AI and divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coaching, divorce options, collaborative divorce, and DIY divorce—this episode explores how artificial intelligence can help you navigate divorce while avoiding costly mistakes.

Artificial intelligence is changing the way people gather information, organize documents, prepare for meetings, and communicate during divorce. But can AI actually help you make better divorce decisions?

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski explores the benefits and limitations of using AI during divorce. You'll learn how AI can help you understand the divorce process, organize financial information, prepare for mediation, communicate more effectively, and explore your legal options.

You'll also discover where AI falls short and why divorce still requires human wisdom, professional guidance, and thoughtful decision-making.

Whether you're considering mediation, collaborative divorce, working with attorneys, or handling parts of your divorce yourself, this episode will help you understand how to use AI as a powerful tool without relying on it as your only source of support.

Remember: AI can provide information, but it cannot replace wisdom, experience, or human connection.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction: Can AI Help You Through Divorce?

(02:12) How AI Can Help You Understand Divorce

(05:48) Using AI to Organize Financial Documents and Information

(08:15) Preparing for Mediation, Coaching, and Attorney Meetings

(11:10) How AI Can Improve Communication During Divorce

(15:02) The Biggest Limitations of AI in Divorce

(19:15) Why AI Can't Negotiate or Mediate for You

(23:20) Understanding Your Divorce Options

(24:05) DIY Divorce: When It May Work and When It Doesn't

(27:18) The Benefits of Divorce Mediation

(30:12) Working with Attorneys and Limited-Scope Legal Services

(33:05) Collaborative Divorce Explained

(35:50) When Litigation May Be Necessary

(39:12) The Best Ways to Use AI During Divorce

(42:08) Final Thoughts: Information vs. Wisdom

Key Takeaways

• AI is an excellent tool for education, organization, brainstorming, and preparation during divorce.

• AI can help you communicate more effectively but cannot replace real conversations, negotiation, or mediation.

• Divorce laws vary by state, and AI-generated legal information should always be verified.

• Mediation, collaborative divorce, and attorney support each serve different needs depending on your situation.

• The best outcomes happen when you combine technology with experienced human guidance.

Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Roadmap

• Divorce Clarity Session

• Divorce Comeback Community

• Minnesota DIY Divorce Course

• Divorce Mediation Services with Lesa Koski

Connect with Lesa:

Website: www.lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords

AI and divorce, artificial intelligence divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coaching, divorce help, divorce process, collaborative divorce, mediation vs attorney, divorce options, Minnesota divorce, DIY divorce, child custody, divorce support, women over 40 divorce, divorce planning, divorce recovery, divorce education, divorce communication, family law, divorce advice

Welcome back to Doing Divorce Different Today we're gonna talk about

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a topic that's really changing a lot.

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It's artificial intelligence, or AI.

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So specifically, we're gonna talk about

how AI can help you during your divorce.

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So before we really dig into

this, I just wanna say that AI

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is a really incredible tool.

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I use it, many of my clients use

it, and I believe it can help

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people save time, money, and stress.

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But AI is still a tool.

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It's not a mediator, it's not a therapist,

it's not a judge, and it definitely

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is not a replacement for wisdom.

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So today I wanna talk about what AI

does really well, where it might fall

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a little bit short, and how you can

combine AI with real human support

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so you can make the best decisions

possible during your divorce.

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Okay, so let's get started.

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So AI can help you understand divorce.

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So one of the biggest fears that a lot

of clients have when they're divorcing is

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simply not knowing what they don't know.

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Like, what happens first?

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How is property divided?

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What's mediation?

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What's collaborative divorce?

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What does child support look like?

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What does spousal maintenance mean?

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So years ago, people would spend hours

searching websites trying to find

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answers, and today you can literally

ask AI, "Explain mediation to me like

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I'm 12," or, "What is the difference

between a mediator and an attorney?"

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Or, "What happens in a Minnesota divorce?"

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And within seconds you

have a starting point.

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So notice what I said, a starting

point, and it's a good one.

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And you can even go in, um, and ask,

like, specifically in your state, what

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are the lows- laws surrounding it.

