Jim Flaherty, at 89 years old, shares his inspiring perspective on aging and the importance of viewing every day as a gift. He emphasizes that maintaining a positive outlook and a sense of purpose is crucial for a fulfilling life, regardless of age. Through his experiences and wisdom, Jim highlights the value of establishing meaningful connections with others, countering the loneliness that many face as they grow older. He also discusses his writing journey, including his latest book, "Embrace Your Age," which encourages readers to approach aging cheerfully and productively. With anecdotes from his life and insights on the power of generosity, Jim leaves listeners with a heartfelt reminder that the way we treat others ultimately shapes our own happiness and longevity.

The conversation with Jim Flaherty unfolds an inspiring narrative on aging gracefully and purposefully at 89 years old. Flaherty begins with a reflection on his upbringing in Coral Gables, Florida, highlighting the simplicity of life before the digital age. He attributes his positive outlook to the wisdom imparted by his mother, who taught him the importance of confronting self-doubt and viewing each day as a precious gift. This foundational perspective on life has propelled him to embrace every opportunity and maintain a cheerful disposition, regardless of age.

Flaherty dives into the critical issue of loneliness, particularly among seniors, emphasizing that social connections are vital for well-being. He points to alarming statistics that link loneliness to health risks, urging listeners to take initiative in fostering relationships. His anecdotes about volunteering and engaging with various community groups illustrate practical ways to combat isolation. Flaherty's belief in the power of intergenerational relationships is evident as he shares his experiences of learning from older mentors and mentoring younger individuals, reinforcing the idea that wisdom knows no age limits.

In addition to his reflections on life and relationships, Flaherty discusses his recent written works, including 'Embrace Your Age' and 'Loving Longevity', which serve as tools to inspire others to find joy in aging. He expresses a desire to create an interactive platform where individuals can discuss the joys and challenges of growing older. Flaherty's message resonates with a profound truth: life is about connection, purpose, and the continuous pursuit of happiness, no matter one's age. His story is a powerful reminder that embracing life with gratitude and generosity can lead to a fulfilling existence, encouraging others to do the same.

Takeaways:

• Every day is a gift, and approaching life with gratitude can enhance our happiness.
• Creating connections and friendships is vital for maintaining a fulfilling and joyful life.
• Finding and pursuing your inner purpose can lead to greater satisfaction and meaning.
• Volunteering and engaging with your community can combat loneliness and enrich your life.
• Embracing aging positively can help individuals continue to thrive and contribute to society.
• Practicing courtesy and kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world.

Links referenced in this episode:

• jamesbflaherty.com

Well, Jim, welcome to the podcast.

How you doing today?

I'm doing very well.

Keith, good morning to you.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show.

So I'm going to have you tell us a little bit about your background, give us your, your history.

Okay.

I was born in Coral Gables, Florida, before air conditioning.

I'm 89 years old.

Keith, first of all, you know, so I'm a.

Fortunately, thank you, Jesus.

I'm a very happy, healthy 89 year old and I have no plans for waking up on the wrong side of the grass anytime soon.

But I grew up in the 50s.

You know, I did not see, we did not have a television and we had the first one on the block until I was 15 years old.

So, you know, it was a different world.

Right.

In many respects, I think it was almost a nicer world.

I was grateful that I was able to raise my children when they did not have a cell phone in their hands.

Right, exactly.

So they're probably more well rounded than a lot of our kids today are.

I couldn't see the bottom of that imaginary ladder that you're supposed to climb up.

I was so far down and much to my amazement, found myself at age 33 in a corner office in New York as a madman.

I hate to mention that if people ever watch that TV series, I used to say, yes, that basically was the story of my life.

I was an advertising creative director, a writer creative director, except there was no hanky panky in my office and nobody ever got drunk.

There you go.

So you're a Spartan.

Where to go?

Sparty?

Yeah.

Absolute, absolutely, absolutely.

My wife's from Lansing, so I know Michigan State well.

Good, good, good.

