Today I'm joined by Mallory Smyth to chat all about the ways culture is forming the way we think, live, and see ourselves as women. We talk about social media, comparison, modern feminism, motherhood, ambition, and what it actually looks like to renew your mind as a Catholic today. This episode is honest, thoughtful, and full of wisdom on learning how to filter the messages we consume through the truth of the Gospel instead of the culture around us.

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I'm your host, Mari Wagner, and

you're listening to the Everbe

2

podcast, where faith meets lifestyle.

3

I'm so excited you're here.

4

Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

5

there's something here for you.

6

Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real-life conversations

7

and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

8

If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

9

modern world, then this is for you.

10

Welcome to Everbe.

11

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Welcome back to Everbe, everybody.

12

Today, I have a special

guest on, Mallory Smythe.

13

She's a dear friend, a national

speaker, author, and the host of the

14

Gospel and Everything Else podcast.

15

Welcome, Mallory, to Everbe.

16

We're so excited to have you.

17

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Mari, thank you so much for having me.

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I'm excited to be here.

19

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: We

connected a couple months ago after

20

Seek and just had such a great coffee

date talking about living the gospel in

21

our lives and writing and speaking and

mission and ministry and, like, how do

22

we really serve the world today and all

the needs that our generations have.

23

So I'm excited to just bring you on and

kind of go deeper in that conversation

24

and share it with all of our listeners.

25

But before we do, can you just maybe share

a little bit more detail about what you're

26

doing, what kind of work you do, all that?

27

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Yeah, absolutely.

28

Yeah, so I mean, my thing is that the

gospel is real, and God is real, He

29

exists whether or not we believe in Him.

30

And so that's a big part of my story that

I will not go heavily into, but the short

31

of it is that I had massive conversion

at the end of college, and it started

32

because I realized I was miserable.

33

I was doing everything

the culture told me to do.

34

I was chasing happiness,

I wasn't happy at all.

35

And so I started to really search, and I

wasn't even searching for God necessarily.

36

I was just searching for honesty

and truth, and I was gonna

37

align myself with that truth.

38

That started with looking into atheism,

and I did that with an open heart

39

and decided it wasn't, wasn't true.

40

And that's whenever I just said,

"God, I'm jumping on your team, and

41

you better prove yourself to me."

42

And over the next few years,

that's exactly what He did.

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He proved Himself to me way that made

me be able to say, "I know you're real.

44

And if you're real, then I should be able

to see your reality and how you order the

45

world unfolding in the world around me."

46

And so I just, in love with Jesus.

47

I fell in love with the scriptures in

particular, and I slowly but surely

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started to give my life to Christ.

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And that ended in me leaving my

accounting job, it was my first

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career, and just jumping into ministry.

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So I've been doing full-time ministry

for the past 15 years, and my goal with

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that is just to reintroduce Jesus to

anyone who wants to know Him, anyone who

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thinks they know Him, and they've been

inoculated to Him, and they've walked

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away, or anybody who's just curious

and, and doesn't know where to start.

55

And so that has ended up with me being

a FOCUS missionary for-- I believe I

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was a FOCUS missionary for five years.

57

My husband was a FOCUS missionary

for 14 years, and then I went into

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women's ministry with Endow and

then with Walking with Purpose.

59

And during that time, I wrote my

own story about coming back to the

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Catholic Church called Rekindled a

way just to level with my friends.

61

Because what I had seen, and Mari,

I'm curious if you've seen some

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of the same things, I do think the

environment has changed quite a bit,

63

but when I fell in love with the Lord,

my friends not only didn't get it,

64

but they were not willing to ask me

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about it.

66

And we had all gone to Catholic

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school

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our whole lives 'cause we're

all from South Louisiana.

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so book was my response to say if they

were ever to say, "Why did you go crazy?"

70

Like, "Why did you walk

away from your career?

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Why can't you stop talking about Jesus?"

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Like, "The church doesn't

seem to be all that great,"

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this would be

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my

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

raw answer to you.

77

And then from there, during my time in

Walking with Purpose, uh, God opened

78

door, the doors for me to be able to

write three Bible studies, which was

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a dream of mine and still is, and just

to be able to help women in particular

80

dive into the scriptures in a way

that reveals the magic that they are,

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that they are transformative, that

they will bring you closer to Jesus.

82

And then since then Um, I've been

raising five kids and recording a

83

podcast about once a month, and doing

some writing for FOCUS on the side.

84

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

That is awesome.

85

You are doing it all.

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I love it.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

If you saw my house, you would say,

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like, "She's, she's doing barely."

89

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

No, I totally feel that.

90

I wear a lot of hats too, and sometimes

something's, something's gotta go.

91

But all the work that you're

doing is, is so amazing.

92

And before we jump into the conversation,

I wanted to-- I forgot to tell you

93

this before we pressed play, so you're

gonna be on the spot a little bit.

94

But at the very beginning of our

episodes, we do something called an

95

Everbe moment, and that's basically

just sharing like a God moment, a way

96

that God worked in your life, 'cause

the whole premise of the podcast is for

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God's praise ever to ever be on our lips.

98

Um, so I'll give you a second to think

about it, 'cause I am curious to know

99

what is your Everbe moment lately.

100

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm.

101

Oh, lately.

102

Hmm.

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Okay, I have it.

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Perfect.

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Go ahead.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

could be the rest of the

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podcast.

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I could just go through all the

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: I

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know, right?

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: life.

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

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It could be a whole podcast.

114

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: and-

and hopefully for your listeners, this

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will provide some encouragement for

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them.

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on Mother's Day, I woke up early, and

I was like, "I am praying a holy hour."

118

Like, I pray every day, but it

gets a little difficult for me

119

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

120

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

is four minutes away.

121

It's really close, but it

gets difficult to get there.

122

And so I woke up, I said, "Jared,

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I'll see you

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at church.

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: I'm

126

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I'm going

127

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: coming.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

before we go to Mass."

129

And I only got about

half an hour, 'cause...

130

But that was on me.

131

Uh, anyway, I'm sitting

there, and I'm just praying.

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And sorry, I'm like,

I'm emotional this week.

133

Who knows why.

134

It's probably hormones.

135

So if I cry,

136

sorry.

137

But

138

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Bring it

139

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: I am

140

sitting with

141

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: on.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: in the

adoration chapel, and I'm just listening.

143

I'm just h- open to Him,

happy to be with Him.

144

And as...

145

What I like to do in the adoration chapel

is go through my memories with Him.

146

Because if we are willing to recall

what the Lord has done for us, it's

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a lot easier for us to have faith

whenever we're going through hard

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times.

149

it's

150

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

151

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

for us to just remember that He

152

has our good whenever we think

He's not giving us the thing we

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want.

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And so that's

155

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

156

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Like, "You were here in my life then.

157

You were here in my life then.

158

You were here in my life."

159

And I was thinking about my children,

because, uh, for the past 10 years

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almost, I've just been giving birth.

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And so...

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And that can feel chaotic, and-

and overwhelming, and difficult,

163

and beautiful at the same time,

but you have all of these emotions,

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and you're just trying to survive.

