It's inevitable that you'll feel overwhelmed in your job.

Kristi and Stino give advice on how to discuss it with your manager.

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⏱️ Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:48 - Overwhelmed in the workplace

00:02:46 - Emotional vs. data-driven conversations

00:06:26 - Turning stress into actionable insights

00:09:25 - Crafting business-focused recommendations

00:11:43 - Handling emotions during tough discussions

00:12:06 - Unique stress relief methods

00:12:47 - Empowering the first conversation

00:13:30 - Cliffhanger!

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💁‍♀️💁‍♂️ Connect with the hosts:

Kristi Faltorusso's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristiserrano/

Kristi's website: https://www.kristifaltorusso.com/

Stijn "Stino" Smet's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stijn-smet-%F0%9F%90%B3-330435a9/

Key topics: data

[Stino] (0:03 - 0:16)

So the thing is what I've learned is not to play the emotional card because your manager will like woundless. The thing is you can't get shit done with data. Managers speak the language of data.

[Kristi] (0:28 - 0:37)

Welcome back to the CS Hotline. You've got Kristi and Stino. I'm so excited for this question today, Stino.

Are you ready?

[Stino] (0:38 - 0:39)

I am ready. I haven't...

[Kristi] (0:39 - 0:52)

We have an anonymous question. We have an anonymous question. I like anonymous.

I like it. It's Halloween. It's a little spooky that nobody wants to tell us their name.

Probably because they don't want to put their manager on blast. Are you ready for this one?

[Stino] (0:53 - 1:04)

I am totally ready. I also have the feeling that people are leaving questions anonymously. They will be like super honest and be like super blunt.

So I do... I'm curious. So do tell me what is the question of the day.

[Kristi] (1:05 - 1:48)

So here we go. Let me see if I can read this properly. Okay.

So this is from our friend Anonymous. So Anonymous, if you're out there, we are here answering your question. So I'm a CSM in an organization where we've seen extensive layoffs.

Our customer base continues to grow and the workload continues to increase, but the team has no plans to increase or hire more. My manager's expectations of me continue to grow and the work feels like it's being piled on with no support, resources, or plans to reduce that. As a CSM, how do I manage communication with my manager more effectively so that I don't feel like I'm dying?

Oh my God.

[Stino] (1:48 - 1:51)

This is a spooky question.

[Kristi] (1:51 - 1:54)

I can't even say he or she. They're dying.

[Stino] (1:55 - 1:59)

This is so in line with the Halloween episode, I would say.

[Kristi] (1:59 - 2:08)

This is so real because I feel like Anonymous, there's probably 30,000 Anonymous people out there that feel this exact feeling.

[Stino] (2:08 - 2:15)

Yeah, 100%. Also, little side note, I do think that we got this question from a Ouija board because this is a scary-ass question.

[Kristi] (2:16 - 2:46)

All right. And you know what? This is probably not going to be an easy one to answer, but we're going to do our best.

So I kind of teed up the question here. What are some of your initial thoughts and feedback here? So we got to talk about how are we empowering this CSM, our Anonymous friend, to go and have a conversation with their boss?

So we're not trying to solve all the problems, but how do we facilitate a conversation between a CSM and a leader that feels productive and hopefully going to yield an outcome that's going to help support them?

[Stino] (2:46 - 2:50)

Well, I'm going to be straight up. I'm not saying that I submitted that question, but I was that.

[Kristi] (2:51 - 2:52)

Are you Anonymous?

[Stino] (2:52 - 6:26)

I am. No, no. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

No. We're raw and real, so I'm going to admit I was at CSM. Even though I'm the head of CS at Will, I'm still doing most of the operational stuff as well, getting to the mat with my team.

The thing was, I was overwhelmed in September. The entire September, I was like, I can't do this shit anymore. I'm dying.

I was barely keeping afloat because the company is scaling and growing, which is perfectly fine. But all these accounts were coming on and they wanted to have onboarding and trainings. And I was like, I can't do the strategic anymore if I'm doing this day in, day out.

So I needed to have that conversation with my manager. So the first thing that I want to say is don't play it emotional. I do get its emotional effect on you because it drains you.

You're tired. You are moody. I was basically on my period for the last 90 days.