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Now, I wouldn't count on it, but I

would use it to help educate yourself.

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I mean, it's part of

the education process.

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It's pulling together information,

um, that you will use together

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with other information.

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I would make sure to get

supporting, um, like, especially

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that legal information, and so…

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But it is, it's a great start.

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A great start.

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And I love that because informed

people make better decisions, and

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knowledge just seems to kind of

alleviate a little bit of fear.

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So one of the things that AI's really good

at is helping you organize information.

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And when you go through something hard

like divorce, there's lots of paperwork.

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There's, like, bank statements

and retirement accounts and

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credit cards and budgets and tax

returns, insurance documents.

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So sometimes people can feel

kind of buried, and AI can help

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you organize that information.

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You can just say, "Help me create

a list of financial documents I

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need for divorce," or, "Create a

spreadsheet of a- Assets and debts.

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Now this is stuff that I've always

been able to give people, but I

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think you can get that from AI.

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So here's another thing.

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You can say, "Help me prepare

questions for my attorney."

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So that's like a awesome way to use AI.

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So AI is a starting point that can

help you feel less overwhelmed and

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more organized, and that is a way

to kind of be able to take a deep

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breath and get yourself started so

that you can make good decisions.

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So another thing that I love

about AI is that it can help you

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prepare for meetings, and this is

kind of one of my favorite uses.

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So before a mediation, coaching, or

attorney meeting, you can just go in

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and say, "What questions should I ask?

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What information should I gather?

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What are common concerns during

a divorce involving teenagers or

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toddlers or babies or seniors?"

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You know, whatever it is.

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"What should I think about before

discussing parenting schedules?"

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And AI can help you brainstorm.

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I use it so much for brainstorming.

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Even like when I'm decorating in

my house, I'll use it to brainstorm

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where to hang certain pictures.

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But so you can use it for that

brainstorming process to help you think.

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I don't want it to think for

us, I want it to help us expand.

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So when you do this homework before a

meeting, sometimes people can walk into

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those meetings feeling much more prepared.

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That just helps having that confidence

and feeling prepared and you know that

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you're gonna ask good questions and

you're ready beforehand, so that just

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gives you a little sigh of relief.

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I kind of think that AI can

help you communicate better.

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And what I'm talking about is like

sometimes when my parents are arguing,

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there's all kinds of apps that can

help you communicate with co-parents.

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But you can even say like, "Can you

help me write a respectful, kind

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email to my soon-to-be ex-spouse?"

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It can, it can help you be less

emotional and really look at things

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better, and that's important.

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It can make things sound professional,

and I think this is really good when

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emotions are high because sometimes we

don't realize how we're coming off, and

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this is just someone to kind of proofread

what you're doing or give you some ideas.

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So I mean, I have sometimes written

texts or emails to a loved one and I

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wish I hadn't sent them after I did, and

I never thought I would feel that way.

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I thought I was kind of careful,

but I didn't realize how it

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could be taken the wrong way.

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So AI can just help us slow down

a little bit, and I think it helps

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us communicate a little bit better.

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So here's where we're gonna talk

about it, it getting a little bit

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tricky, and there's some limitations.

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Because this is really important because

I do want you to know, I do have clients

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that come to me who say, "Well, we got

our forms on AI, and we're doing this,"

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and they're coming to me with a m- maybe

a Minnesota divorce, and I'm asking them

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questions, and it's clear that they don't

have the correct paperwork, and that…

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I mean, they just tried

to use it for everything.

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Um, so it has its limitations.

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And I mean, that's where, like, I have

that Minnesota do it yourself course where

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you actually get the paperwork, and I'm

there in videos walking you through it.

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So just be a little bit careful

'cause there's limitations.

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There's different states, and

sometimes it doesn't have all

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that paperwork together yet.

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So, and it, you know, it's weird

because it can sound really confident,

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like, yes, this is how, how it is.

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But sometimes it shouldn't

be that confident because the

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information isn't always accurate.

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So, you know, just remember, laws vary

by state, and every family is unique.

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Every financial situation is different.

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Every kiddo is different.

