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In this episode, we delve into the art of decision-making, emphasizing the importance of speed and accuracy in achieving goals. We introduce a transformative approach that combines desire with non-resistance to consistently produce the best results.
We challenge the traditional decision-making methods, advocating for emotional alignment with choices rather than the exhaustive pros and cons lists. We shared personal insights and practical examples, illustrating how letting go of limiting beliefs can lead to better outcomes in career, relationships, and business.
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Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality
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What We Explored This Episode
00:04:30 Formula For Successful Decision Making
00:08:12: Stress and Resistance
00:12:40 States of Being
00:18:23: Transforming Resistance in Decision-Making
00:21:35: Aligning With Decisions
Memorable Quotes
"The speed and accuracy of your decision making is probably the number one thing that contributes to you achieving your goals. If we were able to eliminate all the time you spend in indecision and help you make decisions that consistently create the results you want, you become unstoppable."
"Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. You may have a desire for a fantastic career, but the key to materializing that career is to have the desire and then be in non-resistance 100% of the time."
"Sometimes the result you get isn't the result you want, but it's the result you need. The result you experience that is not what you expected or desired is part of the process of materializing the result you want over time."
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Transcripts
Hey, it's David, welcome back to a change of mind, a sanctuary for your spirit, a place where each and every episode I remind you of the certainty of the future. I'm your friend, your host, your guide. I'm going to share with you an absolute game changer for decision making in today's episode. I've gotten a lot of questions around, hey, how do I go about making a decision when I have multiple options to ensure I'm making the right decision? And a lot of people say, hey, look, there's no right or wrong decision, but that's absolutely not true. What I'm going to be sharing with you is a method by which you can guarantee that any decision you make ends up being the right decision. And this is important because all change comes from the decisions you make. So say you want to make a career decision, this job or that job, or a relationship decision, do I stay with him or do I leave him, or a business decision, do I do this marketing strategy or that marketing strategy, and how do I execute on the marketing strategy? All these decisions determine our destiny, and we spend so much time either worrying about what decision to make or making the decision, and then worrying about whether or not we made the right or wrong decision. And by the end of this episode, I'm going to show you how to make decisions that produce outcomes that you want and how to eliminate the indecision trap once and for all. Now this is important because again, the speed and accuracy of your decision make is probably the number one thing that contributes to you achieving your goals. Think about it for a second. If we were able to eliminate all the time that you spend in indecision, and on top of that, help you make decisions that consistently and predictably create the results that you want, you become unstoppable. And so in order for us to do this, we first have to understand what contributes to us making decisions that produce the results that we actually want. So we're going to zoom out for a second because a lot of people are playing a game that they don't understand. And the metaphor that comes to mind is I have no idea how the game of cricket works. If you've ever seen cricket, which kind of looks like baseball, but they've got these flat paddles. I've watched it a couple of times on TV, and I have no idea what's going on. Imagine you put me on the cricket field and my job was to actually perform to produce an outcome as part of the team. I would have no idea what I'm doing. And so most people have no idea what they're doing that's actually contributing to the results that they're producing that they want. And so in a lot of the episodes on this channel, we go to a concept called first principles or root cause. And I'm going to share with you a root cause distinction. You may have heard this on other episodes, but it's now in the context of decision making. And that is that anytime we're trying to produce a result, that result is not produced by making the right or wrong decision. That result is not produced by hustle and grinding. That result is not produced by being lucky. That result is not produced by having enough time or money. In other words, if you want to make more money, you don't produce more income or more wealth through right decision making, hustle and grind, having more time or money, being one of the lucky few. There is a formula that informs how we produce any result that we produce in our life. And that formula is this, and you can write this down if you can, or make a mental note. It's really important. It's probably the most powerful distinction I have ever heard of or discovered in personal development or personal growth. And that is this desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. So you may have a desire for a fantastic career. And the key to materializing that fantastic career or that promotion or that job opportunity is to have the desire and then be a non-resistant. 