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Dispelling the Myth that Success Means “Burning Out” With Sarah Arceneaux
Episode 817th May 2023 • Speak In Flow • Melinda Lee
00:00:00 00:29:52

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Learning how to say no may save you from burn-out and mis-understanding the myth to success.

Sarah highlights paying attention to our intuition, what is your body talk saying, and when those sacred messengers are showing us; through pain and discomfort that it’s time to rest, so we can rejuvenate and recharge.

Guilt can be that old and outdated inner voice, so unlock your most powerful you and shift that inner critic to one that speaks with confidence inside and out.

You can be successful without being that overworked leader heading for burn-out.

About Melinda:

Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.

She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.

Website: https://speakinflow.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow

Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall

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Transcripts

Melinda Lee:

Hello, welcome to the Speaking In Flow Podcast.

Melinda Lee:

Today I have Sarah Arsenault, who is a human resources

Melinda Lee:

professional. She's been in the industry for quite some time for

Melinda Lee:

over a decade. She's seen it all in human resources, human

Melinda Lee:

relations, consulting in different industries. She's

Melinda Lee:

currently working at Lamar advertising company. And I

Melinda Lee:

brought her on because she's a dear friend, caught like a

Melinda Lee:

client, a past client. And so she we work together. But she

Melinda Lee:

has an amazing experience that I want the audience to hear, she

Melinda Lee:

has worked through a lot of difficult challenges, and some

Melinda Lee:

of you might relate to it. And so that's why I have Sarah here.

Melinda Lee:

So Sarah, welcome.

Sarah Arceneaux:

Thank you, Melinda. Thanks for having me.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah, it's good to have you. And so let's dive

Melinda Lee:

right in. Sarah, like, as I mentioned, I think you are a

Melinda Lee:

powerhouse, you are confident you're courageous. And and it

Melinda Lee:

didn't, it came at a price it came with a lot of work,

Melinda Lee:

overcoming difficult challenges. And so what is something that

Melinda Lee:

you have had to go through and overcome in your life that you

Melinda Lee:

can share with with the audience

Sarah Arceneaux:

For sure. So back in 2016, I was diagnosed

Sarah Arceneaux:

with multiple sclerosis. And multiple sclerosis is an

Sarah Arceneaux:

autoimmune disease that affects your nerves can give it's a they

Sarah Arceneaux:

call it the snowflake disease, because it's different for

Sarah Arceneaux:

everyone. But my issues are mostly related to muscle

Sarah Arceneaux:

tightness and spasms, pain, some blindness that comes in and out

Sarah Arceneaux:

with what's called optic neuritis and migraines,

Sarah Arceneaux:

different things like that fatigue, brain fog, all kinds of

Sarah Arceneaux:

fun stuff that is not easy to work through. So back in 2016, I

Sarah Arceneaux:

was actually in grad school online and working full time,

Sarah Arceneaux:

which is already a lot without having a degenerative disease on

Sarah Arceneaux:

top of it. And so I ended up taking a semester break from

Sarah Arceneaux:

school while working, working through what would be best for

Sarah Arceneaux:

me at work. I learned the hard way that I needed to listen to

Sarah Arceneaux:

my body, which I now listen to. But back in the day, I would

Sarah Arceneaux:

have a relapse and MS relapse, and I'd worked through it and

Sarah Arceneaux:

not and take off a couple of hours here a couple of hours

Sarah Arceneaux:

there. But I was not allowing my body, the time and the rest I

Sarah Arceneaux:

needed. And something with MS like many other conditions, is

Sarah Arceneaux:

that stress worsens it. And it's nothing against my employer,

Sarah Arceneaux:

it's my own self, I've had anxiety my whole life. And

Sarah Arceneaux:

stress is definitely something that is there. And so I was in

Sarah Arceneaux:

employee relations, back when I was diagnosed. And that's where

Sarah Arceneaux:

I started my career in human resources. And that's a high

Sarah Arceneaux:

stress environment. That is somebody potential sexual

Sarah Arceneaux:

harassment or discrimination in the workplace. And those pop up

Sarah Arceneaux:

anytime we are a nationwide company, I could get a call on

Sarah Arceneaux:

