Shownotes
In today’s episode, Sarah tackles a common challenge faced by high achievers: perfectionism. We explore why perfectionism can be a double-edged sword, the stress and anxiety it causes, and how you can overcome it without compromising on quality. She shares actionable insights, including a 7-step approach to embracing the concept of “good enough,” designed to help you reclaim your time, reduce stress, and achieve sustainable success.
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Introduction
Why tackling perfectionism is crucial for female leaders.
[00:02:00] The Downside of Perfectionism
Perfectionism’s connection to imposter syndrome and stress.
How it impacts performance, well-being, and relationships.
[00:05:00] Personal Story: My Struggles with Perfectionism
Balancing motherhood and a senior HR role.
The transformative power of the “good enough” concept.
[00:07:30] Case Study: Breaking the Cycle
A perfectionist architect’s journey to embracing good enough.
[00:08:00] The 7-Step Approach to Good Enough
Identify Two Tasks to Experiment On
Focus on low-impact tasks.
Define Good Enough for Yourself
Consider time and impact trade-offs.
Give Yourself Permission to Experiment
Use affirmations to reframe perfectionist tendencies.
Focus on the Benefits
Reclaim time for personal priorities like family or self-care.
Monitor Your Progress
Reflect on outcomes and celebrate success.
Engage Support
Seek feedback and accountability from peers or managers.
Address Underlying Beliefs
Work with a coach or therapist to reframe limiting beliefs.
[00:17:00] Recap and Final Thoughts
Quick summary of the seven steps.
Encouragement to embrace imperfection and unlock your potential.
Thank you for listening—remember, you’re capable of more than you know. Shine brightly, lead boldly, and unlock your extraordinary potential. Be unstoppable.
Useful Links
Sign up for Weekly Career Inspiration
Learn about Leadership & Advancement Coaching Programmes
Join The Love What You Do Facebook Group
Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn
Rate & Review the Podcast
If you found this episode of Unstuck & Unstoppable helpful, please do rate and review it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
If you're kind enough to leave a review, please do let Sarah know so she can say thank you. You can always reach her at: sarah@careertreecoaching.co.uk
Transcripts
Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,
the podcast for ambitious female
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:leaders who want to create more impact,
income, and influence in their careers.
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:feel connected to their passion
and purpose, but without
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:selling out or burning out.
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:I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach
and career strategist, helping women
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:like you thrive in leadership roles
while staying true to your values.
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:I'm the founder of CareerTree
Coaching and have over 15 years of
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:coaching experience and significant HR
leadership experience to share with you.
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:I know as a female leader it can
be hard to find time to focus
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:on your career aspirations.
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:The day job can be all consuming.
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:Plus, no matter how senior you are,
there are always going to be times
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:when you feel stuck, when you have
self doubt, or feel like an imposter.
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:And that's where unstuck
and unstoppable comes in.
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:Each week I'll be sharing practical
strategies, insightful interviews and
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:inspiring stories to help you boost
your confidence, lead with purpose
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:and achieve sustainable success.
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:If you're ready to stop playing
small and unlock the incredible
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:potential you have within you and feel
unstoppable, you're in the right place.
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:Let's get started.
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:Let's dive into today's topic.
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:which is all about how to stop
being a perfectionist at work.
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:I thought this would be a good
topic to talk about because, we
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:probably don't talk about it enough.
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:Sometimes people don't feel comfortable
sharing that they are experiencing
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:challenges with perfectionist tendencies,
because they don't want to appear weak
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:or not able to cope or whatever reason.
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:So we try and work through it ourselves.
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:I thought it'd be a good topic for
us to talk to, because over the 15
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:years that I've been a career and
leadership coach, I have actually
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:worked with a number of Clients
who've experienced challenges around
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:perfectionist tendencies and it can often
go hand in hand with imposter feelings
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:it can play into that as well.
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:Definitely something that we might
feel we've got to tackle at some point
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:in our careers because it can be a
bit of a double-edged sword, can't it?
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:It can help us.
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:, achieve, high standards, , work to
a very high level, but can, come
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:with challenges around unnecessary
anxiety and, , slowing you down.
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:What I want to try and, position
today is that you can still be a high
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:achiever, , without being a perfectionist.
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:, because, , the research tells us
that if you are a perfectionist or
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:you have perfectionist tendencies,
then you're probably going to
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:suffer from high levels of stress.
