We're baaaaack! We're so excited to be back for a season two, coming back with the same rambling that you know and love, with twice as much goodness! We're catching up today on what we've been up to during our hiatus, finding joy in community care when the world is a mess, and how we've been finding healing (or not, because this is real life)

Topics this week include:

• False positives on drug screens thanks to Everything But the Bagel seasoning
• Fitness goals and cracking walnuts in booty cheeks
• Taking classes and trying new things
• Navigating the unemployment process
• Tennis Fashion
• The Grocery Cost Is Too Damn High (and asking for financial help)
• Hanging out at the mall in 1998 and the loss of third spaces
• Can we please leave the house for free?
• The correct recipe for avocado toast, and other ways to nourish yourself as a depressed adult
• All the joy ahead for season two!

This weeks challenge: Listen to the next episode (it's out now!)

Find Us:

• Healing Happy Hour on Instagram
• Healing Happy Hour on Patreon
• Healing Happy Hour on Facebook
• Healing Happy Hour on TikTok
• Crystal on Instagram
• Vienna on Instagram
• Healing Happy Hour Website

Music by FASSounds on Pixabay.

Tell me.

me about this dark, femme, slut, summer aesthetic that we're going for.

So, I'm delighted by it.

It's probably not that much different than.

What I look like,

just the energy.

Maybe like a lipstick.

I don't know.

One of the things I really am enjoying about being 40 is the fact that

like, yes, I'll change some things.

I'm not going to change a whole lot.

Um, because what works for me works for me.

So, um, I am trying to grow my hair back out.

I hate it though at this stage because it's very short and weird.

Um, I, I like to either be like very bald.

Or have hair and it's, it's going to be in this in between for a long ass

time, but I am going back to blonde and that's cause that's my signature.

And, um, my nails will probably get longer and my stuff will probably,

hopefully continue to get a little tighter because a bitch has been in the

gym and I want you guys to see the gains that my ass cheeks have made, um, all

Can you crack a walnut between them booty cheeks?

I'm so close.

I'm so close.

I feel like I could at least pop like, I don't know, like a ramen.

I don't remember where I heard this.

This was like years ago though so I don't even know how to like

go back and try to find it again.

This guy's goal for working out was to, he wanted to like crack

a watermelon between his knees.

Oh wait, was that on the internet?

He, like, so he was doing this and, like, the goal was to make a video, like, a

documentary of his process to do this.

So, like, I'm sure it was all over many places.

But he was saying how, like, his wife was so annoyed with him because, like, he

was trying to have this, and he wanted to, like, have this party where, like,

he would come out and invite everybody and then, like, the centerpiece of

the party would be, like, crushing the watermelon between his knees.

I feel like you should have one of those with your booty cheeks and

a walnut or like okay a walnut I think is also hard and too small

to really like draw attention to

I also don't know that I want a walnut in between my

but

you know what you could put there that I feel like would really put on a show?

It'd be a performance.

Um, you know, like the air pouches that come in Amazon

yeah, that's totally

but that, but then also fill it with like confetti or glitter or something.

So it's like, and then

oh my god.

just covered in your booty cheek confetti.

I love this.

And I'd be like, you're

And you're like, Happy 4th of July!

That is an America I can get behind, that I can celebrate.

I really would.

Red, white, and blue confetti,

it would be like both, both blasphemous and somehow very on brand for

That's the America I want to live in.

I swear, yeah, like be free to do those kind of things.

But, um, yeah, I have been in, in like this very intentional break that we've

been taking busting my ass in the gym consistently going like four days a week.

Since

late

Damn, that's like, that is commitment and consistency, too.

Yeah.

I mean, it's also, it's, it's really like helping to hold my

mental health by a thread too.

Somewhere in late fall heading into winter, things were so disruptive.

And I was just like, no more of this, no more of these distractions.

We're going to go back into the mode of like, I am the top priority

of my life, uh, me and my kids.

And that's kind of the zone that's like, that's been part

of the zone that I've been in.

I didn't want to like panic in July and be like, Oh, I hate my body all summer.

I didn't want to do that.

I wanted to start early and just build like a good foundation.

So I didn't even worry about like the food aspect really until like

recently where I'm like, okay, I feel like I've got the workout part down.

Now I can start to tackle some of the nutrition, which is I know pretty key.

Yeah, it's been really good.

I'm glad that you're doing what you need to be doing.

I, it's been a little while since we last spoke.

I think our last episode we were like prepping for Christmas.

It was around Christmas time.

How have, it sounds like you've been focusing on you.

So lots of ups in our time away in this little hiatus.

How, how have you, it sounds like you found healing through self care of

consistency at the gym, focusing on yourself, doing what you need to be doing.

How has this time treated you?

How are you feeling?

I feel a lot better than I did.

Um, even just a couple of weeks ago.

Um, I think every week is a little bit better in terms of things, but, um,

like I said, I think I was just, um, I knew over the summer that I didn't feel

like feeling anything over the summer.

that's fair.

A

I didn't want to.

I knew, um, that eventually I would have to, like, sit in, in, like,

You know, grapple with some things.

And so, um, I was very intentional about like setting some goals

for myself before the new year.

Um, I didn't want to be beholden to the new year.

I think it was truthfully like, we're going into shadow

season, shadow work season.

We're going into winter.

It's really time for you to do some self examination.

Really is not about the new year for me.

Um, Because I've never been like a, Oh, this is the, this is the time where I'm

gonna like commit to, I don't really care.

It was more like the timing was just right for me.

And so I've found a lot of healing in setting some goals for myself

and being consistent enough to see a lot of them through.