100% of the time, you will consistently and predictably produce the desired result. Your desire may be into being in a relationship with the man or woman of your dream. And it doesn't say desire plus have the perfect profile on whatever dating app that you use equals finding your soulmate. The equation says desire, find your soulmate, plus non-resistance equals desired result. You may have a desire to grow your business. The equation doesn't say desire plus find the perfect magic pill strategy to consistently and predictably generate high-paying clients equals desired result. It says desire. Your desire to have a business that's scaling, that is attracting high-paying clients, plus non-resistance equals desired result. So what is non-resistance? Non-resistance is the absence of limiting belief. So you can't want to be in a relationship with someone but believe there's no good ones left out there and produce the desired result. You can't want to have a promotion in your career but believe that you're not good enough and produce the desired result. You can't want to grow your business but believe that business growth is hard to achieve and produce the desired result. And this is not some sort of new age woo-woo. This is a fundamental understanding of behavioral psychology. Because whatever it is that you believe is going to inform on a moment-by-moment basis what you think. Those thoughts you will experience in your nervous system as emotion. Those emotions, the feelings you have, determine what you do or don't do and the decisions that you make on a day-to-day basis. And that action that you're taking will determine the quality of the result that you produce. And then when you produce the result, you'll observe the result and you'll come to the same conclusion. See, I knew money was hard to make. See, I know there's no good ones left out there. See, I knew I wasn't good enough. This is called the five primary drivers. It's fundamental to how behavioral psychology tells us the mind works. And so the name of the game is not to try to control your external circumstances or even to make the right or wrong decisions or the best decisions or to hustle and grind. The name of the game is have your dreams, have your desires, know what the outcomes are that you want, and then identify the resistance inside of you and let go of the resistance. Because the human being is naturally designed to achieve goals based on what we believe. And so if your beliefs are non-resistant, meaning if they're in alignment with what you want to produce, that you are good enough, that you are worthy, that money is easy to make, prosperity and abundance are your birthright, that your business success is an inevitability, then you're going to produce the desired result. So this is the first thing that we have to understand. How do we produce results in our life? Because so many of us are playing the wrong game. We're on the cricket field and we have no idea how the game works, but this is the way the game works. And by the way, this is why when you look at most people, they're not achieving the results that they want to produce in their life because we've been indoctrinated and domesticated into this idea of finding the perfect strategy, finding the magic pill potion. You've got a chronic disease or a health problem. You got to find the perfect practitioner who's somehow discovered some really complex way of identifying what's causing your inflammatory condition or your autoimmune condition, and then you can actually restore well-being. No, the equation says have the desire for well-being and then be non-resistant. And a lot of the resistance that's occurring for you is believing that you got to find the perfect practitioner and that you got complex disease that can only be resolved by somebody else. That's creating stress. That's why so many of the conditions we see are stress-related conditions. So financial scarcity is a stress-related condition. Challenges in your business growth is a stress-related condition. Health problems are stress-related conditions. And so anywhere that you're not producing a result that you want, it is a byproduct stress or what we would say resistance. Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. Now what does this have to do with the decision-making process? Well, the old way of decision-making was gather as much information as possible. You've heard this, right? Other people talking about this. Well, gather as much information as possible, pull out a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. On the left-hand side, list all the pros. On the right-hand side, list all the cons. And if there's more pros than cons, then that's a decision, right? It's an intellectual decision based on. And you can do that. I've done that. How is that working out for you? Is that helping you produce your desired results on a consistent, predictable basis? Probably not. I've made these lists a million times. And yet I'll employ a marketing strategy and it won't produce the results that I want. I'll make an investment and I won't get my return on investment. For years, I chased well-being as a result of mysterious chronic health conditions. And I'd come up with this decision-making process and what practitioner I'd go see or whether I'd go see a practitioner and I'd make a decision. But I struggled with quote-unquote chronic health challenges for a long, long time. So this traditional way of decision-making does not seem to be a game changer. But I'm going to give you the game changer, right? The game changer is this. If you've got two options, let's say one option is to pursue a particular marketing strategy with your business, right? You're going to hire a PR and branding agency to help you. And you've got a certain amount of budget that you can apply to that. Or another decision is you're going to focus on doing online. And you're like, I don't know which one to pursue. The answer is, it does not matter which one you pursue. What matters is that whichever decision you make, you line up with, you align with, you make the decision and are non-resistant with your decision. See, the name of the game is not right or wrong decision-making. The name of the game is make decisions quickly and easily and line up with that decision. Well, line up with that decision means I'm going to relax around the decision that I made, knowing that as long as I relax, as long as I'm non-resistant, this decision that I made will be the best decision that I could possibly make in this situation. You've gone out on a couple of dates with some guy or some gal and you're like, I don't know if I should continue to go out with this person. I don't know if they're the one. So I can either stop going out with them or I can continue going out with them. Which