unrealistic expectation on a parent.

The parent's supposed to be a certain way. The parent is the parent,

the way it is, you have to ask, how's whatever they're being like, serving you?

To compare them to something that they're not, is unrealistic.

Anytime you expect something other than what it is,

to be something other than what it is, you got an unrealistic expectation.

If you expect somebody one sided, they're not going to do that.

They're going to let you down, not because they're letting you down,

but because you're letting yourself down by putting an unrealistic expectation

on them. So get grounded about your expectations. ,

the philosophers of the ages said, if you have all these fantasy expectations,

life's going to be miserable.

But if you get grounded about realistic expectations and set real objectives,

the executive center in your brain is designed to mitigate the risks that

come with the fantasies that you get addicted to.

If you set a goal that's only one-sided and it's only positive, not negative,

you're going to have intuition bring up your anxieties, fears,

self depreciations to try to point out that that's not real.

Life's got two sides. But if you set a goal,

an objective that's embracing both sides and you're mitigating the risk and

you're preparing for it and you've got an expectation that's real,

you achieve your goal, you're not depressed and you move forward.

So I'm a firm believer in setting realistic expectations and not fantasies.

You don't go to Mars or Elon Musk doesn't go to Mars with a fantasy,

goes to Mars with putting the engineers in there and thinking what could go

wrong? Thinking of the positive and negatives,

preparing for both of them and mitigating the risks and then going for it.

And the same thing in a relationship.

If you want to have a a real fulfilling relationship,

don't expect a one-sided relationship,

don't expect them to live in your values and set realistic expectations.

They're going to live by their values, make decisions accordingly,

and they're going to be two-sided. You support their values, they're nice,

you go against their values, they're mean.

By grounding yourself and setting really balanced expectations,

you automatically don't have these depressions.

Now I know that they're going to try to tell you that well it's because of a b

iochemical imbalance, but what is biochemical imbalance?

Neurotransmitters in the brain respond to perceptions.

If a tiger comes into a room and you all of a sudden you're frightened,

your testosterone, your cortisol, your adrenaline is going to skyrocket,

your serotonin, your endorphins, enkephalin's,

and estrogen are going to plummet.

If all of a sudden you find out it's Tony Tiger and he hugs you,

and it's your childhood friend, Tony Tiger,

then the thing will reverse in 200 of a millisecond.

Your chemistry is changing constantly according to your perceptions.

You have control over your perceptions.

Pharmaceutical industry wants you to believe that it's because of their

biochemical imbalance and they're the solution.

But you're actually the solution. Now, you can store in your subconscious mind,

in your hippocampus, an amygdala response. Every time you have a perception,

your amygdala assigns a valency, positive or negative to it.

It stores it in the hippocampus and short-term memory and sometimes long-term

memory. And if we store that and we have expectations based on it,

we can store and create memories that lead us to having unrealistic

expectations. And then we have biochemical imbalances.

It's not because that's the cause, that's murky,

it's because it's the effect of our perceptions.

I want to give you your power back and teach you that it's about your

perceptions. That's why when I teach the Breakthrough Experience,

I show people these, these 15 delusions. I show how to dissolve those delusions.

I show how to set realistic expectations.

I show how to live by priority where you're more objective and balanced.

I show you how to dissolve the emotions that may have been building up in your

subconscious mind so you can clear those.

So if you're in a situation where you're depressed, you have a solution,

you're empowered again, you're taking command of your life.

You're not necessarily discarding it over to here to some pharmaceutical company

and become a dependent. I don't want you to be a dependent,

I want you to be independently empowered in your life by setting realistic

expectations with real values, with real strategies that give you real results.

And then you're grateful for your life. If you're not grateful for your life,

somehow you're setting up fantasies and you're not meeting those fantasies and

then you're angry and you're ungrateful and that's totally a result of your

own perceptions and your own expectations.

That's why in the Breakthrough Experience,

I show people how to determine their values so they can live by their highest

values where they're more objective, so they set realistic expectations,

not polarized expectations. If they live in lower values,

they tend to go for a pleasure without a pain.

When they go in the highest values,

they embrace pain and pleasure in some pursuit of something deeply meaningful.

There's more fulfilling, more realistic expectations, more achievement.