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And so I was praying, and what I

kept getting from the Lord was,

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"Behold, I make all things new,"

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from the-

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I love it.

169

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: And so

I was talk- like, just with Him on that.

170

Like, "I make all things new."

171

what He was giving to me was, like-

I'm gonna make your memories new.

172

I'm gonna renew your mind.

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I can renew your body.

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I can renew your marriage.

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I can renew all these times in your

life where you were confused, or

176

you were hurt, or you were wounded.

177

And it wasn't just like, "I'm

gonna make your future new."

178

And what I realized

179

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

180

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

these past 10 years, for the

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most part, I see is sweetness.

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Like, you just think of the times

when they were, like, really cute or,

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you know, you saw God in them, or you

saw them accomplish something new.

184

And it's almost like all that

pain, and the frustration, and the

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sleeplessness, and just these thi-

And, like, for me, just being like,

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"Why am I having another baby?"

187

Like, of it melts away, and He answers

and He's like, "See, this is where I

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was.

189

making all things new."

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And I, I've been praying about that a

lot because that's my personal journey.

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That's not everybody's journey.

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Everybody has diff- You know, you're

going through a beautiful journey right

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now.

194

But as we are sitting down

and we're like, "You didn't...

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Like, why are you withholding this

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from me?

197

Why are

198

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

199

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Why

is this relationship breaking down?"

200

I think the Lord stands over us and He

says, "Behold, I am making all things new.

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Like, if you will let me,

202

I

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mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

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mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: in.

205

And you might not see it today,

if you will hold on, you will

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see it, and you will see how I

made it new and where I was."

207

And so it's just been kind

of motivating me lately.

208

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

That is a beautiful perspective.

209

I'm, I'm definitely gonna take

that with me the rest of the week.

210

I love that.

211

Um, thank you for sharing that.

212

That was super encouraging.

213

My Every Moment is...

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So I do-- I lead a Bible study every

week, and we do it throughout the

215

year, and then we pause for the summer,

so we're nearing up on the end here.

216

And we just finished a whole series that

we did on personal prayer and to apply

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everything we learned from this series.

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It was taught by Father Boniface.

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It was amazing.

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Um, we went to do a Holy Hour as a

Bible study yesterday at, in Adoration.

221

And that was just such a beautiful

moment to see just the women that I

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walked with who yearn to love the Lord,

learn to f- yearn to follow Him, and,

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um, just emulate Him in their vocations

and everything just before the Lord.

224

Like, I sat in the back and just,

like, watched everybody finish up

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their Holy Hour, and some of them

brought their babies, and some of

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them don't have kids, and some of th-

you know, they had their journals.

227

They were all doing all different things

just, like, in front of the Lord, and

228

for me, that was just such a reminder of

the importance of just, like, showing up

229

in front of Jesus and letting Him do the

work, especially as a Bible study leader.

230

We can do only so much to share

our stories, and our testimonies,

231

and encourage, and, um, you know,

give tips on, like, how to live

232

out your faith and everything.

233

But really, in the end, I was there,

and I just felt the Lord say, like,

234

"Thank you for bringing them to me.

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That's all you have to do."

236

Like, all you have to

do is bring them to me.

237

Um, so I hope that's an

encouragement for others as well.

238

Like, if you're leading a Bible study

or walking with women, sometimes

239

we don't need to try very hard.

240

We just need to bring them to Jesus, and

that's also great advice for ourselves.

241

Sometimes we don't have to

strive super hard in our life.

242

We just need to put ourselves

in front of Jesus's presence

243

and, and let Him do the work.

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So that's my moment.

245

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I love it.

246

It's so simple.

247

We, I know I tend to complicate it.

248

I

249

won't project.

250

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah,

251

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah,

252

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

absolutely.

253

Yeah.

254

Well, let's dive in.

255

So first thing I wanna ask, I know

you love Romans 12 and the whole idea

256

of being transformed by the renewal

of your mind, and I also love that

257

verse, so I wanna hear more about it.

258

What does that actually look like in

our everyday life as a modern woman?

259

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Mm, it's a great question, and it's

260

such, it is such a beautiful verse.

261

Uh, what is it?

262

Um, I know you just paraphrased it.

263

I'm trying to see if I

can pull it for real.

264

Um, do not be conformed to,

do not be conformed to this

265

age, but be transformed

by the renewal of your

266

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

267

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: that,

268

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

269

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: to this

270

age.

271

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes,

272

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

so this is, again, this is just

273

such a big part of my own story.

274

And part of it was whenever I

came back to the faith, I came

275

back through the Protestant

276

church.

277

And as many people do, I got very

angry with the Catholic Church.

278

Of like, "Where was this?

279

Where were

280

the cute

281

boys with

282

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

283

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Bibles open at the coffee shop and

284

talking about re- reaching the nations?

285

And we talk about Jesus a lot."

286

And so I had just a lot...

287

First of all, I had a lot of preconceived

notions from the culture, because

288

I had been living for the culture.

289

Like, that's, uh, that's where

I wanted to find happiness.

290

And then, and then I

291

had that conversion in the

Protestant church, so I got really

292

angry to the Catholic Church.

293

And so what ended up happening, probably

over a span of five years, was I just

294

decided to allow myself to be wrong.

295

And I started asking questions.

296

And so with the Catholic Church

in particular, it's like, oh,

297

the, the church is bigoted.

298

The church hates gay people.

299

The church is about, is,

you know, hates women.

300

Like, or whatever it is.

301

And so I

302

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

303

" mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Okay, is that true?

304

And if it's not, then why does

the church hold this, what it

305

holds?"

306

as

307

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Right.

308

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

research, I realized that it

309

was my mind that was wrong.

310

Romans Chapter One tells us

that in our rebellion against

311

God, our minds were darkened.

312

So we don't actually see

reality the way it exists.

313

a book that I love by Frank Sheed.

314

He was a street corner

preacher in England.

315

It's a great...

316

Okay, it's, I love the first

chapter, 'cause that's all

317

I've read, like 15 times.

318

But he talks about this idea that

as Catholics, a lot of times we

319

walk around with Catholic patches.

320

We have a Catholic will So we

want to love God, but we don't

321

have a Catholic intellect.

322

We are still formed by the same, you

know, magazines, podcasts, social

323

media, n- news platforms, whatever it

is, that everyone else is formed by.

324

Therefore, we don't see reality

the way the church sees it.

325

And if...

326

And so what he talks about is that we're,

we are called to basically go sane, that

327

the closer we are to seeing reality, the

more that we become sane because our...

328

what we see matches what the church

329

sees.

330

And

331

so for us today,

332

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

333

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

and being willing to be wrong in our

334

preconceived notions because what we are

living in right now is a culture that

335

has been fashioned in its ideas within

the past 100 years, maybe 70, maybe 20.

336

So some of the ideas that we have,

they're, they're very new ideas,

337

and so if we're really holding onto

them, we can say, "Okay, the...

338

Okay, this idea is 70 years old.

339

Church is 2,000 years old," and if

we go all the way back to Genesis

340

right, it's a lot older than

that, and there's wisdom there.