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:anxiety, you probably experience a fear
of failure, fear of making mistakes,
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:, you constantly feel you have to strive
to do better, you're never happy with
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:the success that you've achieved, , you
probably procrastinate because you're
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:a perfectionist, and you may experience
lower levels of psychological well being.
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:or feelings of happiness.
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:Perfectionist tendencies can
impact people around you.
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:So your team, , your peers, also
your family can be impacted by
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:your perfectionist, , tendencies.
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:What I'm going to do today is just
take you through a technique that can
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:help with, Changing how you think
about, perfectionism for yourself.
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:One of the first things you can do
is think about where it comes from.
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:It can be helpful, it's not
essential, but it can be helpful to
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:know, , How long have I been feeling
that I have to be a perfectionist?
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:Is it something I've
always struggled with?
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:Is it something fairly recent?
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:, And where's it come from?
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:Sometimes if you've had parents who
are perfectionists, or parents who
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:have set very high standards for you,
maybe academically, , then that can
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:trigger perfectionist tendencies.
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:, if you believe that your self worth is
tied up with your achievements, so maybe
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:you were praised for your achievement
rather than the effort you put into,
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:then getting that achievement that can
create, , perfectionist tendencies,
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:or if you feel like you need to be in
control because you are worried about
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:failing and appearing vulnerable, that
can also be a trigger for perfectionism
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:.
It might just be useful just to reflect about where it's come from,
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:, what might've triggered it for you.
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:And recognizing also that a lot of people
are scared that if they stop, being
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:a perfectionist, it's going to impact
their performance or their reputation.
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:And that's not going to be the case,
as I'm going to show you today.
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:I have suffered with it in the past.
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:When I was in my HR career, I was
a head of HR, and I just reduced
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:my hours down to four days a
week because I've become a mum.
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:And, , what I was finding is that
I felt like I was not doing either
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:of my jobs very well in that I was
not being able to achieve what I
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:wanted as my, in my head of HR role.
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:I was having to do as much in four
days as I was doing in five days
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:and I wasn't managing to deliver
the standard that I wanted to.
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:And then as a first time mum.
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:I'd set myself really high standards
about how I wanted to be a mum, and I
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:was really struggling to do that, , and
work as well, , and give my little boy
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:the kind of experience that I wanted to.
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:It was making me feel anxious
and a little bit depressed.
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:I found a great therapist
and he introduced me to
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:the concept of good enough.
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:It was just, revelationary.
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:It's something that I've carried
with me from that experience.
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:The concept of good enough, it's
not about delivering mediocre
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:work or low quality work.
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:It's just about recognizing that not
everything that you do is worthy of
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:100 percent of your time and energy.
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:Because as a perfectionist, you
want to do everything really
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:well and to a high standard.
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:It's recognizing actually that, not
everything at work is worthy of that.
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:, and I'm going to talk you through
how you can approach taking that
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:on board , as a way of being.
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:, because what we want to do is
reposition it for you as re channeling
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:the strength that you have through
experience of being a perfectionist,
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:rather than aiming for a lower goal.
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:We don't want to think about it
as lowering your standards, but
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:just rechanneling your strength.
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:I had a client that I worked with
around this area who always pops
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:into my mind when I think about this.
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:She was an architect in
an architect's practice.
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:accuracy, detail, high
standards, really important.
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:But what she had noticed was
that it was creating this,
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:overwhelm around perfection.
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:And it was, , impacting her
ability to work and do her job
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:and deliver her projects on time.
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:And what she was really concerned about
was that at home, she was trying to
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:get everything perfect at home as well.
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:She was spending her weekends tidying
her house, getting the kids organized,
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:not really doing things that she enjoyed
or that gave her a chance to recharge.
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:And she was heading towards burnout
and she could recognize this.
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:We worked together around
this concept of good enough.
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:And again for her, like me, it was
revelationary and she really embraced it
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:and put into place, that recognition that
not everything she did at work and at home
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:warranted those , really high standards.
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:It took time, but it transformed
how she approached both her work and
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:her, , home life, and she took on board
the way that, , I'm going to take you
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:through now this approach, to help you.
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:It broke the cycle for her, because
this is a pattern of thinking that
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:we've got into, and we just need
something to break that cycle and
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:give us a new pattern to establish.
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:I'm really happy to take you through
this seven step approach to establishing
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:good enough as your new mantra.
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:the first thing would be to
identify two pieces of work.