So, Jim, I'm curious.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

I think it's a combination of what I've received and what I've learned.

I'll go back, I'll take one.

I'm going to assume that all of your listeners have a mother.

I had a remarkable mother.

My father died when I was young.

Suddenly he was district attorney of the city of Miami.

And he went into the hospital one Sunday and died the next Sunday and when he was 47.

And my mother was a terrific, terrific woman.

She was very smart, an Illinois farm girl who'd gone to nurses training down in Miami, Florida.

And when I was about 20, I think it was, she sat me down and said I want to tell you something.

Every morning of your life, you're going to have to confront your biggest critic.

You're the toughest person you know in your life, the highest emotional wall you have to hurdle.

It's that person in your bathroom mirror.

And you can either look at that person and go, good God, another day, or smile bravely and cheerfully and say, good God, another day, and go for it.

And she meant it.

And I adopted that.

And I know it sounds maybe a little bit corny to some people, but I still do that.

I still say, good God another day.

Thank you.

I look at every day as a gift, because it is a gift.

I mean, what miracle can it be in eternity, which is billions of years?

What do we live, maybe six minutes?

And we have an opportunity every day to get up and see, hear, taste, touch, share, speak, embrace, love.

I mean, that's terrific.

So I approach every day like that.

I never wake up depressed because I'm cheerful and grateful to have another day.

That's a.

I love that quote.

That's a great, great approach to life, too.

It really is.

To learn teaches you to appreciate every moment, every second of your life as a gift.

You bet.

You bet.

I really mean it.

Yeah.

I'm curious.

Someone of your stature and your life experience, who were some people in your life who served to inspire you or maybe even serve as a mentor for you?

Well, okay.

I always had.

Not sure why, but I always had much older friends.

I mean, 20 to 50 years older.

And I listened to them.

They were wise.

You know, I realized now industry, businesses are starting to recognize that sometimes maybe the people who are 60 to 80 are smarter than the ones who are 30 to 50.

You know, and it.

It's remarkable what I learned from them.

And I did listen.

And if they said, turn left, turn right, I did it.

And I'm sure it helped me.

And I try to do that now because I find myself.

I'm a mentor.

A lot of people say, but, you know, Jim, how do you feel about it?

You know, there was a time in history when they always said the most productive years of mankind, meaning mankind and womankind, were 40 to 50.

Now they're saying 70 to 80 is the most crucial years, and after that are 60 to 70.

And the 40 to 50 is in third place, you know, so the end of the world.

As we know, demographically, we're getting older.

Every year there are more of us by 20.

Exactly.

Yeah, I learned from them.

And I also embraced a quote from, of all people, Noel Coward, that British wag and wit who wrote something years ago that I absolutely loved.

And I still believe it.

You'll love this.

Work is more fun than fun.

And it made me a very happy and productive workaholic.

Not to the point that I ignored my family at all, but I really enjoyed going to work every day.

I thought, wow, is this terrific?

I have an opportunity to learn or to fix things or to be a better boss or to be a better employee or to help my clients better.

It was terrific for me.

That's amazing.

I love that.

So you wrote a book, Embrace your age.

Yes.

So tell us about what led you to write that book.

Okay.

I've written five books.

I just finished the fifth book.

It's called Loving Longevity.

The first two books I wrote, these two at the bottom were fiction novels.

You know, Broadway, romance, sex, international travel, everything good books to take to the beach.

And they're a good read and they're interesting and I would love to have them made into movies or TV series.

And then when I hit 80, I started thinking about, hmm, I saw too many people in my age bracket who were retreating from life.

And I said, why, hey, get up, get going, you know?

And I started writing about aging cheerfully and productively.

And I do a lot of public speaking along those lines.

And So I wrote first Dear Old Friends.

I wrote that when I was 80 and I just finished embrace your age about a year and a half ago.

And it really is a good book.

It's not a novel.

It's 18 or 19 easy to read chapters printed in 14 point type, by the way, so it's easier for older eyes to read.

And every chapter asks a question, you know, why don't you have more friends?

