Daughter,Son, Father, Mother - Realtionship

I'm calling for all fathers, mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and everybody who Identifies as a guardian.

DId I get it right about to parenting ?

Also: this episode is highly interesting for people without kids (like myself) because you are a daughter or a son as well :D

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A.

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Unknown: 00:00:07

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well.

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If you're not doing well, I hope I can bring love and joy,

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resolution, peace into your life. If you haven't yet,

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subscribe to this podcast. And if you have, thank you so much,

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it means so much to know that you are a listener who keeps

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coming back to listen to my podcast. And if you really enjoy

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it, maybe leave me a review on Apple podcast. Five stars would

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be sweet. Or a review. Today I want to talk about parenting.

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Parenting a row is talking about parenting while does she have

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children? No, she doesn't have children. So why the EFF? Does

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she think she can talk about parenting? Well, well, well, my

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dear listeners, I'm a daughter. And I also happen to have

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empathy. So I love to put myself into other people's shoes. I

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realized something profoundly today, I realized that as a

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parent, you do your very best at all times. And we all know that

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we don't succeed at all times. But still, we're doing our best.

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Right? We don't wake up in the morning and say to ourselves,

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today I'm going to be a shitty person. Today I'm going to be a

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shitty parent know, when something slips when something

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doesn't go the way it should be going. It is in the moment, it

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is impulsively it's an accident, it is not meant to be and this

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is okay, you are forgiven. Kids are not being born with a

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manual, right? You can look into astrology, you can visit

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astrologers and find out as much as you want about your baby and

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where it was born, when it was born. And what it's going to

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grow up to be like when you look into the stars. But chances are

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the environment is going to influence the baby and the

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outside world society. Things that are totally out of our

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control, and the baby will grow into what it wants to grow. And

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what I realized today is that when we do our very best when

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we're parenting when we help a little human being to grow into

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a healthy, responsible member of society. It must be very

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painful. When all of a sudden that child that teenager, that

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young adult decides to do something that you reject it

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with all your mighty emotional and mental force. You rejected

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that one thing that your child wants to engage in, and now your

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child is engaging into it. And it is scary. It is scary because

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you're worried that your baby is gonna get hurt. You're worried

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that your baby is not going to get acceptance from society,

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that your baby is not going to be long that your baby is going

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to struggle. Now look at the vaccine. Look at the parents who

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got the vaccine and the children who decide not to get a vaccine.

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They must be so worried and scared because for themselves

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it's very clear what is best. And why is it different for our

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own child, the child that we fed we shelter we closed we put all

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our lovin why? Why is that child doing something so erratic and

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different? Same goes if you look at tattoos I'm the only person

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in my family who has tattoos. And it must have been extremely

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weird for my family to find out. And it was like, I only know my

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side, I know my side, because that's the perspective I had, I

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got those tattoos, I had my reasons, and I enjoy them every

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day. And when I received the reaction from my parents, I was

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I felt a little bit rejected, although I know, when they

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reacted, they did it in a very loving way. And they wanted to

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understand and they wanted to ask me questions, and we had

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discussions, like, very friendly conversations about it. And it

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was just very lovely. But today, I realized it must have been so

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scary and weird, scary is maybe a little bit too extreme, but

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weird for them to see what I was doing with my body. Same goes

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with academics, you and your husband, you're very clear that

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your bankers, your intellectuals, your doctors,

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maybe your lawyers, and your child decides to become a

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musician. Your child is an artist, and wants to express him

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or herself. very artistically. Now, for some parents, this is

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refreshing, this is awesome. Like this is the best addition

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to our life that we can imagine. Because now we we got it all. We

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got the academics and we got the artistic side and our family.

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But for a lot of parents and grandparents, it is so

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uncomfortable to see that you suck at math that you don't care

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about history, that all you care about, is socializing, and arts.

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You love music, you love painting, you love being messy.

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You love expressing yourself in a very extravagant way. And if

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that child now feels shit, I can't belong to my family. I

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feel rejected if I pursue my passion, my true calling. That's

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a very, very painful realization, reality to sit in

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for that chat. But what I realized today, for those

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parents, it's also very scary to see their child go off into a

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new direction, because they don't know it is uncertainty.

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The tide is being a pioneer. And you have to let it walk off. And

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you don't know if it's going to make it or not. This is scary. I

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get it. I understand it. And the other day, I had a conversation

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with my partner and I said, Well, my child is going to

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become this and that and learn all these language and languages

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and is going to be passionate about traveling. I can't have a

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child who doesn't like traveling, because that's my

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passion. And we laughed so hard because at the same time, I

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realized no, this is not how it goes. The child enters the world

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as a complete new creation and being with its own thoughts and

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desires. And we as parents, we have to nurture it, she'll

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shelter it and give it whatever it needs, give it guidance and

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also encourage the path that it wants to be on. As soon as we

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give it the impression that it is not okay to be gay. It is not

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okay to be overly excited about Vanguard and, Ludovico I know

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the and Mozart and Beethoven. This is just leisure time. You

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cannot make a profession out of it. But when you do and saying

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those things, feeling those things, is cutting your child

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off from unconditional love and twisting it into conditional

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love. And this is when children start acting out because they

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feel on a very subtle level. The They're being excluded, that

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they're not

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made to feel enough that they're not meeting expectations. And

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this is crazy crippling for the growth of a child. But I

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understood today how scary it must be to let your child walk

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off into a direction that you had rejected for your own path a

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long time ago, maybe.

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Parenting is tough, I get it. Being a daughter, being a son,

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is very tough too. And I hope you will never forget how it

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felt the first time that you expressed a desire. And your

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parents said, You were not allowed to go down that path.

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Maybe you were in love with someone of a different cost of a

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different, you know, part of society. And your parents didn't

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want you to be together. Maybe you were interested in arts and

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music, and your parents forced you to become an academic. This

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is when sickness arises and depression. And we have to stop,

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we wonder why so many people are sick and tired and break out or

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commit suicide, we have to become more sensitive with what

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a child's path may look like. And if we feel resistance, if we

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feel scared, we have to check in when without ego, we have to ask

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ourselves questions, and then ask the child specific questions

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and approach him or her with curiosity. I'm very proud of my

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parents of how they dealt with my tattoos, for instance, but

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also many other instances. I'm very grateful. On a subtle

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level, I still felt rejected. But that's okay. It's part of

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life. It's part of growing up and making your own way in this

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world. But today, I wanted to make sure that parents feel

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understood as well. And that I can see that it is

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uncomfortable. It is uncertainty. And it is scary.

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But we need to trust that what we the way we raised our child

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was the very best that we have done. And if they make a

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different conclusion out of it than what we thought initially,

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then it is okay. And we have to put trust in them. Love and

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them. And again, trust. We have to trust that all babies that we

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send out into the world are taking care of themselves and

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love themselves so much have so much healthy confidence in

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themselves, that they will make the right decisions. And if they

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didn't make a right decision, they know they can come back to

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you. They know they can come talk to you recharge their

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batteries, recalibrate their compass, and then start out a

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new path without you judging them. I'm sending my love out to

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you to all the parents out there to all the daughters and sons

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and creatures that are listening. I love you so much. I

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appreciate you so much. And if you have any comments, join me

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on my Facebook page Aurora Eggert. Add me there or comment

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below this episode that I will be posting here in a couple of

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minutes. Thank you so much. Take good care of yourself. Bye bye