decision do I make? My answer is, it does not matter which decision you make as long as you make the decision and you line up with it. You line up your emotions and your thoughts around the decision in a way that it is non-resistant. You vibrationally line up with the decision that you've made. This is how decision-making is done well. It has nothing to do with the decision that you make and everything to do with your emotional experience of the decision. Why? Well, because every outcome that we produce is based on this formula, which is desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. When you are in non-resistance, you are in the parasympathetic expression of your nervous system. There are only two states of being. We call them primal states and powerful states. When you're relaxed, when you're experiencing joy, compassion, calm, peace, serenity, empathy, excitement, you're in a powerful state of being. That's the parasympathetic expression of your nervous system. That's rest, relaxation, refreshing, connection, intuition, inspiration, alignment. Or when you're in resistance, you're in a primal state of being. That is the sympathetic expression of your nervous system. Fight, flight, or free. That's anger, boredom, jealousy, worry, overwhelm, concern. That state of being produces indecision, procrastination, self-sabotage. It drains your energy. It consumes your time. It prevents the coincidences and synchronicities that are always working, the system of infinite intelligence from organizing experiences to manifest timing and support you in the results that you're trying to produce. It keeps all of those at bay when you're in fight or flight. So you're either operating from the emotional state of being of what I would call the supreme man or the evolved human being, pre-man or woman, or you're operating like an animal with primal instinct and react. And so the name of the game is to be in non-resistance. With non-resistance, we have a down-regulated nervous system, and so it doesn't matter what decision you make because you can make that decision right, and life will work with you to make that decision right as well. So don't be concerned around making the right or wrong decision. Make a decision and make it right, and you make it right by aligning with that decision. And so a better exercise to do would be draw a line down a piece of paper in the middle. Put your two decisions on the left or right hand side and say, if I make this decision, what resistance, fears, doubts, or worries might I have about this decision? And look at those doubts, fears, and worries and see if you can let go of those doubts, fears, and worries. Because you're lining up with the decision in non-resistance is the most important piece of decision-making process. Now you may say, but Dave, there have been times where I feel like I've been aligned in my decision-making process, but it didn't produce the results that I wanted. So let's talk about results for a sec. Sometime, the result you get isn't the result you want, but it's the result you need. I'll say that one more time. Over time, the result that you get isn't the result that you want, but it's the result you need. And what I mean by that is the result that you experience that is not what you expected or desire is part of the process of materializing the result you want over time. And the key is to accept it as such and stay in non-resistance. See, sometimes the outcome that we're looking for isn't just a one step and we're there. Sometimes it's a series of steps. I kind of think about it as like hopping across little lily pads across a little stream. It's like we jump to one, then we jump to the next, and we jump to the next, and we jump to the next, then we get to the other side. And the beautiful thing about life is that life is always going to give you the result that you need, even though it may not be the result you want. It's going to afford you the most effective path to producing the result that you want based on where you are in terms of your thoughts, your belief systems, and your habit of vibration. The name of this game is to align with the outcome that you want. And so sometimes we have to go through a couple additional steps. Sometimes life encourages us to meet some other people who will benefit us downstream. Sometimes we have an experience that we didn't expect, but it allows us to develop more character or learn some things or get stronger or become more courageous because that's what's required ultimately in order to produce the desired result. So you may desire to have a phenomenal career and it may be two or three jobs away from you, right? But the important thing is as much as possible to stay in non-resist. So when the result shows up and it's not the result you wanted, acknowledge that, but this is the result that I need. And I may not see it right now, but it's sort of that Steve Jobs quote of when I look backwards, I can connect all the dots. You know, and pause for a second. Think about your life. It's happened to you and I so many times. We had a desire that we wanted. We thought that there was this straight line plan to get there. That straight line plan is not plan that ended up unfolding, but eventually we got there and we look back on it and it was an even better plan than we could have devised for ourselves. We made friends along the way. We created additional benefit for ourselves along the way. We had joy experiences along the way. It's like life is designing this plan for us. It's important for you to have a plan. That's what gets you out the front door, start to pursue change in your life. But then immediately life starts to work for you and it's important for us to kind of allow life's plan to unfold and work with it. It's a co-creative process. Again, going back to this idea of non-resistance is key. And anytime we move into a resistance, it's a result of the thoughts that we're having, the beliefs that we have, the meaning that we're giving the experience. And so this container that I'm giving you is essentially a new framework or a new lens for you to start playing the decision making game, for you to start relaxing around decision making, to know that the important thing here is not what decision you