How are you going to handle it when they die?

But it makes people think about their life.

It's written really as a shoulder to shoulder chat.

It's Jim saying, hey, Keith, did you ever think about what are you going to do about this?

You know?

And the current book is more of the same, the Loving Longevity.

I have as a subtitle for that make your next 10 to 20 years your best.

And under my name at the bottom of the book it says James b.

Flaherty.

I'm 89 and have a 10 year plan.

I Love that.

Which I do.

I mean, I've got.

So this is my.

I live by my schedule.

This is my daily schedule.

Oh, my.

That's quite.

Every line.

Every line is a day.

And there are very, very full days, you know, and so.

And I try to live up to them.

That's quite impressive.

You know, people often see age as a challenge, but you approach it with a smile.

You can just see it from those who are watching the video of this.

So what's your secret to maintaining that positive outlook?

Well, I guess part of it is that going back to the everyday as a gift, you know, which is very much a part of it.

On a more.

Let's take a more practical look at that.

Every evening I make a list of the six or seven things I really would like to accomplish the next day.

And I put that list, if I'm traveling, on my bathroom sink so that I know I can find it.

And if I'm here at home, I put it on my keyboard and I jump and I attack that list first thing in the morning.

So that no matter what, if I get through most of the list, I can say at the end of the day, not a bad day, I got this done and that done, it's fine.

You know, too many people, they make a list of things, oh, one of these days, I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that.

Eh, don't do that.

What are you going to do tomorrow?

What do you hope to accomplish?

What should you do?

And I also tell people, if you're not going to ask me about it, I will talk about it.

One of the biggest, the most dangerous things in the world as people get older is living a solitary life or actually finding themselves being lonely.

They've now, the medical community has recognized and the psychological community that loneliness is as deadly as cigarettes.

I mean, it really will kill you just by virtue of the fact that you don't have another human being to share with, to be happy with, to argue with something, you need contacts around you.

And every study in the world shows that the more contacts you have, the longer and happier you live.

You know, that's why they have this area they call the blue zones, where there are more centenarians than any place else in the world.

I did a week's workshop with Dan Buettner, who discovered the blue zones.

And it's wonderful.

And they're basically people who they still are working, they have family around them.

They'll sit down at the table and there will be three or four generations at one table.

I try to do that when I have a party.

I have people in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s, you know, and now and then a 40 year old will sneak in.

But that's all right.

That's right, the young, young whippersnapper.

Yeah, absolutely.

I have four millennial grandsons.

There you go.

You mentioned just now most people don't have many friends.

As many friends as they should.

That's right.

Why do you think that is?

And what can they do to change that?

It.

Okay.

It's a tough one, Keith.

You know, I, I know people who were sticks of Dynamite in their 40s, 50s and 60s who now are saying, oh, nobody really cares about me and I'm old.

And I said, that's.

I won't say the word, but I'll say that's a tough word that I say to them.

Absolutely ridiculous.

You know, you, if you were funny at 50, guess what, you're still funny at 80.

You still have a sense of humor.

So if you find yourself alone, then call the local library and find out what plans they have.

Some of them have painting classes, they have book clubs, they have movie nights or volunteer.

All hospitals need volunteers.

Your church, a lot of people, of course, don't go to church anymore.

And I say, guess what?

Go to church.

It may be, find a minister or a rabbi or a priest, ask around, find somebody who's really interesting and then you'll go to church.

I go to church.

I mean, I have a rabbi friend who calls me, I love it.

A collapsed Catholic because I'm an elder in a Presbyterian church.

An elder, meaning I'm on the board and I help direct the church.

I said to the minister, who's a very close friend of mine, I said, I know why you wanted me on the.

You wanted a hit man.

And he said, because I get things done.

You know, everybody's saying, yeah, well, maybe we'll do this and maybe we'll do that.

I said, no, no, no, no.

Enough of them maybe crap.

We're going to do it now.

We're going to get things done.

And I tell people, if you go to church, you will meet people, you know, you're.

