Ian Hawkins 0:02
Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.
My local club I coach a couple of football teams, soccer for those not in a football country. And some big games recently some semi finals, the semi final for the women's game a couple of weeks ago, I was just thinking about good message to be giving them before the game, just a simple message. And and I was thinking about what those key messages were and just words started coming through to me on the drive to the game. And I started thinking I'll actually there's a bit of a bit of an ABC sort of role to them there. So that's what I'll do that ABC. And then there was a third, the fourth one that came up the D which is decisive. So the A being accountability. As a team, you're accountable, first and foremost to yourself. Because if you're not showing up your best way, then you can't possibly be the best for the team. And I'm going to go through the other three in future episodes. But just to whet your appetite and be beyond belief and see being control as in what you can control, controlling the controllables not trying to control anything outside of what you can actually control. But starting today with accountability, and like I said, first and foremost, accountable to yourself. Have you prepared the best you can? Are you making sure you're turning up with the right attitude? Are you putting in the most effort that you can. And whether this is football or life, the same thing applies. The accountability to self is going to be the key starting point to your best performance. Because the moment you start finding external reasons why you can or can't do anything. And half the battle is already lost. Because you're giving away your power. So accountability in whatever area of your life you apply it to is crucial. Because without it, you're at the mercy of external in influences. So self accountability, what can I do to positively influence this situation? How will I measure that? How will I make sure that I'm actually doing the best that I can. And I'll go more into control that the one of the best ways to look at your own personal accountability is things that you've actually got control over. on the football field, it's easy, it's like effort. Are you working hard enough? Are you following the game plan? Are you been there for your teammates? applying those same three things right. Now I'm by no means advocating effort to the point of exhaustion in your day to day life. But there are certain times where you need to have the discipline to put in what efforts required to get done what needs to be done. Certainly always benefit from encouraging yourself. And then if you haven't got your own game, plan your own process your own plan your own structure. Again, that's something that you can be accountable to is creating it and then holding yourself to account to following that plan. Now But the other element of accountability is the team accountability. And if you have a family, or if you have friends or you have work colleagues and you've got a team, you've got other people that you are dependent on, and they depend on you for the best possible result. But not dependence to the point of relying solely on, but something I've talked about before, which is interdependence. So mutually beneficial. And in a team environment, particularly sport, of course, mutually beneficial, we want to work towards the same goal. If you're applying that to your work, or to your family premotor The point is, are you being accountable to them? Are you showing up the best you can for them? Are you doing what you said you would do? Are you following the plan? Do you guys even have a plan? Now for me, planning can be like pulling teeth. And I love it. But I know how positive is it is my life how, how important it is that I have it in place each and every day. So on a Sunday, my wife and I'll sit down and we'll plan out the week anything from our meal plan. So we have to make decisions during the week, at the end of the day when we've both been working. And our brains are probably not the best decision making space, we make that decision on a Sunday, we map it all out for the week. And there's some flexibility within that because life happens. But predominantly, the decisions already made, it makes it easy. And then we map out the different things that we want to get achieved in the business, in our personal lives around the house, financially, etc. So there's an accountability that we plan together. And then we execute both individually and together. And then accountability means that we're always looking to perform the best that we can. We're accountable to ourselves, and we hold each other to account as well.
Now, of course, we've done a fair bit of work, individually and collectively, to have that sort of ability to be able to have those conversations. Because it's not always easy, right? You trigger your feet and no one triggers your ball on your partner and your kids or other family members, let's be honest. So it's being able to get yourselves in a state where you can have those conversations calmly, and with clarity. So if you're needing more accountability, that's where the journal comes in. That's where having an external person to to process information to talk things out to give you a different perspective comes into it as well. And you know, as a coach myself, I'm a massive advocate of having a coach or a mentor or a guide. Someone you can trust that's going to be able to just listen. Sometimes they don't always need to offer advice. They just need to be there safe place to listen, a trusted place to listen so you can articulate what you need to articulate and work it out yourself.
So there's always the benefit of that third party accountability as well if you need it. And for me, I I'd be honest about that I needed as well. I have third party accountability people in place for me. I have my own coaches. Like I said, we have conversations with my wife, the same sort of thing. And I've done my own personal self accountability tools as well. So whatever it is for you, it's starting to take those steps. Where am I holding myself accountable? Where is I'm accountable that same? And where can I improve? Write that down in your journal? I haven't got one yet. I'm gonna keep banging on about it. Get yourself a journal. And allow your unconscious mind to find you the answers. And the all of these things will set you on the path towards your best performances.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform
