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Breaking Glass Ceilings and Embracing Emotions: Communication Propels To New Heights With Melinda Lee
Episode 428th February 2024 • Speak In Flow • Melinda Lee
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Welcome to Speak in Flow with Melinda Lee!

In today's solo episode, Melinda dives deep into the nuances of personal growth, emotional resilience, and the power of storytelling. Join her as she shares insights on breaking glass ceilings, overcoming barriers, and mastering the art of emotional management.

1. **Breaking Glass Ceilings**

- Explore strategies and mindsets to break through limitations and achieve your highest potential.

- Discover actionable steps to shatter barriers and pave the way for success in your personal and professional life.

2. **Overcoming Barriers and Propelling to New Heights**

- Uncover the hidden obstacles that may be holding you back and learn how to overcome them with courage and determination.

- Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and transformation, and propel yourself to new heights of achievement.

3. **Managing Emotions of Nervousness, Fear, or Anger**

- Gain valuable insights into managing and harnessing the power of your emotions.

- Learn practical techniques to navigate feelings of nervousness, fear, or anger, and channel them towards positive outcomes.

4. **The Art of Listening and Connecting with Others**

- Explore the profound impact of active listening in fostering meaningful connections and building strong relationships.

- Discover how the art of listening can serve as a powerful tool for empathy, understanding, and collaboration.

5. **Storytelling for Influence**

- Unlock the secrets of persuasive storytelling and its ability to inspire, motivate, and influence others.

- Learn how to craft compelling narratives that resonate with your audience and drive action towards your goals.

Tune in to this episode for actionable insights, empowering stories, and practical wisdom to help you speak in flow and unleash your full potential!

Don't forget to subscribe to Speak in Flow with Melinda Lee for more inspiring episodes and transformative conversations. Join us on this journey of growth, discovery, and empowerment!

About Melinda:

Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.

She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.

Website: https://speakinflow.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow

Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall

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Transcripts

Melinda Lee:

Welcome, dear listeners to the speak in flow

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podcast. This is where we dive into the art of communication

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and leadership development. I'm so glad you're here. Today's

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powerful episode is about breaking the glass ceiling, and

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how our communication can propel you to new heights. A glass

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ceiling, we think about that when we're thinking about it's a

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metaphorical barrier, right? When we're thinking about when

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we're at work, and we're climbing up and trying to get

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promotions, and then suddenly, there's a glass ceiling, the

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system may not be set up to promote you. Many of us women,

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minorities feel this the most, when I think about a glass

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ceiling at a personal level, because it can affect us both

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professionally and also personally, I think about my

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grandmother, when she was 25 years old, she was sold into a

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marriage to a man who's 35 years her senior. That means she

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listened to her husband, and also three wives talking about a

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glass ceiling. She had no saying lots of barriers, couldn't say

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what she wanted, or get what she wanted, because she couldn't

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even speak it. Most of our glass ceilings are actually they're

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not as difficult and challenging as my grandmother. In fact, most

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of our own glass ceilings are own. They come from ourselves.

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And I call those communication barriers. These are the barriers

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that sounds something like I don't know if I should say this.

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I don't know if I have all the information. I better not see

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it. I'm not ready yet. It's our own doubt, preventing us from

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speaking up. Think about when you're in a team meeting. And

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there's lots of people talking and they seem to know all they

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have all the information and you're sitting there thinking,

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Should I say something? Is that my time, I don't want to

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interrupt them. So we place our own communication, glass

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ceilings upon ourselves. So whether the system is not set up

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for us, let's not consider that right now. But let's think about

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our own because we can control ourselves. So what are our own

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communication, glass ceilings that we want to break through.

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Because when you do, you can start to be seen, heard and

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respected as the leader that you know you are. So today, we're

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going to dive into how to do this. I mean, this hits home for

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me, I know this personally. And all too well. As I mentioned, I

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was not given a good communication model, or role

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model. And so when I went to work for corporate, it was hard

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for me, I did what I was told and worked really, really hard

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and, and then suddenly I get an email one day I've been into

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this company, 15 years, I get an email, it was an announcement

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that a new hire gets promoted before me. It was all of my

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effort.