So part of that has been going to the gym, um, going to bed earlier.

Like much earlier, I'm writing more.

I released my website, which I love so much.

And I started writing often.

One of the, one of the things I recently wrote, which you should all

go read, okay, crystal the mystic.

com slash musings anyway, is, um, how I've showed up for myself,

you know, in the last few months.

And it's been, it's been largely like accountability and consistency.

So I feel like I am starting to see the fruits of that labor with some of it.

And that makes me really happy because it has been

really healing for me to like, set goals and meet them, you know.

Without the goals being like things that I'm setting myself up for failure,

like it's me being very reasonable.

It's not me saying like, like with the working out, for example, and that's just

one of the things, but, um, I'm not like saying, Oh, I'm going to go to the gym

because I want to lose weight for summer.

I'm never going to be a skinny girl.

I am always going to be a little thick.

Um, I am always going to be a little chorizo and I am cool with that.

Um, but I also, I do want.

To be stronger.

I do want to be more toned.

I do want to be able to, um, you know, have a little bit

more booty cheek in my jeans.

I want to be able to be proud of, of like, of where my body is.

Um, and it's also for, for like the health reasons.

Like my mom has a very bad osteoporosis.

It's always complicated her Parkinson's diagnosis.

So I'm like those things, I'm 40, like I have to watch out

for those things right now.

I think it helps me a lot with some of the symptoms of the very real

perimenopause that I'm in right now.

And so I'm like, these are the things you're going to

do to take care of yourself.

Move your body every day.

That was the goal.

It wasn't even to go in there and fucking blast four days

a week of strength training.

It was move your body a little bit every day.

And so it's like, this is the best case scenario.

And that's been really healing for me because I'm like, this is not

an easy thing for you to commit to, but you get to the gym and you

go, you show up and do the work.

And, um, as long as I get there, I do it.

And I, I've been like, I've been very healed by that.

Like, I love that for me.

Um, and not, not even for like the, not just for the fact that,

um, my butt is looking great in a pair of jeans right now.

That is a plus.

bit, a, a,

yeah, that's,

You're welcome everyone.

Um, but, um, you know, but just because I'm like, damn girl,

you are committed to yourself.

And I love that for you.

And how long have you spent telling yourself?

That you, you can't commit to yourself.

That you, like, isn't that the narrative, right?

That you're like, I can't do this.

I can't commit to this.

I'm not gonna see this through.

I'm gonna fail at it.

Why try?

I, I, I mean, I'm speaking for me, but I've, I, I know that

we are similar in that sense.

So what a beautiful way to tell yourself, like, no, bitch, you're wrong.

I do got this.

I can do this.

Yeah.

And it's, and it has to be in your, in, on your terms and it has to be

bite sized enough, and it has to be.

It has to work for you.

It can't be like, um, it can't be the way someone else does it.

I, you know, it, like, it can't, it cannot be, it has to be just like, what

is in my power to do in that moment?

And I'm okay.

That's why I was like, move your body every day.

Instead of like, you're going to go, you're going to do.

Leg day this day, you're gonna do upper body this day.

Like, I'm not doing all that, although Laura, my trainer, she's amazing.

She, um, does that for me.

Um, and I, and I get amazing workouts from her and they work, but it's been

just like move, even if you wiggle, even if you, like, if you can't get to the

gym today and she'll tell me this all the time, like, do your mobility stretches.

If you can't get to the gym today, she'll be like, if

there's anything that you can do.

You know, like do, do the exercises for your hip because

your hip is tight and it'll help.

Like those things mean a lot to me.

And I think like working with the right person has been really

helpful and not overwhelming myself by like the heaviness of my goal.

keeping it a little bit more open ended.

And so now like the goal of like, Hey, increase your protein intake doesn't seem

as daunting because I'm already doing something that I once found very hard.

So it's, it is like very reassuring, you know, that like we can do the

things that are, um, that are tough.

And it's like that very, like, you know, kind of kind of cheesy, but

also correct phrase of like, it could be one day or this could be the day

Yeah.

I do love

like a better habit.

I always, I always see.

Or not always, but I see people asking trainers and like fit fluencer types a

lot that are like, what's the best, you know, cardio to strength breakdowns?

And like, what's the best kind of workout?

What am I supposed to do?

Like, tell me exactly, like, what's the diagnosis or like the,

what am I supposed to do here?

And the best ones who are always like the best exercise plan for

you is the one you're going to do.

Like it doesn't matter what it is.

It's the one that you're going to do.

You could have set out and be like, I'm going to do 20 minutes of this

and I'm going to lift this many times and I'm going to like do this much

cardio and this much, this much.

But like, if you're not going to stick to it, if you're not going

to do it, if it doesn't feel good.

And I think if you're coming at it in a place of like, I need to lose weight

and a place of like self loathing, self hatred and wanting to change

yourself out of negativity, like you're nobody's going to stick to that.

And it's not going to feel good.

So I love that you're coming out at a place of

Cause it just feels like another space to beat yourself up

And I love that you're like, I'm coming to this, the way you talk

about coming into it, coming to this goal with like openness of just like,

this is like, I'm exploring here.

Like I'm experimenting.

I'm going to see where we can go with this and like, see how this feels.

That's I needed to hear that.

Like a new relationship, um, it's in that way.

You know what I mean?

Like that, like I am truly trying to cultivate a relationship with and we've

talked about like reparenting before and reparenting doesn't always mean

like, Oh baby, what you need, do you need to treat, do you need to smack?