341

so am I willing read the scriptures?

342

Am I willing to seek out counsel?

343

Am I willing to up-level what I'm

consuming and maybe consume some things

344

that are gonna teach me more than just

the popular novel that's on the shelf at

345

Target so that I can actually start to

think and see the world differently and,

346

and have it be closer to what the Church

sees 'cause the Church sees what is there?

347

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

348

Yeah, I love that.

349

That is so helpful.

350

Such a helpful way to put it,

like, and we're gonna get into it

351

later too, but, like, what we're

consuming is forming our worldview,

352

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

353

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

opinions, and our mind.

354

And so if we're not consuming the

resources the church has given

355

us, well, yeah, it makes sense.

356

Like, we're not gonna form our

mind in that same worldview and

357

mindset that the world is-- or

that the church is coming from.

358

So that's super helpful.

359

Uh, uh, and let's just get into

that conversation a little bit more.

360

I mean, you're saying, like, the

culture is constantly forming us.

361

So what are the s- some of the biggest

ways that you see right now that

362

women today are being shaped by the

culture instead of by the gospel?

363

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

364

I, I see it two ways.

365

I guess I, I see...

366

And a lot of it comes from social media,

367

but I think the

368

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

369

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: the

culture for my lifetime has, you know,

370

it's been very focused on feminism

371

And

372

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

373

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

and girl boss and, and in a certain

374

sense, a very self-centered life.

375

When I grew up, it was,

"You can do anything.

376

You can, you can be anything.

377

You can do anything.

378

Reach for your dreams, and then, you

know, after you get your career, after

379

you make a bunch of money or whatever it

is, then settle down and have a family."

380

so when you're told that your whole

life, you're also told because you're

381

a woman that the cul- like, men don't

like you, the culture doesn't like you,

382

you're a second-class citizen, how are

you going to start to see the world?

383

Right?

384

Well, in two ways.

385

One, you're gonna be entitled because

you were just told your whole life

386

that you're supposed to be happy.

387

And listen, you are.

388

I'm not I'm not anti-happiness.

389

Like...

390

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

391

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

can do anything.

392

You can be anything, right?

393

If you just try your best.

394

I mean, that was the message I got.

395

And then on the other hand, but

you're not gonna make as much

396

money because you're a woman.

397

You're gonna be discriminated against

because you're a woman, and so you need

398

to rise up and overcome the patriarchy

so that you can become your full self.

399

I mean, I think that's something

that on one hand, what I've seen

400

is, like, we just love to tell women

what to do on, in one way or the

401

other.

402

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

403

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: I know

I really struggled becoming a mother.

404

It, and I never had anything

against being a mom.

405

wasn't somebody who was wanting that.

406

Like, deeply, I was like, "Oh, I just

can't wait to be a wife and a mother."

407

I just assumed I would

get married and have

408

children.

409

as I kinda dug into, like, why am

I grading against this so hard?

410

It's because the, the culture told me

my whole life I was the center of the

411

universe and I didn't, and I didn't, need

412

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yep.

413

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: And

I was watching this documentary on, uh,

414

screens and teenagers, it was called

Screenagers, and at the beginning, they

415

were going through the generations.

416

And so they were talking about their

chil- childhoods and the generations.

417

And as it got to the grandmother, who

was in her late 80s, she was like,

418

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

419

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

been carrying water on

420

the farm since I was two."

421

And I was like, and you know what?

422

I bet she had an easier time in

423

adulthood.

424

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm.

425

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Because if you want good things, if you

426

want to live a life of love, whether

it's in motherhood or not, like, what-

427

no matter what it is, if you want

to live the love God is calling you

428

to live and be genuinely fulfilled,

means you're going to have to one day

429

lay down some of your happiness for

430

someone else, and you're gonna get

431

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Oh, yeah.

432

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

But I think as women who are my age

433

and your age, we have been told the

opposite for so long, it's hard for

434

us to even come out of that paradigm.

435

And then in the Church, I feel like we've

almost swung the pendulum the other way.

436

You know?

437

It, like, we, like, your c- all,

your entire identity is locked up in

438

who you are as a wife and a mother,

439

and

440

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

441

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

to, you know, delay

442

children for an indefinite amount of time,

like, well, we have some judgment for you.

443

And

444

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

445

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

overstating it a little bit, but

446

for women in particular, I think

just the idea of, like, I am called.

447

Like, I was made by God, I'm loved by him.

448

I am fallen, means there are things in me

449

that I have to work on.

450

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

451

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

but also, like we talked

452

about, the way I see the world.

453

And then I have to discern with

God his plan for my life and be

454

obedient to that, and be confident in

455

that.

456

And that's gonna require me to look

different from the culture, and

457

it might actually require me to

look different from, uh, uh, some

458

of the other circles that I'm in.

459

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

460

And, and both may be good, you know?

461

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

462

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: that

you, you've brought up kinda that,

463

um, juxtaposition that I think so

many women are feeling today with

464

both voices of just like, you know,

quote, unquote, "Don't throw your

465

life away and be a wife and mom.

466

Like, go after your career and do

big things and be successful and

467

be the boss babe, and like own your

own business and do everything."

468

And then you've got like kinda the

more traditional side that like some

469

of our culture is leaning as well of

just like there's nothing absolutely

470

more important than you staying home,

and like if you ever would consider

471

not being 100% a stay-at-home mom, then

you're not prioritizing your family.

472

Which is just kinda the two extremes,

and I think a lot of women like

473

need to hear the wisdom of like

there may be a middle ground.

474

There may be a middle

ground, um, to, to do both.

475

Um, but so how do we discern the

difference between kinda these things

476

that we're consuming that are harmless

versus something that's actually forming

477

our worldview in an unhealthy way?

478

And I think that this is something

that even I've struggled with a

479

lot in the past too where I think

like, "Oh, I have great formation."

480

So like me watching The Bachelor and

Love is Blind all the time like isn't

481

actually doing anything because like

I know exactly what my values are.

482

You know what I mean?

483

Or like scrolling a ton on

social media and following

484

different accounts or whatever.

485

You know, I think sometimes we

think like it's just harmless.

486

It's just social media.

487

Like, it's just a 10-second video.

488

Like- Yeah ... what is

it really doing to me?

489

So I'm really curious to kinda hear your

thoughts on that, like what's actually

490

forming us versus what's something

that's kinda more harm- harmless.

491

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I think that's a great question.

492

What I have experienced in my

own life is self-knowledge,

493

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: girl.

494

I'm so the

495

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: So for

me, for example, listen to true crime.

496

Like, if I want to have nightmares,

497

I,

498

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: same.

499

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

on a good...

500

Yeah, I just...

501

It's not good for my spirit.

502

It's dark in what it is.

503

S-

504

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

505

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I'd probably go as far as I think most

506

people probably aren't made for it.

507

We weren't meant to live

mentally in those places.

508

However- Yeah.

509

...you have to know yourself.

510

My husband can watch horror

films in a, in, in, ingest

511

them in a very different way

512

than me, right?