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So all of my efforts went two ways. And I noticed that this

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person that did get promoted, was a better speaker than me,

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have the right connections, was communicating and meeting with

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the right people putting himself out there. And at that point,

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for better or for worse, it propelled me to get better as a

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speaker. So I did not, I was not born with a gift to communicate

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and speak publicly. And here I am. 20 years later, got all the

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tools and techniques. And now here I'm sharing this from a

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deeply rooted hurt. But now I have this passion to help so

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many others. And so I encourage you to really take a moment and

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take these tips for you today. Because I want you to break that

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glass ceiling. So here's how to increase your communication

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competence and influence. Self awareness, regulating your

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emotion, listening to others, setting your boundaries and

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communicating them and storytelling. So first self

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awareness, having your own self awareness and having critical

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thinking about it. Really asking yourself, How am I

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communicating? Am I communicating like the leader

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that I know that I am the leader that the organisation wants you

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to be needs you to be? Am I avoiding conflict? Am I avoiding

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opportunities to speak up, or on the opposite side, am I speaking

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up and being aggressive, trying to demand my way. On both sides

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of the continuum, I want you to just really do some self

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reflection. And ask yourself where you are, because that will

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give you the baseline, right, you're not going to change

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overnight, but at least you can start to take steps. Once you

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have acknowledged your baseline, and then you regulate your

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emotion, to write emotion regulation, managing your

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emotion, whether you are nervous, because you don't want

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to speak up, or whether you're angry, because you're not

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getting your way. Both you want to start to regulate your

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emotion, using breath, right. It's a visceral feeling, it's so

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instinctive. So you have to learn how to use your breath.

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And I'm sure you've heard it all the time. But this is so true.

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If this helps I take cold showers, because it forces me to

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be uncomfortable. And then I do deep breath, I do the box

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breathing technique in before, hold it for 234 and all the cold

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water is dripping on me and I'm freezing and I just exhale to

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try to slow down my nervous system. So whether you're

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nervous or angry, you're slowing down that nervous system,

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slowing down the emotion, calming it, and then in before

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hold it for for exhale for four fold for for just like a box. So

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that will allow you to calm your nervous system as much as

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possible, then this opens up your brain to free to free

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itself from the cloudiness of that emotion and then you can

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communicate more effectively. Then once you're able to

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communicate once you have communicated more effectively

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using respectful words, you move on to the next step, which is

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listen, listen to others. Listen, carefully understand

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where they're at. And the other day I was in a workshop and the

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facilitator did this beautifully. She knew where the

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people were at, she just did an exercise and activity, people

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were speaking and she was trying to close up the exercise. And a

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person in the audience just kept on speaking, kept on talking.

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She's trying to reconvene people. And so she walked up to

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that person and says, Hey, I know it's frustrating, you're

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speaking and you're engaged in your conversation. It's

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frustrating to have to stop. I understand. It can be

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frustrating. And that's part of the exercise. And I want you to

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know that you can speak again or you can continue the

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conversation later. For now, let's all reconvene. So notice

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that the facilitator address the person's frustration or the

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feeling so listening to other people, knowing where they're at

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calling it out, and then bringing it back to what you

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need. clearly, concisely, which then brings you this to the next

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point, which is know your boundaries.

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Far, and has have no regrets and no apology to communicate that

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if someone is giving you too much and burnings too much with

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more tasks, more things, your kids your boss, you can kindly

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say, Hey, I cannot possibly take on this I want to you can

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acknowledge the importance of the tasks I know this task is

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very important. And I cannot take on this task without

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sacrificing my own energy or without sacrificing the quality

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of the other things that I am committed to doing. And not

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apologise. And lastly, you storytelling. Storytelling is a

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powerful communication technique. Most people want to

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just take just say it like it is here are the facts. This is what

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we need to do to demand it. Or you can inspire action with

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stories. Imagine being able to tell your team, if you're stuck

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in a project and not knowing what to do, maybe you're set the

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client. And you don't want to tell the client what had just

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happened. You can bring in a narrative, a project where you

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did communicate with the client communicated with the client

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effectively immediately and the lessons learned around it. So

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communicating and telling a narrative is better than you

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going into your team and say hey, talk to the client right

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now. You're all in trouble. Right then the team feels

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contracted telling us your narrative inspires action

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because the emotion around it excites your team because it's

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been done before. So tell it with the positivity and the

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excitement that is possible inspires action. So using

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storytelling is a powerful way to communicate with influence

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and leading people. So those are the key tips on how to break

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your own communication barrier. Know yourself know how to manage

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those emotions of fear or aggressiveness. Right. Listen to

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others. Communicate your boundaries, and storytelling,

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for inspiring action and others. I hope that you will go and

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implement these techniques to break your own communication

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barriers and that glass ceiling, propel yourself to new heights

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expand to new heights and lead people in a way that is positive

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and inspires change. Until the next episode, I am your sister

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in flow. Take care. See you next time.

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