Monday night that I needed to be in New York the next day, and

Sarah Arceneaux:

have to pack up and go do an investigation so that stress was

Sarah Arceneaux:

a lot on my body. So as we grew with Lamar, we wanted to start a

Sarah Arceneaux:

centralised Professional Development Programme within the

Sarah Arceneaux:

human resources department to focus on building up our

Sarah Arceneaux:

employees and getting them better at their jobs and better

Sarah Arceneaux:

leaders. So when that position came available, it was at a time

Sarah Arceneaux:

where I was telling myself, I need to take a break, I need my

Sarah Arceneaux:

body, my body needs time to rest. My doctor was advising me

Sarah Arceneaux:

of that. So I ended up taking a three month leave of absence

Sarah Arceneaux:

from work. And in between that time I was transitioning from

Sarah Arceneaux:

employee relations to professional development. So now

Sarah Arceneaux:

I'm in professional development and can look back at those times

Sarah Arceneaux:

and say, Man, that was difficult, man, was it a great

Sarah Arceneaux:

experience, but I'm in the right place now. Because with

Sarah Arceneaux:

professional development, I'm it's extremely fulfilling work

Sarah Arceneaux:

that I get to help train others on how to be a better version of

Sarah Arceneaux:

themselves. And instead of saying you helped me hire

Sarah Arceneaux:

somebody, they're saying you train me on how to be a better

Sarah Arceneaux:

leader and you inspired me to be better for my team and that has

Sarah Arceneaux:

had such a positive effect on my well being both with my health

Sarah Arceneaux:

and my mental health. And I think it's just, it's all taught

Sarah Arceneaux:

me to listen to my body and at the end of the day, the The

Sarah Arceneaux:

better I am to myself, the better I can be for my employer.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah. And what would you advise people who are

Melinda Lee:

still in it like if they are know that they have a difficult

Melinda Lee:

time they're feeling really overwhelmed, tired? Or their

Melinda Lee:

body's saying, hey, stop, what would you how do you know when

Melinda Lee:

to put the brakes on? For you? Yeah,

Sarah Arceneaux:

I'm learning how to say no, is a very

Sarah Arceneaux:

difficult thing that I still have a problem with, was

Sarah Arceneaux:

definitely the yes woman I took on every project, and overloaded

Sarah Arceneaux:

myself. And I think, being new to my career, I also was like, I

Sarah Arceneaux:

need to do the most, I need to be the most I need to not stop

Sarah Arceneaux:

in order to be able to advance, which is not necessarily the

Sarah Arceneaux:

truth. When you overload yourself, you end up burning

Sarah Arceneaux:

yourself out physically, emotionally, health wise, all of

Sarah Arceneaux:

those things. And so I think taking a look at at, we'd like

Sarah Arceneaux:

to say in our trainings, it's not work life balance, because

Sarah Arceneaux:

it needs to be balanced, it doesn't have to be equal, it

Sarah Arceneaux:

needs to be balanced. So making sure that you're giving yourself

Sarah Arceneaux:

enough time to rest to have that self care, and to not take on so

Sarah Arceneaux:

much that you feel like you always have to be on is the best

Sarah Arceneaux:

way to set up, set yourself up for success. Because if you

Sarah Arceneaux:

overload yourself, and you don't recognise the cues that your

Sarah Arceneaux:

body's giving you, then you're going to end up doing worse for

Sarah Arceneaux:

yourself. And it's going to end up catching up to you

Sarah Arceneaux:

eventually, like it did with me.

Melinda Lee:

And what are the cues that your body gives you,

Sarah Arceneaux:

um, mine are mostly pain related. I get

Sarah Arceneaux:

muscle spasms, and I now work from home after COVID, which has

Sarah Arceneaux:

been great, and has been a lot better for me, but I have pain

Sarah Arceneaux:

and then I have brain fog that happens. So I have all these

Sarah Arceneaux:

thoughts in my head and I try and say them and it will not

Sarah Arceneaux:

come out no matter what I say or the wrong words come out. And so

Sarah Arceneaux:

when I start to get like that, I have to make sure I go take a

Sarah Arceneaux:

1015 minute break, settle myself relax completely. And then I can

Sarah Arceneaux:

I can get back to work or if it's really bad take off a day

Sarah Arceneaux:

or so to really recover. And I think those mental health days

Sarah Arceneaux:

or whatever kind of health day that you need. Taking that time

Sarah Arceneaux:

is important. Because you're not going to be your best self at

Sarah Arceneaux:

work unless you are your full self, which you can't be if you

Sarah Arceneaux:

have all of these signals of overwork going on in your body.