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:, we're not going to be doing everything
because we want it to be sustainable.
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:So the first step would be to identify
two pieces of work where you can challenge
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:yourself to deliver good enough work.,
they're probably going to be pieces of
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:work where they're not hugely impactful.
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:They're going to be low impact areas
because you don't want to put the pressure
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:on yourself where, doing good enough
work on something that is high impact.
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:Just noticing two, two things that work
where you can apply good enough work.
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:Questions you can ask yourself
to help with this is, are,
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:Am I using my time wisely?
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:And am I being productive?
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:Because within that whole task list,
that to do list that you've got, there
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:are going to be things where, , as
I said, they're not going to be
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:worthy of 100 percent of your time.
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:So that's the first thing is identifying
two things on your to do list that you
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:want to try out good enough approach.
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:The second thing then is to
define good enough for you.
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:, , we want to be thinking
about maximizing impact.
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:, for example, if you were to
spend an extra three hours making
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:a presentation, absolutely.
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:amazing top drawer, really high standard.
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:Is it going to increase the
impact for that client or for your
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:organization to the same degree?
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:Okay.
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:So it's like weighing up is that
extra three hours going to uplift
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:and make a difference in terms
of impact to that piece of work?
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:The answer is probably no.
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:It's probably going to be no.
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:You could probably spend an hour on
that presentation and still have the
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:desired impact that you want from it.
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:So it's weighing up.
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:, how am I going to define good enough?
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:Is it about the time factor?
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:How much time I'm going to spend on this?
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:Is it about the number of
edits that I'm going to do?
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:What's my cutoff point going to be?
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:Where I'm just going to accept
that this is good enough?
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:And Sometimes it can be useful to use
a time thing initially to say, okay, I'm
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:going to limit myself to spending an hour
on this and then I'm going to accept it.
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:It's going to be good enough.
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:Which, if you are a perfectionist
now and you're listening to this,
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:you're probably going to be going,
Oh my goodness, I can't do that.
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:, but stay tuned, because I'm going
to talk you through some other
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:things that will help you with this.
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:The third thing to do is to give
yourself permission to experiment,
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:and to learn from this experience and
not to worry about making a mistake
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:and being okay with it not being
perfect, which is a big challenge.
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:Because you're used and you've been
used for a long time to delivering
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:perfect work and I'm using perfect
loosely, because obviously everyone's
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:definition is different, but you're
used to delivering perfect work.
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:But, , one thing that can help
with this is using an affirmation.
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:We're talking about affirmations
in terms of changing a pattern in
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:your brain, because your brain has
a default that you go to, which is
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:about everything has to be perfect.
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:And what we want to do is
give it a different thought.
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:Because the brain doesn't like uncertainty
and you trying something new out is going
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:to push your brain into uncertainty.
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:giving it a, different thought that can be
reassuring can help you in this transition
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:phase where you're trying out good enough.
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:, your affirmation might be something
like, , I'm okay with experimenting
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:on this particular piece of work.
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:I don't expect it to be perfect.
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:And then you're just going to repeat
that over and over again to yourself.
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:It's better for you to.
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:come up with the affirmation because
it'll be more powerful for you.
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:But it's something along those lines
about giving yourself permission on this
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:particular piece of work for it not to be
perfect and to just experiment with it.
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:Because we want to shift this mindset
from everything having to be perfect to
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:thinking about this can be good enough.
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:And you could bring good enough
into this affirmation too.
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:You could say, I'm going to be
comfortable experimenting with good enough
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:on this piece of work just to give your
brain that comfort and that certainty.
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:Then the fourth thing that can help
with this is to increase your
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:motivation so you can focus on the
benefit this is going to give you.
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:If we think about the presentation
example I've just talked about,
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:instead of spending three hours on this
presentation, you're going to give
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:yourself one hour to spend on creating it.
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:And don't forget you've got delegation
so you might be able to delegate
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:some of the work to somebody else.
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:That then is going to
free up two hours for you.
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:The benefit of that might be that you
can leave on time and you can get home
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:and spend time with your family or you
can leave on time and get to the gym
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:because you haven't been able to do any
exercise for ages or that yoga class.
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:focusing on the benefit of you
experimenting with good enough.
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:Or it might be that you'll be able to
feel less stressed because , you're taking
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:charge of your perfectionist tendencies.
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:So that's our fourth step.