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So AI can provide you with that

information that sounds right

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sometimes but isn't right for

your specific circumstances.

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So it just means when you're

making important decisions,

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they should always be verified.

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So just ex- especially when

they're, like, legal or financial.

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So just make sure that you verify that

with a legal professional or someone who's

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in the know about finances and divorce.

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So here's another thing,

AI can't negotiate for you.

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So I think people can misunderstand AI.

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So they can help you prepare

for difficult conversations, but

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they can't have the conversation.

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So it can suggest what to say, but it

also doesn't see your spouse's reaction

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or know your spouse like you do.

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It can't hear tones of voice.

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It doesn't know that emotion in real time.

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So it…

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You need that human.

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We're co- we're complicated.

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Humans are complicated, and this

is one of my, one of my gifts.

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I mean, I love sitting with people

and helping them communicate

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better, and sometimes it's hard.

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But sometimes you need that person

because relationships are so complicated,

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and negotiation is complicated.

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And I feel like when there's a, when

you have, like, a really good mediator

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or attorney in there helping you

understand what the true issues are

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for each other and really listening

to each other, it just helps, helps

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you compromise and negotiate so

much better, and you need a person.

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You need a person there

for that at this point.

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There's not an AI robot that can

do that that I know of right now.

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So, and it also obviously can't replace

a mediation because, uh, I mean, I just

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feel like mediators, when you have a

good one, and that's the thing, you have

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to interview them and make sure you're

getting someone who understands the law,

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um Who's not too much of an attorney,

who's not gonna help you communicate well.

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So, so I see tremendous value in that

human support and helping you communicate.

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So my job when I work with people,

it is to give legal information,

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but it's more than that.

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It's helping you have conversations.

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It's helping you explore options, because

I've done hundreds and thousands of these.

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I've seen how people, um, have done

things, and I can throw them out at you.

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I am not the one making the decision,

but I can help you brainstorm ideas that

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I've seen work for people in the past.

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So, I can help you understand what matters

most, and I can explain the whole process.

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So, so AI can explain…

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I'm sorry.

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AI can explain the process probably

just as good as I can, the whole

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mediation process, but it cannot mediate.

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It can't sit in a room and help people.

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So, use it to find out what

medi- mediation is and what you

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should expect from your mediator.

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But don't…

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You, you can't use it because that's

still a human skill that's needed.

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So, I just want you to understand, too,

your options when you're going through

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a divorce because usually when people

w- wanna have a consultation with me,

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they wanna know, how does this work?

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And this is…

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These are the options that I give people.

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So, and, you know, it's just

never one size fits all.

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It depends on how much

hand-holding you want.

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It depends on how comfortable

you are doing things on your own.

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It does not have to be scary, and

you can pick what works best for you.

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So some people, when they have really

simple situations and there's no

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children and there's not a lot of assets

and they're in completed agreement,

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I think AI can be a big help in

understanding the forms and procedures.

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And go to that county and look

for the paperwork on a website.

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Some counties do a better job.

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Um, but see if you can

look at that paperwork.

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But just remember, that paperwork matters,

and mistakes can be really expensive.

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So just be diligent.

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But, you know, like I said,

if it's kinda simple…

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And sometimes you think

it's simple, and it's not.

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So I just wanna be clear on that because

when you enter into a divorce, you are

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entering into a business agreement,

basically, and you share everything.

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So even if you say, "Ah, this is mine

and this is hers," it's- Not, it's

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both of yours and, um, you do need

to make sure that the court is aware

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of all your assets, and you need

to show how you're dividing them.

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So simple sometimes isn't

as simple as you think.

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So mediation is where I spend my life,

most of my life, and this is where…

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I think it's, like, I love

it because I think it's less

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expensive, it's less adversarial.

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You know, it's more collaborative.

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We're working together.

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It doesn't mean it's always easy,

but someone like me will help you

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with, facilitate those conversations.

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Um, because of my legal background,

I can give you legal information.

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I do not give you advice because

I'm not acting as your attorney.

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So a good mediator is not

gonna make decisions for you.

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They are going to help you

make the decisions together.