513

And so for him, it's gonna be okay.

514

He actually can do it.

515

It's not, I don't know if I

would say- like, totally fine,

516

but

517

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

518

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

probably learn something from

519

it, and I'm sitting here, and

I'm just l- like, it j- I'm...

520

my spir- my spirit's way too sensitive.

521

Another thing, speaking of having

a sensitive spirit, right now

522

are so good at social media.

523

We're very good

524

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Thank you

525

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

especially in podcast land.

526

And so a lot of times there will

be so-and-so interviews a person

527

who was formerly in the Church

of Satan or formerly a Satanist.

528

I cannot tell you how many times I've

started those podcasts and had to turn

529

them off.

530

And it's not that there's anything wrong

necessarily with the content, because

531

they are trying to evangelize people.

532

It's coming from a good place,

but my spirit is too sensitive,

533

and I can f- I feel it.

534

And, and it gets to the point where I

wanna listen, 'cause it's sensational.

535

know, but I almost feel the

Holy Spirit saying, like, "Are

536

you gonna obey me or not?"

537

there's been a time or two

where I haven't obeyed,

538

and then it's stuck in my

539

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

540

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

that are just a little lighter and

541

also kinda dumb or just social media

in general, do you get on and compare

542

yourself to other people, right?

543

Is that your go-to,

544

or are you confident in who you are?

545

Like, there are certain accounts

where I never compare myself to them,

546

and it's kinda fun to watch them,

547

I find myself wishing I had their life,

thinking my life isn't good because

548

theirs is, thinking I'm a failure

'cause they're accomplishing something

549

in their career that I'm not, right?

550

That is actually pulling me away from

what I know God is calling me to, and

551

we need to be paying attention to those

552

things.

553

And then the other thing is

what sins do you struggle

554

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Sure.

555

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

had a huge story around chastity.

556

I mean, I've had some

struggles with it, but not...

557

I'm not a chastity speaker.

558

when I was a missionary, I started

watching Game of Thrones, 'cause it

559

was very popular, and I like fantasy

560

stuff.

561

And I knew I shouldn't be watching it.

562

I 100% knew I shouldn't be watching

it, and so what I would do is

563

every day I'd, like, go to bed,

I'd watch a couple episodes.

564

I'd wake up the next day, and I'd tell my

missionary, like my team director, "Hey,

565

just so you know, like, I watched this."

566

And I was totally going to confession.

567

After the second season,

568

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

569

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

ago, and I noticed it.

570

And then I was like,

"This is not good for me.

571

This is not good for me mentally.

572

It's not bringing me to a good mental

573

place."

574

And so for us to discern, there are

some things that are objectively wrong,

575

and they're promoting things that are

wrong, and we should stay away from those

576

things.

577

There are some things that might

feel like a mindless escape, and

578

I don't think there's anything

579

necessarily wrong with that

580

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

581

Yeah.

582

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

moderation.

583

are we forming a life where we

are actually pursuing What's

584

true, good, and beautiful.

585

then maybe every now and then, like,

Jared and I will scroll on, scroll

586

on his Instagram account some nights.

587

It's almost like a date

588

because his Instagram

algorithm is hilarious.

589

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

That is literally

590

That's literally Trey and I.

591

Like, that's literally Trey and I.

592

Like, his feed is so funny and mine

is all, like, helpful tools on how

593

to up-level your life or whatever,

and he's always like, "Why do you

594

always send me the boring reels?

595

Like, where are the funny ones?"

596

And I'm like, "I don't know.

597

I want funny content."

598

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

That's the same.

599

That, and so anytime there is a serious

reel on his, I'm like, "I've seen that one

600

already.

601

Let's move,"

602

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Yeah, same.

603

Same.

604

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

just silly.

605

There's nothing, there's nothing moral,

there's no moral statement necessarily,

606

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yep.

607

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

him and I, we will both end

608

up doubled over, cracking up.

609

good for our

610

marriage.

611

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

612

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

we limit the time that

613

we're on there scrolling?

614

Of

615

course.

616

but

617

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

618

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

where is this leading my mind?

619

Do I know myself well enough to

know what I can handle personally?

620

What sins do I struggle with that

this might be a trigger point for

621

me?

622

And then, am I co- and I confident

in who I am, like, who, who God made

623

me to be able to handle what's coming

624

my way?

625

Something that I like to do a

lot is I try to test what I'm

626

consuming against the gospel

627

message.

628

This is my podcast.

629

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: okay.

630

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

is, and I'll just use my favorite

631

example, although that podcast episode

was, like, number three, Meghan

632

Markle.

633

All right?

634

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

635

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

loves to hate Meghan Markle.

636

I,

637

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yep.

638

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I love following the royals.

639

I love following Meghan and Harry.

640

Like, I am not over here pontificating.

641

I love

642

that

643

stuff.

644

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yep.

645

Yep.

646

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

watching as their life unfolds a-

647

according to the media, and I'm

going, "Okay, why can't she win?

648

Why, like, why can't..."

649

W- I don't like her.

650

Many people don't like her.

651

Why can't she win?

652

And part, it's because

the g- the gospel is real.

653

It's because she was given a gift

of being brought into the royal

654

family.

655

That has responsibilities in it,

that has things that not good.

656

Obviously, there's disorder

657

there, but, but it's

also quite a privilege.

658

And then she single-handedly

the whole thing

659

up.

660

She's never acknowledged it.

661

She's never been hu- humble about

it whatsoever, and she just wants

662

to move on and become a celebrity.

663

Well, what I think of with that is

whenever Jesus says, "When you go and

664

take your gift to the altar and you

remember that your brother has something

665

against you, leave your gift at the altar

and go make amends with your brother,

666

and then come back and make your gift."

667

And what we're watching her is she's

trying to make a gift at the altar,

668

but she won't leave and go make

669

amends, and nobody's buying it.

670

And so I think if we know the gospel well

enough, if we know Jesus well enough,

671

we can actually engage in culture, pop

culture, and we can test it against

672

what we know to be true in the gospel.

673

And then it will strengthen what we know

because we see it unfolding in real time.

674

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Wow.

675

Yeah, that's such a unique perspective

and way, and way to look at it.

676

Um, and I think sometimes, like, we can

genuinely love Jesus, and still kind

677

of let these secular ways of thinking

embed themselves in our mind unknowingly.

678

How can we fight against that?

679

Like, how can we do that?

680

You know, how can we con- like, know the

gospel more so that our mind is formed in

681

that way, so that we can look at things

that are happening in our culture and

682

stack it up against that and not just fall

into the secular way of thinking because

683

that's-- those ways are-- they're loud.

684

They're loud, and they're easier to pick

up and easier to in-ingrain in our mind.

685

So what would you-- what

would be your advice there?

686

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I think that's a great point, and I

687

think part of it is because live in

a soundbite culture, and half-truths

688

sound really good in about four words.

689

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Oh, yeah.

690

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

love is love.

691

Okay, that-- who's gonna

argue with that ? You know?