Yes, I do need a snack and I would like a treat, but also it means like,

girl, you need to go to bed earlier.

What the, why are you at, why are you looking at TikTok at like midnight?

Go to bed or like, Hey, your back hurts because your hips are weak or vice versa.

Like you need to do some mobility around like your, your joints

because you are not a spring chick.

Like, just like kind of like giving yourself a little bit of hard truths,

but being like, but it's okay.

Let's start slow and let's fix it.

Kind of thing.

And it's, and it's not just with the gym.

I feel like that I've been doing that with, but, but with the writing and with

the job search and all of those things, just being very cognizant of like,

everything doesn't happen all at once.

It happens with the steadiness and the

so hard to apply that to yourself.

Like I'm thinking like with a kid, right?

Like my kindergartner is like sounding out those three letter words.

Like he's got it down.

He like knows those sounds.

He's putting them together.

And like, I'm not going to then throw a chapter book at him and be like,

okay, well then like fucking read this.

Like, you, you think you're such a hotshot, you, you really

want to do this reading thing?

Okay, then fucking read, read this chapter book.

There's no pictures.

There's really big words.

Fucking read it.

Oh, you can't do that?

All right.

Well, then I guess you failed.

But like, we're going to do the same thing to ourself at the gym that it's

like, okay, you think you're so good with your little squat right there?

Now run this fucking marathon.

Like, no.

But, like, that's the way we treat ourselves with goals and it's so stupid

because you'd never do that to a child.

never.

Yeah.

that's the beauty of like that reparenting aspect.

This is a very long way of saying this is how I've been

finding healing, but like, yeah.

And during this like break, this is definitely how I've been finding the

healing and also like other things too, like setting very hard boundaries when

I don't want to, that's been a thing.

Cutting communication with people who don't deserve to have

access to me has been a thing.

Stuff like that.

That's, that's big stuff.

Yeah.

That's like your, I like that you're just like, oh, you know, just

like some casual, you know, life changing work that it's taken 40

years to get myself together to do.

Those are huge things.

I'm proud of you.

And I hope you are proud of yourself.

friend.

Tell me about you, though.

What has been, you have been breaking as well.

And what has been like hitting you in the gut lately in terms

of like, damn, I'm doing it.

Like what, what has been healing you and filling your cup these days?

Um, I wish that I came in here with like a good, like, oh my gosh,

like, I've been so consistent.

I have been in such a funk for a while now.

Yeah, I mean, and I just, like, part of me, it's so easy for me to beat up

myself and be like, I really wasted this.

Hiatus, the season break because I didn't do anything.

I feel like I've been in this like, I've been reading people call it

like the ADHD funk that you're just like everything feels really hard.

There's no motivation.

You just like I've been giving myself a wallow time lately

that Jimmy I'll be like,

I love that.

like, I just I just need to go wallow for a little bit.

And I don't even know what I'm wallowing about.

Like everything and nothing at the same time.

Everything feels heavy and hard.

Yeah.

up over it.

As you talk, I'm like, I have not been working out, I don't

think I've eaten a vegetable, or like, I have not been fueling,

Uh, that is okay.

I mean, I'm really at the point that I was like, some days the only thing I eat

is like, the crust from my kids, grilled cheese sandwiches, and a protein shake,

and I'm like, that's not gonna do, like, there has been very limited self care.

I don't know even the idea of like getting back to that point

of self care feels overwhelming

Yeah.

in and I'm also like what a stupid thing to say after you just got

back from a 10 day vacation like but

Yeah.

Attending vacation with three kids is not,

in a different location yes I yeah well you know there's time

in the pool time in the sun

of course, it's not to say without it's good moments, but it also is a lot too,

yeah but there have been like little spots I joined a writing workshop . I went

into it with very minimal expectations.

It's at a local high school and I was like, Oh my gosh, it's gonna

be me and like all these retirees.

And.

a little bit of that but then also there's you know moms whose kids went off

to college or are now in high school and they're able to find time to do their own

thing and it's only an hour and a half and it's once a week in the evening it is the

time that I sit down and actually write something which was the whole desire of

It's you showing up for yourself.

I just I need a structured time with like a prompt like tell me

what to write and then I'll have these 30 45 minutes to write.

And it's felt really good, like, every time I go, I'm like, oh, that feels

really good, I'm so glad I did that.

And there's some things that I've written that I'm like, oh, I

really want to work on that more.

I'm really proud of that, I love this idea, it's really fun, and then, oh

my god, last night, the prompt, I was like Like, it was basically like word

vomit and he's like, do you, the teacher was like, do you want to read it?

And I was like, no, I need to share this with my therapist.

This is not safe.

Like, this is not,

be like that sometimes, but

consumption of the class.

I think you're going to like be calling authorities on me if I read this out loud.

Um, but I don't know, that was like definitely one of the highlights of

this break of just taking this time to show up in that way, a different

I love being

Yes, I recommend it to everybody.

If you could find, like,

a high school adult continuing ed class, it's actually really cool.

I looked online at Howard Community College.

I didn't see any that were appropriate for me because they had ones that

were like writing your memoir.

And I was like, all right, chill.

Um, but I did find some online workshops, specifically geared towards

black women and, uh, and like, One that was, is perfect for me because

it's about addressing grief in your writing and doing it in a way where

like, it's helping you process it, not just like you bitching off the wall.

And that's the one that I really, really want to sign up for because I think that

unfortunately what I'm really, really good at writing about is stuff that kind

of sucks, but, um, I like, you know, to write about it in a constructive way,

but I love that you, I feel like that's another very vulnerable thing to do.