You know that I don't have a period, but I felt like I was on my period. You're moody constantly. So the thing is, what I've learned is not to play the emotional card because your manager won't listen.

The thing is, what I've done and also what I've taken away from the operational stuff, you can get shit done with data. So the thing is, you adjust the time tracking. It's as simple as that and the results that came out of it.

The thing is, I'm doing this amount of onboarding or I have 20 client calls. I'm trying my best to do a digital motion, but sometimes our clients ask a high touch based on the kickoff. I can't do a kickoff digitally.

I don't have the time to build it out, so I need to do the calls. All of that, do that in time tracking. Normally, if you have a good manager, you would have a CSP as a customer success manager, which allows you to do that or keep track.

Even if you don't, a HubSpot, most of the startups have a HubSpot or Salesforce where you keep track of your work and start from that data. This is my book of business. This is the amount of client calls that comes out of it.

This is how many times that I spend on administration shit that I need to do as a follow-up. All of this together, this is my contract on how many hours that I need to work. This is the amount of hours that I work.

This is the amount of hours that the rest of my team works because it was not only me, I was pulling my team, literally spread it like the thinnest. But I do think having that conversation, don't go in emotionally because your manager won't hear you. They will see you as this petty little thing like, oh, he's complaining, he's complaining all the time.

You don't want to be that person within the business. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to come with facts. Like we do with facts, like if a customer churns, it's not our fault.

We come with facts. If a customer expands, it's a joyous, so we win. But we come with facts like, hey, this is our doing because we did X, Y, and Z.

You're doing it with data already. So also for your own personal mental health, come with data. Managers speak the language of data.

They speak the language of rationality. At the end of the day, it's still a business. So you need to present business data.

If you are, for example, sorry, and I'm going on a rant here because again, I was moody, moody for 90 days. So this is literally my own personal therapy session, but that's the thing.

[Kristi] (6:26 - 6:28)

You were dying. I get it. You were dying.

[Stino] (6:28 - 6:52)

Going from data, and that's what I've learned over the last few years, no one is going to take your emotion. Like seriously, if you are leading with emotion, if you're leading with data and then get emotional, totally fine because you're still having the facts laid out in front of you. Like I don't say that you need to be stoic about it, but you need to have a strong foundation that validates that emotion in a kind of way, if that makes sense.

[Kristi] (6:54 - 9:25)

I mean, listen, you're spot on. I tell everybody, I'm like, listen, just like you would in a boardroom, nobody cares what you think or what you feel, right? They want to know what is the data telling us.

So please, to your point, avoid those conversations. I feel overwhelmed, right? Like that doesn't tell me anything and I can't provide a solution, right?

So if I'm the manager and somebody comes to me and is like, I feel overwhelmed, I'm like, okay, that is your feeling, right? But what is causing you to be overwhelmed, right? Like you have to present it with facts.

And listen, to your point, even if you don't have a CSP, even if you don't have a CRM in place, use Excel and only like you could do it for a week, go day by day. How are you spending your time all day, every day for five business days? And then go back and say, maybe two, you know, I mean, five business days, maybe you do two weeks, but bring the data about that, right?

I spent X amount of time on calls, X amount of time on prep, X amount of time on followup. This is administrative. Here is where I'm going, email correspondence, internal meetings, externally, right?

Like bring that categories, put a little pie chart up, make it pretty, make data easy to consume, but say, here is how I'm spending my time. And so with the number of accounts that I have right now, here's what I can do feasibly. Here's what I can't do.

But listen, I'm going to say, take it a step further. If you're the CSM, you're not, you're not the manager. You're not the leader.

You're not the VP. You're not the chief customer officer. You might not have the experience to figure out how to solve this, but come up with a recommendation.

Even if it's the worst recommendation in the world, help your managers see that you're trying to be part of a solution here. So maybe it's, Hey, I can't do X, Y, Z because my bandwidth doesn't permit that. But I was thinking about why don't we take this cohort of customers and instead of us doing biweekly meetings right now, I'm going to shift these customers to monthly because these customers, they're in a good place.

They're strong adoption. There's great engagement. They don't need me to have a call with them biweekly or there's another cohort of customers here.

You know what? We're going to do some group training or let's start thinking about scaled programs. Can we do some webinars or something like come up with some recommendation that helps offset the burden?