make, but what is your emotional relationship with the decision that you've made? And if you find that there's some resistance that's coming up for you, identify that resistance and work to transform and let go of the resistance. Because you know what? That resistance isn't being created by this decision that you've made. That resistance has been inside of you for a long, long time. In a lot of other episodes, I talk about where our beliefs come from. I talk about how when you discover the resistance, I give you tools to actually transform them. But if you're making a decision, for example, around a marketing strategy that doesn't work out, let me take a step back. If you've got two choices in front of you, and we'll just keep it simple with some of these examples. You've got a choice to pursue one job or another job, and you decide to pursue job A instead of job B, but then you notice that you worry about whether you made the right or wrong decision. Number one, just notice that that's a habit. It has nothing to do with decision that you've made. You just worry about decision. Your mind will try to make it about the decision you've made, but you have a habit of worry and a habit of worrying about decision. That's been going on a long, long time. The way that you can let that go is to transform your belief about the decision-making process, which is what we're doing here, where you go, oh, wait a minute. I just remembered the decision is not the important part. It's my alignment with decision, so I can let go of this worry about whether or not I've made the right or wrong decision. But also just notice if you've made a decision and you think to yourself, I may not be qualified for this job, so I've made the decision, but I have this doubt or this hesitation about whether or not I'm qualified. That doubt can contribute to producing a result, which is you look back and you feel like this isn't the best decision, choosing this job. Remember, the resistance can insert itself, and that's what produces these experiences where we go, well, shit, this isn't the result that I want, right? So notice that you've got this doubt about whether or not you're good enough or whether or not you're qualified, but it has nothing to do with the decision that you've made to accept the position. It has to do with the fact that you doubt whether or not you're good enough, you doubt whether or not you're capable. So as you start playing the decision-making game at a higher level, you realize that you can make either decision, and you understand that it's about aligning yourself up with that decision in a non-resistant way, you can begin to notice the resistance as it comes up after you've already made the decision, and know that that resistance has nothing to do with the specific decision you've made. That resistance is telling you something about yourself. That resistance is revealing a habit of thought and habit of emotion that's inside of you that's been around for a long, long time, and the opportunity is for you to transform that habit. Again, tons of tools and all of the other episodes on the show for you to be able to do that, but know that that's the game that you want to play, and as you let go or transform the resistance that comes up as a result of the decision that you've made, now you get into alignment with the decision itself, and then you can trust that no matter what the result is, you've made the right decision. You've made the right decision not because you chose the right decision. You made the right decision because you chose to go in a particular direction, and you lined up with it. So this is decision-making 2.0. It's a completely different game, and I'm telling you right now, it is a game changer. One of my mentors who's created over a billion dollars of wealth and a tremendous impact in the world and has something like 11 companies, I asked him once, I said, man, if you were to kind of think about one distinction that you could share with me that you believe has contributed to your ability to create this empire of impact and income, what would it be? And he said, I stopped worrying about the decisions that I made, and I started making decisions very, very quickly, knowing that whatever decision I made, I could make decision right. Now, he didn't know at that time that he makes the decision right by lining up with decision, but what he's really articulating and expressing is a confidence and a boldness about decision-making. He doesn't spend any time worrying about whether or not he made the right or wrong decision, and so in a sense, what he's saying is, I've learned how to drop the resistance around decision-making, and I'm playing decision-making according to a different set of rules, and that's what I'm encouraging you to do as well. So go out today, make some bold decisions, notice if there's any resistance that comes up, work with the resistance, and align with the decision, and surrender the outcome, knowing that if you've got alignment in your decision-making process, the results that you're producing may not be the results that you want, but they're the results that you need, and you're on your way to 100% consistently and predictably producing the desired outcome that you want. Man, thanks for letting me share that with you. I get a lot out of sharing on these episodes, too, because I'm on the journey with you, and a lot of these awarenesses are reminders to me about how I can improve my... And as I have, my life has become something extraordinary. I've gone from a drug addict and an alcoholic with no money in my bank account and a bankrupt business to living really the life, the business, the relationship of my dreams, and I want that for you, too. And so just see if you can apply this process a little bit in your life and watch as things magically begin to change. And if you love this episode, do me a favor, subscribe. If you're on YouTube, hit the bell icon, subscribe. If you're on the podcast platform, share this episode with somebody else if you thought it was a fantastic episode, because we're all on this journey together. So I love you so much. Thanks for letting me be here with you and for investing your time and energy in this space together, and I'll see you in the next one.