And I know the congregation and they're sweet people.

I'm very fond of them all.

I know them all.

And I tell people, you can do that.

You can volunteer church or the hospital or go to your library or the YMCA or the veterans organization, but reach out and make a connection with somebody.

And then I tell other people, if you're, if you've Got everything working for you.

Remember all those people, you know, who are alone and call them once a week and call and say, how are you?

And try to remind them of the fun things you've done together and try to get them back into the mix a little bit, you know, that's really.

That'S really good advice.

I remember when I was a young pastor, my very first congregation, we had a lot of older members who lost their spouses.

And I had read a survey that if you lose a spouse, especially one that you.

A long time marriage, those people, if they don't get back involved in a congregational fellowship within a year, they typically don't survive and they pass away within that year.

That's right.

A lot of people die within a year because there's nobody there to talk to or argue with.

It absolutely throws me.

I've been widowed twice, you know, and the last time ended after three and a half years of caretaking, dementia.

And boy, does that take a lot out of you.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it just drains you, you know.

But I'm glad I was able to do it.

I was healthy enough to say, fine, we'll get through it, it will be okay, you know, and it was.

And you still, even though it's called the long goodbye, it still almost killed me because we didn't, didn't we?

I don't know.

You just never expect they're going to die.

They're going to go on forever and it's okay.

Now it's been three and a half years and I went back to being Jim the compulsive happy workaholic who I work anywhere from seven to 10 hours a day, very cheerfully, because I've got things to do and I'm going out, I'm giving speeches and I'm going to workshops.

I just came back from a fabulous workshop in New Mexico with the teacher was Liz Gilbert, who wrote Eat, Pray, Love.

You know, she's just incredible.

And a fascinating black woman named Tara Rye, T E R E R A I Trent from Africa.

Her family sold her when she was 12 years old to a man to be his wife, a cow.

And by the time she was 15, she had three children and then she had three more.

And then a woman Better States where she earned a bachelor's, a Master's and a PhD.

She's a worldwide speaker.

She's built 44 schools in Africa.

The woman is a dream come true.

She's probably 70 now, and I absolutely adored her.

In fact, can I back up?

Something wonderful happened while I was In New Mexico.

First went to visit an old friend who was dying and I wanted to be there and say goodbye.

And then I drove across New Mexico by myself to get to this workshop.

I had half a tank of gas.

I thought, good, I'll stop in an hour and a half so I can empty my tank and fill the other tank.

It'll be fine.

And I saw the gas meter go to quarter full and then down lower and lower.

And there's nothing in a 250 mile road.

I mean absolutely nothing.

Not a gas station, nothing at all.

And it got down, it popped up and said, low fuel.

So I'm proactive.

I stopped the car, I stood out, put the flashy lights stood out and waved.

Twenty cars went by, speeding by so they wouldn't have to see me.

And one pulled in and a sturdy young man got out.

There's a girl in the car with him.

He turned out to be a military guy.

They were in Civics going to visit her newly widowed father in Albuquerque.

And he said, he looked at the meter and he said, just follow me, sir.

And we go off the main road and we're driving.

We go to an RV trailer park city with one gas station which was closed.

He said, stay with us.

We go another road and he takes me to a service station.

And I thought, what to say to these kids.

So I got out a copy of embrace your age and signed it for them.

And I said, give this to your dad and you read it to him.

It might help him.

I said, and secondly, I said, I want you to know, I don't know where this came from, but it came out of my head.

I said, God has a big book.

I said, well, maybe it's a word file saved in a giant computer, but I think he has a big book full of the names of all the people in the world who, when they see somebody who is worried or hurt or hungry or thirsty, they stop and put a hand out, expecting nothing in return.

They are just there to love thy neighbor as thyself.

And I said, and you become one of God's good people.

I'm sure you will always be that.

He'll always look out for you and you'll continue being that way.

And I think you're both wonderful.

And you know, and I thought that they thought, who is he?

Some evangelical preacher.

And my minister loved the story.