692

I, I, I mean, I've-- if I thought,

I could think of a few more, but we

693

have these little quippy sayings, and

then they mean a bunch of different

694

things, but it's the short saying, and

we are only made for short content.

695

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

696

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

is a little more complicated.

697

The truth is a little more nuanced.

698

It requires us to have a little

longer of an attention span.

699

And so true.

700

So the first thing I-- do

we, do we know the truth?

701

I think that's the first question.

702

Do you have a prayer life?

703

Are you reading the scriptures?

704

Are you, are you listening to

voices who are seeking truth?

705

I think that's the first thing

is if you're going to be able to

706

test gospel or your own worldview,

what-whether it be secular or not,

707

against something else, you have to

know what that something else is.

708

So what did Jesus say?

709

What does the church teach?

710

And then when it comes to some of

these larger issues, know, 'cause

711

there's, there's just so much in the

culture right now about, you know,

712

transgender, homosexuality, politics,

a-and the left versus the right.

713

We already talked about feminism.

714

I mean, there's just so

715

many big conversations happening, and all

of us are learning something about them.

716

All of us are talking

about them in our side

717

conversations.

718

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yes.

719

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: And

then-- and what we want to be nice people.

720

That's what I want.

721

I'm not a fighter.

722

I d- I wanna be a good person, I

wanna be moral, I wanna be kind.

723

And so then the question is, if I

am learning the truth, and I bump

724

up against something I don't like,

it might be, why don't I like it?

725

And then could they have a point?

726

And what I mean by this is if you take,

okay, I have this particular stance, w-

727

it's a secular stance, whatever it is.

728

Play that out till the end.

729

Well, okay, if I live this way,

then I'll make this decision.

730

I'll do this thing.

731

Okay, am I happy at the end of

732

my life?

733

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

734

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

actually made a good life living like

735

this, believing this thing?

736

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

737

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

What the church says, maybe it

738

seems harder, maybe it seems meaner.

739

Okay, let's say I follow that.

740

I follow sacrificial love, all right?

741

For, for me sometimes that's...

742

I'm a, I'm a bit of a

career woman at heart.

743

If you

744

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

745

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

you would not see a career woman.

746

Like, you would see a girl who is

running from preschool performance

747

to jump on a podcast for an hour

and then go clean the upstairs.

748

And sometimes that can grate on

749

me,

750

Because I have been taught my whole

life I can do whatever I want and

751

accomplish whatever I want, and yet I

have six people who are forcing me not

752

to.

753

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

754

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

But if I were to leave them behind and

755

go after my quote unquote "Christian

756

career," now I'm a fraud.

757

Like immediately out of the gate,

I'm faking it, And if I make a lot

758

of money and I get deals I want or

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, do

759

I end up happy at the end when my

kids are going like, "But my mom

760

wasn't around"?

761

Or do I follow the way of love?

762

Do I follow what the church is calling

me to, what Jesus is calling me to and

763

say, "I'm gonna sacrifice for my family.

764

It's not always gonna be great.

765

It's not always gonna be easy.

766

How am I gonna feel when I'm 65?"

767

God willing, will have a good

relationship with my kids, have a

768

good relationship with my husband.

769

willing, they'll be practicing the faith.

770

Verdict's out, right?

771

But I'll be able to actually

enjoy the fruits of my

772

sacrifice.

773

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

774

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

with anything.

775

if the culture is teaching you

to live a certain way, you can

776

play that out till the end.

777

Will it lead me to

778

happiness?

779

If the church is telling you

to live a certain way, you can

780

play that out till the end.

781

Will that lead me to happiness?

782

And I think that can actually kind of

help us to figure out, okay, what's

783

real?

784

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Oh,

785

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: to, to

become a good person who's happy, my hope

786

for other people, then how do I do that?

787

And then I have one more thing to add.

788

I know I'm such a long rambler.

789

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

no, keep it coming.

790

It's so good.

791

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

a difference between, right, we

792

talk about, and we've talked about

it in focus before, but there's a

793

difference between the truth how I

treat individuals, and I think it's so

794

important.

795

So I can hold everything the Catholic

Church teaches about how to live,

796

about how to give my money, about how

to set up a family, how to follow the

797

Lord, about sexuality, all of it, I

can hold it dearly as true, and then

798

I can meet somebody who is very much

799

not living according to that

800

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

801

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Very kind.

802

not, I'm not, like, hurting

the truth over here.

803

I am being Jesus to the individual.

804

And that doesn't mean you let go of

the truth, but I think sometimes we

805

have a har- It's like, "Well, if I

believe all this, if I take it, then

806

I have to be mean to everybody."

807

Well, no you don't.

808

You just treat them with

respect, 'cause they're human.

809

And so I think that, that's sometimes

I think people get caught up in that.

810

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Totally, yeah Yeah, and I mean, those

811

are, those are the opportunities

Jesus gives us to evangelize, Right.

812

Like, to evangelize, like,

813

with our, with our life, and I

mean, we don't need to get into

814

all the tactics for evangelization.

815

That would be a whole nother podcast in

itself, but value-- exactly what you're

816

saying, like valuing that relationship

over you just proving a point.

817

And

818

I think especially when it comes

to trying to do that with other

819

Christians, 'cause like we said, like

there are a lot of Christians that,

820

like love Jesus very much, and yet

are kinda living in, in secular ways.

821

And I think, like, as, as Christians

striving to live a Christ-centered

822

life, it can be easy to kinda look at

them and be like, "What are you doing?"

823

You know?

824

And kinda come at it

825

from an abrasive standpoint.

826

But even there, like valuing the

relationship, building that relationship,

827

and slowly sharing the truth that

you hold so dearly with your life,

828

um, and so that there's openness to

kinda receive where you're coming

829

from and the testimony that you have.

830

And one thing that I just appreciate

about your approach is that you don't

831

just criticize the culture, but you

really try to understand kinda that deeper

832

longing people are searching for

underneath it, and this whole idea of

833

like play it out to the end and,

like, are you happy in the end?

834

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: think

835

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: exercise

836

reveals to ourselves what are those

deeper things that we're longing for.

837

What do we actually long for?

838

Because if we get to the end and we

realize we're not happy, then it's

839

like, "Oh, maybe I didn't actually

long for all that success and

840

being promoted and money."

841

Like, so then what is it

that I actually long for?

842

So can you talk a

843

little bit more about that?

844

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

good point that you bring up about

845

it revealing what you long for.

846

And with women in particular, and

again, and I'm glad you said I'm not

847

criticizing the culture, because I am...

848

I, I talk about the culture 'cause in

a certain sense, I- it's not like I am

849

the culture, but I love the culture.

850

I, I like following a lot of trends.

851

I don't, I don't take part in most

of them because, I don't know,

852

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

853

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

don't But I like following them,

854

I like seeing what's happening.

855

I was watching everybody's outfit at the

856

Met

857

Gala and

858

judging

859

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

860

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: Like,

861

these are things I, I,

862

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally.

863

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: them.

864

For women in particular, mean,

we long to be loved, and I think

865

we really long to be seen as

866

beautiful.

867

I think those are two things for

women that we, a lot of ways,

868

don't believe that we're lovable.