And I, I keep seeing you enter these vulnerable spaces with an

open heart and just like, this is going to be good for me.

But you're like a little, like, you know, there's some intrepidation or whatever,

but also at the same time, like you always come out on the other side of it.

Like, I'm really fucking glad I did that.

And like, I just think it's such a beautiful way.

To show up for yourself and not limit yourself in, in like

what you are capable of doing,

Yeah.

My goal for this year was to pretty much always be taking a class of

some sort and learning something new.

And like, medicinally.

Because I've talked about this before, but like, in the past, I had

made my world, my universe and the things I would do so small out of fear

and being seen, if you don't speak, they'll never know if you fuck up.

And like, if you don't try, then you're never going to get

in trouble for doing it wrong.

So like, just play it safe, don't do anything, and just like,

Oh, wow.

Why are you so violent?

Um, in terms of calling me out too, but, but yeah,

from Jurassic Park that you're like, don't move, the dinosaurs

can only see you if you're moving.

If you just stay still and don't breathe, you'll be safe.

And I think I like, I just really took that to heart and so earlier, right

like at the beginning of January, I took a sewing class, which was very fun

and like no stakes because who gives a shit if you like do it wrong, right?

But it was really fun to like learn something new.

Um, I had signed up for a tennis clinic to learn how to play tennis and this

is something I've wanted to do for a very long time because I'm, you know

what, Crystal, I'm going to ask you.

As somebody who knows me well, why do you think that tennis would appeal to me

as sport I would choose to foray into?

Girl, because you love you a bougie booge.

And I love it.

I love it too.

And so I don't, there ain't

those skirts, it's just The

The fashion, the aesthetic is your aesthetic all the

Those like little pleated skirts when they're

pleated on the butt so it makes your butt look bigger.

And like, the skirts have pockets for the little ball and

like, yes, it is like a bougie

You would be like, let me get you together.

Um, I, I'm not really here to backhand serve, but what I will do is tell you that

perhaps this color will look great on you.

Like I can, you would be, you would play, but you would also be like,

girl, is I'm also here to serve you.

Absolutely.

Yes.

I like that it was that obvious of why.

Um, so I signed up for that.

And I'm like, I don't know that I need to be spending money.

It is like painfully expensive just to be alive and full

it is so

worse and worse every day.

These kids keep

I don't, like, I legit don't know how I am making it.

Actually, that's a lie.

I do.

My parents are helping me.

And I'm, I'm going to say that here publicly because even though I have a

lot of shame around it, A LOT of shame around it, um, But in some ways I feel

like people shouldn't have shame if that's what's happening, because have we

fucking looked out at the world right now?

Um, I don't live an extravagant life.

I drive a 2011 Nissan Rogue.

But that Rogue, the Rogue is a great car.

I used to have a

the rope is roping and the rope is, is a, is a steady constant in my

gonna take you

It is, she gonna take me far and she gonna be reliable.

She gonna show up on time and she's gonna do what she does.

Okay.

She gonna keep me warm and she's gonna keep me cool.

And somehow or another, the aux cord still

my Rogue, drove my Rogue until I had a third kid and needed a third row, so.

I'm telling you, thank God I can't have no mo.

But my parents helped me as much as they can.

Um, and I'm really, really grateful for their help despite all of

the complications and stuff that come with it because it's fucking

hard out here to, um, live.

And I don't, I don't know.

Like, again, I just had my second runoff a couple of weeks back of, uh, in past

year and, um, I can't wait to get a job again but until I do you know, throwing

me a little change here and there.

And I'm like, very grateful for that because it is expensive.

But, I think it's important to like have something that you really still can look

forward to in some kind of way, to take your mind off of the fact that everything

kind of sucks and it's hard right now in

Yes, oh my gosh, we should do a whole episode on this because the other thing

I was thinking about is like, oh my God, there was this writing workshop that I

really wanted to try and it was super expensive and like all these things.

I really want to do this tennis thing but I had emailed the adult

program coordinator at my library.

And she was like, we could set up a writing group, like, you know, we're

not going to be able to, like, do a lot of programming around it, but we

could absolutely, , block off a time, promote it, and, like, people can come

and, yeah, of course it'll be free.

I love that there's, , people in the community Because we are lacking in

those third spaces and people have talked about it all the time that we

don't have these third spaces that you could just go and exist and not have

to buy things like I think a cafe is probably the closest you're going to

come to that these days, but like even that, you know, I go to this cafe often

and I'm spending 4 for a cup of coffee and I feel bad that I'm only spending 4

for like a cup of like hot black coffee because I'm like, I don't want to spend

12 on like this fancy thing in a roll.

And like, And you're still not even connecting with people because everybody's

on their laptops, they're working, and I'm not begrudging anybody for sitting

there on their laptops and working, right?

Like, people need to have somewhere to go work and feel good about it, but we don't

have the space to just exist for free.

I so wish that we had more of those third spaces.

It's not just about the doing of whatever you're doing.

It is so much about the connecting part.

And I feel like part of, part of one of our issues is, you know, culturally

right now is like how desperate we are to connect, even though many

people are like, no, that's not it.

I hate people.

I don't want to be around them.

But like, also like, yeah, the part of the issue is that we are

desperate to connect with one another.

In

then when you do find yourself, or your way into an environment, right?

Like, you find your way into a space, and maybe it's an exercise class.

Maybe it's a specific cafe.

Maybe it's a co working space.

First of all, none of those are free.

So you're already deciding the people that you're going to spend time with there is

going to be the people that can afford it or have somebody to bankroll it for them.