Melinda Lee:

Do you actually wait till it's pain? And then

Melinda Lee:

you stop or have you figured out a way you go through it?

Sarah Arceneaux:

Usually I wait. Usually I wait for the pain

Sarah Arceneaux:

because I mean, with MS depending on on how you are my

Sarah Arceneaux:

my pain level, I don't really go under a pain level of three out

Sarah Arceneaux:

of 10. So when my pain starts getting up and up, and we're

Sarah Arceneaux:

hitting a five or six, usually towards the end of the day,

Sarah Arceneaux:

that's when I usually end up trying to try to take a break

Sarah Arceneaux:

and rest. But I've also found things that have helped me which

Sarah Arceneaux:

changing positions. So I have a standing desk, I will sit in a

Sarah Arceneaux:

chair, I will use a standing desk or I'll sit on the couch

Sarah Arceneaux:

throughout the day to mix it up. So I don't get to that pain,

Sarah Arceneaux:

that pain level to where I need to stop myself. So I think

Sarah Arceneaux:

creating those adaptations for yourself, recognising the signs

Sarah Arceneaux:

and telling yourself Oh, my stomach's hungry, I haven't

Sarah Arceneaux:

eaten because I've been working through lunch, go eat, having

Sarah Arceneaux:

those breaks for yourself are so important.

Melinda Lee:

I think it's so true. I mean, I want to just

Melinda Lee:

share a little bit on my mom, because she was constantly on

Melinda Lee:

the go constantly at it. And I she did not listen to her body

Melinda Lee:

at all. So I liked how you said that. I noticed if it's a 345

Melinda Lee:

and it's getting to five, I want to stop. But there are so many

Melinda Lee:

of us in our society, when we just push through it, we don't

Melinda Lee:

listen to our intuition into our bodies. And then we think, Oh,

Melinda Lee:

well, we'll rest late or there's no time to sleep. And then and

Melinda Lee:

then and then you don't listen to those cues anymore. And then

Melinda Lee:

something like this happens where your body needs to go

Melinda Lee:

through something just to alarm you. And then it's almost too

Melinda Lee:

late. So So I think it's important for people to be

Melinda Lee:

listening and more, you know, settling their minds so that and

Melinda Lee:

allowing yourself to say no to these things. What was that like

Melinda Lee:

for you to say start saying no. How did you fortify that voice?

Melinda Lee:

Like you had to because you're in pain. But then what was it

Melinda Lee:

like to finally start to see it and use your voice like that?

Sarah Arceneaux:

It was difficult. And to add to that a

Sarah Arceneaux:

little bit to my story is that I'm very close were friends with

Sarah Arceneaux:

quite a few of my co workers, one of which had told me I love

Sarah Arceneaux:

you as a friend more than I love you as a co worker and you're

Sarah Arceneaux:

not going to work here any longer not not in a threatening

Sarah Arceneaux:

way but you're not going to work here any longer if you've run

Sarah Arceneaux:

yourself to the ground. She told me that a couple of days later,

Sarah Arceneaux:

two other people told me that because I was seriously burnt

Sarah Arceneaux:

out and overworking and I you could physically on my face tell

Sarah Arceneaux:

how sick I was feeling. So I think listening to yourself, but

Sarah Arceneaux:

also listening to other people being like, we don't want you to

Sarah Arceneaux:

do more. Don't say yes. Is something to listen to, too. But

Sarah Arceneaux:

once I started saying, No, I think the biggest thing for me

Sarah Arceneaux:

was, people still like me, I'm still a good co worker, doesn't

Sarah Arceneaux:

matter. I said, No, and they're not gonna fire me. Awesome. And

Sarah Arceneaux:

I think that the biggest thing that I found is that I now would

Sarah Arceneaux:

rather say no, or Yes, I'll do that in six months, then take it

Sarah Arceneaux:

on now and then say, Oh, I didn't have time. Let me push

Sarah Arceneaux:

back that deadline, push back that deadline, because I used to

Sarah Arceneaux:

say yes, all the time, and not get things done. Super timely,

Sarah Arceneaux:

right. So now I'm able to find a better balance by spacing things

Sarah Arceneaux:

out, spacing things out for both my stress load, for getting

Sarah Arceneaux:

deadlines complete, and all of those things, and really being

Sarah Arceneaux:

realistic with what you can do in the timeframe. Because I

Sarah Arceneaux:

think that was a big, a big part of my stress level too, was,

Sarah Arceneaux:

again, trying to do the most and be the best, and overloading

Sarah Arceneaux:

myself. And putting too much on myself. It wasn't that my boss

Sarah Arceneaux:

necessarily did ask, but I could have said no, because I had more

Sarah Arceneaux:

things on my plate. So I had too many things. And that's what was

Sarah Arceneaux:

causing my stress level, not necessarily the base level of my

Sarah Arceneaux:

job. It was what I was taking on. At my job. I was doing it to

Sarah Arceneaux:

myself.

Melinda Lee:

Right, right. And there's so many of us so many of

Melinda Lee:

us that are just there were leaders or heart centred

Melinda Lee:

leaders, we want to do the best we want to put ourselves out

Melinda Lee:

there. We want to climb we want to make more money, all these

Melinda Lee:

things drive us we want to prove, right? Hey, we got this

Melinda Lee:

and you can and what I love what you what happened with you is

Melinda Lee:

you said no. And you allow people what when you say no,

Melinda Lee:

you're also allowing people to actually to show you you're

Melinda Lee:

still love, you're still enough. And opportunities can still come

Melinda Lee:

like if we keep on pushing and proving we're actually not

Melinda Lee:

allowing for these opportunities show up for you to pace at a

Melinda Lee:

good pace that is good for you and still see fruition and

Melinda Lee:

results, even at your pace that you want to go on. It's

Melinda Lee:

absolutely yeah,

Sarah Arceneaux:

absolutely. And, and I've come to a place

Sarah Arceneaux:

where I love my job so much. I really do. And I thanks to your

Sarah Arceneaux:

your help as a speaker coach to I've started facilitating

Sarah Arceneaux:

training for Lamar advertising company, which I never in my

Sarah Arceneaux:

life would have thought that I would have been a corporate

Sarah Arceneaux:

trainer. I just never. Even though my undergrad degree was

Sarah Arceneaux:

in HR education. I just never thought that would be me even

Sarah Arceneaux:

though I I taught my teddy bears when I was in kindergarten, and

Sarah Arceneaux:

my room and all of that.

Melinda Lee:

Well, I remember in you were like you're seeking

Melinda Lee:

were you speaking inside, like on the RV, or you had visions of

Melinda Lee:

yourself talking? Yes, you had visions of yourself speaking and

Melinda Lee:

in your mind are ready. And let's talk about when you first

Melinda Lee:

came to me when you were like, hey, Melinda, I'm going to do

Melinda Lee:

this training for this cut for our company. And it's a big

Melinda Lee:

deal. Because you're training executives, you're training the

Melinda Lee:

leaders of the company, and a part of you had that impostor

Melinda Lee:

syndrome. So you've done it before with your teddy bears,

Melinda Lee:

and you had visions of it, but you still felt like who am I to

Melinda Lee:

do this? Yep, yeah, yeah, remember that? I do.

Sarah Arceneaux:

And I did trainings previously, where I

Sarah Arceneaux:

came up with a material. And I can talk all day long when

Sarah Arceneaux:

something I came up with, but we did it through the training

Sarah Arceneaux:

through Franklin Covey. So I had six hours worth of presentation

Sarah Arceneaux:

material that was not my own, which was completely daunting to

Sarah Arceneaux:

me. And when I met you all of the thoughts of I'm not going to

Sarah Arceneaux:

remember what they said they're going to ask me a question. I

Sarah Arceneaux:

don't know the answer to the Zoom isn't going to work. The

Sarah Arceneaux:

they don't, I haven't been a actual manager of a person for

Sarah Arceneaux:

very long, so they're not going to trust that what I have to say

Sarah Arceneaux:

is accurate. I had all of these self doubts going through my

Sarah Arceneaux:

head. And as I mentioned earlier, I've struggled with

Sarah Arceneaux:

anxiety. So it was ruling me and I knew that I was coming up with

Sarah Arceneaux:

this, this facilitation and the next few months and then you

Sarah Arceneaux:

just happen to pop into one of my professional organisations,

Sarah Arceneaux:

met you and you were talking about Unshakable Confidence. I

Sarah Arceneaux:

was like, Well, yeah, I kind of need that. And so working with

Sarah Arceneaux:

you and your core method, I was able to neutralise those self

Sarah Arceneaux:

doubting thoughts, and I've shared with you and I'll share

Sarah Arceneaux:

with everyone I Recently, in the past two weeks, I was doing my

Sarah Arceneaux:

Franklin Covey presentations. And long story short, it wasn't

Sarah Arceneaux:

an internet problem, it was a computer problem. My computer

Sarah Arceneaux:

didn't have enough memory and zoom was quitting on me probably

Sarah Arceneaux:

20 different times during a two hour session with all these

Sarah Arceneaux:

executives on the phone, panic attack was ensuing inside. But

Sarah Arceneaux:

on the outside, I was still keeping it together at some

Sarah Arceneaux:

point, it would just I would see my little mouse it would have

Sarah Arceneaux:

like the little thinking thing and like it's about to crash,

Sarah Arceneaux:

just take a deep breath, it'll come back up and I kept talking.

Sarah Arceneaux:

So at some point, I barely even felt that it that it went went

Sarah Arceneaux:

away. And then when I got the new computer, I told you I was

Sarah Arceneaux:

like bring it on computer what you got come on mess with me.

Sarah Arceneaux:

I've got this so that unshakeable confidence. You

Sarah Arceneaux:

definitely helped instil in me and it's, it's been interesting.

Sarah Arceneaux:

I'll tell Melinda all the time. You have some voodoo magic. I'm

Sarah Arceneaux:

from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. So we got the Voodoo down here in

Sarah Arceneaux:

New Orleans. don't necessarily believe in it. But I believe in

Sarah Arceneaux:

Melinda and your voodoo magic ways of neutralising all these

Sarah Arceneaux:

thoughts in my head. Thank you

Melinda Lee:

so much. And those thoughts were real. I mean, they

Melinda Lee:

actually had a legitimate reason to be there. Because like you

Melinda Lee:

said, yeah, that technology may not work. Yeah, you didn't have

Melinda Lee:

as much experience as all of these executives. Yeah, the

Melinda Lee:

materials not used. So those are actual, they were in when

Melinda Lee:

anybody goes through something that is high stakes, it's

Melinda Lee:

important, these thoughts will come up. And, and I think

Melinda Lee:

they're valid. And I think what you and I did the work that we

Melinda Lee:

did, we did it, we did give it respect, and we work through

Melinda Lee:

each of them. So that you can see that they're their thoughts,

Melinda Lee:

and they needed to be heard, they needed to be respected. And

Melinda Lee:

then they actually start to dissolve and neutralise out of

Melinda Lee:

our nervous system. And then so when you when you got presented

Melinda Lee:

with even what would have happened if we didn't work

Melinda Lee:

together, and you have that computer problem, what do you

Melinda Lee:

think would have? Like, really, I'm gonna play it out like this

Melinda Lee:

for fun? What do you would have done,

Sarah Arceneaux:

I would have cried, probably cried, there

Sarah Arceneaux:

probably would have been tears, I wanted to throw my computer

Sarah Arceneaux:

across the room. And I might have if I didn't, if I didn't

Sarah Arceneaux:

have that confidence, I think that, um, I really don't know,

Sarah Arceneaux:

because I just kept going to, I have my bullet points. I know

Sarah Arceneaux:

what I'm talking about. And I kept Melinda, Melinda and her

Sarah Arceneaux:

immersion session would say, I don't know what I'm gonna say,

Sarah Arceneaux:

but it's gonna be great. And the amount of times I was like, I

Sarah Arceneaux:

don't know what the heck is gonna happen with this computer,

Sarah Arceneaux:

but I'm gonna get through it. And this training is going to be

Sarah Arceneaux:

great. I just kept telling myself that and I could power

Sarah Arceneaux:

through it. And so I think if I didn't have that, in the back of

Sarah Arceneaux:

my head, I might have been like, we need to stop this training

Sarah Arceneaux:

until I figure out what's going on. I was able to adjust on the

Sarah Arceneaux:

fly, when I don't think I would have been able to do it as

Sarah Arceneaux:

gracefully as I did, if that makes sense.

Melinda Lee:

Yes, yes, yes. Right. Yeah, totally. Because

Melinda Lee:

your your, your mind is going haywire, the nervous system is

Melinda Lee:

going haywire. And then so we're not able to think very clearly.

Melinda Lee:

And so you're able to think clearly you're able to move

Melinda Lee:

through it and adjust and, and still and then there was a some

Melinda Lee:

feedback,

Sarah Arceneaux:

I was about to say that and then after the the

Sarah Arceneaux:

last one I ended up I was at with our help desk was there and

Sarah Arceneaux:

they said if it doesn't work, I'm gonna go get you the best

Sarah Arceneaux:

computer I got. So literally, we took a 20 minute break from the

Sarah Arceneaux:

training I was supposed to talk about, we'll talk through how to

Sarah Arceneaux:

adjust on the fly, what I was going to remove from it, got

Sarah Arceneaux:

back into it and went into it. So this last group had half of

Sarah Arceneaux:

me with technical issues and half of me with the computer

Sarah Arceneaux:

working properly. And the regional manager once everything

Sarah Arceneaux:

was done, who's the head of the group that I was there was about

Sarah Arceneaux:

30 People said before everybody gets off the phone, I'd really

Sarah Arceneaux:

like to say how much I appreciate Sarah's efforts here.

Sarah Arceneaux:

Because I was not just a Franklin Covey facilitator,

Sarah Arceneaux:

which there's nothing against Franklin Covey facilitators or

Sarah Arceneaux:

any other company. But what he said was, the training material

Sarah Arceneaux:

was so much more impactful, because it was coming from

Sarah Arceneaux:

somebody who's been with our organisation for a long time,

Sarah Arceneaux:

who knows them as managers, who knows our business and could put

Sarah Arceneaux:

real life examples from our business and from what I've

Sarah Arceneaux:

dealt with in our human resources department into action

Sarah Arceneaux:

and speaking with them and being able to really say, like, we're

Sarah Arceneaux:

talking about building trust with our teams, and we have the

Sarah Arceneaux:

people who instal the billboards and the people who sell the

Sarah Arceneaux:

billboards. And one of the biggest things that we hear in

Sarah Arceneaux:

HR is that there's kind of a divide between the front of the

Sarah Arceneaux:

house and the back of the house and building that trust is one

Sarah Arceneaux:

of the most important things and and they told me that they could

Sarah Arceneaux:

really hear and that point was driven home for me because I had

Sarah Arceneaux:

all those eggs examples that I could that I could employ in our

Sarah Arceneaux:

discussion, as opposed to someone from Franklin Covey who

Sarah Arceneaux:

might be able to start that discussion, but not be able to

Sarah Arceneaux:

go through it all. And so I really did almost cry when he

Sarah Arceneaux:

told me that I'm like, keep it together, you're on video with

Sarah Arceneaux:

all these executives, but it was so fulfilling to hear from

Sarah Arceneaux:

somebody, I respect it so much that my efforts were

Sarah Arceneaux:

appreciated, and that they understood because he was like,

Sarah Arceneaux:

this was a lot of material for you, to learn and to teach us.

Sarah Arceneaux:

And so we just appreciate your effort. So it was extremely

Sarah Arceneaux:

rewarding.

Melinda Lee:

Oh, that's beautiful. And what are the

Melinda Lee:

magic, what a what a great thing to instil like, not only just

Melinda Lee:

teaching, but you're really instilling the trust in these

Melinda Lee:

employees and the staff and executive and that really makes

Melinda Lee:

a difference for them. And then for having to have them to help

Melinda Lee:

them to have it hit home for them. And, and then to get the

Melinda Lee:

feedback from the executive that you really respect. And you did

Melinda Lee:

it. So that's all from think about is all from you going

Melinda Lee:

through the challenge with Ms. Saying no saying yes to your

Melinda Lee:

help. And then this opportunity for this new position or this

Melinda Lee:

new role? That is so much better for you more fulfilling? And?