869

And I do believe most women,

even, even if you're the most-

870

Physically beautiful specimen.

871

Most women do not look in

the mirror and see their

872

own beauty well.

873

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: mm-hmm.

874

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I wrote a talk years ago and

875

where I talked about this.

876

Basically, what I said was that

God made each one of us to bring

877

people to Him through our beauty.

878

And I'm not talking about physical

beauty necessarily, I'm talking about the

879

beauty that's part of who we are in our

880

nature.

881

But because of the fall, what we as

women do, we can't see our own beauty,

882

and w- we use it in distorted ways.

883

we use it to, to own people, we use it

to manipulate people, things like that,

884

instead of using it to be a self-gift

and to bring people to know Jesus.

885

What ends up happening is that look

in the mirror and we hate what we

886

see, and we wish it was different.

887

But then we walk out the door and we see

other women, and we see their beauty.

888

We have no

889

problem,

890

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

891

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: women

who can walk in my, my door, and maybe

892

they're

893

not

894

physically a supermodel, but because

of who they are, because of how

895

they serve, because of their humor,

just because of their personality,

896

I find them so beautiful, right?

897

And, and all of us, it's easy for us to do

898

this.

899

And so because of that, um-

I think that's what we chase.

900

I think we chase wanting to be loved.

901

I think we chase wanting to feel

beautiful, which is why so many of the

902

trends and the secular ways of thinking

enter in and take over, And so, right,

903

some of the beauty trends, some of the

messages that we receive, some of the

904

messages even about sex, like we haven't

even talked about that, about w- the

905

worldview on female-male relationships

right now are sexual and how they're so

906

disordered.

907

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

908

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

It's because in our heart of hearts,

909

we long to be loved, but we're chasing

after it in distorted ways, and we're

910

using it to ma- manipulate people

in our lives, we long to be seen as

911

beautiful and see ourselves as beautiful.

912

The thing about Eve in the garden

that what the devil offered her,

913

God had already offered to her.

914

He had already given her everything she

915

wanted.

916

He had already made her like Him, right?

917

That was the, that was the lie.

918

The enemy was saying, "Oh, if you

eat this apple, you will be like God.

919

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yeah.

920

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: evil."

921

And God is saying, "I

922

" already did that.

923

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

I have made you in my

924

likeness from the beginning.

925

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

my image and likeness, for you to

926

experience the goodness and the fruit

of that, you have to do it my way."

927

And the enemy said, "You can have what

God wants to give you, but you can do it

928

your way."

929

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

930

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: And

931

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Puts you at the center.

932

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

What'd you say?

933

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

It puts you at the center.

934

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

It puts you at the center.

935

And so for us, the love, the feeling

beautiful, powerful, accomplished,

936

seen in those, the eyes of the world,

God has already given it all to us.

937

It's at our disposal right now.

938

All we have to do is know Him and

allow Him to just mirror it back to

939

us and believe the things He says

940

to us,

941

right?

942

Even if someone's listening

and they're like, "Mallory, you

943

don't know the mistakes I made."

944

Well, you know what?

945

You don't know the

mistakes I've made okay?

946

Even if you're in a place where you feel

broken and you feel unworthy, and you, you

947

feel like you can't be lovable or you, you

really are not beautiful, those are lies.

948

God has given you everything

you need from Him today.

949

And so anything that the culture is

selling us, a lot of times they're

950

selling us the way the enemy sold to

951

Eve.

952

You

953

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Yep.

954

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

everything the Lord's already

955

given it to you, but you can

have it on your own terms.

956

And I think for us, we

really need to be careful

957

about that.

958

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Mm-hmm.

959

That's beautiful.

960

Um, yeah.

961

So one of my questions I was gonna ask,

so we'll just jump to that now, was

962

what are some of the cultural messages

that women are hearing constantly

963

today that sound really good on the

surface, but are actually leading us

964

away from freedom and flourishing?

965

And I think it's important to really

name those and say those out loud

966

because sometimes we don't realize,

like, what it's actually saying to us.

967

And one of those, I forgot how you

worded what you just said at the end.

968

Do you remember how you worded that.

969

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

You can have what God wants

970

to give you, but you, on

971

your own terms.

972

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528:

Oh, yeah, exactly.

973

That is for sure one of them.

974

Are there other messages like that,

that you're like, "Yes, like women

975

need to know, like these are lies.

976

These are not actually leading

them to freedom and flourishing"?

977

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

So that was one of them.

978

You, you are the center of your universe.

979

You are the center of your

980

own world.

981

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Hmm.

982

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528: is what

you make it to be, so you can actually

983

think reality into being, is a big thing

984

with manifesting and with

985

mari-wagner_1_05-20-2026_114528: Totally

986

mallory-smyth_1_05-20-2026_114528:

of the New Age movement things.

987

If I think it, if I place myself in

it, I can have it, Which again, puts

988

me at the center and makes it about

me and serving my selfish desires.

989

Now, this is a tangent, but

the issue with manifesting is

990

it's really close to prayer.

991

Like, and it really...

992

Like, if you have a positive world,

you, you will have a happier life.

993

If you pray for things,

the Lord will give you

994

good things.

995

The difference is you're

putting yourself at the center.

996

You're taking what the Lord wants to give

you on your own terms and not willing

997

to follow maybe a road of sacrifice

998

to get there.

999

Um, what did I just say?

00:40:59,586 --> 00:41:04,756

I said, "The world is about

you, you're at the center of it.

00:41:05,326 --> 00:41:06,866

Reality is what you make

00:41:06,866 --> 00:41:07,116

it."

00:41:07,886 --> 00:41:11,556

I think your present decisions

don't matter for the future.

00:41:12,886 --> 00:41:16,346

You can make decisions, you

can have certain behaviors,

00:41:16,726 --> 00:41:18,366

and you can actually do those

00:41:18,493 --> 00:41:22,493

00:41:22,556 --> 00:41:23,316

They're not gonna affect whether

00:41:23,316 --> 00:41:24,256

you're happy or depressed.

00:41:24,586 --> 00:41:26,226

They're not gonna affect

your bank account.

00:41:26,226 --> 00:41:30,236

They're not gonna affect your future,

when in reality, the decisions you make

00:41:30,236 --> 00:41:33,846

today actually do matter for tomorrow,

and so we should try to make them with a

00:41:33,846 --> 00:41:35,486

discerning spirit and a heart of virtue.

00:41:37,066 --> 00:41:41,876

Um, s- is disposable, right?

00:41:41,876 --> 00:41:46,826

And I know from what I've heard, Gen

Z, like younger Gen Z is actually

00:41:46,826 --> 00:41:51,016

not very sexually active, but it

seems like it comes from a disordered

00:41:51,016 --> 00:41:53,306

understanding of what the beauty of sex.

00:41:54,066 --> 00:41:55,816

it's just become something either way.

00:41:55,866 --> 00:41:58,396

Either I'm gonna do a lot of it because

it doesn't matter and I'm gonna throw

00:41:58,396 --> 00:41:58,826

it away,

00:41:59,613 --> 00:41:59,963

00:42:00,616 --> 00:42:01,606

I don't care about it at

00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:03,326

all, so it doesn't matter.

