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Hello darling heart and welcome to the Drink Less Live Better podcast.
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This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely or boring.
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I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.
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I'm a best selling author, expert speaker and life coach.
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I'm here to champion you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.
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Give me a follow on Instagram at drink less, live better, and head to the website, drink less, live better dotcom, where you'll
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be able to sign up to the 5 day drink less experiment, find blog posts and you can choose to join The Email Club where I share
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resources, wisdom, insights and glimmers of hope and joy. I hope you enjoy this episode. Let's get straight to it. Calm down. When in the history
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calm down?
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And yet it's an often repeated refrain.
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Last week I had the misfortune of something happening that made me the very very opposite of calm.
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I was wound up, I was agitated, I absolutely felt the adrenaline coursing through my body.
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I felt my raised heartbeat, I felt my dry butt sweaty palms and it was so so uncomfortable.
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I was with someone and I started to articulate everything about the situation that felt really horrible to me.
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And I realized as I was talking, I was going faster and faster, and my voice was raising in pitch. I was deeply agitated.
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The person on the receiving end of this shook their head and then told me to calm down, following that up with why don't you
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just take a deep breath?' Now in that moment I was as far away as I possibly could be from being able to see that taking a
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deep breath was a great idea, even though that piece of advice had probably been a good piece of advice the calm down that
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had come just before it made me absolutely unwilling to hear that advice let alone take it.
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When somebody tells us to calm down it sounds patronising, it sounds to me as if they have some sort of upper hand, more than
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that though, it feels as if my emotions are being completely invalidated, as if I don't have the right to become elevated
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in my feelings and panicky about the thing that really is upsetting me.
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I should be able to reserve the right to feel what ever emotions are coming up for me at any time.
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Being told to calm down in that instance had exactly the opposite effect on me.
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I got more and more angry about the thing that I was already angry about and also angry at the person who was offering out
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that gem of a piece of advice.
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I mentioned that I was not interested in calming down.
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I might have said a few slightly sharper words than that as well, and I said, I just want to tell you about this situation
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and I can't help the manner in which I'm saying it at the moment.
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It was recognized that their comment wasn't appreciated and they definitely backed down, and they were able to then listen to what I had to say.
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And, really, that's all I was asking for, just a listening ear.
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And, of course, people find it difficult to listen, particularly if something is uncomfortable to hear and particularly if
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they're the kind of person who likes to fix things, to smooth the waters, to make everything better, which, of course, is
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what this person wanted to do for me.
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Next time you feel compelled to tell somebody to calm down, just hang on for a second before you do so.
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Reconsider it whether it's absolutely the right thing to say or not. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.
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Please rate or review this podcast wherever you listen, I'd be really grateful. And check out today's show notes.
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You'll find a hidden podcast episode for your 5 pm craving. And PS, I believe in you.