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:Then our fifth step, and this is
about being able to then start
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:embedding this approach and making it
sustainable, is to monitor your progress.
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:And there's two elements to this.
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:The first would be to review and
notice what happens when you submit or,,
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:complete a good enough piece of work.
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:Does anybody notice?
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:Does anybody say, that's
not your usual standard?
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:, or, , what happens?
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:Probably nothing.
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:Probably nobody will, , comment on it.
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:Recognizing that it doesn't have
an impact of you spending less
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:time on something or doing less
rewrites or less edits on it.
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:, so that's one element of
monitoring your progress.
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:, and the second thing of that would
be to check in with yourself.
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:What did I, avoid because I was fearful
of failing what did I put off this week?
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:Because I was scared I was going to fail.
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:, and what did I actually take on,
take forward when I felt uncertain.
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:It's noticing when you're embracing
good enough and when you're stuck in
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:perfectionism because you can start
to celebrate when you are actually
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:moving things forward without having
everything perfect before you do
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:.
And you can start to notice the things where you are still avoiding the good
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:enough approach or where you might
be procrastinating because you're.
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:afraid of failure and just asking
yourself how could I approach that
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:differently so that I can move it forward
in terms of a good enough approach.
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:So monitoring your progress on that.
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:Then our sixth point is to engage
some support with this, because
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:sometimes we feel just got to
do it myself, do it on my own.
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:But actually you could look for support
from your boss or peers that you trust,
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:where you've got good relationships and
you can ask them for support in two ways.
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:You could show them a document or
something you're working on that's one of
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:your good enough, , pieces of work early
in the process and get their feedback.
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:So they might say, , yeah,
, that's absolutely fine.
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:That's good enough right now.
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:It'll help you in your judgment around
understanding what is good enough.
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:That's one thing you could ask them for.
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:The other thing you could ask them
for, , is to give you feedback and
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:you're going to tell them you're
giving them permission to do this, give
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:you feedback when you're maybe being
too fussy or too finicky or too high
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:maintenance to help you recognize when
maybe you don't need to be stressing
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:about that high level of input.
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:That's two things you can think about
in terms of getting support with this.
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:, and then the seventh point is
recognizing that underneath these
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:perfectionist tendencies might be
some unhelpful limiting beliefs.
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:And you might want to get some
professional support to unpack
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:those limiting beliefs and get
some help reframing them into
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:more supportive beliefs.
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:That could be from a coach, and that's
the work I do with my clients, or
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:depending on how deeply the beliefs
are held and where they've come from,
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:it might be getting some therapeutic
interventions, like I did when I
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:was struggling with being a mum.
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:So bear that in mind too, , because
you've probably been managing
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:these perfectionist tendencies
for a long time, so some things
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:might feel a bit hard to shift.
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:Hopefully that has given you some food
for thought around, , being able to
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:move through perfectionist tendencies.
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:And I'm just going to quickly
run through those seven points
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:again, just to remind you.
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:So we've got one is identify two
pieces of work that you can experiment
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:with,, a good enough approach.
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:The second thing is to define
good enough for yourself.
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:What does it mean for you?
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:The third thing is to give yourself
permission to experiment, permission
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:not to be perfect, and use an
affirmation to help you with that.
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:The fourth thing is to focus on the
benefits of taking a good enough approach.
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:The fifth thing is to monitor your
progress and learn from it, and also
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:celebrate when it has worked for you.
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:The sixth thing is to engage
support from your boss or peer.
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:And the seventh is to get support
professionally if you feel you need it.
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:, I would love to know, , if that
helps you, if you do take some action
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:around, , trying out the good enough
approach, then please message me.
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:Let me know.
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:I'd always love to know how it's gone.
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:This episode is also available to watch
on LinkedIn live and I'll put a link
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:in the show notes, and while you're
over on LinkedIn, do connect with me.
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:If we're not connected, I'd
love to make your acquaintance.
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:Thank you so much for listening
to this episode of the Unstuck
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:and Unstoppable podcast.
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:I have lots of free resources you
can access on my website, ww.career
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:tree coaching.co uk, and I'll
also put links in the show notes.
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:If you found this episode
helpful, then please subscribe
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:so you don't miss the next one.
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:And please do share it with a
friend and leave me a review
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:and I will personally thank you.
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:Remember, you're capable of more
than you know, shine brightly.
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:Lead boldly and unlock the
extraordinary potential within you.
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:Be unstoppable.