00:42:03,326 --> 00:42:03,516

I'm

00:42:03,516 --> 00:42:04,566

not gonna participate.

00:42:05,266 --> 00:42:08,556

it actually doesn't bring you into any

sort of true relationship with another

00:42:08,556 --> 00:42:13,136

person, you know, in, within the

confines of a covenantal vow where

00:42:13,136 --> 00:42:14,246

you're committing never to leave.

00:42:15,096 --> 00:42:18,106

So, and I think that really

messes with people, and I think

00:42:18,106 --> 00:42:19,676

it really messes with women.

00:42:21,186 --> 00:42:26,006

Whenever you have the message that I can

engage with promiscuous sex like a man,

00:42:26,756 --> 00:42:29,756

and I'm gonna be just fine, it's a lie.

00:42:30,933 --> 00:42:31,253

00:42:31,296 --> 00:42:31,546

00:42:32,286 --> 00:42:36,106

And when I was in my early 20s, and

I had gone through my conversion,

00:42:36,856 --> 00:42:39,966

and I was living a chaste life,

but I knew a lot of girls who were

00:42:39,966 --> 00:42:41,416

not, and they were my friends.

00:42:41,766 --> 00:42:42,686

I loved them.

00:42:42,916 --> 00:42:44,606

Like we were, we were buds.

00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:49,206

I saw what the culture didn't

see, 'cause one of them was my

00:42:49,253 --> 00:42:49,513

00:42:50,186 --> 00:42:51,456

And so I would see what happened

00:42:51,456 --> 00:42:52,726

behind closed doors when that guy

00:42:52,726 --> 00:42:53,266

left

00:42:54,071 --> 00:42:55,871

And there was no way she

could tell me that she had g-

00:42:55,871 --> 00:42:57,291

gotten girl power out of that.

00:42:57,941 --> 00:43:00,131

So I think that's one of the

messages that we receive.

00:43:00,131 --> 00:43:03,411

I think if you're not physically

beautiful or if you don't have the

00:43:03,411 --> 00:43:08,881

right k- like, on-trend clothing

right, like p- you know, not gonna be

00:43:08,881 --> 00:43:10,101

cool, you're not gonna be on trend.

00:43:10,131 --> 00:43:10,761

I think that is

00:43:10,761 --> 00:43:11,161

one.

00:43:12,103 --> 00:43:12,703

00:43:12,761 --> 00:43:13,651

I'm trying to think of what...

00:43:13,651 --> 00:43:16,491

Are, are there any that you- come

to your mind that I'm missing?

00:43:17,797 --> 00:43:19,307

think just the other one that we talked

00:43:19,307 --> 00:43:25,862

about was, was just that, um, that at

the beginning of just like family like

00:43:25,862 --> 00:43:27,402

family life will throw your life away.

00:43:27,402 --> 00:43:31,002

You know, like kind of prioritize like

your life and your dreams first before

00:43:31,002 --> 00:43:36,752

family, and also even the other extreme of

just like your dreams have to be put aside

00:43:36,752 --> 00:43:38,442

so that you can be a wife and mother.

00:43:38,442 --> 00:43:41,932

So I, I think that one is one that

women, um, are honestly just constantly

00:43:41,932 --> 00:43:44,182

being rattled by, like thrown around.

00:43:44,182 --> 00:43:45,012

Like which one is it?

00:43:45,012 --> 00:43:45,722

Which one is it?

00:43:47,244 --> 00:43:48,544

Yeah, I think that's a huge one.

00:43:48,544 --> 00:43:53,164

And I think on the heel of that,

in the secular culture, not just

00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:55,454

marriage, but children specifically,

00:43:56,242 --> 00:43:56,942

Absolutely.

00:43:57,644 --> 00:43:59,214

they're they're fun suckers.

00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:01,454

They're gonna dampen

your ability to travel.

00:44:01,874 --> 00:44:04,424

Do- like, whatever you do, don't

00:44:04,424 --> 00:44:05,114

have kids.

00:44:05,744 --> 00:44:05,794

Uh,

00:44:05,942 --> 00:44:06,342

00:44:07,194 --> 00:44:11,074

on that note, a few years ago, I, I'm not

00:44:11,074 --> 00:44:14,964

on TikTok because I'm a millennial, and I

know a lot of millennials are on it, but I

00:44:14,964 --> 00:44:16,384

just, it's like a grandmother with email.

00:44:16,424 --> 00:44:17,284

I can't do it.

00:44:17,574 --> 00:44:21,124

And but I did see a, maybe I

was on it or maybe I saw it

00:44:21,264 --> 00:44:22,674

on an article, but there was a

00:44:22,982 --> 00:44:23,172

00:44:23,254 --> 00:44:25,754

that had gone viral, and it

00:44:25,754 --> 00:44:28,794

was a girl getting proposed to.

00:44:29,184 --> 00:44:30,074

That was the scene.

00:44:30,174 --> 00:44:33,664

So the guy knelt down on her knee,

on his knee with a ring, and she

00:44:33,664 --> 00:44:37,874

was thinking about saying yes,

but then it flashed forward to her

00:44:37,874 --> 00:44:41,654

life, and it was her cleaning, you

know, on the ground scrubbing the

00:44:41,654 --> 00:44:45,334

floor, her cooking, her holding a

baby, her, and like so exhausted,

00:44:45,334 --> 00:44:46,514

so tired, and she

00:44:46,514 --> 00:44:46,744

said

00:44:46,744 --> 00:44:47,024

no.

00:44:48,052 --> 00:44:48,912

00:44:49,014 --> 00:44:49,114

00:44:49,114 --> 00:44:49,854

myself,

00:44:50,274 --> 00:44:52,424

"That is so dangerous,"

00:44:53,002 --> 00:44:53,692

00:44:54,724 --> 00:44:55,744

that was my life.

00:44:55,954 --> 00:44:57,964

I'm like, "That's, she,

they depicted it perfectly."

00:44:58,304 --> 00:45:01,394

Like, but they took out

any of the fulfillment,

00:45:01,694 --> 00:45:02,234

any of the

00:45:02,234 --> 00:45:02,694

beauty,

00:45:03,442 --> 00:45:05,302

They didn't show the good parts.

00:45:05,454 --> 00:45:06,184

Exactly.

00:45:06,804 --> 00:45:10,814

And if women are being fed that,

why would they choose to sacrifice

00:45:10,814 --> 00:45:11,884

for their future children?

00:45:13,112 --> 00:45:13,612

Absolutely.

00:45:13,912 --> 00:45:14,522

I mean, it's...

00:45:14,562 --> 00:45:19,252

The thing that, comparison that comes

to mind is like if you tell a woman

00:45:19,252 --> 00:45:23,622

just like all the horror birth stories

of how hard it is to give birth, but

00:45:23,622 --> 00:45:27,652

you never share the beauty of having

children and loving your child, like you

00:45:27,652 --> 00:45:28,748

think they're gonna wanna have a kid?