Melinda Lee:

Absolutely, it's,

Sarah Arceneaux:

it's been a whirlwind. And when I graduated

Sarah Arceneaux:

school, I wanted to be the VP of HR at a company or open my own

Sarah Arceneaux:

consulting firm. And I think that my biggest message to

Sarah Arceneaux:

people out there is, no matter what you come across, know that

Sarah Arceneaux:

you can adjust in a way that you will be happy, I never would

Sarah Arceneaux:

have thought that I would be happy, being a professional

Sarah Arceneaux:

development manager for the next 50 years of my life. And I

Sarah Arceneaux:

really could be because it's such fulfilling work. I don't

Sarah Arceneaux:

necessarily need to be the VP of HR over 30 people in order to be

Sarah Arceneaux:

successful, I can be successful in my own right, by helping

Sarah Arceneaux:

leaders be the best leaders that they can be and just adjusting

Sarah Arceneaux:

that mindset of I don't necessarily have to be the top

Sarah Arceneaux:

dog. I can be. I can be what's the word I'm looking for. And I

Sarah Arceneaux:

can be inspiring and impactful in my work without being the top

Sarah Arceneaux:

of the the top of the tear of the department. Yeah,

Melinda Lee:

I mean, what is success? Right? Is it really a

Melinda Lee:

title? Right? Is it Oh, really, right? No, no, it's not. I took

Melinda Lee:

me

Sarah Arceneaux:

a minute. So to my mom, my mom, you are going to

Sarah Arceneaux:

be interviewing as well. And she is the top dog and she has been

Sarah Arceneaux:

my inspiration my whole life is to be just like her and get a

Sarah Arceneaux:

master's degree, which I did and, and try and get into

Sarah Arceneaux:

leadership. And I learned a lot from her. And I'm super excited

Sarah Arceneaux:

to watch her podcast recording as well.

Melinda Lee:

I know, I'm excited to have her. She'll be here next

Melinda Lee:

couple of weeks. And so what is what about the MS in your life

Melinda Lee:

right now? Like how is that also played out in your life? And in

Melinda Lee:

your, how you see yourself? Or do you not? Like yeah, what is

Melinda Lee:

that? Like? Um,

Sarah Arceneaux:

it's one of those things where whenever I

Sarah Arceneaux:

was diagnosed, I used to be like, I have good days and bad

Sarah Arceneaux:

days, but it's mostly good. And that was more of a placation for

Sarah Arceneaux:

other people than it was for me because in reality, I have my

Sarah Arceneaux:

new normal consists of basically a low level of pain. So most

Sarah Arceneaux:

people would call that a bad day. Right? Right, I've come to

Sarah Arceneaux:

the point where it's like, I am not in a great place. If I'm in

Sarah Arceneaux:

really bad pain, I have a relapse, what have you for a

Sarah Arceneaux:

couple of weeks. But if I'm just at my base level of my new

Sarah Arceneaux:

normal, where my foots Dragon, my wrist is dislocating my

Sarah Arceneaux:

migraines happen and all that kind of stuff can happen. But as

Sarah Arceneaux:

long as I have the support of my friends, my family, my job,

Sarah Arceneaux:

who's very supportive and has lovely accommodations for me,

Sarah Arceneaux:

then I can get through anything. And as long as I have that

Sarah Arceneaux:

support, and as long as I listened to my body, then I can

Sarah Arceneaux:

succeed. And most days I'm doing pretty good. I've gotten on a

Sarah Arceneaux:

good metal medicine regimen and advocated for my health and I do

Sarah Arceneaux:

physical therapy. I do all those kinds of things to keep my

Sarah Arceneaux:

stamina up and I don't plan on slowing down anytime soon. So

Sarah Arceneaux:

no. Yeah, I think I think I've I've gotten into the good groove

Sarah Arceneaux:

of things where we've got the right medicine, the right

Sarah Arceneaux:

support. I also married a physical therapist, so I won the

Sarah Arceneaux:

lottery on that one. Um, so it's good. It's good, happy, happy.