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So, A, like I said, AI

can help you prepare.

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The mediator helps you move forward.

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So another way that you can go through a

divorce is you can each hire an attorney

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and, um Many people and some, uh, not

all attorneys do this, but many people

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realize, "Well, maybe we can do this

paperwork together, and then we can

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hire an attorney on a limited scope to

just go through it and file it for us."

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Sometimes you can do that.

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So you don't always have to

necessarily hand over the entire

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project to an attorney, but you can.

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So you can have them answer

questions, provide legal

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guidance, review your agreements.

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Um, you can do that, and sometimes

you need to each hire attorneys, and

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that's when there can be issues, which

I'll talk about a little bit later.

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You can hire attorneys when you

both want to work together but you

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want a little more hand-holding, and

that's collaborative divorce, and

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it's great for the right families.

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So in collaborative divorce, both spouses

have a specifically trained attorney in

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collaborative law, and everyone agrees to

work toward a settlement outside of court.

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So, so often there are, like, financial

neutrals and divorce coaches and other

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people involved, and the focus is to

problem-solving rather than fighting.

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So in that situation, you could use AI

to educate you about collaborative law,

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but then you need that collaborative

law team to actually do the work.

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So before I was talking about

collaborative law, I talked about how

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sometimes we do traditional litigation

where you each need to hire attorneys

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and sometimes court is necessary.

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Oftentimes it's not, but sometimes

it is, and here's when it is: If

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there's abuse, if someone's hiding

assets, if there's safety concerns,

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if there is an unwilling participant.

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I think I forgot to mention this.

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When you are mediating,

you both have to agree.

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It can't just be that one

person wants to mediate.

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It's a voluntary situation.

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So if the other person isn't

gonna mediate, then you've

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got to hire attorneys.

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If it's a really high-conflict

situation, sometimes you've gotta

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go with attorneys because they're

gonna be doing the fight for you.

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It's gonna be more expensive.

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You know, I believe in working together as

best you can because I think how you end

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one thing is how you start a- another, and

I think it's so much better for the kids.

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But I just have to let you know

that, I mean, attorneys and

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litigation sometimes is necessary.

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Sometimes people just need

judicial intervention, and

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there's no shame in that.

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The goal is finding the process that fits

you and your situation and your family.

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So just to round this out The, the

best use of AI is for education,

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organization, brainstorming, preparation.

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And I would say don't use it as

your only source of support because

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divorce is too important and the de-

and the decisions are so significant,

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and your future matters too much.

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This is your future.

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Like, don't forget.

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Don't give up and let something hang, um,

that's gonna bite you later because I want

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you to look back on this and go, "Whoa,

I'm so thankful I went through this.

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My life is so much better."

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So anyway, I don't wanna

be afraid of i- of AI.

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I think we are living in,

in such fascinating times.

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That's how … Sometimes I can get

scared, but I wanna just look at it as

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it's so helpful and fun when you use it.

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So it's like helping us in ways we never

imagined, and I believe it absolutely can

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be a healthy part of your divorce process.

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But at the end of the day, divorce is not

just a legal event, it's a human event.

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It's emotional, it's relational, it's

personal, and while AI can provide

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information, it cannot provide wisdom.

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Wisdom comes from experience,

from conversations, from trusted

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professionals, from faith, from

community, from God, and from taking

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the time to make thoughtful decisions.

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So if you are navigating divorce right

now, use every tool available to you.

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Learn, ask questions, get

information, but don't do it alone.

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And remember, midlife is not your crisis.

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This is not your crisis.

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It's your comeback.

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So if you'd like help understanding your

options, go to my website, lisacaskey.com,

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and just download the divorce roadmap.

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It's just a really easy way to get

a big picture of how divorce works.

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If you want some support from me,

check out the Divorce Comeback Group

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that meets on Wednesdays, or just

schedule a divorce clarity section.

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So- session.

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So thank you so much for being here.

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I hope that this gives you a little peace.

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Like I said, I think the more knowledge

you get, the more peace that brings you.

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So I'll see you next week.

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Thanks so much for being here.

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Bye.