And we're going to silo ourselves then even more where you're not just

going to interact with everybody in your community because that's the

shared space for your community.

You're going to be like, oh, this is the kind of people

that go to this coffee shop.

This is the type of people that go to this yoga studio.

And you're not going to get that.

broader experience and be around more people and it just becomes

this like silo and I don't know.

I feel like I'm really lacking for that.

I feel like I'm also There's there's a lack of places that Parents can go

with their kids I feel like even the library can be really stressful sometimes

because yes, the children's room is great and that's beautiful children's

librarians Are a gift I love them

My God.

Yeah,

the dirty looks that I'm going to get from that man in that red MAGA hat as

my kids are, like, squealing looking at the fish tank in the general lobby as

I walk, you know, squealing kids back to the children's room, like, you're

showing me that I'm not welcome here.

That, like, these kids who, whose parents pay taxes that support this,

that, like, we donate, we, like, bring things to the food bank donations,

we are part of this community too, and, like, we're getting these dirty

looks like we're not welcome here.

And it's hard.

I'm, I don't know.

I totally get that.

I totally get that.

wish that, like, like, why can't we just go somewhere and exist there for free?

You should put that on a t shirt.

Why can't we exist for free?

money to leave the house.

I'm reading this book.

One in a millennial, it's very cute.

It's looking back at this woman's millennial experience

and what it was like.

And the way she talks about going to the mall and it's like you could get

dropped off at the mall as like a 12 year old and you spend the whole day there

with like 12 and you're just existing on samples from like Auntie Anne's and

Yup.

And you probably had a slice of pizza and like bought like

a cute pair of earrings at

And you're like, you're sharing that pizza with three friends.

You're all like, taking a bite of it.

You probably paid for it and changed.

You go to like, the little, the natural store where you

have like, that rain stick.

I swear to God, I played with that rain stick so many times.

What was that store?

The discovery store?

Do you know that store?

Discovery Store.

There was like, some other, like, not,

yeah, yeah.

And it's like, even that, there was just more options of places to be then.

I mean, we definitely got dirty looks.

We were like, taking up space in that mall.

But at least there was an opportunity and it was an option that now it's

like, you can't even do any of that.

All the stores are closed.

Get dirty looks if you're anywhere.

know.

Oh my God.

What did I just, I just read it.

Okay.

It was on TikTok and it was about how Starbucks is closing all their Tivana

Aw.

because retail is like, is obviously continuing to die

off as mall culture dies off.

And first of all, I, I have never stepped foot into

I liked that it was an option though.

Right.

But, but like, it's, there's something, um, it's weird because like part of

me is like, yes, death to the chains,

And Starbucks specifically.

Yeah.

Um, seriously, but like there's so, but there's also like some, you know, sadness

because of the, the nostalgia around, uh, here, this is going to be the most old

ass person thing I say, but it's like, Oh, it was a simpler time, but like,

yeah, it, for us anyway, at the time, because we weren't adults and we didn't

have the complications of life quite yet.

Um, they were different.

But yeah, like things were, things were different.

Things felt, it felt so much easier to connect with one another is, is I think.

What we miss.

I miss that.

And it's like, to the point where, um, I like, I, I myself would really like

to create spaces where we have that.

Like it's like always been a dream of mine.

And it's also something that my, my North node in Gemini and the 11th house has

always has, has like pointed at me to do.

And I, and I think it will happen one day, but I always like wanted like a community

space that was like, Donation funded and where people could just like exist and

if you had a workshop you wanted to hold Here's the space for you to hold it if

you had like think like stuff like that Um, I always hope to bring that to life

one day so that there are third spaces

Yeah, I mean, people are.

Do you remember a little while back there was like Dave Ramsey got his ass lit up

because he was like Who are these idiots you are you have no money and you're

paying sixty thousand dollars a year for child care Like what are they doing?

And it's like nobody like that's just how much it costs and he's like You got to

send your kids to free summer camps, sir.

Where are these free summer camps?

Where are these free after school programs?

are like oh

are you talking about dave?

like they're sixty thousand dollars for a couple of kids that's like

a pretty like that's A good deal.

Like if that's after school care, like that, that's what it costs right now.

And even people are like, Oh, like join some mommy and me groups and you can

do like, you know, babysitting swap.

And it's like, even mommy and me groups.

mommy and me group at 1030 a.

m.

on a Tuesday and a

And let me tell you they're, they're also not free.

They're also not free.

Every mommy and me group I've seen lately, even the ones at churches,

rec centers, there is a fee.

There is a registration fee.

Nothing is free.

And yes, can you get a waiver?

Everybody's

Sure, sure, you can get a waiver for it if you make under a certain

amount, and that's dictated by numbers that are based, you know, from years

ago, and it's like, no, this, and I, don't get me wrong, I am very glad

I'm in support that there is funding available to help people who need it.

More people need support.

Let's, like, let's be so fucking for real.

That, like, if you're saying, oh, well, you need to make under 30, 000 a year

for your family of five to get any help.

That leaves that a massive chunk of us.

And this is, I am in this category.

That's, that is where,

I make enough to support some of my life.

And again, I don't live an extravagant life.

I make enough to support some of my life, but barely.

Like barely all of it.

I think that is a like a middle class issue as well.

It's absolutely shrinking into a smaller and smaller, smaller, smaller thing.

It's like you either have, or you don't.

Um, and it's just, it's really unfortunate.

Everything is expensive.

The groceries are out of fucking control.

It really feels like being siphoned off at every channel.

To erase, connecting as a community.