00:45:29,092 --> 00:45:30,142

Like no.

00:45:30,512 --> 00:45:32,412

Like we need to be able to share both.

00:45:32,412 --> 00:45:32,782

So

00:45:33,024 --> 00:45:33,394

00:45:33,462 --> 00:45:34,212

absolutely.

00:45:34,212 --> 00:45:35,062

That is a big one.

00:45:35,672 --> 00:45:37,632

So I wonder, like if there's

women who are listening Right.

00:45:37,632 --> 00:45:40,912

now, or maybe they know, they have

friends, like if there's light bulbs going

00:45:40,912 --> 00:45:45,202

off of like, "Oh, I have totally believed

that in the past," or like, "Yeah, like

00:45:45,252 --> 00:45:49,462

that's actually something I've been living

by," like how can we speak to these women?

00:45:49,462 --> 00:45:54,142

What are some signs that they can

be looking for in their hearts to-

00:45:54,597 --> 00:45:58,967

Kind of point them like, are, am

I being discipled by the culture?

00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:02,367

Am I being discipled by social

media, by the media I'm consuming

00:46:02,439 --> 00:46:03,279

00:46:03,767 --> 00:46:05,697

discipled by the gospel and

00:46:06,047 --> 00:46:07,757

our church and our faith?

00:46:08,020 --> 00:46:12,817

Um, and how can they stay grounded

in truth while still, like you were

00:46:12,817 --> 00:46:15,687

saying, engaging in the culture and

engaging in the world around us?

00:46:15,967 --> 00:46:19,427

Because I do think there's something to

be said about, like, we don't wanna become

00:46:19,427 --> 00:46:20,927

like hermits that live under a rock.

00:46:20,977 --> 00:46:23,157

Like, that's also not healthy and

00:46:23,587 --> 00:46:26,337

not good to not engage in the culture.

00:46:26,337 --> 00:46:29,617

Like, we want to be, like they say,

like in the world, but not of the world.

00:46:29,937 --> 00:46:31,817

Um, So how can you do that?

00:46:33,329 --> 00:46:35,509

So if anyone's listening who their

00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:39,569

heart is being pinged or, or something

that I said or you said resonates

00:46:39,569 --> 00:46:43,289

with them, I, I think first pay

attention to that write it down.

00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:48,629

I'm a big journaler, and what journaling

does for me, even in my busy life, is it

00:46:48,629 --> 00:46:50,829

actually helps me distill everything else.

00:46:51,689 --> 00:46:54,859

And so something that I do, for

example, to keep, to keep renewing

00:46:54,859 --> 00:46:58,839

my mind, is I will go to bed at

night, I will write down my day.

00:46:59,189 --> 00:47:00,499

I always wish it was more poetic.

00:47:00,529 --> 00:47:00,959

It's not.

00:47:01,399 --> 00:47:06,819

But the reason that I do that is

for me to see that 80% of my day was

00:47:06,819 --> 00:47:07,339

excellent.

00:47:08,499 --> 00:47:12,429

And if I don't re- that, then

all I'll think about is what was

00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,469

negative, and I'll

00:47:13,787 --> 00:47:14,617

That is so

00:47:14,829 --> 00:47:15,019

00:47:15,857 --> 00:47:20,259

And, And, tru- And so I'll tell you,

the first time I did this, I decided

00:47:20,259 --> 00:47:23,359

I was gonna do it, and we had the

northern lights here in Colorado.

00:47:23,359 --> 00:47:24,659

I don't know if you remember this.

00:47:25,709 --> 00:47:26,259

And so I was

00:47:26,297 --> 00:47:26,427

00:47:26,559 --> 00:47:29,029

upstairs, and we were looking for it.

00:47:29,029 --> 00:47:30,199

It was really hard to see.

00:47:30,419 --> 00:47:32,389

But if you put your phone

up, you could see it really.

00:47:33,189 --> 00:47:35,009

And then that was that,

and I put them all to

00:47:35,257 --> 00:47:35,377

00:47:35,569 --> 00:47:37,299

and then I eventually went and I

00:47:37,299 --> 00:47:40,229

laid down and I wrote in my journal,

"Tonight, for the first time in my

00:47:40,229 --> 00:47:41,459

life, I saw the northern lights."

00:47:42,439 --> 00:47:43,209

And I was about to

00:47:43,209 --> 00:47:43,959

keep going,

00:47:44,389 --> 00:47:48,489

and I was, I stopped and I was

like, like, "This is a big deal."

00:47:49,359 --> 00:47:52,349

never seen the northern lights, and

though they weren't spectacular as

00:47:52,349 --> 00:47:55,909

if I was up, way up north, but they

were beautiful, and what a moment.

00:47:56,559 --> 00:47:56,929

And had I

00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:57,267

00:47:57,579 --> 00:47:59,509

down to distill that out, I

00:47:59,509 --> 00:48:00,609

would have just kept going.

00:48:01,399 --> 00:48:02,909

would've just been something in my day.

00:48:02,909 --> 00:48:04,799

I wouldn't even have

thought twice about it.

00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:11,029

And so for people who are listening,

something is pinging you, don't move on.

00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:13,459

mean, you don't have to

stop right now and journal.

00:48:13,739 --> 00:48:15,039

You can drop to your knees if you want.

00:48:15,039 --> 00:48:16,229

That'd probably be a good thing to do.

00:48:16,229 --> 00:48:20,229

But pocket it in your back

pocket, and when you get a

00:48:20,229 --> 00:48:23,299

moment, sit down, write it out.

00:48:23,299 --> 00:48:25,649

Say, like, what, what was

bothering me about that interview?

00:48:25,649 --> 00:48:27,739

What, what was making

me think more deeply?

00:48:27,829 --> 00:48:29,829

What was I, whereas I agreeing with?

00:48:29,829 --> 00:48:31,199

Something, whatever stood out to you.

00:48:31,889 --> 00:48:33,729

And then just, "Lord, what do you want?

00:48:33,899 --> 00:48:35,349

Why did this stand out to me?

00:48:35,349 --> 00:48:36,669

What do you wanna say to me here?

00:48:37,569 --> 00:48:39,629

What do you wanna tell

me about this thing?

00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:41,709

Okay, now what do you want me to do?"

00:48:43,039 --> 00:48:47,154

And so- God willing,

something will come to you.

00:48:47,814 --> 00:48:51,504

you know, I've heard the Lord audibly

once in my life, so I don't know.

00:48:51,584 --> 00:48:53,114

He could speak audibly to you.

00:48:53,144 --> 00:48:55,794

He will speak to your heart in

some way, and you might already

00:48:55,794 --> 00:48:56,774

have that truth within you.

00:48:56,804 --> 00:48:58,684

You know there's a habit

you need to change.

00:48:59,434 --> 00:49:04,634

then beyond that, my challenge to your

listeners and my-- it's a challenge

00:49:04,634 --> 00:49:08,244

to me, too, is to up-level some of

the culture and the media you consume.

00:49:09,074 --> 00:49:09,524

So

00:49:09,584 --> 00:49:10,784

try to make the