Because here's the thing. Your manager wants to believe that they hired someone really smart, show them that you're really smart. And the fact is anonymous.

You probably are really smart. You probably have great ideas on how you can fix this. Remove the emotion.

Like Sino said, come with some data, come with some facts, present a solution and have a business conversation.

[Stino] (9:25 - 9:26)

Yeah.

[Kristi] (9:26 - 9:27)

Not an emotional dialogue.

[Stino] (9:27 - 9:46)

No, 100%. And indeed, if you're in coming with, if you're already part of the solution, it will take you more seriously. I like to say that like it can be the most weird solution that you have in mind.

Let's say layoffs are happening and you're like hire more people like that. That isn't going to work.

[Kristi] (9:46 - 9:49)

It's not the solution. Let's also use common sense.

But the thing is that your manager will see that you're trying like being part of the solution. And even though that you don't have the experience, for instance, if you're having a good manager, they will try to support you in every way, shape or form that you can basically. And maybe do then need to suggest like switch up those calls or we are, let's take two weeks and build a complete playbook that does only digital touch.

Like that's the thing. Like if you indeed take the emotion out of the equation, but the thing is also sometimes you can't help yourself and you're presenting this data.

You can't help yourself. Everyone else can.

But I can't. So the thing is, yeah, you can be emotional about it like that. But if you found it on facts like it's easier, but it's okay if your voice cracks up, if you're presenting those facts, I'm not going to lie about that.

Listen, I have cried many a time in front of a CEO or some C-level executive. It is hard, right? Like this is personal.

You're overwhelmed. You're feeling in the feelings, especially if you get into the point where like your last part of the statement is, I feel like I'm dying. Like I get it.

You're at a breaking point. I respect that. Try to just compartmentalize as best you can.

Give yourself time. Don't go into this conversation at the peak of your emotional breakdown, right? Like let's gather our thoughts.

Let's go for a walk. Go have some conversation. It try not to have this at the peak of any emotional moment.

Come when you have a clear head, right? When you're ready to have a productive discussion. But also, yes, it's okay.

Tears are okay. Being frustrated is okay. All these emotions, they're okay.

Let's normalize having feelings. We're not robots to your point, but be as prepared as possible.

Yeah. And the thing is also, I don't know if they have it in the States, but there was something that's called rage rooms, like where you'd go into a room and you can literally fuck everything up. Like it's with all faces and they gave you a pad.

They have like the hammers and stuff. You can go and just like break stuff and you break glass and like break machines.

100%.

They do. Of course they would have a rage room in the US. You know how much rage is over here these days?

Jesus. It's not a safe place to be.

Well, the thing is a rage room is the best also to let out that initial like- Or you can just go to the gym or you could just go to the gym.

You can go for a run. You don't need to go break stuff. You don't need to go beat anybody up.

Grand cup, a bottle of wine. But yeah, sports is also- Sure, you can do that. No, but I do think that we covered that question because there is nothing really, you can do other stuff, but it happens after the conversation that you're having.

So I do think the question was more like, how do I start this conversation? And I really, really think that this is the only and perfect starting point because at the end of the day, you're still working at a business.

Right.

Ooh, it's a short one. It's a shorty.

But that's okay. Listen, we want to give you an entry point to the conversation. I think we did that.

I think we at least gave an example of how to go and broker this discussion. You obviously gave some physical therapy that we're trying to work through also. Go beat stuff up, break stuff, because Tino thinks that's a great idea.

I think you should go for a walk, have a cup of tea. Clearly, we've got different approaches here. But at the end of the day, hopefully you feel slightly more empowered to go have this conversation.

Also recognize you are not alone out there. There are a ton of people experiencing what you're experiencing. But that said, go start with a conversation.

If the conversation doesn't work, come back, submit another question, and we're going to have advice on how you can go to part two.

Awesome.

We'll give it a little cliffhanger. Awesome. All right, guys.

See you soon.

Bye-bye.

You've been listening to the Customer Success Hotline produced by Lifetime Value Media and a member of the Lifetime Value Media Network. Visit the show at lifetimevalue.link slash CSH for links to each episode, show notes, and instructions on how to submit your burning question.