And it is very intentional.

my conspiracy theory ass is like, not only is it to disconnect us, it is to actively

pit people against each other, right?

Because then you have those people in the middle class going, well, why are

the poor people getting all this help?

Like, I need help too.

And to that I'm saying, like, yes, they're not,

We are mad at the wrong

not the enemy.

The people who are getting services are not the enemy.

I am so grateful that there is an option for people who are really down on

their luck, but when you see that, it's like, okay, bring your bank statement.

What about the person who lost their job last week and now they were already living

paycheck to paycheck and they don't have, their bank statement doesn't back that up.

Their tax forms from last year do not back the fact up that they need

a little bit of extra help paying for childcare or camp registrations

because of whatever the situation that they found themselves in this week.

We're not going to be mad at the people who

I'm lucky that again, like I have resources, but this was literally what

my meltdown was about on Instagram about not getting unemployment.

This is, it's not because I am not getting unemployment, by the

way, the unemployment did come

Thank God.

My, I got very frustrated last week.

Not for myself again, because , I am lucky that, even though I have lost my

job, I am more resourced than, than many.

That's a blessing for me.

There are a lot of people who fucking need that.

You're already paycheck to paycheck, you're already robbing Peter

to pay Paul, you lose your job.

And unemployment has always taken a little bit of time, but since

the pandemic, it's been even worse.

It took three weeks for my first check from unemployment to come in three,

almost four weeks for it to come in.

The system is clunky.

The two or three systems that you have to do here in the state of

Maryland anyway, the system is clunky.

It is inefficient.

It is poorly designed.

It is laid out like a nightmare.

And it is unclear when and what and how.

The whole nine yards.

Everything that could be wonky about a website.

It's, it's there.

It's hard to get people on the phone.

And when I did finally get someone on the phone to help me understand, they expect

you to look in places for information that are not clearly labeled or laid out.

Like it is a UI UX designers nightmare or web designers nightmare.

Not about a website looking pretty.

It's literally about, can the intended audience use this fucking website?

I have a master's degree in publications design in web and print.

Okay.

And I never really proudly declare that, but I will do it here today

to say that I know what the fuck I'm doing navigating a website.

And I can barely navigate this shit sometimes.

And it is by design that you have trouble getting people on the phone.

It's by design that you have like a million layers to go through before

you get your first claim approved.

And it is, it is by design to get you to give up so that you stop asking for help.

I feel like if you listen to this podcast, you already know that.

But like that's one of many things, that we have to deal with as a society

that are purposefully designed that way.

And it just sent me into a tiz last week, not for myself, but because I

know that there are thousands of people who need it so bad and can't get it.

And then they're on the other side of the fence.

There are thousands of other people that are like, these people want

to just sit at home all day, not looking for work and playing systems.

Are you fucking for real?

Like people have no idea.

How difficult it is.

And mind you, unemployment benefits are benefits that you

That's your money!

It's your own money!

And if you have been blessed enough to never been let go from a position or

laid off from a job, that's wonderful.

Thank you so much for contributing to the system, but we all contribute

to the fucking system So I'm not gonna feel bad about filing the

claim and neither should you if it ever happens to be the case, right?

People are not like lazy the way yes There are some people out there who

lazy but like this is not this is not the hill You know what I mean?

This is not the hill.

And it just killed me.

And I just started to get so angry and cry out of frustration because

it was just me as a black woman.

In this country, witnessing another area that is so difficult.

It's like, I'm not saying unemployment is difficult to navigate because I am

a black woman, but I, as a black woman, know all of the ways that it's difficult

to navigate things in this country.

And it's like, Oh, another, and another one and another one and another one.

And I said to the woman on the phone, People probably get evicted

waiting for this shit to come in.

And she said, ma'am, it happens all the time, all the time, all the time.

How are, like, and how are we okay with this?

Not we, obviously we are not okay with this, but also like, societally,

how the fuck are we okay with this?

How are we okay with?

Cause we're all where nobody's okay with it.

By design.

We're all so tired from the many systems that we have in place that

are designed to wear us out as people.

And this is, this is like everything y'all, this is like education, it's

unemployment, it's healthcare, it's labor.

It is almost everything that is institutional.

In this country is designed to wear you the fuck out so that you stop fighting.

I know again, this is a very privileged take to say, but if there

is a way that you can be intentional about how you care for yourself.

And care for each other.

This is why community care matters so very much.

And why it's so important to, to have people in your corner, people

in your community and that we care for each other because of this stuff.

And so like finding the pockets of joy, there's couple of things that like, you

know, can't be stripped from people.

Um, and sometimes it feels like they get very close, but keeping those pockets

of joy open to yourself and to others is like the medicine that we absolutely need

and deserve when we get frustrated with these systems and institutions as well.

Yeah.

You know, it is the getting together with friends to like, I don't know,

learn how to sew, because you need that.

You need to be able to be in close connectivity with other people.

Like I went to this, oh my God, I went with, um, a lovely, lovely

friend of mine from high school to this Reiki circle and hang session.

And it was so amazing.

It was, um, with Blair at Lone Wolf district.

I will totally tag her.

Um, but it was the best because it was literally a beautiful Reiki circle

and meditation and then we went into like the cafe to have a smoothie

and play cards against humanity.

And it was like 25 bucks, which is not a lot in this area for something energy work

based, but, it was such a fucking vibe.

It was such a vibe to like go in this room and amongst these strangers,

like crack your soul open and cry and heal and do all of those things

and share and have that intimacy.

Missy was strangers as humans and then literally go and cackle.

It was the epitome of like, you can't steal my joy.