Sarah Arceneaux:

Willie married with two little pups trying to grow a family and

Sarah Arceneaux:

do it all, while taking care of myself at the same time.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah, that is the epitome, I think most of them

Melinda Lee:

will want to be where we want to be. Right handling.

Sarah Arceneaux:

I don't do it gracefully all the time. But I

Sarah Arceneaux:

try.

Melinda Lee:

Hey, there, we're here. It's always we're always

Melinda Lee:

evolving, always evolving. And I think you are an amazing

Melinda Lee:

powerhouse. I always saw you, as see you as a powerhouse. Because

Melinda Lee:

you, you have a confidence about yourself, you walk in, and you

Melinda Lee:

have this presence. And then you make people laugh. And then and

Melinda Lee:

then and then you know, I would have never known about all these

Melinda Lee:

things about you, you deal with so much. And yet, it's still you

Melinda Lee:

continue to go through, you continue to rise, and especially

Melinda Lee:

in the role that you're in and powering people is just so

Melinda Lee:

suitable for you. And Lamar advertising company is really,

Melinda Lee:

really lucky to have you they know that. And so it's been

Melinda Lee:

really fun today, and thank you so much for sharing your story

Melinda Lee:

and your insight. What would you what is a one piece of advice

Melinda Lee:

more if you would like to share with people about using their

Melinda Lee:

voice about using your voice about unleashing your leadership

Melinda Lee:

voice? What is the key thing that they can do? So they might

Melinda Lee:

be really not using it and and understanding the power behind

Melinda Lee:

it, they might be afraid. And so what is the one key advice that

Melinda Lee:

you can give?

Sarah Arceneaux:

I think my biggest piece of advice, and the

Sarah Arceneaux:

hardest thing you taught me to do is breaking free from the

Sarah Arceneaux:

script, breaking free from what you think other people want you

Sarah Arceneaux:

to say and saying what you actually think needs to be said.

Sarah Arceneaux:

I think that I used to be like, Okay, this is what I should say

Sarah Arceneaux:

in HR world. And this is what the book says, and this is what

Sarah Arceneaux:

my experience shows and then try and think through all that write

Sarah Arceneaux:

the perfect script. And then I go to train somebody and I don't

Sarah Arceneaux:

say exactly that. And I'm like, I didn't get my point across.

Sarah Arceneaux:

And the biggest thing that I learned is, especially with this

Sarah Arceneaux:

Franklin Covey stuff, it's six hours of material, which that's

Sarah Arceneaux:

a lot of stuff that I can miss. But I realised that as long as

Sarah Arceneaux:

I'm inspiring them to go back and try and build trust within

Sarah Arceneaux:

their teams, and I did my job, and being able to get out of my

Sarah Arceneaux:

head and say if I didn't say every single thing that I

Sarah Arceneaux:

planned, as long as the big message gets across, right, then

Sarah Arceneaux:

you're done. You're in the right place, and you're in that sweet

Sarah Arceneaux:

spot.

Melinda Lee:

Totally. Yeah. Like having that trust. That was

Melinda Lee:

enough. Like that's so important. And we are enough.

Melinda Lee:

And what I said is enough, I think many of us will try to

Melinda Lee:

over teach try to give too much information and we got to cram

Melinda Lee:

it all in. And then I love that you got to that point of that

Melinda Lee:

was enough. I did what I did, the big thing that I need to do

Melinda Lee:

is done and we're good.

Sarah Arceneaux:

Yep. Before you having 20 minutes taken out of

Sarah Arceneaux:

my presentation would have wrecked me because I'd be like,

Sarah Arceneaux:

how do I take 20 minutes out and I immediately was like two

Sarah Arceneaux:

videos remove that activity going. Alright, let's go. And I

Sarah Arceneaux:

was ready to roll and it was amazing. I was like, I still

Sarah Arceneaux:

don't know how you did it. Melinda. Magic.

Melinda Lee:

Did it. You did it. We did it. I am so appreciative

Melinda Lee:

of you. Thank you so much, Sarah for sharing your expertise, your

Melinda Lee:

experiences and your time today with us. Really appreciate you.

Sarah Arceneaux:

Of course. It's my pleasure. Thank you Melinda.

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