He made me tell the story in church.

But I was very touched by them.

And you know something?

I try to do that every day.

It can be small ways.

It's called Courtesy, it's called thanking the woman who's checking out your groceries to say, aren't you nice putting all my frozen things in one bag and thank you.

And she'll smile at you.

And she'll not just smile at you, she'll turn to the next person and smile at them.

A small act of courtesy gets carried on to somebody else.

You know, I think it's a.

It's a good way to be.

That's an amazing story.

And it's a great reminder.

Yeah.

What I.

What I get out of our conversation so far that I really want to kind of drill down a little deeper on is.

Yes, sir.

How important it is at every age to have a sense of purpose.

Because if.

If you don't have a reason to get up in the morning, that motivates you to get out of bed and push forward.

You don't have much reason to exist sometimes.

So tell us how you continue.

I mean, because you seem to have this great schedule, this great vision for the next 10 years.

How do you continue to have a clear purpose for your life?

Okay.

I think that inside of everyone there is a purpose.

There's another person that perhaps you've never let see the, the light of day, you know, because you.

We live by obligations.

I always had an obligation.

I was a father.

I was a husband and a father and a worker.

And I even even took a job in Argentina once when my kids were 9 and 11.

We moved 5,400 miles to Argentina.

And I.

And I always did my job first.

And I thought, gee, do I.

What I really would like to be as a full time writer?

I didn't have time to do that because I had obligations.

But I knew in my heart of hearts what I really am is a writer, and I love to do that.

And I think inside of everyone there is a person.

There's a writer, a painter, a builder, a cook, a planter, a helper.

There's something.

There's a preacher.

There's all kinds of people inside of you.

And a lot of people, I say to people, look inside yourself and try to find that inner person and let that person out.

And I actually recommend a book to read, not one I wrote called the Power of Purpose.

It's a very, very good book to read.

And years ago I had a wonderful lecture and I can't remember who it was.

A professor said, I want you to put down in just six words who you are, what you represent, and what you want to be in just six words.

I am present, living, giving, loving, and I have it taped to the bottom of my monitor so I have to see it all day long and to remind myself of that's who and what I'm supposed to be, you know.

And inside of each one of you there is somebody and you should be present for that person and you should be present for other people.

Can I tell?

I know, I don't want us to run out of time.

Can I tell a story?

Oh, sure.

About also comes from my dear and darling mother.

I even have her picture on my website.

I guess I was a mom boy, and I mean that in a good sense.

She raised me with the Golden Rule and as I got older and had children, I thought it's a wonderful idea.

But you lay that on a four year old, do unto other as you would have others do unto you and they'll go, huh, what?

So I'm a writer.

I rewrote the Golden Rule, which started way back before Confucius.

And every single religion in the world has used it in some form and it's actually in the Bible, almost the exact words of the way it is of doing to others.

But I rewrote it.

You get what you give.

And if you give a sympathetic ear, a generous heart, a meaningful smile, a loving hug, you get it back.

If all you do is bitch and moan and complain and criticize and demand, that also comes back and bites you somewhere behind you, below your belt buckle, you know, and if people can learn to live by the Golden Rule, which is really an extension of the second commandment of love thy neighbor as thyself, it makes life much easier.

I mean, life isn't that.

Yes, the world is confusing politically, economically, financially, spiritually, in every way possible.

The world is not an easy place to live in.

But you as an individual can make it better.

Not only for yourself, but for the people around you if you think you get what you give.

So if you give good, you get good.

And that works.

At least it works for me.

And I'm.

I'm grateful for it.

I'm grateful for it every day.

I love that.

So you've written four books in your 80s.

What's next?

Well, besides this new book, Loving Longevity, I may turn that into a some kind online virtual forum of loving longevity.

Talk it over with your old friend Jim and I would have on special people you know, say today, guess what folks, we're going to talk about.

You want to live longer?

We're going to talk about religion and church and I want you to meet my, my old friend here, Reverend Keith Haney, and my minister over here.