And it was just so lovely.

And, um, I have always wanted to do events like that.

And it really helped to light a fire under like this, like

your places in community in me.

Um, and I just love that.

And I hope that we have more things that are like low cost or free like that, like

just popping up everywhere, you know,

I was just thinking as you were saying this, I was like, man, I wish there was

something like that where like a bunch of different energy workers or like people

could come together and like even just donate their time and it could be free

and like everybody could get together.

And then I'm like, okay, yeah, bitch, like, why don't you do that?

Right?

Right.

it's literally spirit going, Hey, you can totally make that happen.

Let me know when you're ready to begin.

And I'm like,

Well, but I want somebody to do it for me.

I want somebody else to do it and I just want to show up but maybe I don't need to

be a passenger princess on my own healing.

That should be, if that's not a fucking tagline, don't be a passenger

princess on your own healing journey.

But I want, but

want to survive because

I'm

I am tired.

I think that's what it is.

I'm glad we took our break because I was tired.

I think that this also nourishes me differently.

Differently than like just laying in bed wallowing.

And the wallow is important.

I will never begrudge a wallow.

A wallow is so good.

It is so necessary.

But also you got to get up and nurture a little bit and I think that's

what I've been not doing for myself enough over the last few months.

So I'm very glad to be back here with you.

I'm so glad you're in this space with me.

I know I'm gonna, I'm gonna open myself up to allow myself to be

inspired by you and your like very healthy self love moment here.

I'm gonna be like, all right, I'm gonna try to get myself to move a little bit and

eat more than like a protein shake and.

Some crusts.

Even if you're like, you know, Even if like you're you have a protein shake, but

like also and I used to really like hard boiled eggs But like now they get on my

fucking nerves, like a fruit salad or something like something extra not even

like anything but like a really like a beautiful little fruit salad or like

maybe A bagel and a schmear like with

I want all

shake or whatever.

Yeah.

Like shit, all of it.

Oh my God.

Just like starting your day.

Like I really deserve to be nourished right now because I'm accomplishing a lot

today and you are, you're doing so much.

Even just the ritual of being like, I know I got all this shit to do today, but at

least let me put some gas in the tank.

You know, and it's like, if, even if you have like five minutes and all

you have is five minutes and you want to move your body, like, even if you

were just to put on your girl Taylor and shake your rump for a moment,

Like, we know that I am a little spoiled sometimes.

Every morning, my four shots of espresso and protein shake

are brought to me in bed.

And Jimmy comes in and he's playing a different Taylor Swift song and he

calls it, My Taylor Swift Coffee Wake Up, which is like, I'm very spoiled.

Uh,

he's adorable.

was always different songs.

Today was Cruel Summer.

I really enjoyed that.

Um, sometimes it's like Shake It Off.

Sometimes it's a sad one, which I'm like, Oh, are we okay this morning?

Um, but yes, it was very good.

But when we were on vacation, since I didn't have my like espresso maker, my

protein shakes and everything, he would go every morning and get his, he's like

very particular about his coffee, which is why we have the espresso setup we do.

I don't really care like I'll drink gas station coffee just as happily as

like anything else, but whatever Um, he went to this little cafe Near the house

that we were staying at on vacation and they had I need to talk about this.

It was so good They would take like a ciabatta roll, but like a crispy outside

one like It almost felt like a second day So it was like real crunchy on the

outside and they would cut it in half So like i'm showing you it was like

maybe like You two inches thick, right?

So they'd

cut it in half.

So now it was like one inch thick, but like a lot of like crispiness.

And then they would put a very thin layer of cream cheese, then avocado.

So it was avocado toast with cream cheese, which at first I was like,

I don't know how I feel about this.

And then very thinly sliced red onion, very thinly sliced though.

So like you weren't getting like a huge mouthful.

It was just like A frisson of red onion, and then you'd have your

everything but the bagel seasoning.

Delicious.

Um, some cherry tomatoes, some sprouts.

It was so good.

That sounds so healthy.

I'm, I'm mad I immediately went, that would be so good with some bacon on it.

I wish that there was bacon on it, I'm not going to lie, or like a fried egg.

that sounds so beautiful.

That sounds so lovely.

There, I don't know what it is, but there's something about

like a really well prepared

When the first time he brought it, I was like, giving it the stink eye,

it was like cream cheese and avocado.

I don't know how I feel about this.

This is very strange.

a lot of softness in

yes, but you do have like the crispiness of that red onion,

The crunch.

and you have the crunch of the bread, and the freshness of that cherry tomato.

I just want everyone to go try making their

That sounds amazing.

That literally makes me excited for breakfast tomorrow morning

because I bought this Dave's killer bread specifically, or no,

the bagel specifically because it's pretty high in protein.

And I also got some everything, but the bagel smoked salmon from

Trader Joe's, um, and it was bomb.

It's going to be bomb in my head.

It was bomb.

Like the

be careful with that everything with the bagel seasoning,

because I did fail a drug screen.

I popped for opiates.

They had, they had me go back to retest.

So just be careful with that.

They had me like, not eat it.

that's still happens.

hmm.

Mm hmm.

Like the, okay, the doctor, they do it like twice a year

because of the, my Vyvanse.

I have to like, show that I'm actually taking it.

So they need to like, see that it's in your bloodstream or like, in your

urine stream, I guess, but they, um, they're like, called me and they're

like, so like really weird, like mishap.

Have you had like a poppy seed bagel or anything?

You look like the kind of girl who eats a lot of poppy seed bagels.

not going to lie, girl.

They got you pegged.