So in the Breakthrough Experience, I show people how to determine their values,

how to set priorities by values, how to delegate lower priority things,

how to then using with the Demartini Method,

how to dissolve all the baggage that's stored in the subconscious mind that

holds people back and it's running around and causing that imbalance. I mean,

literally when they do the Demartini Method,

they're changing the chemistries in their brain. Absolutely.

They're changing the heart rate variability, the

They're setting realistic expectations, they're learning to love.

It's amazing what happens if all of a sudden they balance it out.

So that's what the Demartini Method's for,

to clear out the subconscious baggage that's got the imbalanced chemistries and

automatically set real objectives so you have realistic expectations.

And you dissolve away the depression .

We've had thousands of people come and say, you know, hey, I was depressed,

I'm not depressed anymore. I understand what's behind it now.

And I'm amazed at how many people just fall,

the majority of people out in the world just fall for it,

and there's like 30% of the population are taking drugs. It's insane.

Absolutely not the path that I promote.

I'm not saying that there's not a place for it for some people I guess that

don't want to do the work and don't want to be accountable and don't want to

break their illusions,

and may have some sort of damaged brain or whatever from injuries or something.

But that's not the majority.

The majority of people can take command of their life and really transform their

physiology and psychology.

So that's why I wanted to go over these 15 delusions and unrealistic

expectations. Just know you don't get a one-sided magnet,

and people that are living in a fantasy world, they're going to have depression.

Depression is a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy or unrealistic

expectation that you're living in.

If you get grounded and have a realistic expectation, it calms down.

Depression's not your enemy, it's not even a disease in my opinion.

It's a feedback mechanism to let you know that you're addicted to something

that's unrealistic and it's trying to get you grounded and getting realistic

again. And the moment you do, it calms. And I've seen it happen,

and I've seen really, really challenging cases,

there've been years of medication and sometimes getting them,

I don't take people off medication, they take themselves off.

I just tell people,

let's just clear out the illusions and then let you decide what is going on with

your physician.

And many times they were able to wean themselves right off the medications.

Not because that they were told by me to do it,

but they just did it with their physician. And they said,

I'd like to wean it 10%, 10%, 10%.

And some have just say cold turkey because they understand what was really

behind their depression.

And they have completely delusionary expectations sometimes.

And so I love breaking those fantasies so they can get grounded and get reality.

The magnificence of who they are is far greater than the fantasies they impose

on themselves.

So if you've had depression and you're sitting there and you want to transcend

it, come to the Breakthrough Experience. Let me show you the tools,

I'll give you the tools. You can do it on your own.

You can always have your medication,

but you may be able to set yourself free and not have to go through that and go

through and take command of your life and realize what's actually going on.

The second you take command and you dissolve it with the Demartini Method,

the baggage and the subconsciously stored emotional stuff that's distracting

you, the infatuation resentments, the griefs and all that, the expectations,

and ground that and set realistic expectations according

your life changes. That's one of the reasons. I mean since I was, you know,

very young, I've wanted to help people master life.

I am absolutely certain this helps you master your life.

It's amazing what I've seen, the transformations.

I get letters on a daily basis of people that have changed their life because

they've applied the principles.

So take the time to go in there and let's set realistic expectations.

Come to the ±Breakthrough Experience.

Let me show you how to dissolve the baggage,

clarify your mission and vision and your highest values,

set realistic objectives, not fantasies, polarizations,

not looking for a one-sided magnet.

And let's get grounded because the magnificence of that is far greater than

those fantasies you keep imposing yourself. If you

don't want to self depreciate, you don't want to have depression,

come to the Breakthrough Experience.

Let me show you how to take command of your life and instead of being

ungrateful for your life, you'll be able to be grateful.

Anything you can say thank you for is baggage.

Anything you can say thank you for is fuel.

I'd like to come and help you fuel your life and go do something amazing in your

life. So go and sign up for the Breakthrough Experience

26 hours together and I'm going to show you some amazing information that I

assure you will help and make a difference. You'll

right there in the program you'll see and feel the difference.

So it's not something that's going to someday happen,

it's right there you get to experience the result and learn how to do the tools.

So I look forward to seeing you on the next round next week.

Thank you for joining me for this presentation and

Experience.

That's where I can sit down personally and help you transform your life.