And we're going to talk about the different things of what it can do to you.

And by the way, there's a statistic that people go, huh?

And I say it's statistic, I'm not making it up.

If you go to church for a church of your choice, a Muslim, a synagogue, a temple, doesn't matter what it is, four times a month, you will live four to eight years longer.

And people go, huh?

I say, yeah, why?

Maybe it's because it's peace of mind.

I think it's something else.

I think it's recognizing that there is a higher power that is who is more important than you are, that the world does not revolve around yourself and that if you get yourself into a conversation with God, with your own God, then it helps you and you are more at peace with yourself.

But that's one way.

Then there might be another session in my loving longevity show of we're going to talk about wills and trust and what you should do about it.

And have you talked to your children about it?

Do they know or are they sitting there thinking, guys, I wonder if dad's going to die and I want that particular piece of sculpture.

Talk it over.

Let's put it all out on the table.

Let's not wait for last minute stuff to happen in your life.

It's too hard on everybody around you anyway.

And I would love, I need an agent key, you know, a good literary agent.

I think it would probably be easier for me to get the Pope to come to Armenia in New York and it's my dinner than to find a meaningful agent.

But I need an agent because these two books, the Role of a Lifetime and Claire, Wife, Mother, Mistress, Murderer would be terrific.

TV series or full length feature films.

I also have written a full length screenplay and I've created an original TV series.

But again, those things will go nowhere without an agent.

I know that.

So I do a lot of public speaking now with the hopes that somebody will say, well, he's an old fool, but maybe I'll give him, I'll look at his stuff and see if it's worthwhile, which I would like.

That's so great.

So I love to ask my guests this question, what do you want your legacy to be?

I guess I'm going to go Back to what I said earlier.

I really would like people to understand.

To understand.

It sounds very simple that every day is a gift.

If you will embrace the thought that, wow, I haven't another opportunity to exist today, you'll wake up with a smile.

I mean, that's.

It's such a.

It is such an incredible opportunity.

Think.

Think of the world, especially those of us who have been fortunate enough, thank you, God, for letting us be born into a civilized world.

Think of how many people like this woman I told you about who sold at age 12 for a cow to be a wife of somebody.

People who have lived in absolute poverty, who've never been warm in winter, who have never been.

Have never had enough food, who are barely existing.

And those of us who we've been given.

Be grateful for all that you have every day and to embrace every day as a gift and an opportunity to share your gratitude and to share your goodness with somebody else.

Help somebody else.

It will make you feel much better if you call a lonely person or if you are courteous.

Pick up a bag for people.

Open doors, for God's sake.

Whatever happened to courtesy?

That's great.

So, Jim, what key takeaways do you want the audience to leave from our conversation today?

Okay.

Of all the loving things we've talked about today, I guess the golden rule, my version of the golden rule, you get what you give.

And I want you to remind yourself of that every day.

Say, if I give good, chances are I'm going to get good.

You know, if I stop on the highway to help some old fool who's running out of gas, something good is going to come back to me.

You know, I mean, it's.

Life isn't all that difficult if people will really do that.

Other than that, if you're a famous agent, I want you to call me and say, here, Flaherty, I know you could use another couple million dollars for your grandchildren.

There you go.

So all agents who are listening to this podcast and actually do have quite a few agents who listen to the podcast, give Jim Flaherty a call.

Good.

Absolutely.

They can find me on my website, which is, James, the initial B for boy.

A lot of people use that B for a different word, but.

Jamesbflaherty.

F L A H E R T Y.com and that will introduce them to all of my books.

And I'm happy to go and talk to you all about anything.

Talk to you about public speaking or raising children or living abroad or writing.

I've taught writing also because I.

I love.

I love that always.

Well, Jim, thanks so much for providing such a great conversation to the podcast today.

And blessings on the work that you do and look forward to seeing that screenplay and those series on TV somewhere.

So the agent who's listening, give Jim a call.

Keith, thank you so much.

Reverend KEITH I really enjoyed it very, very much.

Thank you.