Cause

They, I am the kind of girl that eats a lot of poppy seed bagels.

They're not wrong.

I like 11 poppy seed muffin.

I'm not going to say no.

Oh my God.

Those are bomb though.

I haven't had one in a long time, but man, thankfully I only have just this smoked

salmon, but I will not add additional.

Cause I was like, I will put a little bit more on top.

I will not add additional everything, but the bagel seasoning.

Onto

but like, what if a bitch just wants to enjoy a poppy seed

muffin every once in a while?

Yeah.

You gotta have, like, it is 2024.

We haven't figured out a way around

It, it is stupid.

Like, can you please refine this test?

That's what I was like, I can't believe that's a thing still.

Like that's, that's crazy.

Um, what was the other thing I wanted to talk about?

I feel like we still need to talk about country Beyonce.

Fucking love it.

We have so much to talk about.

And then I'm also like, this is also going to come up.

We do need to have part two because there's a lot of like interesting thing,

pop culture things that I feel like have

We've missed so much.

including that, that like whopping, like 78 page document, um, lawsuit

against Diddy that just dropped as well.

yeah.

Okay.

So for the sake of clarity, because we will have just cut out a bunch

of stuff from this where we were just, you know, a little bit gossip.

Um, Um,

Shit.

Listen.

are going to come back with a part two, it's actually going

to be available right now.

So you could just go ahead over and listen to that too.

In our part two, we're going to be talking more about the benefits of taking pauses,

um, how to know when to take a pause.

how to pause, not quit, how to come back from taking breaks without shame.

Uh, so we'll be talking a lot more about that.

So just hop on over to the next episode because it's it's there.

It's right there right now.

We're ready

and we're happy to be back Oh, let's talk a little bit about what we're going to be

doing this season now that we're back in our second season Thank you for sticking

with us through the first Let's see.

We're super lucky, but like we've got some really bomb

so the next episode, as we told you, is already up, though,

so you're listening to that.

Pause, don't quit.

We're going to be talking about intentional breaks and today, via the

magic of recording ahead of time and dropping episodes on Tuesdays now,

which you'll know because it's probably Tuesday when you're listening to

this, um, today's the Spring Equinox, so we'll be talking more about that.

We talk to this incredible woman who I love about moving

your roots, how to leave the U.

S., her own story about picking up and leaving, so make sure to tune in for that.

We're going to be talking about people pleasing and how not to

do it anymore, how to have tough conversations, telling your story,

getting uncomfortable, just in general.

to find your way back to yourself.

I think, I think that's kind of the theme of the next several weeks though.

It's, it's the theme for sure.

I think we're, we're trying to do really, make things very intentional

and aligned with the seasons.

I think that just makes a lot of sense for us as creatures.

And we love these topics because what we really want for us and

for you is for it to plant seeds.

That will grow into something very fruitful for you in your life.

Um, and so that's why we're exploring like some of these topics at this time.

Yeah,

We want to just cover them so that you plant seeds, you carry it with you over

into the spring, into the summer and have something really beautiful to harvest

come fall and something really lovely to reflect on at this time next year.

So, um, I think it feels, it feels very aligned for us.

And we hope it feels very aligned for you.

And we can't wait to dive into some of this stuff because it's

just going to be more goodness,

So if you,

more goodness, same rambling, but with more goodness.

twice as much goodness, same great rambling.

Yeah, I like that.

Um, so stick around.

Thank you for sticking with us through the first season as we

were figuring it out on the go.

Thank you for sticking with us through the break.

You.

should definitely be joining in on the Patreon.

Crystal's gonna sneeze.

Oh, she did it away from her.

She muted herself, so now I just sound like an idiot, but she just had the most

Surprise bitches.

Um, we, we're gonna be having some really great stuff.

I'm really, really excited about what we have going on for this season.

There's gonna be some lives, some conversations.

Um, I think we're gonna also be getting just a little realer this season.

I think that's, I think that's sort of where we're at and what we're ready for.

So,

We invite you to get real with us too.

here we are.

Yes.

Oh, and Crystal has all new places you can contact her.

So girlfriend, please tell us where we can find you.

Oh my gosh.

Please come visit me, um, on Instagram.

Crystal the mystic.

Or Chris

it out.

C R Y S T H E.

Mystic!

Okay?

Mystic.

Um, on

because you're a big fan of Mystic, Connecticut, right?

uh, clearly, um, go there all the time.

Duh.

Um, and my website now is up and I love it so much.

Please come see me there.

There's a lot of, um, musings available.

You can read about my, um, Elevator shame dream.

That's my stress dream that happens that I have it like once a month.

It's recurring various elevators that I'm stressed out in You can read about

um Some of the, the thoughts I've had about existing in the liminal space,

um, especially around grief, but just addressing some things deeper over there.

Um, and it's, and it's going to be a really beautiful place to catch some of

my writing if you ever want to see it.

And that is at crystalthemystic.

com.

And Let us know also like in our inbox at healing happy hour pod like on

instagram Let us know like what you were up to How you have been things

that you might want to cover Feedback.

We still want to hear your juicy neighborhood tales.

Y'all haven't sent us a damn thing.

Our inbox is dry And we want some of that piping hot tea We mean that

and we're not letting up on that.

Um, but we love just send us something to make us laugh We

love when we hear from people

Um, but yes, you can also find us on our website, which is HealingHappyHourPod.

com.

Sign up for emails there.

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You'll get, you'll get us everywhere.

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We'll be just shooting the shit with you there too.

So stay in touch and just don't hang up now.

Just go over to the next episode because it's going to be up.

And we love you and